People Don’t Change as Much as You Think (Call-in Show) | Pearl Daily
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 55 minutes
Words per Minute
173.13309
Summary
In this episode, we talk about personality traits and how they change over time, and why it's important to remember that 30 years from now, we will be in the same place we were in 30 years ago.
Transcript
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Allah in the thumbnail. It is not my fault that your Christian brothers and sisters keep using
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corn stars in church that make great thumbnails. I'm not going to use the old trad women. Do you
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know what I mean? Like if there is a hot woman, you guys are going to come at me for using her
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in marketing. Are you kidding me? BS. So today we're going to talk about personality traits
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and if they change over time. Now this show was actually inspired by a tweet that I saw,
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but if you guys want, you know, you don't have to. We are raising money for a divorce documentary and
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I'd really like to get the editing started in about a month, a month and a half. So
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being that there's a GoFundMe link in the description, we're trying to get to $100,000.
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It'd be cool if you guys could donate. If not, the show is free, so do enjoy. Okay, so this tweet
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that I saw was from that guy that's trying to live forever. Let me pull it up.
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Brian Johnson, I think his name is. And Brian Johnson is this guy basically who,
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he made like a billion dollars on, I think, PayPal or some app. Who cares, right? And then
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he decided that he was going to, you know what's funny? I watch his show and I always think that
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this is something autistic that looks like something I would do. The Brian Johnson guy,
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if you see his page, this guy, he has this like don't die thing where he's like trying to live
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forever. And he just autistically like measures every level of health. And I was laughing when I
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saw it because, you know, I would explain this to normal people, like maybe more well adjusted,
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less online. And they would say that's a crazy thing to do, but I thought it was kind of cool.
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Anyways, that's neither here nor there. He had a post about his high school reunion.
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And he said, I had my 30-year high school reunion last night. These sorts of events had a way of
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inviting a unique sobriety of observation. First, the vast majority of everyone that had left the
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Mormon church. This is very surprising given the deeply religious adherence of our small
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30,000 person town during our childhood. If my class is representative of Mormon membership,
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generally the religion is evaporating, at least in this geography and demographic. I wonder if that
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holds true for other religions. So I would agree with this sentiment in general. I would say people
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are less religious. The religious crowd, if you find, they tend to get studies from like
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very right-leaning institutions. But generally, if you look at the general trends of church
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attendance, it's mostly down. Second, everyone was basically the same as when we graduated.
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After 30 years of life, the similarities of behavior were fun to see. This isn't surprising,
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as evidence shows the stability of personality excluding substantial life-changing events.
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Third, given the stability of personality over a lifetime, if you're not happy with your behavioral
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patterns, best to be sober about the challenges of changing oneself because you will inevitably become
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your patterns. 30 years is 10,950 days and I left concluding, one needs to live each day as if that
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day will one day determine where they will be 30 years from now. Fourth, statistically by our 30th
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reunion, we'd expect to have lost less than 20 of our classmates, but I think we've lost more many
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to suicide. In the next 10 years of age 50 to 60, it's expected we'll lose 20 more and 40 more from age
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60 to 70. Only 250 out of the 400 will still be alive when we are 80. Fifth, our childhood experiences
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deeply affect our life outcomes. Middle school, junior high, and high school can be especially brutal and
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some people never recover or overcome. This led many to not attend. For those that did, we found a vibe
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together last night that allowed for some long-needed healing. It's insane how fast life happens. I'm still
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struggling to comprehend how 30 years has passed and many of my classmates are now grandparents and I'm
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not too far off either. I loved my childhood. I loved my friends. Of course, I'm exhibiting a bias of
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favoring the positive. However, in contrast to the world my children grew up in, I'm grateful that we
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had so much freedom to explore, play, be independent, and not be in prison to our devices. I wonder if
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social media and device addiction is really the next great plague that we can't or refuse to see.
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Well, I think we all know that social media is messing up our brains, but you can't really.
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I mean, I was thinking about this the other day. I think most relationships start either through
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social media or dating apps. So if you don't do it that way, you're kind of left behind.
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I mean, you might die alone. Not always, but I'm just, I'm saying that's a huge pond there.
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If you don't do it that way, you're kind of cooked to some extent.
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So this show, you know, what I thought was the most interesting about this topic
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is what he said about personality traits and how people consistently, even if it had been 30 years,
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had the same core personality traits. And this really got me in like deep thought for like two
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days. I don't, I don't think that this is what social media is rotting our brain. I don't think
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it should have had me thinking for two full days, but I thought so much. I just thought I must,
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I have to do a show on this topic. Now my dad, he's the wisest guy I've ever met in my life. I am so
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delusional that I literally think my father is smarter than Donald Trump. I do. And my dad,
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I say this to him sometimes that my dad is just like, what is wrong? You know, but I do. I'm like,
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I don't think, I'm like, if I wish I could have a camera following my father for a day because that
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is the most productive, most intelligent and just good natured man I've ever met, really. I mean,
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it's kind of what made me in a way less religious because my dad, he's not really the most religious
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guy and he's the most moral person I've ever met in my life. And the religious people I would meet
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would be batshit crazy. Not all, but just enough, especially the women. If I'm being, if I'm going
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to be like for real here, women are the worst marketing for any religion ever, ever. If you
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want people to come to your church, there's this idea and maybe the boobs will get the men in for a
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little bit. But then once the women crash out, anyways, neither here nor there. So a couple of
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years ago, this story doesn't make me look the best, but I'm going to tell it anyway. I was dating
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this guy. My dad just was not the biggest fan. This was like in my early twenties. And, you know,
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I was talking to my dad about him and I was like, dad, do people change? You know, like the bright eyed,
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bushy tailed, young little pearl. Right. And he looks at me and he said, yeah, people do change.
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They get worse over time. I got to stop banging the desk, don't I? And he said, they get worse over
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time. So any trait you see now that you don't like, just know it'll be worse in 10 years. It will not
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get better. And this really had me thinking at the time I did end up breaking up with this,
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this guy. I did end up dumping him, but it got me thinking, um, about what I'd seen in terms of
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people's personality traits. But when you're young, you know, I think there's just a level.
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And this is why men love the young women. We're just so full of hope back then. You know,
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we're so naive. We're so like bright eyed and bushy tailed. Um, but I personally know what it's
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like to be bright eyed and bushy tailed and have people, um, and I should say movements take advantage
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of that in a way, you know, they sell you a future, they sell you hope when really no one can really
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say for sure what's going to happen. But if we follow where the trends are going, it's all pretty much
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not great if I'm being honest here. Um, neither here nor there. I gotta, I gotta stop going down
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this. So anyways, at the time I was in my young twenties and when my dad said this to me, I didn't
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really have the life experience or the perspective to know if that was true or untrue. But I have to say
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whenever somebody has done me wrong in life, whenever there's been somebody, and I keep saying
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this on the show, whenever there's been somebody that has done something negative towards me, I keep
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saying my enemies, they have a tendency to take themselves out. There was a woman, not even going
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to say her name, but she's been crashing out on me for years. And I would say mercilessly has bullied
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me. And, uh, you know, I choose to be here. So I I'm not playing victim. I'm not, I'm just saying
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objectively, I think she made videos pinpointing every little detail of what is wrong with my face.
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You know, I, I, you know, it's like, I'm just trying to talk and she has a video nitpicking every
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little part of my face. I'm like, can a bitch exist? You know, that's how women are. And it turns out,
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you know, I'm not even going to the rumors about her, but I'll just say they're, they're 10 times
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worse. And the things I found out about this woman, I'm like, you have to deal with yourself.
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I don't even have to get revenge. And I think that's really been true for the most part in life
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is people that have a super negative trait about them. It tends to not change. And I would say it tends
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to just get worse over time. Now I do think people have ideological shifts. So I do think I have
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seen men and women go from conservative to liberal and liberal to conservative, but I do at times not
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Nala, but I do at times think there's genuine change in those shifts. Um, but you know, for example,
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I have a close friend who he's a, I love him, but he's a libtard. You know what I mean? He is who he
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is. And, um, but he used to be very far right. And I would say the people that tend to go one way and
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go another, it's more of a personality trait where they're just very open-minded. You know,
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they're very, and while they might believe one thing or another, maybe they're really naive and
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they're just the, that kind of person that is a naive person. And that can be easily swayed one
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way or another where, you know, I've always, um, I've always envied in a way people that could just
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have an opinion and not have to talk about it or think about and think about every angle for three
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hours, because I guess I make money doing this now, but in, in an average world, you know, when I was
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younger, I used to not go out to bars. Like I would be invited to events and I wouldn't go because
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I wanted to binge YouTube. Like, I think something is off with me. Do you know what I mean? I'm like,
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that's not normal for a 23 year old woman to do like, I, you know, and I remember my friends,
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they would, they would ask me to go to stuff and I would just be really bored by the idea of like
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going to this event where I'm going to do what, I'm a bad dancer. Now I have to get all these
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calories. I'm going to have to work off later. I should just hang out and do YouTube. I've heard
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the zoomers are worse than the millennials. I'm almost a zoomer, but not quite. So, but it still
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gets me thinking, I think people's core traits are the same, but at times there is a skill deficit.
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Give you another example. I was never the type to really shake it and move on the dance floor.
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I never, I was always kind of grossed out, but you know, when I was younger,
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it was really grinding or nothing. And I'm like, why does it, why do these have to be my choices?
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It's like grinding or like white people jumping. I'm like, well, these are my choice. So I never
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liked dancing. But then I learned the skill of salsa dancing. And I actually thought it was really fun
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because, you know, it was more of like a framework and I'm kind of athletic. So,
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um, so I may act different in that environment and in an environment I normally would just be off to
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myself because I had a new skill. And I think that's true sometimes with men and women where men,
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I mean, women are kind of scary. And I think men know that from a young age, you know, the woman says
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you hit her, even though she hit you five times first in the playground. And now you're,
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you're grounded, right? So men learn from a young age, it's like women of all this power,
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she'll insult you. And then the second you insult her back, your mom's like, what are you doing?
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You mean? And you're like, are you kidding me? So I think men kind of start, uh, you know,
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kind of afraid of women. And there are men that that's kind of something they have to overcome
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to approach women in public or like say hi to them, whatever. That's a skill. But if you ask any of
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people that know them, who they are at their core, you know, they're either friendly, the friendly guy
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in the group, the, you know, there's always the leader in the guy group because men naturally can
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have a hierarchy. Women's leader in the friend group is usually the bitch where men's leader in
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the friend group is usually the most competent one or charismatic, I'd say in general, because men
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naturally can organize themselves a little better. Where women, it's like, who can get away with the
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worst behavior? We're going to put her on top. Um, but neither here nor there.
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I think people's core is pretty much the same from the time that you're a young age.
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And the amount of time it would take, like, I'll give you, I'll use me as an example because it's
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just easier. And I'll use someone else in a second. I've always been a friendly, talkative person.
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I've always, you know, I could always talk someone's ear off. I've always, I've always been
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the smile. You know, when I was in college, I don't think most people knew I was conservative,
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but I was always the type, like, I don't think it would surprise people that I'm a YouTuber now.
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Like I used to rollerblade on campus with my dog and like a tie dye shirt. I'd have cat shirts.
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So I think people might've thought I was a hippie. Do you know what I mean? Because of the way I,
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I used to be big into the cat shirts actually. But if you talk to me, my core, you know, was an
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outgoing person and the amount of time it would take me to be introverted, I'd rather just kill
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myself. Like it would just, I like the, the amount that I would have to fight to be something I'm not.
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And, you know, and I think that's like a lesson you have to go through in life.
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If you're a polite person, being a bitch is just not going to come to you. You probably can't do it.
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You can learn skills to maybe that people don't take advantage of you as much.
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But if you're a bitch, you might as well be a bitch for a good cause. I saw this crazy woman on Twitter
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and this was a woman obviously addicted to social media, obviously a trad con ethot. And, um,
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to the point where there was the, she put like a selfie next to the parks shooting, right?
