JustPearlyThings - May 03, 2023


@RealFemSapien DESTROYS Gen X Moms

Topics
ambition
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Gen Z Gen Z. Valuetame Allie Pearl Coco
Male Only Fans Model Makes Himself Look Stupid Pearl Gets Physically Attacked By A Drunk Feminist

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

228.45

Word count

2,232

Sentence count

240

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Toxicity

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend, Ali, to discuss how Gen X's and Gen Y's set their daughters up to be a good wife and mother. We talk about the lack of support from their parents and how they set up their daughters for a good marriage. We also talk about fear and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 It's probably still something that should be addressed because women wouldn't feel like they were just a housewife if they married the wholesome Chad that they wanted in the first place. 1.00
00:00:08.440 And that's where my channel comes in because women get a lot of bad dating advice. 1.00
00:00:12.520 And it's like dating advice that teaches you how to date, but it doesn't teach you how to hopefully get married and stay married.
00:00:18.100 That's it.
00:00:18.580 All they can do is get you a date.
00:00:19.840 Well, not every guy that takes you out for a meal is looking to commit.
00:00:23.240 And that's a big problem that I see.
00:00:24.720 I think millennial and Gen Z women were really left behind by Gen X mothers. 1.00
00:00:27.900 I got a bone to pick with them.
00:00:29.280 With Gen X mothers? 1.00
00:00:30.540 Yeah, they're like the Kraft Mac and Cheese generation. 1.00
00:00:32.840 They suck. 1.00
00:00:33.480 They did not set their daughters up well. 1.00
00:00:35.160 Go deeper on that.
00:00:36.400 How do you mean?
00:00:37.240 Well, you can just tell.
00:00:39.020 So it started with the baby boomer generation and then I want to say the Gen X.
00:00:42.580 But then baby boomers were rebellious against the silent generation. 0.99
00:00:45.840 They thought they were old-fashioned.
00:00:46.820 They thought they were too set in their ways with traditional models.
00:00:49.220 That's the Woodstock generation, the baby boomers. 0.98
00:00:51.220 Exactly.
00:00:51.720 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:52.300 And so you get like these Gen X mothers. 0.95
00:00:54.300 They are so narcissistic.
00:00:56.040 And they think that you, the daughter, you're just going to find a man.
00:00:59.480 I lived in my house with my mother for 19 years.
00:01:02.040 And not once did the conversation come up.
00:01:03.700 You know, what is a good wife? 1.00
00:01:04.860 What is a good husband?
00:01:05.820 How do you find one?
00:01:06.500 And I started asking my other girlfriends when I had like an epiphany.
00:01:10.180 I think I was 25.
00:01:11.380 I started asking them like, did your mother ever talk to you about this?
00:01:14.140 And most of them are telling me no, that it wasn't a conversation.
00:01:16.840 So that's kind of how I've been able to figure out that like, yeah, Gen X mothers,
00:01:20.160 y'all did us dirty for sure. 0.83
00:01:21.980 A word that is popping into my head is the concept of fear.
00:01:26.100 Yes.
00:01:26.360 Like, you're fearful that, because you said that you were a stay-at-home girlfriend or whatever.
00:01:31.160 No, no, I never said that.
00:01:32.340 No.
00:01:32.560 You said you didn't do, you said you were a girlfriend and didn't do anything.
00:01:35.540 That's exactly what you said.
00:01:37.360 I never said that I was a girlfriend.
00:01:38.240 What did you say?
00:01:38.760 No, I said at some point in my life, I was dating somebody and I was his girlfriend.
00:01:42.720 Right.
00:01:43.100 But I did, I still worked.
00:01:45.000 Okay.
00:01:45.360 Well, I thought your job was to be your fault.
00:01:46.820 No, I said no.
00:01:47.940 But part of what I'm understanding, you tell me if I'm crazy here, if I'm spot on,
