Pearl’s Heated Take On Pregnancy
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.83575
Summary
In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a cheater and how to deal with it. We also discuss women getting pregnant first and the impact it has on their self-esteem and self-worth.
Transcript
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that people were sacrificing a lot of their happiness for their community but now we've
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gone the other way where there's so much individualism now yeah that people are no
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longer contributing or even care about their local community or their family and their nuclear family
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which is why people leave etc etc so i i agree and you know i'm my family nigerian and in our
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culture like once you have kids it's about them you do what's best for them so if you but you
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staying with your partner is what's best for the kids and you can make that work that's what you
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do until they leave then you split up or whatever i actually i always say people always ask me if i'd
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stay with a cheater and i always say no unless there were kids interesting why do you say that
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because if they're kids it's not about me how about you if i would um i mean i've i've stayed with
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cheaters i've stayed with cheaters and i know a lot of that is actually based upon my self-worth and
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being like you know xyz and i'd love to say no i know i deserve better and blah blah blah but yeah
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if there's kids it's a whole different ballpark and if you're it depends on how selfish yourself
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because being selfish isn't a bad thing because if you're like well i'm living for others then when
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do you live for you because and it oh it really depends on like so a lot of people love honor and
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pride so really you don't think being selfish is a bad thing so no no so you say you live for your dad's
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approval my dad's a piece of shit yeah that's a piece of shit my family we are not close at all
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my mom literally had been like me like right and so i'm like if i'm not living for me and enjoy my life
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i could be dead tomorrow and if i knew that i lived for everyone else i'm living for their approval
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or my well-being and my quality of life is dependent upon how they feel towards me yeah and
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that's it it's not black and white it's very much like the people i love know that i love them
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the people i love i'm i'm very much a i want you to feel loved i want you but then i'm like
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i've done a lot of therapy and so they're like hey amy you can only feel good about yourself when
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you think others feel good about you and they're like that's really so your self-worth is dependent
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upon the approval of others i think that's normal well if everyone hates you there's probably a reason
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as far as i'm aware no one has ever hated me but i've been so i stayed with the cheater because
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yeah i've stayed with many cheaters and i i've been in a relationship that was the most toxic
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thing that i've ever imagined that everyone in my life is like we don't he still talks to me and i
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still haven't we broke up three four years ago we still have an open communication path because i
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can't block people because i'm like i feel really bad if i block them even if they're toxic for me and
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they're worse i can't block them i can't i can't do it that's it i can't do it and everyone is like
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amy like are you are you confused this person was awful to you disrespected you and you still feel the
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need to be good for them good for their approval and i'm just like ah because it makes me feel like
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a bad person when i block people like so so going okay so going back to the next next topic tonight
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okay we're going to talk about women getting pregnant first going okay so i i'm going to give
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you my opinion and i you can comment on it i think it's 99.999 percent the woman's fault if she gets
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pregnant why do you think that because we are in control of sex we one there's a million forms of
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birth control two you can you can you get to pick who you sleep with yep and three there's condoms
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and four you can even get an abortion so i think if you get pregnant it's your own fault so you said
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it's 99.9 percent women's i think that men out here just shooting up and random girls are dumb
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okay i think you guys are stupid so do you think so but but i would say that the responsibility is
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mostly on the woman rather than the guy so i i don't disagree that culturally so
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there is more power in the woman in regards to getting pregnant uh-huh but to say that men are only
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responsible for one percent of that i disagree i would say because it does take two to tango because
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here's the thing right it is true that most men would have sex with anything yeah but they're the
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small percentage of men who maybe have a lot of options wouldn't they exercise discipline especially
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if their time is money right but even even if let's say they wear a condom right what happened to drake
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that doesn't count it does count that happens to really successful men all the time no no what i
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mean is like that's not that's completely on her that's not even one person but that's what i'm
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saying like even if a guy wears a condom a girl can take it it's true yeah that's that's true that like
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that's an that's not his fault but i would i would say if she got pregnant from that that's that's not
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99 percent her that's 100 percent her yeah that's none of him yeah i'm saying if it was
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no but if um if a guy if a guy has because if she chooses to have unprotected sex with him yeah
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she's making that choice but he's making okay but let's say she does who is the who is the choice to
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take the plan b pill no who has hold on who has the power to yeah she does she that's why who is who
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is the power to get an abortion it is her yeah it's true does the men have any say in that i agree so
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that's why i say it's it's her own fault you could you could okay let's say let's say one you
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can track your cycle there's only like five days in a month or whatever that you're really likely
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to get pregnant i know it can happen outside of that yeah okay but you can track your cycle
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that doesn't work what can you do a condom okay if that doesn't work you can get a plan b pill
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if that doesn't work next time around get an iud so if that doesn't work no no i'm not done okay
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if that doesn't work and you get pregnant you can go get an abortion the men have no say in this
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none i know so so like that's what i said culturally so i don't understand how these girls are saying oh
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it just happened what do you mean it just happened that i agree that's silly like any girls just like
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oh my gosh it just happens you got pregnant like you you played that part yeah here's my question to
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you right so there's like over 40 forms of birth control for women yeah if it were reversed
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there was over 40 forms of birth control for men yeah but it was still obviously women who choose
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who have sex with so i'm saying the intersexual dynamics yeah yeah yeah but in terms of culturally
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it is men who has the birth control power not women would that then change your position
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with that who's responsible on who's on who's responsible no because at the end of the day women
