JustPearlyThings - May 07, 2023


Pearl SCHOOLS Modern Woman On The Wall


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

222.68983

Word Count

2,046

Sentence Count

149

Misogynist Sentences

12

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

In this episode, we have our first guest on the show, my good friend and social media influencer, Courtney. We talk about sex, relationships and what it's like being single in your 20s and 30s. We also talk about what it means to be single and why it's important to have a partner.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 There's a lot of women out there that have huge personalities
00:00:02.220 and have the looks and everything as well.
00:00:04.740 It's not just about looks.
00:00:05.940 Yeah, of course, I agree with what you're saying.
00:00:08.240 But a lot of girls do still have that power
00:00:10.720 and that personality as well as their looks.
00:00:13.640 But they don't show that on social media 99%.
00:00:16.040 They don't have to, no.
00:00:17.440 They don't.
00:00:18.380 And that's a privilege, right?
00:00:19.720 It is great.
00:00:22.640 Sorry, I'll let you.
00:00:24.420 No, I was just going to say it is good
00:00:25.840 because for me personally,
00:00:27.520 I'll just post a picture and get loads of, loads of likes.
00:00:31.020 I don't have to use my personality, but I could.
00:00:33.960 I feel like you're doing your captions though.
00:00:36.380 I feel like you're definitely doing your captions.
00:00:38.220 Nobody's reading the captions.
00:00:39.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:00:40.280 True.
00:00:40.720 Nobody's reading the captions.
00:00:41.720 What percent of your followers are men versus women?
00:00:44.460 I think mine's 90% men.
00:00:46.700 Yeah, that's how true.
00:00:47.620 It is a high percentage, yeah.
00:00:49.700 I'm curious, like going back to the virginity thing,
00:00:53.520 if you guys could go back in time,
00:00:55.160 would you wait until you were married to have sex?
00:00:57.080 Yes.
00:00:57.940 Yeah, you would?
00:00:58.840 100%.
00:00:59.240 Yes, Courtney, Bob.
00:01:01.400 Yes, Bob.
00:01:01.980 I would too, I would.
00:01:03.560 Yeah, 100%.
00:01:04.340 Do you know what?
00:01:07.400 I don't know because I feel like every relationship
00:01:10.380 that I've been in, I've learned something from.
00:01:13.160 So it's like if I said I'd go back and change it
00:01:16.040 and not do it, then I wouldn't have learned the things
00:01:19.140 that I would have moving forward.
00:01:20.820 So I don't know.
00:01:22.080 It's almost like saying I'm just going to eliminate
00:01:24.460 experiences that I've had.
00:01:25.660 Yeah, but if they ended badly,
00:01:28.060 like what value does like sexual experience
00:01:30.660 bring to you now?
00:01:32.720 Like what, you know, if you're going to,
00:01:34.100 let's say you meet your husband tomorrow
00:01:35.340 and you're going into a marriage
00:01:36.440 and you could have just slept with him
00:01:37.980 or slept with him and all these other guys.
00:01:40.560 Like, don't you think it would be better
00:01:41.800 to just sleep with him?
00:01:43.100 I understand what you're saying
00:01:43.980 because obviously when you get married,
00:01:45.220 the love that you have for that person
00:01:46.480 and other people that you've been in a relationship
00:01:47.780 is definitely different
00:01:48.720 because you're married
00:01:49.620 and you've got to build a life with them.
