JustPearlyThings - July 12, 2023


Pearl SHUTS DOWN This Fallacy


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

203.29008

Word count

1,969

Sentence count

186

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with a good friend of mine to talk about why women should be allowed to choose their own husbands and why they should not have to choose a husband. We talk about how women have been left to their own devices in the past and how that has led to some of the worst marriages in history.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Love is an emotional decision.
00:00:01.460 That's why people make poor decisions when they are in love.
00:00:04.080 They look past all of the terrible things.
00:00:06.460 And it's a hormonal chemical reaction that makes you crazy.
00:00:11.020 So that's why people make poor decisions.
00:00:13.040 It's not like they are rational in their thought when they're like, oh, yeah, I definitely want to have a kid with this absolute psycho, regardless of gender.
00:00:21.180 We could say the reasons for it.
00:00:23.300 But, I mean, this is why historically the family would help pick out the husband.
00:00:27.440 Because we knew, like, there's a reason.
00:00:28.760 There's a reason, like, they kept women away from, like, the dad would say, like, threatened to shoot them, basically.
00:00:34.740 You've heard that, right, that phrase, you know, shotgun, grab shotgun wet.
00:00:38.400 Like, there's a reason we had phrases like that.
00:00:40.360 Because women, it just seems like when we're left to our own devices. 1.00
00:00:44.240 Like, the last hundred years, we started moving out of the apartment around 1920.
00:00:47.880 Before that, women lived with their families and then got married. 1.00
00:00:51.680 And it just seems like the more reproductive choice we have, the worse choices that we make.
00:00:55.380 So, it doesn't seem like we do a very good job, which is why it's important to have men that care about you helping you.
00:01:00.720 I don't necessarily think that people made better decisions in the past.
00:01:03.820 They just weren't able to leave those decisions, regardless, because they just had no choice.
00:01:08.040 So, there are plenty of miserable marriages. 0.63
00:01:09.980 There was a stigma.
00:01:10.700 That's not true.
00:01:11.420 There was a stigma.
00:01:12.220 There was a stigma against divorce.
00:01:13.720 So, what evidence do you have of that?
00:01:17.160 The fact that women couldn't leave? 1.00
00:01:19.680 No, what evidence do you have that they were just miserable?
00:01:23.240 I'm not saying they were all miserable.
00:01:25.380 I'm saying that they couldn't leave.
00:01:26.920 What percent do you think were miserable?
00:01:27.940 I'm not going to pull random statistics out of my ass.
00:01:29.900 No, but I'm just trying to understand.
00:01:31.340 Because if you think 10% were miserable, that's very different than 80%.
00:01:34.860 So, what I would say is it would fill the gap between the marriage gap that there is now that is in decline.
00:01:42.160 So, there was always going to be more marriages in a point of time where you didn't have other choices, right?
00:01:47.380 So, I'm not saying that all of those marriages in the past were unhappy, because I'm sure, like my grandparents and my great-grandparents were together for the whole of their lives.
00:01:54.960 Wait, wait, wait.
00:01:55.580 But that's the problem.
00:01:56.660 Right there.
00:01:57.280 Right there.
00:01:57.980 You're making marriage about happiness, and it's not about happiness.
00:02:00.640 It's about family and legacy and duty.
00:02:03.500 That's what it's about.
00:02:04.480 Marriage was...
00:02:04.860 It's not...
00:02:05.300 Why is it not all of them?
00:02:06.100 It should be about quality of life, no?
00:02:07.600 Because modern women, you want everything. 1.00
00:02:10.400 So, happy...
00:02:10.720 You're like, I want my...
00:02:12.060 I want an intact family, duty, and now I want to be happy on top of it.
00:02:16.480 Happiness isn't a constant...
00:02:18.320 Basic, no?
00:02:19.000 No, no, no, no.
00:02:19.620 Basic, a lie.
00:02:20.400 You cannot rely...
00:02:21.620 I cannot stand when women will blame men for them not being happy.
00:02:26.160 Your happiness is a choice.
00:02:27.400 Your happiness is your own emotions.
00:02:29.720 Happiness is a bad word, then.
00:02:30.040 You cannot blame other people for your own emotions.
00:02:32.580 So, happiness is in a constant state, right?
00:02:34.620 Anyone that's trying to be happy for the whole of their lives is a moron, because that's
00:02:38.420 impossible.
00:02:38.900 You have parts of happiness, but there's a difference between someone that can't make
