JustPearlyThings - March 25, 2023


@RealTroyFrancis Exposes the RIGGED Nature Of The Dating Market


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

204.2919

Word count

1,996

Sentence count

178

Harmful content

Misogyny

18

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we're joined by a very special guest who's been in the dating game for a long time and is now coaching men on how to improve their dating game. We talk about the challenges that men face in dating and how to overcome them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 10. What percent of men do you guys think are sexually active?
00:00:03.820 100%.
00:00:04.500 Not with themselves.
00:00:09.680 I feel like it's not that much of a high percentage.
00:00:12.080 I feel like it's lower than women's, isn't it? 1.00
00:00:14.500 Yeah. I don't know the percentage, though, but I feel like it's lower than women's. 1.00
00:00:17.180 Yeah. What percent of men do you think are sexually active?
00:00:19.820 70.
00:00:20.820 70%.
00:00:21.260 40%.
00:00:22.140 40%.
00:00:23.020 I'd say about 60.
00:00:25.440 I would want to say 102.
00:00:27.220 But I'm going to say 60.
00:00:29.180 60, yeah.
00:00:30.060 Me too.
00:00:31.560 Troy, do you know this stat?
00:00:33.200 How many men are sexually active?
00:00:35.940 God, I'm being a very bad man-sphere person, aren't I?
00:00:37.980 It's low. It's low, though.
00:00:39.140 Yeah. I'm curious.
00:00:40.680 Can you tell them a little bit about your experience coaching men in dating?
00:00:45.880 Yeah. I mean, so I coach guys.
00:00:47.980 I mean, I create content.
00:00:49.140 I write.
00:00:49.420 But I coach guys to get traction in terms of dating.
00:00:53.860 And the dating marketplace is very tough out there now for everybody.
00:00:57.040 But, you know, a lot of guys, they just really don't get a look at, you know?
00:01:01.640 And I think there is this misconception.
00:01:03.140 A lot of women think, oh, men are just, you know, that it comes as easily to men as it does to women.
00:01:10.400 And it really doesn't.
00:01:11.320 You know, because a woman basically, unless she's irredeemably unattractive for some reason, can pretty much go out and probably attract somebody that night. 1.00
00:01:20.440 You know, there's not a problem.
00:01:21.460 With guys, that's not necessarily the case.
00:01:23.640 Unless they happen to be either, you know, top whatever percentile in terms of looks or they have social status or they're famous, you know?
00:01:29.640 So a lot of guys sort of who fall below that find it very, very hard to break through.
00:01:34.500 And then when you add on top of that a sort of a lack of social skills or a lack of confidence, a lack of ability to sort of overcome some of the other difficulties they might have.
00:01:43.620 You know, there are guys who are really, really finding it very tough.
00:01:46.920 And we seem to be coming into this environment now where, you know, the rich get richer, the poor get poorer in terms of dating.
00:01:52.980 So the guys who are at the top who are getting traction, they're getting more and more market share, if you like.
00:01:59.320 And then the guys at the bottom are getting less and less.
00:02:00.920 And that's why we've got this issue of guys who are frustrated.
00:02:04.560 And there's, you know, there's sort of the insult thing online and everything like that, you know?
00:02:08.620 So I think it's pretty tough out there for a lot of average sort of dudes, I think.
00:02:12.440 Yeah, one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.
00:02:18.820 Oh, wow.
00:02:20.360 So in here.
00:02:28.920 I don't know.
00:02:30.000 We don't know.
00:02:31.140 I'm not trying to get through.
00:02:32.440 I'm not trying to.
00:02:34.000 But so it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women, but it's actually the opposite.
00:02:39.100 Women are much pickier than men. 1.00
00:02:40.380 I mean, think about out of every 10 men, how many are you really attracted to?
00:02:44.780 Is anyone here, would anyone here say that they're not picky?
00:02:48.960 I'm picky.
00:02:49.760 I'm definitely picky.
00:02:51.060 I think I've become picky over time.
00:02:53.580 Yeah.
00:02:54.860 So then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to? 1.00
00:03:00.940 Haven't you heard women say they won't date short men? 0.99
00:03:03.380 Would any of you date a guy shorter than them?
00:03:05.740 No.
00:03:06.680 I feel like I'm quite short as it is.
00:03:08.800 So two inches shorter than you, any of you doing it?
00:03:12.920 No.