00:01:51.380 So I think when I get to that,
00:01:52.840 I'll probably be like,
00:01:54.000 oh, do you know what?
00:01:54.500 I wish I would have waited.
00:01:55.580 But now I haven't,
00:01:57.500 I'm not trying to settle down.
00:01:59.100 I'm not in that time of my life.
00:02:00.720 So my perspective is going to be different.
00:02:02.720 What age would you like to settle down?
00:02:05.320 If I'm completely honest,
00:02:06.260 it's all about when my career is,
00:02:08.780 is if when I'm happy with where I am in my life,
00:02:10.880 if that makes sense.
00:02:11.560 Because I wouldn't want to settle down
00:02:12.840 not having achieved everything
00:02:14.400 that I want to achieve on myself
00:02:16.320 because I'm kind of quite selfish in that.
00:02:17.900 I want to be very successful,
00:02:19.420 do a lot, have tons of businesses.
00:02:20.800 So I think,
00:02:21.660 say if I blew up
00:02:22.860 and I had all this success
00:02:24.320 by the time I was 27,
00:02:26.400 then cool.
00:02:27.140 I'll look for when I'm 27.
00:02:28.860 But it depends on where I am financially
00:02:31.800 and stuff like that, to be honest.
00:02:33.400 What value does your career bring to a guy?
00:02:37.420 Well, music,
00:02:38.700 I want to inspire people
00:02:39.940 and motivate people
00:02:40.900 and I want to make a change.
00:02:42.180 I want to...
00:02:42.660 Yeah, but men don't care.
00:02:44.180 True.
00:02:44.820 He's like,
00:02:45.180 oh, I'm looking for a girl
00:02:45.980 to inspire and motivate.
00:02:47.180 You know what I mean?
00:02:47.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:48.280 100%.
00:02:48.800 I think...
00:02:49.800 It's like,
00:02:50.140 you're young now,
00:02:50.860 you're pretty now,
00:02:51.880 but you're going to be less pretty
00:02:53.180 and less young in 10 years,
00:02:54.960 in five years.
00:02:55.600 So why would you not look for that
00:02:56.780 when you're younger?
00:02:58.600 I mean,
00:02:59.200 I look quite young now.
00:03:00.640 So maybe when I'm older,
00:03:01.720 I'll still look young.
00:03:02.720 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:04.280 But I just know
00:03:05.760 what I want out of life.
00:03:06.860 Yes,
00:03:07.240 I do want a family.
00:03:09.100 For me,
00:03:09.400 that's very important
00:03:10.100 because I don't have any siblings
00:03:11.100 and all my family members
00:03:12.300 are very far spread out
00:03:13.980 across the world.
00:03:14.660 So for me,
00:03:15.300 I need that security.
00:03:17.260 So just a stat for you guys.
00:03:18.940 Did you know if you hit 30
00:03:20.020 and you're still single,
00:03:22.140 you drop to a less than 50% chance
00:03:24.980 of you being able to have a kid?
00:03:26.960 Meaning that if you're still single,
00:03:28.460 you're more likely
00:03:29.020 to not have a kid
00:03:29.800 than have one.
00:03:32.020 And so it's like,
00:03:32.560 knowing that,
00:03:33.620 you wouldn't want...
00:03:34.780 Because you know,
00:03:35.360 you're 24 now, right?
00:03:36.920 Yeah.
00:03:37.180 Let's say you date a guy tomorrow
00:03:38.240 and you date him for three years
00:03:39.240 and it doesn't work out.
00:03:40.380 Yeah.
00:03:40.700 It's like then,
00:03:41.640 now you're a bit older
00:03:43.100 and you have to keep...
00:03:44.420 Yeah.
00:03:45.020 I do think everything happens
00:03:46.160 for a reason though,
00:03:47.100 if I'm completely honest.
00:03:48.060 Like I could turn 30
00:03:49.540 and find my dream guy
