JustPearlyThings - Red Pilled Millionaire Drops Marriage Advice On The Panel

00:00:00.000 I was 22 years old. I was sitting down with a mentor of mine who had like a massive impact on

00:00:04.880 my life. He was about 40 years old, like extremely successful with women, with finances, everything.

00:00:10.060 The guy was just a stud, went on to become a VP of a public company that sold for like a billion

00:00:14.280 dollars. Just crazy. Private company sold like that. It was crazy. And I asked him and I was

00:00:18.580 really, really frustrated. I was 22 years old. I hadn't got laid in about a year. That's 22.

00:00:24.040 Sorry, 22. I was 22. I hadn't been laid in about a year.

00:00:26.740 Why? Was it a bad choice? Because, look, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20. That's

00:00:31.840 why. Because I didn't understand the reality of what I was dealing with. I had delusions

00:00:35.860 in my mind. Like I thought I would meet a girl at 20 and marry her because my grandparents

00:00:38.960 were both married until everybody died. Both sets of grandparents.

00:00:41.840 Dimitri, can I ask you something? Yeah.

00:00:44.440 Like, what's your thoughts? Obviously, you're a married man. And I've always wanted to ask

00:00:49.780 Amanda this, obviously, of your level. And it's like, what do you think about, what's it

00:00:56.180 called again pre-nup? Yeah.

00:00:58.700 What do you think about that? Does it go against the marriages of this girl?

00:01:01.620 Man, I have a really, I have some really controversial opinions on this. And if you'd like

00:01:05.300 me to share, I'll share. So number one, I had two conditions, three conditions for getting

00:01:11.760 married. The first condition was my wife has to take my last name. It wasn't a religious

00:01:16.760 choice. It was that a mentor of mine told me that it signified something. My mom didn't

00:01:20.520 take my dad's last name and they got divorced. And I saw that my mom didn't respect my dad like 0.78

00:01:24.120 I felt he deserved the respect. Even though he suffered, he suffered with dignity. That

00:01:28.140 was number one. Number two, no prenup. That was a decision I made principally. I made that

00:01:33.700 decision. No prenup. Like I told my wife, like, I didn't know if I was ever going to get married.

00:01:38.880 But if I went for it, I was going to go all in. But I'm going to make a real strategic decision.

00:01:43.180 I'm going to go all freaking in.

00:01:45.780 That's the way it should be.

00:01:46.780 That was the way it should be.

00:01:48.120 That was my choice. And I admit, it might not be the most people are going to say, oh, but

00:01:52.360 you're a businessman. You're making a discount, not a risk mitigating decision. I made a choice.

00:01:57.480 But, you know, I'll tell you something. My wife's told me this many, many times, like

00:02:00.180 sort of in a playful way, kind of talk, you know, because we have hard conversations sometimes.

00:02:03.460 She's like, look, if you divorce me, I don't want any money. I just, she just said, I just

00:02:06.140 want to make sure that I have the kids. And I said, that's great. That's what I want too.

00:02:10.400 Right. But, but that's, but I made that decision. I made that decision to step into that and

00:02:15.320 say, I'm going to risk everything because maybe it's a courageous, you know, delusion that I had

00:02:20.340 at the time. And maybe I'm just lucky that it worked out the way it has so far.

00:02:23.820 So would you say that there's no wrong or right when it comes to that kind of decision?

00:02:28.120 Like, was it down to you as an individual? Because it is like a business kind of decision.

00:02:32.320 Marriage, marriage to me was, look, again, 85%.

00:02:35.600 Is it, are the laws different in the country you're in?

00:02:38.840 I got married in Canada first.

00:02:40.640 Okay.

00:02:41.100 So that's like, that is a terrible place to do it. Right.

00:02:43.880 Well, because the Canadian court system just is like Australia or the US. It just really

00:02:51.220 favors women. But, but you know what, but I felt like I vouched my wife's character. You 0.97

00:02:55.780 know, what's crazy is my wife's never had a public Instagram. I'll just tell you right

00:02:58.400 now. She never had it. And by the way, people that meet my wife, they're like, wow, Dimitri,

00:03:01.260 like really? Like they're impressed that I got a girl of that caliber because she's, you

00:03:04.360 know, 5'10", blonde. Don't nod your head. You met her. No, not cool. You know, my wife's 1.00

00:03:09.420 like, like, like I have a type and it's her like 5'10", blonde. Like, you know, people 1.00

