JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023


She admitted this about Modern Women


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

197.36618

Word count

2,323

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a woman who has been a mother for the past 3 years and a single mum for the last 2 years. She shares her experience of dating as a single mother and how it has affected her dating life and how she has dealt with the challenges that come with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 um is dating easy for women what do you think do you think dating's easy for women
00:00:07.180 no why i feel like a lot of women are very picky and a bit fussy so so it makes it hard for women 1.00
00:00:15.540 sometimes yeah i feel like a lot of women sit down and feel like they've got all these boxes 1.00
00:00:19.540 that need to be ticked and if one's not ticked up onto the next one he's not right you know i feel
00:00:25.040 what are your what are your boxes that you need ticking what are your boxes you know as i get
00:00:29.880 older and also living boxes you got do you know as i get older and i listen to older women yeah speak 1.00
00:00:38.820 i realize that it's not all about boxes being ticked it's about the man being correct it's about
00:00:44.920 him genuinely all right cool you're what what do you what does the guy look like hold on hold on
00:00:49.800 hold on what does the guy look like what what are those intangibles what are those personality traits
00:00:54.740 what are you looking for in a guy what makes the guy right for you so a guy who is motivated and
00:01:00.900 motivating so whatever you do in this life it needs to motivate me to be a better woman as well
00:01:07.080 and also you're motivated to work you've got a job you've got ambition you're you've got a drive
00:01:13.120 you're working towards something you're not just sat here thinking oh do you know what i'm not sure
00:01:16.820 what i'm gonna do but maybe i might try this like there's clarity within your mind you know what you
00:01:21.200 want and where you're going would you date a guy shorter than you probably not well then that's
00:01:28.660 an intact that's already a very important time but you never know guys are not tall but you never know
00:01:33.260 you can't choose who you fall in love with you real short and if you're shorter than me then whoo
00:01:38.460 child you're short short because this is the thing like when i ask women this kind of actually let me 0.96
00:01:43.080 move on uh what what uh what do you think about it what kind of things are you looking for in a guy
00:01:47.980 um do you think and do you think dating is easy for women from a personal perspective dating is 0.94
00:01:55.600 different for me um only because i'm a mother and i've been a mother for three years so i'm still
00:02:03.320 quite adaptive 28 okay um i haven't really i don't know it's just it's it's it's just weird and
00:02:11.120 different for me i don't even know like the thought of um because obviously i'm not with my child's
00:02:16.500 father but the thought of um having to meet not having to but meeting someone and then having to
00:02:23.880 introduce them to my daughter eventually and then how is that going to play out it's it's a bit scary
00:02:28.600 i'm honest with you definitely like um i'd ask you this was was your baby's father a bad boy
00:02:36.120 was he a bad boy like was he toxic um what's just be real no i'm trying to define what exactly you
00:02:46.880 mean by like a bad boy okay what do you mean i don't know did he treat you bad like obviously
00:02:51.920 you're not with him now on it so did he treat you bad um i'm not with him now because he's not
00:02:58.200 carrying out the responsibilities and the duties as a father should do um is that like financially
00:03:04.180 financially emotionally supportively presently every league that there is but um prior to that
00:03:13.740 of course he treated me right because i jumped in bed with him didn't i uh not necessarily you
00:03:18.520 might have jumped in bed with him because he's good looking he's tall he's good looking he's got
00:03:24.380 swag or popular it happens a lot i know i agree definitely agree but i wasn't in a situation
00:03:29.940 was it from a relationship or a one-night stand um it was a progressive relationship or i thought it
00:03:35.160 was for how long um it's like on and off kind of not on and off but i don't know it's just was it
00:03:44.700 was it a relationship or like a situation right i would say well in my eyes i thought that's where it
00:03:50.540 was going do you know what i mean but obviously other people have so you had a kid with someone
00:03:54.300 you're in a situationship with pretty much yikes what what made you decide to do that or was it
00:04:00.020 um when i was in the situation like was it his idea or yours what to yeah both of us like we made
00:04:08.060 the decision both together but um yeah like it's just something that i couldn't bring myself to do
00:04:14.360 do you think like you know when you was first like seeing each other sleeping together all of that yeah
00:04:19.220 like did did you think that he had the money to like you know look after a child or look after
00:04:24.940 a family do you think he was in a situation to do that i thought the way this person played
00:04:33.180 themself out to to be to me that's what i thought but so he sold you a dream but 100 is it how 100
00:04:42.100 i don't want to get too into my business but no no okay like how can like because like people are
00:04:48.520 people people are um very manipulative and i guess at the time i was very naive i was very blindsided
00:04:57.300 um and that's a part of myself that i'm not proud of but it is what it is it's like i was i was able
00:05:05.100 to be i allowed myself to be sold that dream from somebody and now i see that person i see you know
00:05:11.440 i mean it's like wow like how did you have is he tall um five ten five ten how tall are you
00:05:18.900 five some like five something don't you know your height like listen listen um i think i'm like
00:05:26.560 five eight five nine okay like what is he a attractive guy is he attractive yeah he's good
00:05:32.260 looking good looking guy is that the first thing that that pretty much attracted you to him yeah
00:05:36.600 no no it wasn't actually it was it was the intellect it was the conversation it was the
00:05:41.840 that kind of vibe okay can i ask a quick question i guess before having the child what
00:05:48.580 personality traits did you see within him that you thought would make him a good a great father
00:05:53.120 um just from i i'd never had that connection with a guy before like the intimacy like i was saying