00:03:50.520 the next day.
00:03:52.060 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:52.560 And then build a relationship
00:03:53.560 with him.
00:03:53.820 You could,
00:03:54.260 but the odds aren't
00:03:55.500 in your favor.
00:03:56.320 Yeah.
00:03:56.500 And the number...
00:03:57.040 And that's what I'm saying.
00:03:58.180 Like,
00:03:58.520 I think a lot of times
00:03:59.340 society tells us
00:04:00.340 to go after a career first
00:04:01.880 when it would be
00:04:02.840 a lot easier
00:04:03.480 if we were married
00:04:04.720 because you could have
00:04:05.260 the same experiences.
00:04:06.320 You could just have them
00:04:06.960 with your husband.
00:04:08.520 Very true.
00:04:09.200 But then,
00:04:09.780 what if he then wanted
00:04:10.800 to have kids with you
00:04:11.540 straight away?
00:04:12.440 Then you'd have to sacrifice that.
00:04:14.200 Do you want to be a mother?
00:04:15.200 Oh yeah.
00:04:15.600 I want like five kids.
00:04:17.120 You know,
00:04:17.600 90% of your eggs
00:04:18.640 are gone by 30.
00:04:21.180 So wait,
00:04:21.720 wait too long.
00:04:22.400 You can't have five.
00:04:24.320 Yeah.
00:04:24.880 Do you know
00:04:25.640 when geriatric pregnancy starts?
00:04:27.200 Any of you?
00:04:27.760 34.
00:04:28.220 What's geriatric?
00:04:29.000 I know you know the answer.
00:04:30.840 I was going for them.
00:04:32.320 What is geriatric?
00:04:33.440 So geriatric pregnancy
00:04:34.620 is like high-risk pregnancy.
00:04:36.080 Do you know when that starts?
00:04:37.680 I'd probably say 30,
00:04:39.420 30 plus.
00:04:40.140 Wait, no.
00:04:40.440 It's 40, right?
00:04:41.520 No.
00:04:42.140 Wrong.
00:04:42.340 You just said it.
00:04:43.140 28.
00:04:44.460 28.
00:04:44.920 It's 35.
00:04:46.300 Really?
00:04:46.860 Yeah,
00:04:46.980 so high-risk pregnancy
00:04:47.880 starts at 35.
00:04:49.000 What's a high-risk pregnancy?
00:04:49.260 And IVF,
00:04:50.060 it's actually most likely
00:04:50.960 that it won't work out.
00:04:52.040 Complications, I think.
00:04:52.860 I'm IVF.
00:04:53.680 What?
00:04:54.160 I'm IVF.
00:04:55.080 I'm an IVF baby.
00:04:55.940 My parents started
00:04:57.660 trying to have a kid
00:04:59.080 at 34, I think,
00:05:00.160 but I think they had
00:05:00.840 complications anyway.
00:05:01.640 Yeah, no,
00:05:02.080 and they're lucky
00:05:02.600 that you,
00:05:03.360 they're lucky,
00:05:04.340 but that's not the norm.
00:05:05.300 Like,
00:05:05.440 the majority of IVF
00:05:06.400 doesn't work out.
00:05:07.320 Yeah,
00:05:08.400 and there's complications
00:05:09.320 as well,
00:05:09.880 so yeah.
00:05:10.480 But we can do stuff
00:05:11.380 like freeze our eggs
00:05:12.560 and stuff like that.
00:05:13.760 I know that,
00:05:14.420 again,
00:05:14.620 it's not 100%,
00:05:16.100 but like you said.
00:05:17.800 No,
00:05:17.920 but even,
00:05:18.940 like the odds aren't,
00:05:19.800 if you're over,
00:05:21.040 it's like,
00:05:21.420 it's a less than 50% chance
00:05:23.200 that that works out,
00:05:24.760 that you actually even
00:05:25.420 conceived the kid.
00:05:27.060 So it's like,
00:05:27.460 they kind of lie to us
00:05:28.360 because they tell us
00:05:29.780 we have all these options
00:05:30.680 when we don't,
00:05:31.680 when half of your options
00:05:32.720 are also gone by 30.
00:05:34.200 So the number of options
00:05:35.220 you have at 20,
00:05:35.880 by the time you get to 30,
00:05:36.960 half of them are gone.
00:05:37.900 Don't you think
