JustPearlyThings - October 01, 2023


Pearl Went To Therapy... @MissDinalva


Episode Stats


Length

52 minutes

Words per minute

142.70755

Word count

7,541

Sentence count

840

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Denalva Denalva is a freelance therapist who is here to help you find your true self. She has all the qualifications and qualifications to be a therapist, but she has also been a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, which is where you fall in love with your abuser. Do you know what Stockholm Syndrome is?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Inalva?
00:00:05.000 Oh, Pearl. Welcome, welcome. Come on in.
00:00:08.700 Stockholm Syndrome.
00:00:10.440 Okay.
00:00:11.300 Did you say Stockholm Syndrome?
00:00:13.200 Do you understand the concept?
00:00:15.940 Isn't that where you fall in love with an abuser?
00:00:19.220 Uh, coerce people?
00:00:20.920 Do you tell people to do things that they do not want to do?
00:00:23.200 I mean, I say set up the camera.
00:00:26.740 Can you get my mic?
00:00:29.000 Mandate.
00:00:30.700 It's controlling.
00:00:32.240 And it is something that is in disgust.
00:00:36.660 Am I paying for this?
00:00:38.400 The first session is pro bono from now on.
00:00:41.120 It will be £500 a minute, like I said.
00:00:43.280 We've got 25 sessions on the books for now.
00:00:46.400 How do you rate yourself out of 10?
00:00:49.800 What would you say?
00:00:52.340 Like a 5.
00:00:54.140 If you love yourself, you will know that you are a 10 out of 10, Pearl.
00:00:57.740 Is that why you have not yet started your OnlyFans page?
00:01:02.060 I am feeling like an emotional revolutionary, ready to change lives, inspire people, and put them on a better emotional path with more maturity and life.
00:01:12.520 You know, I'm feeling good.
00:01:14.240 The internet keeps saying that I need therapy.
00:01:17.580 So, I decided, why not give it a shot?
00:01:22.580 I have an open mind.
00:01:24.180 You know, I always said, no, no, therapy's bad.
00:01:29.760 You know, it's all crazy ladies. 1.00
00:01:31.680 But I was like, you know what, Pearl, you can come in with an open mind.
00:01:35.820 Pearl will learn the truth about herself.
00:01:39.420 You know, she will find herself within herself and just love herself. 0.77
00:01:44.060 She will be herself.
00:01:45.820 My ideal therapist would be a guy.
00:01:48.580 Women therapists are usually insane. 1.00
00:01:52.240 They usually make your problems worse.
00:01:54.820 And they act like you have all this trauma and emotional abuse or blah, blah, blah.
00:02:01.940 So, ideally, it would be a nice older man that really could give me, like, fatherly advice or just, like, very stoic and wise.
00:02:12.520 I mean, I have four sisters.
00:02:15.040 You know, I've got a lot of girlfriends.
00:02:17.060 I give them a lot of advice.
00:02:19.220 I'm smart.
00:02:21.160 You know, I'm a freelance therapist, really.
00:02:23.460 No qualification, but a lot of knowledge and wisdom.
00:02:26.780 Well, I don't know.
00:02:28.420 I don't know.
00:02:29.120 Don't they, like, find the problems for you?
00:02:32.820 I mean, look it.
00:02:34.260 I live a great life.
00:02:35.660 I had an awesome childhood.
00:02:38.000 Now I'm here.
00:02:38.780 I'm doing awesome.
00:02:39.860 Life is awesome.
00:02:40.680 But the Internet keeps saying that I need this therapy.
00:02:45.140 And, you know, now all the women are coming out and they have this emotional abuse. 1.00
00:02:49.540 So I say, well, if the bar for emotional abuse is yelling, then maybe I just have trauma and emotional abuse because everyone's been emotionally abused.
00:03:00.100 Da-da-da-da-da-da.
00:03:00.920 So, you know, I guess solve my trauma.
00:03:04.640 These women will come in. 1.00
00:03:05.940 They'll say, I need therapy.
00:03:07.460 And then they'll bully me.
00:03:08.900 You know, it's like they'll attack my face, which I can't help.
00:03:14.400 They'll say I don't dress well.
00:03:16.740 They'll go after my family.
00:03:19.520 They'll contact my ex-boyfriend.
00:03:26.040 They'll harass me online.
00:03:27.980 They'll call me a grifter.
00:03:29.380 They'll call me, like, whatever they want to call me.
00:03:32.080 They'll just call me names.
00:03:34.260 They'll call me ugly, stupid.
00:03:36.480 Da-da-da-da-da. 0.90
00:03:37.420 And I just think to myself, well, I didn't need therapy before, but maybe I do now.
00:03:44.180 I will give her this because I believe in my services and I know this is going to be revolutionary for Pearl.
00:03:50.360 I'm giving her this as a pro bono.
00:03:52.440 And then from here on forth, it's going to be 500 pounds per minute.
00:03:57.020 I'm ready.
00:03:57.840 I'm ready for, I'm ready to heal my trauma.
00:04:02.600 And Alva?
00:04:08.160 Oh, Pearl, welcome, welcome.
00:04:10.480 Come on in.
00:04:11.720 Take a seat.
00:04:12.680 Make yourself comfortable.
00:04:14.660 I hope that you are ready to change your life.
00:04:20.680 Very good.
00:04:21.600 Welcome, Pearl.
00:04:22.340 Okay, so I walk in.
00:04:24.520 And not only did they give me a female therapist, they gave me Denalva.
00:04:34.540 Denalva and I go way back.
00:04:36.260 Denalva is the craziest woman I know. 1.00
00:04:39.300 And they have given me her for therapy?
00:04:42.700 For therapy?
00:04:45.080 And this is what I mean.
00:04:46.240 You go to therapy, they make you crazier.
00:04:48.640 Now, I'll have an open mind.
00:04:50.980 Maybe Denalva has all these credentials and she really knows how to, you know, give you a better life.
00:04:57.300 But I see this as going forward.
00:04:59.700 I'd like to say it's very brave of you to take this step into, you know, finding the solution, to finding your true self and coming to an acceptance of who you truly are.
00:05:13.820 So please, make yourself comfortable.
00:05:16.000 It's okay if you at any point need a tissue, you know, you can get really emotional.
00:05:21.440 You might feel teary at times.
00:05:23.580 A tissue?
00:05:24.860 Yes, it's part of the process.
00:05:27.020 You'll understand.
00:05:28.080 It's okay.
00:05:28.500 I'm very good at what I do.
00:05:31.020 So, Pearl, how are you feeling today?
00:05:34.100 Tell me.
00:05:35.460 Um, surprised, I'll just say.
00:05:38.920 Surprised.
00:05:39.680 Surprised.
00:05:40.600 Okay.
00:05:41.600 I'm sure.
00:05:43.220 Okay.
00:05:43.860 And this is a very simple process.
00:05:46.920 My job here is not to tell you any judgments or put any pressure on you.
00:05:53.160 I'm simply here to guide you through a conversation that will ultimately get you to understand who you truly are.
00:05:59.300 To accept yourself, to be comfortable in your shoes and to understand your traumas.
00:06:05.020 My traumas.
00:06:07.280 We all have them, darling.
00:06:09.320 It's part of being human.
00:06:11.760 So, it's very simple.
00:06:13.120 Let me just start with a few questions about where usually it all begins your childhood.
00:06:18.060 Tell me about your childhood.
00:06:19.120 So, I had, I had nine siblings.
00:06:23.340 Oh, big family.
00:06:24.400 When I was growing up, there were six in the house.
00:06:26.680 I was the second oldest.
00:06:28.180 Okay.
00:06:28.980 Two married parents.
00:06:31.080 We had a software company.
00:06:33.440 Life was good.
00:06:34.440 I played a lot of volleyball.
00:06:35.720 I did, I did good.
00:06:37.520 Okay.
00:06:38.160 So, obviously in the house with a lot of, a lot of people and parents that are together at times that, I'm sure it must be so difficult for you to express yourself and have emotional support sometimes with so many people around you.
00:06:51.800 No.
00:06:52.920 It was pretty easy.
