JustPearlyThings - March 26, 2023


Pearl Tried To Reason With this Modern Woman


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

203.48384

Word count

2,091

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the benefits and drawbacks of cohabitation as a family unit and how it relates to children. We also discuss the role of fathers in raising their children and how they should be treated by society.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 what the worst thing for children is to not have a mom and a dad in a house i agree with what
00:00:04.560 um i forgot your name what you're saying pierre and what pearl saying it's the worst thing and
00:00:09.160 i feel like if you didn't want to have kids of that person then you should have been more careful
00:00:13.980 but you need to think about the children because their childhood really shapes the way they are
00:00:19.620 especially like not having a dad and i feel like you just need to firm some things and happiness
00:00:24.200 it comes and goes can i ask you a question would you rather your mom and dad were together but 0.98
00:00:29.960 you watch your dad treat your mom like like crap i would rather my mom and dad be together but 0.97
00:00:34.780 like some people have suggested different ways of going about things rather than 0.98
00:00:38.840 like someone running away like but with that with the ideology of like cohabitation and like just
00:00:45.160 living together and being unhappy and like sleeping in separate beds and like just putting on a front
00:00:49.440 for the whole family like he said the ideology of like kids like being like a sponge they absorb like
00:00:54.380 what's going on around them they are they're not stupid they are seeing what's happening your parents
00:00:58.360 are sleeping in separate beds that literally as they grow up that like tells them like oh that
00:01:02.720 like like stops them from being intimate with partners later in life because they don't see
00:01:06.320 this intimacy between their parents the two people that are learning from and living with and stuff
00:01:11.000 and they're seeing like this unhappiness that whether it's a front or not like they are
00:01:14.460 like seeing that your mom and your dad like aren't happy together so how is this like how is that
00:01:19.140 better for the kids what's what's the better better alternative they're there wait wait wait wait they're in
00:01:24.560 separate they're in separate houses and then they get to meet their girlfriends and boyfriends over
00:01:28.580 the years no i don't you should meet their other partners but i think you should be able to see
00:01:32.460 your parents happy i think you should see your parents respecting their own boundaries and it teaches
00:01:36.520 individualism rather than dependency and quite frankly that is also society now marriage and family isn't about
00:01:42.300 individualism and that's my whole point it's a me me me culture but you said yourself you said that this is a post-marriage
00:01:48.620 society so why should we be trying to backtrack on society like this is the way society is growing
00:01:53.520 like we just have to accept and move on but is it for the better though i think i think it's regardless
00:01:58.620 of whether it's for the better of society it's better for the individual like all you should really care about
00:02:03.300 is your self-worth and your self-happiness but i don't i think marriage as an institution is dead i still think
00:02:08.080 there will be families but i i think um yeah as legally as an institution i think it's dead but how would you feel
00:02:14.860 if you saw your your daughter or your son in a relationship but they weren't happy in you wouldn't
00:02:19.000 say to them because i mean i would i would rather see if i if i had a daughter let's say was that was with a guy
00:02:24.980 i didn't like yeah i probably would have warned her not to have a kid with him i'd like to say
00:02:28.980 i probably would have she were women right we do it anyway so so she has a kid with him i warned you 1.00
00:02:36.120 not to do it now you made your bed like i i would just say lie in it lie in it until he's 18
00:02:41.480 you lose so much value for yourself though when you're with someone that you know isn't good for
00:02:50.180 you or you know it isn't i don't know what like you lose value for yourself like i don't really
00:02:54.340 get that but i'm like a punishment i'm saying yeah yeah and i'm saying it's a it's a you're it's a
00:02:59.240 punishment you chose poorly but i'm a big right but i'm saying i'm saying be accountable for what you
00:03:05.040 chose you picked it you made that you made that choice and half the wait wait wait and half the half
00:03:11.160 wait and half the time women pick men they know would not be good fathers i get it i get the 0.53
00:03:19.220 value system and i i kind of get where you're coming from like respect the institution family
00:03:24.140 first i don't get that but like so what if and i suppose this also goes to the cohabiting thing
00:03:29.900 because i get it like you're still trying to make it work even though you're not sleeping together
00:03:33.360 like you're there's a separation but there's this idea that we're still here like you you can be
00:03:39.000 friends for the kids yeah so but what happens if you can see that and i'm not trying to trap you up
00:03:46.060 i'm genuinely asking like if you can see this situation you together even cohabiting cohabitating
00:03:52.040 you get along so poorly even when trying that you can see it's making the children unhappy
00:03:58.200 at that point then i would say yeah you gotta separate but at least try at least try i give will
00:04:04.360 a divorce those kids are happy bro like i've seen it i've seen it i've seen family members literally
00:04:13.520 live together for like five years and they weren't together together but they just lived in the same
00:04:19.160 house and they slept in separate rooms and i thought as even as a child like why why are they still
00:04:24.500 together but it showed like after a while for me personally it just showed strength yeah and then