00:05:38.280 it's a lot of pressure
00:05:38.980 on a woman?
00:05:39.720 Yeah,
00:05:40.040 it is.
00:05:40.320 It's actually quite sad,
00:05:41.340 like,
00:05:41.640 even this conversation
00:05:42.480 has opened my eyes.
00:05:43.780 Makes you realise.
00:05:44.740 You're being told,
00:05:45.740 some people are saying
00:05:46.600 that women shouldn't
00:05:48.000 have a career,
00:05:48.520 they should focus
00:05:49.040 on their marriage
00:05:49.600 and care about their husband
00:05:50.500 and their children.
00:05:51.920 Other people want
00:05:52.920 to not have housewives
00:05:54.080 and want their woman
00:05:54.760 to have a career,
00:05:55.840 but then we have the pressure
00:05:57.380 of not being able
00:05:57.920 to have kids
00:05:58.640 at a certain age.
00:06:00.340 There's just,
00:06:00.820 there's so much for women
00:06:01.640 to kind of squeeze in.
00:06:03.380 Yeah,
00:06:03.440 it could be overwhelming.
00:06:04.520 It's quite overwhelming.
00:06:05.820 Well,
00:06:06.160 that's the thing,
00:06:06.620 you can't have everything,
00:06:07.680 but it's like,
00:06:08.040 what outcomes do you want?
00:06:09.360 Priorities.
00:06:10.480 Yeah,
00:06:10.720 what outcomes
00:06:11.840 would make you happy?
00:06:12.920 Everyone has
00:06:13.400 different priorities,
00:06:14.140 don't they?
00:06:14.440 Right,
00:06:14.940 and so it's kind of
00:06:16.040 a trade-off
00:06:16.600 because,
00:06:16.940 you know,
00:06:17.260 women over the age
00:06:18.160 of 45
00:06:18.600 that are still single
00:06:19.600 and childless,
00:06:20.380 like,
00:06:20.540 they're on drugs.
00:06:21.360 They're on drugs
00:06:21.960 at a higher rate
00:06:22.560 than any other group
00:06:23.480 and they're more depressed
00:06:24.860 than any other group
00:06:25.640 and they don't tell us
00:06:26.940 that we're really
00:06:27.340 on a time clock
00:06:28.280 and they don't really
00:06:30.280 warn us about that
00:06:31.420 and you just,
00:06:32.680 you can't have everything
00:06:33.540 and so it's the question
00:06:34.580 of like,
00:06:34.920 what outcome do you want?
00:06:36.300 Personally,
00:06:36.800 for me,
00:06:37.220 I've had this conversation
00:06:38.160 with myself
00:06:38.540 a fair few years ago
00:06:39.760 actually.
00:06:41.100 I want the fame
00:06:42.720 and fortune
00:06:43.240 and to have a career
00:06:44.100 but I need a family
00:06:45.460 for my mental health
00:06:46.760 so if I had a pill,
00:06:48.580 one of them was
00:06:49.040 to have a family
00:06:49.520 and one of them
00:06:49.860 was to be famous,
00:06:50.880 I would have a family
00:06:51.720 because that's what I need.
00:06:53.180 Right,
00:06:53.460 so why wouldn't you
00:06:54.500 prioritize that now
00:06:55.700 knowing that the quality
00:06:57.340 of guy you're going to get
00:06:58.240 is only going to get worse.
00:06:59.880 Like right now,
00:07:00.620 you're the most attractive
00:07:01.780 you're ever going to be.
00:07:02.920 You know,
00:07:03.060 it'd be one thing
00:07:03.560 if you were fat
00:07:04.200 and then you could lose weight
00:07:05.180 and get up,
00:07:05.700 but you're in shape,
00:07:06.460 right?
00:07:06.900 Thank you.
00:07:07.820 Do you know what I mean?
00:07:08.760 Because they'll always
00:07:09.440 give me this exception
00:07:10.460 because if you're fat,
00:07:12.340 duh,
00:07:13.020 but you're in good shape
00:07:14.580 so it's like
00:07:15.040 this is the highest quality guy
