JustPearlyThings - April 16, 2023


Proof That Women Give HORRIBLE Dating Advice


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

227.50745

Word count

2,291

Sentence count

194

Harmful content

Misogyny

19

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about trauma and how it can affect a man's ability to be a good father and husband. We also talk about why women are attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable and why men who open up more.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Well, and I think it also goes back to, like, women reproduce with aggressive men.
00:00:04.380 You know that violent felons have more children than people that don't have a criminal history.
00:00:11.200 Wow.
00:00:11.780 Really?
00:00:12.340 Is that not to do with grape, though?
00:00:14.280 I mean, that sounds a little sus, that they have a violent history and then they have more children.
00:00:18.640 Look at what happened to Ted Bundy when he was in prison.
00:00:22.120 I know, but I feel like that's a wild exception.
00:00:24.840 In general.
00:00:25.220 No, it's not an exception.
00:00:26.180 If you take the percentage of men that reproduce that are violent felons, they reproduce more than people without a criminal history.
00:00:33.940 And there's even, like, a trend of women falling in love with their captors or pursuing those men when they're in prison.
00:00:40.760 That's trauma, though.
00:00:42.420 Stockholm Syndrome is, like, pursuing your captor.
00:00:44.760 No, I don't think it is.
00:00:45.880 I think it's biology.
00:00:47.240 I'm not saying it's, like, a good thing.
00:00:49.520 But why?
00:00:50.400 Because historically, what happened?
00:00:52.960 We were in tribes, right?
00:00:54.700 And what would happen?
00:00:55.920 You would be with the strongest man because they would kill your man and they would take you.
00:00:59.820 I don't know.
00:01:00.060 So you had to, like, learn how to fall in love with the person that captured you if you wanted to survive and reproduce.
00:01:06.920 Just, like, an anomaly here.
00:01:08.280 But, like, I could not be with a man if he didn't open up to me, if he didn't have a soft side.
00:01:12.680 And, like, if someone opens up to me early on, I take that as a positive sign that I've made them feel comfortable.
00:01:16.640 I've never, ever, ever judged someone for that.
00:01:19.280 And I don't think that men should be trying to be with the kind of women that would judge them for that.
00:01:22.760 Like, I would never encourage my male friends to be with a girl who would, like, sneer at him for crying.
00:01:29.120 Yeah, but I think, by and large, like, women lose respect for men the more that they open up. 0.99
00:01:34.820 So I think it's, like, from a feminine point of view where, like, this is why they say women give bad dating advice. 0.90
00:01:40.040 Because across the board, women don't respect men that open up more. 0.95
00:01:43.220 I think it depends on a lot of factors, like age and stuff like that.
00:01:46.640 Because I think maybe at 23, I would have been like, ooh, but you meet a man at 45, he's had children, he's had trauma.
00:01:54.520 Like, you're going to have people come with more stuff.
00:01:57.140 And I'm more, like, 360 now.
00:02:00.240 And I would be able to deal with it much more now than I would be able to.
00:02:02.580 I wouldn't judge a man for opening up to me now.
00:02:04.720 I mean, yeah, you might not think you would.
00:02:07.540 No, I really don't think I would.
00:02:08.320 No, but there's studies that show that women lose respect for men the more they cry. 0.87
00:02:12.940 The more they, like, that's one way that men open up is to cry in front of you.
00:02:15.580 But it's still only a segment of society, right?
00:02:16.840 It's still only a segment of society.
00:02:18.380 No, it's across the board.
00:02:19.100 They've done multiple studies with multiple different women in multiple regions. 0.98
00:02:23.240 Because think about it, like, we don't, you don't want a guy that's crying every day.
00:02:26.420 Not every day, but, like, something traumatic's having to him.
00:02:29.100 His dad's died.
00:02:29.780 You want him crying.
00:02:30.400 Right, but see, this is the thing, though.
00:02:32.480 Like, every time I bring up this example, that's always what women say. 1.00
00:02:35.560 It's like, when his dad died.
00:02:36.660 That's extreme.
00:02:38.280 Yeah, but we're not talking about every day.
00:02:39.920 But overall, you still want a strong man.
00:02:42.040 You don't want a guy that's crying every day.
00:02:44.100 You can cry every day.
00:02:44.700 But every day, and we're saying, like, once, like, there's a, again, there's a spectrum.
00:02:48.740 Okay, so how often can he cry?
00:02:50.840 Like, when, how often are you, when something traumatic happens?
00:02:53.540 Okay, so how often?
00:02:54.460 What if it's once a week?
00:02:55.880 You staying?
00:02:56.900 No.
00:02:57.600 Okay.
00:02:58.100 I would say, I mean, I feel like he's going through a bad patch or something, and he's
00:03:01.820 got depression, and, like, then, again, there's different circumstances.
