Post Wall Journalist Gets Schooled On Femininity
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
184.68224
Summary
In this episode, I sit down with my good friend and entrepreneur, Ayanla Johnson, to discuss how women need to position ourselves in our divinity so that we can have our crowns right, when some of us, quite frankly, feel that the men that are available to us across the color spectrum, across the age spectrum, are not positioned to protect nor provide.
Transcript
00:00:09.160
Okay, don't, you know, but I'm going to interview, but you about it last, but everyone else.
00:00:20.800
We also are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs, along with Latina women in America.
00:00:26.440
Pew Research said that women are now out earning men.
00:00:30.000
Out earning men in 22 of the largest cities in America, including where I live, New York,
00:00:37.880
When we talk, and I know that you've said that you cannot teach a man or tell a man how to
00:00:42.340
be a man, so I will not ask you to indict men in this question, but I do want you to speak,
00:00:47.720
Ayanla, to how women need to, I don't know, position ourselves so that we can be in our
00:00:58.060
divinity so we can have our crowns right, how we can create and not build, when some
00:01:03.720
of us, quite frankly, feel that the men that are available to us, and I'm talking about
00:01:08.480
across the color spectrum, across the age spectrum, trust me, I've done them all, they are not
00:01:14.040
positioned to protect nor provide because of some of the statistics we just talked about.
00:01:20.280
They're not having the resources, and some of them are not even showing up in the leadership.
00:01:37.600
Because the standards and requisites, and I'm not talking about him laying on his sofa playing
00:01:43.180
video games all day, I'm not talking about that, but the standards and the criteria that
00:01:49.620
we use to measure men is off for who we are as women and who they are in this society.
00:01:57.100
I would date a bus driver if he loved driving the bus, if he was a man of integrity, if he
00:02:04.240
was good to his mama, if he treated me well, I would date a bus driver.
00:02:09.800
But we think that it's another human being's responsibility to give us what we need instead
00:02:20.100
I'd have my little stash over on the side and my prenup, but I could build with a bus driver.
00:02:26.160
So I think some of the criteria that we look for in the reality of today keeps us unhappy
00:02:37.860
And then when the men show up, we want to beat them up because they're not living up to our
00:03:08.800
But I think the way we measure it, it's just obsolete.
00:03:20.940
So my first question, would you date a bus driver?
00:03:37.180
It's just so surface level to ask that though, isn't it?
00:03:40.340
No, there's bus drivers that are trying to take women on, like you guys, on dates.
00:03:45.160
And they want to know if you would, you know, you would date them.
00:03:54.660
There's probably like levels though, isn't there?
00:04:04.120
So like, I mean, that's like 18 US dollars, 15 pounds an hour.
00:04:22.800
Like, if you're passionate in what you do, a lot of people earn way less than 15 pounds
00:04:30.300
And at the end of the day, you might be able to change that later on down the line.
00:04:34.540
So yeah, if I get along with you well, you're presenting yourself well, you're treating me
00:04:41.000
I used to, before I went out with my now partner, who's a man, I went out with two females.
00:04:47.040
And if I said that, obviously when I was with a woman, obviously, you know, like we was
00:04:55.820
So if I would do that with a woman, then kind of, sort of, not, I'm saying like I don't
00:05:00.040
like being treated by a man, but for me personally, as someone who's been out with both females
00:05:04.200
and males, how can I hold a man to a higher standard of having to look after me when my
00:05:09.680
previous partner, who was a female, didn't have to earn as much?
00:05:12.920
It would be, for me personally, stupid to say, well, yeah, my man's got to earn X amount
00:05:18.000
because I never asked that of my female partner.
00:05:22.460
Are your standards exactly the same when you look at men and women?
00:05:27.660
I never saw myself with a man, so I think it took me by surprise.
00:05:34.260
You never, so you were always like a lesbian before?
00:05:37.300
And then you found this guy and he was an exception?
00:05:39.840
I don't think it was an exception because now I, like, obviously, apart from, I'm so
00:05:43.540
sorry, babe, you are the only man I find attractive.
00:05:45.880
But like, obviously, I'm like, it's, I wouldn't rule out, like, just be, like, he's the only
00:05:55.360
But, yeah, but I can't hold one in a certain respect without holding the other in the same
00:06:00.340
So if I said to my female partner, like, you know, yeah, it's fine for you to earn the
00:06:05.160
same as me and put 50-50 in, then how can I not be like that with my man?
00:06:09.020
But that's just, I think, a personal thing of going through that experience.
00:06:12.460
You know, it's interesting because I've had other girls that were bi on the show and
00:06:16.100
they actually said they had, like, higher standards for the guys than they do for the women.
00:06:19.780
I just, I'm just realistic, like, I'm just logical.
00:06:22.160
Like, I think it's just logic that, you know, if you're going to go out with both, then you
00:06:27.620
Because at the end of the day, you're asking for the same thing, which is love in the same
00:06:31.360
capacity that I would ask love from a woman is the same capacity that I would ask love from
00:06:36.120
And so how can I ask for different materialistic things if what I'm asking for is the same?
00:06:41.920
Is the relationship dynamic the same when you go for men and women?
00:06:46.900
For me personally, like, the females I went out with were kind of tomboyish.
00:06:51.140
So, I'd say that the dynamics were more similar than I expected.
00:06:58.000
I've always just been attracted to kind of, like, the leader of the group, whoever that
00:07:02.220
is, whatever, colour, ethnicity, religion, sex, do you know what I mean?
00:07:09.460
But not a leader as in makes the most money, more as in character, you know, the kind of
00:07:13.660
brightest, the brightest star in the room, the brightest character.
00:07:16.860
So, for me, that's the most important thing rather than job.
00:07:35.040
No, or any of that type of stuff and anything that's, like, when they have to dress promiscuously
00:07:47.160
Hooters is, like, a booty shorts chain in the U.S., where it's, like, it's, like, a
00:07:51.220
wait, like, they're waitresses, but they dress.
00:08:05.200
So, outside of just, like, promiscuous, is there any other industry you wouldn't date?
00:08:13.140
Like, you know if someone, like, worked in a zoo as well?
00:08:16.780
some animals in captivity against their will and stuff.
00:08:20.200
And if they were, like, pro that, I'll be, like, morally, it might say a bit bad.
00:08:25.740
I just, I just, I didn't really think about answering the question.
00:08:31.360
As she said, if he's passionate and he's a family man and he respects his mom, absolutely.
00:08:36.980
Because I think the goal is to find a respectful man that can treat you well, other than a job.
00:08:46.820
It's like he's a bus driver the rest of his life.
00:08:54.420
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:09:04.020
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:09:08.560
Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.