JustPearlyThings - June 06, 2023


Pearl SCHOOLS Bitter Feminist


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

200.93459

Word count

2,150

Sentence count

158

Harmful content

Misogyny

37

sentences flagged

Hate speech

22

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Why do women always take the blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives? Why do men always take responsibility for their actions? Why is it that women always point the finger when things go wrong? And why do they complain about it?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So, today's topic is something that I have seen on this podcast and just in my day-to-day life.
00:00:06.880 And that is the victim mindset and victim mentality of modern women. 0.99
00:00:11.960 So, the example I use of this is something that's happened a couple times in this podcast.
00:00:16.580 I've had men and women both go viral on this podcast for the wrong reasons, okay?
00:00:21.500 People come on the show and they'll wild out.
00:00:24.360 And what happens is the men, I never hear from.
00:00:27.840 They just kind of take the L and move on.
00:00:30.160 But the women will come to me and start blaming me for their bad behavior on the podcast and for going viral for the wrong reasons. 1.00
00:00:38.940 Why do men take accountability for their actions where women always seem to point the finger? 1.00
00:00:44.760 I'd like to hear from the men first.
00:00:47.640 I guess I should go first since I'm here.
00:00:49.020 But I think that there is, from a young age, as a boy, man, you're somewhat held accountable from then.
00:01:00.640 You know, so if you do something wrong, especially I'm Nigerian.
00:01:02.860 So, if you did something wrong, you'll hear from your dad when he comes home.
00:01:06.400 So, you know, you're told very early on your actions have consequences.
00:01:11.660 And so you need to make sure that you don't do the wrong things in order to not have those consequences.
00:01:17.200 But a lot of times, I do think certain cultures don't have that same energy when it comes to women.
00:01:24.080 And that might be why.
00:01:25.160 Yeah, I just think self-awareness, isn't it?
00:01:29.500 I feel like, as a man, you're forced to have that.
00:01:32.320 Do you know what I mean?
00:01:33.180 From early days, when you're in the playground, you know what I'm saying?
00:01:35.700 If you're fat, you're the goalkeeper.
00:01:37.460 It just is what it is.
00:01:40.340 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:01:41.040 Like, you get picked last.
00:01:42.100 If you're not the guy, no one complains.
00:01:43.740 Like, everyone kind of knows.
00:01:45.480 Like, there's always, there's an accountability, there's a hierarchy amongst men.
00:01:49.540 Like, we just know from early, like, where we kind of fit in, isn't it?
00:01:52.240 Like, we live in a world where we get shown and told where we are all the time and what we are, isn't it?
00:01:59.020 And I just feel like, for women, there isn't really that.
00:02:01.520 But I think their friends just lie to them too much.
00:02:04.580 Leading on from that as well, I think it's self-awareness.
00:02:07.620 If you're a man and you're short, fat and you're broke, the world will tell you.
00:02:11.880 As soon as you enter the dating marketplace or you enter the world on what your status is.
00:02:15.800 Whereas a woman, if you're overweight, you'll probably have a body positivity group say that it's the right way to be. 1.00
00:02:21.740 So, I think there's a lot of ways to mummy-coddle women where men aren't afforded that luxury. 0.89
00:02:28.620 Well, to emulate what the man them said, yeah, men are forced to have to live in reality from young.
00:02:34.860 Girls growing up are just never told no. 1.00
00:02:37.200 So, they grew up with this idea that, you know, the world kind of revolves around them.
00:02:40.520 So, that's why I mentioned that, you know, men have to create their value throughout life.
00:02:45.020 Women are given their value. 1.00
00:02:47.360 So, with that, you're afforded two different mentalities as you're growing up and going through life.
00:02:51.080 And that allows women to operate from this facade of what the reality shows. 1.00
00:02:56.800 So, when anything goes against that kind of cognitive dissonance, there's a compativeness to what's there.
00:03:02.940 So, question for the women. 0.99
00:03:06.140 Is it just me?
00:03:07.900 Is this just something that I see where women don't take as much accountability as men do? 0.98
00:03:14.560 Or have you seen that in real life?
00:03:16.320 Like, do you agree?
00:03:16.940 Do you disagree?
00:03:18.540 You can start.
00:03:19.440 Okay.
00:03:19.760 I kind of partially agree.
00:03:21.240 But, at the same time, there was something that the last guy said that just triggered something in me.