00:01:53.760 is the fear that if you don't have a career, the fear of, well, my man could leave me,
00:02:00.100 or I don't have a fallback plan.
00:02:02.780 And it seems like, and rightfully so, you're fearful of that, so you want to have your own career.
00:02:07.840 Whereas Ali is like, yeah, I get it.
00:02:09.920 That is a fear, but I'm not going to let that get in the way of me being a good wife
00:02:15.560 and being kind of more submissive.
00:02:17.520 Do I have that right or am I going crazy here?
00:02:19.420 I'm not building my career because I'm scared that my boyfriend's going to leave me.
00:02:23.400 Okay.
00:02:23.760 So why are you building your career?
00:02:24.800 Because I want to be successful and I want to pursue my dreams.
00:02:27.480 And my dream is to be a media person.
00:02:29.940 So let me ask, so I'll get back to that.
00:02:32.740 Now, is fear, did I use this word correctly?
00:02:34.800 Is that a, do you think women have this fear? 0.92
00:02:36.620 Yeah, but it's a made up fear.
00:02:38.500 It's a boogeyman fear.
00:02:39.820 Family courts are going to favor women astronomically. 1.00
00:02:43.680 And then I've had women come out and they're like, well, I got divorced and I didn't get anything.
00:02:47.940 My first question is who filed?
00:02:49.580 So you're mad that you decided to leave him and then you couldn't get his money?
00:02:52.640 Like, I'm sorry, I don't feel bad for you.
00:02:54.420 If it was that, if that, if those resources were that important to you, you could have worked it out.
00:02:58.420 And that's not to speak on relationships where there's DV involved.
00:03:01.880 Okay.
00:03:02.000 Like everybody knows that's wrong.
00:03:03.100 Again, a boogeyman concept, but.
00:03:04.980 What did you say, DV?
00:03:06.180 Domestic violence.
00:03:07.100 Oh, gotcha.
00:03:07.580 Right.
00:03:07.860 I'm trying to, algorithm.
00:03:09.220 Yeah, I didn't realize that was a thing.
00:03:10.340 Okay, DV.
00:03:10.660 Well, and you can always just get a job after you get divorced.
00:03:13.880 Right.
00:03:14.000 Like, it's not like you're banned from working just because you're a little bit older.
00:03:17.220 Like, I built this YouTube channel.
00:03:18.960 Like, I started a show three months ago and I got 30,000 subscribers this month.
00:03:23.360 Boom.
00:03:23.760 How'd that happen?
00:03:24.700 But you work hard.
00:03:25.700 And I could do that at 45, too.
00:03:28.800 So, I don't know why.
00:03:30.720 Like, if you get divorced, you could still get a job.
00:03:33.300 Let me pose a question to you, ladies. 0.74
00:03:34.740 Let's say you don't get married.
00:03:35.880 Let's just say, and you're 40 years old and you've got an amazing career.
00:03:40.380 Amazing career.
00:03:41.580 But you never got married.
00:03:42.760 Would that be disappointing to you?
00:03:45.180 I would be disappointed.
00:03:46.060 For me, marriage is not that important anymore.
00:03:49.700 I want to have a partner and I want to be with somebody.
00:03:51.620 I would like to get married and get engaged and, you know, build this life with someone.
00:03:57.120 Okay.
00:03:57.560 But that's not something that, that's my, like, sole purpose in life.
00:04:02.240 So, if you were 40.
00:04:03.480 Yeah.
00:04:03.920 Didn't ever got married.
00:04:05.520 No kids.
00:04:05.960 I'm just hypothetical.
00:04:07.120 No kids.
00:04:07.640 But you had a good career.
00:04:08.700 I would like to have kids.
00:04:09.100 Would that be enough to satisfy you?
00:04:10.900 I would, I always wanted to be a mother.
00:04:12.700 So, I want to be a mom before I'm 40.
00:04:16.120 Yeah.
00:04:16.380 Because of, like, all the, you know.
00:04:17.320 Of course.
00:04:17.860 No, that's why I pose it that way.
00:04:19.340 So, I would definitely want to be a mother.
00:04:20.920 And I would be disappointed if I'm not a mother by 40.
00:04:23.400 How about you, Allie?
