JustPearlyThings - October 09, 2023


Pearl Shuts Down Woke Lawyer

Topics
unhealthy relationship work through unhealthy relationships
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
The History Of The Manosphere ｜ Sandman @SandmanMGTOW Education and Career DESTROYS Women for Being Good Wives

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

210.28

Word count

2,686

Sentence count

274

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are joined by mental health professional, Dr. Kelly, to discuss the topic of having children with your partner. We discuss the benefits and drawbacks of having a child with someone you re in a relationship with. We also discuss the impact of social media and how it can have on the way we grow up.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Is your advice, is your advice, okay, because I'm trying to understand you, and I can actually
00:00:05.120 understand a lot of your points, but is your advice to say that you should maintain an unhealthy
00:00:09.700 relationship for the sake of the children, which I experience in my work, a lot of, I instruct a
00:00:14.980 lot of psychiatrists and psychologists to examine my clients, and when I do, a lot of it comes from
00:00:20.160 their background and the sort of relationship and household that they're brought up in.
00:00:23.460 Okay, so my advice is to, if you are in an unhealthy relationship, to figure out how to
00:00:29.540 make it healthy, that's that weight, and I think people throw in the towel too soon, and I think
00:00:39.200 it's because older women give us excuses, I think that is why, because women raise weight, because women 1.00
00:00:47.120 respond to social shame very quickly, women, like that's why, why do you think we change the fashion 1.00
00:00:54.580 trends so quick? Women respond very quickly to media and social shame, so when we have a culture 1.00
00:01:00.280 that bails out women of our bad decisions by telling them they're not bad, and older women 0.99
00:01:06.340 do this, then you have a bunch of single mothers who make excuses for their poor decisions. 1.00
00:01:12.580 Can I just say, I agree, can I just say something, I agree completely with what you've said.
00:01:16.820 Okay, so, so, thank you.
00:01:18.280 However, no, however, can I just say though?
00:01:20.960 Reality is different.
00:01:21.960 Yeah, because, no, this, this isn't, right, you, you literally cannot say that.
00:01:31.420 Yes, I can.
00:01:31.920 It's all, no, I mean you can say whatever you want to say, and ultimately this is your show
00:01:36.180 and we all have to behave, do you understand what I'm saying?
00:01:38.920 No, because it is what it is, but however, like, your, your, life isn't so cut and dry.
00:01:45.060 It's not.
00:01:45.620 It's really not.
00:01:46.760 Relationships aren't so cut and dry.
00:01:48.080 And that's typically what women say, that's typically, I do so many of these shows. 1.00
00:01:52.160 Guys, this is literally, wait.
00:01:53.500 You're talking about shows.
00:01:54.920 Can you give us the ideal advice?
00:01:56.420 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, my lord.
00:02:01.020 It's like, what, I don't know how many guys in a relationship with you guys, you can't get a sentence.
00:02:06.180 You can't, you can't get a sentence.
00:02:07.440 I won't go into your past relationship.
00:02:08.880 Wait, wait, wait, no, we won't go into your past relationship.
00:02:11.020 We give you, we give you, we give you one rule.
00:02:12.480 I'm not ever going to take it first.
00:02:13.480 We give you one rule.
00:02:14.900 One rule.
00:02:16.720 Oh my gosh.
00:02:17.700 Okay, so I don't even remember what I was talking about.
00:02:19.680 What do you guys think?
00:02:20.580 Statistics.
00:02:20.760 What do you guys wait?
00:02:21.480 It's just to say that advice is sometimes.
00:02:23.880 I want to, I want to hear from you guys.
00:02:25.020 Reality is not always the same at all.
00:02:26.300 Okay, let's go to, let's go to the next one.
00:02:28.520 Let's go to the next rule.
00:02:31.620 I'm so nervous.
00:02:33.480 We're talking about statistics.
00:02:34.400 I feel like we've been talking about what men want, but nobody's asked the men, like
00:02:38.420 any question, men, ever.
00:02:39.620 Yeah, I do.
00:02:40.220 Like we've just been looking at each other.
00:02:41.940 We've been looking at each other. 1.00
00:02:42.620 Well, at least, at least they know, you know, shit. 1.00
00:02:45.940 They've got a good idea, shit, you know. 0.99
00:02:47.880 You know, I've had so many opinions, but I was just like, okay, this is not. 0.99
00:02:50.960 I know you, now you deserve to tell my man, because you've been waiting to jump in, man.
