JustPearlyThings - Pearl SCHOOLS Modern Woman On The Wall

00:00:00.000 There's a lot of women out there that have huge personalities 1.00

00:00:02.220 and have the looks and everything as well.

00:00:04.740 It's not just about looks.

00:00:05.940 Yeah, of course, I agree with what you're saying.

00:00:08.240 But a lot of girls do still have that power 1.00

00:00:10.720 and that personality as well as their looks.

00:00:13.640 But they don't show that on social media 99%.

00:00:16.040 They don't have to, no.

00:00:17.440 They don't.

00:00:18.380 And that's a privilege, right?

00:00:19.720 It is great.

00:00:22.640 Sorry, I'll let you.

00:00:24.420 No, I was just going to say it is good

00:00:25.840 because for me personally,

00:00:27.520 I'll just post a picture and get loads of, loads of likes.

00:00:31.020 I don't have to use my personality, but I could.

00:00:33.960 I feel like you're doing your captions though.

00:00:36.380 I feel like you're definitely doing your captions.

00:00:38.220 Nobody's reading the captions.

00:00:39.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:40.280 True.

00:00:40.720 Nobody's reading the captions.

00:00:41.720 What percent of your followers are men versus women?

00:00:44.460 I think mine's 90% men.

00:00:46.700 Yeah, that's how true.

00:00:47.620 It is a high percentage, yeah.

00:00:49.700 I'm curious, like going back to the virginity thing,

00:00:53.520 if you guys could go back in time, 0.89

00:00:55.160 would you wait until you were married to have sex? 1.00

00:00:57.080 Yes. 0.93

00:00:57.940 Yeah, you would?

00:00:58.840 100%.

00:00:59.240 Yes, Courtney, Bob.

00:01:01.400 Yes, Bob.

00:01:01.980 I would too, I would.

00:01:03.560 Yeah, 100%.

00:01:04.340 Do you know what?

00:01:07.400 I don't know because I feel like every relationship

00:01:10.380 that I've been in, I've learned something from.

00:01:13.160 So it's like if I said I'd go back and change it

00:01:16.040 and not do it, then I wouldn't have learned the things

00:01:19.140 that I would have moving forward.

00:01:20.820 So I don't know.

00:01:22.080 It's almost like saying I'm just going to eliminate

00:01:24.460 experiences that I've had.

00:01:25.660 Yeah, but if they ended badly,

00:01:28.060 like what value does like sexual experience

00:01:30.660 bring to you now?

00:01:32.720 Like what, you know, if you're going to,

00:01:34.100 let's say you meet your husband tomorrow

00:01:35.340 and you're going into a marriage

00:01:36.440 and you could have just slept with him 0.99

00:01:37.980 or slept with him and all these other guys.

00:01:40.560 Like, don't you think it would be better

00:01:41.800 to just sleep with him?

00:01:43.100 I understand what you're saying

00:01:43.980 because obviously when you get married,

00:01:45.220 the love that you have for that person

00:01:46.480 and other people that you've been in a relationship

00:01:47.780 is definitely different

00:01:48.720 because you're married

00:01:49.620 and you've got to build a life with them.

00:01:51.380 So I think when I get to that,

00:01:52.840 I'll probably be like,

00:01:54.000 oh, do you know what?

00:01:54.500 I wish I would have waited.

00:01:55.580 But now I haven't,

00:01:57.500 I'm not trying to settle down.

00:01:59.100 I'm not in that time of my life.

00:02:00.720 So my perspective is going to be different.

00:02:02.720 What age would you like to settle down?

00:02:05.320 If I'm completely honest,

00:02:06.260 it's all about when my career is,

00:02:08.780 is if when I'm happy with where I am in my life,

00:02:10.880 if that makes sense.

00:02:11.560 Because I wouldn't want to settle down

00:02:12.840 not having achieved everything

00:02:14.400 that I want to achieve on myself

00:02:16.320 because I'm kind of quite selfish in that.