00:06:54.120 In denial.
00:06:56.260 It was, did you say I was in denial?
00:06:59.180 Don't worry.
00:06:59.680 These are just notes for myself.
00:07:01.660 Oh, okay.
00:07:02.680 Well, yeah, no, I liked it.
00:07:03.940 It was good, good childhood.
00:07:05.760 Good childhood.
00:07:06.860 Okay.
00:07:07.200 Are you sure?
00:07:08.140 Yeah.
00:07:08.920 Okay.
00:07:10.380 You say you played a lot of sports.
00:07:12.480 Mm-hmm.
00:07:13.700 How did that affect your femininity? 1.00
00:07:17.000 Made me a bit of a tomboy.
00:07:18.980 Tomboy, okay.
00:07:20.940 Do you have any issues with identifying yourself?
00:07:25.580 What is your pronoun, Po?
00:07:28.860 Do you ask me what my pronoun is?
00:07:31.660 Okay, still in denial.
00:07:34.440 I'm a woman.
00:07:35.120 I'm a...
00:07:35.200 I'm a...
00:07:36.600 Okay, sorry.
00:07:40.000 I'm a woman.
00:07:41.620 You are a woman.
00:07:42.840 Okay.
00:07:45.000 Need to come to grips for questions.
00:07:51.040 Identity and gender.
00:07:53.180 Okay.
00:07:55.100 And, um, Pearl, tell me, what is your relationship like with your parents?
00:08:02.380 Um, good.
00:08:03.500 Yeah.
00:08:03.880 Um, my, my dad, I always talk about.
00:08:07.000 He's like the best person I know on the planet ever.
00:08:11.020 Okay.
00:08:11.640 My mom's also awesome.
00:08:13.640 You know, she's been on the channel a couple times, but the internet kind of comes after
00:08:17.440 them sometimes, which is a bit.
00:08:19.940 So I kind of, I've stopped putting them on as much, but they're both awesome people.
00:08:24.240 You know, I don't know anyone better than my parents.
00:08:27.120 Okay.
00:08:28.020 Um, it may just be that you hear, you may be expressing a slight unrealistic reality of
00:08:39.960 your relationship with your parents.
00:08:41.240 No one is perfect, no one is the best.
00:08:43.960 An unrealistic reality.
00:08:46.540 So why do you ask me questions if you don't think my answers are real?
00:08:51.920 Oh, oh.
00:08:53.000 Like I told you, I'm here to guide you.
00:08:55.420 All right.
00:08:55.700 And to help you to find yourself in your true truth and your true light, Pearl.
00:08:59.500 Um, do you think that your relationship with your father may have given you unrealistic expectations
00:09:06.980 of men?
00:09:11.240 No, I just expect they're not going to be as good as him.
00:09:19.280 Okay.
00:09:20.020 Because most people aren't as good as him.
00:09:22.000 My dad's just a very nice human.
00:09:25.640 Um, okay.
00:09:27.720 I'm around my dad.
00:09:28.880 I just want to be a better person.
00:09:30.720 Like it's inspiring actually.
00:09:33.140 So no, I mean, my dad always told me to actually have like no expectations of anybody.
00:09:38.740 Okay.
00:09:39.040 He said, expect the worst and if they impress you, then be happy.
00:09:44.920 Okay.
00:09:46.360 Um, it seems like your dad's voice and presence in your life is quite important.
00:09:52.000 And I think that perhaps for the next session, uh, we should potentially consider exploring,
00:09:58.500 uh, what we call in our professional field, daddy issues.
00:10:01.980 Um, I think it might be something worth us looking at, but we'll go into more detail about this.
00:10:07.860 Daddy issues.
00:10:08.760 Because I said my dad was awesome.
00:10:11.640 Uh, don't worry, Paul.
00:10:13.080 We'll go into that.
00:10:13.820 It's no need to feel nervous and defensive.
00:10:15.980 I do know that this can be a triggering moment and process.
00:10:19.080 I mean, I just don't understand.
00:10:20.860 It's like.
00:10:21.840 And also confused and blue.
00:10:25.980 Okay.
00:10:26.800 What is this therapy session?
00:10:29.080 It's okay.
00:10:29.580 You just need to be open-minded.
00:10:31.520 Just accept the experience.
00:10:33.480 All right, okay, I'm, I'm, I'm accepting.
00:10:35.080 Yes, okay.
00:10:36.080 Therapy totally makes you.
00:10:37.520 Uh, it helps, it helps.
00:10:39.480 It helps you to find your true self and tell me about your relationship with your mother.
00:10:43.600 What, what is that like?
00:10:45.360 My, my mom growing up, um, would pick me up from practice.
00:10:50.660 We'd listen to country songs on the way back.
00:10:54.300 My mom, um, she, she's a really nice woman.
00:10:58.700 You know, she's really kind, caring.
00:11:00.320 Um, she adopted three kids, so that takes a really nice, kind, caring person. 0.74
00:11:07.380 Okay.
00:11:09.320 All right.
00:11:09.920 This is good.
00:11:10.700 You have a powerful mother figure.
00:11:13.980 Uh, did your mother work?
00:11:16.360 Um, she worked for my dad.
00:11:18.860 Yeah, they, they worked together.
00:11:20.920 Okay, so they had what we would call an unhealthy, dependent relationship.
00:11:25.940 Would you agree with that?
00:11:27.140 Wait, wait.
00:11:28.740 Okay.
00:11:29.220 It's, married people have an unhealthy, dependent relationship on each other. 1.00
00:11:36.900 Okay.
00:11:37.600 Well, I think that, you know, do you need a tissue?
00:11:42.220 Is there, you know, your, your stress levels?
00:11:45.240 I can sense your energy.
00:11:47.680 And it seems like you may be a bit nervous.
00:11:49.900 I'm not, not nervous, just a little, a little confused how that makes sense.
00:11:56.200 Open-minded, open-minded.
00:11:57.700 This is the, that's the key to this process.
00:11:59.500 Okay, yeah, yeah.
00:12:00.420 So, you've got what you described as a good relationship with your mother.
00:12:04.780 Um, is your mother somebody that you can speak to?
00:12:08.500 Do you feel like this?
00:12:09.700 Because you mentioned your father, somebody you can go to.
00:12:11.780 What about your mother?
00:12:12.380 Yeah, if I have a, if I have a problem, I can go to my mom or my dad.
00:12:16.880 I'm very lucky.
00:12:17.800 You're very lucky.
00:12:19.260 You talk about your problems a lot.
00:12:23.800 Do I talk about my problems a lot?
00:12:25.840 I mean, I'm a woman.
00:12:26.640 We always whine.
00:12:28.080 Okay.
00:12:29.120 Is exhibiting early signs of potential anxiety slash mental incapacity to accept her happiness and positivity.
00:12:45.600 Okay.
00:12:45.960 Uh, Pearl, Pearl, um, I think that obviously I can tell by your reaction to my questions that family might be a really, um, touchy subject for us to speak on.
00:12:57.900 So, we'll unfold this one on our following session.
00:13:00.600 Obviously, um, after this, I'm looking to book another, maybe five sessions with you for you to really get the full benefit of the experience.
00:13:10.500 Um, let's leave your family for now.
00:13:12.740 Let's leave your family. 0.99
00:13:13.400 Let's move forward.
00:13:14.880 Let's move forward to your high school.
00:13:17.360 You said you played sport, correct?
00:13:19.440 I did.
00:13:20.800 Uh, did you have friends?
00:13:22.740 I did.
00:13:24.100 Okay.
00:13:25.180 What were your friends like?
00:13:27.740 Um, they were good.
00:13:30.040 I, I was friends with, um, two friends were, like, my best friends in high school.
00:13:35.780 I hung out with them a lot.
00:13:36.820 And then I just had different friends, like, cure there, you know?
00:13:41.480 Okay.
00:13:42.020 So, maybe, I played a lot of sports, so I might have had a couple on one team, a couple on another.
00:13:46.980 Um, I think I, I did some clubs, too.
00:13:50.200 I don't remember what, but, yeah, life was good.
00:13:53.700 Do you believe that, um, you may have used sport as a way to, you know, have friends?
00:14:02.280 Yes.
00:14:04.760 Did I use sport as a way to have friends?
00:14:07.160 Yes.
00:14:07.560 I mean, I made friends through sports.
00:14:12.300 Okay.
00:14:12.940 In denial of need for acceptance of other people, using sport as a tool to achieve friendships.
00:14:21.340 I went into sports because my parents enrolled me in sports and I liked it.
00:14:25.320 Now, did I, did I make friends through sports?
00:14:28.980 Sure.
00:14:30.520 Um, and what if I did, so what, this is what these crazy ladies do. 1.00
00:14:34.900 They make something into nothing.
00:14:36.560 Okay, let's say I, I, I, I started sports to make friends.
00:14:41.240 Is that a bad thing?
00:14:42.920 Is that, is that, is that wrong?
00:14:45.580 But, no, I started, I played basketball when I was, like, seven.
00:14:50.780 Well, I was making decisions at seven.
00:14:52.640 No, my parents put me in it.
00:14:55.380 Okay.
00:14:56.380 Um, this is, this is great.
00:14:58.920 You're doing very well, Pearl.
00:15:00.040 Um, I heard, well, I read on your podcast,
00:15:06.560 profile that, uh, because of your insatiable need to have validation and receive attention
00:15:16.160 from people and to be able to make friends, you are labeled as a pick me.
00:15:21.500 Is that correct?
00:15:22.160 Yeah, yeah, they labeled me as a pick me.
00:15:26.200 Okay.
00:15:27.120 So, obviously, you do not get enough attention.
00:15:30.240 And why do you think people call you a pick me?
00:15:33.560 They're idiots.
00:15:35.380 Okay, aggression.
00:15:37.700 Okay.
00:15:38.300 And why do you think they are idiots for calling you a pick me?
00:15:40.860 Um, because it's usually if I say something they don't like, they get, they'll say, oh,
00:15:46.340 she's just saying that because she wants to get picked.
00:15:49.640 But really, they're just kind of dumb.
00:15:52.980 Like, they can't, they can't think about what I'm saying.
00:15:55.880 I'll give you an example.
00:15:57.460 I say, hey, fat chicks are fat. 1.00
00:16:01.620 And they get mad at me.
00:16:03.040 But, I mean, what did you, they're fat.
00:16:05.440 Okay.
00:16:06.200 And how does that make you feel?
00:16:08.540 To say those things or when they call me that?
00:16:11.680 Both.
00:16:13.780 Um,
00:16:14.260 I cry myself to sleep every night just thinking about how much they just get to me.
00:16:25.040 Just kidding.
00:16:26.300 Um, no, I think, I think they're idiots.
00:16:28.880 I think they're dummies.
00:16:30.060 I think, you know, um, I don't really care.
00:16:34.980 It doesn't affect me.
00:16:36.200 The internet land.
00:16:38.220 Avoidance deficit.
00:16:39.940 Okay.
00:16:40.420 Did you say avoidance deficit?
00:16:41.780 Sometimes it's natural for us to, you know, run away from the truth.
00:16:46.800 For us to run away from how we feel about how other people feel towards us.
00:16:51.620 Um, is there a potential chance that at times you have a safe, self-hate?
00:16:59.280 You talk to yourself in a negative light.
00:17:04.060 Do I have, do I have self-hate?
00:17:06.020 Yes.
00:17:07.000 I mean.
00:17:09.160 I mean, let me explain to you why I ask you this question.
00:17:11.780 Do I have self-hate?
00:17:13.200 Yes.
00:17:13.820 Um, I think there's qualities about yourself that you like.
00:17:17.260 Yes.
00:17:17.740 And you don't like.
00:17:18.980 Um, so are there things about myself I dislike?
00:17:22.360 Yeah.
00:17:23.260 But are there things about myself that I like?
00:17:26.060 Okay.
00:17:26.360 Yeah.
00:17:27.440 Um, so if I were to ask you, how do you rate yourself out of 10?
00:17:34.440 What would you say?
00:17:36.980 Like a 5?
00:17:38.960 Okay.
00:17:39.580 Do you, do you understand that, that, how that is an unrealistic and an insecure expression
00:17:46.320 of how you feel, how you view yourself?
00:17:49.680 Because I think I'm average?
00:17:51.080 If you love yourself, you will know that you are a 10 out of 10, Pearl.
00:17:57.200 This is very concerning.
00:17:58.740 I think that your unrealistic judgment of yourself does...
00:18:02.840 So I should, I should rate myself a 10?
00:18:05.380 Yes.
00:18:05.780 Uh, and that is the reason why I must conclude that you also need to get some work done and
00:18:12.260 we need to have a conversation about self-hate because you must not really like yourself a
00:18:17.380 lot.
00:18:18.040 Um, I have also noticed, um, you don't wear much makeup, do you?
00:18:22.860 Not much, no.
00:18:24.060 Do you hate yourself because of that?
00:18:26.180 Do you hate your beauty?
00:18:27.080 Because I don't wear makeup.
00:18:30.360 You must be insecure.
00:18:32.920 Why do you not wear any makeup?
00:18:34.820 Okay.
00:18:35.340 Because I have better things to do.
00:18:38.460 Okay.
00:18:38.740 It feels uncomfortable with loving oneself.
00:18:41.700 Okay.
00:18:42.360 No problem.
00:18:43.620 Uh, would you say that you are an insecure person in general?
00:18:47.240 No.
00:18:48.140 No?
00:18:48.520 Why then?
00:18:50.540 Why am I not insecure?
00:18:52.120 Yeah, why?
00:18:53.600 Um, because I think that the world labels being realistic with insecurity.
00:19:02.280 And I think most people have room for improvement.
00:19:05.680 So, I mean, I think the most insecure people are the ones that rate themselves 10s, put on
00:19:12.600 a bunch of makeup, and talk about how awesome they are all the time.
00:19:17.220 Okay.
00:19:17.620 Me, on the other hand, I just think I'm a normal chick.
00:19:20.560 I think I'm good at some stuff.
00:19:21.760 I think I'm bad at other stuff.
00:19:24.220 Okay.
00:19:25.060 So, do you believe that you may perhaps be envious of the fact that other people wear
00:19:31.860 makeup and you must present yourself in your natural form?
00:19:36.260 No.
00:19:37.800 Okay.
00:19:38.280 Denial.
00:19:38.760 It's really important for you, Pearl, to be really honest, to be very open, and to
00:19:45.320 really embrace the experience so that we can get to the truth in the bottom of how you've
00:19:50.560 come to be here.
00:19:51.700 Obviously, you must be distressed right now.
00:19:53.700 If you need a tissue at any point, do let me know because we're about to get into something
00:19:57.620 very serious.
00:19:58.200 I'm not.
00:19:58.220 I'm not distressed.
00:19:59.940 Okay.
00:20:00.440 It's okay.
00:20:01.180 Calm down.
00:20:02.140 Okay?
00:20:02.360 I'm not.
00:20:03.660 I'm not.
00:20:04.160 You are fine.
00:20:04.900 This is a safe place.
00:20:05.540 I'm not.
00:20:06.240 I'm not even.
00:20:07.600 Okay.
00:20:09.500 Patience shows a lot of signs of denial and self-hate.
00:20:14.640 Okay, Pearl, I think that we need to discuss something that nowadays is very much the norm,
00:20:24.320 and I think the fact that you oppose it may indicate that you may have some sort of social
00:20:31.860 anxiety disorder and a rebellion against wanting to fit in and belong to society.
00:20:39.100 Is that why you have not yet started your OnlyFans page?
00:20:43.060 Um, are you saying that I don't fit in because I haven't started my OnlyFans?
00:20:56.200 It is 2023, Pearl.
00:20:58.040 I think that you have a very strong desire to oppose progress, to oppose the norm, to oppose
00:21:06.760 the society that you live in.
00:21:08.420 Is that down to your self-hate that you mentioned earlier?
00:21:12.020 Um, no.
00:21:20.260 Okay.
00:21:21.380 So, why is it that you feel the need to rebel against starting your own OnlyFans page?