00:03:04.300 Okay, so three years, he's depressed.
00:03:06.320 Every week, he's crying.
00:03:07.520 That's going to be tough.
00:03:08.600 But, see, that's my point.
00:03:10.300 But if I was crying every day for three years, that's going to be tough.
00:03:13.320 I don't know.
00:03:13.880 Girls cry once a month, if you know what I mean.
00:03:16.180 Yeah, but that's not every day for three years.
00:03:20.000 It depends on your preference, no?
00:03:21.800 You're right.
00:03:22.340 There's some women that put up with more, and there's some that put up with less. 1.00
00:03:25.460 But if you're advising men, why would you tell them to do something that most women 0.98
00:03:29.460 don't like, by and large?
00:03:30.200 Because I wouldn't want them to be with most women, though. 1.00
00:03:32.100 I'd want them to be with someone who's going to emotionally support them and love them,
00:03:35.120 like, unconditionally.
00:03:36.640 And if that means I cry every week.
00:03:37.880 Women don't love unconditionally. 1.00
00:03:39.600 They love under conditions.
00:03:41.100 I love unconditionally, 100%.
00:03:41.500 Yeah, come on. 0.77
00:03:42.840 If your guy was unemployed for 10 years, you're staying.
00:03:45.720 Not working, sitting on the couch.
00:03:47.820 Obviously, it's situational when you get with somebody.
00:03:50.120 But that's the point.
00:03:51.240 See, you wouldn't.
00:03:52.860 But you would.
00:03:53.800 Like, if something happened to my boyfriend, if my boyfriend got cancer and couldn't work
00:03:57.640 and he was ill for 10 years, would I leave him?
00:04:00.420 Absolutely not.
00:04:01.020 Not in a million years.
00:04:01.940 I would stay and I'd support him.
00:04:02.920 It's actually men who leave in that situation.
00:04:04.140 But I wasn't talking about the exception.
00:04:05.880 I'm talking about the rule.
00:04:06.840 And one of the number one indicators of divorce is financial.
00:04:10.280 Yeah, because you're financially out.
00:04:10.980 And actually, one out of six divorces, women are spiteful and wreck men. 1.00
00:04:15.080 In court.
00:04:16.280 What does that mean?
00:04:17.460 Financially wrecked.
00:04:18.120 That means they don't give them access to the children and they also financially ruin
00:04:21.360 them.
00:04:21.680 One out of every six divorces.
00:04:23.440 Yeah, but most men don't.
00:04:24.440 It's only like 20% of men try to get access to their children.
00:04:28.140 Why?
00:04:28.640 I don't know.
00:04:29.260 Why?
00:04:29.900 Because they feel like it's not a fair fight.
00:04:31.220 So they just don't bother.
00:04:32.280 But why would you not fight?
00:04:33.380 If I had lost control.
00:04:34.400 I don't have children.
00:04:35.120 But if I lost my children, I would fight for them.
00:04:37.400 I wouldn't be like 80% of them.
00:04:38.860 I'll tell you.
00:04:39.500 I'll tell you.
00:04:40.220 I'll tell you why they don't fight.
00:04:41.560 So I interviewed, and I'm doing a documentary on this.
00:04:44.200 Okay.
00:04:44.580 So I actually have spoken.
00:04:45.960 Like, I just did one today.
00:04:47.060 Um, so basically what a girl can do is she can put, it's a restraining order. 1.00
00:04:53.600 I forgot what you, you guys, a non-molestation order.
00:04:56.020 Yeah, non-mol.
00:04:56.660 So, so one call, right?
00:04:58.420 She can put in a non-molestation order and say he abused her. 1.00
00:05:01.400 And by the way, she's incentivized to say this.
00:05:03.340 So she gets free housing if she says that he abused her and free, um, lawyers. 0.61
00:05:08.660 So one call, he's out of his house because he can't stay in the house.
00:05:11.720 He, he still has to pay the mortgage on.
00:05:13.580 And now he doesn't get a court date for a year.
00:05:15.700 So it takes him a year, six months to a year to even see his kid that she's not letting
00:05:20.060 him see.
00:05:20.860 And he can't even legally go and try to see the kid.
00:05:23.960 Okay.
00:05:24.760 Then if he wants to, so she gets free lawyers. 0.68
00:05:27.580 And by the way, these women's shelters, they know exactly what to say.
00:05:30.820 So he cannot get access to the kids.
00:05:32.920 Okay.
00:05:33.100 Um, and so on top of that, and this is, this women can do this too, or men can do this too, 1.00
00:05:39.000 but they're not typically the first ones who file.
00:05:40.720 Women file 80% of the time, 90% of their college educated. 0.87
00:05:43.460 So on top of that, if he wants to fight in court, he has to spend 20 to $30,000 or pounds
00:05:49.620 here.
00:05:50.360 Would your children not be worth 20?
00:05:51.520 Okay.
00:05:51.860 Okay.
00:05:52.180 Okay.
00:05:52.360 I'll get to it.
00:05:53.260 I'll get, I'll get to it.
00:05:54.260 So the average guy makes what?
00:05:55.560 35,000 pounds.
00:05:57.020 So now he's in all this debt trying to get his kids.
00:06:00.000 Okay.
00:06:00.680 So he goes to court and there's only a 10% chance of him winning 10% of the time.
00:06:05.840 So now he's just, and on top of that, he's still paying the mortgage on his house.
00:06:09.600 And on top of that, he, he's now on child support.
00:06:12.840 So he's probably paying like three, 400 bucks a month on top of maybe a $1,500 a month mortgage.
