JustPearlyThings - Picky Woman Gets Schooled

00:00:00.000 would you guys work through a message yeah she would um

00:00:07.920 i think no i think the intentions matter and i think that if he's messaging somebody else he's

00:00:12.640 already checked out and i'm i think i'm very strict when it comes to that like i think that

00:00:16.800 if you're going to be in a relationship with me i think that you have to put some boundaries in

00:00:20.560 place i think what if you're on holiday what if you're on holiday and then you come back and you

00:00:24.400 find that he he messaged another girl because you were away i'm leaving him yeah no no i'm leaving

00:00:31.280 him i think i i i don't tolerate anything that because to me it seems a bit much to break up

00:00:37.120 over a message it depends what the message is though yeah it depends what the message is

00:00:40.720 the intention is quite clear how how old are you guys again you're what i'm 29 29. how do you two

00:00:48.480 he's 22 though i'm 29 22. how old friends i'm 24. okay she has a little time to waste yeah

00:01:00.720 i'm just thinking because you're you're 29 if you're in a relationship like do you want kids

00:01:04.880 yes um you don't have any kids no so you know if you're single by 30 your chance of having a child

00:01:10.160 drops below 50 so you're actually more likely you to not have a kid than have one and by 34 your chance

00:01:16.080 of having like any kids at all like geriatric pregnancy working is like nothing it's like

00:01:21.760 yeah it's pretty scary so it's like i know the god i serve though i said i know the god i serve

00:01:30.800 because i'm assuming you're picky right uh defined like picky like i think i have my standards i don't

00:01:38.400 think i ask for anything too crazy i just want a guy that's like serious about me has pure intentions

00:01:42.800 for me and will be loyal well i'm just well i'm just thinking because you've been dating since what

00:01:47.040 18 yeah 20. yeah right 20. okay so like i'm just thinking of nine years if none of the guys that

00:01:53.120 approached you you like enough to marry like you're probably picky oh right and this is just me like

00:02:00.960 usually that women that are single over the age of like 25. it's not an insult you know no no no i think 0.96

00:02:06.240 to be honest i'm a christian and i think that that makes things a bit harder for me because there's

00:02:12.160 certain things that i'm like that i want to do to please god or there's some some views that i have

00:02:17.840 that are more like biblical than like the world and i think that now i used to date guys that were

00:02:23.520 non-christians but the things that i was passionate about the values that i had they didn't share those

00:02:27.680 same values and i want to be with someone that shares those same values as me and has the same

00:02:31.600 world view as me so now that's kind of narrowed up is it just him being a christian no i mean he has to be

00:02:37.360 a christian of course but there's just certain things that like i've realized are my deal breakers

00:02:42.160 like what are you one of the waiting till marriage type i mean yeah i'm not i'm not perfect but that's

00:02:48.160 definitely a desire it's a desire to want to wait until marriage okay but you're i'm assuming 29 you're

00:02:53.680 probably not a virgin i'm not a virgin no one's waiting for i mean i mean yeah that's the type of

00:03:00.800 world that we're living in it's definitely a desire i'm not saying it won't happen but it's a desire and

00:03:05.040 i would like to stick to that because i guess in my head i'm like okay so if you're 29 you know that

00:03:10.240 by now now you know at least that if you're single by next year you're most likely not going to have a

00:03:14.640 kid and that by 34 your your chance of having a kid is basically nothing like biologically so i'm

00:03:21.360 just thinking if you get into a relationship with a guy that you like which i'm assuming it's very hard

00:03:25.520 to find a guy that meets all your criteria because i mean me too it's not you're not not just you

00:03:30.880 because i'm thinking like if you get to that point it's kind of like your last chance in a way

00:03:36.960 and then you then you leave it over what a message it's like i would think in the grand scheme of

00:03:41.840 things it would be more important to have a family to you especially you know they say like be fruitful

00:03:46.800 and multiply in the bible yeah but i think for me it's also very important to be in a situation that

00:03:51.840 is healthy and i would rather be single than be in a relationship where i'm not valued or where i'm

00:03:56.880 being disrespected or where the dude is emotionally or sexually cheating yeah sometimes i just think

00:04:02.400 the church like leaves women single and i think it's really sad because i think sometimes they

00:04:06.480 tell women like we have to have these crazy high standards yeah yeah i think that the church 1.00

00:04:10.880 not the message you know that's not that crazy i think the church does need to do a better job with

00:04:16.720 teaching young christians like how to date like i go to an amazing church and it's i'm learning now

00:04:22.320 like through i go to the tab london and my pastor is is amazing and he just recently done a sermon on

00:04:28.960 dating and like how to date you know you know for marriage with the intention of marriage and it was

00:04:34.960 very healthy and very informative would would you submit to your husband for everything

00:04:44.160 but the thing is like with me choosing a husband i'm going to choose somebody that i respect

00:04:48.400 i'm going to choose somebody that loves god and for me submission is about if he submitted submitting

00:04:54.240 to christ i'm low-key submitting to christ if i'm submitting to my husband but it's like to me