00:02:17.900 I want to be very successful,

00:02:19.420 do a lot, have tons of businesses.

00:02:20.800 So I think,

00:02:21.660 say if I blew up

00:02:22.860 and I had all this success

00:02:24.320 by the time I was 27,

00:02:26.400 then cool.

00:02:27.140 I'll look for when I'm 27.

00:02:28.860 But it depends on where I am financially

00:02:31.800 and stuff like that, to be honest.

00:02:33.400 What value does your career bring to a guy?

00:02:37.420 Well, music,

00:02:38.700 I want to inspire people

00:02:39.940 and motivate people

00:02:40.900 and I want to make a change.

00:02:42.180 I want to...

00:02:42.660 Yeah, but men don't care. 1.00

00:02:44.180 True.

00:02:44.820 He's like,

00:02:45.180 oh, I'm looking for a girl 0.99

00:02:45.980 to inspire and motivate.

00:02:47.180 You know what I mean?

00:02:47.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:48.280 100%.

00:02:48.800 I think...

00:02:49.800 It's like,

00:02:50.140 you're young now,

00:02:50.860 you're pretty now,

00:02:51.880 but you're going to be less pretty

00:02:53.180 and less young in 10 years,

00:02:54.960 in five years.

00:02:55.600 So why would you not look for that

00:02:56.780 when you're younger?

00:02:58.600 I mean,

00:02:59.200 I look quite young now.

00:03:00.640 So maybe when I'm older,

00:03:01.720 I'll still look young.

00:03:02.720 Do you know what I mean?

00:03:04.280 But I just know

00:03:05.760 what I want out of life.

00:03:06.860 Yes,

00:03:07.240 I do want a family.

00:03:09.100 For me,

00:03:09.400 that's very important

00:03:10.100 because I don't have any siblings

00:03:11.100 and all my family members

00:03:12.300 are very far spread out

00:03:13.980 across the world.

00:03:14.660 So for me,

00:03:15.300 I need that security.

00:03:17.260 So just a stat for you guys.

00:03:18.940 Did you know if you hit 30

00:03:20.020 and you're still single,

00:03:22.140 you drop to a less than 50% chance

00:03:24.980 of you being able to have a kid?

00:03:26.960 Meaning that if you're still single,

00:03:28.460 you're more likely

00:03:29.020 to not have a kid

00:03:29.800 than have one.

00:03:32.020 And so it's like,

00:03:32.560 knowing that,

00:03:33.620 you wouldn't want...

00:03:34.780 Because you know,

00:03:35.360 you're 24 now, right?

00:03:36.920 Yeah.

00:03:37.180 Let's say you date a guy tomorrow

00:03:38.240 and you date him for three years

00:03:39.240 and it doesn't work out.

00:03:40.380 Yeah.

00:03:40.700 It's like then,

00:03:41.640 now you're a bit older

00:03:43.100 and you have to keep...

00:03:44.420 Yeah.

00:03:45.020 I do think everything happens

00:03:46.160 for a reason though,

00:03:47.100 if I'm completely honest.

00:03:48.060 Like I could turn 30

00:03:49.540 and find my dream guy

00:03:50.520 the next day.

00:03:52.060 Do you know what I mean?

00:03:52.560 And then build a relationship

00:03:53.560 with him.

00:03:53.820 You could,

00:03:54.260 but the odds aren't

00:03:55.500 in your favor.

00:03:56.320 Yeah.

00:03:56.500 And the number...

00:03:57.040 And that's what I'm saying.

00:03:58.180 Like,

00:03:58.520 I think a lot of times

00:03:59.340 society tells us

00:04:00.340 to go after a career first

00:04:01.880 when it would be

00:04:02.840 a lot easier

00:04:03.480 if we were married

00:04:04.720 because you could have

00:04:05.260 the same experiences.

00:04:06.320 You could just have them

00:04:06.960 with your husband.

00:04:08.520 Very true.

