JustPearlyThings - April 28, 2023


Pearl’s Heated Take On Pregnancy


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

210.83575

Word count

2,833

Sentence count

3

Harmful content

Misogyny

18

sentences flagged

Hate speech

20

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a cheater and how to deal with it. We also discuss women getting pregnant first and the impact it has on their self-esteem and self-worth.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 that people were sacrificing a lot of their happiness for their community but now we've
00:00:04.720 gone the other way where there's so much individualism now yeah that people are no
00:00:09.620 longer contributing or even care about their local community or their family and their nuclear family
00:00:15.280 which is why people leave etc etc so i i agree and you know i'm my family nigerian and in our
00:00:22.840 culture like once you have kids it's about them you do what's best for them so if you but you
00:00:28.520 staying with your partner is what's best for the kids and you can make that work that's what you
00:00:31.900 do until they leave then you split up or whatever i actually i always say people always ask me if i'd
00:00:36.120 stay with a cheater and i always say no unless there were kids interesting why do you say that
00:00:42.160 because if they're kids it's not about me how about you if i would um i mean i've i've stayed with
00:00:48.380 cheaters i've stayed with cheaters and i know a lot of that is actually based upon my self-worth and
00:00:53.360 being like you know xyz and i'd love to say no i know i deserve better and blah blah blah but yeah
00:00:59.520 if there's kids it's a whole different ballpark and if you're it depends on how selfish yourself
00:01:04.200 because being selfish isn't a bad thing because if you're like well i'm living for others then when
00:01:09.540 do you live for you because and it oh it really depends on like so a lot of people love honor and
00:01:15.100 pride so really you don't think being selfish is a bad thing so no no so you say you live for your dad's
00:01:21.220 approval my dad's a piece of shit yeah that's a piece of shit my family we are not close at all
00:01:26.760 my mom literally had been like me like right and so i'm like if i'm not living for me and enjoy my life
00:01:32.260 i could be dead tomorrow and if i knew that i lived for everyone else i'm living for their approval
00:01:36.580 or my well-being and my quality of life is dependent upon how they feel towards me yeah and
00:01:43.340 that's it it's not black and white it's very much like the people i love know that i love them
00:01:49.120 the people i love i'm i'm very much a i want you to feel loved i want you but then i'm like
00:01:54.320 i've done a lot of therapy and so they're like hey amy you can only feel good about yourself when
00:02:00.260 you think others feel good about you and they're like that's really so your self-worth is dependent
00:02:05.700 upon the approval of others i think that's normal well if everyone hates you there's probably a reason
00:02:11.560 as far as i'm aware no one has ever hated me but i've been so i stayed with the cheater because
00:02:19.200 yeah i've stayed with many cheaters and i i've been in a relationship that was the most toxic
00:02:25.580 thing that i've ever imagined that everyone in my life is like we don't he still talks to me and i
00:02:29.460 still haven't we broke up three four years ago we still have an open communication path because i
00:02:35.640 can't block people because i'm like i feel really bad if i block them even if they're toxic for me and
00:02:40.140 they're worse i can't block them i can't i can't do it that's it i can't do it and everyone is like
00:02:45.380 amy like are you are you confused this person was awful to you disrespected you and you still feel the
00:02:51.500 need to be good for them good for their approval and i'm just like ah because it makes me feel like
00:02:58.220 a bad person when i block people like so so going okay so going back to the next next topic tonight
00:03:03.900 okay we're going to talk about women getting pregnant first going okay so i i'm going to give 0.53
00:03:10.040 you my opinion and i you can comment on it i think it's 99.999 percent the woman's fault if she gets 1.00
00:03:17.440 pregnant why do you think that because we are in control of sex we one there's a million forms of 1.00
00:03:25.260 birth control two you can you can you get to pick who you sleep with yep and three there's condoms
00:03:36.900 and four you can even get an abortion so i think if you get pregnant it's your own fault so you said
00:03:43.160 it's 99.9 percent women's i think that men out here just shooting up and random girls are dumb 1.00
00:03:48.780 okay i think you guys are stupid so do you think so but but i would say that the responsibility is 0.77
00:03:56.020 mostly on the woman rather than the guy so i i don't disagree that culturally so
00:04:05.040 there is more power in the woman in regards to getting pregnant uh-huh but to say that men are only 0.98
00:04:14.120 responsible for one percent of that i disagree i would say because it does take two to tango because
00:04:19.480 here's the thing right it is true that most men would have sex with anything yeah but they're the 0.88
00:04:25.860 small percentage of men who maybe have a lot of options wouldn't they exercise discipline especially
