Radical Debate on Who a Good Woman Is
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about why there are not enough good women in society and how to find them. We also talk about how to become a better woman and what it takes to be a good woman in today's society.
Transcript
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today um we're gonna talk about where have all the good women gone so one thing i always hear
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is where have all the good men gone right in society um however i just started looking up
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some stats okay one in three women have an std one in three women have had an abortion 38 of
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kids are born into single parent homes the average age of first child is 26 which is before the
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average age of first marriage which is 30. 45 of marriages end in divorce the average number of
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partners for a woman is between four and eight and when women get below above five partners their
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chance of a happy marriage goes from 80 to 20 depends on the study plus or minus 10 percent
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um and if men get pick the wrong woman they can be financially ruined and their kids can be taken
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from them and on top of that 70 of women um 60 70 of women are overweight in the u.s
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um so um the question is how does a guy identify a good woman and what percent of women do you think
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are good women really good question how does a guy identify a good woman i think mostly it's looks but
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that's not how they do it but i think it's about it's about a vibe actually it's about an energy and
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it's about respect if a woman you know can really show this man that she respects him okay but in the
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beginning that's challenging because you know you're on a first date i think the first indication is
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usually looks what was the second question bro what percent of women do you think are good women
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oh in this day and age yes i think women are so confused it's really hard to say i would say
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good woman what do you mean by that what i mean by that i think a good woman is probably less than 10
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percent these days okay i think a good woman is a healed woman so i feel like the reason why there's not
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much good women out there is because no one really knows how to heal and recover from their past
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relationships and traumas and so they bring those good women not be like broken to begin with yeah
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100 yeah yeah yeah and so i feel like they found ways to heal and they've like taken time out to
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isolate themselves and i feel like maybe then they will be able to move forward and find the right
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partner for the right reasons and i feel like um why the percentage may be so low is because no one's
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really willing to do the hard dark shadow work what do you mean shadow because whenever i hear
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like this stuff no offense like the shadow work the healing i always hear like nothing yeah like never
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like real concrete steps of like so if you're a woman you're trying to improve what do you what do you do
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so you're trying to like your ego you know the dark side of you decide that you don't show anyone but
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it can come out so you are trying to like kind of tame that and work on your insecurities and all the
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things that you don't want people to see okay and so you can how do you how do you work on them so i
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mean for me personally i write down i journal stuff so i write things down my fears or things i don't
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like about myself or that i want to change or that i feel i'm i'm um expression maybe in the wrong way
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and so i try and like find ways to fix that and just you know work so how are you like held you know
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like if i want to lose weight you go to a personal trainer and they say like good bad like how do you
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hold yourself accountable oh doing doing research finding a routine making sure that you're
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consistently keeping up with things and maintaining that process yeah this just kind of sounds like
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nothing to me yeah okay i'm just i'm sorry it's real no no no but like when i whenever i hear girls
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like talk about this it just sounds like okay i write in my journal um i and i google things online
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and i try to be better but there's no like accountability like anyone keeping you in check
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to like show that you are getting better i think most people um don't have anyone to keep them in
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check when there's a will there's a way if you really want to change then you will make sure that
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you get that done like so so so if you're talking to a guy and he says like okay you you said i was
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broken before i'm healed now like what steps would you show him that i am now healed um you're able to
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be more compassionate and less judgmental and more open and vulnerable okay so how could you prove that
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you are just by being just by being that i mean i feel like time will tell okay you know okay because
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like i was just thinking like if you want to concrete steps it's like married mentors uh maybe a male
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therapist like that sort of thing i just never hear whenever i hear women's self-improvement it's always
