Pearl Went To Therapy... @MissDinalva
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
142.70755
Summary
Denalva Denalva is a freelance therapist who is here to help you find your true self. She has all the qualifications and qualifications to be a therapist, but she has also been a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, which is where you fall in love with your abuser. Do you know what Stockholm Syndrome is?
Transcript
00:00:15.940
Isn't that where you fall in love with an abuser?
00:00:20.920
Do you tell people to do things that they do not want to do?
00:00:54.140
If you love yourself, you will know that you are a 10 out of 10, Pearl.
00:00:57.740
Is that why you have not yet started your OnlyFans page?
00:01:02.060
I am feeling like an emotional revolutionary, ready to change lives, inspire people, and put them on a better emotional path with more maturity and life.
00:01:24.180
You know, I always said, no, no, therapy's bad.
00:01:31.680
But I was like, you know what, Pearl, you can come in with an open mind.
00:01:39.420
You know, she will find herself within herself and just love herself.
00:01:54.820
And they act like you have all this trauma and emotional abuse or blah, blah, blah.
00:02:01.940
So, ideally, it would be a nice older man that really could give me, like, fatherly advice or just, like, very stoic and wise.
00:02:23.460
No qualification, but a lot of knowledge and wisdom.
00:02:40.680
But the Internet keeps saying that I need this therapy.
00:02:45.140
And, you know, now all the women are coming out and they have this emotional abuse.
00:02:49.540
So I say, well, if the bar for emotional abuse is yelling, then maybe I just have trauma and emotional abuse because everyone's been emotionally abused.
00:03:08.900
You know, it's like they'll attack my face, which I can't help.
00:03:29.380
They'll call me, like, whatever they want to call me.
00:03:37.420
And I just think to myself, well, I didn't need therapy before, but maybe I do now.
00:03:44.180
I will give her this because I believe in my services and I know this is going to be revolutionary for Pearl.
00:03:52.440
And then from here on forth, it's going to be 500 pounds per minute.
00:04:24.520
And not only did they give me a female therapist, they gave me Denalva.
00:04:50.980
Maybe Denalva has all these credentials and she really knows how to, you know, give you a better life.
00:04:59.700
I'd like to say it's very brave of you to take this step into, you know, finding the solution, to finding your true self and coming to an acceptance of who you truly are.
00:05:16.000
It's okay if you at any point need a tissue, you know, you can get really emotional.
00:05:46.920
My job here is not to tell you any judgments or put any pressure on you.
00:05:53.160
I'm simply here to guide you through a conversation that will ultimately get you to understand who you truly are.
00:05:59.300
To accept yourself, to be comfortable in your shoes and to understand your traumas.
00:06:13.120
Let me just start with a few questions about where usually it all begins your childhood.
00:06:24.400
When I was growing up, there were six in the house.
00:06:38.160
So, obviously in the house with a lot of, a lot of people and parents that are together at times that, I'm sure it must be so difficult for you to express yourself and have emotional support sometimes with so many people around you.
00:07:20.940
Do you have any issues with identifying yourself?
00:07:55.100
And, um, Pearl, tell me, what is your relationship like with your parents?
00:08:07.000
He's like the best person I know on the planet ever.
00:08:13.640
You know, she's been on the channel a couple times, but the internet kind of comes after
00:08:19.940
So I kind of, I've stopped putting them on as much, but they're both awesome people.
00:08:24.240
You know, I don't know anyone better than my parents.
00:08:28.020
Um, it may just be that you hear, you may be expressing a slight unrealistic reality of
00:08:46.540
So why do you ask me questions if you don't think my answers are real?
00:08:55.700
And to help you to find yourself in your true truth and your true light, Pearl.
00:08:59.500
Um, do you think that your relationship with your father may have given you unrealistic expectations
00:09:11.240
No, I just expect they're not going to be as good as him.
00:09:33.140
So no, I mean, my dad always told me to actually have like no expectations of anybody.
00:09:39.040
He said, expect the worst and if they impress you, then be happy.
00:09:46.360
Um, it seems like your dad's voice and presence in your life is quite important.
00:09:52.000
And I think that perhaps for the next session, uh, we should potentially consider exploring,
00:09:58.500
uh, what we call in our professional field, daddy issues.
00:10:01.980
Um, I think it might be something worth us looking at, but we'll go into more detail about this.
00:10:15.980
I do know that this can be a triggering moment and process.
00:10:39.480
It helps you to find your true self and tell me about your relationship with your mother.
00:10:45.360
My, my mom growing up, um, would pick me up from practice.