00:06:19.280 So that's almost two grand.
00:06:21.040 Okay.
00:06:21.400 He's paying a month and then he's got the court fees.
00:06:23.880 This is where a lot of men kill themselves because they can't see their kids.
00:06:27.740 There's only a 10% chance they'll get primary custody.
00:06:30.020 He could go through the whole thing and probably, and if he's lucky, he gets six days a month with his kid and she can do it all over again with one call.
00:06:39.940 But if you take that back to the beginning, to get a non-mol in the first place, you need probable cause that he was violent. 0.76
00:06:45.460 No, you don't.
00:06:46.460 To get a non-mol? 0.89
00:06:47.120 No, you don't.
00:06:48.260 What do you need?
00:06:49.180 You don't need any evidence.
00:06:50.760 I know a girl that got free housing and there was no man that did anything.
00:06:55.220 Like she didn't have a boyfriend. 0.97
00:06:56.520 That's ridiculous.
00:06:57.120 And she just said that you don't need any evidence or proof because the differences in family court, it's not based off of evidence. 0.53
00:07:03.320 It's based off of a balance of probabilities.
00:07:05.700 And typically when women cry and say they were abused, the judge is just going to believe her. 1.00
00:07:09.980 Because again, in family court, you don't need evidence where in criminal court, you do.
00:07:14.240 So the question is, why aren't these women in criminal court? 1.00
00:07:17.200 Now, what percent of cases did the women actually in the women's shelters, what percent of cases did the women actually file criminal court? 0.99
00:07:25.400 Where like a man actually got a jury, a trial, all of that, what percent of cases do you think there is?
00:07:30.000 Well, clearly, if that system is allowing them to lie, then they won't bother going for criminal.
00:07:35.680 Right.
00:07:35.980 But I'm saying so, like if someone punches you in the face, most likely you're going to go to court, right?
00:07:40.660 Yeah.
00:07:41.220 Right?
00:07:41.480 You would think, right?
00:07:42.240 So what percent out of 10 women in these women's shelters, what percent of them actually went to criminal court?
00:07:48.880 Maybe like five.
00:07:50.100 I think it's like lower.
00:07:50.700 It would be under one.
00:07:51.520 Yeah, one.
00:07:52.300 Under one.
00:07:52.880 It's higher than you say.
00:07:54.020 It's like 15 to 20%.
00:07:55.480 So 80% of cases, there's no evidence.
00:07:58.180 And with one phone call, she takes away his kids and financially ruins him. 0.98
00:08:02.140 And now he's saying on top of the child support he's paying, on top of the restraining order, on top of all of these fees, on top of arguing with the mother for a year, he needs to fight for his kids and pay 20 to 30,000 pounds for a 10% outcome.
00:08:16.620 Do you know what?
00:08:17.360 If I was a guy, I wouldn't do it.
00:08:19.260 Why would I?
00:08:19.640 I think there's men that would go to the ends of the earth for their children, but I think there's a lot of men that don't.
00:08:25.360 I think that's easy to say in a place of privilege, but if you're making, at this point, most of the men are homeless.
00:08:31.720 And on top of that, their entire community thinks they're an abuser with no evidence.
00:08:36.840 But are they homeless though?
00:08:37.580 Because you've said two things, like the woman's in the house and he's paying the mortgage or is she in a woman's shelter?
00:08:41.780 Which one?
00:08:42.520 No, no, they go, sorry, they go to the women's, it's not women's shelter. 0.93
00:08:47.740 It's like a women's charity to help refuge. 1.00
00:08:51.600 There's a name for it, but it's like, it's a women's group basically.
00:08:54.880 Yeah.
00:08:55.380 And so she's in the house, he's officially homeless and now he's paying two grand a month.
00:08:59.980 And one guy I interviewed, it was actually the saddest interview.
00:09:02.460 He had three kids and he was a mile away and he couldn't see them.
00:09:07.580 He was a mile away from them.
00:09:09.060 And he, this man was fighting, but he lost his job because he worked in electricity.
00:09:12.360 And imagine if you're homeless and you can't see your kids and now like mentally, how are you going to do that?
00:09:20.600 Yeah.
00:09:21.260 And so it's like, it's like we have this narrative and a lot of like feminists honestly push this narrative where it's like men need to be more, men need to do more.
00:09:27.700 Why?
00:09:28.680 When the systems are against them.
00:09:30.280 And he could go through all of that, not see his kid for a year.
00:09:32.860 One more phone call, she can just do it again and sign him up for another year. 0.73
00:09:36.080 And you know, I think, how long is he expected to do that?
00:09:39.680 How long is he expected to financially ruin himself?
00:09:42.700 The average guy makes $35,000 a year.
00:09:44.380 That costs more than $30,000.
00:09:45.680 What is he supposed to do?
00:09:46.900 He doesn't have the money.
00:09:48.200 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:09:51.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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