00:03:28.600 Like, that's just not true.
00:03:30.460 Like, I think women do take accountability and they are shaped from young as well. 0.98
00:03:36.580 The levels of accountability are very different.
00:03:39.520 And I definitely agree.
00:03:40.760 The fantasy spin, I think, is very feminine.
00:03:46.420 And the kind of, like, I'm going to reshape reality, I think that is a feminine trait. 1.00
00:03:52.360 But that doesn't mean that both sexes don't have an issue with accountability. 1.00
00:03:57.960 I absolutely think that there is an issue with accountability in society for all sexes at this moment.
00:04:04.120 Where do you see that men don't take accountability?
00:04:06.400 I think men don't take accountability for the status and actual kind of weight that they have put on themselves and they complain about it.
00:04:18.620 Like, it's women that have kind of put this weight on their shoulders and how they should shape their reality is, like, because of women. 1.00
00:04:26.440 And women don't have that same pressure. 1.00
00:04:28.680 I think they've done that to themselves.
00:04:30.600 Can I have a specific example?
00:04:32.020 I'm just, I don't understand what you're talking about.
00:04:33.740 I'm just being like, okay, so the role of being the breadwinner or the one that has to provide everything, I think that is men that have put that on themselves.
00:04:43.320 I don't think that has anything to do with women. 0.95
00:04:45.300 You don't think that has anything to do with women when women want a guy that makes at least 30% more than them?
00:04:52.000 No, I don't think there are that many women that think like that. 1.00
00:04:55.560 No, no, it's if you survey women and ask them, they want a man that makes at least 30% more than that. 1.00
00:05:00.820 And if a woman, one of the number one indicators of divorce is if a woman out-earns the man. 0.99
00:05:06.200 This is the facade of the story.
00:05:07.140 And would that not come from men?
00:05:08.120 A hundred.
00:05:08.660 What?
00:05:09.000 Would they not be the ones that are not comfortable with that?
00:05:10.740 No, no, because the women initiate divorce. 1.00
00:05:13.580 So women leave 70 to 80%.
00:05:15.060 Not always.
00:05:15.400 No, no, 70 to 80% of the time women leave and 90% if they're college educated. 0.50
00:05:20.000 So the higher up a woman goes in terms of income and status, the more likely she leaves. 1.00
00:05:25.200 Okay.
00:05:25.840 Now you're saying she's leaving because she's earning more. 0.97
00:05:29.400 And no, I'm saying that she may be like, I'm not satisfied in this relationship because he has an issue with me earning more.
00:05:37.700 And I don't want to stay in this dynamic.
00:05:39.820 So from what I've seen in the guys, you can maybe correct.
00:05:43.140 Like you can tell me what you've seen because you guys, you know, I see the girls side.
00:05:46.900 So I found when girls move up in making money, they're around more men that make more money than them. 1.00
00:05:54.680 So I think on some level, they kind of wish they were with the men they were working with rather than their husbands.
00:06:01.760 And so they kind of see what they're not getting.
00:06:04.920 And then they leave.
00:06:06.700 I can see that in some circumstances.
00:06:09.200 But I actually think the troubles in a house when a woman is earning more isn't necessarily about that dynamic.
00:06:15.380 This goes back to a woman's nature. 1.00
00:06:18.760 So we all heard the term hypergamy.
00:06:20.700 So women are married for crossing up social hierarchies. 1.00
00:06:23.180 So naturally, women are programmed to always get the best that they can get. 1.00
00:06:26.840 So at the time when she got married to a man, that might have been the best that she could get at the time.
00:06:30.840 But as she elevates herself past him, then she's in a new tax bracket with new men who are at a higher level.
00:06:36.260 Therefore, that hypergamous nature starts to kick in again and says, I can do better than what I currently have. 0.96
00:06:40.880 But we're neglecting that the man in this situation is also contributing to the dynamic of that relationship.
00:06:46.860 But there's contributing and there's acting on it.
00:06:49.220 So a man wouldn't divorce a woman necessarily because she earns more than him.
00:06:53.040 But it may be hell.
00:06:54.320 A woman would divorce a man because she earns more than him. 1.00
00:06:55.340 But it may be hell in that.
00:06:57.140 And this is the part that nobody is going into.
00:06:59.940 So should she stay in a house where it's hellish?
00:07:04.100 Because to have a man... 0.99
00:07:05.380 Hold on, where are we going?
00:07:06.340 Because I just feel like the goalposts just got moved to the touchline.
00:07:10.680 It tends to be that if a man's earning less than his wife, he tends to be more passive.