00:02:44.200 you happy all the time, which I agree is impossible, between that and someone who actively makes
00:02:49.240 you miserable and quite sad and depressed or anxious or a variety of other things.
00:02:53.520 But that's still wrong.
00:02:54.640 You said makes you.
00:02:55.860 Makes you.
00:02:56.400 You cannot make me feel anything.
00:02:59.340 You cannot.
00:03:00.620 So, if they're doing a lot of horrible things, it will affect you.
00:03:04.040 One, one, if he's doing a bunch of horrible things, you probably didn't have your father
00:03:09.060 vet him, which he should.
00:03:12.020 But number two, I think it's putting a lot of responsibility on the men for trying to
00:03:16.760 make them in control of your happiness.
00:03:18.600 But you just said about the father vetting him, so that's putting a responsibility on
00:03:22.000 a man of some sort to say for your father to vet the man.
00:03:24.540 I think it would be wise.
00:03:25.840 I think we would have better outcomes if more men.
00:03:27.400 Maybe so.
00:03:28.140 But some people don't have their fathers around.
00:03:30.300 And I agree with you, but why is that?
00:03:32.520 It's because women left. 1.00
00:03:33.780 Because women leave the majority of the time, 70 to 80% of the time. 1.00
00:03:37.120 I promise you, yeah, Pearl, and I don't know the statistics, so don't ask me.
00:03:40.700 But I promise you, yeah, women will not leave a man that is treating them well.
00:03:45.760 I'm telling you, yeah.
00:03:46.940 I disagree.
00:03:47.620 They won't.
00:03:48.240 Sexing them good, loving them good, listening to them, providing for them.
00:03:52.480 That woman's not going nowhere. 1.00
00:03:53.780 Anyway, we have been talking this whole show about how women reproduce with these bad men. 0.90
00:03:59.600 Yeah, because some men sell dreams.
00:04:01.500 So, yeah, you're going to...
00:04:02.500 And I've been guilty of that in my early days.
00:04:04.860 What can I say?
00:04:05.700 You know, I have to keep it real.
00:04:07.780 We've just had a whole show about how...
00:04:08.700 Let's watch what women do. 1.00
00:04:09.920 If we're reproducing with the bad men, that means we're picking them.
00:04:13.680 I mean, there's a reason we have phrases, nice guys finish last.
00:04:17.120 There's a reason.
00:04:18.160 It's not there for no reason.
00:04:20.140 But that's not all women, Pearl. 0.51
00:04:21.540 I'm not saying it's all women, but it's a significant portion enough that we have a phrase that everybody knows.
00:04:27.120 Yeah.
00:04:27.320 Besides, the reason why we're having a lot of problems with marriage today is because it's the same reason we're having a lot of problems in other areas of society.
00:04:34.940 This new age, we try to redefine things.
00:04:37.600 We try to change the meaning of words.
00:04:38.980 We try to change the meaning of what things stand for.
00:04:42.020 Marriage was never about love, happiness, or all of that crap.
00:04:45.700 Marriage was about survival.
00:04:47.520 Marriage was about bringing together two families, bringing together resources to ensure the survival of your offsprings.
00:04:55.660 That's what marriage is for. 0.97
00:04:57.020 So, at the bedrock of marriage should lie duty and responsibility, not love and happiness.
00:05:02.740 But we have more than enough people on the earth for us not to choose love.
00:05:10.820 That's not true.
00:05:11.440 That's not true.
00:05:12.340 That's not true.
00:05:12.820 We have eight billion people.
00:05:15.240 No, but the issue is right now we have a below replacement rate.
00:05:18.580 Yes.
00:05:18.600 Even if you have 100 million people, if you're not replacing the people that are dying as quickly as you should, then eventually that civilization is going to crash.
00:05:30.180 And it has happened.
00:05:30.800 This is not something that we're predicting to happen that we don't know.
00:05:33.840 It has happened throughout history.
00:05:35.260 Can I ask you a question, King?
00:05:37.760 Do you think it would be a massive problem if there wasn't that many human beings on the planet?
00:05:43.300 Because, in my opinion, I don't think we're more important than the planet.
00:05:47.740 I think the planet is more important than us as a species.
00:05:50.680 God, if it would make houses cheaper, that would be great.
00:05:53.620 The thing is, if there weren't enough human beings on earth, human beings would make repopulating the earth more of a priority than love.
00:06:01.440 And that's what happened in the past.
00:06:02.560 That's where we're here today.
00:06:04.040 So the birthright is falling.
00:06:06.140 The reason why the birthright is falling is because we are all comfortable now.
00:06:09.620 We all can be selfish.
