Pearl Shocked Them With This Stance
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
196.14659
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the difference between love and commitment in a relationship and marriage and how to balance the two when it comes to relationships and marriage. We also talk about the benefits and drawbacks of having a partner that you care deeply for and what to look out for in a partner.
Transcript
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Do you think that marriage is about love or about duty?
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Love isn't, for me, isn't necessarily just a feeling.
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It's not that you're not going to have butterflies all the time.
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You're not going to be infatuated with that person all the time.
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It's like the same way that you love your family.
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They're probably the most people that you have arguments with that you can't
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Like no matter what they do, you're always going to be there for them.
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So which one would you pick, love or duty more?
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I think generally everybody has their own definition.
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Of love, but individually, everybody has their own definition of love.
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I think that marriage is commitment, love partially.
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But I think when it comes down to it, what's the difference between a relationship and a
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Like, it's duty, but it's love, it's passion, it's all of that.
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But it's kind of like one though, don't you think?
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It's all of that and one, that's what I'm saying.
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It's almost like it's your role to show your woman love, the respect, and you know, as
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a man, you should be, you know, front line and make sure that you provide for your family
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and, you know, all the extra, do you know what I mean?
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How does women picking the guys we love work out for us?
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But I think that is literally because of how we think love should be and compared to
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Do you know, okay, so the first two or three years, obviously you're in the honeymoon
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period and actually there's neurotransmitters like chemicals in the brain that are activated
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So, like, the in love, lust feeling does wear off.
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And then, obviously, it turns into a more attachment, fondness, caring, duty, probably.
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And so you do have to be committed to that type of love rather than always chasing that
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Yeah, but this is why, this is why, sorry to cut you, yeah, but this is why I say, yeah,
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You can't expect the butterflies, you can't expect to be like, oh my God, like, you know,
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I want to rip her clothes off, like, you know, you see, it's not like that.
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You get comfortable, you get to that position in a situation where you are, like, so used
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to each other that you don't actually make enough effort for each other and it's all
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about making effort and making, you know, like a routine, all right, babe, let's go
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out every other week or let's book this and you've got to make the effort.
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Otherwise, that light, that spark that you had the first time, that would just, you know,
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You need to light that spark all the time and keep it lit, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, a lot of people nowadays don't accept that the person that you're with and yourself
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is going to change and people don't accept the change.
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Like, I'm not the same person I was a year ago, two years ago, ten years ago.
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Like, in a relationship, people always refer back to, oh, you're not the same person that
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Well, yeah, and I'm glad that I'm not because I'm human.
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There's no way that I'm going to stay the same.
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That's the fault on both parties, though, because you guys are supposed to be growing together.
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Yeah, but then you see that whole, you see the saying of, oh, we grew apart.
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I think women just say that for a reason to leave.
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You don't ever hear a man saying we grew apart.
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I also think this shit about, oh, the sparks, da, da, da.
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And they worked out better than women picking for ourselves.
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So if it was about love, sparks, all that, why isn't it working?
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The thing is, at the time when arranged marriages were more common, you also couldn't get divorced
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I've been in two domestic violence relationships.
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No, but I'm saying, because women always come on here and they'll say that, but it's like,
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I don't know if that's true because you don't know what for the fun of it.
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I don't, I hope you're not, but no, I definitely wouldn't know.
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I understand that there are women that put men in very difficult situations, which is not
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And I don't agree with, and you are absolutely right.
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But I definitely wouldn't come on here and say that when it's not true.
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Like genuinely, I don't really understand when girls come on the podcast, but they didn't
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It's the loyalty, it's the loyalty side of things.
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If you're in something, it's like, it also depends on the type of person that you're with
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and the situation and the, and yeah, all that kind of stuff.
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Like, do people know this guy, like who you've dated?
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I would never, it was a point that I was trying to prove in regards to marriage should
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And that was just a point that I was bringing, bringing to the table.
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But I am very skeptical when women say they were abused and they didn't go to the police,
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There's so many different factors and if you've not been through it, you would never
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Well, to me, it's like if you're in two different situations where you were abused in both,
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like my mind goes, well, did you hit him first?
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I've been in a relationship like that where it's aggressive.
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Well, and that's the thing, like a lot of times, like women will say I was abused,
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So then that's just an aggressive relationship.
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But our grandparents, our great-grandparents, our great-great-grandparents, I feel like
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And we hear about marriages over 20-some years, 30-some years, 40-some years, and they
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You've got to grow through what you go through.
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It's not something you just be like, oh, I'm going to have this feeling for the rest
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Are you saying that they went through domestic violence or just marriage?
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I feel like it could be possible, but there's a reason why people stay.
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It's because I don't think that we understand love like they do.
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But that's why I think divorce should be illegal.
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Because what's the point of getting married if you believe in divorce?
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Because it's like, we all believe in getting divorced for X, Y, Z.
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However, my only caveat is if you hit also, it doesn't count.