JustPearlyThings - May 07, 2023


Post Wall Journalist Gets Schooled On Femininity


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

184.68224

Word Count

1,700

Sentence Count

139

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Oh, is the video ready?
00:00:01.640 Yeah.
00:00:01.860 Okay, so have you guys seen this video?
00:00:04.520 I have.
00:00:05.060 I've seen it.
00:00:05.680 No, I actually have.
00:00:06.300 I've seen it.
00:00:07.460 Found it really funny.
00:00:09.160 Okay, don't, you know, but I'm going to interview, but you about it last, but everyone else.
00:00:13.640 Okay, go ahead.
00:00:18.460 PhDs, MD, PhDs.
00:00:20.800 We also are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs, along with Latina women in America.
00:00:26.440 Pew Research said that women are now out earning men.
00:00:30.000 Out earning men in 22 of the largest cities in America, including where I live, New York,
00:00:35.580 D.C., L.A., you name it.
00:00:37.880 When we talk, and I know that you've said that you cannot teach a man or tell a man how to
00:00:42.340 be a man, so I will not ask you to indict men in this question, but I do want you to speak,
00:00:47.720 Ayanla, to how women need to, I don't know, position ourselves so that we can be in our
00:00:58.060 divinity so we can have our crowns right, how we can create and not build, when some
00:01:03.720 of us, quite frankly, feel that the men that are available to us, and I'm talking about
00:01:08.480 across the color spectrum, across the age spectrum, trust me, I've done them all, they are not
00:01:14.040 positioned to protect nor provide because of some of the statistics we just talked about.
00:01:18.520 They're not earning the incomes.
00:01:20.280 They're not having the resources, and some of them are not even showing up in the leadership.
00:01:25.560 Would you date a bus driver?
00:01:29.700 You.
00:01:30.520 Would you date a bus driver?
00:01:30.940 If he owns the bus.
00:01:32.420 If he owns it.
00:01:33.500 If he owns the bus.
00:01:34.340 That's a problem.
00:01:35.300 That's a problem.
00:01:36.820 That's a problem.
00:01:37.600 Because the standards and requisites, and I'm not talking about him laying on his sofa playing
00:01:43.180 video games all day, I'm not talking about that, but the standards and the criteria that
00:01:49.620 we use to measure men is off for who we are as women and who they are in this society.
00:01:57.100 I would date a bus driver if he loved driving the bus, if he was a man of integrity, if he
00:02:04.240 was good to his mama, if he treated me well, I would date a bus driver.
00:02:09.800 But we think that it's another human being's responsibility to give us what we need instead
00:02:16.660 of us building together.
00:02:18.220 I can build with a bus driver.
00:02:20.100 I'd have my little stash over on the side and my prenup, but I could build with a bus driver.
00:02:26.160 So I think some of the criteria that we look for in the reality of today keeps us unhappy
00:02:34.080 keeps us angry, keeps us in balance.
00:02:37.860 And then when the men show up, we want to beat them up because they're not living up to our
00:02:42.600 standards and criteria.
00:02:44.440 And it's not working, beloved.
00:02:46.860 It's just not working.
00:02:48.700 So it's not that it's bad or wrong.
00:02:51.500 It's obsolete.
00:02:52.980 It's obsolete.
00:02:54.240 We have to come up with a new way of being.
00:02:56.500 I don't believe in carrying a man.
00:02:58.240 A man has to do for himself.
00:03:00.080 My son got his first job when he was nine.
00:03:04.000 Nine.
00:03:04.880 Okay.
00:03:05.400 Because you're a black man.
00:03:06.740 You will know how to take care of yourself.
00:03:08.800 But I think the way we measure it, it's just obsolete.
00:03:15.300 I think that's a factual analysis.
00:03:18.080 Whatever we want, expect.
00:03:20.440 Okay.
00:03:20.940 So my first question, would you date a bus driver?
00:03:26.900 No.
00:03:27.380 If you're on the bus.
00:03:30.920 What she said.
00:03:31.720 No, I'm joking.
00:03:37.180 It's just so surface level to ask that though, isn't it?
00:03:40.340 No, there's bus drivers that are trying to take women on, like you guys, on dates.
00:03:45.160 And they want to know if you would, you know, you would date them.
00:03:47.460 How much do bus drivers earn?
00:03:54.660 There's probably like levels though, isn't there?
00:03:57.060 I mean, I'm just going to look it up.
00:03:58.160 Bus driver's salary, London.
00:04:02.040 15 pounds an hour.
00:04:04.120 So like, I mean, that's like 18 US dollars, 15 pounds an hour.
00:04:10.980 So yes, no.
00:04:12.200 I'm going to say no now, but come back to me.
00:04:17.500 Okay.
00:04:17.960 So no, no.
00:04:19.320 I think I very much agree with what she said.
00:04:22.800 Like, if you're passionate in what you do, a lot of people earn way less than 15 pounds
00:04:27.480 an hour.
00:04:29.340 You're grafting.
00:04:30.300 And at the end of the day, you might be able to change that later on down the line.
00:04:34.540 So yeah, if I get along with you well, you're presenting yourself well, you're treating me
00:04:37.980 well, 100%.
00:04:38.900 Yeah.
00:04:40.000 Yeah, no, I would.
00:04:41.000 I used to, before I went out with my now partner, who's a man, I went out with two females.
00:04:47.040 And if I said that, obviously when I was with a woman, obviously, you know, like we was
00:04:54.440 50-50 in and things like that.
00:04:55.820 So if I would do that with a woman, then kind of, sort of, not, I'm saying like I don't
00:05:00.040 like being treated by a man, but for me personally, as someone who's been out with both females