00:11:00.320
Um, she adopted three kids, so that takes a really nice, kind, caring person.
00:11:20.920
Okay, so they had what we would call an unhealthy, dependent relationship.
00:11:29.220
It's, married people have an unhealthy, dependent relationship on each other.
00:11:37.600
Well, I think that, you know, do you need a tissue?
00:11:49.900
I'm not, not nervous, just a little, a little confused how that makes sense.
00:12:00.420
So, you've got what you described as a good relationship with your mother.
00:12:04.780
Um, is your mother somebody that you can speak to?
00:12:09.700
Because you mentioned your father, somebody you can go to.
00:12:12.380
Yeah, if I have a, if I have a problem, I can go to my mom or my dad.
00:12:29.120
Is exhibiting early signs of potential anxiety slash mental incapacity to accept her happiness and positivity.
00:12:45.960
Uh, Pearl, Pearl, um, I think that obviously I can tell by your reaction to my questions that family might be a really, um, touchy subject for us to speak on.
00:12:57.900
So, we'll unfold this one on our following session.
00:13:00.600
Obviously, um, after this, I'm looking to book another, maybe five sessions with you for you to really get the full benefit of the experience.
00:13:30.040
I, I was friends with, um, two friends were, like, my best friends in high school.
00:13:36.820
And then I just had different friends, like, cure there, you know?
00:13:42.020
So, maybe, I played a lot of sports, so I might have had a couple on one team, a couple on another.
00:13:50.200
I don't remember what, but, yeah, life was good.
00:13:53.700
Do you believe that, um, you may have used sport as a way to, you know, have friends?
00:14:12.940
In denial of need for acceptance of other people, using sport as a tool to achieve friendships.
00:14:21.340
I went into sports because my parents enrolled me in sports and I liked it.
00:14:30.520
Um, and what if I did, so what, this is what these crazy ladies do.
00:14:36.560
Okay, let's say I, I, I, I started sports to make friends.
00:14:45.580
But, no, I started, I played basketball when I was, like, seven.
00:15:06.560
profile that, uh, because of your insatiable need to have validation and receive attention
00:15:16.160
from people and to be able to make friends, you are labeled as a pick me.
00:15:27.120
So, obviously, you do not get enough attention.
00:15:30.240
And why do you think people call you a pick me?
00:15:38.300
And why do you think they are idiots for calling you a pick me?
00:15:40.860
Um, because it's usually if I say something they don't like, they get, they'll say, oh,
00:15:46.340
she's just saying that because she wants to get picked.
00:15:52.980
Like, they can't, they can't think about what I'm saying.
00:16:14.260
I cry myself to sleep every night just thinking about how much they just get to me.
00:16:41.780
Sometimes it's natural for us to, you know, run away from the truth.
00:16:46.800
For us to run away from how we feel about how other people feel towards us.
00:16:51.620
Um, is there a potential chance that at times you have a safe, self-hate?
00:17:09.160
I mean, let me explain to you why I ask you this question.
00:17:13.820
Um, I think there's qualities about yourself that you like.
00:17:18.980
Um, so are there things about myself I dislike?
00:17:27.440
Um, so if I were to ask you, how do you rate yourself out of 10?
00:17:39.580
Do you, do you understand that, that, how that is an unrealistic and an insecure expression
00:17:51.080
If you love yourself, you will know that you are a 10 out of 10, Pearl.
00:17:58.740
I think that your unrealistic judgment of yourself does...
00:18:05.780
Uh, and that is the reason why I must conclude that you also need to get some work done and
00:18:12.260
we need to have a conversation about self-hate because you must not really like yourself a
00:18:18.040
Um, I have also noticed, um, you don't wear much makeup, do you?
00:18:43.620
Uh, would you say that you are an insecure person in general?
00:18:53.600
Um, because I think that the world labels being realistic with insecurity.
00:19:02.280
And I think most people have room for improvement.
00:19:05.680
So, I mean, I think the most insecure people are the ones that rate themselves 10s, put on
00:19:12.600
a bunch of makeup, and talk about how awesome they are all the time.
00:19:17.620
Me, on the other hand, I just think I'm a normal chick.
00:19:25.060
So, do you believe that you may perhaps be envious of the fact that other people wear
00:19:31.860
makeup and you must present yourself in your natural form?
00:19:38.760
It's really important for you, Pearl, to be really honest, to be very open, and to
00:19:45.320
really embrace the experience so that we can get to the truth in the bottom of how you've
00:19:53.700
If you need a tissue at any point, do let me know because we're about to get into something
00:20:09.500
Patience shows a lot of signs of denial and self-hate.
