JustPearlyThings - March 26, 2023


Post Wall Woman Gets In Her Feelings After Man said this


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

207.66954

Word count

1,473

Sentence count

109

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the baggage that men and women carry when it comes to having kids. We discuss the benefits and drawbacks of being a single parent vs. being in a relationship with someone who already has kids.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You also have to take into account that a lot of a lot of men and women already have children when you meet them.
00:00:08.020 And if you have a good heart and you're a good person, you will actually embrace that.
00:00:14.020 And I will be really open about that. And I will say that to anyone I meet.
00:00:17.380 If I meet a man now, I don't care how old you are. 0.66
00:00:20.520 You know, you could be a single dad, whether you're 25, 45 and bringing these kids up on your own.
00:00:27.340 I'm going to embrace that.
00:00:29.640 If I got a touch on that, like, yeah, like that's I think it's very, correct me if I think it's very easy for like a woman to say that. 1.00
00:00:38.120 But I just feel like me, I'm losing a lot if I'm dating an older woman who already has kids.
00:00:47.760 Like that's baggage I do not want to carry.
00:00:49.480 It's not baggage. That's the word that I didn't like you using. It's not baggage.
00:00:53.680 You're using really, I don't know.
00:00:56.800 Let me tell you why I said baggage.
00:00:57.820 But that's that's how men view it. And it's not it's not fun. It's not nice, but it's just true.
00:01:01.780 That's how men view it.
00:01:02.360 Not all men. 0.61
00:01:03.080 Men could have baggage too. I would not call anything you have baggage.
00:01:08.120 So I'm talking to the guys behind me to say you're 20. Say if right now, as a 20 year old, you'd already got two or three kids.
00:01:19.120 It's just how it is. I would not even though you're young and you've had kids at an early age, I would not call that baggage.
00:01:25.080 Why would you call kids and life experiences baggage?
00:01:28.620 Let me tell you what.
00:01:29.040 It's wrong.
00:01:30.540 That's a woman's point of view. 1.00
00:01:32.340 Yeah, I agree with that.
00:01:34.380 Wait, wait, wait, wait. More typically, because because it fulfills our mating strategy, because in history, like if a guy could impregnate multiple people, it showed he could take care of them where men wanted to ensure paternity and pass on resources to the kids that are there.
00:01:47.880 So, like, I'm not saying every single person and every single guy, but it's just how in general they view it.
00:01:53.740 Yeah, I think.
00:01:54.760 Oh, I was just going to say, I think we're throwing around the word baggage too loosely.
00:01:58.940 Like, how is like somebody's past experiences and their children that they've like had from those past experiences?
00:02:04.400 How is that baggage?
00:02:05.460 Because if you're dating older women, there's the probability that they have a past marriage and they have past children. 0.93
00:02:11.620 So if you don't want to deal with that baggage, then don't date them.
00:02:14.240 And, you know, but he's saying he doesn't because that's baggage to him.
00:02:18.560 And I think he should be like allowed to say that.
00:02:21.160 Yeah, he can say that.
00:02:22.380 And remember, men have baggage too.
00:02:24.420 Let me tell you the baggage that men carry.
00:02:26.080 But you always like, you always, you always do this.
00:02:28.740 Whenever we say something about women, we always have to say something about men.
00:02:32.120 We do because we have to be fair.
00:02:33.260 But no, we don't.
00:02:33.540 Why?
00:02:33.920 We have to be fair because a man, although they get, there's two things that happen. 0.62
00:02:37.260 We talk about, Deneva, we talk about men's baggage all the time. 0.90
00:02:40.600 Which baggage is it that men have then?
00:02:42.020 Not baggage than men have that we talk about because I don't really hear them.
00:02:45.560 What are you talking about?
00:02:46.340 In the media all the time.
00:02:47.880 Why is men are trash?
00:02:49.020 Why is that a common phrase?
00:02:49.720 No, that's not baggage.
00:02:50.780 That's a judgment.
00:02:51.840 The baggage that men carry, if they're older, they get as well, means they've either been incels for longer or they've fucked around for longer. 0.88
00:02:58.800 So those two bring two problems.
00:03:00.420 Either you're going to be insecure and think that you cannot trust any woman because you've been with too many three or fours. 0.96
00:03:05.060 Or you're going to be very insecure in yourself and in your manlyhood because you've not had enough experience.