00:02:54.300 Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
00:02:54.940 No, I mean, it's just that I don't even want to go back to the topic of like abortion and
00:02:58.780 stuff like that.
00:02:59.360 Please don't.
00:02:59.940 That's when it was from.
00:03:01.900 No, this one was domestic skills. 0.87
00:03:04.600 Sorry, but like, it's just like, because I feel like when you talk about a lot of things
00:03:08.200 that have to do, especially related to like having children and abortion and whatnot,
00:03:12.660 like why is, why is the opinion of the man is like, is not relevant?
00:03:15.540 Like, if he wants to be a father and he genuinely wants to have a daughter or a son, right?
00:03:20.760 Because I'm not ashamed to say this.
00:03:22.420 I'm 27 and I've caught myself the other day just having this thought in my head.
00:03:25.820 I was like, I wish I had a daughter, you know, and there's nothing wrong with it.
00:03:29.300 So it's like, if I was put in that situation, why am I not allowed to voice my opinion?
00:03:35.840 Yeah.
00:03:36.360 Like to say, you know, so it's like.
00:03:39.080 Because the modern day narrative is her body, her choice.
00:03:41.840 It fails to acknowledge like what you said, that it takes two to turn going.
00:03:44.480 It takes two.
00:03:45.540 It's, it's two people.
00:03:47.420 But unfortunately, that's the world that we live in.
00:03:50.500 Men are basically second class citizens in the modern world.
00:03:52.960 I've honestly had friends that unfollowed me because I voiced my opinion or something like that.
00:03:57.180 I don't think you should stop doing that.
00:03:59.060 100% voice your opinion.
00:04:01.020 Yeah.
00:04:02.540 Do you have an opinion you want to give?
00:04:03.920 No, my opinions have been quite clear today.
00:04:07.160 I just want to say though, that in terms of what we're saying,
00:04:09.800 we're answering the questions as opposed to, you're not asking,
00:04:12.960 can you give advice for the youth outlet?
00:04:14.640 Obviously, the ideal advice is one thing, but in reality is something else.
00:04:19.400 And it's not possible for a woman or a man to anticipate what sort of relationship they're getting
00:04:25.380 or how it's going to turn out after a number of years.
00:04:28.000 But all you could do is work with it.
00:04:29.500 And with the children as a priority, if it's unhealthy, then you've got to leave.
00:04:33.260 But you can make good choices.
00:04:38.260 Absolutely.
00:04:38.600 Exactly.
00:04:39.600 You don't have to choose to leave.
00:04:41.040 You don't have to choose to be a single mother.
00:04:42.860 These are all choices.
00:04:45.980 What if, let's hypothetically, let's give some scenarios then to catch you on this point.
00:04:50.240 So what if you, the woman, doesn't decide to leave, but the male then decides to leave?
00:04:56.780 Should she throw in a towel or continue to be everything that she should be? 0.75
00:05:00.300 Well, why did he leave?
00:05:02.520 Because of the woman, are you saying?
00:05:04.300 I didn't say anything.
00:05:06.360 I asked the question.
00:05:07.800 Because the relationship's not healthy, I think.
00:05:10.000 Okay, but why isn't it healthy?
00:05:12.100 Because of a number of reasons that it could be.
00:05:13.720 But what are the, you can't give me a fake scenario and not give me what are the.
00:05:17.060 I could give you scenarios.
00:05:18.140 Okay, give me the reason.
00:05:19.380 It could be for the male or the woman.
00:05:21.900 If either the male or the woman is, for example, cheating, having an affair.
00:05:26.880 Or if the male or the woman, because the woman could be violent as well, is violent in the relationship.
00:05:31.660 So in this scenario, what's happening?
00:05:33.900 Any one of them.
00:05:34.960 You're talking generally for everything.
00:05:36.860 I'm trying to be real.
00:05:37.960 Okay.
00:05:38.780 I'm trying to be real.
00:05:39.640 I'm trying to, I'm trying to, but you keep giving me a couple.
00:05:42.180 I need a situation.
00:05:43.400 What is the situation?
00:05:44.360 It could be all of them.
00:05:45.400 But what is it?
00:05:46.240 You made up the situation.
00:05:47.500 Yeah.
00:05:47.640 So what is it?
00:05:48.520 What is the.
00:05:49.260 So he's hitting her, she's hitting him.
00:05:51.760 It's just unhealthy.
00:05:52.800 It's an unhealthy relationship.
00:05:53.740 So it's all of their problems.
00:05:55.840 That's violence.
00:05:56.820 Yeah, that's just crazy.
00:05:57.900 But then should you stay together for the sake of the children, for the children to witness that?
00:06:02.340 Or should you aim for better?
00:06:03.580 And maybe you work better outside of the relationship, co-parenting, than you do in Under One Roof.