00:20:14.640
Okay, Pearl, I think that we need to discuss something that nowadays is very much the norm,
00:20:24.320
and I think the fact that you oppose it may indicate that you may have some sort of social
00:20:31.860
anxiety disorder and a rebellion against wanting to fit in and belong to society.
00:20:39.100
Is that why you have not yet started your OnlyFans page?
00:20:43.060
Um, are you saying that I don't fit in because I haven't started my OnlyFans?
00:20:58.040
I think that you have a very strong desire to oppose progress, to oppose the norm, to oppose
00:21:08.420
Is that down to your self-hate that you mentioned earlier?
00:21:21.380
So, why is it that you feel the need to rebel against starting your own OnlyFans page?
00:21:46.200
Um, do you feel maybe afraid that you might not make any money if you start your OnlyFans?
00:21:52.820
Could that be the reason of why you're holding yourself back from...
00:22:01.100
Uh, let's try to stay away from avoiding the question by asking questions.
00:22:06.480
Why is it that you have not started your OnlyFans?
00:22:24.480
You know, daddy, no daddy issues, so, you know, having a dad in my life.
00:22:34.480
You, here, uh, just to give you some insight into my observation so far, um, it's very important
00:22:40.880
for you to start recognizing within you that, um, you may have a narcissistic, uh, outlook
00:22:49.020
on life where you, uh, hide your insecurities through thinking there's better things out
00:22:59.660
I'm a narcissist who hides my insecurities on life by thinking I don't need to fit in.
00:23:26.100
Is it because you may reflect yourself on them?
00:23:32.640
No, I just don't like watching the blubber, like...
00:23:52.320
So, you may also have a sugar-induced, hyperactive mind.
00:24:03.680
Well, it's okay to, you know, be defensive sometimes.
00:24:07.340
I do understand this is a very difficult process to go through.
00:24:10.300
And given everything that you have already experienced with being online and having all this attention that brought you all the way to therapy to come and help yourself and fix yourself.
00:24:18.900
I think that it's really, really important that, you know, just embrace the process.
00:24:23.200
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, my fault, my fault.
00:24:31.540
We're trying to make you better so that you can be more accepted and more loved by the world and also by yourself.
00:24:37.480
Uh, Pearl, uh, one thing that concerns me a lot is your self-hate and the lack of self-love.
00:24:43.940
And I need to understand where this stems from.
00:24:47.380
Um, Pearl, uh, I do understand that you have been in a relationship that is being brought up online very often.
00:24:55.300
Um, do you feel upset for being exposed, for being a victim of obviously what seems to be a very real and emotionally disturbing relationship?
00:25:14.860
Uh, were you previously engaged to this person?
00:25:17.800
I know that there's some videos circulating around that indicate that you may have been.
00:25:23.980
It was, like, it was, like, we would fake, like, videos, like, we would pretend, but it wasn't.
00:25:31.920
Uh, Pearl, uh, have you ever been emotionally abused or disturbed, uh, before?
00:25:44.200
Well, I mean, the bar for emotional abuse is, like, freaking anything.
00:25:49.100
So, I'll hear, I'll hear these women online say, oh, I was emotionally abused.
00:25:59.700
That's, like, that's, that's the bar for emotional, or I'll see, oh, I can't go to the club.
00:26:10.640
So, I'm like, if this is emotional abuse, then I've been emotionally abused.
00:26:15.260
I have just gone, I have just gone through all of this trauma.
00:26:28.820
I mean, I totaled my car when I was, or I didn't total it, but I almost totaled my car when I was 16, and, yeah, my dad was pissed.
00:26:38.640
Victim of extensive and heightened emotional disturbances.
00:27:04.480
Isn't that where you fall in love with an abuser?
00:27:13.100
I love my dad, but he yelled at me because I crashed my car.
00:27:28.420
But am I going to whine and cry because my dad yelled at me when I was 16 because, I don't know, I crashed my car.
00:27:53.240
Pearl, I'm sorry for knowing that you went through this experience.
00:27:58.200
But it does explain a lot why you hate yourself and you struggle to just be comfortable in who you are and why you may have become a pick me.
00:28:09.400
I believe that this may be one of the symptoms that comes with being emotionally disturbed by people raising their voice at you, telling you no, disagreeing with you.
00:28:18.680
I know, it's very difficult and you don't have to go through this, you don't have to accept that it's okay, Pearl.