00:04:24.140 If you never got married and you're still working on your career, let's say you're an influencer,
00:04:27.900 but you're still single, would that be a disappointment?
00:04:30.860 That would absolutely be a disappointment.
00:04:32.620 That's not how I want my life going down at all.
00:04:35.340 And, you know, there's something to be said about if you don't have babies, your DNA doesn't go on.
00:04:41.660 And you're really just kind of like, well, you know, life is pointless.
00:04:44.500 I think kids give women purpose. 0.99
00:04:47.260 And I think that we lie to women when we tell them that that's not true, that your job is going to fulfill you. 1.00
00:04:51.560 It's not the same thing as watching a tiny human grow, look up at you, and learn.
00:04:56.540 But, you know, I've noticed sometimes that women will say that they want kids, but they won't say that they want a specific man's kids. 0.96
00:05:03.140 And I think that's an important distinction.
00:05:05.400 How do you mean?
00:05:06.120 What's the distinction there?
00:05:07.020 So, okay, for people that follow my content, they're pretty familiar that I had a miscarriage earlier this year.
00:05:12.240 I ended up going to Facebook support groups, because I don't know who else to talk to about that stuff.
00:05:16.180 I ended up going there, and I found two very different schools of thought.
00:05:19.840 There are women that were married and in relationships where they wanted to have children, but it didn't work out. 1.00
00:05:24.580 But then there were other women that were grieving, but they're just looking for a guy to get the job done. 0.99
00:05:29.720 Like, they're literally hunting for men to impregnate them. 1.00
00:05:32.360 And they haven't given a thought, well, I mean, what's the cost going to be to the child?
00:05:35.860 So, I think, like, if we're going to talk about women wanting to have children, and that's, like, in the plans, then, like, you know, I know sperm is cheap, but we still need it.
00:05:43.400 We still need it.
00:05:44.180 So, you know, what's up with the guy?
00:05:46.380 Where's he at?
00:05:46.960 How are we going to get him?
00:05:48.160 Okay, and then, Pearl, if you're 40, YouTube blown up.
00:05:52.480 Million subscribers.
00:05:53.500 You killed it.
00:05:54.440 But no husband, no kids. 0.97
00:05:55.780 Would that be satisfying?
00:05:56.840 None of it would matter.
00:05:58.160 Like, to me, if you have nothing to pass on, and, like, who cares if you're rich if you're alone?
00:06:04.500 I agree with that.
00:06:05.200 You can have all the money in the world, but if you don't have, like, a family to go home to, that's sad.
00:06:09.940 I did this thing where I interviewed executives, like, top executives in Milwaukee.
00:06:15.180 And there was a couple that I interviewed that, like, had no family, no kids, and you could just see how sad they were.
00:06:21.060 And, like, who cares if you have all the success if you have no one to share it with?
00:06:24.920 Yeah, that makes me think.
00:06:25.740 I have a couple of friends down here in South Florida.
00:06:27.600 They're both, I would say, very successful estate planners, right?
00:06:32.180 So, high-profile lawyers, estate planners.
00:06:35.480 And they were both, you're familiar with the concept of dinks, dual income, no kids.
00:06:40.260 Oh, yes. 0.98
00:06:41.080 Dinks.
00:06:41.340 And they're both, you know, crushing six figures easily.
00:06:46.160 And they were not going to have kids.
00:06:48.560 And then, lo and behold, I think after, like, 10 years of marriage, they decided to have kids. 0.98
00:06:55.220 Now they're on their second kid because they realized, holy shit, I don't know what I was thinking here, okay? 0.98
00:07:00.400 By the way, is this something, this discussion that we're having right now, is this something that women sit around and discuss? 1.00
00:07:06.840 No.
00:07:07.060 This is not.
00:07:08.060 Just stop. 0.92