00:21:30.380 I didn't really want to sell my ass for $5.99.
00:21:34.320 Okay, so you have some body insecurities?
00:21:39.780 Oh, doesn't everybody?
00:21:41.980 Okay.
00:21:43.780 Does anyone have a perfect body?
00:21:45.760 Topic.
00:21:46.200 Um, do you feel maybe afraid that you might not make any money if you start your OnlyFans?
00:21:52.820 Could that be the reason of why you're holding yourself back from...
00:21:56.820 Is it hard to sell ass pictures?
00:21:59.260 Okay.
00:22:01.100 Uh, let's try to stay away from avoiding the question by asking questions.
00:22:06.480 Why is it that you have not started your OnlyFans?
00:22:10.340 It's just I didn't want to.
00:22:12.680 And why is that?
00:22:16.740 Um, better things to do.
00:22:20.420 Okay.
00:22:22.280 Morals.
00:22:23.420 Yes.
00:22:24.180 Okay.
00:22:24.480 You know, daddy, no daddy issues, so, you know, having a dad in my life.
00:22:31.200 Okay.
00:22:32.900 So, you have...
00:22:34.480 You, here, uh, just to give you some insight into my observation so far, um, it's very important
00:22:40.880 for you to start recognizing within you that, um, you may have a narcissistic, uh, outlook
00:22:49.020 on life where you, uh, hide your insecurities through thinking there's better things out
00:22:57.320 there.
00:22:57.760 Okay, wait.
00:22:58.300 And not wanting to fit in.
00:22:59.660 I'm a narcissist who hides my insecurities on life by thinking I don't need to fit in.
00:23:08.800 Yes.
00:23:11.320 Um...
00:23:11.880 I mean, you must be right.
00:23:16.060 Is that why you hate fat people as well?
00:23:19.020 Um, I don't hate fat people.
00:23:22.380 I just don't like looking at them.
00:23:25.260 Okay.
00:23:26.100 Is it because you may reflect yourself on them?
00:23:30.600 Potentially?
00:23:32.060 I mean...
00:23:32.640 No, I just don't like watching the blubber, like...
00:23:35.760 Okay.
00:23:37.520 I do understand.
00:23:38.740 What is your relationship with food?
00:23:40.500 I mean, I think we need to delve into that.
00:23:42.160 It seems like it may come from that space.
00:23:45.280 How...
00:23:45.580 I mean, I like food.
00:23:47.200 Okay.
00:23:47.600 I like sugar.
00:23:49.100 Sugar.
00:23:49.720 Like sweets.
00:23:51.040 Okay.
00:23:52.320 So, you may also have a sugar-induced, hyperactive mind.
00:23:58.180 Uh, do you...
00:24:00.540 Do you just make a bullshit for a living?
00:24:03.680 Well, it's okay to, you know, be defensive sometimes.
00:24:07.340 I do understand this is a very difficult process to go through.
00:24:10.300 And given everything that you have already experienced with being online and having all this attention that brought you all the way to therapy to come and help yourself and fix yourself.
00:24:18.900 I think that it's really, really important that, you know, just embrace the process.
00:24:23.200 All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, my fault, my fault.
00:24:24.740 Okay.
00:24:25.060 Embrace.
00:24:25.380 Embrace.
00:24:25.460 I apologize.
00:24:26.680 Embrace.
00:24:26.880 It's troubling my narcissistic tendencies.
00:24:29.440 Exactly.
00:24:30.060 And this is what we're trying to fix here.
00:24:31.540 We're trying to make you better so that you can be more accepted and more loved by the world and also by yourself.
00:24:37.480 Uh, Pearl, uh, one thing that concerns me a lot is your self-hate and the lack of self-love.
00:24:43.940 And I need to understand where this stems from.
00:24:47.380 Um, Pearl, uh, I do understand that you have been in a relationship that is being brought up online very often.
00:24:55.300 Um, do you feel upset for being exposed, for being a victim of obviously what seems to be a very real and emotionally disturbing relationship?
00:25:10.840 No, it was, it was fine.
00:25:13.100 It was fine.
00:25:13.980 Okay.
00:25:14.860 Uh, were you previously engaged to this person?
00:25:17.800 I know that there's some videos circulating around that indicate that you may have been.
00:25:23.460 No.
00:25:23.980 It was, like, it was, like, we would fake, like, videos, like, we would pretend, but it wasn't.
00:25:31.920 Uh, Pearl, uh, have you ever been emotionally abused or disturbed, uh, before?
00:25:44.200 Well, I mean, the bar for emotional abuse is, like, freaking anything.
00:25:49.100 So, I'll hear, I'll hear these women online say, oh, I was emotionally abused. 1.00
00:25:54.700 And, like, what was it?
00:25:56.000 Oh, he yelled at me.
00:25:56.880 I'm like, bitch, you've never been yelled at?
00:25:59.700 That's, like, that's, that's the bar for emotional, or I'll see, oh, I can't go to the club.
00:26:05.040 Emotional abuse.
00:26:06.100 Oh, you can't wear that.
00:26:07.520 Emotional abuse.
00:26:08.620 Oh, you can't do that.
00:26:09.920 Emotional abuse.
00:26:10.640 So, I'm like, if this is emotional abuse, then I've been emotionally abused.
00:26:15.260 I have just gone, I have just gone through all of this trauma.
00:26:19.620 That's all I hear about.
00:26:20.980 Yes.
00:26:21.360 So, you have been told no before.
00:26:23.200 What?
00:26:23.740 You have been told no before.
00:26:26.020 Everyone has.
00:26:27.080 Someone has raised their voice at you before.
00:26:28.820 I mean, I totaled my car when I was, or I didn't total it, but I almost totaled my car when I was 16, and, yeah, my dad was pissed.
00:26:37.300 Okay.
00:26:38.640 Victim of extensive and heightened emotional disturbances.
00:26:47.940 Pearl, I'm really sorry to hear about that.
00:26:50.220 It must have been really difficult.
00:26:51.120 It's all right.
00:26:51.600 I deserved it.
00:26:52.960 Okay.
00:26:54.500 And still suffers from Stockholm Syndrome.
00:26:58.820 Okay.
00:26:59.840 Did you say Stockholm Syndrome?
00:27:01.760 Do you understand the concept?
00:27:04.480 Isn't that where you fall in love with an abuser?
00:27:07.560 Okay.
00:27:08.620 Do you love men?
00:27:11.260 Not every man.
00:27:13.100 I love my dad, but he yelled at me because I crashed my car.
00:27:17.600 Okay.
00:27:18.300 I love my, what's, okay.
00:27:20.060 Let me get this straight.
00:27:22.920 Nobody grew up in a perfect family.
00:27:25.700 My family wasn't perfect.
00:27:27.160 Your family wasn't perfect.
00:27:28.420 But am I going to whine and cry because my dad yelled at me when I was 16 because, I don't know, I crashed my car.
00:27:38.900 Let me get this straight.
00:27:39.840 You do something stupid.
00:27:41.500 Your dad yells at you, and you're a victim.
00:27:44.740 Maybe I shouldn't have crashed my car.
00:27:50.500 Diagnosis confirmed.
00:27:52.100 Okay.
00:27:53.240 Pearl, I'm sorry for knowing that you went through this experience.
00:27:58.200 But it does explain a lot why you hate yourself and you struggle to just be comfortable in who you are and why you may have become a pick me.
00:28:09.400 I believe that this may be one of the symptoms that comes with being emotionally disturbed by people raising their voice at you, telling you no, disagreeing with you.
00:28:18.680 I know, it's very difficult and you don't have to go through this, you don't have to accept that it's okay, Pearl.
00:28:25.320 We will find the solution to this problem as well.
00:28:27.800 We will work through the kinks out of this abuse and make you feel better and more healthy.
00:28:32.580 Are you okay?
00:28:33.660 You seem a bit disturbed.
00:28:34.740 Would you like a tissue?
00:28:36.420 No, I'm okay.
00:28:37.640 It's okay.
00:28:38.680 It's okay to cry.