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men have no say in abortion if you get a girl pregnant and you're crying to her and saying i don't want
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you to get that abortion there ain't shit there ain't shit you can do you can't save that kid
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and so at the end of the day a woman can't have a child that they don't want to have
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so i fully agree with that i fully i'm fully like that's my person but like if i ever got pregnant so
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i am sexually active i'm not on contraception but i tell men straight away i'm like come in me don't
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come on me and i'm like but i know if that if that happens i'm like well it's my responsibility
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to be like girl you're what what are you doing in these streets
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i'm having a host season okay i'm a responsible host season but i am i am that's why i tell them
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oh my god that's why you got me one std that ruins your life i've already had chlamydia i got chlamydia
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don't do this to yourself honey i got chlamydia being responsible i got chlamydia being you clearly
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did it like you wouldn't have been that responsible i was 18 it was the second guy i ever slept with
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in my life we were friends we were xyz and then i get that text being like hey and i was like hey
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he's like oh so um i uh do you wear a condom uh no okay but that but that is when i learned
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people don't know he didn't he didn't come inside me either okay but that doesn't mean you're being
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responsible no but a lot of people if you don't know chlamydia is passed just through contact they
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don't need to come inside you so even if they've got chlamydia on their hand okay okay but what would
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reduce your odds i mean at that point at that point i was a very different human being but i'm like oh i
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had chlamydia but you're not because you're doing the same thing now well no no because i make sure
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everyone i make sure that everyone also how do you make them get tested and make them really we
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don't say clean either so i was an ex-sexual health professional we don't say clean we say
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std free because obviously the opposite of clean is dirty and we don't we don't perpetuate that like
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stigma so i'll say like i literally will say to people and be like hey i'll tell them i'm like i'm
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not on contraception but i i get tested very regularly wait wait you're not well you're not on birth
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control oh my god no and that is because i'm so sorry i can't and that is because it fucked it
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it fucked up my hair it fucked up my body it fucked up everything you know what fucks up your body
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a baby but but i'm responsible for that i'm responsible for that with what income no no but
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what i'm saying is abortion but what i'm saying is you know what else fucks up your body
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abortion abortion yeah yeah and your mental health but this is what we're talking about
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it's responsibility is that i'm like if that happened so i tell men and they're like oh pull
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out method or or i'm like okay like if you do you want to use a condom like cool we're like i'm like
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yeah i'd rather they did but if i ever got pregnant i wouldn't be like well it's your fault i'd be like
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no this is okay but this is like point in case where women are using abortion as a form of birth
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control instead of something that should be used in an emergency oh no no so like fortunately that's
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it i'm 27 i've like had a lot of i've had a lot of girls like yeah um but that's it i'm like yeah
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we will either i'll tell men and so a lot of men a lot of men that i sleep with actually to be fair
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most of them are like well i'm either not going to come on you or i'm going to wear a condom
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or i'm like you're just not going to finish like okay okay we'll finish in a another way um
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and if a guy is like i'm still going to try and finish beside you i'm like no you're not because
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like i'll call you daddy but i don't want to make you a daddy like that's literally like
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i will say that to men all the time okay let me just i just want to clarify some understanding so
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right now you're you're in the streets right yeah yeah okay yeah you're street you're street in
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you know street but even that is that is that is a judgment on women to be like hey casual sex is
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not okay for women look i didn't say if it was okay for men what what i'm what i'm what i'm judging
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you for i'm gonna be honest yeah go for it it's just it's just like this is so irresponsible
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like because if i'm understanding it right okay so so you're sleeping with these guys you don't you
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don't know that i know them i know them very well okay okay you date them you date them and and
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you're not on birth control and you have them finishing you no they don't finish me no never
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never never never come on no no no the opposite the opposite oh oh oh no no fuck there's like
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oh my god i was gonna correct her but i wanted to see how far this ago oh my god no okay no no
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that's my bad oh no that's not here's the love here's the honor if you can't come in her come on
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her i tell men straight away straight away i'm like do not finish inside me and that's why i say
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i'm like i will call you daddy do you want to be a daddy and they all go no let me just clarify
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you're only you don't have them wear condoms though your only form of is pull out oh no no
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like they can wear a condom but then then it's on the guy that they're like well i don't want to
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and i'm like you get to pick so like like do you do you make them wear a condom i don't make them
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if they don't want to okay but then i i have the conversation with them i'm like look you've got
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choices either you don't finish you wear a condom okay or you pull out but i'm well aware that if
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they don't if they don't pull out in time i'm like do you check your cycle too yeah yeah yeah yeah
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um i get tested very regularly that's it ex-sexual health professional sexual health is the one part
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of our health that we are fully responsible for we are fully responsible for getting tested
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we are fully responsible for being you i agree we are fully responsible and i do think as an
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individual that's as a woman if if i was to get pregnant from my reckless behavior i'd be like
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it's not on you it's on me i have taken that risk yeah and i was like i'll take that risk but
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because i am very comfortable with the idea of i know abortion's not nice yeah i'm not here like
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if i get pregnant i'll have an abortion i'm like do you know what if like you don't get in a car
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thinking i'm gonna be in a car accident but you know full well every time you get in a car or you
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get on a plane yeah like there is a low-key chance that this could not end well for me it's just
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interesting because whenever like i talk to people about abortion they always um make it seem
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like it's only used in like chill but it's not not no that's not chill that it's only used in
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cases of emergencies and like like all that stuff but in my feeling is that it's more used as a form
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of birth control today rather than and it's usually because there's some form of irresponsibility
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so rather than like the exceptions so i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily
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