JustPearlyThings - April 24, 2023


Pearl Tried Applying Logic On This Blue Pilled Man

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Pearl
This Was The Most Honest Interview Ever The Reason Men and Women CAN'T BE Friends

Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

205.94

Word count

1,758

Sentence count

178

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the difference between a woman with and without kids, and a man with a child and a woman without kids. We discuss the pros and cons of each option, and the benefits and disadvantages to each option.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I would say if my brother has a child and he has the choice to date, not everyone has that choice, but if he has a choice, girl with no kid or girl with a kid, I would say no kid. 0.80
00:00:10.220 It's less of a problem.
00:00:11.040 You just said before that you think that a guy with a child and a woman with a child should date each other. 0.63
00:00:16.560 I think that they should date each other in general.
00:00:21.220 I think we both, on both ends, we should strive to date people with not kids.
00:00:26.860 I think it's like better.
00:00:28.000 It's easier.
00:00:28.920 However, I do think that if a man can swing a girl with no kids, I would tell him to go pick the girl with no kids. 0.97
00:00:36.120 Because my dad met my mom with my two brothers, and he already had my sister before.
00:00:43.120 I am the only child from my mom and dad.
00:00:46.220 And I mean, they're together over 30 years.
00:00:48.580 It's one of the best relationships I've ever seen.
00:00:51.000 But they both had children before they met each other.
00:00:54.700 And that's it, right?
00:00:55.400 Isn't it sometimes that, you know, in the day and age that we live in, sometimes connection is more important.
00:01:01.560 Because to find someone that you actually truly connect with and you have any type of anything with, you've got to take that.
00:01:08.760 Regardless of their past, regardless of whatever, you take that opportunity and you go with that.
00:01:13.140 I don't think connection overrides what's easier and better for a family.
00:01:17.760 Again, I'm not saying you can't date someone with kids.
00:01:20.600 Because I'm saying, like, why would you pick someone with a kid when you could pick someone without a kid?
00:01:24.900 Yeah.
00:01:25.220 Yeah, of course.
00:01:25.820 If you have that option.
00:01:27.040 Yeah.
00:01:27.400 Of course.
00:01:27.960 I understand.
00:01:28.760 Yeah.
00:01:29.040 But at the same time, it depends on the situation.
00:01:32.460 Like, for, you know, if you're a, I'm not going to speak for a man, I'm a man.
00:01:36.060 So, you know, me as a man that I have kids, you know, I would feel more, not like more comfortable, but if a woman has kids, it will make my life a lot easier knowing that she understands the experience.
00:01:50.740 She understands the pros and cons.
00:01:52.420 She understands the headache.
00:01:53.980 Whereas a woman that hasn't had kids would be like, why do I need to put up with that? 1.00
00:01:58.220 Yeah.
00:01:58.700 I don't need that.
00:01:59.660 And a lot of women will show that emotion. 1.00
00:02:01.840 And it's a big toll on a man's life.
00:02:03.940 I'm curious, what if she was motherly, though?
00:02:06.000 What if she liked your kids and she was married? 0.99
00:02:07.520 Then that's no problem.
00:02:08.540 I'm not ruling that out.
00:02:10.040 I'm not ruling that out.
00:02:11.180 I'm just saying there's a potential chance that a woman that has no kids would be like, well, you know, I'm not. 1.00
00:02:16.920 She won't like the kids.
00:02:17.480 It won't be.
00:02:18.100 And it might put her off even having one.
00:02:19.960 Yeah.
00:02:20.320 Yeah.
00:02:20.620 You know?
00:02:22.840 Let's be real.
00:02:24.100 Let's talk facts about it.
00:02:25.260 Facts, facts, facts.
00:02:25.980 You know what I mean?
00:02:27.500 I'm just saying, if you got two girls exactly the same, one with child, one without a child. 0.65
00:02:33.940 I don't know why you wouldn't pick no child.
00:02:35.700 Yeah, for sure.
00:02:35.900 They're exactly the same.
00:02:36.760 If they're exactly the same.
00:02:37.700 That's what I've been saying the whole time.
00:02:39.580 I've been saying this the whole time.
00:02:40.740 I don't agree to you having your own child, though, as well.
00:02:43.920 Because...
00:02:44.200 I wouldn't.
00:02:44.660 I wouldn't.
00:02:45.760 Like, also, wouldn't you be more empathetic if we're classing it as a mistake?
00:02:49.680 If you've made a mistake...
00:02:51.540 I don't really think we should be calling it a mistake, but anyway.
00:02:53.480 But if we are, you should be more empathetic towards the other person.
00:02:56.320 You shouldn't judge someone else for making the mistake.
00:02:58.720 Again, I do judge the women a little more, because again, to make that mistake, they had 0.89
00:03:05.840 all these choices.
00:03:07.100 Remember, we broke that down earlier.
00:03:08.860 The men didn't have all these choices, and usually the woman leaves. 1.00
00:03:13.460 So I do judge the women a bit more than the men, because if they both make the first bad 1.00
00:03:18.820 choice, right, the men doesn't really get a say after that. 1.00
00:03:22.840 And especially if she leaves, then, like, what is he supposed to do?
00:03:26.120 He can't make her...
00:03:27.320 Can I ask you a question?
00:03:28.160 So say you had a little sister, then?
00:03:30.620 I do.
00:03:31.520 I have three.
00:03:32.480 Okay, so say one of your little sisters said, oh, I met a guy, and he's got a kid or two
00:03:37.540 kids.
00:03:38.680 What would you say about that?
00:03:40.080 I would say, they got no kids.
00:03:43.760 No, I would say don't do that.
00:03:46.500 That's not a good idea.
00:03:48.500 What if, you know, he treats her the best, and like, you know, at the end of the day,
00:03:54.500 you can't look at someone's situations.