00:04:33.800 if their time is money right but even even if let's say they wear a condom right what happened to drake
00:04:39.040 that doesn't count it does count that happens to really successful men all the time no no what i
00:04:46.600 mean is like that's not that's completely on her that's not even one person but that's what i'm
00:04:49.600 saying like even if a guy wears a condom a girl can take it it's true yeah that's that's true that like 1.00
00:04:55.960 that's an that's not his fault but i would i would say if she got pregnant from that that's that's not 0.78
00:05:01.240 99 percent her that's 100 percent her yeah that's none of him yeah i'm saying if it was
00:05:06.720 if you're gonna oh yeah um fuck you drake 1.00
00:05:11.360 no but if um if a guy if a guy has because if she chooses to have unprotected sex with him yeah 1.00
00:05:19.020 she's making that choice but he's making okay but let's say she does who is the who is the choice to
00:05:23.160 take the plan b pill no who has hold on who has the power to yeah she does she that's why who is who 0.99
00:05:29.060 is the power to get an abortion it is her yeah it's true does the men have any say in that i agree so 0.94
00:05:34.860 that's why i say it's it's her own fault you could you could okay let's say let's say one you
00:05:40.500 can track your cycle there's only like five days in a month or whatever that you're really likely
00:05:46.180 to get pregnant i know it can happen outside of that yeah okay but you can track your cycle 1.00
00:05:51.080 that doesn't work what can you do a condom okay if that doesn't work you can get a plan b pill
00:05:57.220 if that doesn't work next time around get an iud so if that doesn't work no no i'm not done okay
00:06:02.660 if that doesn't work and you get pregnant you can go get an abortion the men have no say in this 0.98
00:06:08.120 none i know so so like that's what i said culturally so i don't understand how these girls are saying oh 1.00
00:06:13.960 it just happened what do you mean it just happened that i agree that's silly like any girls just like
00:06:18.600 oh my gosh it just happens you got pregnant like you you played that part yeah here's my question to 0.99
00:06:23.620 you right so there's like over 40 forms of birth control for women yeah if it were reversed 0.50
00:06:28.660 there was over 40 forms of birth control for men yeah but it was still obviously women who choose
00:06:35.340 who have sex with so i'm saying the intersexual dynamics yeah yeah yeah but in terms of culturally
00:06:41.280 it is men who has the birth control power not women would that then change your position 0.99
00:06:46.420 with that who's responsible on who's on who's responsible no because at the end of the day women 1.00
00:06:53.680 men have no say in abortion if you get a girl pregnant and you're crying to her and saying i don't want 1.00
00:06:58.000 you to get that abortion there ain't shit there ain't shit you can do you can't save that kid 0.94
00:07:02.460 and so at the end of the day a woman can't have a child that they don't want to have 0.99
00:07:07.620 so i fully agree with that i fully i'm fully like that's my person but like if i ever got pregnant so
00:07:13.960 i am sexually active i'm not on contraception but i tell men straight away i'm like come in me don't 0.63
00:07:19.120 come on me and i'm like but i know if that if that happens i'm like well it's my responsibility
00:07:23.140 to be like girl you're what what are you doing in these streets
00:07:27.020 i'm having a host season okay i'm a responsible host season but i am i am that's why i tell them
00:07:34.200 oh my god that's why you got me one std that ruins your life i've already had chlamydia i got chlamydia
00:07:40.540 don't do this to yourself honey i got chlamydia being responsible i got chlamydia being you clearly
00:07:47.260 did it like you wouldn't have been that responsible i was 18 it was the second guy i ever slept with
00:07:53.260 in my life we were friends we were xyz and then i get that text being like hey and i was like hey
00:07:58.160 he's like oh so um i uh do you wear a condom uh no okay but that but that is when i learned
00:08:05.680 people don't know he didn't he didn't come inside me either okay but that doesn't mean you're being
00:08:10.040 responsible no but a lot of people if you don't know chlamydia is passed just through contact they
00:08:15.760 don't need to come inside you so even if they've got chlamydia on their hand okay okay but what would
00:08:21.700 reduce your odds i mean at that point at that point i was a very different human being but i'm like oh i
00:08:27.800 had chlamydia but you're not because you're doing the same thing now well no no because i make sure
00:08:32.580 everyone i make sure that everyone also how do you make them get tested and make them really we
00:08:37.100 don't say clean either so i was an ex-sexual health professional we don't say clean we say
00:08:41.640 std free because obviously the opposite of clean is dirty and we don't we don't perpetuate that like
00:08:46.840 stigma so i'll say like i literally will say to people and be like hey i'll tell them i'm like i'm
00:08:52.500 not on contraception but i i get tested very regularly wait wait you're not well you're not on birth
00:08:57.380 control oh my god no and that is because i'm so sorry i can't and that is because it fucked it 0.99
