JustPearlyThings - July 07, 2023


Pearl TRIGGERS Boss Babe With This Opinion


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

204.7224

Word count

2,130

Sentence count

173

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Toxicity

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the issue of who should have custody of the kids in a divorce and why it should be a 50/50 split. Who should have primary custody and who should be the primary caregiver for the kids?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 If you actually, in real life, what is driving them to leave?
00:00:03.420 So, you know, I've done a lot of these interviews, because I interview guys that have, like, that are trying to get custody of their kids.
00:00:10.480 Women can be very spiteful and use the kids as a pawn to hurt the dad. 1.00
00:00:14.840 But are men only trying to get the custody so they don't have to pay child support?
00:00:18.340 Because a lot of times there's men who fight to try to get custody because they don't want to pay high child support.
00:00:23.720 Well, one, I don't think men should pay any child support.
00:00:27.020 I think if you leave, that's on you.
00:00:31.040 That's my personal opinion.
00:00:32.480 I don't know why we're rewarding bad behavior.
00:00:34.440 What is the teamwork?
00:00:35.500 So who's the priority of the relationship?
00:00:37.500 A child?
00:00:37.900 I would say the kids, and that's why dads should be awarded custody off the bat. 0.98
00:00:41.860 Because every data statistic will tell you that single father homes fare better than single mother homes. 0.95
00:00:46.940 Well, yeah, but when parents separate, it is the as close to equal time with both parents that is the, it provides the best outcomes.
00:00:58.940 And so that is what you're aiming for, like as close to 50-50 as is humanly possible.
00:01:03.820 So let me ask you this question.
00:01:06.000 You say that men are needed to build these homes, build everything, sewage, plumage.
00:01:10.300 How are they going to do that if they have custody of the kid? 0.93
00:01:12.560 Who's going to watch the kid?
00:01:13.720 Well, I think the person that can afford the kids should have that choice.
00:01:17.680 So he can still, like, it's not like I'm saying he should never give the mother access, but I think he should have the primary decision.
00:01:25.040 So what does it mean afford?
00:01:26.340 He affords to have a nanny?
00:01:27.920 What?
00:01:28.680 He affords to have a nanny?
00:01:29.700 Well, I'd imagine men aren't as spiteful as women. 1.00
00:01:32.280 They'd be much more willing to let the mother, like, watch the kids.
00:01:35.260 The women are the ones that use the kids as a tool. 1.00
00:01:38.240 I agree with you.
00:01:39.420 I agree with you with that.
00:01:40.500 I definitely agree with you with that.
00:01:41.800 But I will still say, if you think about it, men, especially alpha males, are not putting in 40 hours a week.
00:01:48.600 They might be putting in 80 hours a week.
00:01:50.980 Who is going to, if they have custody of the children, who's going to watch the children?
00:01:54.960 So there's a man and a woman, and the woman leaves, right? 0.95
00:01:58.020 Right, right?
00:01:58.820 That's the situation we're talking about.
00:02:00.580 That's the situation that I'm talking about.
00:02:02.540 Yes.
00:02:02.920 And maybe he has to work a lot, okay?
00:02:05.100 I think he should get primary custody and decision-making because she decided to leave, and he earns more, meaning he can afford the kids.
00:02:12.380 I'm not saying that he should not let the mother see the kids.
00:02:15.420 It's, I think, when he cannot watch the kids, the mother should. 1.00
00:02:19.200 And if he's working 80 hours a week, she's going to get plenty of time with the kids.
00:02:22.300 Exactly.
00:02:22.840 So if he's working 80 hours a week, she's going to have the kids anyway.
00:02:27.360 She's the one who is teaching them their morals, their values, their cooking for them, taking care of them, teaching them everything, loving them, doing all of that.
00:02:35.200 So why would the man have primary custody?
00:02:37.120 Why?
00:02:37.280 Because he can afford it?
00:02:38.140 If he's not going to be there anyway, then what, like, you're damaging the kids now.
00:02:42.060 I mean, honestly, off the bat, I think it should be 50-50 if it's mutual, but I'm saying if the woman chooses to leave.
00:02:48.800 What if a woman is abused and she chooses to leave because she's beaten up or she's just mental abuse, various things, various scenarios, can be millions of them.
00:02:57.500 What if she chooses to leave because she cannot survive there and she would be dead if she didn't leave?
00:03:01.820 Then what then?
00:03:03.200 It's interesting how we always go to, like, the worst-case scenario.
00:03:06.260 Because it's realistic.
00:03:07.700 Yeah, but those situations do happen.
