00:00:00.000your choice was to be a stay-at-home mom versus a working mom would anyone here
00:00:03.420prefer to be a working mom I feel like cuz I'm a working mom I feel like I would
00:00:11.760I don't know if I'd be comfortable staying at home all day I like to be I'm
00:00:16.980creative so I would like to maybe have a business or run something and be in
00:00:21.900charge of a business my own earnings basically and probably I'd be very bored
00:00:25.860at home I know there's a lot to do at home but it would just be very boring for
00:00:29.100me so I would like to have my own business or be active can I ask you a
00:00:32.820question why would you prefer to be creative and be active with someone
00:00:38.280else's business rather than be still creative no be my being a mother it'll
00:00:42.420be my business so being a mother yeah I would still be doing that but I feel
00:00:46.760like I would want something else of my own I wouldn't want to sit at home I get
00:00:52.620it people might want that their husband going out working and just living off
00:00:56.480him but at the same time I would like to have my own I can't I'm active I can't
00:01:00.200just sit at home cook clean it will get boring but then being a mother doesn't
00:01:03.980consist of sitting at home you have to raise I do know that I'm a mom but what
00:01:08.420I'm saying is I like to be a mom but also have something on the side I'm not
00:01:12.240saying I'll do it nine to five every single day or seven days a week but I'm
00:01:16.000saying I would like to have something so whether it's three days a week or if
00:01:19.660that's based on the experience that you want something in the back like as a
00:01:23.560backup because no it's not backup it's just my preference I like to be doing
00:01:27.040something I agree wouldn't you rather make money wouldn't you rather do the
00:01:30.880creative stuff with your kids yeah I'll do that too you can't do
00:01:34.300everything no but you can you can do as much as you you desire to do so that I
00:01:38.380could know from my own experiences I worked I worked two jobs at one time I
00:01:43.660still looked after my child's activities who watched the kid when you're at work
00:01:47.440she went to school and then I had her or her dad at the time but I'm what I'm
00:01:52.300saying is it depends but if when he finished work it all rotates what I'm
00:01:55.900saying is personally staying at home maybe five days a week and then two days
00:02:00.340I'm doing something of my own like creative with my daughter or showing her
00:02:04.260something that I like fashion so something like that or selling some just
00:02:07.600just something to keep me active I think when you're working like I work a lot and
00:02:11.320yeah I take responsibility and I believe that my child misses out a lot
00:02:15.480because I work so much I just think I just that's all I want to say really I
00:02:20.220just think it there's no way you can do both like I'm aware that my child misses
00:02:24.420out and I wouldn't choose this I will say I wouldn't choose it I take
00:02:27.580responsibility for the poor choices that I've made it and I'm accountable but I
00:02:31.860just think if I had a choice yeah if I could rewind and I'm younger and I make a
00:02:36.180better decision and I probably would make a better decision but obviously I'm I
00:02:39.840take responsibility you could ask your question you would stay at home every
00:02:42.500single day I love the idea of staying at home I'm very home orientated but I have
00:02:46.520to take responsibility for the poor choice that I made and I'm
00:02:50.300accountable but if I had a choice rewind in time which is what everyone would say
00:02:54.140my I'd say in this circumstances well most people I'm sure I don't know but I
00:02:59.100just that's my belief anyway what about after the because obviously you said that
00:03:04.080you had your child fairly young um can't you do the creative stuff when
00:03:09.360they're older like at like 16 why my question would be um why now why why when
00:03:15.920the child is is is younger um why not why now because there's no better time than
00:03:20.900now I don't know what I'm gonna I might want to be doing something different in
00:03:23.840do you believe that you can work and devote your whole time to your child you
00:03:29.460can't work do you believe your child's missing out when you're fulfilling
00:03:32.220yourself your business because I'm gonna take responsibility and say my child
00:03:36.420definitely misses out my my business is not like it doesn't require me to be
00:03:40.280present my business is from home and mine is even mine is and I work from home and
00:03:43.960I just hate the fact that I have to be on the computer I work now I work around my
00:03:47.700child because I'm fortunate enough to do that so she's missing out then no she's not
00:03:50.960missing out anymore because I'm more present now whereas before I work from home and I
00:03:55.440know how we finish I'm just saying working from home is work it's the same
00:03:59.300as being in an office your child okay it's not getting your attention okay so
00:04:03.360I work um I have a business okay fashion business okay um and I also work with my
00:04:09.120family so my family own a children's home so it's very flexible so I choose my
00:04:12.560working hours I can work when my daughter's at school so do I yeah my child
00:04:15.680don't go to school and I still believe that she misses out okay but personally I
00:04:19.320also okay so you're saying that she misses out however there is a percent when
00:04:23.220you're a single mom your child is gonna miss out however I make sure that I give
00:04:27.480she does gymnastics swimming dance and I take her to everything so not only that
00:04:32.080we go on holiday so we I know that she's gonna miss out but at the same time I
00:04:36.020fill in the spaces so when she's on half term I take off work I'm with her every
00:04:39.380single day so I can't be superwoman however I know that she's gonna miss out
00:04:43.880on certain days because I'm not present however I'm able to take off days and be
00:04:48.180with her and do extra stuff holidays activities she doesn't miss out any of
00:04:51.760that however if I'm gonna work she's gonna miss out on something it's it's
00:04:56.260not even if it was the other way around her dad she's gonna miss out on her dad
00:04:58.920So you'd prefer to work than be at home with your child? I prefer to work so I can provide for her
00:05:02.980what am I what do I want her to do just just look at the TV? So I'm saying if a man
00:05:06.000was providing for you and you was at home and you had a choice can you you said you
00:05:10.880would prefer to work still? I would still prefer to do something yeah because I'm
00:05:14.080active I don't I couldn't just sit at home even though your child needs you. No one said
00:05:17.500parenting is sitting at home it's not. No but what I'm saying to you is I
00:05:20.340couldn't just be at home drawing pictures of my daughter like I'd we do
00:05:24.420that anyway but I couldn't do that every single day it just wouldn't fulfill me.
00:05:27.960You could be like cooking with them you know yeah I could cook.
00:05:31.500Auntie Jenny will bring the kids over and they'll just like cook from scratch yes
00:05:35.220there's so much stuff you could do with your kids. There's so much stuff me and my
00:05:37.680daughter we do so much however I couldn't do that every single day it's
00:05:42.040just not me some women that's them. It's it's interesting so you said it would you
00:05:46.000get bored right yeah why do we never hear men talk about getting bored? What
00:05:50.260getting bored because they're not are they at home every day with their
00:05:52.840children? Bored of what? A lot of them are not the majority of them I feel like. We just never
00:05:57.400really hear men talk about getting bored in a relationship or getting bored at
00:06:00.440home even when they're single fathers. Yeah I get bored very easily I like I feel
00:06:04.340like I'm someone that has to be continuously doing something. Men definitely get bored that's why they cheat.
00:06:09.000How can you get bored of being a mother when that's what you're naturally supposed to do?
00:06:12.000No I'm not saying I'll get bored of being a mother I'll get bored of the routine. I get your point you want your own identity in your own self.
00:06:18.000It's not even that I just want to be able to I just don't want to be sitting at home
00:06:21.340okay wake up at six. Having a child at home I don't think having children is like you
00:06:25.880how could you get bored of having your child at home? I'm not saying you're not you're
00:06:28.620misinterpreted what I'm saying I'm not saying I'm getting bored of having my
00:06:31.260children I'll get bored of the same routine. So what do you need to get away? You don't have to do the same thing every day?
00:06:35.120No because I'll take my daughter with me. Yeah but who said you have to make it the same? Parenting is not the same every day.
00:06:39.200Okay maybe because of the lifestyle that I live so the job that I do is no day is the
00:06:42.500same so nothing is the same whereas if you're staying at home I feel like it
00:06:47.320would just be it just wouldn't suit me. Depends how you define a home life then? I suppose but for me it just wouldn't
00:06:54.160what I imagine for a staying at home mom wake up every day look after your children
00:06:58.960cook clean provide that's what I'm imagining. So what is it what's your opinion? Is that even when you've got that high value man that's providing
00:07:06.200everything or is that if he's just earning a like less than that what? I didn't actually think of it
00:07:12.520like that yeah that's the first thing that came to my head. Maybe that's what it is because I feel
00:07:15.860like if you you had that option of to sit at home and your husband's working and you're
00:07:20.100looked after I don't think you would want to do that maybe I don't know. Because I'm quite business
00:07:25.520minded I would still want to run something. I'm very business I've run businesses since I was like
00:07:30.240yeah but me and you are different. But what I'm saying is I'm very ambitious but when my
00:07:36.660man was at home like I don't want to do nothing I just want to be with my child like all day I
00:07:41.420want to spend as much time as I can my man looks after me and like if my man's ambitious like me
00:07:45.980which he was like I just want to support what he's doing to get it I want him to do better
00:07:50.600so like all my energy then is going to my man because like we can build together as a family
00:07:56.120and you're building a unit. So then what would you have for yourself? Yeah. My family that's
00:07:59.940everything. Yeah but see she values her kind of success and her career she wants to make something.