00:04:09.200 But then,

00:04:09.780 what if he then wanted

00:04:10.800 to have kids with you

00:04:11.540 straight away?

00:04:12.440 Then you'd have to sacrifice that.

00:04:14.200 Do you want to be a mother?

00:04:15.200 Oh yeah.

00:04:15.600 I want like five kids.

00:04:17.120 You know,

00:04:17.600 90% of your eggs

00:04:18.640 are gone by 30.

00:04:21.180 So wait,

00:04:21.720 wait too long.

00:04:22.400 You can't have five.

00:04:24.320 Yeah.

00:04:24.880 Do you know

00:04:25.640 when geriatric pregnancy starts?

00:04:27.200 Any of you?

00:04:27.760 34.

00:04:28.220 What's geriatric?

00:04:29.000 I know you know the answer.

00:04:30.840 I was going for them.

00:04:32.320 What is geriatric?

00:04:33.440 So geriatric pregnancy 0.99

00:04:34.620 is like high-risk pregnancy.

00:04:36.080 Do you know when that starts?

00:04:37.680 I'd probably say 30,

00:04:39.420 30 plus.

00:04:40.140 Wait, no.

00:04:40.440 It's 40, right?

00:04:41.520 No.

00:04:42.140 Wrong.

00:04:42.340 You just said it.

00:04:43.140 28.

00:04:44.460 28.

00:04:44.920 It's 35.

00:04:46.300 Really?

00:04:46.860 Yeah,

00:04:46.980 so high-risk pregnancy

00:04:47.880 starts at 35.

00:04:49.000 What's a high-risk pregnancy? 0.74

00:04:49.260 And IVF,

00:04:50.060 it's actually most likely

00:04:50.960 that it won't work out.

00:04:52.040 Complications, I think.

00:04:52.860 I'm IVF.

00:04:53.680 What?

00:04:54.160 I'm IVF.

00:04:55.080 I'm an IVF baby.

00:04:55.940 My parents started

00:04:57.660 trying to have a kid

00:04:59.080 at 34, I think,

00:05:00.160 but I think they had

00:05:00.840 complications anyway.

00:05:01.640 Yeah, no,

00:05:02.080 and they're lucky

00:05:02.600 that you,

00:05:03.360 they're lucky,

00:05:04.340 but that's not the norm.

00:05:05.300 Like,

00:05:05.440 the majority of IVF

00:05:06.400 doesn't work out.

00:05:07.320 Yeah,

00:05:08.400 and there's complications

00:05:09.320 as well,

00:05:09.880 so yeah.

00:05:10.480 But we can do stuff

00:05:11.380 like freeze our eggs

00:05:12.560 and stuff like that.

00:05:13.760 I know that,

00:05:14.420 again,

00:05:14.620 it's not 100%,

00:05:16.100 but like you said.

00:05:17.800 No,

00:05:17.920 but even,

00:05:18.940 like the odds aren't,

00:05:19.800 if you're over,

00:05:21.040 it's like,

00:05:21.420 it's a less than 50% chance

00:05:23.200 that that works out,

00:05:24.760 that you actually even

00:05:25.420 conceived the kid.

00:05:27.060 So it's like,

00:05:27.460 they kind of lie to us

00:05:28.360 because they tell us

00:05:29.780 we have all these options

00:05:30.680 when we don't,

00:05:31.680 when half of your options

00:05:32.720 are also gone by 30.

00:05:34.200 So the number of options

00:05:35.220 you have at 20,

00:05:35.880 by the time you get to 30,

00:05:36.960 half of them are gone.

00:05:37.900 Don't you think

00:05:38.280 it's a lot of pressure

00:05:38.980 on a woman?

00:05:39.720 Yeah,

00:05:40.040 it is.

00:05:40.320 It's actually quite sad,

00:05:41.340 like,

00:05:41.640 even this conversation

00:05:42.480 has opened my eyes.

00:05:43.780 Makes you realise.