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And that's a disgusting thing to do. I'm a lighthearted person. So I'm saying this probably in the wrong
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tone, but you know, when she's doing this, I'm thinking this woman's crazy, but this same crazy
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woman got like 400 liberals fired. And I'm thinking that's a woman using her crazy for good at least,
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but the amount of time it would take her to undo the crazy impossible. I mean, some guy would have
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to wrestle it out of her. Uh, good luck. Uh, she'll do that to you. To be fair, she will do that to you
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when you guys break up, whoever's dating her. So, you know, I'd, I'd, you know, be, I'd be warned,
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but. And so that's really what I was really thinking of it. I was wondering if you guys had
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the same experience, if you've seen people change or if they generally say the same, I've seen people
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maybe have slight ideological changes. Um, I've seen at times maybe certain environments change people,
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but, and I've heard people say the military changes people. Now, I don't know. I need you
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guys to call in. I know there's a lot of military people that watch this show. Um, and I cannot,
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I've never been in the military, so I cannot speak to that. And I know this comparison I'm about to
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make is a terrible comparison to the military. This is not the same. This is not the same. I'm gonna,
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but this is the only comparison I have based on what I've seen. Okay. So please don't roast me,
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but this is, so when I did volleyball, this is not the same, but we did have volleyball. Like we did
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have very extreme workouts in, in volleyball. Now for women, I will say, but we had like three minute,
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I actually picked my school because I've just naturally, I'm a very passionate person and I've
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realized in life this at times can be my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. Um, but I really
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wanted a volleyball school that was going to push me. And I actually picked the school I did because
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they didn't follow NCAA guidelines. I think they got in trouble later, but I wanted to be in the gym more
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because I was like, this isn't enough. I get like two hours a day. This is bullshit. Women whine. And
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then they, we had, they limit your gym time. They say, you can't be in the gym longer. And these coaches,
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they did not care. They did not. So if you wanted to be anyways. So hang on, it's all right. So
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we would have like 50 burpees. I think we had to do in like a certain amount of time. I think it was
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like two minutes or something. You had to do 50 burpees. You had to do the beep test over a certain
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number. You had to do an 800. And there were women that worked harder than I would say they normally
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did. But I would still say, if you looked at the group of women, you could pick out the three women
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that usually worked the hardest and the three women that usually like, there is this one girl and I knew
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she was going to be a balloon. I knew she was going to be fat because we would have to do these group
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workouts. And oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. She would always like, we would have to do, I think it was
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50 burpees in four minutes. I would have to look at the book. I don't remember, but there was one way
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you did the burpees where it was like a hundred and it was like a group of six or three or I don't know.
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But I, all I remember is we kept having to restart this challenge because of this young woman who was
00:20:13.760
just very lazy. I think that's actually the worst trait you can have in the wife is a lazy woman.
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I know hardworking is more of something women select for, but when I look at my brother's
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girlfriends, my, I just can't stand lazy like women, to be honest. So they've all done pretty
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well with that though. Got girls they've chosen. Anyways. So this girl for a few years, I would say
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she did complete the workout. She maybe got a little bit better, but after college she blew up
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like a balloon. Like it was like, and I knew she would because her personality at its core was lazy.
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When someone was screaming at her, maybe she could be a little bit less lazy, but you know, that's just
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who she was. And I've never seen people's core change over time. Sorry. Not really. And there are
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some traits that are so apprehensible that I get, you have to work on them, you know, and I would argue
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lazy is one of them. But what I was thinking about in this in-depth thing is how in general,
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it's kind of a waste of time to try to be something you're not because in general, you kind of are who
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you are. And I think from a young age, like my mom told me, she said, when you were four years old,
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you were singing. So from the time I was four years old, I was always singing a song. I was always
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taught. And in contrast, one of my other siblings, I'm one of 10. So I think I've had the privilege of
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seeing how personality traits are very much, I think, genetic, a lot of it. Because I actually
00:22:01.260
have a unique story about this. So when I was younger, I grew up, I was one of six kids. So
00:22:08.340
my original family, I was the second of six, I was the oldest girl, between two boys. So if you guys
00:22:13.240
are wondering why I can think like this, thank my brothers. But we ended up adopting three siblings.
00:22:20.260
So we had three siblings that we like adopted. They were like teenagers. So they weren't like
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originally in our family. Like one kid was homeless on my brother's football team. Another kid was like,
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they were just kids in bad situations. My parents weren't like looking to adopt. I mean, we're glad
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we did. But they were like 15 when we got them. But anyways, when I'm 22, my parents sat us down.
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And I found out I had a brother that grew up actually with a different family because my parents
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got pregnant, like pretty young, and they didn't really know if they were going to be together.
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And so they ended up giving this kid up for adoption. I had a grown brother. And I think I was
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22 when I found out and he was like 30 something. So he was an adult, right? And we ended up meeting
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him. And this guy, or my brother, at the time, he was just like a stranger to me, right? I couldn't
00:23:12.300
believe how similar he was to my family. Before that, I thought that it was nurture over nature
00:23:19.960
because I would look at these single mother stats, right? And I would look at them and I would just
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say, oh my gosh, you know, kids in these environments are cuckoo. But I met my brother
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and my brother, he walked like my dad. He, you know, he studied economics in school, which is what
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I studied. He grew up in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to say too many details, but he grew
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up in the middle of nowhere. His parents had never left his hometown. And he traveled the world on a
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boat, which is my family. I grew up traveling the world. Like I was sent off to Japan when I was 12 by
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myself. When I was 10, my mom sent me off to Germany. I met somebody they knew there, but you
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know, some would look at that as a lot for a 10-year-old, but it wasn't, it's not really a big
00:24:09.740
deal. My family, I don't know, they just, she was like, you want to go to Germany? I'm like, hell yeah,
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I do. And I'm like 10. And they're like, all right, we'll see ya. And then I saw one of my old nannies at
00:24:20.280
the time. But this got me thinking that really trying to be something you're not is a waste of time.
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Learning skills is not. Approaching women, that's a skill. I have seen men go from being shyer to like
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being able to, I would say it's the skill of displaying your personality. Maybe learning
00:24:43.420
social skills because we're all autistic. I mean, let's be honest, if you're under 30,
00:24:48.780
you got some level of not real autism, but like technology-induced autism. And if you're going to
00:24:58.080
pretend you don't have it, I don't need you to gaslight me today. You know, you know, to some extent
00:25:05.740
because to exist, we really have needed technology. I don't know. I always wonder how, if my brain
00:25:13.180
would start changing to understand directions if I didn't have GPS. But my whole life, I mean, what,
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am I going to learn directions when I could just plug it into my GPS? Why would I do that? It's a waste of
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time. And this is also matches up with what my dad has said to me. And I'm going to tell you about what
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I think is my worst traits, one of my worst ones. You know, I've always, I've just never been an
00:25:38.200
organized person. And I think you guys feel it through the camera. I start the show late. I think I've
00:25:44.800
changed the time like three times this year. And I really wish I wasn't like that. And I think,
00:25:52.400
you know, somebody that's really organized, what they tend to do is they tend to judge the disorganized
00:25:59.620
for being how we are. And I think I, you know, I, I just did it in this stream, right? I judge lazy
00:26:05.140
women for being lazy, right? But the thing is, most people probably hate their negative traits more
00:26:12.880
than you do. Like most, most people know what their negative traits are to some extent, at least by
00:26:19.600
the time they're 30, maybe not young, maybe not young women. Actually, they're pretty delusional,
00:26:24.260
but no, do you know what? I have a theory on that different show, but if I'm, if I'm hearing from
00:26:33.100
Brian Johnson, this guy is saying at his 30 year reunion, people still have the same personality traits.
00:26:39.440
It seems like a waste of time to some extent. Bad habits, you know, you can work to fix. Oh,
00:26:48.420
but back to what my dad was saying. I'm a woman. It's like, I keep thinking of all this. My dad was
00:26:52.700
telling me, he said, and I remember telling him how frustrated I was. I was like, dad, I am just so
00:26:59.960
disorganized. I hate that I forget things everywhere. I hate that I do. I, I forget things. I, I lose.
00:27:06.660
Do you know how many credit cards I've been through this? And do you know what? The worst
00:27:11.880
part is they don't get stolen. I lose them somewhere in my house and I find them later.
00:27:17.640
I, I'm not saying, look at, I'm not saying that couldn't happen to me that, you know,
00:27:21.380
I don't want to jinx it in case that does, but so far in my life that getting it stolen hasn't
00:27:26.820
been a problem. Me losing it somewhere in my house, that's been a problem. And he just said, look,
00:27:32.160
you got to focus on what you're good at. You're hardworking, you're passionate about things.
00:27:37.640
And he listed, you know, some of my more positive traits. And he said, look, at the amount of time
00:27:42.520
it's going to take you to fix your net, it's going to take you too long. You might as well focus on
00:27:46.340
what you're good at. And I thought about it and I'm like, what if Trump tried to be like a peacemaker?
00:27:52.600
I know, I know people kind of argue that he somewhat is in the position he is, but when you,
00:27:57.100
when you talk to him, I mean, he's loud, he's boisterous, he's this, he's that.
00:28:00.440
Imagine if he tried to be something he wasn't, it would just never work. He would just be a bad
00:28:04.980
version of that. And again, I've learned a lot of lessons from my dad and I think he's right. Like
00:28:13.880
I'm going to say 80% of the time, 80, 85, 90, I'll say 90. But I don't think people change as much as
00:28:25.560
you think. I think at times they learn skills that help them or move, they learn to better hide
00:28:32.760
their negative traits or they move into environments that help them thrive. Like I'll give you an
00:28:38.660
example. Imagine if I tried to be an accountant. Do you know what I mean? That would be terrible for
00:28:44.000
everybody involved. That would be terrible for everybody. I remember when I found this job,
00:28:50.640
I just thought finally I can, I can talk into a microphone. I can talk for two hours straight and
00:28:56.760
people have to listen. They don't have to, you guys opt in. That's why I like this. Cause you,
00:29:01.560
you opt in and, and I always, I just felt like, okay, this was finally an environment. I could be
00:29:07.760
good at something. And, um, I felt the same way in sports when I played volleyball because I felt like,
00:29:15.020
in school, I just couldn't always see the pragmatism and what I was learning. But if some,
00:29:21.820
if they taught me like a blocking technique and I started blocking better, you know, it would just
00:29:28.180
the turnover, like I would, I would understand it better. So anyways, my point is this. I don't think
00:29:36.460
people change as much as you think. I think most people hate their negative personality traits as much
00:29:44.620
as you do. And I think women miss this a lot in marriage and relationships. I think women,
00:29:49.680
we have a tendency to spend a lot of time nagging and, and bitching about a man's negative personality
00:29:58.980
traits when generally he knows and he doesn't like it just as much as, ah, women are really hateful.
00:30:04.860
So I don't know that maybe she hates it more, but you get the idea. Um, and women do it to each other
00:30:10.580
too. Um, I mean, women, I could talk about the relentless, you know, it's like the woman that
00:30:18.060
made the two hour video and how I could be more attractive. I'm like, don't, I wish I was,
00:30:22.580
do you know what I mean? And I'm not, I'm, you know, I'm not saying I'm ugly either. I'm not trying
00:30:26.760
to, but you guys see what I mean. I'm like, you don't think I, you know, wish that I, you know,
00:30:32.380
that I was like a Megan Fox level. I mean, that would be not, do you know what I mean?
00:30:38.280
Anyways. So, but I think in general, people's core stays the same. They might change environments.
00:30:47.080
They might change ideological positions, but you know, the people that are debating about conservative
00:30:53.140
and liberal, um, they might change teams, but they're the same type of person in the room.
00:31:00.080
They're the type of person to debate. Now I'm trying to think of where else I saw this.
00:31:07.760
Oh, Nala. I will, I will have to add Nala into this monologue. That's why these ex-corn stars are so,
00:31:15.940
um, dangerous is because they're really predatory and vicious. They've just changed teams. Instead of
00:31:22.120
getting the OF simps, they've moved to the church simps. A lot of you guys step right up. I mean,
00:31:28.820
I get more black-pilled every year. So this is a call-in show. And remember, this is an actual safe
00:31:35.500
space. So this, today, there are different shows where we'll have different ways of doing things.
00:31:42.080
But today, it's really not meant, I'm not going to judge you either way. I just want to see what
00:31:48.120
you've seen. Have you seen people have radical personality changes?
00:31:53.440
At this point in my life, I just don't think I have. Not from the people that really know the
00:32:01.500
person. I will say maybe some life events instill humility in somebody that never had
00:32:07.600
humility. You know, you ever see like a woman after she gets like pumped and dumped or something,
00:32:13.720
but then she gets more, you know, then she gets more bitchy after because she gets bitter and then it
00:32:18.840
gets worse. So never mind. Never mind. So we're going to put the link, can you put the link in the
00:32:24.080
chat? Then we'll do the Zoom. Let me, so I'm just curious what you guys have seen in terms of
00:32:40.580
personality traits. Well, I think I emailed it to myself. Yeah, this is from 41 minutes ago
00:33:03.440
because I don't have signal on this computer. All right, we got Doug MPA.