00:04:30.980 after the the situation and that period where they whatever was going on between them i think it
00:04:37.480 lasted like five years maybe even longer but they ended up coming back together afterwards and for me
00:04:42.620 actually witnessing that was a beautiful thing can i can go ahead i just want to put a total spin on it
00:04:48.720 something that's sort of related but unrelated what about i'll say girls women however you want to
00:04:55.140 describe them the ones that get pregnant on purpose to keep the man that i baby yeah so i i i've been
00:05:04.220 waiting to try and get my voice heard here it does happen i know women that have done it i know men
00:05:11.400 that have done it of course yeah but but how does a man do it how does a man do it purposely coming
00:05:20.100 inside a girl yeah to get her pregnant so that she'll stay with her oh yeah but a woman can still get 1.00
00:05:26.940 rid of it the man doesn't have a choice yeah but the man can pressure them into keeping it but you still
00:05:30.600 don't have to yeah but you know men influence women no but no but you literally right but you still
00:05:38.400 literally don't have to guys let her let her finish you don't have to i knew this was a lot of
00:05:45.260 discussion so yeah so this is this is a big thing and um women will do it on purpose it doesn't matter 1.00
00:05:54.700 what age you are what background they think that's the way to keep a man to retain a relationship to
00:06:00.700 perhaps even force a man into marriage for some years that may not even last and where you were
00:06:06.300 talking about the parents staying together if that's what happens then man feels they've got
00:06:12.980 no other choice but to okay i've got married this girl she's pregnant how long is that going to last
00:06:18.080 because they're then forced into the situation they actually don't want to live together but then
00:06:23.860 they understand the responsibility of co-parenting you know if the woman has done that and the and their
00:06:32.400 father has tried and they said right i'm going to marry you or i'm going to move in with you we're 0.52
00:06:35.920 having a child together i don't like what you've done you know you forced me into it but i'm going
00:06:39.840 to try that's that's that's an exception i'd say yeah it's a good question though they're forced into
00:06:49.580 living it living with each other for the sake of the children where you said the children have to
00:06:55.000 stay together that's was he dating her first was he like dating her was it a situation there was um
00:07:03.080 one of i say one of the gyms that i used to go to um the the girl got pregnant on for purpose 0.99
00:07:12.040 thinking that would enhance a relationship force them into marriage and being able to keep the
00:07:18.180 relationship she was like dating her yeah they were dating they were dating and um they split up
00:07:24.020 and all i can say is you know there are exceptions uh the most amazing father ever he took up his
00:07:30.000 responsibilities he absolutely adores his son but he was forced into that situation but all that did
00:07:36.380 is you know they end up breaking up did they did they get married and then separate or just like
00:07:41.140 they just agreed that they couldn't make it work that they weren't interested in each other they just
00:07:44.860 decided to raise his child but like separately they were raising the child separately she forced 0.95
00:07:50.660 him into situation to try and retain the relationship yeah that's an exception i think i think the
00:07:56.100 main the main point here is like taking accountability of your purposeful actions so what
00:08:01.180 happened to the relationship like what happened to the relationship after like she like basically
00:08:05.500 baby trapped him like it broke down yeah it broke down and then did they did they try to did they
00:08:12.220 decide to like force themselves to live together and no none exactly no no none of that she forced
00:08:18.580 the situation she forced the situation which obviously he was not happy about yeah but despite the
00:08:25.340 situation and then breaking up he stepped up as the one of the most responsible amazing fathers that
00:08:32.660 you could ever meet whilst living separately though yeah yes okay most men most men would though
00:08:36.820 like most like the majority of men yeah like we think logically right and we we go out to cover
00:08:44.120 the bases i want to make sure that my child can eat i want to make sure that my child has a roof over
00:08:48.060 there and i want to make sure that my child has an education the other comfort bits we may not all be
00:08:52.820 so good at that but i'll say that in no such situation is speaking to all women who are thinking of
00:08:58.960 doing this right now to trap a man that is the best way to terminate your relationship because
00:09:05.340 that guy right there he may have he may with patience he may have he may have loved you for
00:09:11.020 life right yeah but trapping a man is a is almost the most certain most surest way to create an enemy
00:09:17.120 of like that guy will hates hates hates her existence yeah but loves his child i'm saying so it's a thing
00:09:23.500 where like that's that's that's it's it's an unproductive strategy and it doesn't work because
00:09:30.320 it's not sustainable because you haven't built that foundation and all of a sudden you're in a
00:09:33.180 really high pressure situation where you're like oh my god i'm going to deal with the child
00:09:35.860 that's a horrible thing that's a horrible horrible thing do you know what it is as well that's that's i'm
00:09:41.740 really conflicted on that because i don't really like rewarding bad behavior but at the same time like
00:09:46.400 i think it's about the kids first i don't know because you know what it is men men are more
00:09:49.880 accountable for their actions so a man in that situation is going to think do you know what
00:09:53.320 i'm not in her so i gotta look after the kids you know what i mean like no one told me to do it i did
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