00:03:13.640 say, wow, is she like a model or something? Because, you know, so I did well in that regard,

00:03:17.780 but I vouched her, I like vetted her character. So like no public Instagram. I'm going to say

00:03:22.320 this, no tattoos, no piercings. Okay. Hate me. I don't care. No tattoos, no piercings, no

00:03:26.220 public Instagram. Great relationship with her dad. Her dad's a heart surgeon, like incredible,

00:03:30.380 like successful, stern man, great relationship. One of three sisters. She's the oldest of three

00:03:34.820 great, educated, could have a lot of dudes, chose not to. And in fact, I was my wife and

00:03:42.600 I have my wife's first and only serious relationship. Wow. So I guess if you choose

00:03:47.540 right, you don't need the pre-nup. You choose for life. Well, and of course, like what bigger

00:03:51.880 decision can a man make than to get married? Like everything right. I kind of hear what he's

00:03:57.740 saying. I think when you're looking for a partner, you need to actually look at, do they

00:04:03.460 actually, little things, does it match with the person? And if the little things match,

00:04:09.700 and if you can deal with one another's differences in opinions, I think that's, that's a winner.

00:04:15.280 Because then you're showing that you have respect and you're listening and you're working as a team,

00:04:20.700 how a relationship should be. So I have a question. Can I finish my, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead.

00:04:25.840 I was going to say, so I'm sitting with my mentor. I'm 22 years old. I remember it very vividly.

00:04:29.180 I got to the party late. You know what I mean? Like I didn't kiss a girl till I was 20. And then

00:04:34.120 like I'm 22 and I'm single and I'm frustrated and my life is not going the way I want it to go. And

00:04:38.940 I'm like, why am I like, why? By the way, by 23, a lot of things, I bought my first house at 23 and

00:04:43.920 I was a full-time university student. So like there was a lot of changes that I was undergoing. Like I

00:04:47.520 started going to the gym. I started doing things that sucked. Like I took cold showers every freaking 0.98

00:04:52.140 morning. In fact, my 1988 Toyota Corolla, actual 1988 Toyota Corolla that I took a girl on a date on

00:04:58.160 told me that she'll never go on a date with me again because my car smells like old people. And 1.00

00:05:01.680 she thought I was a psycho, which makes sense because my Corolla had a Ferrari sticker on the

00:05:05.340 steering wheel. Tony Robbins. No, it was Napoleon Hill secrets of whatever Napoleon Hill playing and

00:05:09.920 motivational quotes posted on all the mirrors. So I look like a crazy person, right? Okay. So

00:05:14.260 anyways, 22, I'm sitting with a mentor of mine. I'm like, and I said, dude, like, how do I get a

00:05:18.920 happy and successful girlfriend? I want a girlfriend. I don't want to. You're saying you've done the

00:05:22.500 mentoring for the girlfriend. Well, I just, that's who I was at 22. Yeah. And I said, I respect it though.

00:05:28.140 I went through the other phase too, by the way, like, I went through that. And if you're

00:05:40.000 listening to Napoleon Hill at 22, wow. Because I lived in the actual projects. Like I lived

00:05:51.300 like, you know, the projects are social housing. I introduced you to him. Literally, I was rollerblading

00:05:56.760 and somebody's recruited me to go into sales. Like, hey, you look really motivated. Come

00:05:59.780 to sales. And I'm like, oh, they think I'm motivated. I'm just poor. I'm just poor. But

00:06:03.860 here's the, and by the way, like, so, so he, I said, how do I get a happy and successful

00:06:07.720 girlfriend? At the time I was just, I just wanted a girl to like me. I wasn't thinking

00:06:10.640 about like anything else. He goes, he goes, oh, that's easy. You just have to be happy and

00:06:14.440 successful. Yeah. And I thought about that a lot. And it comes back to, you know, McConaughey

00:06:18.760 quote, he does the thing like, don't chase a butterfly, build a garden, the butterflies will

00:06:22.320 come. So a mentor of mine that had really huge impact on my life. Like he really told

00:06:26.800 me like, he's like, just build your own value, focus on you and do everything you need to

00:06:31.220 do to be the most attractive guy to the, to the women around you. Cause I wasn't an attractive

00:06:34.960 guy to women around me. I was rollerblading to university in the 1988 Corolla. I was falling

00:06:38.700 apart. The driving test I took the first time he didn't let me drive the car. I said to borrow