00:09:04.740 it fucked up my hair it fucked up my body it fucked up everything you know what fucks up your body 1.00
00:09:08.540 a baby but but i'm responsible for that i'm responsible for that with what income no no but
00:09:16.840 what i'm saying is abortion but what i'm saying is you know what else fucks up your body 0.96
00:09:20.820 abortion abortion yeah yeah and your mental health but this is what we're talking about 0.57
00:09:25.720 it's responsibility is that i'm like if that happened so i tell men and they're like oh pull
00:09:31.040 out method or or i'm like okay like if you do you want to use a condom like cool we're like i'm like
00:09:36.240 yeah i'd rather they did but if i ever got pregnant i wouldn't be like well it's your fault i'd be like
00:09:41.640 no this is okay but this is like point in case where women are using abortion as a form of birth 0.99
00:09:45.500 control instead of something that should be used in an emergency oh no no so like fortunately that's
00:09:51.300 it i'm 27 i've like had a lot of i've had a lot of girls like yeah um but that's it i'm like yeah
00:09:57.460 we will either i'll tell men and so a lot of men a lot of men that i sleep with actually to be fair
00:10:03.040 most of them are like well i'm either not going to come on you or i'm going to wear a condom 0.75
00:10:06.940 or i'm like you're just not going to finish like okay okay we'll finish in a another way um
00:10:13.680 and if a guy is like i'm still going to try and finish beside you i'm like no you're not because
00:10:18.540 like i'll call you daddy but i don't want to make you a daddy like that's literally like
00:10:22.920 i will say that to men all the time okay let me just i just want to clarify some understanding so
00:10:29.280 right now you're you're in the streets right yeah yeah okay yeah you're street you're street in
00:10:34.780 you know street but even that is that is that is a judgment on women to be like hey casual sex is 1.00
00:10:40.100 not okay for women look i didn't say if it was okay for men what what i'm what i'm what i'm judging
00:10:44.520 you for i'm gonna be honest yeah go for it it's just it's just like this is so irresponsible
00:10:48.840 like because if i'm understanding it right okay so so you're sleeping with these guys you don't you
00:10:54.180 don't know that i know them i know them very well okay okay you date them you date them and and
00:10:58.960 you're not on birth control and you have them finishing you no they don't finish me no never
00:11:02.620 never never never come on no no no the opposite the opposite oh oh oh no no fuck there's like 0.86
00:11:10.040 oh my god i was gonna correct her but i wanted to see how far this ago oh my god no okay no no
00:11:16.260 that's my bad oh no that's not here's the love here's the honor if you can't come in her come on 1.00
00:11:21.320 her i tell men straight away straight away i'm like do not finish inside me and that's why i say
00:11:27.520 i'm like i will call you daddy do you want to be a daddy and they all go no let me just clarify
00:11:33.760 you're only you don't have them wear condoms though your only form of is pull out oh no no
00:11:38.400 like they can wear a condom but then then it's on the guy that they're like well i don't want to
00:11:43.680 and i'm like you get to pick so like like do you do you make them wear a condom i don't make them 0.71
00:11:48.560 if they don't want to okay but then i i have the conversation with them i'm like look you've got
00:11:53.080 choices either you don't finish you wear a condom okay or you pull out but i'm well aware that if
00:11:58.220 they don't if they don't pull out in time i'm like do you check your cycle too yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:12:02.540 um i get tested very regularly that's it ex-sexual health professional sexual health is the one part
00:12:08.480 of our health that we are fully responsible for we are fully responsible for getting tested
00:12:12.680 we are fully responsible for being you i agree we are fully responsible and i do think as an
00:12:17.560 individual that's as a woman if if i was to get pregnant from my reckless behavior i'd be like
00:12:22.820 it's not on you it's on me i have taken that risk yeah and i was like i'll take that risk but
00:12:27.640 because i am very comfortable with the idea of i know abortion's not nice yeah i'm not here like 0.72
00:12:32.740 if i get pregnant i'll have an abortion i'm like do you know what if like you don't get in a car 0.64
00:12:37.860 thinking i'm gonna be in a car accident but you know full well every time you get in a car or you
00:12:42.020 get on a plane yeah like there is a low-key chance that this could not end well for me it's just
00:12:46.680 interesting because whenever like i talk to people about abortion they always um make it seem
00:12:52.760 like it's only used in like chill but it's not not no that's not chill that it's only used in
00:12:57.560 cases of emergencies and like like all that stuff but in my feeling is that it's more used as a form
00:13:03.420 of birth control today rather than and it's usually because there's some form of irresponsibility
00:13:08.200 so rather than like the exceptions so i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily
00:13:15.640 basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below
00:13:21.980 every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible