JustPearlyThings - She Claims that Being A Mother Is Boring

00:00:00.000 your choice was to be a stay-at-home mom versus a working mom would anyone here 0.99

00:00:03.420 prefer to be a working mom I feel like cuz I'm a working mom I feel like I would

00:00:11.760 I don't know if I'd be comfortable staying at home all day I like to be I'm

00:00:16.980 creative so I would like to maybe have a business or run something and be in

00:00:21.900 charge of a business my own earnings basically and probably I'd be very bored

00:00:25.860 at home I know there's a lot to do at home but it would just be very boring for

00:00:29.100 me so I would like to have my own business or be active can I ask you a

00:00:32.820 question why would you prefer to be creative and be active with someone

00:00:38.280 else's business rather than be still creative no be my being a mother it'll

00:00:42.420 be my business so being a mother yeah I would still be doing that but I feel

00:00:46.760 like I would want something else of my own I wouldn't want to sit at home I get

00:00:52.620 it people might want that their husband going out working and just living off 0.99

00:00:56.480 him but at the same time I would like to have my own I can't I'm active I can't

00:01:00.200 just sit at home cook clean it will get boring but then being a mother doesn't 0.99

00:01:03.980 consist of sitting at home you have to raise I do know that I'm a mom but what

00:01:08.420 I'm saying is I like to be a mom but also have something on the side I'm not

00:01:12.240 saying I'll do it nine to five every single day or seven days a week but I'm

00:01:16.000 saying I would like to have something so whether it's three days a week or if

00:01:19.660 that's based on the experience that you want something in the back like as a

00:01:23.560 backup because no it's not backup it's just my preference I like to be doing

00:01:27.040 something I agree wouldn't you rather make money wouldn't you rather do the

00:01:30.880 creative stuff with your kids yeah I'll do that too you can't do

00:01:34.300 everything no but you can you can do as much as you you desire to do so that I

00:01:38.380 could know from my own experiences I worked I worked two jobs at one time I

00:01:43.660 still looked after my child's activities who watched the kid when you're at work

00:01:47.440 she went to school and then I had her or her dad at the time but I'm what I'm

00:01:52.300 saying is it depends but if when he finished work it all rotates what I'm

00:01:55.900 saying is personally staying at home maybe five days a week and then two days

00:02:00.340 I'm doing something of my own like creative with my daughter or showing her

00:02:04.260 something that I like fashion so something like that or selling some just

00:02:07.600 just something to keep me active I think when you're working like I work a lot and

00:02:11.320 yeah I take responsibility and I believe that my child misses out a lot

00:02:15.480 because I work so much I just think I just that's all I want to say really I

00:02:20.220 just think it there's no way you can do both like I'm aware that my child misses

00:02:24.420 out and I wouldn't choose this I will say I wouldn't choose it I take

00:02:27.580 responsibility for the poor choices that I've made it and I'm accountable but I

00:02:31.860 just think if I had a choice yeah if I could rewind and I'm younger and I make a

00:02:36.180 better decision and I probably would make a better decision but obviously I'm I

00:02:39.840 take responsibility you could ask your question you would stay at home every

00:02:42.500 single day I love the idea of staying at home I'm very home orientated but I have

00:02:46.520 to take responsibility for the poor choice that I made and I'm

00:02:50.300 accountable but if I had a choice rewind in time which is what everyone would say

00:02:54.140 my I'd say in this circumstances well most people I'm sure I don't know but I

00:02:59.100 just that's my belief anyway what about after the because obviously you said that

00:03:04.080 you had your child fairly young um can't you do the creative stuff when

00:03:09.360 they're older like at like 16 why my question would be um why now why why when

00:03:15.920 the child is is is younger um why not why now because there's no better time than

00:03:20.900 now I don't know what I'm gonna I might want to be doing something different in

00:03:23.840 do you believe that you can work and devote your whole time to your child you

00:03:29.460 can't work do you believe your child's missing out when you're fulfilling

00:03:32.220 yourself your business because I'm gonna take responsibility and say my child

00:03:36.420 definitely misses out my my business is not like it doesn't require me to be

00:03:40.280 present my business is from home and mine is even mine is and I work from home and

00:03:43.960 I just hate the fact that I have to be on the computer I work now I work around my

00:03:47.700 child because I'm fortunate enough to do that so she's missing out then no she's not

00:03:50.960 missing out anymore because I'm more present now whereas before I work from home and I

00:03:55.440 know how we finish I'm just saying working from home is work it's the same

00:03:59.300 as being in an office your child okay it's not getting your attention okay so

00:04:03.360 I work um I have a business okay fashion business okay um and I also work with my

00:04:09.120 family so my family own a children's home so it's very flexible so I choose my

00:04:12.560 working hours I can work when my daughter's at school so do I yeah my child 0.62

00:04:15.680 don't go to school and I still believe that she misses out okay but personally I