00:06:42.640 my dad's car because he said the car does not look safe. So, you know, at 22, I'm not a good

00:06:48.140 prospect for women. So like now my mind changed like, oh, it's not that I'm not good

00:06:52.140 at getting women is that women don't want me. Why not? Well, because I'm 22 and I was

00:06:57.920 at the time I was going to university. I was professionally gaming. I was playing games

00:07:02.280 14, 15 hours a day. I stunk. So do we, why do you, why do you, why do you think you were 0.97

00:07:07.060 able to take that feedback where most women, if you say the men you want, don't want you

00:07:10.860 because the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change. It just hurt too fricking

00:07:15.900 much. To be fair at 22 men are at that level where they're not, um, they're not as highly,

00:07:23.680 you know, I'm, I'm talking from a perspective of 22 year old man and a 22 year old woman. Yeah. A 22

00:07:30.980 year old role, a 22 year old woman is a lot more desired than a 22 year old man at that stage. 0.84

00:07:37.900 But we could use the opposite, like a 42 year old man and a 42 year old woman. Yes. The man's

00:07:43.640 going to be a lot more desired than the woman. Definitely. Because now he's in his game. It 0.99

00:07:47.500 actually, it switches for women about 30, um, according to dating apps. Yeah. Yeah. Where

00:07:52.660 it's all facts. It's like where the tables turn. Well, and there's, and there's a wisdom there

00:07:57.040 too. Like, why did I get married? I'll say why I have friends that are 40 that are very successful.

00:08:00.420 They never got married. Right. Um, I kind of looked at it like, I understand obviously that

00:08:05.340 men's value grows with time and women's value, like as whatever you call sexual market value 0.71

00:08:08.700 goes down. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but, but that's like what actually, in my opinion, my, this is an

00:08:14.240 opinion, in my opinion, it's what makes a successful man, a man who can be dangerous, but chooses

00:08:18.020 not to be and chooses to control it. That to me is like a really high aspiration for a way

00:08:22.120 of living. And I might be wrong, but, but I love that. I love the aspiration of being able

00:08:26.660 to do the things that are dangerous, but choosing to control that danger. So I have a question with

00:08:31.980 the prenup stuff. I feel like I, it's tough because it's almost like if you have a kid,

00:08:38.160 you're screwed anyway. Yeah. When it comes to marriage, like just, I've been doing this 0.91

00:08:41.900 documentary on the court system, but even so I just don't think I could ever advise a

00:08:46.460 guy not to get a prenup because, um, because just the outcomes are so catastrophic, especially

00:08:52.600 when I'm learning like about, um, men like committing suicide a lot during that process. It's

00:08:57.400 like a really big problem. And I started, um, asking Uber drivers that I drive with and

00:09:02.380 I'll just start asking them questions. And I found out like, I would guess like one out

00:09:06.880 of four of my Uber drivers, they somehow were in the court system in some way. So it's like

00:09:12.140 all these men that were just financially ruined at their forties or their fifties to the point

00:09:16.520 they're never going to come back. So do you, do you advise men to like do the same route

00:09:21.120 that you did? Cause I would just have a hard time doing that.

00:09:23.520 My, you know, I'm a logical guy and I like to think of like, and things about mitigating

00:09:27.080 risk. Probably I made a very suboptimal decision. Um, I'm very happy with my decision. It was

00:09:33.220 a personal choice for me to, you know, I, I get really hard for commitment. I get hard

00:09:38.080 for discipline. It's just how commitment turns me on. I've done one thing in my life, you

00:09:42.340 know, at a university selling door to door, I started to sell a company that's, I sold suits

00:09:46.760 door to door and office buildings, which has just grown to 20 countries. We now have over

00:09:49.940 a hundred people working at our company. I've only, that's the only thing I've done. I

00:09:53.420 don't like jumping around. I don't like to, I don't like to look for success in places

00:09:58.600 that I don't know they exist. I, I don't like to, I don't like to look at my neighbors

00:10:02.740 lawn. I like to fertilize my own lawn. So for me, that decision of commitment was actually

00:10:06.740 bigger than the risk that I felt. And that's just me. Not everybody's going to feel that

00:10:10.600 way. And, um, and that's okay. I mean, I don't think, I don't know if there's a right answer.

00:10:15.420 I think this is part.

JustPearlyThings - June 11, 2023

Red Pilled Millionaire Drops Marriage Advice On The Panel

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