00:03:11.440 And so we would have to have safeguards so that women could escape really unhealthy relationships. 1.00
00:03:18.780 And so if there was that safeguard, but if, you know, unless you proved that you were abused, you knew that the father was going to get full custody,
00:03:29.140 then what would happen is that false allegations would skyrocket.
00:03:32.460 I just, you know, I really want to just take the whole child access issue out of the courts.
00:03:40.100 You know, you're dealing with families who are struggling to split up amicably and do what's in the best interests of their children by minimizing conflict.
00:03:49.480 And the way we respond to it is by throwing it into an adversarial court system.
00:03:54.420 It's insane.
00:03:55.500 Oh, interesting.
00:03:55.880 This is a public health issue.
00:03:58.220 Everyone involved needs to get down to the, like, psychiatrist's office.
00:04:02.220 And we need to, you know, really live.
00:04:06.020 Yeah, these kids, they need both their parents, they need all their aunties and uncles, they need their grandparents.
00:04:12.600 It's...
00:04:12.960 So you don't think the family court system should exist at all?
00:04:16.380 No.
00:04:17.000 Wow, I've never heard that view.
00:04:18.560 I agree with you.
00:04:19.380 Absolutely not at all.
00:04:20.180 Really?
00:04:20.520 I agree with you on the subject that women play up too much on all these fake allegations of X, Y, Z. 1.00
00:04:25.440 And I'm not going to mention because I can't remember the keywords.
00:04:27.780 Yeah, it did happen actually.
00:04:29.460 I hate it so much.
00:04:30.860 I think the people who falsely allege someone of a crime that they have not committed, they should be punished of an equal punishment that would have been in the court.
00:04:41.400 Yeah.
00:04:41.840 I agree with you.
00:04:43.260 But the family court system is definitely needed because let's say you're involved with a man, right?
00:04:50.180 And you think he put a condom on and he didn't.
00:04:53.400 Now you end up pregnant. 0.83
00:04:54.480 Now what?
00:04:56.080 All he has to do is just pick up and leave.
00:04:57.640 When you have a family court system to enforce that he at least pays for, helps pay for his child, like women, we already have to take care of. 1.00
00:05:05.400 Okay.
00:05:05.720 Women, we already have to take care of. 1.00
00:05:06.580 I got to stop you there.
00:05:07.820 You're telling me you didn't notice he didn't have a condom on.
00:05:10.320 There are times when you don't notice a man might slip it off.
00:05:12.800 But when you're in the moment, who's feeling like this the whole time?
00:05:15.560 What's more common, a man pulling off the condom or a woman lying about being on birth control? 0.87
00:05:21.880 No idea.
00:05:22.340 I would say a man pulling off a condom. 0.94
00:05:25.460 I would definitely say a man pulling off a condom. 0.72
00:05:27.660 I would, without a, no, a man even putting on a condom doesn't even put it on to begin with.
00:05:34.100 Where is your sample size?
00:05:35.780 Is this just in your bed?
00:05:37.820 You said where's your sample size?
00:05:39.100 Yeah.
00:05:39.760 You keep talking about like, where's the demographic we're talking about here?
00:05:43.040 Is it like specifically in your bed?
00:05:44.560 You're on birth control.
00:05:45.460 I'm talking about in general, about somebody who, you know, I travel to where I talk to
00:05:50.920 different people.
00:05:51.660 I, you know, do this.
00:05:53.100 I used to have a radio show.
00:05:54.500 Like, so I've talked to millions of people before.
00:05:57.100 And when, yeah, research.
00:05:57.880 And when you actually sit and talk to people and you find out their stories and stuff,
00:06:00.680 you, you're gathering evidence.
00:06:02.380 Well, my question is, why doesn't she require the men she sleeps with wears condoms? 1.00
00:06:07.120 You can see if they put it, like, this is so stupid. 0.99
00:06:09.620 No, you can, you can, you can see if a guy puts a condom on, but how many times do you 1.00
00:06:13.260 turn on Murray and he's taking the condom off and now she's pregnant? 1.00
00:06:16.640 Who's the daddy or trying to prove that he is the daddy?
00:06:19.180 Like, it's more common.
00:06:20.580 That happens more than we think it happens.
00:06:22.200 That is interesting though, because what is the response from the public and the audience
00:06:26.520 in situations where you get into these kind of real life stories about a man who slipped
00:06:30.980 the condom off, like people, that is not socially acceptable and people think that he is awful.
00:06:37.960 Whereas there was a clip that went quite viral.
00:06:42.300 I think it was on Oprah or something like that.
00:06:44.460 And it was, you know, an audience full of women and they're having, like, they're asking
00:06:50.000 questions and getting responses from different people.