00:05:01.040 submitting i think i need to learn about that more i'm definitely my own woman but i think it depends

00:05:07.760 in like in what degree like in what situation do you follow the bible i try well no it just it confuses me

00:05:15.200 when like don't they become one in the bible they say they say the same you have to submit in the

00:05:19.920 bible it's biblical so it confuses it just confuses me like when you say you want a christian man but

00:05:26.160 you don't want to live in a christian way so like why would a man that's super christian want to be with

00:05:31.040 you if you don't want to live in a christian way which is biblical but what do you mean by not living

00:05:35.600 in a christian way so so in the bible says you have to submit to your husband and when i asked you you

00:05:39.920 said yeah but then and but this is what i'm saying i think in certain situations i think

00:05:45.520 and how can i word this in certain situations of course if the decision that my husband is making

00:05:50.560 makes sense and that's fine yeah i don't really know how to just to explain the thoughts that i'm

00:05:57.360 having right now you want you want to submit when you feel like it yes but then the bible also the

00:06:07.040 thing is the bible does instruct women like how to act in marriage but then the bible also instructs 0.93

00:06:12.400 men with how to treat their wives as well and so like the bible says to women like respect your

00:06:17.280 husbands and husbands love your wives and so i feel like yeah but how are we supposed to get a christian

00:06:22.880 guy if we can't start with what we have to do yeah thanks you know like yeah i'm just i'm just you

00:06:28.560 know because you want to start a family yeah so i'm just wondering how this would work out go ahead

00:06:33.600 is it an issue of knowing so you said about the whole decision thing um which logically makes

00:06:38.720 sense so like if he's saying something and you don't i'm just guessing right if he says something

00:06:43.520 and you don't know why is your point you want to know why and if it makes sense to you then you agree

00:06:48.240 and that's your version of submitting yeah i think and that's the thing my thing is i think that a

00:06:54.400 marriage there's going to be a lot of like complexities and like a lot of different situations that

00:06:58.160 we're going to face in marriage it's going to be a learning curve it's going to be like a journey

00:07:03.200 and i think that also with whatever the bible does say the bible also teaches about like

00:07:08.960 sanctification and about like a journey of becoming more like christ so i'm not saying that i'm perfect

00:07:14.720 but i'm saying hopefully me and my husband will get to a point where you know we're on the same page

00:07:20.080 and i think yeah you don't believe like going with the flow no no no but don't say no because

00:07:27.360 going with the flow could be the best thing the reason why i say going with the flow you could be

00:07:31.440 dating you could be on tinder whatever and someone could say what are you looking for right and i could

00:07:35.840 say for me as a 33 year old i want a child i want a child but i don't have a if god blesses me with a

00:07:41.600 child i get blessed with a child i'm not religious in any way shape or form but i believe in in an almighty

00:07:48.640 my thing right now when i meet a girl or a guy and they say like what you're looking for i just say

00:07:52.800 look like my portfolio would say like i want kids soon blah blah blah but i'll just say look i'm just

00:07:57.920 here going for the flow but i'm looking for a a serious individual and i would elaborate on that

00:08:04.480 situation but like when i say i'm going with the flow doesn't mean i want to marry you or date you i

00:08:09.760 just want to chill with you and see where things go so there is no expectations on either side you know

00:08:15.440 what i mean yeah it's just about getting to know the person getting to know the person but i feel

00:08:18.480 like if you're with the whole christian thing um hats off to you um i feel like for guys it can be

00:08:26.560 a bit intimidating and we don't know where to start and we're like oh you know what i mean but if you

00:08:31.440 say like glenn others are super chat says there's no exception to submission in the bible where it says

00:08:36.320 to only submit to your husband when you want to it says for everything because you gotta choose a man 0.55

00:08:41.840 that you trust to lead right and then you gotta listen to it you gotta submit to it it's as simple

00:08:46.240 as that i have sometimes you can ask like at the end of the day if you really are submitting to your

00:08:51.840 husband you're trusting that they know what they're doing they're handling things so any decision they

00:08:56.480 make you shouldn't even be questioning it anyway because you should trust them enough to know that

00:09:00.000 they've already thought that through so you don't have to so by asking questions you're kind of creating

00:09:05.120 problems for him for having to explain it all through to you and then also you're potentially

00:09:08.960 causing another problem by them putting up a barrier if you don't agree with something that

00:09:12.160 he's done like to me i would rather leave him with it he says we're doing something fine i trust him

00:09:17.280 enough that he knows what he's doing and he's doing that for our best interest look at team sports yeah

00:09:21.920 let's say imagine alex ferguson's your manager and then he's like cool this player's gonna win us

00:09:26.400 the champions league and we're like actually and you've got this one brother that's always always

00:09:30.720 like nah i'm the manager yeah i'm here to do a job trust i'm gonna lead and we'll go if you find a

00:09:36.400 man that keeps leading you into the into the darkness then that's not the man for you i guess

00:09:40.560 isn't it but you've got to you've got to be on that journey and actually accept that call i've chosen

JustPearlyThings - July 22, 2023

Picky Woman Gets Schooled

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