00:07:14.480 So what are the chances that he would actually be raising hell in the house?
00:07:18.060 And you also have to think about this logically as well.
00:07:20.100 If we're talking about such a higher percentage figure of 70% of women leave,
00:07:23.960 the more higher educated, the more money they make.
00:07:26.080 You can't then argue logically that most of those situations,
00:07:29.180 the man's giving her hell.
00:07:30.600 She's doing better for herself.
00:07:31.940 Why is there not surveys on actually the reasons why?
00:07:35.840 The dominant reason for one is financial and the second is infidelity.
00:07:38.720 So women leave for financial reasons. 1.00
00:07:41.420 And women and men cheat at similar rates.
00:07:44.580 It's like 23, 26%.
00:07:45.860 So the financial reasons that are cited,
00:07:47.800 could that not literally be that we had disharmony in our house because I was earning more?
00:07:52.660 But this is the thing though, because...
00:07:54.320 Or what type of financial reasons are you talking about?
00:07:56.600 The finances aren't enough.
00:07:59.180 So she has to leave and find better. 0.67
00:08:00.860 Because a lot of times women don't like to have to do more work in terms of paying for bills. 1.00
00:08:07.040 But what...
00:08:07.480 So the initial question was you said men aren't held accountable and they put that on themselves.
00:08:11.680 But what I'm saying is I think the data indicates that men are held accountable for this
00:08:16.660 because if your woman now earns you, she's out the door. 1.00
00:08:18.860 So men have to deal with a consequence quick. 0.56
00:08:23.440 Where women... 1.00
00:08:24.600 Where if a woman gains a bunch of weight in a marriage, which to me is like similar to the equivalent, 0.98
00:08:29.560 like usually the men don't leave.
00:08:31.640 I go, what?
00:08:31.960 Let's speak on that.
00:08:33.060 What you're saying?
00:08:33.940 If a woman puts on weight, it's the same as if she earns more. 1.00
00:08:37.100 No, I'm saying like, I think that the equivalent of a woman, a woman gaining a hundred pounds 1.00
00:08:41.880 is like a man losing a job and refusing to work.
00:08:44.340 I would say it's similar.
00:08:45.440 So in form of attraction?
00:08:46.900 Instead of what we're attracted to.
00:08:49.860 Okay.
00:08:50.400 Because we're women are attracted to money and status, whereas men, they're visual creatures. 1.00
00:08:55.580 Yeah.
00:08:56.340 Okay.
00:08:56.840 So if you take the visual aspect away from it, then that's when they start cheating with the secretary
00:09:01.680 and it gets all hectic.
00:09:02.400 I can kind of see where that's going.
00:09:05.220 I half kind of agree with that.
00:09:07.340 So what I'm saying is, is women don't seem to fit... 1.00
00:09:10.360 Like, I don't know a lot of men in real time that are leaving their woman because she gained
00:09:14.840 weight, but I do know a lot of women that out earn their boyfriends or their husbands 1.00
00:09:19.620 and leave.
00:09:20.520 So what I'm saying is women don't face the consequence and then men do. 0.99
00:09:25.880 No, I totally disagree with that.
00:09:27.740 I can't see how this even makes sense.
00:09:29.540 Because it's frowned upon when men do certain things.
00:09:32.280 So, you know, if I leave my wife because she's fat, everyone is going to hate on me.
00:09:36.460 Yeah, you'll get shamed for it, bro.
00:09:37.620 But people do that all the time.
00:09:39.300 Bruv, you'll get shamed for it.
00:09:40.240 You can't even call women fat now, but they can call you short, though. 0.64
00:09:44.360 You know, that's what I'm saying.
00:09:45.900 But this is just how it is.
00:09:47.600 You have to remember as well, we're not talking anecdotal.
00:09:49.740 We're talking statistical data to prove what's going on.
00:09:53.440 Listen, statistics are the same thing as an anecdote.
00:09:56.480 You have to collect the data points.
00:09:59.540 And that is through sight.
00:10:00.780 The person has to actually be collating the data.
00:10:03.640 So they're going to go and get the data.
00:10:05.340 But the problem with this thinking is then it's just whatever.
00:10:10.600 And I hear this a lot from women where it's like, we can't trust the data. 0.99
00:10:14.340 But then what do we trust?
00:10:15.180 We just need to know where the data has come from.
00:10:17.880 You need to know the sample.
00:10:18.940 You need to know the sample.
00:10:20.080 People do that when it's convenient for them.
00:10:22.680 Because I'm sure when there's a cause that you feel for and the data is enforcing what you think, then you wouldn't say it.
00:10:30.000 If you want to question individual studies, fine.
00:10:32.760 If you want to go in and maybe inspect the data more, fine.
00:10:35.760 I say everyone has the right to do that.
00:10:39.000 But with the divorce statistics, it's pretty cut.