00:06:53.980 And a woman stands up and she says, look, we have some number of kids, two or three kids.
00:07:00.980 I want another, but my husband doesn't.
00:07:04.480 Should I pretend that I'm taking my birth control, but stop.
00:07:09.120 And the entire audience, like all of these women jumped up, hollering, saying like, do
00:07:14.800 it, do it, sister.
00:07:15.780 You got to do it.
00:07:16.560 You want that kid. 0.55
00:07:17.620 Like, and that was.
00:07:18.920 I've heard. 1.00
00:07:21.340 It's stupid. 1.00
00:07:22.280 It's just stupid. 1.00
00:07:23.300 It's being stupid. 1.00
00:07:24.180 I'm just questioning. 1.00
00:07:25.740 Like, there's four guys here.
00:07:27.420 Do you guys know any woman that has lied that you think lied about being on birth control?
00:07:32.720 Yeah, it happened to me.
00:07:33.640 Yeah, that happened to you.
00:07:34.760 Tell us more.
00:07:35.720 Do you know anybody?
00:07:37.560 Do you know anybody?
00:07:38.780 Wait, I just want to raise of hands.
00:07:40.060 Just there's four guys in here.
00:07:41.760 Do you know anybody?
00:07:42.460 Why are the girls excluded? 1.00
00:07:46.160 I know the woman who's done that.
00:07:47.640 I believe.
00:07:48.740 I'm not on birth control.
00:07:49.800 Okay, well, I was going to ask the women, the women. 1.00
00:07:51.860 Have you ever been like condom where the guy said he was wearing a condom and then he took
00:07:58.160 it off and you didn't know?
00:07:59.440 That's never happened to me.
00:08:00.520 Yes.
00:08:01.180 Yes, it's happened to me.
00:08:02.700 I choose my partners wisely, so no.
00:08:04.740 No.
00:08:05.000 So, okay, so right now we got 25% and 100%.
00:08:09.340 This is random people that don't know each other, so it seems like one's more common
00:08:15.020 than the other.
00:08:16.060 They're both situations.
00:08:17.400 It's all of your lives, though.
00:08:18.700 No, I thought you talked to people, so now we're doing a random sample size.
00:08:22.900 This is a random sample size here in the UK.
00:08:25.720 First of all, men don't even try to wear condoms here in the UK.
00:08:28.300 No, I'm American.
00:08:28.320 Get out of here.
00:08:29.120 I'm American.
00:08:29.680 Get out of here.
00:08:31.040 So you should, come on now.
00:08:32.320 Let's be for real.
00:08:33.080 I'm so for real.
00:08:35.900 I don't know how you wouldn't notice.
00:08:37.960 I think that women just do that to play victim. 1.00
00:08:41.180 I'm going to be honest.
00:08:42.080 I think that's a lack of accountability.
00:08:44.200 I'm going to tell you how you're not going to notice, right?
00:08:45.700 Let's say a man is hitting it from the front, right?
00:08:48.740 And he says, flip over.
00:08:49.780 Let me hit it from the back.
00:08:51.160 And he takes it off because he's about to climax.
00:08:54.060 Hello, how am I going to know?
00:08:55.380 All I know is I'm flipping over.
00:08:56.880 I'm not going to know.
00:08:58.380 I'm just going to know the feeling like, oh, okay.
00:09:00.680 He likes this position.
00:09:01.920 I'm not going to reach down there.
00:09:03.560 Oh, let me make sure I'm in the moment.
00:09:05.420 It happens.
00:09:07.120 That's true.
00:09:08.220 It happens.
00:09:08.840 Where does it put me if I lied about not taking birth control?
00:09:14.600 What I was taking?
00:09:16.140 Oh, you lied about it?
00:09:17.800 Yes.
00:09:18.540 I was taking the birth control and I said I'm not.
00:09:21.520 Oh, you were taking it.
00:09:22.820 That's really interesting.
00:09:23.800 That's a really interesting question.
00:09:25.520 Am I good or bad or ugly?
00:09:28.000 Honestly, I have something to say.
00:09:30.640 Are you responsible?
00:09:31.220 Give it to me, baby.
00:09:34.020 I understand that a lot of men don't wear condoms, right?
00:09:36.400 Yeah, I understand that.
00:09:37.320 But I'm kind of worried if you're saying that there are men that would wear the condom
00:09:43.640 and take it off when they are about to ejaculate. 0.96
00:09:46.140 That is wild as hell. 0.99
00:09:48.300 Like, that's crazy.
00:09:49.360 They want to have babies. 0.98
00:09:50.560 No, no.
00:09:51.300 It sounds like a crazy concept, but it is more common than what you think.
00:09:55.400 It is more common than what you think.
00:09:56.880 You need to think about the kind of men that would do that. 0.90
00:09:59.800 That's the point I'm trying to make.
00:10:01.520 Those are not stable individuals.
00:10:03.520 I live in New York. 0.89
00:10:04.360 Everyone's crazy there. 0.97
00:10:05.300 Every single person is crazy there, right? 0.89
00:10:07.540 So you would be surprised how many women I have come across that have said this exact
00:10:12.500 same thing.
00:10:13.100 Like, men, if they're in it and it's feeling good, they will feel it.
00:10:16.520 They're all sleeping with the same guys.
00:10:18.460 That proves the problem.
00:10:19.660 All sleeping with the same, which goes back to my point.
00:10:22.800 They're picking the same kind of men.