00:28:25.320
We will find the solution to this problem as well.
00:28:27.800
We will work through the kinks out of this abuse and make you feel better and more healthy.
00:28:39.760
This is one of the prescriptions that I will give you after this session.
00:28:54.640
Pearl, have you ever bought a man anything in your life?
00:29:52.680
How do you feel about being financially exploited by men, potentially by others, when, as a woman,
00:30:01.520
and you should never pay for anything at any time, any moment possible?
00:30:08.300
I mean, I guess if it was free, that would have been nice.
00:30:33.120
Is it because, potentially, you may have an unhealthy relationship with people and money,
00:30:38.580
given the fact that, obviously, you have had a lot of people working under you,
00:30:45.600
and from what online is discussing, you have also now reflected how much you have been financially exploited onto others.
00:30:59.520
Can you explain why you've financially exploited others?
00:31:06.100
They say this is the best job they've ever had.
00:31:11.940
And how much did they give you to be able to have this job?
00:31:23.080
Financial exploitation and financial boundaries is something that, potentially, you may have to discuss very soon.
00:31:39.980
Do you feel that, at times, you may tell people what to do?
00:32:02.180
Do you tell people to do things that they do not want to do?
00:32:24.800
Usually, when people expect things from others, services from others, such as what you described, it's something that's very new in our field, but is coercive exploitation of subordinates.
00:33:03.660
I point out, they get to work whenever they want.
00:33:55.560
So every time my dad's told me what to do, or a boyfriend's told me what to do, then I've been coerced.
00:34:09.780
It could be coercion, but also there are hints of emotional disturbances and emotional manipulation.
00:34:20.540
Is that something that you are drawn to, perhaps?
00:34:48.380
I'm prescribing you that because I believe that you really need this.
00:34:51.540
Does this bitch think I'm going to pay for this?
00:35:03.480
Let me put money out of my pocket that I worked so hard for to become crazy.
00:35:10.260
Is there anything else that you've heard about yourself online that has potentially triggered you?
00:35:37.960
I mean, most of the stuff they say is just like crazy talk.
00:35:44.100
So it's like, what do I care what crazy people think?
00:35:52.300
So do you feel the need to separate yourself from your peers?
00:35:57.780
I just, I said a lot of the comment section is crazy.
00:36:10.640
Do you believe or do you agree that your parents, your family, your friends and the people around you are responsible for who you have become today?
00:36:21.780
Uh, maybe my parents, but I would say I'm responsible for my own decisions.
00:36:30.820
Uh, I think you may be running away from the facts sometimes.
00:36:36.000
Perhaps this is another thing that we should probably explore is the reason why people are going to attack your family as they are quite heavily responsible for who you are.
00:36:47.580
And for that reason, potentially you might be in denial and not understanding that it's not all about you.
00:37:01.420
Uh, it just means that perhaps you may just not be understanding the world around you.
00:37:06.300
Uh, because you are presenting some serious signs of narcissistic disorder, Pearl.
00:37:12.840
So wait, wait, you want, you want to diagnose me with narcissism?
00:37:18.520
Personality disorder after like 20 minutes and increase my sessions.
00:37:36.420
It's very important that you take your health very seriously, your mental fitness very seriously.
00:37:56.200
Then I say, oh, my, you know, my sibling's great.
00:38:13.600
I can tell that you're feeling quite traumatized right now from our conversation.
00:38:16.840
You are finally understanding where your traumas and where your issues are coming from.
00:38:37.320
What else bothers you about your experience as a very famous person online?
00:38:58.260
I mean, sometimes they say things that aren't true about me.
00:39:02.820
And so sometimes it's like you have to spend all day fighting a narrative that you didn't make.
00:39:24.540
And, yeah, I mean, sometimes I wish they wouldn't.
00:39:29.020
But I know it's part of the job and I just deal with it.
00:39:32.820
So how many nights a week do you cry yourself to sleep?
00:39:53.120
It is very unhealthy to suppress your emotions, obviously.
00:40:03.040
It's not a good effect on your mental fitness and health to suppress your emotions, obviously,
00:40:14.000
You are a very traumatized and hurt individual.
00:40:24.840
I'm traumatized, hurt individual who lacks confidence.
00:40:29.640
Extremely insecure and in denial of the reality she lives here.
00:40:33.700
If I lacked confidence, why would I be online all day?
00:40:47.500
If often you cry yourself to sleep but deny it?
00:42:21.020
Do you have a problem with loving yourself, Pearl?
00:43:31.000
You need to click your fingers a little bit more.