00:07:16.700 you're ever going to be able to get
00:07:17.860 and it's only going to get worse.
00:07:20.020 I hear that
00:07:20.480 but for me to raise a family
00:07:22.340 the way I want to raise it,
00:07:23.400 I want to have money.
00:07:24.340 That's not for me
00:07:25.000 to go spoil my kids
00:07:26.020 because I think
00:07:27.280 raising kids spoil
00:07:28.500 doesn't teach them anything
00:07:29.900 but I would want them
00:07:31.260 to not struggle
00:07:32.120 the way that I've struggled.
00:07:33.040 Could you marry a guy with money?
00:07:35.000 Would I marry a guy with money?
00:07:36.060 Of course, yeah.
00:07:36.820 Yeah, so why don't you just do that?
00:07:38.160 Because
00:07:38.460 You could,
00:07:39.040 you're pretty enough.
00:07:40.180 I mean, thank you.
00:07:40.920 I could do
00:07:41.420 but I wouldn't be fulfilled
00:07:43.200 and I think in life
00:07:44.980 it's all about fulfilling
00:07:46.360 your own hopes and dreams
00:07:47.800 and stuff like that.
00:07:48.700 So what is it?
00:07:49.280 Like this dream,
00:07:50.060 this world doesn't sound real to me
00:07:51.700 and this has come,
00:07:52.440 I come from like
00:07:53.040 my dad's a top like 1% earner.
00:07:54.740 He's very, very successful
00:07:55.760 and like I grew up around
00:07:56.680 successful people
00:07:57.520 but this doesn't sound real
00:07:59.540 where
00:07:59.960 because where the mom
00:08:01.280 has this successful career
00:08:02.840 and the dad also has
00:08:04.720 this successful career
00:08:05.860 and they also have kids,
00:08:07.880 they also have five kids.
00:08:09.160 Like something's got to give.
00:08:10.420 You literally can't do everything
00:08:11.840 or you're paying a nanny
00:08:13.280 to raise your kid.
00:08:14.400 I mean, to be fair,
00:08:15.660 I'm not going to lie,
00:08:16.160 if I had money
00:08:16.980 and I was a businesswoman
00:08:18.400 and I was busy,
00:08:19.180 I would have help.
00:08:20.560 If I could afford it,
00:08:21.300 I genuinely would have help
00:08:22.280 and that's not me saying
00:08:23.460 I can't be bothered
00:08:24.060 to look after my children.
00:08:25.240 It is.
00:08:25.640 Of course,
00:08:26.020 but I would be there
00:08:27.200 for the important parts though.
00:08:28.640 Say if I had...
00:08:29.340 It's not the same.
00:08:30.060 I do understand
00:08:31.840 where you're coming from
00:08:32.540 but that would be the sacrifice
00:08:33.540 that I would take
00:08:34.420 and I would want my kids
00:08:35.440 to see a working mom as well.
00:08:36.640 Right, but that's the problem.
00:08:37.760 That's the modern mindset.
00:08:38.900 It's about my career
00:08:39.720 and me before the family
00:08:41.020 and I think that's like
00:08:41.940 what is so broken down nowadays
00:08:43.660 is that we all care about
00:08:45.080 ourselves before the family
00:08:46.940 and to have a family
00:08:48.060 that's successful,
00:08:48.960 you have to be selfless.
00:08:50.700 You know,
00:08:50.880 our grandmothers
00:08:51.460 and our great-grandmothers
00:08:52.320 didn't stay with our husbands
00:08:53.340 by thinking about themselves.
00:08:55.100 As many of you know,
00:08:56.140 I was just banned on TikTok
00:08:58.180 and we are demonetized
00:08:59.900 on a daily basis
00:09:01.140 on this platform.
00:09:02.960 If you want to help,
00:09:04.440 please consider sending
00:09:05.560 a super thanks below.
00:09:07.500 Every donation helps
00:09:08.800 and it helps make
00:09:09.640 what we do possible.