00:28:39.760 This is one of the prescriptions that I will give you after this session.
00:28:45.060 A little bit more crying.
00:28:46.880 Okay.
00:28:47.940 Okay.
00:28:49.000 Do financial abuse.
00:28:51.080 Okay.
00:28:51.640 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:28:54.640 Pearl, have you ever bought a man anything in your life?
00:29:00.540 Yeah, no, I have.
00:29:01.560 Okay.
00:29:02.040 I bought...
00:29:04.040 I bought a guy...
00:29:09.040 I bought an ex-boyfriend a nice watch.
00:29:14.520 Oh, okay.
00:29:17.380 That is very concerning.
00:29:21.420 As a woman...
00:29:23.260 It was his birthday.
00:29:25.360 Okay.
00:29:26.500 Financially exploited by dependent.
00:29:32.920 Okay.
00:29:33.600 I was exploited?
00:29:35.200 Have you ever paid for a meal before?
00:29:37.200 Yeah.
00:29:39.580 Further confirmation of diagnosis.
00:29:42.320 Okay.
00:29:42.920 And how did that make you feel?
00:29:46.160 I mean, I was hungry.
00:29:49.280 Okay, Pearl.
00:29:50.220 No humor.
00:29:51.040 Let's take this seriously.
00:29:52.680 How do you feel about being financially exploited by men, potentially by others, when, as a woman,
00:30:01.520 and you should never pay for anything at any time, any moment possible?
00:30:08.300 I mean, I guess if it was free, that would have been nice.
00:30:12.320 Okay.
00:30:13.340 Uses humor to avoid dealing with her reality.
00:30:19.000 Okay, Pearl.
00:30:21.380 Do you still pay for things?
00:30:25.820 Yes.
00:30:26.960 Okay.
00:30:28.380 And why do you pay for these things?
00:30:33.120 Is it because, potentially, you may have an unhealthy relationship with people and money,
00:30:38.580 given the fact that, obviously, you have had a lot of people working under you,
00:30:45.600 and from what online is discussing, you have also now reflected how much you have been financially exploited onto others.
00:30:54.100 Is that correct?
00:30:56.140 No.
00:30:57.160 Okay.
00:30:57.940 Let's go into more detail.
00:30:59.520 Can you explain why you've financially exploited others?
00:31:06.100 They say this is the best job they've ever had.
00:31:09.200 Okay.
00:31:09.880 Denial.
00:31:11.020 Okay.
00:31:11.940 And how much did they give you to be able to have this job?
00:31:17.800 No one gave me anything.
00:31:20.860 Okay.
00:31:21.740 All right.
00:31:22.240 That clears that up.
00:31:23.080 Financial exploitation and financial boundaries is something that, potentially, you may have to discuss very soon.
00:31:32.360 Yes, you wanted to say something.
00:31:37.620 I'm just speechless.
00:31:39.980 Do you feel that, at times, you may tell people what to do?
00:31:48.860 I mean, sometimes, yeah.
00:31:51.140 I mean, people work for me.
00:31:52.400 Okay.
00:31:52.900 Okay.
00:31:54.240 So, controlling.
00:31:55.740 And what does that look like?
00:31:58.760 Do you coerce people?
00:32:02.180 Do you tell people to do things that they do not want to do?
00:32:04.480 I mean, I say, set up the camera.
00:32:07.960 Okay.
00:32:08.340 Can you get my mic?
00:32:10.220 Demanding.
00:32:11.500 And...
00:32:11.540 Sometimes, the intern gets coffee.
00:32:14.180 Okay.
00:32:15.440 Okay.
00:32:15.520 Also, has a royalty perception of herself. 1.00
00:32:23.100 A royalty perception?
00:32:24.800 Usually, when people expect things from others, services from others, such as what you described, it's something that's very new in our field, but is coercive exploitation of subordinates.
00:32:43.020 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:32:45.780 I am just such a controlling boss.
00:32:49.980 My employees just have the worst time.
00:32:52.340 Let me get this straight.
00:32:53.440 Let me get this straight.
00:32:55.700 Blessing.
00:32:56.280 What did you do yesterday?
00:32:57.320 Oh, he went to a wedding instead of worked.
00:33:01.120 He went to a wedding.
00:33:02.160 Now, I don't say this to point...
00:33:03.660 I point out, they get to work whenever they want.
00:33:06.900 They get...
00:33:07.240 He comes and goes whenever he wants.
00:33:11.680 He picks his own hours.
00:33:14.500 I don't...
00:33:15.020 I don't tell him who to hire.
00:33:16.420 I don't tell him who to fire.
00:33:17.620 And I'm controlling because sometimes I ask.
00:33:21.800 They get me coffee?
00:33:24.920 Really?
00:33:25.480 A caramel latte?
00:33:29.080 That's my...
00:33:30.040 That's my controlling behavior.
00:33:32.680 Hey, set up the mics.
00:33:35.420 I hired him to set up the mics.
00:33:38.700 Why is it a bad thing?
00:33:40.880 Oh, I want to set up microphones.
00:33:44.140 Yeah, we discussed this the other day.
00:33:45.640 Oh, and I shouldn't...
00:33:46.620 I can't tell anyone to do anything.
00:33:49.400 No, Pearl.
00:33:50.220 No, you shouldn't.
00:33:51.400 You should not.
00:33:52.180 You should not pay for anything.
00:33:53.880 You should not tell people what to do.
00:33:55.560 So every time my dad's told me what to do, or a boyfriend's told me what to do, then I've been coerced.
00:34:02.880 You have been coerced.
00:34:04.140 And it's a very fine line.
00:34:07.060 Right, okay.
00:34:08.260 It's a very fine line.
00:34:09.780 It could be coercion, but also there are hints of emotional disturbances and emotional manipulation.
00:34:16.880 Emotional manipulation.
00:34:17.940 Yes, Pearl.
00:34:19.540 And do you believe that...
00:34:20.540 Is that something that you are drawn to, perhaps?
00:34:24.200 Is that why...
00:34:25.000 Emotionally manipulated...
00:34:26.780 Is that why you have people working for you?
00:34:30.060 So I can emotionally manipulate them?
00:34:32.400 Potentially.
00:34:33.000 I mean, it is something that is in disgust.
00:34:38.800 Am I paying for this?
00:34:40.560 The first session is pro bono from now on.
00:34:43.300 It will be 500 pounds a minute, like I said.
00:34:45.440 We've got 25 sessions on the books for now.
00:34:48.380 I'm prescribing you that because I believe that you really need this.
00:34:51.540 Does this bitch think I'm going to pay for this? 1.00
00:34:53.920 Oh, let me pay. 0.91
00:34:56.180 Let me pay. 0.97
00:34:56.940 Oh, let me pay to make myself crazier.
00:35:01.720 Let me pay money. 0.85
00:35:03.480 Let me put money out of my pocket that I worked so hard for to become crazy.
00:35:08.800 Fantastic.
00:35:10.260 Is there anything else that you've heard about yourself online that has potentially triggered you?
00:35:19.460 Triggered me.
00:35:20.380 Yes.
00:35:20.680 Um, I usually stay pretty calm.
00:35:24.940 Yes.
00:35:25.680 Um, I don't really like when...
00:35:28.280 Sometimes it will go for my family.
00:35:30.480 Okay.
00:35:30.700 And I just think that's a little bit too far.
00:35:33.680 Um...
00:35:34.320 Mm-hmm.
00:35:35.680 Maybe...
00:35:37.960 I mean, most of the stuff they say is just like crazy talk.
00:35:43.720 Okay.
00:35:44.100 So it's like, what do I care what crazy people think?
00:35:47.940 Okay.
00:35:48.500 So everyone is crazy about you.
00:35:51.960 Okay.
00:35:52.300 So do you feel the need to separate yourself from your peers?
00:35:55.920 No, I didn't say everybody was crazy.
00:35:57.780 I just, I said a lot of the comment section is crazy.
00:36:00.540 Okay.
00:36:01.080 Oh, of course.
00:36:02.020 I do understand.
00:36:03.480 Haters gonna hate us, they say.
00:36:04.940 Uh, uh, Pearl, let's go back a little bit.