00:33:17.400
Well, welcome. Sorry, I unmuted myself forgetting. Welcome to the show, Doug MPA.
00:33:27.720
So what are your thoughts on the topic? Have you, what do you think? Do you think people change
00:33:36.420
over time or do you think they mostly stay the same? They mostly stay the same. If you guys really
00:33:42.880
think about it, the douchebags that you went to high school with are still douchebags. I knew this kid
00:33:50.080
one time and he, he was an asshole in high school. And then I was out and about in community college.
00:33:57.720
And then I saw him and he was in sweatpants and like a sweatshirt and he was walking all funny.
00:34:05.320
And he had like a medical aid with him. We were at the movie. He was at the movie theater because I
00:34:10.180
was about to go see a movie. And I'm like, Hey man, like, are you okay? He's like, yeah, you know,
00:34:14.480
I ended up having cancer. And then I was allergic to some of the cancer treatment. So I had like a minor
00:34:20.780
stroke and I had to learn to walk again. And I almost died. And I'm like, Oh my God. Wow. Like,
00:34:26.700
you know, this must've been a life changing experience. I mean, are you okay? He's like,
00:34:30.520
yeah, I'm okay. Whatever. I was like, all right. So, um, a new retail store opened up in my hometown
00:34:38.480
and I applied there. This is when I was like, uh, in my early twenties, I applied there and I started
00:34:43.480
working there and this kid started working there. So we started working together and he was still
00:34:50.440
the same asshole that he was in high school. And at this place that we worked at, and he went through
00:34:58.580
like a life changing, he had a stroke, he had to learn how to walk again. He almost died. And it's like,
00:35:03.560
so those stories where someone has a life, um, a life changing experience and change their behavior
00:35:09.600
that doesn't happen guys. No, no way. New. I've never seen that happen where someone goes to do
00:35:15.600
something. Well, I'm asking. So I'm trying to think of if anybody, I mean, I've seen maybe,
00:35:27.980
I think people could change maybe like 10%, 15%, but I did have another story. Um, an undergrad,
00:35:38.540
I worked at a, uh, a home improvement store and this guy, he was retired. He, he was a Vietnam vet.
00:35:46.140
And I used to always be out in the garden. I used to like it out there because people would just leave
00:35:51.980
you alone. And this guy always needed stuff that had to be brought down with a forklift.
00:35:57.320
And so he'd be sitting there. I got to know him because, uh, in the evening time, the garden is
00:36:03.620
the last place anyone wants to be. So he'd always be waiting for someone to come for a forklift. And
00:36:07.440
I kept apologizing like, sir, I'm so sorry you have to wait. So one day he's like, son, why do you
00:36:11.920
always apologize? I have nothing else to do except be out here and wait for my bricks to be brought
00:36:17.120
down. He said, son, when I was young, I was a hothead. I used to get in fights all the time,
00:36:21.340
this, whatever. Then I did two tours in Vietnam and that really chilled me out. He's like, you know,
00:36:29.440
after that, he's like, I haven't thought of a time I haven't got upset because, because I survived two
00:36:34.380
tours in Vietnam. So he, he's one of the few people where he told me his story where he did have a life
00:36:40.180
change. But in general, people don't change. In fact, guys, um, if you, most of the time, if a man
00:36:49.660
leaves a woman, it's because you see where the ship is floating with that woman, you know, where
00:36:56.220
she's going to end up and you got to jump off the ship before she takes you with her. Like most of
00:37:02.900
the women that, you know, that are going to be baby mamas are going to be baby mamas. Most of the
00:37:08.420
women that you think are going to be whores are going to be whores. You just have to choose early
00:37:12.520
on if you want to deal with that or not. What do you think about that? Probably? No, I totally agree
00:37:18.420
with you. I was just thinking back. I cannot think of any, but I'm, I'm only, you know, I'm under 30.
00:37:27.120
I'm going to, I'm going to hold on to that as long as I can every day. Um, but so I don't know,
00:37:37.280
I could change my mind in 10 years as a woman. I do reserve the right to change my mind at any
00:37:43.120
time. So, but I cannot think of anybody that I like went to school with, or I knew from childhood
00:37:53.180
that is that different or had like, like most of the girls I knew that were pretty lazy got fat
00:38:00.760
and I saw that coming. There are, there are ways to take your negative characteristics
00:38:09.040
and they could turn it into a positive thing. So my sister is everything that we talk about.
00:38:15.320
She's in her late forties, never had a serious relationship. She's never going to, right?
00:38:20.280
So when she, um, but she's one of the most selfish people I've ever met.
00:38:27.820
And so she'll date these Pookies and Nug Nugs, but you don't ever have to worry about them getting
00:38:35.160
money or anything out of her because her family can't get anything out of her. No one can get
00:38:40.280
anything out of her. You have to, you have to pry money from her cold, dead fingers before you get
00:38:47.400
money from her. Understand what I'm saying? Yeah. So she's, she's actually really good with money
00:38:53.480
and she has a lot of things. She's one of those women where she spends frivolously,
00:38:58.020
but she's also like the most selfish person I've met, but it's paid off because she has a lot of
00:39:02.740
stuff, you know, she's, she plans financially well and she keeps all the money to herself.
00:39:07.300
You know, imagine a successful woman. No guys, imagine you're a man who has a mastery and six figures,
00:39:15.460
but you've never spent money on a woman ever in your life. That's my sister.
00:39:21.700
What are traits that you would say you have not seen change and will not change? So I'm going to,
00:39:29.980
I'm going to start. I have never seen a lazy person. Stop being lazy. I've never seen it.
00:39:37.380
I've never seen an outgoing person or shy person.
00:39:47.840
I've never seen somebody, instead of outgoing, I'll say not talkative because someone can be shy,
00:39:53.700
but still talkative once you get to know them. But I've never seen like a not talkative person,
00:39:59.240
like magically become talkative or outgoing person become shy. Yeah. What are,
00:40:05.660
what are other traits you've seen? So probably selfish. That doesn't change.
00:40:10.120
Selfish. I've never seen a petty person not be petty. You're petty, right?
00:40:22.980
Hey, um, bitchy. Um, yeah. Yeah. People that complain. Oh, um,
00:40:30.020
people that are late. Oh yeah. People that are late. They'll never not be late ever.
00:40:36.020
Yeah. Ever. And it's, I think one of the problems of life is people always project how you want
00:40:42.020
someone to be. And I think the happiest people can just accept and adapt. You know what I mean?
00:40:49.040
Like, um, if women are late, then show up to the date 30 minutes late. Cause you're going to go
00:40:54.720
crazy. You're going to go crazy. Expecting them to be on time. You might as well be late.
00:41:01.700
There's some other ones. Oh, um, uh, people that, Oh, Oh, people with integrity.
00:41:08.740
If you don't have integrity by the time you're, you're in your mid twenties, you're just not going
00:41:14.920
to have it, you know, as in like saying what you doing, what you say, having follow through a lot
00:41:23.480
of people, they just won't have it. Oh. And then people, so there's normally two kinds in the
00:41:29.800
corporate world and in public service, there's two kinds of people. There are people whose skills
00:41:35.320
and abilities make them important by their work ethic and their work output. And then there are
00:41:40.440
people who, who try to schmooze and lie and, and, and, uh, latch onto other people's work
00:41:52.220
Yeah, pretty much. So if a person is the type of person that tries to lie, cheat and steal their way
00:42:00.220
to the top, they're never going to change that. They're always going to be trying to find some kind of
00:42:05.140
hustle. They're always going to try to latch onto your dream and, and milk you for money.
00:42:09.600
They just, you, they start doing that early on and they never stopped doing it.
00:42:17.480
Those are good. Do you have any more? I'm going to milk you. I'm going to milk you for these.
00:42:21.820
Uh, it's another one. Um, Oh, have you, have you, have you hired people at work?
00:42:29.980
Yeah. I have. Okay. I was like, it sounds, it sounds like you've done hiring. Go ahead.
00:42:33.620
Yeah. And you know, I've, I've managed people too. Um, Oh, um,
00:42:43.080
Uh, people. So we all have that, those people, they're always in a relationship, like always.
00:42:51.340
Oh, like I know a guy literally, he's been in a relationship with one woman or another
00:43:02.680
And he's, he's my age and he's married now, but he was never not in a relationship.
00:43:07.760
Must be nice. Um, are there any other ones? Um, Oh, people that can't drive people that drive for
00:43:19.560
shit. I'm a bad driver. That's right. No, you're not. You're actually a really good driver. We
00:43:26.520
talking about really, you're giving me around. You didn't back into any mailboxes. You, you
00:43:32.480
curbs that we talking about. Okay. I'm not terrible, but here's my problem. I, I can zone
00:43:40.020
out and that's usually when shit hits the fan. Uh, what else? Um, uh, I already said integrity.
00:43:50.760
I would say people that, um, uh, Oh yeah. Um, so there's this book that I always plug called
00:44:01.640
messy. It's, it's called, uh, it's written by Tim Harper. It's called messy. How to be creative
00:44:09.280
and resilient and a tidy minded world. So guys, okay. You don't want to be a dirty person where
00:44:16.520
your house, it smells really bad, whatever, but they're just messy people. Like I'm one of those
00:44:22.320
there are people where you have clean clothes, but they just never make it on the hanger.
00:44:27.140
I understand what I'm saying. Or, um, you, you, you clean your dishes, but you pull them
00:44:33.540
out of the dishwasher to use them. And if you're not a super clean and tidy person, it's not a bad
00:44:41.840
thing because you, that energy, that super tidy, clean people use for that you use towards other
00:44:49.060
things as in like creative endeavors or, or stuff like that. So don't feel bad. If you're a messy
00:44:55.600
person, you're using that energy for other aspects of your life besides cleanliness.
00:45:01.840
Yeah. And I think that's from a young age. Yeah. I do think part of it's a skill issue. Like, um,
00:45:08.680
because like a lot of people didn't grow up with moms teaching them how to do that stuff. But I,
00:45:14.260
I do think messy and like clean from a young age.
00:45:17.420
Yeah. So I think, um, once again, I think everyone should be, should have cleanliness,
00:45:23.980
but you know, if you have stuff going on, I've worked two jobs most of my life, even
00:45:29.020
when I was in undergrad school and I was pursuing so many things that I just didn't have time to be
00:45:34.480
clean and tidy. And so, yeah, most of the time, if you're a messy person, just, you know, just accept
00:45:41.280
it and try to figure out a way around it. Yeah. Oh, like it's easier to hire a maid than it,
00:45:46.620
like, or get like a cleaning service, then try to change your whole personality.
00:45:51.380
100%. Yeah. 100%. Oh, uh, what about this? People that read books.
00:45:57.700
Okay. Do you know what? I used to be a person that read like a ton. Like when I was a kid,
00:46:05.020
I was like the top AR person. And do you know what stopped it? You know, when I stopped reading so
00:46:10.420
much, I got a fricking smartphone. And then I could, I could listen to the podcast. I'm like,
00:46:17.800
this is way better. Why did I read ever? I swear. I used to be like the top AR point or whatever in
00:46:26.880
my class. And then, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although the, the books I do read, I still get physical books
00:46:35.620
because I like the smell of the pages and I, you know, I like holding the book in my hand
00:46:40.000
when I read, I've, I sit in front of a computer all day, you know, working for this channel and
00:46:45.840
working my day job. I don't want to read a book on an iPad too. You know, no way. Someone put in
00:46:51.860
the chat, what do you think about, um, being a morning person or a night owl? Do you think that
00:46:57.600
you can change that? Okay. I have done both. I have. Um, okay. I'll just speak from my experience.
00:47:07.940
I can't, I don't think I've observed enough people. I have always been a night owl, obviously.