00:03:10.440 Some men have the insecurities and they have their baggage.
00:03:12.460 That's why you'd rather be with somebody that's somewhat on your level because it's easier for both of you to carry the same capital.
00:03:17.920 Dinova, I agree with you.
00:03:21.900 What?
00:03:24.220 You agree with me?
00:03:25.200 Yeah, some men have baggage, some women have baggage. 0.99
00:03:28.100 But I'm saying men and women don't look at children the same and you can't change reality.
00:03:32.960 It just is what it is.
00:03:35.620 I've heard guys say they get more girls after they have kids. 0.98
00:03:38.760 I've never heard a single mother say her dating options got better after a child. 0.98
00:03:42.800 I've never heard that.
00:03:43.840 But like I've heard guys say they brought their kid to the park because they know the girls would like, you know, aww.
00:03:49.780 Typically speaking, men don't want to have to spread their resources to kids that are not their own.
00:03:54.780 And it's also like they have a lot of risk that comes with that.
00:03:57.980 Like they have to invest in a kid that's not theirs.
00:03:59.800 And I don't know if you have kids and I don't know, you know, how old the kids are.
00:04:03.900 But especially if they're young, they could raise a kid for 10 years and have no legal rights to that child at the end of it.
00:04:09.180 They've got options.
00:04:10.140 If they want to be involved in the child's life, obviously it's a man's choice. 0.91
00:04:14.080 If they want to be that involved and have rights, they can legally adopt and give their name to that child.
00:04:20.420 Or they are just the woman's partner who has kids in their life.
00:04:25.360 Right.
00:04:25.640 And they can.
00:04:26.400 And I think if more women would do that, that would help. 1.00
00:04:30.140 But I don't think that's typical with a lot of single mothers. 0.99
00:04:34.580 That's not what I've gathered.
00:04:35.620 Because you ask them, like, can the dad discipline the kid as his own?
00:04:39.940 So if you disagree with, like, he spanks your kid, you disagree with it, would you let him do it?
00:04:44.100 And a lot of single mothers say no to that question. 1.00
00:04:46.320 But there are a lot more single mothers than single dads. 1.00
00:04:49.420 Right.
00:04:49.940 Because the court system doesn't allow a lot of men to see their children. 1.00
00:04:53.620 I mean, women win custody 90% of the time. 1.00
00:04:56.760 And there's a lot of guys that get screwed in court and don't get access to their children.
00:05:00.620 The dads also leave kids a lot more, I think.
00:05:03.480 Can I just interject on that one?
00:05:05.060 Well, obviously, there's statistics on that.
00:05:08.880 But there's also, there's a big community of men that don't have access to their children.
00:05:14.780 And they're not being recognized.
00:05:16.680 Right.
00:05:17.220 And there's a thing where you hear this a lot, you hear this a lot.
00:05:19.280 But it's like, there are stories of children that were led to believe by their mothers that their father left them.
00:05:26.400 And there's somehow at the blue, I have a personal friend of mine, for example, who was able to regain contact with his father after like 25 years or something, or 10 or 15 years, sorry, minus his childhood via my LinkedIn.
00:05:40.220 And then found out that it was actually his mother that pushed him away.
00:05:45.600 But he was indoctrinated with the belief that he was abandoned by his father.
00:05:48.880 So it's just like, whenever I hear these kind of things, I'm not necessarily saying that not all men are amazing fathers and stuff.
00:05:54.800 But there's a lot of men out here that don't have a voice.
00:05:58.460 And all the focus is on the women's side of things, particularly single fathers, because I have personal experience of co-parenting.
00:06:06.560 And I try not to make too much of a comparison between men and women, but from personal experience, women have many advantages that single fathers would dream of having.
00:06:22.920 Something as basic as picking up your child from nursery and having to be interrogated because you're seen as a threat because you're around little children every single day for the next 15, 13 years.
00:06:33.540 So these kind of things all add up. So I'm just saying that there's more to it than that than just like that, you know?
00:06:38.420 Yeah, and I agree with you to an extent because incarceration, like mass incarceration in America is mainly men.
00:06:43.580 So a lot more women are forced to be single mothers. Yeah, so I agree with you. 1.00
00:06:48.420 I'm just saying from society.
00:06:49.420 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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