00:08:06.520That's more like a modern mindset because it's me before the family where she's saying it's
00:08:10.020she's saying it's the family before me. I put family first. Family for me if you know who knows
00:08:15.060me I'm very big on family I'm very family. This is my cousin sitting beside me we're very together.
00:08:19.300But I'm asking you a question that that that and you're saying I would rather do something for me
00:08:24.340versus the family. No I'm not saying that I would say no because because we asked if you would choose
00:08:28.660to work. What I said is I wouldn't work it wouldn't be working. If you had the option to be with your
00:08:33.800family versus versus a job. But what I'm saying was I your business it would be a business that
00:08:39.980doesn't require much of me so I could still be one day. It's not possible. No there is possible to set up
00:08:47.180something and it doesn't have to I don't have to be present. I've got businesses like that I work from
00:08:51.920home do the work once and I never have to touch it again but but there's always that element and I
00:08:57.580could sit and ask my child which I do sometimes I talk to her would you prefer mommy to be like
00:09:01.760this because yeah wish you could put the laptop down I wish you could do this because all she
00:09:05.720sees at home is me working but that's the role I have to live by. But that's now that's now that's
00:09:10.820not what I'm saying what I'm saying to you is there's there's no way you can have a business
00:09:15.180without putting any time in it if that was easy we'd all have money and we wouldn't have to worry
00:09:19.120about nothing. I'm not saying about putting any time in it but I would reduce my time because I
00:09:22.560would understand that I'm a stay at home mum. I reduce my time I've cut my hours to spend more time
00:09:26.960with my child. Okay but I'm talking about in that sense so you said I will stay at home I would make
00:09:31.280sure that okay two days a week I would devote to my business and the rest I'll be at home looking
00:09:35.140after my child. That is just my preference I can't imagine and it might be lovely. So you value your career
00:09:40.960more than your family. No I don't value my career. I value my family a lot. I also think it's important
00:09:47.040I think we're forgetting that it's quite important. That's 30% of the time almost. Pardon me? That's 30%
00:09:51.600of the time you would devote to the work instead of two days a week. 28.5. I would do two days a week
00:09:58.340and that would be satisfying for me. That's why she's at school as well. And also she would be at school
00:10:02.760so she wouldn't actually be missing out on much because she's at school. But the whole point is a more
00:10:06.820traditional mindset. It would be to stay at the family. When you look up the definition of a
00:10:12.840modern mindset versus a traditional mindset. Traditional mindset is the family before me
00:10:16.880or modern is me before the family. And your answer is modern. I'm not saying you're. I don't even send
00:10:23.820my child to school because I don't get when mums say can't wait for the kids to go back to school
00:10:28.380kicking them out. Like I do not understand that. So how old is your child if you don't mind? My daughter's eight
00:10:32.200she's not going to school. How does she do you homeschool her? I homeschool her but I just
00:10:36.820I want I want my child to be a reflection of my family upbringing. I don't want anyone else's
00:10:41.040input. Like I don't I don't understand why someone would couldn't wait to get the kids
00:10:45.540for eight hours a day. For my opinion school is not I don't send my child to school because
00:10:49.980I don't want to be around them. I feel like it's good for their upbringing. Yeah I understand
00:10:53.480everyone's got their own preference but I don't get it but I can't I can't get my head around it. Maybe
00:10:57.360the way I answered it came across that our family is me before family. No because I'll be spending. It does come across like that.
00:11:03.040Okay but it comes across overall overall it would be I'll be spending more time with my family because
00:11:08.000the type of business I'm thinking of my daughter can come with me. We can I can show her the way. I can show
00:11:12.520Yeah but they still miss out because they get a level of business. I understand there's advantages
00:11:16.300as well in terms of business but they're missing out on childhood because my daughter is more business
00:11:20.640oriented than a normal person. She's very mature for her age. Well my daughter isn't. She's six and she's not.
00:11:25.580Mine is. I work from home. Yeah but I also feel like it's important to show kids like a good work
00:11:32.100ethic. Like look mummy works. She makes money. But that's if you want your children to be that way
00:11:37.300when they're older. Can I ask something? No I want my daughter to look at me and be like mum's
00:11:41.560successful. So you want a career. So you're valuing career over family because you want your children
00:11:45.980to be career. But you said you don't want your child to miss out on her childhood but she's not going
00:11:50.460to school. So like where does she like interact with other children? She interacts with other
00:11:53.760children. She's got family. She's got cousins. So she does interact with her family? No and she
00:11:58.080goes to groups and classes. I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:12:05.100on this platform. If you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below. Every donation helps
00:12:12.760and it helps make what we do possible.