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like be more confident write in a journal and google things no fact like respectfully so i just i just don't
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understand but you know what's crazy i've tried personally i've tried therapy and i and the first
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time i tried it i walked out in an anger and rage that i was like human and the second time i told
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her look it's not gonna work i don't think you can fix my problems you know i agree with you i've been
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to therapists before and i just thought therapy was like stupid for the most part and now i'm in
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school for psychology and i see the women that are therapists and they're nuts i would not go to
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therapy yeah i feel like they don't care they're just getting paid to do what they need to do they
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don't give a fuck so yeah yeah but but i do think there are some male therapists that are helpful
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like male um what do you think about that um i've never had a male therapist and i wouldn't go to
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a male therapist because i need to i need to connect with a woman that's like do you know i mean like
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women no that's broken like me not necessarily but i feel like women connect easier no i think i think
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women look to comfort and then look to solve problems and that's why i don't think therapy works
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when they're women most of the time there's exceptions because like men like women are just going to
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comfort you they're going to tell you what you want to hear where men will tell you how to fix it
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but the problem is like women we never want to fix it like actually fix it that's interesting yeah
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i had a male therapist actually or the i had a therapist for eight years i'm not in therapy
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anymore but the first four years it was a woman and the last four years a man and i'm not in therapy
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anymore and i'm like i'm good now but that's because it was a man not a woman because when i was with
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a woman they would just sit there and soak in all my issues and all the problems and there was
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never a solve or a solution no one was trying to help me and then the trauma what's your like and
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they call everything trauma everything you know everything abuse or trauma i'm like what the what
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do you mean you know i don't believe in trauma i don't believe in trauma either it's a bunch of bs
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it's just so that psychologists can make money off yeah well i do i do believe in like war trauma
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like from war what do you mean like i think if a guy goes to war and see some like sees things
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that's real trauma but the way we use it today my ex-boyfriend cheated on me my it's just everything's
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everything but can i say something don't you think there's something called unhealed baggage that we
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be carrying with us because we haven't overcome how we felt in the last relationship you should just
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get over it okay yeah yeah i think that we should quit whining our great grandmothers had to deal with
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like they used to have plagues and getting cheated on like this is just the example i'm using but most
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of modern day problems are really nothing compared to like 100 200 years ago you could get the plague
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and like die you know that'd be traumatic being afraid you know and you're right you know what
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because i feel like personally i've been through so much i haven't had real therapy and i'm i'm strong
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i'm i'm still going you know what i mean i don't really it's not affecting me maybe it is in a way
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but it's not in intervening in my life yeah strong strongly the reveling in the story is what a lot
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of the women therapists were using penelope's my daughter and they were um you know really listening
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to your story and and and giving a lot of emphasis to it like you were really overweight and the
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therapists were like no no don't don't talk about it don't don't don't try to help her lose weight
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and i'm like what do you mean like we've got to fix this problem like what's the plan it was so
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frustrating oh so they they wouldn't try to solve like how big were you i was 300 pounds shut up i
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was 300 pounds you look great can we get us how did how did your life change from going from 300
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pounds to i don't know what you are now but clearly not so i lost 130 pounds actually wow and you're
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tall too yes what are you six two no five nine and a half oh shit you look you look tall as heck
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okay um but basically i was you know i think part of the problem was because i was in therapy for so
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long and i nobody told me in therapy that there was anything wrong with me and i had depression i
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had anxiety i had suicidal thoughts and i was not i didn't have a good relationship with my father at
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the time and nobody was saying oh you need to lose the weight your life will be better if you just do
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that nobody they tried to give me medication they tried to give me pills they tried to put me in more