00:06:11.480 We don't have to worry the way our ancestors had to worry.
00:06:13.960 And one in three women have had an abortion.
00:06:16.220 Exactly.
00:06:17.080 But is it a bad thing, though, is my question.
00:06:18.920 Would it be a bad thing if there was less human beings on the planet?
00:06:21.900 Because we said there's 8.4 billion people right now.
00:06:24.540 My issue is all this stuff is playing God.
00:06:27.480 Like, I just don't think as humans we have the right to play God.
00:06:30.560 So you have the right to decide when life begins.
00:06:34.180 You have the right whether the child lives or dies.
00:06:37.000 Like, I just think we get into all these policies where you're literally playing God.
00:06:41.620 Yeah, because I suppose, you know, if a man or woman create a life, 0.96
00:06:44.800 if that's, is that playing God in your eyes then?
00:06:49.660 No.
00:06:50.840 Well, there's a huge thing about population control right now.
00:06:54.740 Yeah.
00:06:55.180 Which drives me mad.
00:06:56.540 Like, it's just, that's, like, really trying to control all of us.
00:07:06.260 And so that's why they're pushing for things that will cause a massive drop in the population.
00:07:15.100 The government will step in at some point and there will be incentives for people to have kids.
00:07:20.260 It will be inevitable.
00:07:21.040 Or we can ban divorce, abortion.
00:07:24.500 Well, I find that encouragement is usually more successful for not having a dystopian country than, you know,
00:07:32.240 it's like by being encouraging.
00:07:33.620 Why?
00:07:33.720 Where?
00:07:33.980 Because it makes people feel oppressed and then they don't tend to feel very happy.
00:07:37.140 Well, this isn't about feelings.
00:07:38.780 I like outcomes.
00:07:40.100 Well, yeah.
00:07:40.760 And right now, the outcome is that we're giving women the ability 0.96
00:07:45.940 to feel free, have an abortion, and they're doing it. 0.76
00:07:50.940 They're doing it.
00:07:51.500 Generally, humans respond better to positive reinforcement than negative.
00:07:55.960 Wait, wait, so you would agree then that child support should be banned
00:07:59.800 because we don't want to give people positive reinforcement for breaking the family?
00:08:03.480 Well, it's the women that are having the kids, so no. 1.00
00:08:06.100 They're the ones, well, that is an incentive for them.
00:08:08.900 If you take that away, they would be even less inclined.
00:08:10.460 No, no, I don't think so.
00:08:11.860 I think there would be more intact families.
00:08:14.260 I think when you pay women to leave, they will leave. 1.00
00:08:16.020 Well, we're just talking about more children at the moment,
00:08:18.600 not necessarily more families.
00:08:20.400 No, I was talking about families the whole time.
00:08:23.200 Okay, well, some people, some.
00:08:24.740 Families is a different thing.
00:08:26.000 Yeah, yeah, I think families are good.
00:08:27.940 So the thing with change is now we are a part of a society that has changed.
00:08:35.400 You can't really force things to go backwards.
00:08:38.480 Otherwise, you end up in a sort of authoritarian state, right?
00:08:41.860 You're like, you have to get married.
00:08:43.140 You have to do this.
00:08:43.900 You have to have kids.
00:08:44.900 There is no other option.
00:08:45.620 You can.
00:08:46.500 You certainly can.
00:08:47.680 I'm not saying they will.
00:08:48.620 Yeah, if they want to feel like it's in North Korea.
00:08:49.700 I'm not saying they will.
00:08:50.980 I don't think that's a fair comparison.
00:08:53.680 No-fault divorce was legal like 50 years ago.
00:08:57.140 It wasn't that long ago.
00:08:58.380 I think it was the 90s, so that's like, what, 30 years ago?
00:09:01.740 It wasn't even that long ago.
00:09:03.620 Well, she's absolutely right.
00:09:04.780 You can't force things on human beings.
00:09:08.020 What would happen is we would eventually kill ourselves off.
00:09:11.500 That's what is going to happen.
00:09:12.580 So you can't force us to go back to the way things were.
00:09:15.080 What will happen is naturally we will take ourselves back to the bottom and reset.
00:09:19.020 I think the problem is when you look at the policies, whether they're like negative policies
00:09:23.440 or positive incentives, none of them have worked.
00:09:26.660 Like when you look at all of East Asia, all of Eastern Europe, now Western Europe, not 0.51
00:09:30.040 a single country has managed to get back to replacement level population fertility.
00:09:35.040 Not a single country.
00:09:36.040 All of them have gone below.
00:09:37.140 Every single country in Europe is not having enough babies to sustain the population.
00:09:40.660 But that isn't it.