00:47:15.480
Um, and I can get to the point where I can get up at like eight o'clock or maybe seven 30. But if I
00:47:23.220
have to get up before that, I can't do it. I did 5.00 AM for like six months and I wanted to die the
00:47:28.800
whole time. I wanted to, it was like, I felt awful. So I don't know. I don't know if I can get to like
00:47:36.960
seven 30 or eight easily, like getting up is that's, that's not a morning person though. Right. That's
00:47:43.060
like normal. Yeah. That's normal. Morning people are those, um, you ever have a job where you have
00:47:50.640
to be there at six and like, Oh hell no. Oh hell no. I'd rather kill myself. No. I remember,
00:47:57.520
you know, I worked at a home improvement store and the old guy, the older guys were like, Oh yeah,
00:48:02.900
it's six o'clock, you know, but by six o'clock half the day is gone already. I'm like, you better
00:48:07.460
get out of my face. No. Okay. I disagree because their day just ends sooner. You still know. Okay.
00:48:15.520
Like, because I did, I used to wake up at 5.00 AM for this like CrossFit class and I was in my,
00:48:22.180
I was in my, I used to do a 5.00 AM CrossFit class when I worked a sales job. So I would go
00:48:28.420
before work and I would think, Oh, well now I have all this. Now I'll have all this time after work,
00:48:34.360
but you start going to events and you're yawning. Do you know what I'm like? Cause if you want to sleep,
00:48:40.860
uh, seven hours, if you get up at five, that means you're in bed by 10. So if you go to an event
00:48:47.720
and that means sleeping by 10. Okay. So that means in bed by like nine or eight 30. So if you go to an
00:48:55.340
event, like, which I would say normal events, volleyball leagues would be like seven to nine.
00:49:00.600
I mean, you're yawning at not, or like even in your twenties, you might go out from like 10,
00:49:05.840
10 PM to like one or two in the morning. I remember, I just, I would try to go be social
00:49:11.940
or go to something and I would just be yawning, you know? And I just, I couldn't. Yeah.
00:49:18.000
I knew a girl and, uh, she, she bought a house that was way too big and she was, um, she had roommates,
00:49:28.320
but then they all moved out. So she's struggling to make her rent. So she had her day job,
00:49:34.260
but she was able to swing working a retail job. This is during the cough, cough. She's able to
00:49:40.040
swing because she was remote. So she's able to swing working two retail jobs during the time that
00:49:48.820
she was supposed to be working her day job. So she, she would get up at six in the morning
00:49:54.280
and work at an Amazon warehouse from six to 11, and then get what was done. Supposed to be done on
00:50:01.600
her day job from like 11 to three and then go to another repo, another retail place from three to
00:50:06.820
seven to make her bills. Right. So one time her friends were like, Hey girl, you should come out
00:50:13.020
with us. Uh, you haven't been out in a while. It's been a while. She's like, well, I can't cause you
00:50:18.000
know, I have to, I have to work to pay my bills. Come on girl. So they went to this comedy club.
00:50:23.580
So she left the retail place and went to this comedy club. And then they said, okay, we're going to go
00:50:29.980
somewhere. She had a couple of drinks there and they were going to go to this like bar or whatever
00:50:34.100
afterwards. And she was driving her Jeep and she was waiting in the left turn lane at a red light.
00:50:43.120
And she fell asleep behind the wheel. And so people called the police. Woo. Right. And she was at the
00:50:50.620
comedy club and she had a couple of drinks. So guess what happened? She blew a DUI. Oh no.
00:50:58.740
Yeah. All cause she decided to go out. So she, she got, she got up at five o'clock in the morning
00:51:04.760
to go to the Amazon warehouse at six, work till seven and then tried to go out, ended up getting
00:51:11.120
a DUI cause she fell asleep behind the wheel cause she was up too late.
00:51:17.540
Yeah. Um, as a night owl, I can get up to like, I think 7am. If I can really stay off by phone,
00:51:26.460
I think seven is the earliest I could get to, but five. Oh hell no. I'd rather die.
00:51:32.720
Are you a nap person, Pearlie? Nope. I can't nap. You don't take naps? Nope. Oh man. I got to
00:51:39.880
have a nap during the day, like 30 to 45 minutes or I get upset. Only if I got drunk the night before
00:51:47.360
then I might, then I might need a nap, but just normally no. Um, all right, let's, let's see what
00:51:52.380
the people think. Um, guys. So what I want you to do is please make sure your YouTube is
00:51:57.960
not playing in the background. Uh, make sure your mic is on. You don't have to be on camera,
00:52:03.940
but it would be nice to see some of your faces. So if you want to be on camera, it's cool.
00:52:09.340
Um, if, if you guys don't, um, get your technology working, I'm going to have to boot you. You just
00:52:16.160
got to figure it out. Um, yeah, go ahead. Just so fast guys, make sure to like the video, subscribe
00:52:22.780
to the channel. If you haven't already hit that join button, you can get a membership and the price
00:52:27.920
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00:52:33.420
for a membership. We're trying to regrow the community over there. It's always good to see
00:52:37.640
that the regulars, the linear Jeffrey page, Yakov JS. So thank you for being in the audacity chat. If you
00:52:44.100
sign up for the audacity chat website, you put pro read on your post in the audacity chat pro
00:52:49.680
would do her best to read it. So come on over there and thanks for all the YouTube regulars.
00:52:55.120
It's good to see you there too. Go ahead, pearly. Yeah. And guys, by the way, I really love giving
00:52:59.700
people good faith interviews and I can bring on some pretty interesting characters, but I got to get
00:53:05.700
enough people on the website where I'm employed. If I do that, it's something goes south with YouTube.
00:53:11.360
Um, you know, we've talked about having Nick F on and if we get enough people on the website,
00:53:16.200
I might do it. Um, the other thing, what was I going to say? Um, also it helps fund the
00:53:23.840
documentary. So if you want to donate, feel free. Um, okay. So if you come on, we're asking,
00:53:29.260
have you seen people change over time? If so, what traits did you see change? We're going to start
00:53:35.780
with Strat. Strat. How's it going? Um, yeah, I can hear you. So what are your thoughts on the
00:53:45.120
topic? Um, do you think people change? Uh, there's a Tony Robbins quote. It goes, people only change
00:53:52.680
when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. And, uh, that's what I've
00:53:57.560
noticed. You have to hit rock bottom before you're willing to change. And if someone isn't willing,
00:54:04.180
then you should just let them suffer. Like, it's not my job to fix you. You know, I'm not the keeper
00:54:09.940
of the peace and I'm certainly not going to be captain of USS Sabo. Yeah. So let's go. So are
00:54:16.520
there any instances that you've seen somebody change? Um, if so, what traits changed about them?
00:54:23.460
Uh, myself, I changed, um, two years ago, I was a hermit, terrified of women, never left the house
00:54:31.660
and I didn't do salsa dancing, but I learned, uh, waltz and swing and stuff. And that really like
00:54:38.020
did the exposure therapy necessary to stop being afraid of girls and, you know, did improv comedy
00:54:43.320
and all that kind of stuff. So. Do you think like people that knew you would say your whole
00:54:48.720
personality changed or you just got, Oh really? Okay. Cause from what I've seen. Nothing like I used
00:54:54.500
to be. Really? Cause when I talked to shy or guys or guys that I think have done that, like similar to
00:55:00.260
you, it's not really usually their person at like their core personality is the same. They just
00:55:05.440
learn the skills to show it, but you would say that's not the case. Like you, like I'm thinking
00:55:11.540
of somebody I knew from high school who was really quiet then, but this guy, when he was with his
00:55:16.340
friends, he was funny. He was, you know, when he was in more of a relaxed environment, but he just
00:55:21.160
didn't know how to showcase that, you know, to women in an appropriate way. Uh, would you say that
00:55:27.780
was your case or that you really just changed your whole personality? I think there was like
00:55:32.720
elements to that where like, when I was playing video games, maybe world of Warcraft, I would get
00:55:36.840
and be more animated, but I actually did have to learn like social skills. I read what everybody
00:55:43.520
is saying by John Navarro, the FBI dude to learn body language. I read what women want by Tucker
00:55:49.660
Maxx and all the red pill books. And they like tell you step-by-step autistic style, how to be fun,
00:55:55.960
how to like, uh, do a personality that women like, you know, be a little James Bond, a little mystery,
00:56:02.980
a little pirate to get you a little winch going. So you can do things to be fun. And I just didn't
00:56:08.760
know that. I just wasn't aware. And like, no one ever told me, my dad never sat down and told me,
00:56:13.060
Hey, is that you'd be fun. You know, you tell her this, you poke. So it's that amused mastery that
00:56:18.400
like I'm having fun. And this girl, she's just a little girl who cares, whatever. Like I'm here
00:56:21.940
to have fun. And that element was like a cheat code when you start acting like that. And the
00:56:27.560
dancing, of course, you know, that's also one of the biggest cheat codes you can have to become
00:56:32.520
more social wait tables. Yeah. Honestly, because that's what cracked the code for me. My first job
00:56:40.860
waiting tables opened up a whole new world, man. So I was Kevin Samuels. He used to tell the guys
00:56:46.960
that were engineers and stuff like that. Get a part-time job, waiting tables or become a
00:56:52.740
bartender. I think Aaron Clary says do that too. Yep. That's what happened for me. Yep. So you,
00:56:58.920
you went from world of Warcraft to the suave gentleman we see in front of us right now. Good
00:57:04.180
job, man. I was in a musical earlier this year. Thank you very much. So like right after dancing,
00:57:09.220
it was improv, did improv comedy, was in on stage doing improv, then learned to sing,
00:57:13.920
Ben did a musical right after that. What? Okay. So what traits do you think cannot be changed?
00:57:19.960
And what traits do you think can, this could be either observations from yourself or people that
00:57:25.540
you know, uh, narcissist personality disorder. Like if someone's diagnosed mentally ill NPD or
00:57:31.260
borderline, it's no go. I mean, even, even therapist will not take borderline patients. So yeah,
00:57:37.140
if she has like, you can, you can tell there's like tests you can do to see if someone has
00:57:41.800
borderline, if she has borderline guys run, there's no, it's, she's just a huge liability.
00:57:46.280
Look at Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. You don't want any puck in part of that shit. Like run for the
00:57:50.680
hills. It's not fixable. You're not, it's not your job to fix anyone. You're not a doctor. Okay.
00:57:55.160
Don't be USS save a hoe. Get out, find a better girl. Don't settle for that.
00:57:59.900
So if she's mentally ill, that's for any other traits. Like what about, um, outside of mental illness?
00:58:06.560
Um, if she likes you enough and she's not mentally ill, most girls will get on your program,
00:58:14.020
but you have to be like celebrity larger than lifestyle or, or so, so much what she wants
00:58:20.220
that you're like a celebrity. Don't you? Sorry. Go ahead. That's what I was just saying. Like if,
00:58:24.780
if you're a celebrity like Drake, sure girl will do whatever you want, but sometimes you can be like
00:58:29.220
a small town hero and still get that celebrity status and she'll adore you. It's just, you gotta be
00:58:34.680
the exact right type that she wants. Don't you think that's just for a time period? Because I
00:58:39.280
guess I come at it from like the female like side. So we'll see like the friend date the guy
00:58:44.440
and you know, her traits may be changed for like a year, but everybody knows that like,
00:58:51.740
like, come on, at some point she's going to stop the act and be who she is.
00:58:57.120
Yes. If it's, if the man doesn't understand his role, so a good leader will keep her in line
00:59:03.900
such that when her behavior starts acting up, he's like, look, uh, as a policy, I do not tolerate
00:59:08.460
disrespect. And if it's a problem for you, you can, you need to leave. And then a lot of girls
00:59:12.420
would be like, Ooh, like straighten up, you know, cause they're testing him for his strength. And if
00:59:16.740
he shows strong leadership, then all that shit testing will go away and she'll just fall in line
00:59:21.400
and be submissive. And that can last a while. The problem is her friends, those goddamn friends,
00:59:27.380
man. They're always, and when he's bare minimum, he can do better. Meanwhile, she's like a three or a four
00:59:32.340
and I'm over here doing musicals and I'm not good enough for her. And so a lot of times,
00:59:36.580
even if you do everything right as the guy, her fucking friends will still get in her ear and
00:59:40.900
ruin it. I can add to that by saying, if you're a seven, um, date a four where, you know, she's a
00:59:49.920
four because you, you literally treat her like she's disposable. Like, you know, you're, you're above
00:59:57.060
her league. And if you treat her like she's disposable, she'll stay around.
01:00:02.740
No, I tested this. I tested this. There's a website called photo feeler and you have random
01:00:10.640
people rate you one to 10, right? I came back and ate on a good day. My ex was a four dude,
01:00:16.660
eight and a four. And she still thought I wasn't good enough for her. I'm just like, I don't know.