00:36:08.280 Let's talk about the attacks on your family.
00:36:10.640 Do you believe or do you agree that your parents, your family, your friends and the people around you are responsible for who you have become today?
00:36:21.280 No.
00:36:21.780 Uh, maybe my parents, but I would say I'm responsible for my own decisions.
00:36:29.700 Okay.
00:36:30.820 Uh, I think you may be running away from the facts sometimes.
00:36:36.000 Perhaps this is another thing that we should probably explore is the reason why people are going to attack your family as they are quite heavily responsible for who you are.
00:36:47.580 And for that reason, potentially you might be in denial and not understanding that it's not all about you.
00:36:54.500 Okay.
00:36:55.440 Um, let's continue.
00:36:57.180 Let's continue.
00:36:58.040 What else?
00:36:59.000 What else?
00:36:59.540 What does that even mean?
00:37:01.420 Uh, it just means that perhaps you may just not be understanding the world around you.
00:37:06.300 Uh, because you are presenting some serious signs of narcissistic disorder, Pearl.
00:37:12.840 So wait, wait, you want, you want to diagnose me with narcissism?
00:37:18.520 Personality disorder after like 20 minutes and increase my sessions.
00:37:25.960 Yes.
00:37:32.660 And you want me to take this seriously?
00:37:35.600 Yes, Pearl.
00:37:36.420 It's very important that you take your health very seriously, your mental fitness very seriously.
00:37:42.460 And that's the purpose of this conversation.
00:37:45.060 So we can understand what bothers you.
00:37:46.900 You keep just, you keep just giving me issues.
00:37:49.960 Like now I say my childhood's good.
00:37:53.080 Now, oh, it's trauma.
00:37:56.200 Then I say, oh, my, you know, my sibling's great.
00:38:01.300 Trauma.
00:38:02.680 Yes.
00:38:02.940 The comment section's crazy.
00:38:04.600 Trauma.
00:38:05.480 Yes.
00:38:06.880 Yes.
00:38:07.300 And you...
00:38:08.360 So what isn't trauma?
00:38:09.840 Then everything's trauma.
00:38:11.480 Are you feeling okay?
00:38:12.340 Would you like a tissue?
00:38:13.600 I can tell that you're feeling quite traumatized right now from our conversation.
00:38:16.840 You are finally understanding where your traumas and where your issues are coming from.
00:38:21.080 Do you agree?
00:38:25.200 No.
00:38:26.080 Okay.
00:38:26.840 Still in denial.
00:38:27.980 It's okay, Pearl.
00:38:28.720 I know this is a very new experience.
00:38:30.900 And, you know, you need to get used to it.
00:38:32.700 It doesn't just come overnight.
00:38:34.140 So we'll keep going into the depth of it.
00:38:37.320 What else bothers you about your experience as a very famous person online?
00:38:44.400 Probably the most famous pick-me online.
00:38:48.640 What bothers me?
00:38:53.200 Not much.
00:38:54.160 I have a pretty good life.
00:38:55.380 I mean, again, I don't...
00:38:58.260 I mean, sometimes they say things that aren't true about me.
00:39:02.820 And so sometimes it's like you have to spend all day fighting a narrative that you didn't make.
00:39:12.020 And how does that make you feel?
00:39:13.880 I mean, it's annoying sometimes.
00:39:16.100 They have all these, like, theories about me.
00:39:18.140 They psychoanalyze me.
00:39:20.360 They make up all these stories about me.
00:39:24.540 And, yeah, I mean, sometimes I wish they wouldn't.
00:39:29.020 But I know it's part of the job and I just deal with it.
00:39:31.760 Okay.
00:39:32.820 So how many nights a week do you cry yourself to sleep?
00:39:38.220 I don't even remember the last time I cried.
00:39:41.140 Okay.
00:39:41.940 Maybe...
00:39:42.860 I can't even...
00:39:45.400 Maybe like six months ago, five months ago.
00:39:48.260 Okay.
00:39:48.780 Emotional suppression.
00:39:50.560 Pearl, it is very unhealthy.
00:39:51.360 Because I don't cry all the time?
00:39:52.760 Yes.
00:39:53.120 It is very unhealthy to suppress your emotions, obviously.
00:39:57.720 Why would I cry if I have better stuff to do?
00:40:00.700 Okay.
00:40:01.780 Still in denial.
00:40:03.040 It's not a good effect on your mental fitness and health to suppress your emotions, obviously,
00:40:10.080 from what we have discussed today.
00:40:14.000 You are a very traumatized and hurt individual.
00:40:17.880 Very insecure.
00:40:19.300 You lack a lot of confidence.
00:40:21.680 Where do you think all of that comes from?
00:40:23.180 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me...
00:40:24.840 I'm traumatized, hurt individual who lacks confidence.
00:40:29.240 Yes.
00:40:29.640 Extremely insecure and in denial of the reality she lives here.
00:40:32.980 Why would I...
00:40:33.700 If I lacked confidence, why would I be online all day?
00:40:38.860 Okay.
00:40:39.080 Why wouldn't I just like not do that?
00:40:41.740 Yes, Pearl, tell me.
00:40:42.700 So why are you online if you're so scared?
00:40:45.340 If you are so insecure?
00:40:47.500 If often you cry yourself to sleep but deny it?
00:40:50.180 I don't...
00:40:50.840 I don't even remember the last time I cried.
00:40:53.300 Life is good.
00:40:54.840 Life is good.
00:40:55.560 You keep repeating life is good.
00:40:57.600 Because...
00:40:58.040 What do you think that comes from?
00:40:58.860 I mean, you keep repeating trauma.
00:41:01.000 Where does that come from?
00:41:03.160 It comes from being human.
00:41:05.440 It comes from the fact that you hate yourself.
00:41:08.720 From your inability to accept your body
00:41:12.480 to the point that you will not even start
00:41:14.180 your own OnlyFans account.
00:41:18.160 I think that, you know,
00:41:20.540 saying that you are a 5 out of 10
00:41:22.360 is completely unrealistic
00:41:24.000 and that's where I empathize with you
00:41:26.500 and that I want to help you
00:41:28.100 because a woman like you 1.00
00:41:29.940 shouldn't be giving herself a 5 out of 10. 0.93
00:41:32.220 You should always be a 20 out of 10.
00:41:34.500 You're a bad girl, boss bitch, 1.00
00:41:37.140 and it is not fair on yourself
00:41:39.580 to treat yourself with so much hate, Pearl.
00:41:43.200 So wait, let me get this straight.
00:41:45.820 I have to rate myself a 20 out of 10
00:41:48.060 to have self-confidence.
00:41:50.540 Yes, I believe that.
00:41:51.540 The last time we checked,
00:41:52.840 the statistics and the research points out
00:41:54.660 that even a 20 out of 10
00:41:56.240 for a boss bitch in 2023 1.00
00:41:58.720 is a relatively low and humble score.
00:42:02.360 Okay, a 20 out of 10 is a humble score.
00:42:05.040 Yes, Pearl.
00:42:05.920 Do you not believe you deserve 20 out of 10?
00:42:08.440 Oh, you clearly hurt yourself.
00:42:10.240 I didn't even know that was on the scale.
00:42:12.940 Yeah, it's called being realistic.
00:42:15.800 It's called having high standards,
00:42:17.980 high expectations,
00:42:19.380 and loving oneself.
00:42:21.020 Do you have a problem with loving yourself, Pearl?
00:42:23.120 Do you believe that you say no a lot?
00:42:29.360 Is that part of your denial disorder?
00:42:32.400 I just think it's the answer to the questions.
00:42:35.680 Okay.
00:42:36.480 You seem quite resistant to the experience.
00:42:41.260 Why do you think that is?
00:42:42.580 I'm just trying to answer honestly.
00:42:48.320 Okay.
00:42:48.960 Do you lie a lot, Pearl?
00:42:52.120 No.
00:42:53.220 Okay.
00:42:53.680 I mean,
00:42:54.120 sometimes.
00:42:57.060 Everyone lies sometimes,
00:42:58.060 but not a lot.