00:03:56.280 It's like looking at someone's criminal record, or someone's past, or someone's, you know,
00:04:00.180 you've got to look at the current position, or how they are, and how they treat that person.
00:04:03.220 I really do think you should look at, like, if he had a criminal record, I would also say
00:04:08.000 don't date him.
00:04:09.020 So I do think you should look at that.
00:04:11.680 But I do think you should look at his past, too.
00:04:15.460 But that doesn't define the person.
00:04:17.000 It doesn't matter.
00:04:17.480 I think that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
00:04:22.440 So if you did something for five years, you're probably going to do it in the future.
00:04:26.760 But she's going to obviously have to get involved with the children. 1.00
00:04:30.280 I feel like people, like you said, people change, people grow.
00:04:34.440 People reform, people, you know, people change their lives, you know.
00:04:38.420 We're not the same people we were last week, yesterday, probably a minute ago.
00:04:42.840 So we've got to look forward, what's in the future.
00:04:46.180 One time I was dating this guy.
00:04:47.860 My dad was not a fan of.
00:04:49.820 He was not a fan.
00:04:50.640 And I said to my dad, I said, Dad, you know, do people change?
00:04:54.720 He knew I was talking about him, right?
00:04:56.580 And my dad looks at me, and he goes, yeah, they do change.
00:04:59.820 They get worse over time.
00:05:01.200 So whatever trait you see now, just expect it to get worse in 10 years.
00:05:05.320 That's not true if you commit a crime when you're a teenager.
00:05:07.560 So, you know, we can talk about these exceptions, right?
00:05:12.380 You know, but, like, over time, I think people kind of have a core of who they are.
00:05:19.000 Are you saying, like, once a cheater, always a cheater kind of thing?
00:05:22.060 Or once a whatever, always that?
00:05:23.880 I think that if you date someone that's cheated in the past, he's more likely to cheat than someone who has not cheated in the past.
00:05:30.540 So I do think that, yeah, you should look at people's past.
00:05:35.620 But I feel like it doesn't necessarily define somebody 100%, though.
00:05:40.540 Because a lot of these traumas, a lot of these situations that people have gone through, they've learned to grow from that to become the people they are today.
00:05:48.820 So I kind of disagree.
00:05:50.560 Crime completely depends on your circumstances and your class and what you're born into.
00:05:54.040 Like, you could be a good person, but you've been born in disguise.
00:05:58.440 I think that people will say, you know, Pearl, you didn't grow up in that situation, so maybe you shouldn't have an opinion.
00:06:06.140 But I do have an opinion, so I'm going to say it.
00:06:07.980 But I think that, you know, my dad grew up pretty poor and he wouldn't do that because he's not the type of guy.
00:06:14.160 I just think you're either that type of person that will do that or you aren't.
00:06:17.940 There's so many factors that contribute.
00:06:19.720 Like, your dad might have had a protective factor.
00:06:21.960 I don't know what it might be, but he might have that other people didn't have.
00:06:25.680 Like, there's so many dependencies.
00:06:27.860 He may not have seen his mom getting beaten.
00:06:29.560 He may not have suffered domestic abuse.
00:06:31.100 He may have.
00:06:31.660 He might not have had an older mentor.
00:06:33.760 We've come up with a lot of extreme situations today.
00:06:37.040 We've come up with a lot of, like, every extreme we've come up with.
00:06:41.720 I mean, it depends on what warp of life, you know, you've been around.
00:06:45.100 Because I was just going to say that.
00:06:45.920 It's not extreme.
00:06:47.180 It's not extreme.
00:06:48.660 It's the norm.
00:06:49.040 I grew up in Trinidad.
00:06:51.440 Trinidad is not the best place when it comes to crime.
00:06:55.440 I grew up, like, literally around violence.
00:06:58.860 And I was around it.
00:07:00.440 Now, I could have made a choice to be in it or stay out of it.
00:07:07.040 And not because I was in it means I was going to become that person.
00:07:10.760 So, I just believe that at the end of the day, it all boils down the choice.
00:07:15.600 And it's nothing deep.
00:07:17.200 You choose to be in it.
00:07:18.320 You choose to be out of it.
00:07:19.400 Exactly.
00:07:20.840 That's also discrimination in a sense as well.
00:07:23.180 So, he's agreeing with me.
00:07:24.540 Thank you.
00:07:24.800 You made choices.
00:07:26.320 There's also factors like ADHD, which is a risk factor.
00:07:29.960 Like, if that means you're more of a risk taker, that means it's hard for you to focus.
00:07:33.140 That means it's hard for you to see the future and be disciplined for it.
00:07:35.080 That's much deeper than what it is.
00:07:36.220 What I'm hearing is excuses.
00:07:37.880 It's not excuses.
00:07:38.800 I mean, what else would it be?
00:07:40.260 What else would it be?
00:07:41.520 No, it is.
00:07:42.260 Okay, okay, imagine I go to court.
00:07:43.660 Imagine I go to court.
00:07:44.860 Okay.
00:07:45.500 Your Honor, I'm sorry I committed this crime.
00:07:47.420 I have ADHD.
00:07:48.180 When you're on your own divergent, your brain actually works in a different way.
00:07:52.280 Everybody in themselves want to be better, right?
00:07:54.900 No matter what situation.
00:07:56.280 You want the best outcome of a situation.
00:07:59.420 The only reason you're staying in it is because, one, delusional, two, or whatever it is.
00:08:06.700 But because you want to be better, now you have that choice.
00:08:09.900 Either you stay or you don't.
00:08:12.220 That's not even discrimination.
00:08:13.600 That's just, it's up to what you personally want.
00:08:16.640 Many of you know I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:08:22.560 this platform.
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