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therapy and it wasn't until one day i looked in the mirror and i'm like i don't want to be like this
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anymore i don't want to feel like this anymore and to be honest the body positivity movement
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crushed my soul and told me oh you should be you know you're beautiful no matter what size you are
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you're beautiful no matter you know how much you weigh you're beautiful no matter what you eat you
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can eat anything you want and you're gorgeous go girl and i and i thought it was okay wow i thought it
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was good because no one said anything and i could be sitting here if 300 pounds or enough i didn't make
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the decision to say penelope you need to get your butt off the couch and work out fix your diet fix
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your mental health fix everything and now i'm perfectly fine no meds just naturally all natural
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what do you do you think that contributes to 70 of women being overweight in the u.s completely
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i completely think that yeah go ahead no i just think that i think that the fact that people are
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obese and that they make all these excuses for oh i'm obese because of this i'm obese because you can
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lose weight no matter what anyone can lose weight it's just about finding the right way to do it and what
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do you think of the women that say we need like representation and magazines we need fat chicks
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on the cover victoria's secret fashion show it repulses me so it repulses me to see that because
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you've been there it does because i've been there and not only that but you are showing thousands and
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millions of women in the world that it is one okay to be unhealthy two okay to be slowly killing yourself
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and three okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out i was a plus size model like
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in the 90s you were a plus size model in the 90s yeah is there anything wrong with a little plus
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size girl yeah because what about the people that actually what about the people that actually can't
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lose weight physically they will never wait that's not a thing but but what about people that actually
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but they mentally can't so for the rest of their life they're going to be that same size they need some
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they need some empowerment because otherwise they could you know commit suicide or something
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do you go to do you go to a basketball game and look to see like an nba game or what do you guys
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have it's football right football here you do a football game here and you try to see average
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football players average like below average football players play football here when you go to a
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professional game do we see them no do you do you go there to see that oh well no so then why do
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on the cover of magazines which is supposed to be the epitome of beauty do we have below average women on it
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right like why like why is that why do we need that i feel i feel ashamed i don't like it i don't
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want to see it i think you're right about the fact that they're doing it to because you know if you
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want to talk about the health system and the way the world's set up they don't want people to come
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out of a bce right so they're going to make it look like it's okay they don't want you to so so why
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wouldn't we have healthy people on the front of mag i'm not saying like because they don't want that
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yeah yeah but you you said we need that earlier no but i was saying that for the people that don't that
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actually fit i think in my head i'm thinking for the people that actually because a person that
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actually cannot overcome obesity and for the rest of their life till the age of 60 70 they're still
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going to be overweight those people are probably feeling yes like they're they're feeling okay
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they're empowered would you rather be empowered than commit suicide because people think look at
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you you're fat but when you're eat when you're overeating you're slowly committing suicide
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my mother did it wow she died like her cause of death was severe obesity and then when my daughter
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started gaining the weight i was freaking out right and so that's why we're on a mission
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but don't you think there's a certain level though obviously there's obesity and there's because i feel
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like the modeling world has always promoted unhealthy unhealthiness and that makes sense even the slim
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women slimming women was like six and like very smooth you know what i'm saying that would look like they
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weren't eating i don't think so if you look at i always hear that but i like i look at marilyn monroe
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she was healthy yeah but they're talking about one person there's a lot of a lot of women in the
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modeling world was very slim and they wouldn't eat or they wouldn't do something just to fit in the
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certain category do you get what i'm saying i mean there was some but i just maybe for like early 2000s