00:43:00.060 A normal amount of lying.
00:43:01.980 Showing early signs of compulsive lying.
00:43:07.120 Okay, Pearl.
00:43:08.020 I mean,
00:43:08.580 my initial analysis
00:43:10.100 is one that is very much,
00:43:12.560 is very much concerning.
00:43:16.360 It's alarming for me.
00:43:17.800 It's troubling.
00:43:18.440 As you can see,
00:43:19.260 I've spent this entire session
00:43:21.820 listening to your problems,
00:43:24.080 understanding where your trauma has come from.
00:43:26.440 And I think that,
00:43:28.560 you know,
00:43:29.080 you need to stop holding yourself back.
00:43:31.000 You need to click your fingers a little bit more.
00:43:33.220 Perhaps wear more makeup
00:43:34.320 and think about showing more skin
00:43:36.660 so that you can get more validation from men.
00:43:39.080 Okay, wait, wait.
00:43:40.140 So you want me
00:43:41.080 to take off my clothes,
00:43:43.280 wear more makeup,
00:43:44.720 and go like...
00:43:46.280 Yes.
00:43:47.980 Yes, so that you can fit into
00:43:50.220 the normal expectation
00:43:52.860 of a woman in today's society.
00:43:55.340 And the fact that you continue
00:43:56.900 to fight against
00:43:58.440 what is your woman... 0.96
00:44:01.660 Your womanly nature 1.00
00:44:03.240 is extremely concerning, Pearl.
00:44:06.300 I think we may have to consider
00:44:08.800 some medication after this.
00:44:10.280 I am very...
00:44:10.780 Medication?
00:44:11.480 I am very worried about...
00:44:12.800 After one session?
00:44:14.320 Pearl, I'm very worried about you.
00:44:15.900 You are clearly experiencing
00:44:17.060 some serious delusion.
00:44:20.000 Like I said,
00:44:20.820 self-hate, insecurity.
00:44:22.220 Are you okay, Pearl?
00:44:31.240 Yeah.
00:44:32.100 Okay.
00:44:32.680 Are you ready to love yourself, Pearl?
00:44:37.320 Sure.
00:44:38.260 Amazing.
00:44:39.040 Tell me,
00:44:39.820 what are the three main things
00:44:41.040 that you've learned about
00:44:42.040 how much you hate yourself today?
00:44:43.900 That I'm a narcissist?
00:44:46.400 Yes.
00:44:47.680 I need to take off my clothes
00:44:49.520 and I need to call myself
00:44:51.000 a 10 out of 10.
00:44:52.180 Yes.
00:44:53.680 See, the first...
00:44:55.100 The first step into solving
00:44:56.680 your problem is acceptance.
00:44:59.340 Narcissism.
00:45:00.420 Yes.
00:45:01.460 Be more confident
00:45:02.240 and accept your body.
00:45:03.400 Show more.
00:45:03.840 But if I'm a narcissist,
00:45:05.500 then wouldn't I need to do less?
00:45:08.040 No, Pearl.
00:45:09.700 No, Pearl.
00:45:10.600 Right now, you need to do more.
00:45:12.540 Right now, Pearl,
00:45:13.360 you need to take self-love
00:45:16.760 to the maximum.
00:45:18.400 Put yourself out there
00:45:19.680 in a way where people will love you more.
00:45:22.280 What is self-love?
00:45:23.720 Self-love means
00:45:25.420 wearing makeup,
00:45:27.720 changing yourself
00:45:28.680 to be more accepted by others,
00:45:30.720 to be more loved by others,
00:45:32.760 to fit into the image of others, Pearl,
00:45:35.600 to be able to call for men's attention
00:45:42.180 without having to say a word,
00:45:44.320 but using your body,
00:45:45.760 using your skin,
00:45:46.680 your flesh,
00:45:47.240 and your beauty.
00:45:47.920 Mostly enhanced by makeup.
00:45:49.660 So I need to get naked
00:45:51.300 to love myself.
00:45:53.380 Have you considered a BBL before, Pearl?
00:45:57.380 No, I've never considered a BBL.
00:45:59.680 And why is that?
00:46:01.340 I was happy with the body I got.
00:46:03.560 Okay, denial and bodily dysmorphia.
00:46:06.840 Okay, Pearl.
00:46:07.840 I think you've made great progress today.
00:46:10.700 How do you feel?
00:46:13.400 Fine.
00:46:14.500 Do you love yourself more?
00:46:16.860 About the same.
00:46:18.300 About the same.
00:46:19.200 Okay.
00:46:20.400 Don't worry.
00:46:21.180 We will increase the amount of sessions
00:46:23.040 that we will have,
00:46:24.100 and eventually we'll reach a point
00:46:25.620 where you will be able to
00:46:26.920 accept who you are
00:46:28.260 and truly understand that,
00:46:29.920 you know,
00:46:30.580 what you call the haters,
00:46:32.380 they are simply people
00:46:33.460 that care about you.
00:46:34.660 They know you, Pearl,
00:46:35.640 and they want the best for you.
00:46:37.900 Okay, so I should care about the haters.
00:46:40.540 Yes.
00:46:41.280 We should all care about other people.
00:46:42.140 I should get a BBL.
00:46:43.840 Yes.
00:46:44.600 And I should
00:46:45.460 take off my clothes
00:46:48.460 and start OnlyFans.
00:46:49.480 Do you not want to be
00:46:50.240 like everybody else?
00:46:53.640 No.
00:46:54.600 Okay.
00:46:54.960 Rebelling against
00:46:56.020 fitting into societal structures.
00:47:00.420 I think that this comes
00:47:01.920 from your childhood, perhaps,
00:47:03.980 but we'll have to go
00:47:04.780 into more detail with that.
00:47:06.540 Is there anything else
00:47:07.620 that you would like to discuss
00:47:09.020 whilst we still have some time?
00:47:13.460 Not really, no.
00:47:14.860 Okay.
00:47:15.660 I know it's been very difficult.
00:47:17.120 The clock has just been
00:47:18.180 ticking down.
00:47:19.340 It's gone so fast.
00:47:20.500 I know.
00:47:21.520 You have fun.
00:47:22.340 Time flies.
00:47:23.340 It's just been so awesome, yeah.
00:47:25.600 Okay, Pearl.
00:47:26.620 I will send you an invoice
00:47:27.880 after the session.
00:47:29.860 Okay.
00:47:31.200 And I will send you
00:47:32.580 how many sessions
00:47:33.500 we'll be needing.
00:47:34.620 I know initially I said 20,
00:47:36.200 but after really carefully
00:47:38.220 analysing your profile,
00:47:39.520 understanding how you feel
00:47:40.720 about things,
00:47:41.640 I think you might need
00:47:42.580 an extra five to ten more.
00:47:45.580 Pearl, thank you
00:47:47.100 for taking the step
00:47:48.280 to know yourself
00:47:49.000 and to accept yourself
00:47:50.040 and for being so open-minded
00:47:51.580 and well done
00:47:52.740 for not crying.
00:47:53.700 I know that sometimes
00:47:54.840 you are holding
00:47:55.980 your tears back,
00:47:57.540 composing yourself,
00:47:59.120 which is great,
00:48:00.700 but I'm not sure
00:48:01.320 if it's healthy.
00:48:01.920 You need to cry more.
00:48:04.340 I'll work on that.
00:48:05.680 Okay.
00:48:06.440 I'm going to give you
00:48:07.620 a quick prescription.
00:48:10.220 Doctor's orders.
00:48:11.080 I'm going to prescribe
00:48:14.780 more makeup,
00:48:19.400 shorter skirts
00:48:20.560 and an OnlyFans subscription.
00:48:27.020 Okay.
00:48:27.760 Once you have done
00:48:29.580 all of this,
00:48:30.760 when you come back
00:48:31.500 for the next session,
00:48:32.440 I'm sure you'll feel
00:48:33.140 a lot better,
00:48:34.220 a lot more love
00:48:34.940 for yourself
00:48:35.560 and I'm sure everybody
00:48:36.660 that watches you at home
00:48:38.320 will love you
00:48:39.060 a lot more, Pearl.
