JustPearlyThings - She Blames Her Parents For Her Childhood Traumas

00:00:00.000 tell me your thoughts do good wives leave yes or no and good wives only believe in separation they 1.00

00:00:04.320 don't believe in divorce you can go it's all right you can disagree that's what do you what do you

00:00:08.720 think tell me why um i mean if you want to leave leave honestly it doesn't make you a bad person

00:00:17.360 i just just leave like if i don't know it can be very little this or you're just not feeling

00:00:23.360 anymore like both of you it's a mutual thing or okay just leave i don't believe in that separation

00:00:28.080 so a good wife can leave yeah okay go ahead uh yeah i do agree with you um only because based 0.98

00:00:37.040 of my personal experience and watching my parents be like that i always grew up wanting them to

00:00:43.200 actually get a divorce because it was so damaging to us as children so i feel like life is way too

00:00:51.920 short to stay in a marriage with someone that you are not happy with and to continue living

00:00:57.760 a miserable life yeah why why put yourself through that why put your kids through that as

00:01:02.480 well if kids are involved as well so i do think you can still be a good wife but you can also 0.99

00:01:07.760 leave maybe do it for the kids yeah like well because kids have better outcomes i'm saying

00:01:12.560 stay together for the kids oh i don't like no it's even worse no yeah but see i as i was the kid and i

00:01:18.480 always wanted my parents to get a divorce i would even tell them but why don't you guys get a divorce

00:01:23.040 because it was so painful seeing them be the way they were with each other living that separated

00:01:28.560 life in the same house but how do you how do you know it would have been a better outcome for you

00:01:32.720 you seem to have turned out okay right thank you so um your outward appearance doesn't necessarily

00:01:39.440 indicate what's going on inside though yeah exactly what i'm saying haven't you like i don't know um

00:01:44.400 um every statistic statistic will tell you it's better to have two parents in the same house

00:01:50.880 than it is yeah but one parent i know but then that kid also has to deal with that trauma for

00:01:57.360 example i have trauma now growing up you may you may see me like this but like you don't know how i am

00:02:01.600 inside like i have childhood trauma now because of my parents marriage and witnessing what went on in

00:02:08.240 that house because they did not uh get a divorce did they get did they not get along they would fight

00:02:14.720 a lot yeah absolutely they did not get along and really and truly they should have got divorced but

00:02:20.720 because of the kids they stayed and because my mom believed in this whole i need to be a good wife 0.98

00:02:26.400 and i can't leave him now that he's old and throw him out she stayed but i wish she would have got

00:02:32.080 divorced because that was really painful as a child growing up to see those things what if one of them

00:02:38.400 had moved out though and you hadn't seen them as much would that have been painful as well do you

00:02:41.600 think i think either way it would that either way it would have been but i actually would have preferred

00:02:46.560 that if they had got different house yeah i would have liked my dad my dad's not alive anymore um but

00:02:53.040 i would have liked it if he moved out and we saw him on weekends or something because i feel like it

00:02:59.040 would have been a healthier environment for us kids i think it causes a divide and a toxic household 0.99

00:03:05.680 as well yeah it was an extremely toxic household it was and it was really hard growing up dealing

00:03:10.880 with that actually um and it's also given me trauma now that you know i'm in a relationship and i'm

00:03:16.240 planning to get married and i worry that i'm gonna have the same life my mom and dad had which is a

00:03:23.280 horrible feeling but that is what kids who go through those things end up feeling when they get to

00:03:28.880 my age do you think that's me do you look at kind of marriage as a more kind of solid thing now

00:03:37.200 though you look at it and you go i have to want this so badly yeah before i get it's like i want

00:03:42.560 to break the generational curse now because because it's a lot of women in my family unfortunately left 1.00

00:03:49.360 their husbands um that's that's that at least that's a positive outlook that you've got on it you

00:03:53.920 can look at it and be like yeah i want to be successful in it that's yeah that's strong and

00:03:58.560 can hold together even through hardship you can be like well i don't want what happened before yeah

00:04:04.240 at least it's something you can kind of yeah grow on and develop have you ever seen a healthy

00:04:08.720 relationship no i don't have a representation of a healthy relationship no so how how would you learn

00:04:15.120 how to be a wife um i'm doing a lot of inner work like i'm really searching inwards i you know i've

00:04:23.840 looked into therapy i i've tried to work on myself i tried to work work on my traumas i really want to

00:04:30.800 break that generational curse um so i have healthy open com you know conversations with my mum about

00:04:37.840 these things in the past and her marriage with my dad we talk about these things on a daily basis

00:04:41.840 um so i feel like i i have i have the right mindset now because i know what i don't want