00:05:44.740 You're being told,

00:05:45.740 some people are saying

00:05:46.600 that women shouldn't 1.00

00:05:48.000 have a career,

00:05:48.520 they should focus

00:05:49.040 on their marriage

00:05:49.600 and care about their husband

00:05:50.500 and their children.

00:05:51.920 Other people want

00:05:52.920 to not have housewives

00:05:54.080 and want their woman 0.83

00:05:54.760 to have a career,

00:05:55.840 but then we have the pressure

00:05:57.380 of not being able

00:05:57.920 to have kids

00:05:58.640 at a certain age.

00:06:00.340 There's just,

00:06:00.820 there's so much for women 1.00

00:06:01.640 to kind of squeeze in.

00:06:03.380 Yeah,

00:06:03.440 it could be overwhelming.

00:06:04.520 It's quite overwhelming.

00:06:05.820 Well,

00:06:06.160 that's the thing,

00:06:06.620 you can't have everything,

00:06:07.680 but it's like,

00:06:08.040 what outcomes do you want?

00:06:09.360 Priorities.

00:06:10.480 Yeah,

00:06:10.720 what outcomes

00:06:11.840 would make you happy?

00:06:12.920 Everyone has

00:06:13.400 different priorities,

00:06:14.140 don't they?

00:06:14.440 Right,

00:06:14.940 and so it's kind of

00:06:16.040 a trade-off

00:06:16.600 because,

00:06:16.940 you know,

00:06:17.260 women over the age 0.82

00:06:18.160 of 45

00:06:18.600 that are still single

00:06:19.600 and childless,

00:06:20.380 like,

00:06:20.540 they're on drugs.

00:06:21.360 They're on drugs

00:06:21.960 at a higher rate

00:06:22.560 than any other group

00:06:23.480 and they're more depressed

00:06:24.860 than any other group

00:06:25.640 and they don't tell us

00:06:26.940 that we're really

00:06:27.340 on a time clock

00:06:28.280 and they don't really

00:06:30.280 warn us about that

00:06:31.420 and you just,

00:06:32.680 you can't have everything

00:06:33.540 and so it's the question

00:06:34.580 of like,

00:06:34.920 what outcome do you want?

00:06:36.300 Personally,

00:06:36.800 for me,

00:06:37.220 I've had this conversation

00:06:38.160 with myself

00:06:38.540 a fair few years ago

00:06:39.760 actually.

00:06:41.100 I want the fame

00:06:42.720 and fortune

00:06:43.240 and to have a career

00:06:44.100 but I need a family

00:06:45.460 for my mental health

00:06:46.760 so if I had a pill,

00:06:48.580 one of them was

00:06:49.040 to have a family

00:06:49.520 and one of them

00:06:49.860 was to be famous,

00:06:50.880 I would have a family

00:06:51.720 because that's what I need.

00:06:53.180 Right,

00:06:53.460 so why wouldn't you

00:06:54.500 prioritize that now

00:06:55.700 knowing that the quality

00:06:57.340 of guy you're going to get

00:06:58.240 is only going to get worse.

00:06:59.880 Like right now,

00:07:00.620 you're the most attractive

00:07:01.780 you're ever going to be.

00:07:02.920 You know,

00:07:03.060 it'd be one thing 0.90

00:07:03.560 if you were fat

00:07:04.200 and then you could lose weight

00:07:05.180 and get up,

00:07:05.700 but you're in shape,

00:07:06.460 right?

00:07:06.900 Thank you.

00:07:07.820 Do you know what I mean?

00:07:08.760 Because they'll always

00:07:09.440 give me this exception 0.97

00:07:10.460 because if you're fat, 0.99

00:07:12.340 duh,

00:07:13.020 but you're in good shape

00:07:14.580 so it's like

00:07:15.040 this is the highest quality guy

00:07:16.700 you're ever going to be able to get

00:07:17.860 and it's only going to get worse.