00:48:40.320 Okay.
00:48:42.820 Thank you.
00:48:43.780 You're very much welcome.
00:48:44.780 Thank you.
00:48:45.220 I'm so excited
00:48:45.400 to see you again, Pearl.
00:48:46.740 All right.
00:48:49.520 I'm so proud of Pearl.
00:48:50.700 I think she has done brilliantly
00:48:52.860 to take the first step
00:48:54.180 into coming to therapy.
00:48:55.900 From my notes,
00:48:56.800 she needs a lot of help.
00:48:58.120 She needs a lot of help
00:48:59.300 and a lot of validation,
00:49:00.660 but we're working
00:49:01.320 to get her
00:49:01.800 to really know
00:49:02.360 her true self
00:49:03.200 to stop denying
00:49:04.820 how unhealthy
00:49:06.460 and mentally unfit 0.87
00:49:07.700 she is at the moment
00:49:08.700 and hopefully
00:49:09.920 with some more body,
00:49:12.920 a little bit more sassiness
00:49:14.500 and a little bit more sexiness,
00:49:16.700 we'll get her to a level 0.86
00:49:17.820 where she'll be loved
00:49:18.640 by everybody
00:49:19.240 because obviously
00:49:20.040 that's what she's looking for.
00:49:21.700 I'm very excited
00:49:22.500 to see what comes next.
00:49:23.880 Remember,
00:49:24.360 500 pounds a minute,
00:49:25.520 we've got 25 more sessions.
00:49:27.220 Thank you.
00:49:28.440 That was the dumbest shit
00:49:29.420 I've ever been to
00:49:30.180 in my life.
00:49:30.760 I mean,
00:49:32.720 this bitch, 1.00
00:49:33.300 I could say I love my father
00:49:34.680 and she'll say,
00:49:35.260 why do you hate men?
00:49:37.580 Like,
00:49:38.100 oh, your dad yelled at you,
00:49:40.000 he's too controlling.
00:49:41.400 It's like,
00:49:42.880 where do they get
00:49:43.900 these bitches for therapy? 1.00
00:49:45.620 Where do they get them?
00:49:47.220 Like, it doesn't,
00:49:47.880 it's like,
00:49:48.460 it's like they breathe.
00:49:49.560 They go to college
00:49:50.340 and they just breathe
00:49:51.360 these crazy ladies 1.00
00:49:52.940 to talk to me.
00:49:55.460 Oh,
00:49:56.800 Paul.
00:49:57.860 Paul is in denial
00:49:58.720 because she refuses,
00:50:00.380 refuses to understand
00:50:02.180 how traumatized she is
00:50:03.920 from her relationship
00:50:05.260 with her father,
00:50:06.500 giving her unhealthy
00:50:07.560 expectations of men
00:50:08.940 and relationships
00:50:10.000 between men and women,
00:50:11.880 to her need 0.74
00:50:13.200 to have friends
00:50:14.080 by going to do sport,
00:50:16.140 to her lack 0.94
00:50:17.300 of self-love
00:50:18.680 and clear self-hate
00:50:20.080 because of her relationship
00:50:21.380 with food,
00:50:22.040 because she loves food.
00:50:23.420 She hates fat people. 1.00
00:50:25.040 So,
00:50:25.680 yeah,
00:50:26.400 I'm concerned about Pearl
00:50:28.260 and I really hope
00:50:29.280 that I can help
00:50:29.880 when she really needs it.
00:50:31.700 Never.
00:50:32.320 Okay,
00:50:32.620 let me get this straight.
00:50:33.980 This woman,
00:50:34.640 this woman
00:50:35.140 said,
00:50:37.900 um,
00:50:38.740 your homework
00:50:39.600 is to cry more,
00:50:41.900 start an OnlyFans,
00:50:43.960 take off your clothes
00:50:45.940 and rate myself
00:50:47.560 a 20 out of 10
00:50:48.720 and that's gonna give me
00:50:50.700 confidence
00:50:51.260 confidence
00:50:51.780 and make me
00:50:52.940 not a picket.
00:50:55.920 Where do they find
00:50:57.040 these women? 1.00
00:50:58.320 Where do they find,
00:50:59.180 like,
00:50:59.720 oh,
00:51:01.120 oh,
00:51:01.700 let me,
00:51:02.280 let me start an OnlyFans.
00:51:04.000 Let me just embarrass
00:51:05.060 my entire family
00:51:06.340 and friends.
00:51:07.940 No,
00:51:08.780 no,
00:51:09.040 I'm not starting
00:51:09.420 a freaking OnlyFans.
00:51:11.000 I think
00:51:12.080 that is
00:51:13.200 the minimum required
00:51:14.280 to be able to
00:51:15.240 straighten out
00:51:15.880 all the kinks 1.00
00:51:16.480 of trauma
00:51:17.000 that Pearl
00:51:17.540 clearly
00:51:18.240 has
00:51:19.240 not only witnessed
00:51:20.740 but really been
00:51:21.880 through herself
00:51:22.760 from the emotional
00:51:24.820 exploitation
00:51:25.700 and financial
00:51:26.440 exploitation
00:51:27.060 from others,
00:51:28.080 especially men
00:51:29.040 because obviously
00:51:29.760 she did say
00:51:30.740 she bought her boyfriend 0.95
00:51:31.700 a watch for her
00:51:32.540 for his birthday
00:51:33.340 and she has paid
00:51:33.980 for things
00:51:34.440 to also the fact
00:51:36.060 that we need
00:51:37.140 to get her
00:51:37.960 controlling
00:51:39.160 and positive
00:51:39.740 controlling behavior
00:51:40.940 under control.
00:51:42.400 I think
00:51:42.820 that is going
00:51:44.020 to be a big step
00:51:44.760 for Pearl.
00:51:45.280 She likes to tell
00:51:45.900 people what to do
00:51:46.840 and,
00:51:47.620 uh,
00:51:47.900 that is a massive
00:51:48.860 problem.
00:51:49.380 I hope,
00:51:50.420 uh,
00:51:51.020 to get Pearl
00:51:52.360 to perhaps
00:51:53.260 retract some
00:51:54.400 of her comments,
00:51:55.580 i.e.
00:51:56.220 women shouldn't vote. 1.00
00:51:57.480 That is
00:51:58.220 the most
00:51:58.940 clear
00:51:59.660 and obvious
00:52:00.560 expression
00:52:01.420 of her self-hate
00:52:02.720 and lack
00:52:03.520 of self-acceptance.
00:52:04.640 So,
00:52:05.100 we hope to reverse
00:52:05.900 this process
00:52:06.580 and really get her
00:52:07.680 to understand
00:52:08.620 that she's a bad girl,
00:52:09.900 she's a bad bee 1.00
00:52:10.740 and if she wants
00:52:11.700 to start her OnlyFans 0.93
00:52:12.760 it's just a matter
00:52:13.440 of her
00:52:13.840 going to create
00:52:14.800 her account.
00:52:16.060 Um,
00:52:16.440 I say that
00:52:17.280 therapy,
00:52:18.360 this is the dumbest,
00:52:19.500 this is the worst
00:52:20.160 afternoon I've ever
00:52:21.040 spent in my life.
00:52:22.700 I,
00:52:23.180 I want a refund
00:52:24.280 for my time.
00:52:25.400 I think I should be
00:52:26.100 paid for what I,
00:52:27.360 you just put me through.
00:52:29.080 I,
00:52:29.460 why did you give me
00:52:30.380 Dinelle?
00:52:30.840 Dinelle was the
00:52:31.380 craziest woman 1.00
00:52:32.080 from our show
00:52:32.700 and you,
00:52:33.960 you had her
00:52:34.540 be a therapist
00:52:36.100 to me?
00:52:37.780 Really?
00:52:38.180 Sure,
00:52:41.240 for 10,000 likes
00:52:42.640 we can do
00:52:43.560 a second session
00:52:44.780 but I want
00:52:45.700 to be Venmo'd.
00:52:46.660 I want,
00:52:47.020 I want a caramel latte
00:52:48.600 and to be Venmo'd
00:52:49.820 for my time.