00:04:19.320 also okay so you're saying that she misses out however there is a percent when 0.92

00:04:23.220 you're a single mom your child is gonna miss out however I make sure that I give

00:04:27.480 she does gymnastics swimming dance and I take her to everything so not only that

00:04:32.080 we go on holiday so we I know that she's gonna miss out but at the same time I

00:04:36.020 fill in the spaces so when she's on half term I take off work I'm with her every

00:04:39.380 single day so I can't be superwoman however I know that she's gonna miss out 0.95

00:04:43.880 on certain days because I'm not present however I'm able to take off days and be

00:04:48.180 with her and do extra stuff holidays activities she doesn't miss out any of

00:04:51.760 that however if I'm gonna work she's gonna miss out on something it's it's

00:04:56.260 not even if it was the other way around her dad she's gonna miss out on her dad

00:04:58.920 So you'd prefer to work than be at home with your child? I prefer to work so I can provide for her 1.00

00:05:02.980 what am I what do I want her to do just just look at the TV? So I'm saying if a man 1.00

00:05:06.000 was providing for you and you was at home and you had a choice can you you said you

00:05:10.880 would prefer to work still? I would still prefer to do something yeah because I'm

00:05:14.080 active I don't I couldn't just sit at home even though your child needs you. No one said

00:05:17.500 parenting is sitting at home it's not. No but what I'm saying to you is I

00:05:20.340 couldn't just be at home drawing pictures of my daughter like I'd we do

00:05:24.420 that anyway but I couldn't do that every single day it just wouldn't fulfill me.

00:05:27.960 You could be like cooking with them you know yeah I could cook.

00:05:31.500 Auntie Jenny will bring the kids over and they'll just like cook from scratch yes 1.00

00:05:35.220 there's so much stuff you could do with your kids. There's so much stuff me and my

00:05:37.680 daughter we do so much however I couldn't do that every single day it's

00:05:42.040 just not me some women that's them. It's it's interesting so you said it would you 0.99

00:05:46.000 get bored right yeah why do we never hear men talk about getting bored? What

00:05:50.260 getting bored because they're not are they at home every day with their

00:05:52.840 children? Bored of what? A lot of them are not the majority of them I feel like. We just never

00:05:57.400 really hear men talk about getting bored in a relationship or getting bored at

00:06:00.440 home even when they're single fathers. Yeah I get bored very easily I like I feel

00:06:04.340 like I'm someone that has to be continuously doing something. Men definitely get bored that's why they cheat.

00:06:09.000 How can you get bored of being a mother when that's what you're naturally supposed to do? 1.00

00:06:12.000 No I'm not saying I'll get bored of being a mother I'll get bored of the routine. I get your point you want your own identity in your own self.

00:06:18.000 It's not even that I just want to be able to I just don't want to be sitting at home

00:06:21.340 okay wake up at six. Having a child at home I don't think having children is like you

00:06:25.880 how could you get bored of having your child at home? I'm not saying you're not you're

00:06:28.620 misinterpreted what I'm saying I'm not saying I'm getting bored of having my

00:06:31.260 children I'll get bored of the same routine. So what do you need to get away? You don't have to do the same thing every day?

00:06:35.120 No because I'll take my daughter with me. Yeah but who said you have to make it the same? Parenting is not the same every day.

00:06:39.200 Okay maybe because of the lifestyle that I live so the job that I do is no day is the

00:06:42.500 same so nothing is the same whereas if you're staying at home I feel like it

00:06:47.320 would just be it just wouldn't suit me. Depends how you define a home life then? I suppose but for me it just wouldn't

00:06:54.160 what I imagine for a staying at home mom wake up every day look after your children 0.96

00:06:58.960 cook clean provide that's what I'm imagining. So what is it what's your opinion? Is that even when you've got that high value man that's providing

00:07:06.200 everything or is that if he's just earning a like less than that what? I didn't actually think of it

00:07:12.520 like that yeah that's the first thing that came to my head. Maybe that's what it is because I feel

00:07:15.860 like if you you had that option of to sit at home and your husband's working and you're

00:07:20.100 looked after I don't think you would want to do that maybe I don't know. Because I'm quite business

00:07:25.520 minded I would still want to run something. I'm very business I've run businesses since I was like

00:07:30.240 yeah but me and you are different. But what I'm saying is I'm very ambitious but when my

00:07:36.660 man was at home like I don't want to do nothing I just want to be with my child like all day I

00:07:41.420 want to spend as much time as I can my man looks after me and like if my man's ambitious like me

00:07:45.980 which he was like I just want to support what he's doing to get it I want him to do better

00:07:50.600 so like all my energy then is going to my man because like we can build together as a family

00:07:56.120 and you're building a unit. So then what would you have for yourself? Yeah. My family that's

00:07:59.940 everything. Yeah but see she values her kind of success and her career she wants to make something. 1.00

00:08:06.520 That's more like a modern mindset because it's me before the family where she's saying it's

00:08:10.020 she's saying it's the family before me. I put family first. Family for me if you know who knows

00:08:15.060 me I'm very big on family I'm very family. This is my cousin sitting beside me we're very together.