00:06:02.080 like the conversations the connections his experiences the way just the way he spoke the way he carried
00:06:07.860 himself and i've i thought like wow finally i've actually met somebody who is on my you know when you
00:06:17.140 see intimacy and connections i just think that he was laying good pipe yeah to be honest what i think
00:06:22.360 i'll just be real with you no because that's very important now but hold on think about it yeah
00:06:26.200 because there's plenty of guys that could be nice guys or in you know great to talk to but if they
00:06:31.120 don't lay down good pipe you're gonna be like yeah no of course of course but separately from that
00:06:35.980 separately from that it's like yeah yeah yeah no because yeah but i was paying attention to the
00:06:43.380 answer because i asked specifically what were the personality characteristics or traits that you
00:06:47.080 thought would make him a good father and i thought that it was really interesting that the answer
00:06:52.460 was things or in a relationship that you liked about him so was there perhaps a degree of you
00:06:59.560 didn't consider father characteristics within him before i actually having a baby with him i actually
00:07:04.880 did like i think there was times that even i was thinking like oh my god i could even see myself
00:07:09.700 being with this person and imagining myself having kids with this person or having a child with this
00:07:14.560 person like those things were there you know it's not just some it wasn't just some like oh yeah like
00:07:21.480 can i ask you something like why like and i realize this isn't a criticism because i understand we
00:07:28.360 the circumstances we're in we're in but like i don't understand why people have a child with
00:07:33.800 someone which is a lifetime commitment but they don't have a commitment from that person you know
00:07:39.480 marriage or like like an actual relationship that's long term because marriage is not for everyone
00:07:46.120 but i i do believe the structure of marriage is important i think you know in terms of that so what
00:07:52.360 would you say convinced you if this man wasn't willing to marry you why would you be willing to give him
00:07:58.080 your womb i think it was not the conviction it was more of the i can't have an abortion 0.50
00:08:03.700 that's what like so did you purposely get you said you guys discussed having a baby no no i never said
00:08:09.800 that i never said that you said it was both of your decisions to have the baby i thought the question
00:08:14.440 was after you found out that you was pregnant but there's 31 there's 31 forms of birth control did
00:08:20.100 you get pregnant on purpose to try to lock him down into a relationship because most women in 1.00
00:08:25.080 situationships one why weren't you using birth control and i'm not it's not a criticism sweetheart
00:08:30.700 like like i promise you this is not a criticism i think it's important because i think you have a
00:08:35.080 lesson to teach other women and younger women no no no and this isn't a criticism i know your child is
00:08:40.520 beautiful you love your child and you are doing what you can like i know the circumstances that
00:08:46.380 you're talking about but so other women can kind of learn from what you're talking about 1.00
00:08:50.080 did you feel as though if you had a child with him in this situation ship he was not committed to
00:08:55.300 you wholeheartedly he wasn't dedicated wasn't in love with you wasn't saying you are my woman i'm
00:09:00.200 i'm going to provide and protect for you did you feel as though having a child with him would kind of
00:09:05.320 force him into it absolutely not absolutely then why didn't you use birth control if you knew this
00:09:10.220 man was not dedicated to you why would you choose to have a child with a man who didn't love you
00:09:14.620 it was just i don't know i thought at one point like i thought that's where it was going love
00:09:20.240 before i found out but before but why not wait until it was done and deal do you think it's like
00:09:25.260 maybe the way you were raised your family circumstances i think it was just you didn't
00:09:28.100 see it was model are you are you just in love with him and you hope that it would go that way
00:09:33.140 it was like a hope the child was definitely not something to keep him at all that that's that's never
00:09:38.760 been in my nature it was the first time i'd ever been pregnant as well and i'd never been through
00:09:43.400 an abortion and i was 24 years old and a lot of friends that i have have been through like
00:09:51.280 abortions and this and that like it's normal but why not birth control is what i'm saying it's like
00:09:56.800 i was just being irresponsible um i was on but why but why because your womb so is the most valuable 0.98
00:10:04.240 thing of of you as a woman so the birth control that i was on before um made me just constantly
00:10:10.660 like but why not use condoms why not use condoms it's not your husband you don't know and he's not
00:10:16.640 even your man he's like for everybody responsible babe that's it literally okay no no no i i'm not
00:10:22.500 saying as a judgment i just wanted to hear that because i feel like a lot of girls a lot of young
00:10:26.200 girls are in that same situation a lot of older women let's be honest are in the same situation so 1.00
00:10:31.300 it's just is this important information because i feel like you're being very honest right now yeah i'm
00:10:35.980 transparent i know how to be yeah no you're doing you're doing good um but do you think do you
00:10:41.300 think dating is easy for women though in general like modern women like girls your age um i feel 0.97
00:10:47.460 like it's i feel like a lot of women um just from what i hear stories and things you see online i think
00:10:56.540 it's easier for women nowadays not necessarily like serious because you're saying dating you're not
00:11:02.060 really saying like serious relationships marriage and things like that you're saying dating with a
00:11:06.000 goal leads into relationships and marriage in it so that's the first well people don't usually just
00:11:11.200 jump straight to marriage in it like no obviously but some people date and they don't end up getting
00:11:15.500 married so yeah but what i'm saying is that's the first phase like you have to pass the first phase
00:11:20.960 to get to the next phase so what i'm asking is do you think it's easy for women in that first 0.88
00:11:25.100 initial phase to get what they want in this day and age yeah i think so okay as many of you know
00:11:31.000 i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to
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