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but i think if you look at the last like 100 years i think most women on the covers were just
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objectively beautiful what's the average weight you would say uh let's see i don't know off the top of my head
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i mean as a ford model the the girls who were in straight size modeling they were size four and
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that's because the samples are made in a size four and so is your four different from uk four oh yeah
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it is a bit yeah like more like a two i think it'd be more like a two and two hey the average the
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average woman she's gone she's okay the average woman is five four i'm in america and i can do uk in a
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second yeah five four 20 years old and weighs 170 pounds what's that in stone please okay okay
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but that's overweight i would say that that average that she just quoted would be 12 stone 12 12.14 okay
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because i would think that average is between eight to 12. i think if you're in a good in shape 12
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there's good in shape 12 women anything above that then we're talking obesity you know what i'm saying
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i mean it's bmi yeah to be honest sorry uh to be honest it depends i think like around 10 years ago
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it used to be way different i think now they kind of raised it you know yeah yeah i think 10 years ago
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i went i don't know why it was like 65 kilos i don't know what that is sorry in in stones it must
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be like 165 in um in america 2.2 to 1. yeah and they would already say oh you should try to lose weight
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you know for your height whatever now if you look at that they're like yeah you're perfect you can be a
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model yeah so it really changed in the last decade i would say really it did so what about around 10 years
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ago was there plus size models is that a new thing i'll be honest not really where on america's next
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top model i mean it wasn't that as common though but i definitely i i know i used to watch tyra banks
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anyone yeah yeah anyone there yeah but they weren't like this they weren't like the the like super yeah
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yeah like you see today they're just kind of like they're like tens big boned uh 10's all right
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10's not big no 10's not big at all 12 12 like this is what i'm saying for the modeling world that's
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quite big yeah but again it's like when you go to an nba game i want to see good basketball players
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like it's supposed to be the epitome of beauty yeah but but now we're rewarding average like i don't
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want to see average chicks like faces on the cover of magazine i don't want to see average bodies
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i hear that but if she's a good i'm not saying plus plus but she's a good size 12 with good curbs
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in that man don't want to see that we don't really want to just see slim girls all the time i'll be
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honest i believe that i believe that some men like that i really do it's typically a lot of us to be
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honest it's typically broke men because if you look at rich men yeah yeah if you look at like it's so cap
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like i'm just i don't like liars no offense but it's like like when you see rich men what do they have on
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their arms but the only reason why they have slim women is because the slim women are in the higher
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echelons of places where the other women no not in beauty no let's not talk about beauty only i'm
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talking about venues certain venues certain places that they get to go to certain women can't get to
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go there okay you get what i'm saying leonardo dicaprio if he wanted a big chick he couldn't find one no he
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can find one but i'm saying in certain the plate the venue the events no the events he goes from
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instagram come on like they can get any chick they want yeah they can but but i do you think leonardo
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just got in in bear girls dms just hollering girls in the dms i think if he wants i think he'll i think
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he'll pick like he hollered at that one chick uh the hadid who's that oh yeah yeah hello gg had
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do you know oh gg the model yeah i don't know what i say it's like if you look at the richest
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most successful man they they typically have slim women i'm saying if you're looking at the richest
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parts of events and venues mayfair whatever and in america manhattan whatever if you go to the upper
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echelons of places they've got to be you know what i'm saying do you really think that the only reason
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they're with slim beautiful women is because of the events they go no but i'm saying because of the
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environment that they're in okay i think that was because that that is society's ideal of a beautiful
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woman that's why and so i feel like the plus model came in when people started complaining that there
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wasn't a selection of variety of different sizes why why is it that all around the world they like
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young beautiful slim women everywhere even in different societies with completely different
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cultures please please do not bring out this one fringent tribe in africa everyone brings up but