00:05:04.200 and males, how can I hold a man to a higher standard of having to look after me when my
00:05:09.680 previous partner, who was a female, didn't have to earn as much?
00:05:12.920 It would be, for me personally, stupid to say, well, yeah, my man's got to earn X amount
00:05:18.000 because I never asked that of my female partner.
00:05:20.100 So what?
00:05:20.760 I'd have to ask that of my male partner.
00:05:22.460 Are your standards exactly the same when you look at men and women?
00:05:25.320 Yeah, I think so.
00:05:26.420 I think so.
00:05:27.100 I think so.
00:05:27.660 I never saw myself with a man, so I think it took me by surprise.
00:05:32.360 So I think it's not.
00:05:34.260 You never, so you were always like a lesbian before?
00:05:37.300 And then you found this guy and he was an exception?
00:05:39.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:39.840 I don't think it was an exception because now I, like, obviously, apart from, I'm so
00:05:43.540 sorry, babe, you are the only man I find attractive.
00:05:45.880 But like, obviously, I'm like, it's, I wouldn't rule out, like, just be, like, he's the only
00:05:51.740 man ever.
00:05:52.360 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:52.940 If that makes sense.
00:05:55.360 But, yeah, but I can't hold one in a certain respect without holding the other in the same
00:06:00.120 respect.
00:06:00.340 So if I said to my female partner, like, you know, yeah, it's fine for you to earn the
00:06:05.160 same as me and put 50-50 in, then how can I not be like that with my man?
00:06:09.020 But that's just, I think, a personal thing of going through that experience.
00:06:12.460 You know, it's interesting because I've had other girls that were bi on the show and
00:06:16.100 they actually said they had, like, higher standards for the guys than they do for the women.
00:06:19.780 I just, I'm just realistic, like, I'm just logical.
00:06:22.160 Like, I think it's just logic that, you know, if you're going to go out with both, then you
00:06:26.020 can't have different standards, can you?
00:06:27.620 Because at the end of the day, you're asking for the same thing, which is love in the same
00:06:31.360 capacity that I would ask love from a woman is the same capacity that I would ask love from
00:06:35.820 a man.
00:06:36.120 And so how can I ask for different materialistic things if what I'm asking for is the same?
00:06:41.920 Is the relationship dynamic the same when you go for men and women?
00:06:46.900 For me personally, like, the females I went out with were kind of tomboyish.
00:06:51.140 So, I'd say that the dynamics were more similar than I expected.
00:06:56.860 Okay.
00:06:58.000 I've always just been attracted to kind of, like, the leader of the group, whoever that
00:07:02.220 is, whatever, colour, ethnicity, religion, sex, do you know what I mean?
00:07:07.420 I've always just been attracted to someone.
00:07:09.460 But not a leader as in makes the most money, more as in character, you know, the kind of
00:07:13.660 brightest, the brightest star in the room, the brightest character.
00:07:16.860 So, for me, that's the most important thing rather than job.
00:07:21.160 Okay.
00:07:21.760 Would you date a bus driver?
00:07:23.220 Yeah, I'd date a bus driver.
00:07:26.640 Is there any profession you wouldn't date?
00:07:30.320 Like, adult stuff, you know, like, OF stuff.
00:07:33.860 Oh, OF, no.
00:07:35.040 No, or any of that type of stuff and anything that's, like, when they have to dress promiscuously
00:07:40.260 or anything like this.
00:07:41.380 Okay.
00:07:41.760 So, no, like, do you guys have Hooters here?
00:07:45.740 No.
00:07:46.100 No, okay.
00:07:47.160 Hooters is, like, a booty shorts chain in the U.S., where it's, like, it's, like, a
00:07:51.220 wait, like, they're waitresses, but they dress.
00:07:53.500 They wear, like, the orange stuff.
00:07:54.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:55.440 Yeah, yeah, that's Hooters.
00:07:56.840 Bring it to the U.K.
00:07:59.560 Not a degeneracy.
00:08:00.820 Haram.
00:08:03.800 Okay.
00:08:05.200 So, outside of just, like, promiscuous, is there any other industry you wouldn't date?
00:08:12.400 Do you know what?
00:08:13.140 Like, you know if someone, like, worked in a zoo as well?
00:08:15.260 Because I don't like the thought of, like,
00:08:16.780 some animals in captivity against their will and stuff.
00:08:19.040 I think that's a bit mad.
00:08:19.980 Okay.
00:08:20.200 And if they were, like, pro that, I'll be, like, morally, it might say a bit bad.
00:08:23.900 Wow.
00:08:24.020 That's, like, a very random idea.
00:08:25.360 I don't know.
00:08:25.740 I just, I just, I didn't really think about answering the question.
00:08:28.140 Yeah.
00:08:28.680 Okay.
00:08:29.240 What about you?
00:08:29.980 Would you date a bus driver?
00:08:30.960 I would.
00:08:31.360 As she said, if he's passionate and he's a family man and he respects his mom, absolutely.
00:08:35.740 I, it's fine.
00:08:36.980 Because I think the goal is to find a respectful man that can treat you well, other than a job.
00:08:42.900 We can fix that later on.
00:08:44.020 It's fine.
00:08:44.700 If you haven't.
00:08:45.120 No, no, no, no, no, no fixing it.
00:08:46.820 It's like he's a bus driver the rest of his life.
00:08:48.900 That's fine.
00:08:49.720 That's fine.
00:08:50.320 Are you, does that switch your answer?
00:08:52.480 Bus driver the rest of his life?
00:08:53.820 No, it doesn't.
00:08:54.420 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:09:02.660 this platform.
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