Pearl Shuts Down Woke Lawyer
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.27635
Summary
In this episode, we are joined by mental health professional, Dr. Kelly, to discuss the topic of having children with your partner. We discuss the benefits and drawbacks of having a child with someone you re in a relationship with. We also discuss the impact of social media and how it can have on the way we grow up.
Transcript
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Is your advice, is your advice, okay, because I'm trying to understand you, and I can actually
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understand a lot of your points, but is your advice to say that you should maintain an unhealthy
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relationship for the sake of the children, which I experience in my work, a lot of, I instruct a
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lot of psychiatrists and psychologists to examine my clients, and when I do, a lot of it comes from
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their background and the sort of relationship and household that they're brought up in.
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Okay, so my advice is to, if you are in an unhealthy relationship, to figure out how to
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make it healthy, that's that weight, and I think people throw in the towel too soon, and I think
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it's because older women give us excuses, I think that is why, because women raise weight, because women
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respond to social shame very quickly, women, like that's why, why do you think we change the fashion
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trends so quick? Women respond very quickly to media and social shame, so when we have a culture
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that bails out women of our bad decisions by telling them they're not bad, and older women
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do this, then you have a bunch of single mothers who make excuses for their poor decisions.
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Can I just say, I agree, can I just say something, I agree completely with what you've said.
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Yeah, because, no, this, this isn't, right, you, you literally cannot say that.
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It's all, no, I mean you can say whatever you want to say, and ultimately this is your show
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and we all have to behave, do you understand what I'm saying?
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No, because it is what it is, but however, like, your, your, life isn't so cut and dry.
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And that's typically what women say, that's typically, I do so many of these shows.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, my lord.
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It's like, what, I don't know how many guys in a relationship with you guys, you can't get a sentence.
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Wait, wait, wait, no, we won't go into your past relationship.
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We give you, we give you, we give you one rule.
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Okay, so I don't even remember what I was talking about.
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I feel like we've been talking about what men want, but nobody's asked the men, like
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Well, at least, at least they know, you know, shit.
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You know, I've had so many opinions, but I was just like, okay, this is not.
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I know you, now you deserve to tell my man, because you've been waiting to jump in, man.
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No, I mean, it's just that I don't even want to go back to the topic of like abortion and
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Sorry, but like, it's just like, because I feel like when you talk about a lot of things
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that have to do, especially related to like having children and abortion and whatnot,
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like why is, why is the opinion of the man is like, is not relevant?
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Like, if he wants to be a father and he genuinely wants to have a daughter or a son, right?
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I'm 27 and I've caught myself the other day just having this thought in my head.
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I was like, I wish I had a daughter, you know, and there's nothing wrong with it.
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So it's like, if I was put in that situation, why am I not allowed to voice my opinion?
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Because the modern day narrative is her body, her choice.
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It fails to acknowledge like what you said, that it takes two to turn going.
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But unfortunately, that's the world that we live in.
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Men are basically second class citizens in the modern world.
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I've honestly had friends that unfollowed me because I voiced my opinion or something like that.
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I just want to say though, that in terms of what we're saying,
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we're answering the questions as opposed to, you're not asking,
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Obviously, the ideal advice is one thing, but in reality is something else.
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And it's not possible for a woman or a man to anticipate what sort of relationship they're getting
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or how it's going to turn out after a number of years.
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And with the children as a priority, if it's unhealthy, then you've got to leave.
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You don't have to choose to be a single mother.
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What if, let's hypothetically, let's give some scenarios then to catch you on this point.
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So what if you, the woman, doesn't decide to leave, but the male then decides to leave?
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Should she throw in a towel or continue to be everything that she should be?
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Because the relationship's not healthy, I think.
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Because of a number of reasons that it could be.
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But what are the, you can't give me a fake scenario and not give me what are the.
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If either the male or the woman is, for example, cheating, having an affair.
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Or if the male or the woman, because the woman could be violent as well, is violent in the relationship.
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I'm trying to, I'm trying to, but you keep giving me a couple.