01:00:20.700
These women are just delusional and entitled. There's no hope.
01:00:22.840
Now, were you treating her like a four though? Like you're great, dude. I'm a freaking,
01:00:26.940
see, that's your problem. You got to treat her like a four as in, as in she, she needs to not
01:00:32.660
know what each day is going to be like. Like you, if she asks you what's on your mind, just say,
01:00:39.440
I got nothing. And if she asked you too many times to tell her to leave, you know what I'm saying?
01:00:44.300
I wasn't being a simp. Okay. I was being a great leader. I was like having fun dates. I wasn't
01:00:48.820
texting her all day, by the way. I was just two to three dates a week, light and fun. Then I don't talk
01:00:52.700
to her and she's wondering all the time. And we're going dancing in the stars and we're on
01:00:57.380
the beach and we're going to arcades. The next four you date, treat her like she's a four,
01:01:01.300
like, like you don't need her around because that whole mystery thing, like what's going to happen
01:01:06.640
each day. Now, the problem is having to, having to keep and maintain that for a long period of time,
01:01:13.020
especially if you're like a empathetic person and like a nice person, you're going to have to act
01:01:18.180
contrary to your nature. So some guys have a natural where they can treat a woman,
01:01:22.560
you know, like she's disposable all the time. But, you know, if you're actually a good person,
01:01:27.460
whatever that means, you have to learn how to act contrary to your nature, man.
01:01:32.740
I don't know if it's like treating her like a lot of guys get hung up on this point of like,
01:01:36.660
you have to treat her badly. You have to make her insecure. You have to make her think that you're
01:01:41.100
out of her league all the time. So you can still be a great guy and just make it feel like
01:01:46.120
you don't have her on this pedestal. Like you're, you like her and you enjoy spending time with her,
01:01:51.420
but you're kind of like still figuring out if she qualifies for you and you don't have to be an
01:01:55.500
asshole to do that. And it's a very, it's so hard to be a man. Oh my God.
01:02:02.880
Yeah. Well, but the, I was just thinking how like Doug, it doesn't, even if you do treat her like that,
01:02:09.100
it's like at some point, you know, women just leave. It's just kind of what we do.
01:02:13.340
So yeah, I guess I can, I will. That's part of it. If you can't be an asshole, just say nothing.
01:02:23.200
Honestly, because I hate treating people badly. So if I'm with a woman, I just say, if they say,
01:02:31.540
Oh, what's on your mind? What are you up to? Nothing. I got nothing, nothing, nothing.
01:02:35.600
You always say nothing. Cause I'm not doing this. Instead of treating her like garbage,
01:02:40.820
don't tell her any stories. Just say, I got nothing.
01:02:45.520
I really like being an amazing boyfriend. And then when she steps out of line, just strongly
01:02:50.100
asserting a boundary, like as a policy, I don't tolerate disrespect, crying, arguing. And if that's
01:02:54.860
a problem for you, you need to leave and not say, no, you don't even ask her, you know, you can leave.
01:03:01.040
No, you need to leave because my peace is more important than you ruining my life. Like you
01:03:06.000
need to leave so I can be alone. Cause I'd rather be alone than you disturbing my peace. And having
01:03:10.120
a strong boundary like that is like, it's almost feminist friendly because you're asserting a
01:03:14.780
boundary, but you're still being like red pill, strong alpha male. So she still gets the like
01:03:20.240
instinctual desire to fulfill a masculine purpose.
01:03:24.100
So what were you like before you, um, where you said you were just doing world of war craft and
01:03:30.760
I was a software engineer. Uh, so I, I worked for 10 years, uh, cooking software, retired,
01:03:36.720
bought a home, bought two of my dream cars. And now I just sing and dance all day.
01:03:41.360
Oh, so, so your friend, have you noticed any of your friends? Did they do anything similar or was
01:03:47.620
No, I tried. They're all simps. All my friends are simps walked on and I'm like, dude, you need to
01:03:54.220
set the boundaries. You can't let her talk to you like that. Thank God. One of my best friends
01:03:57.720
finally did dump this girl and like a two, she's like obese walking over this guy. He's a great
01:04:02.480
singer and shape and everything. And he finally, because she like insulted her, his mom, you know,
01:04:07.960
I'm like, brother, you can't let your girlfriend, your ugly girlfriend, that's all your mom. What are
01:04:11.040
you doing after the respect for yourself? So it's, it's coming around, but yeah, most dudes are just
01:04:15.720
completely blue pill, just simping out. It's a tragedy. What's your age group?
01:04:24.440
Oh man. And they haven't learned by now? Uh-oh.
01:04:33.720
Okay. That's a good one. What about the other one?
01:04:43.640
Thanks for calling in. Call in any time, all right?
01:04:47.520
You can put a show panelist on your list of things, you know?
01:04:59.180
We're literally on a streak, Pearlie, of good callers. What a good call. Wow.
01:05:04.280
Yeah. All right. Let's see. I think this guy called in yesterday.
01:05:07.200
James, uh, thanks for calling in. So we're asking the question, do people change over
01:05:16.820
time? What has been your experience? This can either be yourself or people that you've
01:05:36.800
So, okay. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't playing through the computer twice. Like, you
01:05:41.280
know, running back. Yeah. Um, you know, I, I thought for a long minute on this one, I
01:05:48.680
was like, damn, I know a lot of people that like, just like work and stuff. There's probably
01:05:53.460
one person and that's it. Probably one person I could think of. And I was in college and
01:05:58.860
I met this kid and this kid would get drunk, like blackout drunk, like all the time, like,
01:06:04.740
like obliterated. Right. And I remember just saying one day, like, dude, you know, if you
01:06:09.500
didn't get drunk, you'd probably actually do something with your life. And like, he continued
01:06:13.680
to get drunk for like a year to two years, but then I know where one day he stops drinking
01:06:19.700
and then I'm like, okay. So like six years go by, you've got like 30, 40 Airbnbs living
01:06:25.680
in Miami dudes rich now. And I'm like, I think he stopped drinking. And he told me he was sober.
01:06:30.940
I contacted him like maybe four months ago. Cause I saw him on Tik TOK. And I was like, he's
01:06:36.380
like, yeah, I stopped drinking like three years ago completely. And I was like, damn, bro.
01:06:40.740
But that's the only time I've ever seen someone change. Never other than that. I think that's
01:06:46.660
nice. Do you think that's almost like, um, how do I put it? He probably still has the
01:06:52.240
addictive personality type, but he just stopped like doing something. Would you agree with
01:06:57.900
that? Or do you think he like his personality changed? I think what it is is that, cause I
01:07:03.320
see this a lot with people. Cause it's like, I'll coach some people just on like business and
01:07:07.440
consulting. And some people it's like, you could be addicted to something like me personally. I used
01:07:12.760
to be addicted to working out. Like I had to work out like three, four, five hours a day. Right.
01:07:18.940
But then when it never became a part of me playing like pro hockey anymore, I was like, well, I don't
01:07:24.260
have to do this. So now I smoke like six hours a day instead of going to the gym. So people usually
01:07:29.760
just replace it with something else. If they're addicted to something, I think he just replaced it
01:07:33.820
with making money. Like, and then he was like, ah, I'm just not going to go back to drink it.
01:07:38.340
So I don't think people, especially if they have addictive tendencies, they're going to keep those
01:07:42.860
throughout life. So like, and the thing you said about adaptability earlier, those are the happiest
01:07:47.800
people, but by, by far. Could you tell me more about what you mean by that?
01:07:57.040
Uh, which the adaptability? Yeah. Adaptive. Sorry. I'm trying to remember what I said.
01:08:01.280
I'll talk for an hour and forget what I said. So God. Oh yeah. No, it's not a problem. So my father
01:08:08.860
is very adaptable. Like I see it all the time because he preaches it. Like he owns like three,
01:08:13.980
four businesses. He's had them for 20 years, never had to worry about money or anything,
01:08:18.620
even with his new wife. Right. So he's just always been able to shift and pivot even when things are
01:08:25.700
bad. Like I remember one time he's like, yeah, I lost one of the restaurants, the corporate,
01:08:29.300
they want to take it away. So we're sitting there for like a month figuring this out and he's not
01:08:33.540
freaking out. He's like, Oh, I already got something else figured out. I'm like, what are you going to
01:08:36.540
do? I'm like, he's like, Oh, I'm going to sell two of the cars I have and just be okay with that
01:08:41.400
for the rest of the year. And I was like, all right, we'll come back to him like two months later
01:08:44.820
and they tell him, Oh, we're not going to take the store. And I'm like, and I think it's just the
01:08:49.620
mindset of being always ready for anything. And then just, you know, going with it sometimes.
01:08:55.620
I think that's what is he not gives it people that cheat. Is he not emotional? Cause I see that
01:09:01.740
with my dad where my dad, every time I'm more of an emotional person. So if something's going bad,
01:09:07.700
I get very frustrated. And, um, but my dad, he's very calm. And so whenever, you know, like we almost
01:09:14.880
lost our house at one point, cause he made like a bad real estate investment and through it all,
01:09:19.480
he was very, he was kind of the same thing where we were going to lose like a lot, but he was so
01:09:24.580
calm because he's always, he always would tell me to just focus on the solution. Like you cannot
01:09:29.720
think about the problem. It doesn't get you anywhere. Just think of a solution. Think of a
01:09:33.860
solution. And I'd say he's just a calm, he bounced. Oh, he left. He dropped. I think he dropped,
01:09:41.600
but I was going to ask him. I was going to ask him. I think that's like people that aren't as
01:09:46.520
emotional. Do better with that. Oh, go ahead, James. Oh no. He's still there now. I see he's
01:09:50.740
back. Oh yeah. I think it cut me out for a minute. My computer like shut down real quick
01:09:55.360
and came back on. Yeah. That's okay. Did you hear what I said or no? Oh yeah. I heard the
01:10:02.040
emotional part versus non-emotional. I agree with that too. Cause I'm, I can be very emotional
01:10:07.000
in things, but I've learned how to like completely channel that at this point. But yeah, he's like
01:10:12.840
not emotional at all. Like it almost creeps me out. Like how non-emotional like, like as a, like
01:10:18.580
I looked at him as a father figure when I was a kid being like, this dude is like not emotional at
01:10:23.500
all. Like it's kind of funny. Right. And I'd be like, it's quite a good thing. Right. But for certain
01:10:30.220
things, it's kind of like, they, they don't have any empathy towards certain things. And then it's
01:10:35.100
like, yo, you see how that adaptability works like that? Because you kind of have to be,
01:10:39.580
you can't be too attached to anything or certain outcome. And I've kind of had to learn that. And
01:10:45.520
I've learned a lot. It helps so much because then you're like, Oh, no matter what happens,
01:10:50.160
you'll be successful at something. Like, I remember I lost my job. I was making really good
01:10:54.360
money like four years ago. I lost it going into COVID and I was freaking out. I was like, Oh my God,
01:11:00.320
I don't, you know, and I had a good amount of money in the bank and I was like, yeah, I was freaking
01:11:05.180
out. Now I don't even have half of that money now. And I'm starting a new business. I don't even have
01:11:09.960
a quarter of that money now. And I'm starting a new business venture and I'm not even worried in
01:11:13.620
the slightest. So I think the adaptability thing, it, it helps, but you lose a lot of like emotional
01:11:20.620
context for things sometimes because you're not paying attention to it. Yeah. Yeah. I agree.
01:11:28.120
Do you have any other thoughts on the topic that you wanted to say before we go to the next caller?
01:11:32.080
Well, um, the first guy was saying something about simps and like, yeah, I see it so much
01:11:39.580
with, with this generation of men. And I think it's because like, they've been force fed these
01:11:44.320
narratives that, you know, the feminist movement has like portrayed onto men over the last, I'd say
01:11:49.880
hardcore last like 10 years. And I think that's the problem because they're like, Oh, you have to be
01:11:54.500
accepting of this. You have to be accepting of that. Well, what if we don't want to be accepting of it
01:11:59.540
because we don't like it because we don't need it in our lives? And I think that's a perspective that
01:12:04.420
people haven't really taken. I'm not saying be militant about it, but I'm saying if you don't like
01:12:08.500
it and you don't accept it, don't put yourself around it. Just like I see some of these guys dating
01:12:13.180
some of these girls now, and they're just problematic. They're so problematic. And I'm like,
01:12:17.920
dude, why are you wasting your time? You can literally be out here at the club with me hitting up
01:12:22.500
eight signs and tens if you wanted, but you're sitting there dealing with your like four of a
01:12:26.960
girlfriend. It's like an ogre that just so she's all day. Like it makes no sense.