00:03:13.720 And I like to wear heels, so it's not going to work out.
00:03:15.680 Yeah.
00:03:16.460 Exactly.
00:03:17.160 It's not working out.
00:03:17.840 I think it is tougher for guys.
00:03:22.620 I think looks-wise, it has got tougher for guys.
00:03:24.560 And I think, you know, maybe you could say, well, we've had it coming because the guys were sort of like for a long time.
00:03:30.380 The looks focus was very much on women.
00:03:32.900 But I think now, very much on guys, really.
00:03:35.820 You know, again, look through Instagram, dudes with six packs, chiseled, you know, features, all the rest of it.
00:03:42.440 And the way that social media has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has meant that women are now looking at these apps and they're looking at all these, like, top guys, you know, top percentile guys.
00:03:51.940 They're like, oh, that guy's super hot.
00:03:53.500 And then the bloke who doesn't have those attributes doesn't measure up.
00:03:57.120 So she's thinking, well, I want this guy at the top.
00:03:59.260 So now guys are being encouraged to level up, you know, which is not altogether a bad thing, right?
00:04:05.320 Because self-improvement is good for everybody.
00:04:06.860 You know, we should all be doing what we can do to improve ourselves every day, right?
00:04:09.860 But at the same time, I think it has got tougher for guys.
00:04:12.880 And then in a society like here, like in the UK, there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty and, you know, and they will drop their standards, you know?
00:04:23.940 Yeah.
00:04:24.440 Yeah.
00:04:26.100 Sad.
00:04:27.400 How?
00:04:28.160 So do you ever teach guys to, like, cold approach women?
00:04:31.440 Yeah, absolutely.
00:04:32.260 Yeah.
00:04:32.600 Yeah.
00:04:32.880 And what percent of women are receptive, would you say, to, I mean, like, you've been doing this forever, right?
00:04:38.800 Yeah.
00:04:39.200 But there's someone that hasn't.
00:04:41.860 Like, he has to go through how many girls to get a number.
00:04:45.660 It depends.
00:04:47.180 Usual caveats.
00:04:47.960 It depends where it is.
00:04:48.820 You know, there are certain places.
00:04:49.660 Like, if you're in, like, Latin America, it's a lot more people.
00:04:52.420 Maybe Italy as well, actually.
00:04:53.680 I don't know.
00:04:54.620 Maybe not.
00:04:55.440 But, you know, Latin culture is a bit more, like, open.
00:04:57.620 Yeah.
00:04:57.880 They play the card, like, you know, Latin lover. 0.88
00:05:00.160 Yeah.
00:05:00.420 But I don't know.
00:05:01.040 I think it's difficult, though, like, everywhere.
00:05:03.240 But to answer, yeah, yeah, it is.
00:05:05.480 But to answer the question, you have to be prepared to go through a lot of rejection, you know?
00:05:10.120 Like, if you're an average guy and you're going to talk to a woman in a coffee shop or, you know, a bar or bookstore or the grocery store, whatever it is, you know, you are going to go through rejection.
00:05:20.420 In fact, rejection is the rule and the exception really is to get accepted.
00:05:27.320 But that's OK.
00:05:28.460 You know, it's a question of accepting that, being OK with that, being confident and working on yourself every day in order to be the best possible man that you can be.
00:05:36.840 But, yeah, a lot of rejection for sure for people.
00:05:39.920 I was going to say, well, at least a man has options.
00:05:42.620 I feel like women, our options are very, very limited.
00:05:45.300 So even if even if a man is getting rejected, at least he knows, OK, fine, I can find another woman who is maybe like a woman that I'm interested in.
00:05:52.460 But for a woman, it's very, very difficult.
00:05:55.300 I feel like the options for men are very, very low.
00:05:56.980 It is not difficult.
00:05:57.920 You just go outside.
00:06:02.500 It's true, but it's like for me, it's not going to be a guy that I want.
00:06:06.420 But whose fault is that?
00:06:08.780 Isn't that your own fault?
00:06:09.560 Because that's your standard.
00:06:10.120 It's definitely not my fault.
00:06:10.860 I'm not selling for anybody that I'm not attracted to or I don't want.
00:06:13.860 Absolutely.
00:06:14.500 I agree.
00:06:15.300 We need better options.
00:06:16.520 So, yeah, I think you should keep coaching men to level up.
00:06:18.200 So the men need to level up.
00:06:19.360 But then don't you think the women need to level up? 1.00
00:06:21.720 I mean, how many women? 1.00
00:06:22.120 The women are leveling up.
00:06:22.960 I'm leveled.