00:07:09.460 Okay, why is this not, like, guys, we will shoot, yo, what up, bro? 0.97
00:07:13.640 Is it a girl? 0.97
00:07:14.140 Yeah, here's what I'm thinking, yeah.
00:07:15.340 Like, why don't women have these types of discussion? 1.00
00:07:18.100 Why does it take Sazcast on Valuetame to subscribe right now to bring this type of conversation to the forefront?
00:07:23.380 Why don't ladies have this discussion? 1.00
00:07:24.700 Wait, what do you mean?
00:07:25.320 Ladies don't have what conversation? 1.00
00:07:26.380 This discussion right here.
00:07:27.360 They both nodded their head and said, no, they don't talk about this.
00:07:29.800 Do you talk about this kind of stuff with your friends?
00:07:32.320 Stuff like wanting to get married?
00:07:33.660 Career woman, getting married, being a housewife rather than an independent woman.
00:07:38.700 So you're saying you do have these conversations.
00:07:40.420 We don't really talk about all of my, I try to surround myself with people who are very ambitious and career driven, so I can learn from them and, like, we can all build each other up.
00:07:49.600 But we never talk about, like, oh, if I don't get married, if I don't do this, like, we're all talking about just, like, building a career.
00:07:56.760 One of the, you ready to take some calls in a second, Natalia?
00:07:59.800 One second.
00:08:00.620 But one of the terms that I constantly hear, because I'm asking all sorts of people, specifically women, on traits or qualities they find attractive in a man, and a term that constantly gets put out there is ambition.
00:08:17.820 He's ambitious.
00:08:18.620 Oh, my God.
00:08:19.200 He hasn't made it yet, but he's ambitious.
00:08:20.960 He's got some drive.
00:08:21.660 He's got ambition.
00:08:22.240 It's attractive.
00:08:22.800 It's attractive quality.
00:08:24.440 I don't know if men are like, oh, that girl right there, she's ambitious.
00:08:28.320 I love how ambitious she is.
00:08:29.920 They're not.
00:08:30.520 No.
00:08:30.720 Okay.
00:08:31.080 So guys don't care about that.
00:08:33.540 My boyfriend does.
00:08:33.680 My boyfriend does.
00:08:33.700 Your boyfriend does.
00:08:34.300 He loves the fact that you're ambitious.
00:08:36.100 Yeah.
00:08:36.260 But you said boyfriend, is it meaning that's not her husband?
00:08:39.120 How do you mean?
00:08:39.540 I would be curious, right?
00:08:40.680 So if Coco and this guy, right, they end up working on the long term, if he's a masculine
00:08:45.600 man, I would wonder if you'd be in the kitchen making some breakfast.
00:08:49.040 We both make breakfast.
00:08:50.140 I made it today.
00:08:51.300 He made it yesterday.
00:08:52.660 I can show you photos.
00:08:54.020 No, I don't need photo proof.
00:08:55.960 I'm just saying, I would be curious to see if that femininity switch would flip for you. 1.00
00:09:00.560 So is there a switch that women have to basically tap into? 1.00
00:09:03.720 Is that what you're saying?
00:09:04.660 Well, I think women should consider femininity from the beginning, but the West is just really
00:09:08.320 awful at it.
00:09:09.080 I think Eastern culture has femininity figured out way more. 1.00
00:09:11.860 But I think some women, they're ambitious, boss babe, that's all I care about. 1.00
00:09:15.540 But then they meet a strong masculine man.
00:09:17.900 They're like, okay, you know what?
00:09:19.320 Like, maybe I'll work part time.
00:09:20.920 You know, okay, how do you want your steak?
00:09:22.540 Medium rare?
00:09:22.980 What kind of side do you want?
00:09:24.440 I've seen it happen in real time.
00:09:25.720 Women that are like, I would never serve a man. 1.00
00:09:27.900 And then they have the hot plate in their hands.
00:09:29.980 I cook for my man.
00:09:30.840 You know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:09:38.020 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:09:42.460 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.