00:07:20.020 I hear that

00:07:20.480 but for me to raise a family

00:07:22.340 the way I want to raise it,

00:07:23.400 I want to have money.

00:07:24.340 That's not for me

00:07:25.000 to go spoil my kids

00:07:26.020 because I think

00:07:27.280 raising kids spoil

00:07:28.500 doesn't teach them anything

00:07:29.900 but I would want them

00:07:31.260 to not struggle

00:07:32.120 the way that I've struggled.

00:07:33.040 Could you marry a guy with money? 0.78

00:07:35.000 Would I marry a guy with money?

00:07:36.060 Of course, yeah.

00:07:36.820 Yeah, so why don't you just do that?

00:07:38.160 Because

00:07:38.460 You could,

00:07:39.040 you're pretty enough.

00:07:40.180 I mean, thank you.

00:07:40.920 I could do

00:07:41.420 but I wouldn't be fulfilled

00:07:43.200 and I think in life

00:07:44.980 it's all about fulfilling

00:07:46.360 your own hopes and dreams

00:07:47.800 and stuff like that.

00:07:48.700 So what is it?

00:07:49.280 Like this dream,

00:07:50.060 this world doesn't sound real to me

00:07:51.700 and this has come,

00:07:52.440 I come from like

00:07:53.040 my dad's a top like 1% earner.

00:07:54.740 He's very, very successful

00:07:55.760 and like I grew up around

00:07:56.680 successful people

00:07:57.520 but this doesn't sound real

00:07:59.540 where

00:07:59.960 because where the mom

00:08:01.280 has this successful career

00:08:02.840 and the dad also has

00:08:04.720 this successful career

00:08:05.860 and they also have kids,

00:08:07.880 they also have five kids.

00:08:09.160 Like something's got to give.

00:08:10.420 You literally can't do everything

00:08:11.840 or you're paying a nanny 0.98

00:08:13.280 to raise your kid.

00:08:14.400 I mean, to be fair,

00:08:15.660 I'm not going to lie,

00:08:16.160 if I had money

00:08:16.980 and I was a businesswoman

00:08:18.400 and I was busy,

00:08:19.180 I would have help.

00:08:20.560 If I could afford it,

00:08:21.300 I genuinely would have help

00:08:22.280 and that's not me saying

00:08:23.460 I can't be bothered

00:08:24.060 to look after my children.

00:08:25.240 It is.

00:08:25.640 Of course,

00:08:26.020 but I would be there

00:08:27.200 for the important parts though.

00:08:28.640 Say if I had...

00:08:29.340 It's not the same.

00:08:30.060 I do understand

00:08:31.840 where you're coming from

00:08:32.540 but that would be the sacrifice

00:08:33.540 that I would take

00:08:34.420 and I would want my kids

00:08:35.440 to see a working mom as well. 0.99

00:08:36.640 Right, but that's the problem.

00:08:37.760 That's the modern mindset.

00:08:38.900 It's about my career

00:08:39.720 and me before the family

00:08:41.020 and I think that's like

00:08:41.940 what is so broken down nowadays

00:08:43.660 is that we all care about

00:08:45.080 ourselves before the family

00:08:46.940 and to have a family

00:08:48.060 that's successful,

00:08:48.960 you have to be selfless.

00:08:50.700 You know,

00:08:50.880 our grandmothers

00:08:51.460 and our great-grandmothers

00:08:52.320 didn't stay with our husbands

00:08:53.340 by thinking about themselves.

00:08:55.100 As many of you know,

00:08:56.140 I was just banned on TikTok

00:08:58.180 and we are demonetized

00:08:59.900 on a daily basis

00:09:01.140 on this platform.

00:09:02.960 If you want to help,

00:09:04.440 please consider sending

00:09:05.560 a super thanks below.

00:09:07.500 Every donation helps

00:09:08.800 and it helps make

00:09:09.640 what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - May 07, 2023

Pearl SCHOOLS Modern Woman On The Wall

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Summary

Transcript