Picky Woman Gets Schooled
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
217.7717
Summary
In this episode, we discuss dating when you're in your 30s, what to look out for in a potential partner and how to deal with the pressures of dating in the modern world. We also talk about what it means to be single when you re over the age of 30 and what it s like to be in a relationship with someone over 30.
Transcript
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would you guys work through a message yeah she would um
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i think no i think the intentions matter and i think that if he's messaging somebody else he's
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already checked out and i'm i think i'm very strict when it comes to that like i think that
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if you're going to be in a relationship with me i think that you have to put some boundaries in
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place i think what if you're on holiday what if you're on holiday and then you come back and you
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find that he he messaged another girl because you were away i'm leaving him yeah no no i'm leaving
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him i think i i i don't tolerate anything that because to me it seems a bit much to break up
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over a message it depends what the message is though yeah it depends what the message is
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the intention is quite clear how how old are you guys again you're what i'm 29 29. how do you two
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he's 22 though i'm 29 22. how old friends i'm 24. okay she has a little time to waste yeah
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i'm just thinking because you're you're 29 if you're in a relationship like do you want kids
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yes um you don't have any kids no so you know if you're single by 30 your chance of having a child
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drops below 50 so you're actually more likely you to not have a kid than have one and by 34 your chance
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of having like any kids at all like geriatric pregnancy working is like nothing it's like
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yeah it's pretty scary so it's like i know the god i serve though i said i know the god i serve
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because i'm assuming you're picky right uh defined like picky like i think i have my standards i don't
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think i ask for anything too crazy i just want a guy that's like serious about me has pure intentions
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for me and will be loyal well i'm just well i'm just thinking because you've been dating since what
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18 yeah 20. yeah right 20. okay so like i'm just thinking of nine years if none of the guys that
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approached you you like enough to marry like you're probably picky oh right and this is just me like
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usually that women that are single over the age of like 25. it's not an insult you know no no no i think
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to be honest i'm a christian and i think that that makes things a bit harder for me because there's
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certain things that i'm like that i want to do to please god or there's some some views that i have
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that are more like biblical than like the world and i think that now i used to date guys that were
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non-christians but the things that i was passionate about the values that i had they didn't share those
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same values and i want to be with someone that shares those same values as me and has the same
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world view as me so now that's kind of narrowed up is it just him being a christian no i mean he has to be
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a christian of course but there's just certain things that like i've realized are my deal breakers
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like what are you one of the waiting till marriage type i mean yeah i'm not i'm not perfect but that's
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definitely a desire it's a desire to want to wait until marriage okay but you're i'm assuming 29 you're
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probably not a virgin i'm not a virgin no one's waiting for i mean i mean yeah that's the type of
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world that we're living in it's definitely a desire i'm not saying it won't happen but it's a desire and
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i would like to stick to that because i guess in my head i'm like okay so if you're 29 you know that
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by now now you know at least that if you're single by next year you're most likely not going to have a
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kid and that by 34 your your chance of having a kid is basically nothing like biologically so i'm
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just thinking if you get into a relationship with a guy that you like which i'm assuming it's very hard
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to find a guy that meets all your criteria because i mean me too it's not you're not not just you
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because i'm thinking like if you get to that point it's kind of like your last chance in a way
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and then you then you leave it over what a message it's like i would think in the grand scheme of
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things it would be more important to have a family to you especially you know they say like be fruitful
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and multiply in the bible yeah but i think for me it's also very important to be in a situation that
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is healthy and i would rather be single than be in a relationship where i'm not valued or where i'm
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being disrespected or where the dude is emotionally or sexually cheating yeah sometimes i just think
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the church like leaves women single and i think it's really sad because i think sometimes they
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tell women like we have to have these crazy high standards yeah yeah i think that the church
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not the message you know that's not that crazy i think the church does need to do a better job with
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teaching young christians like how to date like i go to an amazing church and it's i'm learning now
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like through i go to the tab london and my pastor is is amazing and he just recently done a sermon on
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dating and like how to date you know you know for marriage with the intention of marriage and it was
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very healthy and very informative would would you submit to your husband for everything
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but the thing is like with me choosing a husband i'm going to choose somebody that i respect
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i'm going to choose somebody that loves god and for me submission is about if he submitted submitting