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it's like they're it's such a small percentage of the world well africa there's something no
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they're trying they bring up some tribe in africa assist that that likes the fat women but it's a
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very very i've done this conversation but if you think i hear that but if you think about it's the
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motherland no i'm not being but i'm i mean coming out you know deep down you know that men like slim
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women in general i'm gonna be honest i don't think they do i'm gonna be honest i don't like and i'm
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i'm gonna say this coming from being a black man okay if i'm talking about being a black man and
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from a black perspective of i feel like majority of us man like thicker women okay well and and
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and even jordan no no no but you keep talking about celebrity men that are going to be around
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higher women that certain women i'm from a one percent family my dad my dad my dad is a top one
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percent earner i grew up around in a wealthy neighborhood i'm telling you they do not put fat
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chicks on their arms in high class in high class society and celebrities want people with the
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option to not have a fat chick on their arm do not all right but what even like i was having a
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conversation the other day with with a woman and she was a slim woman she's from america as well so
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american um i think like atlanta or emma and she said when she was slim she was only getting approached
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by white men okay she put she put on a lot of weight no not a lot of weight but she's ticked got body
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whatever and blah blah blah now she's getting approached by a lot of black men which is what
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do you get what i'm saying but i'm saying if you if you look at it on on the democrats thing which
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which successful black men that we know are dating are we only going to talk about successful men yeah
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because those are the men with options broke men don't have as many options as rich men definitely
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have options they do not have as many options as rich men so if you look at the men with the most
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options to look okay so if we want to see what women want we got to look at the women with the most
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option who do the most beautiful the youngest most fertile women pick if we want to look at men what
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do men like we have to look at the men with the most options because it's not really fair to say
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oh i like fat chicks if i make you know ten dollars an hour at taco bell right like you can't you don't
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get no i get that but obviously if you're going if you're talking about celebrities celebrities are guided
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no i didn't but i didn't just say celebrities i'm i'm from i'm my dad is in like he's a top one
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percent earner i grew up with 10 siblings in a 10 bedroom mansion in a community where many people
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made that amount of money yeah so so i've been around a successful wealthy men and they don't
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put fat chicks sometimes they they do get fat later but they don't appreciate that you know what i mean
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so yeah but i hear what you're saying what i'm saying the reason these men obviously going to go for
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similar because they're around that's what you being in the top one percent and being in in this
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neighborhood okay it allows you to see different things you get like i mean if you do no but if
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you do have money obviously if you do have money a lot of people with money are fit in the gym they
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do it because they have more time on their hands to do other things you get on saying no they have
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less time i guarantee you you think they have less time people absolutely have less time totally
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no i don't know about that you know no i could tell you a hundred percent but also i think the reason
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that a lot of women and are slimmer and why do you think more successful men want women who are
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slimmer it's because it's healthier for them like their risk for getting you know diseases at an
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older age their risk for having pregnancy risks are much lower if they're not overweight so why would
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a man choose a woman if he wants to marry them if they're going to die at 50 if they're going to die
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at 70 if they're going to have their children's going to have i'd be at risk for birth risks i mean
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i would never want that and i don't think i don't think men want that like when men are looking for
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wives they're not looking for children like women who are going to have risks and we even saw how
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for you how your bad habit passed on to her and that's like if you have a bad habit yourself you
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will pass it on to your kids and then it's another problem that your kids like because i had the same
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my mom used to feed me like pop tarts and stuff when i was a kid and i and my mom was pretty big and
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then she ended up like losing all the weight um and she told me like she literally did it for my dad
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um and um yeah i have a sugar addiction to this day you know what i mean so it's like bad habits