01:12:31.520
I'm going to say this guys are starting to do that, but unlike women, when they make an action,
01:12:39.140
they don't make a big scene out of it or anything. Guys will just disengage. You're seeing more and
01:12:44.060
more guys disengage. That's why this stupid male loneliness epidemic. When a woman chooses to be
01:12:51.020
single is celebrated, but a man chooses to be single and he's single and lonely. See men, we
01:12:56.860
vote with our feet and our dollars. So more and more men are just disengaging. You won't even see
01:13:03.220
him do it. You won't even see him do it. All of a sudden, they're just gone.
01:13:09.040
But I think what men need to do is I think they need to lean the opposite direction. Like I lean the
01:13:15.160
opposite direction. Like, yeah, I understand where a lot of women are sitting nowadays, but I'll say
01:13:20.800
this. There's a lot of women out there that are good women that are great women that like men aren't
01:13:26.800
even talking to. Like the spaces that I go into, into public, like I have no trouble talking to these
01:13:32.660
women and connecting with them, finding great women just in the public. I remember I got on the subway
01:13:37.220
in Seattle, which is a very democratic liberal. It's shithole of a town. But I met a writer for
01:13:45.380
I forgot. I got her business cards back here somewhere, but she's a writer for some big
01:13:49.140
newspaper. And I was talking to her for like the whole train ride. Come find out she's single.
01:13:53.860
And she's like a really sweet girl. And she came up in a really good family. And we're just talking
01:13:58.160
and she's like, yeah, I just choose not to date. Not because men are she's like, I'm not even focused
01:14:03.060
on my career like that. It's just, I haven't found somebody that really makes me feel the
01:14:07.780
way I should feel. And I can understand that because a lot of men don't know how to make
01:14:11.800
women feel the way they should to open up and be submissive. Because a lot of ideology today is,
01:14:17.620
you know, be a boss, be closed off. A lot of these women do want to be submissive, even if they do make
01:14:22.500
more money. A man supposed to make a woman feel a certain way, dude? Are you serious?
01:14:28.620
I'm well, I'm not saying you have to sit there and make her feel a certain way. But I
01:14:32.900
think about it as it's the way you frame yourself in the way you come off the way that I come off.
01:14:37.940
I don't try. Like I could, I can walk in most places and women notice me because of the way I
01:14:44.280
carry myself. I don't go out of my way to do it. It's just, they see it and they're like, okay,
01:14:49.760
he's interesting. I want to talk to this guy. But I don't position myself to where it's hood rat
01:14:55.620
girls coming up to me or stupid girls or girls that I don't want attracted to me. It's usually women
01:15:01.720
like, okay, this woman's intelligent. Like I can tell that she knows how to carry herself.
01:15:06.500
Yeah. Doug, I think it's just the only solution you really have. I mean, it's not that you should
01:15:11.640
have to do it, but like, what do it, it was making women feel a certain way. Like women are only
01:15:19.080
loyal to our feelings. Women aren't going to have integrity, right? Like that's all you got.
01:15:27.540
I think what it is now is, is, is because women try to say that men are intimidated by them, right?
01:15:35.520
Men are not intimidated by anything that can't eat us alive or kick our ass, right? But we are
01:15:41.580
concerned about the circumstances that come along with the woman. What is she going to bring into your
01:15:47.620
life? What kind of chaos? Because we have this thing where women are like, oh, women give up so
01:15:52.340
much to be in a relationship. And that's not true. A man has to sacrifice his mating strategy,
01:15:57.340
his time, resources, everything. And a lot of guys, they just don't want to do it. Men used to get
01:16:03.080
something for doing that, but they don't get, all they get now is entitlement, bad attitude,
01:16:09.840
unrealistic expectations. That's what comes along with being, with being with a woman now.
01:16:15.380
No, no, no, I don't blame guys for, for being single.
01:16:20.180
Yeah. I don't, I, I, I agree. It's just at times, I mean, I mean, you know, there's whole
01:16:26.340
like PUA communities to teaching this stuff, you know, it's cause to some extent it works.
01:16:32.580
Yeah. I'll say it works. It depends what you're learning. If you're learning psychology, like
01:16:40.000
actual human psychology and putting that into practice. Yes, that works. We're learning like
01:16:44.800
pickup lines and bullshit. That's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, no, it's like, I just, I just meant
01:16:50.960
there's whole like literature on making women feel a certain way in order to get cooperation.
01:16:55.720
Unfortunately, or in 2025, that's all you got. Have fun with that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't go out
01:17:03.840
of my way. I don't taste them. I just attract who I attract and I don't settle for less. If
01:17:09.580
you, if I see a red flag, if I see one red flag within five seconds of seeing it is gone,
01:17:14.220
it's done up. I'm not even talking. I'm keeping it pushing. Don't get it wrong. Like I'm not
01:17:18.380
out here being game to 80 million chicks. It's like, nah, I've seen the way you move before
01:17:23.700
based on the psychological things I've learned, what I know. So nah, we've been playing. Cool.
01:17:29.500
Good man. So yeah, I'm not going to sit here and preach. All of them need all of me, but
01:17:34.260
the ones that, the ones that are worth your time, they will find you. If you're working
01:17:38.920
hard, isn't it? They will find you. You just, you just got to put yourself in the right environment.
01:17:43.300
That's all I preach. Cool. Cool. Thanks for calling in James. I appreciate it.
01:17:48.340
Yeah. Call in your time, man. Good call. Great caller.
01:17:50.980
We've had such a run. This is a generational run of callers figuring out their zoom and not
01:18:01.160
wasting my time ranting about a random thing. No offense guys. I do love you, but some of you come
01:18:06.380
on here and just say something that we were not talking about. Or at times we've had people say,
01:18:13.240
oh, I love you pro. I'm such a fan. What's the topic? It's like, it just derails the show.
01:18:19.460
So, but this has been great. This has been, this is what we're looking for.
01:18:23.480
Okay. So next we're going to bring on, here's Johnny.
01:18:28.280
And this is what we're looking for. All right. Turn off the zoom.
01:18:39.420
This is what we're looking for. Can I turn off?
01:18:47.280
YouTube's still on, buddy. Got to turn the YouTube off.
01:18:50.800
I'll turn the YouTube off. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. I think I turned YouTube off.
01:18:56.960
All right. There you go. All right, Johnny. So the question of the day is, do you think people
01:19:03.940
change over time? Have you observed this in either your life or friends, or do you think
01:19:10.660
Absolutely. Women change. They have a similar pattern. A few baby mamas and women, girlfriends,
01:19:27.340
et cetera. But men, like men will change when they get into a military or religion, but usually
01:19:38.660
men, they don't change as much as women change, I guess, for their feelings.
01:19:48.480
Okay. So I want to say my interpretation, and then I want to see if this matches with what
01:19:53.600
you've seen. I think that from a young age, women kind of are who we are at like 15, 16-ish
01:20:01.360
in terms of core personality traits. So I've known women that were really lazy, or maybe they
01:20:07.900
were really sweet, really easy to get along, whatever it is. But there are times where women
01:20:14.560
put on a mask for like one, I really think women can hold out for like two years, a few years,
01:20:21.580
but they will always revert back to who they were when they were younger. Like a lot of women that I
01:20:28.780
know that did crazy things, like in a divorce or in something, it wouldn't shock me because I knew
01:20:34.720
who she was when she was younger. Sure. So I'm curious, is that what you've seen or have you seen
01:20:41.420
something different when it comes to changing female behavior? Go ahead. No, no, that's correct
01:20:46.900
also, but also the tier of the man. So I've been able to hold that attention span for like 10 years.
01:20:56.200
Okay. You know, a few times. So, you know, but yeah, and then in between girlfriends here and there,
01:21:06.560
breaking into your house and getting naked and stuff like that, and just, you know, throwing
01:21:11.600
ourselves into your lives. So. Okay. What traits do you think cannot change when it comes to men and
01:21:20.540
women? Things that you can't change women? I just, I just, there's just that, like say, you know,
01:21:29.080
a lot of people like to bring history and biology and our past ancestors and stuff. I think naturally,
01:21:35.900
you know, the women or men died early. So they had to find a new mate. So a lot, a lot of it's like
01:21:43.500
cultural, uh, sins, lust, you know, society, you know, we're, we're in a cesspool right now.
01:21:52.600
So. Okay. Yeah. And, and we, and what was the question about men? I just asked what traits do
01:22:00.580
you think cannot change over time or don't generally change? Oh yeah. And for men, uh,
01:22:06.500
yeah, on the men's side, I don't know. I don't, I haven't, I'm many friends lately and I don't show
01:22:15.320
my face yet. Cause that's all right. You don't have to, right on. That's all right. Thanks for
01:22:20.520
calling in. Absolutely. All right. For the question, try and guess how many times a man
01:22:26.840
will change his, um, his sports team and his favorite sport in his life. Try and guess how
01:22:32.860
many times kind of stick to it once. Yeah. I was going to guess none, but cause I think my dad's
01:22:44.260
always at the same sports team. I don't really watch sports. If I had to gun to my head, I think
01:22:50.280
I'd pick the Milwaukee box for my favorite sports team, but I couldn't, I couldn't tell you anything
01:22:56.820
about that team. So obviously it doesn't mean much to me. It's just cause I got to go see the
01:23:03.080
fight. You know, it was funny when I was in Milwaukee. Um, Oh my gosh. I, because it was
01:23:09.400
through like an influencer thing. I got to go to the game seven of the Milwaukee bucks winning the
01:23:15.360
series. And all year, the guys at the work would be talking about sports and I'd be like, this is so
01:23:20.720
boring. Can we talk about something else? Like, obviously, and, or I would just like, I just wouldn't
01:23:26.000
care. And then I was the one that ended up with three tickets to game seven because it was like
01:23:33.980
through a brand or something. And then I literally saw them like win, you know, the whole thing and
01:23:39.720
like you stormed the court and stuff and it was pretty good seats, but Oh, you know what it was?
01:23:44.400
I think I interviewed the president of the Milwaukee box. So, you know, a gun to my head, that's what I
01:23:49.880
picked, but I still know nothing about the team. All right. So Chad, Oh, I think Chad Chaddington.
01:23:57.440
I think I remember him. He's called him before.
01:24:08.980
Chad, how's it going? Hey, what's up? Can y'all hear me? I can hear you. You're the guy that
01:24:16.640
hold on. There you go. Okay. I muted it. You're good. You're the, you're the guy you had all the,
01:24:25.360
you can't, you came in and gave me your stats one day, didn't you? Yeah. I remember you.
01:24:32.120
Chad's a Chad. Okay. So what are your thoughts on the topic? Do you think people change over time
01:24:38.040
or do they mostly stay the same? I would say on the whole, mostly stay the same. I have actually
01:24:46.900
put together a list for you since I know you want to get to the point and blah, blah, blah,
01:24:50.800
but I got like seven different. I got seven different psychological reasons that people
01:24:58.560
legitimately change in their life. Okay. Uh, and this is from psychology studies. Okay. Uh,
01:25:07.080
so number one, uh, and I actually have a couple with experiences. Um, the number one is a traumatic
01:25:14.060
brain injury. Oh yeah. Okay. And one of my buddies for 23 years now, uh, super partier, lots of drugs,
01:25:25.660
lots of alcohol, real like textbook alcoholic had to drink every day. Um, when he got into the accident,
01:25:34.040
which I was there for, um, 21 days in the hospital in a coma, uh, he had to go through detox while in
01:25:43.800
the coma. Um, and when he came out of it about three to four months later, when he finally started
01:25:53.280
getting back to normal, he's probably about 90% back to, uh, and this is six, seven years ago.
01:26:02.700
So he's about 90 to 90 and not quite 95, 90% back to normal to where he was pre traumatic brain injury,
01:26:10.360
except he has no, like he lightly drinks now. He's not an alcoholic. He doesn't need to drink every day.