00:06:08.580 I just think that if that's happening where people have got to the point where they're having blows with each other, I just feel like there must have been some sort of sign somewhere.
00:06:16.640 Even if it's not physical, you knew somewhere that this was going to get physical at some point.
00:06:22.420 There's normally signs.
00:06:23.600 And then somebody, so what you're saying is somebody goes into a relationship and says, okay, this relationship is going to be toxic.
00:06:30.180 I can see I'm going to have children and that my partner's going to leave me in 10 years.
00:06:33.400 No, I'm not saying that.
00:06:35.360 But I'm going to do it anyway.
00:06:36.420 I'm saying there's normally signs that this person has those kinds of traits is what I'm saying.
00:06:42.500 At some point, June, you were there.
00:06:43.880 Yeah, sometimes.
00:06:45.160 I'd say most of the time they have signs and people choose to ignore it.
00:06:48.320 My question is always, did your dad like him?
00:06:50.640 And the answer is typically no.
00:06:53.320 Typically.
00:06:54.280 So if you didn't get your dad involved with helping pick your partner.
00:07:01.660 What if your dad did like him?
00:07:02.980 Here's the thing.
00:07:03.380 What if your dad did like him?
00:07:04.440 I've never gotten to that stage where somebody like fully like a girl came up to me and said, okay, let's go and just meet my father. 0.99
00:07:10.820 Meet my family.
00:07:12.160 What if you don't have a dad?
00:07:12.860 I don't think that's something that happens.
00:07:14.160 But they should bring that back though.
00:07:15.820 Yeah.
00:07:16.180 I mean, I know, but I'm saying they would be a good thing, right?
00:07:19.860 If you want to have a kid, like wouldn't it be good to just say, hey, family, is this a good person?
00:07:24.560 What about if you don't have a family though?
00:07:26.700 Well, whose fault is that typically?
00:07:28.780 If you're born into, if your parents have both died and you've got no family.
00:07:32.720 But I'm going back to it.
00:07:34.580 Typically the women leave. 0.99
00:07:36.520 So typically that goes back to women leaving. 1.00
00:07:39.300 If I'm a child and both of my parents died, so I have no guidance.
00:07:43.480 Now this hypothetical is an orphan.
00:07:47.620 It's hypothetical.
00:07:48.480 The fact is there's a lot of hypothetical examples.
00:07:52.620 I know, but why is this an abused orphan?
00:07:56.940 It could be anything.
00:07:58.580 It could literally be anything.
00:07:58.940 It's the worst orphan in existence.
00:08:01.020 A hundred percent.
00:08:02.560 But the point is we can't speak out for everyone.
00:08:05.500 Because there's literally circumstances.
00:08:05.940 But okay, well, as an adult having a conversation, do we not know that we are not talking about every single person?
00:08:15.100 Does everybody know that?
00:08:16.400 Yeah.
00:08:16.740 So why do you guys keep bringing this up?
00:08:18.360 We know.
00:08:19.880 It's the exception.
00:08:20.540 We know there's exceptions.
00:08:22.260 We've said this so many times.
00:08:23.220 So if they are an orphan, both their parents have died, and they're beating each other up to the inch of death, yeah.
00:08:30.440 But those are the reasons that parents have died.
00:08:31.760 No, no, no, but listen.
00:08:32.700 I will hold them back in.
00:08:34.040 I will back them.
00:08:34.620 Okay, good.
00:08:35.360 I'll back both of them leaving if they're orphaned and parents have beaten them.
00:08:38.380 Those are the circumstances I'm like, because I feel like if you're in a happily married environment, otherwise, you're not going to separate unless there's one of these exceptions.
00:08:45.640 Most of the reasons just like, you know what's crazy?
00:08:49.160 I know people that have worked through abuse.
00:08:51.600 I know people genuinely that have worked through it.
00:08:54.300 That is good.
00:08:55.020 That's the goal.
00:08:55.720 I know people that have worked through cheating.
00:08:59.200 I know people that have worked through toxic relationships.
00:09:02.520 But the problem is we're told you can't work through these things, and if it's unhealthy, it can never become healthy, and the best option is to leave.
00:09:09.620 Oh, I don't agree with that.
00:09:10.320 No, I don't agree with that.
00:09:11.540 Wait, wait, wait, when generally, and when generally, the best option is to work it out.
00:09:16.660 I think if you can work it out, you should.
00:09:17.540 Let me just point something out, but you see, and this goes back to the initial point we made of how we give advice, because the reality is, you just said you don't agree with it, right?