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But then should you stay together for the sake of the children, for the children to witness that?
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And maybe you work better outside of the relationship, co-parenting, than you do in Under One Roof.
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I just think that if that's happening where people have got to the point where they're having blows with each other, I just feel like there must have been some sort of sign somewhere.
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Even if it's not physical, you knew somewhere that this was going to get physical at some point.
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And then somebody, so what you're saying is somebody goes into a relationship and says, okay, this relationship is going to be toxic.
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I can see I'm going to have children and that my partner's going to leave me in 10 years.
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I'm saying there's normally signs that this person has those kinds of traits is what I'm saying.
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I'd say most of the time they have signs and people choose to ignore it.
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So if you didn't get your dad involved with helping pick your partner.
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I've never gotten to that stage where somebody like fully like a girl came up to me and said, okay, let's go and just meet my father.
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I mean, I know, but I'm saying they would be a good thing, right?
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If you want to have a kid, like wouldn't it be good to just say, hey, family, is this a good person?
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If you're born into, if your parents have both died and you've got no family.
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If I'm a child and both of my parents died, so I have no guidance.
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The fact is there's a lot of hypothetical examples.
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But the point is we can't speak out for everyone.
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But okay, well, as an adult having a conversation, do we not know that we are not talking about every single person?
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So if they are an orphan, both their parents have died, and they're beating each other up to the inch of death, yeah.
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But those are the reasons that parents have died.
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I'll back both of them leaving if they're orphaned and parents have beaten them.
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Those are the circumstances I'm like, because I feel like if you're in a happily married environment, otherwise, you're not going to separate unless there's one of these exceptions.
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Most of the reasons just like, you know what's crazy?
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I know people genuinely that have worked through it.
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I know people that have worked through cheating.
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I know people that have worked through toxic relationships.
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But the problem is we're told you can't work through these things, and if it's unhealthy, it can never become healthy, and the best option is to leave.
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Wait, wait, wait, when generally, and when generally, the best option is to work it out.
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Let me just point something out, but you see, and this goes back to the initial point we made of how we give advice, because the reality is, you just said you don't agree with it, right?
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Like, you don't agree that the first option is to leave, that you should work through things.
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No, you should try and work through things, but my point is that it's not always possible.
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So you do agree that you should work through things, but everything you've been arguing
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Because every time she says something about, well, you should stay, then you bring up,
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you try to look for a reason why you should leave.
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If you said straight lace, do you think, if you said it in this way, that do you think
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that you should work on a relationship up until the point, you know, if it can be worked
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I think if you can make something work, make it work.
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But if it cannot be worked out, if it is not healthy, I'm saying, then that is not the
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No, but the point is, the point is, the point is.
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But you can't, you're saying it like you can just make it healthy.
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No, no, the point is, the point is, if you do not, the point is, the message that needs
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The message that needs to be out there, if it can work, make it work.
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No, no, the point is, no, but you see, that is giving a caveat.
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It's reality because that's what we've made it.
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The reality is, the reality is, is for instance, we all know that selling drugs is bad, right?
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So, if for instance, we know that selling drugs is bad and we say selling drugs is bad,
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It doesn't mean that, it doesn't mean that I can, I can still go out there and meet a
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little boy who tells me his story and he tells me all he went through and the reason why
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selling drugs, and I could empathize with him on a specific level, on a one-on-one level,
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but you would never hear me come out and say, well, there should be situations where I can
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understand that selling drugs is bad because that is a wrong message to pass.
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Even though it's true, no, it is, but it is the same, it's the same concept.
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Oh my God, it's absolutely worse to break up a family because the kids suffer.
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But so why are you arguing for every excuse to let kids suffer?
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I'm a great believer of keeping families together, 100%.
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And then, yes, there might be other reasons why you might leave, but just have a baseline.
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So you mean say what we want you to say and then end it there.
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Disregard reality and focus on the hypothetical perfect ideal scenario.
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I'm going to ask you some questions then, yeah?