00:08:19.300 But I'm asking you a question that that that and you're saying I would rather do something for me

00:08:24.340 versus the family. No I'm not saying that I would say no because because we asked if you would choose

00:08:28.660 to work. What I said is I wouldn't work it wouldn't be working. If you had the option to be with your

00:08:33.800 family versus versus a job. But what I'm saying was I your business it would be a business that

00:08:39.980 doesn't require much of me so I could still be one day. It's not possible. No there is possible to set up

00:08:47.180 something and it doesn't have to I don't have to be present. I've got businesses like that I work from

00:08:51.920 home do the work once and I never have to touch it again but but there's always that element and I

00:08:57.580 could sit and ask my child which I do sometimes I talk to her would you prefer mommy to be like 0.99

00:09:01.760 this because yeah wish you could put the laptop down I wish you could do this because all she

00:09:05.720 sees at home is me working but that's the role I have to live by. But that's now that's now that's

00:09:10.820 not what I'm saying what I'm saying to you is there's there's no way you can have a business

00:09:15.180 without putting any time in it if that was easy we'd all have money and we wouldn't have to worry

00:09:19.120 about nothing. I'm not saying about putting any time in it but I would reduce my time because I

00:09:22.560 would understand that I'm a stay at home mum. I reduce my time I've cut my hours to spend more time

00:09:26.960 with my child. Okay but I'm talking about in that sense so you said I will stay at home I would make

00:09:31.280 sure that okay two days a week I would devote to my business and the rest I'll be at home looking

00:09:35.140 after my child. That is just my preference I can't imagine and it might be lovely. So you value your career

00:09:40.960 more than your family. No I don't value my career. I value my family a lot. I also think it's important

00:09:47.040 I think we're forgetting that it's quite important. That's 30% of the time almost. Pardon me? That's 30%

00:09:51.600 of the time you would devote to the work instead of two days a week. 28.5. I would do two days a week

00:09:58.340 and that would be satisfying for me. That's why she's at school as well. And also she would be at school

00:10:02.760 so she wouldn't actually be missing out on much because she's at school. But the whole point is a more

00:10:06.820 traditional mindset. It would be to stay at the family. When you look up the definition of a

00:10:12.840 modern mindset versus a traditional mindset. Traditional mindset is the family before me

00:10:16.880 or modern is me before the family. And your answer is modern. I'm not saying you're. I don't even send

00:10:23.820 my child to school because I don't get when mums say can't wait for the kids to go back to school

00:10:28.380 kicking them out. Like I do not understand that. So how old is your child if you don't mind? My daughter's eight

00:10:32.200 she's not going to school. How does she do you homeschool her? I homeschool her but I just 0.88

00:10:36.820 I want I want my child to be a reflection of my family upbringing. I don't want anyone else's

00:10:41.040 input. Like I don't I don't understand why someone would couldn't wait to get the kids

00:10:45.540 for eight hours a day. For my opinion school is not I don't send my child to school because

00:10:49.980 I don't want to be around them. I feel like it's good for their upbringing. Yeah I understand

00:10:53.480 everyone's got their own preference but I don't get it but I can't I can't get my head around it. Maybe

00:10:57.360 the way I answered it came across that our family is me before family. No because I'll be spending. It does come across like that.

00:11:03.040 Okay but it comes across overall overall it would be I'll be spending more time with my family because

00:11:08.000 the type of business I'm thinking of my daughter can come with me. We can I can show her the way. I can show

00:11:12.520 Yeah but they still miss out because they get a level of business. I understand there's advantages

00:11:16.300 as well in terms of business but they're missing out on childhood because my daughter is more business 0.63

00:11:20.640 oriented than a normal person. She's very mature for her age. Well my daughter isn't. She's six and she's not.

00:11:25.580 Mine is. I work from home. Yeah but I also feel like it's important to show kids like a good work

00:11:32.100 ethic. Like look mummy works. She makes money. But that's if you want your children to be that way 1.00

00:11:37.300 when they're older. Can I ask something? No I want my daughter to look at me and be like mum's

00:11:41.560 successful. So you want a career. So you're valuing career over family because you want your children

00:11:45.980 to be career. But you said you don't want your child to miss out on her childhood but she's not going

00:11:50.460 to school. So like where does she like interact with other children? She interacts with other

00:11:53.760 children. She's got family. She's got cousins. So she does interact with her family? No and she

00:11:58.080 goes to groups and classes. I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis

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JustPearlyThings - April 03, 2023

She Claims that Being A Mother Is Boring

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