00:06:25.900 What percent of women have cookbooks? 1.00
00:06:27.640 What percent of women are homemakers? 1.00
00:06:29.000 What percent of women really work with kids and can be good mothers? 1.00
00:06:32.760 There's a percentage, but you just have to find your percentage.
00:06:36.660 Go ahead.
00:06:37.460 You just have to find your percentage.
00:06:39.520 You have to find your percentage?
00:06:40.740 You have to find it.
00:06:41.440 There's women out there. 1.00
00:06:42.440 You just have to find.
00:06:43.300 Yeah, but is it common?
00:06:44.500 But that's for a certain type of man.
00:06:46.520 There are some men that like boss babes who have businesses. 0.85
00:06:49.240 No, no, no.
00:06:50.800 Stuff like that.
00:06:51.620 There are 100%.
00:06:52.880 Bum.
00:06:53.480 100%.
00:06:53.800 There are broke men.
00:06:54.720 If that's who you did, that's who you did.
00:07:01.600 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes? 1.00
00:07:03.820 Men don't give a shit about our money. 1.00
00:07:05.760 Exactly.
00:07:05.960 They literally don't care.
00:07:07.060 It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection and you're like, oh,
00:07:10.380 that's cool, but you don't really care.
00:07:11.800 That's how men view our money. 1.00
00:07:13.460 They don't care.
00:07:14.020 It's nothing to them.
00:07:14.780 But you proved the point of what you said just now, though, because what you're saying
00:07:18.120 is that you could walk out theoretically, you know, hypothetically, you could walk out
00:07:21.760 and get some guy, maybe come and chat you up or whatever, but you're looking for a certain
00:07:25.260 percentile of guy.
00:07:26.300 Yeah.
00:07:26.500 So you're basically saying, oh, you know, this group of guys who might hit on me randomly
00:07:31.880 in West London, I don't care about them because I want this top tier.
00:07:35.940 And that's the thing.
00:07:36.780 And I'm not saying that's a bad.
00:07:38.080 I mean, that's absolutely everyone's prerogative.
00:07:40.140 But at the same time, I think a lot of guys are finding it increasingly difficult in this
00:07:44.280 dating marketplace, you know, because women are the gatekeepers, basically, you know. 1.00
00:07:48.380 Yes.
00:07:49.000 So I'm curious because I hear this a lot.
00:07:51.680 Like, I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level.
00:07:54.220 Or is that what you said?
00:07:55.100 I don't want to misquote you.
00:07:56.020 I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
00:08:00.820 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high? 1.00
00:08:04.520 If we don't, if all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we
00:08:08.160 want, when do we lower them?
00:08:09.400 When you're getting old and there's no more time.
00:08:12.340 When your body clock is giving up and you can't have children.
00:08:15.780 So 90% of your eggs are gone by 30.
00:08:18.720 So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards? 1.00
00:08:22.980 Because I'd be 30 then, if that's the case.
00:08:24.800 Because I need children.
00:08:26.840 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:27.400 Because it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35. 0.99
00:08:30.000 Wow.
00:08:30.620 So I think a lot of times, like women, we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it
00:08:34.960 really is.
00:08:36.340 You freeze your eggs.
00:08:38.080 That's also an option, yeah.
00:08:39.380 Yeah, but I can't remember the stat off the top of my head, but it doesn't work out for
00:08:45.200 a lot of women. 1.00
00:08:45.900 They kind of sell us that dream.
00:08:47.620 Yeah.
00:08:49.040 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant, but it's not as high 0.80
00:08:52.780 as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
00:08:56.860 I think the other way around, it's only about 50%.
00:08:58.960 If a guy freezes his sperm, it's quite, you know, it's like a 50-50 shot, basically, whether
00:09:06.040 it's going to work or not.
00:09:08.880 I mean, yeah, it's a bit of a tricky one.
00:09:11.160 I mean, yeah.
00:09:13.800 I don't know.
00:09:14.500 But no one can help who they're attracted to.
00:09:19.280 I mean, you can't say to somebody, well, you know, it's very hard to say to somebody,
00:09:24.800 look, you should lower your standards because we are attracted to who we're attracted to.
00:09:29.720 And that's just the reality.
00:09:30.800 I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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