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to christ i'm low-key submitting to christ if i'm submitting to my husband but it's like to me
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submitting i think i need to learn about that more i'm definitely my own woman but i think it depends
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in like in what degree like in what situation do you follow the bible i try well no it just it confuses me
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when like don't they become one in the bible they say they say the same you have to submit in the
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bible it's biblical so it confuses it just confuses me like when you say you want a christian man but
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you don't want to live in a christian way so like why would a man that's super christian want to be with
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you if you don't want to live in a christian way which is biblical but what do you mean by not living
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in a christian way so so in the bible says you have to submit to your husband and when i asked you you
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said yeah but then and but this is what i'm saying i think in certain situations i think
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and how can i word this in certain situations of course if the decision that my husband is making
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makes sense and that's fine yeah i don't really know how to just to explain the thoughts that i'm
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having right now you want you want to submit when you feel like it yes but then the bible also the
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thing is the bible does instruct women like how to act in marriage but then the bible also instructs
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men with how to treat their wives as well and so like the bible says to women like respect your
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husbands and husbands love your wives and so i feel like yeah but how are we supposed to get a christian
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guy if we can't start with what we have to do yeah thanks you know like yeah i'm just i'm just you
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know because you want to start a family yeah so i'm just wondering how this would work out go ahead
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is it an issue of knowing so you said about the whole decision thing um which logically makes
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sense so like if he's saying something and you don't i'm just guessing right if he says something
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and you don't know why is your point you want to know why and if it makes sense to you then you agree
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and that's your version of submitting yeah i think and that's the thing my thing is i think that a
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marriage there's going to be a lot of like complexities and like a lot of different situations that
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we're going to face in marriage it's going to be a learning curve it's going to be like a journey
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and i think that also with whatever the bible does say the bible also teaches about like
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sanctification and about like a journey of becoming more like christ so i'm not saying that i'm perfect
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but i'm saying hopefully me and my husband will get to a point where you know we're on the same page
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and i think yeah you don't believe like going with the flow no no no but don't say no because
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going with the flow could be the best thing the reason why i say going with the flow you could be
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dating you could be on tinder whatever and someone could say what are you looking for right and i could
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say for me as a 33 year old i want a child i want a child but i don't have a if god blesses me with a
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child i get blessed with a child i'm not religious in any way shape or form but i believe in in an almighty
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my thing right now when i meet a girl or a guy and they say like what you're looking for i just say
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look like my portfolio would say like i want kids soon blah blah blah but i'll just say look i'm just
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here going for the flow but i'm looking for a a serious individual and i would elaborate on that
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situation but like when i say i'm going with the flow doesn't mean i want to marry you or date you i
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just want to chill with you and see where things go so there is no expectations on either side you know
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what i mean yeah it's just about getting to know the person getting to know the person but i feel
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like if you're with the whole christian thing um hats off to you um i feel like for guys it can be
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a bit intimidating and we don't know where to start and we're like oh you know what i mean but if you
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say like glenn others are super chat says there's no exception to submission in the bible where it says
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to only submit to your husband when you want to it says for everything because you gotta choose a man
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that you trust to lead right and then you gotta listen to it you gotta submit to it it's as simple
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as that i have sometimes you can ask like at the end of the day if you really are submitting to your
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husband you're trusting that they know what they're doing they're handling things so any decision they
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make you shouldn't even be questioning it anyway because you should trust them enough to know that
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they've already thought that through so you don't have to so by asking questions you're kind of creating
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problems for him for having to explain it all through to you and then also you're potentially
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causing another problem by them putting up a barrier if you don't agree with something that
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he's done like to me i would rather leave him with it he says we're doing something fine i trust him
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enough that he knows what he's doing and he's doing that for our best interest look at team sports yeah
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let's say imagine alex ferguson's your manager and then he's like cool this player's gonna win us
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the champions league and we're like actually and you've got this one brother that's always always
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like nah i'm the manager yeah i'm here to do a job trust i'm gonna lead and we'll go if you find a
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man that keeps leading you into the into the darkness then that's not the man for you i guess
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isn't it but you've got to you've got to be on that journey and actually accept that call i've chosen