00:04:49.360 and i don't want that unhealthy toxic environment that unfortunately i grew up in as a child i don't

00:04:55.360 want my kids to go through that so i feel like all the things that my mum and dad went through i don't

00:05:01.440 want to be reenacting those in my marriage how are you raised your hand um when it goes back to what you

00:05:07.360 just asked um i agree with you um i don't have any parents in my life mom or dad um i had a mom

00:05:15.360 who played a woman and a father um but i think when it comes to relationships and what you choose i think

00:05:23.920 it comes to choices and what you learn i think the world i think that's quite big to be honest but i think

00:05:29.920 just like learning from people around you you just kind of sit back and be like do i like that do i

00:05:36.880 accept that um and i think it's just choice really what makes you happy and you just build yourself if

00:05:43.360 that makes sense like with me i think love's beautiful i would love yeah i would love to get

00:05:49.280 married and it's not just marriage you know i understand where you're coming from it's like

00:05:53.920 signing a paper and i get where you where like you come from i understand that but i feel like

00:06:00.320 there's someone out there for everyone i agree you know yeah and i yeah i agree with you and i

00:06:05.840 think i would love to get that opportunity why do you think that why because what was that i didn't

00:06:13.200 even hear it oh there's not there's not someone for everyone why yeah because some women die alone 1.00

00:06:19.600 a lot of women do they do all the time some men die alone but how do you know they didn't have the 0.84

00:06:23.200 love of their life yeah and they lost it yeah because one out of three men are sex because karma

00:06:31.680 who said that one of three men are either virgins or having had sex in the past year plus there's

00:06:37.760 more women than men but they lost the love of their life because of karma because of what no no there's 0.99

00:06:43.600 there's more women than men on the planet so if every woman had someone there would be eat 50 50. 1.00

00:06:48.800 but there's also there are people like me

00:06:56.240 can i ask a question do you see yourself sorry a bit off topic but i'm just quite curious would you

00:07:02.080 do you see yourself marrying a man or not like again i would only ever get married if that other

00:07:07.360 person really wanted it but i i've actually this is probably the first time i've ever openly come out

00:07:12.960 as bisexual like publicly um but yeah i mean i yeah either way if it's the if it meant a lot to

00:07:25.360 the other person and i you know felt like it i was in a position in my life to be like that's really

00:07:32.640 if that means so much to you i want to be able to give that to you would you marry a woman yeah

00:07:37.440 yeah yeah why me but i i again it wouldn't be because i want to even with the nagging

00:07:50.240 i nag to myself that's enough sometimes who here thinks i just want to raise a hand who

00:07:54.960 thinks good wives don't leave you do everyone else thinks good wives leave oh actually wait no good

00:08:01.760 good good wives will never leave good good wives you you think that i don't think you're no you're

00:08:07.920 not a wife if you leave i think if you sign up for something you're not you're no longer a wife if

00:08:15.840 you leave are you you're no longer so so you're neither someone else's wife yeah but you're not 0.97

00:08:21.760 in that situation you're no longer the wife to be a good wife so are you a good one i'm just gonna i 0.91

00:08:26.400 just kind of want to break this down okay this is why men are complaining it's like they maybe get

00:08:30.560 one meal from a good wife and she's she's okay to leave if she feels like it and we fight i mean 1.00

00:08:36.560 he's okay to leave as well like it's i mean but but the thing is we don't have anything on the line

00:08:43.440 if a man marries you you i'm doing a documentary on the court system here you you literally are paid

00:08:49.760 like lawyers um you are you get a free counsel here if you say that he abused you and you can deny

00:08:57.360 him access for his kids up to two years trying to get like he doesn't have a chance in court

00:09:02.080 vice versa no it's not vice no no but vice versa it's so much harsher on the man isn't it no it's

00:09:07.920 so it's so much harsher on the man to the point 90 of the time um women get custody yeah and it's

00:09:14.080 actually like it's actually a really it's really sad i'm interviewing some of the guys that have like

00:09:18.240 been through it it's it's there are guys that haven't seen their kid in four years because they're

00:09:23.360 ex accused them of abuse and they never did it there's no proof there's no how'd you know they

00:09:27.600 didn't do it because there's no proof that doesn't mean anything that doesn't it doesn't mean that they

00:09:32.880 do something or they okay you think it's do you think it's okay to deny access to children with no

00:09:39.840 evidence of a crime no evidence they never press charges no evidence i think it very much we should

00:09:46.640 just take take women's word amber heard's word oh that's another that's another thing 1.00

00:09:55.440 so it's like what are guys getting out of this

JustPearlyThings - August 05, 2023

She Blames Her Parents For Her Childhood Traumas

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