00:09:27.100 Agree with what?
00:09:27.860 Like, you don't agree that the first option is to leave, that you should work through things.
00:09:32.320 No, you should try and work through things, but my point is that it's not always possible.
00:09:35.620 No, and that's my point.
00:09:37.920 So you do agree that you should work through things, but everything you've been arguing
00:09:43.040 here has been against that.
00:09:44.920 Yeah.
00:09:45.300 No, it hasn't.
00:09:45.920 No, it hasn't.
00:09:46.800 It has.
00:09:47.640 It hasn't.
00:09:48.520 Because every time she says something about, well, you should stay, then you bring up,
00:09:52.740 you try to look for a reason why you should leave.
00:09:54.240 No, we're giving examples.
00:09:55.220 If you said straight lace, do you think, if you said it in this way, that do you think
00:10:02.020 that you should work on a relationship up until the point, you know, if it can be worked
00:10:07.060 out, should you work on it?
00:10:09.000 100%.
00:10:09.400 100%.
00:10:09.840 I think if you can make something work, make it work.
00:10:12.340 But if it cannot be worked out, if it is not healthy, I'm saying, then that is not the
00:10:19.240 best thing to do.
00:10:19.620 No, I gave you the best answer.
00:10:21.380 Make it healthy.
00:10:22.100 No, but the point is, the point is, the point is.
00:10:24.120 But you can't, you're saying it like you can just make it healthy.
00:10:26.840 No, no, the point is, the point is, if you do not, the point is, the message that needs
00:10:32.900 to be out there, what you're saying exists.
00:10:34.500 The message that needs to be out there, if it can work, make it work.
00:10:37.640 No, no, the point is.
00:10:38.880 No, no, the point is, no, but you see, that is giving a caveat.
00:10:44.300 No, it isn't.
00:10:44.840 No, listen.
00:10:45.540 It's reality.
00:10:46.400 No, it's not.
00:10:47.540 It's really not.
00:10:48.380 It's reality because that's what we've made it.
00:10:50.400 No.
00:10:50.780 The reality is, the reality is, is for instance, we all know that selling drugs is bad, right?
00:10:56.560 So, if for instance, we know that selling drugs is bad and we say selling drugs is bad,
00:11:02.760 that is the baseline.
00:11:03.860 It doesn't mean that, it doesn't mean that I can, I can still go out there and meet a
00:11:09.380 little boy who tells me his story and he tells me all he went through and the reason why
00:11:14.380 selling drugs, and I could empathize with him on a specific level, on a one-on-one level,
00:11:21.400 but you would never hear me come out and say, well, there should be situations where I can
00:11:25.880 understand that selling drugs is bad because that is a wrong message to pass.
00:11:29.060 Even though it's true, no, it is, but it is the same, it's the same concept.
00:11:33.440 No, it isn't.
00:11:33.940 Even though it's true.
00:11:34.440 Actually, I would argue it's worse.
00:11:36.280 Oh my God, it's absolutely worse to break up a family because the kids suffer.
00:11:41.600 I agree with you.
00:11:43.180 But so why are you arguing for every excuse to let kids suffer?
00:11:46.980 I'm not arguing for every excuse.
00:11:47.780 Yes, you are.
00:11:48.460 No, I am not.
00:11:49.420 What I'm saying is, I agree.
00:11:51.220 If it can work out, then yes, work it out.
00:11:54.720 I'm a great believer of keeping families together, 100%.
00:11:58.600 All I'm saying.
00:12:00.240 All I'm saying.
00:12:00.960 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:01.420 Period.
00:12:02.040 Period.
00:12:02.360 Period.
00:12:03.380 It's not period.
00:12:04.020 I said this at the best start of the show.
00:12:05.840 Just have a baseline.
00:12:07.400 This is bad.
00:12:08.360 And then, yes, there might be other reasons why you might leave, but just have a baseline.
00:12:12.300 It's bad.
00:12:13.120 You didn't say the abortion.
00:12:13.680 So you mean say what we want you to say and then end it there.
00:12:17.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:12:17.960 You mean disregard reality.
00:12:20.140 Let me ask you a few questions.
00:12:21.740 Disregard reality and focus on the hypothetical perfect ideal scenario.
00:12:25.680 No, no, no, no.
00:12:26.540 I'm going to ask you some questions then, yeah?
00:12:28.140 Just yes or no answers, right?
00:12:31.600 Is abortion bad? 0.98
00:12:34.260 Like I said.
00:12:35.020 Here we go.
00:12:36.100 Right, so this is what I'm saying.
00:12:37.420 That's the point again.
00:12:37.900 That's why, because it's not realistic.
00:12:39.660 It's a yes or no.
00:12:41.100 In general, in general, is abortion bad?
00:12:43.980 Simple.
00:12:44.140 Not everything is black and white in life.