Pearl SCHOOLS Bitter Feminist
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
200.93459
Summary
Why do women always take the blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives? Why do men always take responsibility for their actions? Why is it that women always point the finger when things go wrong? And why do they complain about it?
Transcript
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So, today's topic is something that I have seen on this podcast and just in my day-to-day life.
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And that is the victim mindset and victim mentality of modern women.
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So, the example I use of this is something that's happened a couple times in this podcast.
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I've had men and women both go viral on this podcast for the wrong reasons, okay?
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And what happens is the men, I never hear from.
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But the women will come to me and start blaming me for their bad behavior on the podcast and for going viral for the wrong reasons.
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Why do men take accountability for their actions where women always seem to point the finger?
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But I think that there is, from a young age, as a boy, man, you're somewhat held accountable from then.
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You know, so if you do something wrong, especially I'm Nigerian.
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So, if you did something wrong, you'll hear from your dad when he comes home.
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So, you know, you're told very early on your actions have consequences.
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And so you need to make sure that you don't do the wrong things in order to not have those consequences.
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But a lot of times, I do think certain cultures don't have that same energy when it comes to women.
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I feel like, as a man, you're forced to have that.
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From early days, when you're in the playground, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, there's always, there's an accountability, there's a hierarchy amongst men.
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Like, we just know from early, like, where we kind of fit in, isn't it?
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Like, we live in a world where we get shown and told where we are all the time and what we are, isn't it?
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And I just feel like, for women, there isn't really that.
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But I think their friends just lie to them too much.
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Leading on from that as well, I think it's self-awareness.
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If you're a man and you're short, fat and you're broke, the world will tell you.
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As soon as you enter the dating marketplace or you enter the world on what your status is.
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Whereas a woman, if you're overweight, you'll probably have a body positivity group say that it's the right way to be.
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So, I think there's a lot of ways to mummy-coddle women where men aren't afforded that luxury.
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Well, to emulate what the man them said, yeah, men are forced to have to live in reality from young.
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So, they grew up with this idea that, you know, the world kind of revolves around them.
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So, that's why I mentioned that, you know, men have to create their value throughout life.
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So, with that, you're afforded two different mentalities as you're growing up and going through life.
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And that allows women to operate from this facade of what the reality shows.
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So, when anything goes against that kind of cognitive dissonance, there's a compativeness to what's there.
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Is this just something that I see where women don't take as much accountability as men do?
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But, at the same time, there was something that the last guy said that just triggered something in me.
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Like, I think women do take accountability and they are shaped from young as well.
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The levels of accountability are very different.
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And the kind of, like, I'm going to reshape reality, I think that is a feminine trait.
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But that doesn't mean that both sexes don't have an issue with accountability.
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I absolutely think that there is an issue with accountability in society for all sexes at this moment.
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Where do you see that men don't take accountability?
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I think men don't take accountability for the status and actual kind of weight that they have put on themselves and they complain about it.
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Like, it's women that have kind of put this weight on their shoulders and how they should shape their reality is, like, because of women.
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I'm just, I don't understand what you're talking about.
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I'm just being like, okay, so the role of being the breadwinner or the one that has to provide everything, I think that is men that have put that on themselves.
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I don't think that has anything to do with women.
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You don't think that has anything to do with women when women want a guy that makes at least 30% more than them?
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No, I don't think there are that many women that think like that.
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No, no, it's if you survey women and ask them, they want a man that makes at least 30% more than that.
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And if a woman, one of the number one indicators of divorce is if a woman out-earns the man.
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Would they not be the ones that are not comfortable with that?
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No, no, 70 to 80% of the time women leave and 90% if they're college educated.
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So the higher up a woman goes in terms of income and status, the more likely she leaves.
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Now you're saying she's leaving because she's earning more.
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And no, I'm saying that she may be like, I'm not satisfied in this relationship because he has an issue with me earning more.
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So from what I've seen in the guys, you can maybe correct.
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Like you can tell me what you've seen because you guys, you know, I see the girls side.
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So I found when girls move up in making money, they're around more men that make more money than them.
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So I think on some level, they kind of wish they were with the men they were working with rather than their husbands.
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And so they kind of see what they're not getting.
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But I actually think the troubles in a house when a woman is earning more isn't necessarily about that dynamic.
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So women are married for crossing up social hierarchies.
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So naturally, women are programmed to always get the best that they can get.
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So at the time when she got married to a man, that might have been the best that she could get at the time.
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But as she elevates herself past him, then she's in a new tax bracket with new men who are at a higher level.
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Therefore, that hypergamous nature starts to kick in again and says, I can do better than what I currently have.
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But we're neglecting that the man in this situation is also contributing to the dynamic of that relationship.
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But there's contributing and there's acting on it.
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So a man wouldn't divorce a woman necessarily because she earns more than him.
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A woman would divorce a man because she earns more than him.
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And this is the part that nobody is going into.
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So should she stay in a house where it's hellish?
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Because I just feel like the goalposts just got moved to the touchline.
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It tends to be that if a man's earning less than his wife, he tends to be more passive.
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So what are the chances that he would actually be raising hell in the house?
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And you also have to think about this logically as well.
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If we're talking about such a higher percentage figure of 70% of women leave,
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the more higher educated, the more money they make.
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You can't then argue logically that most of those situations,
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Why is there not surveys on actually the reasons why?
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The dominant reason for one is financial and the second is infidelity.
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could that not literally be that we had disharmony in our house because I was earning more?
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Or what type of financial reasons are you talking about?
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Because a lot of times women don't like to have to do more work in terms of paying for bills.
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So the initial question was you said men aren't held accountable and they put that on themselves.
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But what I'm saying is I think the data indicates that men are held accountable for this
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because if your woman now earns you, she's out the door.
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Where if a woman gains a bunch of weight in a marriage, which to me is like similar to the equivalent,
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If a woman puts on weight, it's the same as if she earns more.
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No, I'm saying like, I think that the equivalent of a woman, a woman gaining a hundred pounds
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is like a man losing a job and refusing to work.
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Because we're women are attracted to money and status, whereas men, they're visual creatures.
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So if you take the visual aspect away from it, then that's when they start cheating with the secretary
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So what I'm saying is, is women don't seem to fit...
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Like, I don't know a lot of men in real time that are leaving their woman because she gained
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weight, but I do know a lot of women that out earn their boyfriends or their husbands
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So what I'm saying is women don't face the consequence and then men do.
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Because it's frowned upon when men do certain things.
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So, you know, if I leave my wife because she's fat, everyone is going to hate on me.
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You can't even call women fat now, but they can call you short, though.
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You have to remember as well, we're not talking anecdotal.
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We're talking statistical data to prove what's going on.
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Listen, statistics are the same thing as an anecdote.
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The person has to actually be collating the data.
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But the problem with this thinking is then it's just whatever.
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And I hear this a lot from women where it's like, we can't trust the data.
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We just need to know where the data has come from.
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Because I'm sure when there's a cause that you feel for and the data is enforcing what you think, then you wouldn't say it.
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If you want to question individual studies, fine.
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If you want to go in and maybe inspect the data more, fine.
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But with the divorce statistics, it's pretty cut.