01:26:18.720
His temperament totally changed, uh, was a very alpha male fight. Everyone, blah, blah, blah. I had
01:26:25.660
to calm him down from so many fights constantly. Um, very laid back now doesn't even want to step on
01:26:32.640
an ant rather go around an ant pile. But the biggest thing was the drugs. Uh, he, he was probably
01:26:39.740
couple few years away from dying from, you know, not just pot. We're talking like Coke and every once
01:26:45.740
in a while, crack and stuff like that. And 25 years seeing this, I never thought something would
01:26:51.420
change him, but yeah, traumatic brain injury. Number one thing that would actually physically
01:26:56.340
legitimately change someone. Uh, number two, I've studied, uh, over 250 near death experiences.
01:27:06.240
And I will tell you that no one comes back from a near death experience, not changed.
01:27:12.220
Every single person has come back changed from a near death experience that I've, uh, researched.
01:27:20.060
Um, how did they change? Like in what way? Is it life decisions? Is it their, their core? You know,
01:27:27.140
like if I went through a near death experience, would I be quiet? Would I be a quiet person tomorrow?
01:27:32.320
Do you know what I mean? Like in what way do they tend to change?
01:27:34.960
So I'm glad you asked that though. The number one thing I tell people about near death experiences,
01:27:40.720
again, I've read over 250 cases and I've listened to over 500 in the past 20 years. Um, and the
01:27:49.580
remarkable thing about near death experiences is the funniest thing I find about it that I researched
01:27:55.960
is that 90% of atheists that have near death experiences will come back somehow spiritual or
01:28:05.100
religious. Okay. And 90% of super religious people will come back and leave their religion
01:28:15.800
and seek a more spiritual path. Yes. It is great. It is, uh, it is so weird.
01:28:25.880
How many atheist stories I've read that have come back and became spiritual and how many physical
01:28:32.500
nuns, priests, deacons, men and women of church, they actually come back and they're like, man,
01:28:39.880
I was so wrong. Jesus is there, but he doesn't want me to be this devout Bible thumping, get
01:28:46.680
everyone on board, blah, blah, blah. He wants me to live a peaceful life and, and show people
01:28:52.040
that you can live a peaceful life and love everyone and blah, blah, blah, blah, without
01:28:55.640
having to go to church every week without having to do this. It's crazy how, uh, again, I put it as
01:29:03.520
number two, because no one comes back from a near death experience and doesn't have a life altering
01:29:10.240
change. So, okay. Cause what you're saying, I wouldn't say as a personality change, right? Like I don't think I
01:29:17.960
would not be a different person if I just, you know, either one started going to church on Sunday
01:29:24.080
or stop. So I'm just, I'm just wondering, was there anything deeper that you felt like in terms
01:29:29.620
of their like core traits of who they are? Yes. Uh, getting kind of going back to the traumatic brain
01:29:38.640
injury, uh, with my buddy and everything, the majority of people that come back from near death
01:29:45.840
experiences do experience a physical, emotional, mental change in their lives as different people,
01:29:54.220
like literally coming back. If you're, if you're an asshole and you die and you see all this stuff
01:29:59.580
and you come back, you're a little bit lighter. No one comes back. No one comes back more of an
01:30:04.900
asshole. It's usually they come back. Oh, I was a, I was a 10 asshole. Now I'm like a two to three.
01:30:11.820
Okay. Okay. And that's, that's, that's men and women. Oh, that's the funny thing. The last two
01:30:17.820
are, are more men and women directly too. So just letting you know. Okay, cool. What's that? So
01:30:23.800
number three, a horrific death of a loved one. P I've seen several people in my life change from
01:30:35.700
the hard partier, the, or, or not just the hard partier. I've seen the super, uh, work is everything.
01:30:45.800
I work 80 hours a week and that's all I do. I don't care about my family. I provide for them.
01:30:50.620
They're good enough, blah, blah, blah. Well, once a horrific, like, let's say, and I'm, when I say
01:30:56.380
death of a loved one, I'm talking about someone they consider they love the most, a mother, a father,
01:31:01.840
a child, uh, the best friend they've known for 40 years, stuff like that, a real, real close someone
01:31:08.480
they truly love. And then they go through, uh, that horrific death and it kind of wakes them up
01:31:14.680
to change themselves type of thing. Okay. And I've seen several people do that throughout my life.
01:31:23.160
Nothing notable. I can give you like off the top of my head, except, uh, one of my friends back about
01:31:31.820
15 years ago lost their child and they were a, uh, 60 hour a week dad, um, you know, missed a lot of
01:31:42.320
stuff in school for their kids and everything. Well, when they lost their oldest child, all of a sudden
01:31:49.120
now they're super dad, you know, they're, they're like now 40 hours a week or less and everything's
01:31:57.360
about their children. And you can literally physically see the change from a more, a less
01:32:04.080
compassionate person to a more compassionate person. And these are legitimate changes, not just
01:32:09.060
temporary. So. Okay. What's next? These are great. Number four, uh, age.
01:32:19.120
Um, age I've seen from, I mean, I'm 50 years old, so I have, you know, and I've had a lot of older
01:32:28.440
friends. I've lost a lot of people because I've actually had a lot of older friends. My buddy with
01:32:33.020
the traumatic brain experiences is 12 years older than me. I've lost several people in their seventies
01:32:38.500
back 10, 20 years ago. And what I've found is, is that age, if I know someone in their twenties and
01:32:46.160
thirties, they are different people in their fifties and sixties. Now, percentage wise, for me, I've
01:32:56.620
only experienced maybe about 25, a quarter of the people I've known to watch over 30 years change to
01:33:03.120
become better or worse. Unfortunately, I have seen a couple of worse and a couple of the worse have been
01:33:09.260
in my family. They were better people earlier and they just became curmudgeons as they grew older.
01:33:14.740
But, uh, age would be number four where significant life changing. You can actually physically see.
01:33:21.820
So what, what traits change? Because I have a hard time and maybe I'll change this opinion as I get
01:33:28.020
older, but I just have a hard time believing that people's like core personality traits change.
01:33:34.140
Like if somebody, if there's something significant that sort of makes someone who they are,
01:33:38.840
I haven't really seen much change. Like if someone's bitchy, maybe they're less bitchy,
01:33:43.980
but they're still kind of bitchy. You know what I mean?
01:33:49.280
No, no, no, no, no. I was just curious what traits changed with the people over time.
01:33:55.180
Well, number one, again, I have 20 years, 20 plus years on you.
01:33:59.520
So I have experienced people over a 20 to 30 year period of their life, seeing how they were when
01:34:06.460
they were a little bit younger and then growing up a little bit more. But also what we're talking
01:34:11.340
about is significant change, real change, real trait change in their life. Yeah. We're only talking
01:34:16.960
like maybe, maybe at best 20% of the people I've known. Yeah. Yeah. 20, 20. Yeah. So 80% of the
01:34:25.220
people will be the same person they are from teen, just like you said, from teenager, and this is men
01:34:30.600
and women from teenager till death, till the grave. The ones I'm talking, the seven I'm talking about
01:34:36.940
right now are the 20%, you know, from the psychological studies I've seen and some personal
01:34:42.620
experiences from these psychological studies. Sure. So when it comes to age, you know, I'm,
01:34:47.540
I'm deferring to you, you know, more than me. So I, I'm just wondering what traits in the people
01:34:53.360
that changed because of age, is it similar to the other ones you've listed?
01:34:59.260
Uh, age usually you, the traits I typically see with the age change over 20 to 30 years with people
01:35:08.760
are they become, except for the majority of them become more legitimately compassionate,
01:35:18.820
understanding, caring, and tolerant. Okay. But they can go the other way too. I've seen the other
01:35:25.460
way where 30 years ago, they were a good person and they've just become a total bitch or an asshole
01:35:30.500
just because. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's now the good thing is I've only experienced the, the negative
01:35:38.040
side, uh, you know, 20% and I experienced the good change in people over 30, 20, 30 years, 80% of the
01:35:47.200
time. So I would say that when most people, the older, most people get typically the change that I
01:35:55.760
would say the most of is becoming tolerant, compassionate, caring a little more than they
01:36:02.920
were in their twenties and thirties type of thing. Cool. What's next? Uh, number five, number five.
01:36:11.900
Now this, this is a personal one to me. Um, number five is exposure to many different cultures.
01:36:21.200
Okay. And what I, what I mean is, is, uh, being, being in central Florida around Disney and universal,
01:36:27.700
you have the world population coming into you. Um, and you want to talk about a melting pot.
01:36:34.660
Central Florida is actually a melting pot and it has been for the past 30 to 40 years because so many
01:36:40.500
people move to that area for the hospitality industry from all over the world. I've met people.
01:36:46.840
I have friends from about, uh, let's say 80% of the countries that are friendly with the United States.
01:36:54.960
I have friends from those countries and I've learned from them directly their cultures from
01:37:01.080
them and not just reading it in a textbook. So I had, whereas most Americans who haven't been exposed
01:37:08.580
to a large cultural diversity, worldwide cultural diversity tend to stay in a very narrow tunnel their
01:37:16.560
entire lives. Whereas someone who has many friends and I know you, you lived abroad, right? You lived in
01:37:22.780
Britain. Yeah. England. Oh, I got tons of friends from England and, Oh, some of my best friends are
01:37:29.200
from England, uh, and Europe. Uh, but I know people from Africa and Asia and everything. The one thing
01:37:35.540
about cultural differences is especially for an open-minded person like myself, also a social
01:37:40.460
butterfly. I love you. I'll talk to a rock. If you give me a chance, uh, learning cultures directly
01:37:48.620
from the people from around the world, especially when it negates the negative thoughts you had about
01:37:56.080
different cultures, when growing up in whatever town you grew up in or whatever little town you grew
01:38:02.380
up in and you only knew people from that town or that state, it really does open your eyes to a world.
01:38:08.980
Having those friends tell you legitimate things that they do in their country. You see, Oh my God,
01:38:15.840
this guy's from this country that's supposed to be unfriendly. And he's one of the nicest people you
01:38:20.740
ever want to meet. So it really does open your mind and change you to, in fact, I would say it.
01:38:28.020
I was an open-minded person before I was in central Florida, 30, 35 years ago, but being in central
01:38:34.860
Florida exposed to all those people around Disney universal and the hospitality industry and everyone
01:38:40.340
moving in there and all the friends I've made from around the world, it opened my mind even more,
01:38:46.500
I would say. So that, that was my chain. Number six, personal number six. Okay. Now this one is
01:38:54.320
mostly female, but it does affect many men as well. Number six, your first child,
01:39:02.380
your first child will change you. And especially I've seen this, I've dated too many women. So I've
01:39:11.240
seen this. I've dated women before their children and I know them to this day. And let me tell you,
01:39:19.000
they are not the same people and they're not pretending that I literally watched them change
01:39:24.560
overnight after they had their first child for the better. And personality traits, mental, emotional,
01:39:32.380
can you give me, can you give me an example of one? Just, just, uh, okay. So, uh, woman I dated
01:39:41.240
actually dated her for three years. She didn't want children. Oh my gosh. She wanted to be with me
01:39:47.100
because I was sniffed at 30. So there was no chance of a child. And we got together when this is years
01:39:53.180
ago. She was mid twenties. I was upper thirties and, uh, we dated for three years, did not want a child.
01:40:01.000
Love that. I got sniffed, blah, blah, blah. Uh, it was, uh, was a good person, but a habitual liar.
01:40:09.760
Um, didn't have her shit together. Didn't know what she wanted in her life. Uh, typical teenager,
01:40:16.200
but in a 26, seven year old body. Um, I know her today. I know her and her husband today. They had
01:40:24.100
a child about six or seven years ago. So I guess the child's about six or seven and oh my God, she is
01:40:32.280
a, she is completely a different person or personality. And I've known her long enough and
01:40:39.760
was intimate with her long enough to, to see that these are actual physical, emotional, and mental
01:40:45.880
changes that she did for this child and her, her new husband. She wanted to become this person.
01:40:54.660
I, I seen it before. It was just, she had problems, emotional and mental problems, which most young
01:41:01.300
people do have, especially young women who have father issues. And there's a lot of those out there.
01:41:06.360
Um, but yeah, her, her, her mentality, emotional, uh, emotional, mental state, um, her responsibilities,
01:41:16.320
uh, everything fell in line. She got her shit together. She grew up, she became a really good
01:41:23.480
mother, good wife, and a better woman. I can't say that she doesn't lie as much, but I can definitely
01:41:31.980
say that, you know, her husband wouldn't put up with that shit. So she probably has realized,
01:41:38.080
especially after she, we, we, after we broke up, I mean, it pretty much devastated her because
01:41:45.660
we were, we were, we were, we could have been together, but, uh, I knew she needed a child and
01:41:54.960
that child changed her life. I saw it change her life physically, emotionally, mentally.