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pass from like the parents to the kids exactly and sugar is more addictive than cocaine yeah
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i do miss pop tarts they make healthy pop tarts but they're really not healthy they're still junk
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food i don't like that i like the cinnamon ones i went in the complete opposite direction like total
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neurosis i got my bachelor's and master's degree in nutrition i helped thousands of people lose
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weight regain their health and it was almost like her rebellion so her choice to gain autonomy
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through overeating and ill health was almost you know well it was just so so crazy for me because
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i was so i thought you said you were overweight as a kid i was but as an adult so you were super what
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were you doing my whole life until i was like 15 i was like rebelling against her i was like i'm gonna
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eat all the junk food so i'd go to my friend's house and stuff my face with pizza and then their moms would
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call her and be like oh my gosh is your daughter okay she's eaten like a box of pizza and like my
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whole box of goldfish wow and i would just do that and then i'd come home and i would never like her
00:22:13.840
cooking even though she's the best cook i know but like i wouldn't i just rebelled my whole life
00:22:18.560
yeah terrible uh james says there's a difference between fit and thick men want fit women um puffy i'm
00:22:26.000
in las vegas and i see plenty of women from africa i am black this is cap we like thin women
00:22:30.960
uh and then i think there was one more i'm just going to do really quick uh lady in the red is
00:22:36.400
telling the truth i've lost 67 pounds my life is better off these plus size influencers are lying
00:22:41.120
to people example lizzo yeah what do you think of lizzo so i actually recently did a video on this um
00:22:46.160
i sub it a podcast but basically lizzo is portraying something that is terrible for young women and then
00:22:52.560
you have thousands of young women saying oh my gosh this is so beautiful everyone should be like
00:22:57.280
lizzo and then you have all the fat people looking at lizzo feeding off of her positivity her body
00:23:03.040
positivity and why does she lead with it too like because her brand like no people say yeah nobody
00:23:09.040
would talk when adele was overweight nobody really spoke about her weight because she didn't lead with
00:23:13.760
it no you know they did speak about it when she lost the weight they were like oh we can't believe
00:23:18.240
you lost the weight we hate you now like we don't like you like you did this for for social media and
00:23:22.000
it's like what yeah what about doing this to save her life why aren't more people supporting women
00:23:27.360
losing weight that's what real body positivity because we know the whole world is lazy the
00:23:31.840
majority of people so that it fits well also the food industry benefits the food industry and the
00:23:36.640
medical industry you have more overweight people because then you have more surgeries then you have
00:23:40.480
more medications being handed out then you have more depression anxiety suicide i mean the divorce rates
00:23:45.280
you know it's right it's insane right no i mean honestly like one time i was at work and these
00:23:51.520
guys were like like clowning on women over 200 pounds or like i would never date but they didn't
00:23:55.840
know i was because i like i don't look like i didn't look like i was over 200 and literally i ended up like
00:24:02.240
losing a bunch of weight because i was so embarrassed and i and that it was the best thing that ever
00:24:07.120
happened to me i ran a marathon because i was like i'm done i'm done with this it's like the quickest way to
00:24:11.360
lose weight run a marathon yeah or and i got addicted to exercise too like i remember being in
00:24:15.600
that place i went to the doctor's office actually and that's when i started i they were like your
00:24:20.080
triglycerides are up your your risk heart disease type 2 diabetes and you know if you don't start now
00:24:26.080
you are gonna die very like slowly but soon and i was terrified i was like what just from being fat
00:24:32.800
i was how long did they say you had i'm just curious no they weren't like you're gonna die
00:24:41.920
tomorrow but they were like no i'm curious like how long do 300 pound people live i don't know do
00:24:46.400
you know i don't know the stats on that actually no but they they definitely have a higher risk of
00:24:51.040
cardiovascular disease which is a number one killer they have a higher risk of cancer they definitely
00:24:56.080
will develop diabetes type 2 and other diseases that are 100 preventable there was that influencer that
00:25:01.040
just like dropped dead the other day because she was obese and like she would literally always be
00:25:05.040
eating and doing mukbangs then she died i'm not surprised why do you think she died everyone you
00:25:10.160
know and then they say like when obese people go to the doctor and they say to lose weight that
00:25:15.520
they're like not listening to them but i'm like well i mean i'm not a doctor but you might want to like
00:25:21.840
watch for you but even doctors are lying to people now saying oh it's okay to eat like cheeseburger
00:25:26.720
they can't weigh you they can't weigh you either even that and it's like you guys why are you lying
00:25:31.040
to these people who actually some some people who actually want to be helped are being lied to yeah
00:25:35.440
oh just do the keto diet oh just do the paleo diet it'll be fine that's not a long-term solution that's
00:25:39.920
not a lifestyle right doctors aren't really even trained in nutrition they don't know how to help and
00:25:45.280
the business model isn't set up for them to support their their their patients so it's the whole model is
00:25:51.600
flawed and we really need to get smart and get responsible and be clear about what we're putting
00:25:56.880
in our thoughts in our minds and in our in our mouths literally uh they said as an african woman
00:26:03.440
zimbabwean uh we are curvy there's a big difference between being curvy and overweight you can be thin
00:26:09.360
and curvy um and just big big uh and then there's another one that was from interracial marriages or
00:26:16.880
relationships uh for black men community we value bigger women because they make for better sex
00:26:22.720
partners uh the marriage is different requirements for it than sex my thin women
00:26:29.360
or my thin woman felt like she was too pretty to uh fulfill my sexual requirements um