01:42:01.280
She is a better person because of it. I'm not saying she's not a little bit like her old ways,
01:42:08.640
but I could definitely see the positive changes in her life.
01:42:13.580
Number seven. Now this one, this one is typically, and this is from reading a lot of psychology books,
01:42:19.920
mostly men fall under this, but I'm not going to negate women from doing it. I'm just saying mostly
01:42:25.340
men change from sheer willpower alone. That's the last one. Sheer willpower alone. Uh, I've only
01:42:36.160
met maybe one or two people in my life and I don't know them, you know, now, but just, I knew them
01:42:44.340
when I was younger and one guy I could, I could think of, he, he was alcoholic. He lost his wife and
01:42:55.460
kid because of it. He lost his job. He lost everything. And, you know, I, he got into the AA program.
01:43:04.200
He wanted to change his life. He, within five years, he got good, stable work, apartment. He got
01:43:12.420
rights to his kids back. And even though his, his ex-wife and him didn't get back together,
01:43:18.500
the way he changed helped them at least have a good relationship for the co-parenting of their
01:43:25.040
child. And that sheer willpower, no one made him do it. It was just, he decided, no, this is,
01:43:32.820
this is enough. I'm not going to ruin my life anymore. I have a kid. I lost everything because
01:43:36.800
of it. He went to AA by himself. He did all this stuff. I mean, we supported him friend network
01:43:42.840
supported him and everything, but he's one of the ones that sticks out in my mind. And there's very
01:43:48.020
few sheer willpower alone is very few. Normally it's, you have to, to have a real life changing
01:43:55.340
experience, someone to really change their life. It has to be something traumatic in your, in your life.
01:44:01.400
I think one of your callers said it earlier. Um, you just get so tired of the pain and suffering
01:44:08.060
and something just snaps or happens to you. And you're like, no, this is it. I got to change this
01:44:13.480
about myself, but the sheer willpower alone, very few women I've, I've read about doing it. It's
01:44:20.440
mostly men, but again, all this list of real change in real people's lives is only talking about
01:44:27.620
maybe 20%. Unfortunately, 80% will be the same all throughout their life. So yeah. Cool. Well,
01:44:36.100
thanks so much for calling in Chad. That was a great list. Appreciate you. No problem. Great
01:44:41.360
talking to y'all. Y'all have a blessed night, Doug and Pearl. All right. See ya. All right. Uh,
01:44:47.560
we'll do one more color to the marvelous option. Marvelous option. Welcome to the show. Um, so
01:45:02.420
what do you think? Do you think people mostly change or mostly stay the same when it comes
01:45:06.620
to their personality traits? This can either be you or people that you've observed. What
01:45:10.860
do you think? Are you there? Marvelous opinion. Are you there? We can see you. All right. You got,
01:45:24.980
you got five seconds to figure it out. Five. Oh, there. Now I hear you. We can hear you. Now I hear
01:45:30.840
you. Can you hear me? Marvelous opinion. Uh, I'm sorry. I just, uh, I don't have time for this. Okay. I
01:45:42.780
guess Sean. Hey, Sean, Sean. All right. All right. So hear me. I can hear you. All right. Go. Okay. So
01:45:58.460
what do you think? You think people mostly stay the same or do they change over time? Um, from
01:46:06.040
I, I'm making the case that most people's core personality pretty much stays the same, but
01:46:11.680
I'm open to be improving otherwise. So what's your life experience? My life experience is most
01:46:17.980
people stay the same. Um, I can give a story about how I change, but again, that's just personalized
01:46:24.900
than me. So I'll give that afterwards. But most people don't change. They remain the same, same
01:46:30.360
neighborhood, same community, live and breathe, die there. Most Americans don't have a passport.
01:46:36.020
So they don't even get to explore. Most people just stay where they're from, stay with their family
01:46:41.340
and friends and that's it. I'm still there. Oh yeah. Sorry. I thought, I thought you were going to
01:46:52.560
keep going. You said you had a personal story. So go ahead. I was waiting for you. So yeah,
01:47:01.580
yeah, I'll give you this. I used to be a Democrat fish fried nugget, pro-black pan-Africanist anti-capitalist
01:47:12.620
humanist individual in many different, I guess you could say walks in my life, many different
01:47:19.540
chapters, uh, Marine killer, all this stuff. So I would say like over time I've just changed,
01:47:27.160
but I have made an aggressive effort to change if that makes sense constantly. And so I think
01:47:34.480
most people just don't do that. And so just in my own situation, I have changed a lot so much. So
01:47:40.800
my friends and families would be like, you're not the same though. You different man. And when we was
01:47:46.380
kids, you was like X, Y, and Z. Do you think your personality changed or it was just your beliefs?
01:47:52.960
Cause I do want to separate those because like, you know, if I was ever, I had a conservative dad,
01:47:59.720
but if I didn't, I might've been a liberal, but I probably, I've probably been no. Cause my personality
01:48:05.760
type, it actually says I was supposed to be a liberal. Uh, but, but you know, I probably still
01:48:11.600
would have been the one with the side going back and forth with people, you know, in a good faith.
01:48:18.640
But like, I would say the personality would have been the same, but it's just, the belief was
01:48:22.920
different. Is it the same for you or would you say your personality?
01:48:26.520
No, my personality has changed because what they were saying, like, basically I had people write
01:48:31.140
buddy statements about me. Like they could see a change for me when I, you know, was a kid until
01:48:36.640
when I joined the military, they're like, Oh, it used to be like this and basically, you
01:48:41.280
know, extrovert. Now I'm more of an introvert. So my personality changed over the years due
01:48:46.520
to my beliefs also. So it was just like a two way street for me, but yes, it's changed
01:48:51.660
for me. But I always say like, mine's is a special case. Cause I actually actively looked
01:48:56.460
to change myself and revamped and evolve myself. So yes, my personality does change.
01:49:02.240
All right, cool. Doug, MPA, you got any questions for him?
01:49:09.520
That's weird. You were from being an extrovert to an introvert. What was the biggest person?
01:49:14.460
What, what, what is it that being a, did you find that being an introvert was more beneficial
01:49:22.680
to the life you wanted to live? Like what made the change from being an extrovert to an introvert?
01:49:26.620
Yeah, that's exactly. You actually just said it in a question, Doug, like it just changed
01:49:32.620
the way people interact. You know, I was an insecure individual, so I was a class clown.
01:49:37.700
So most of it, I was like an eye show speed in a way. And then net, net, when I got older,
01:49:42.300
I got more confident, more competent. And then I just became an introvert just because, you
01:49:47.600
know, when you tend to expose yourself, then you have to expose yourself to people's attitudes
01:49:51.900
and behaviors. And so I'm just became a more calm person, a more stoic person, and then
01:49:57.800
just changed how I did everything. So that was the main reason, but it was kind of in
01:50:01.980
your question when you said it does. Cool. Cool, man. I just saw better benefits. But
01:50:07.320
I would say this, most women don't change. They remain the same. All right. And then the
01:50:12.520
guy was spitting game earlier. So just stay stoic. And I think most guys, they see it as
01:50:18.320
like their goal is to maintain the girl for the long duration. Even if you're alpha, and
01:50:24.180
you're in charge and you're leading, women are going to sometimes fall out of love with
01:50:28.040
that. Then they're going to want a guy who's sensitive. You know, they were attracted by
01:50:33.620
you dodging bullets and hopping on helicopters. But then a later point in their life, they're
01:50:38.700
like, I used to like it. But now it's disgusting. It's scary. It's annoying. So people change,
01:50:45.780
especially women, because they just change their love conditions. Don't see it as a loss.
01:50:51.400
Just see it as our deal no longer works out. I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm moving
01:50:57.440
on. I wish you the best. That makes sense. Yeah, totally. I appreciate you guys. Thanks,
01:51:05.640
man. I'll be talking to you, my brother. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. It's funny. He seems
01:51:14.540
extroverted to me. Yeah. Yeah. I would have thought so, too. Yeah. That's what I was like.
01:51:20.140
This is a super chat. He's really calm, though, so I'd agree with that. Okay, let me see. Is
01:51:26.840
it on this new set? I'm just apologizing for the technical difficulties. Thanks for the
01:51:35.480
marvelous opportunity or for the opportunity, though. Well, we do this call-in show every
01:51:40.540
night. I mean, you can figure it out tomorrow. It's no big deal. I don't hold it against anybody,
01:51:46.020
but, you know, I just, I don't, you know, I used to wait for you guys, and it would just drive me
01:51:54.180
freaking nuts, and it's for my sanity, really. It's about me, so. I can't, I can't take Doug being
01:52:01.000
like, turn the YouTube off. I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself. I can't do it. Sorry. Or the countdown,
01:52:06.860
you know, like, we can only do one or two countdowns a show, and then it starts to kill the vibe of the
01:52:11.840
show, so. Yeah, I mean, I'll, I, you got, like, five seconds. Look, I figured out how Zoom work. You
01:52:17.700
guys, you guys gotta do it, too. Respectfully, you know. So, I understand the tech difficulties.
01:52:24.040
You know, we're used to women that won't wait for us. Yeah, I'm glad you are.
01:52:30.720
Okay, well, I would still say I think most people's core personality traits are pretty much the same.
01:52:37.440
I think that's kind of the consensus with some people saying there are exceptions. I, I don't know.
01:52:43.140
I think most people revert, but I haven't seen it. It doesn't mean that I will, or I won't in the
01:52:50.320
future. Who knows? What are your final thoughts, Doug MPA? Yeah, you know, if someone's a douchebag when
01:52:57.720
they're young, they're gonna be a douchebag later on in life. That's why they glorify in movies when
01:53:02.480
someone was a bully, but then they go back to the person they bully and apologize, because that's worth
01:53:08.100
writing a book about or making a movie about. It happens so little. You know what I'm saying?
01:53:13.340
Yeah, that's what I was thinking, because I was telling someone about this show topic, and they said,
01:53:18.440
they, they made a reference to, it was either Joker or Batman, and saying how, like, that, like,
01:53:23.840
Joker became the Joker because he kept saying, like, like, ask me about my scars, and then Batman,
01:53:29.040
or maybe it was Spider-Man. I think it was Spider-Man. Yeah, that day. And I'm like, well,
01:53:34.480
the reason there's a movie about it is because it doesn't really happen. It's like the, it's like
01:53:40.220
the mid chick that gets the hot guy and all the women. I, I, today I walked by, there was this giant,
01:53:46.580
um, event of women, like, watching a movie in the park, and I still couldn't help but think,
01:53:53.840
we're just, like, adult children. You know what I mean? Like, they need to be entertained. Yeah. But,
01:53:58.900
but I was like, what are all these women here for? So I asked the girl, and I'm like, what's the,
01:54:03.280
what's the title? And, um, and then, so I googled the title of the, the show, and of course,
01:54:10.180
it's like this five with a nine. I'm like, yep, that's the female dream. Yeah. Well, some of the
01:54:17.420
best advice my father ever gave me was those who don't have to, won't. And a lot of people
01:54:23.140
are put, especially women, are put, are never put in the position where they have to change,
01:54:27.580
so they won't. Exactly. Well, thanks for calling in today, Doug MPA. I appreciate your contributions
01:54:34.960
as always. Cool. Yeah. Thanks for having me as usual. All right. So guys, uh, thanks so much for
01:54:42.620
watching. If you guys want, you know, you don't have to go to the audacitynetwork.com and sign up
01:54:47.600
for our monthly memberships. I mean, Hey, if we get, do you know what? There's an interview I did
01:54:53.780
like two years, a year and a half ago that I didn't put out because I just, this person was more
01:55:00.340
controversial than Nick F and I got to be honest. I actually didn't know who he was until he,
01:55:06.140
I thought he was someone else. It's a long story. I'm retarded sometimes. I like, I thought he was
01:55:11.700
someone else and then, um, he came on and anyways, but you know, if I had F you, if I had enough people
01:55:19.680
on the website where everyone could stay employed, if I ever got demonetized, I could bring on really
01:55:26.580
anybody and it would be amazing. But yeah, right now I just, I got to stay monetized so people can
01:55:33.360
keep their jobs, including me. So, you know, sign up divorce documentaries in the bio, um, like the
01:55:40.580
video, subscribe. Thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.