JustPearlyThings - She Coud NOT Accept This Fact and This HAPPENED

00:00:00.000 you also mentioned how you can do both i have an example for you say for example i wanted to have

00:00:04.800 a six pack and you know compete for the olympics can i do both things like be at mcdonald's every

00:00:10.400 three times a week or it's kind of the same on the rare occasion yeah i can i feel like because

00:00:15.920 i've got a low metabolism what i'm trying to say is like when you have an end goal and you have an

00:00:21.680 end point when you focus on other things it hinders you getting to that point so what i'm trying to

00:00:26.800 say is for the ladies who's um you know your your goal is to just to be a career woman i feel like

00:00:31.600 focusing on your career and traveling that will work for you but if your end goal is to like be

00:00:35.520 your wife like i'm saying your end goal that's what you want when you settle down that you have 0.99

00:00:40.560 to make them steps to actually work towards that yeah and i think that's where modern women get it 1.00

00:00:45.040 like you know messed up so going back to that example like if my end goal was to have a six

00:00:49.280 pack does it make sense to be um balancing mcdonald's and salad um you know the half of

00:00:54.320 the week no way that makes sense but i disagree in that in that sense i don't see anything wrong

00:00:59.600 with finding like you you know we are interested let's get married let's let's grow up together

00:01:05.280 i you know it's fine there's nothing if you're young of course you can still focus on university or

00:01:12.240 all your career but if you're all that's a different story it's like you should have had it

00:01:16.080 it's too late now yeah but it's fine it's fine in the moment but when you're like 30 and you're single

00:01:21.600 like is it still going to be fine what do you mean so like you're saying like having fun and whatever

00:01:26.000 is fine single um by 30 should have your life together okay i have a question if you want you

00:01:32.160 you said you want to be married you'd be married absolutely how many dates do you go on in a week

00:01:36.080 um i don't you don't okay so how on earth would you get the results of married if you don't do

00:01:41.920 anything to get there it's hard is he just going to magically find you at your parents house

00:01:46.000 that's so funny my brother yesterday so i was like look fine um i find it a bit hard because i

00:01:54.400 i just find i feel i think my husband is just not in london you know okay sorry i feel like it's a

00:02:00.080 bit hard i feel like the way i think and the standards and the way i brought up i don't think

00:02:04.720 they got the same it's gonna be a bit harder for me okay so so there's instagram there's dating apps

00:02:10.240 where you can switch your location there's matchmakers yeah like how how on earth would you get the

00:02:14.640 result of marrying i'm happy to get married uh what is it called when um sorry arrange marriage

00:02:20.000 i'm happy no i'm happy if my mom comes have you said to your parents i want an arranged marriage

00:02:25.360 set this up and what do they say mom is mom is still looking for me mom is in her own country right

00:02:31.040 now finding me the right husband some and it's better because your parents would choose some my mom 1.00

00:02:36.800 doesn't want me to be in danger my mom doesn't want to see me do bad yeah but what if you're not your

00:02:42.240 type you look him you think that for me for me i think marriage is about security it's about

00:02:46.880 creating a a safe place for your child you have to be attractive come on like

00:02:53.760 i think the biggest problem i think for me and you know that for me it's all about character i can

00:02:57.680 look at some and be like uh and then and you know and then grow to like and then oh do you know what

00:03:02.240 yeah so i can't judge in the beginning but what if he's not your type though like genuinely is it an

00:03:08.000 arranged marriage is a surprise you've seen it you still need to be average you know this is this

00:03:12.880 is actually the reason like women end up single because women in their 20s we typically select for 1.00

00:03:17.840 looks we're in our 30s typically okay i'm not talking about you um typically in our 20 how tall is your

00:03:25.200 boyfriend um he's like 5 11. okay so so 5 11. okay so still top 20 percent of height yes you do um

00:03:34.080 okay that's what they say you don't listen to what women say watch what they do um okay so typically 0.99

00:03:39.840 in our 20s like so it's interesting because we're in a monogamous society technically that's what we

00:03:44.960 think but we're really in a non-monogamous society because women don't get married till the age of 31. 1.00

00:03:49.200 so we pick and women um who's in control of sex women women right so we pick non-monogamy in our 20s 1.00

00:03:56.160 which is when we have the most to offer to men right and we typically select for looks which is

00:04:00.800 the top 20 percent of men well when we get to our 30s that's when we start looking for security so

00:04:05.280 then that expands to the top like 50 60 percent of men um and so but basically what happens is the top

00:04:11.040 20 percent of men run through the girls in their 20s and then like we pick the nice guy after i think 0.66

00:04:17.040 the biggest pandemic of today is delusion i'm sorry to say that because i feel like with women today we 1.00

00:04:23.920 have this idea on our head that the perfect guy is just gonna drop on our laps and we're just gonna get

00:04:28.240 married when we want and we don't realize that there's actual actionable steps like everything

00:04:33.920 in life you have to work for it you have to make changes and it kind of upsets me that sometimes

00:04:38.240 people have this idea in their head where just like well i don't have to think about this so i don't

00:04:42.000 have to consider a man's opinion and you kind of do it in order to achieve any goal in life not just

00:04:47.360 relationships so i feel like yeah that's just my point okay if if you're applying for a job you don't

00:04:52.560 care what the employer thinks yeah you don't think a wife is a job i do actually i think a housewife

00:05:04.160 is a job okay so i think it is yeah so again you don't have to care what the employer thinks when

00:05:08.080 you're looking to be hired but that's that specific but then the employer is i'm not i'm not thinking

00:05:13.120 about what the whole of sony thinks of me i'm thinking about what the managing director of that

00:05:18.080 department thinks of me okay but you still have to to figure out what they want right and care about

00:05:24.240 what they want to an extent but it's not as rigid as that like it's a relationship you know so i just

00:05:29.600 feel like a relationship you shouldn't care about what they want of course you should okay so you do

00:05:35.360 have to care yeah but how would you know that without meeting them you we're just assuming at this

00:05:40.160 point you talk to men and ask them what they want no but you're saying like in a sense that before

00:05:44.560 as we're navigating we want the same type of stuff are you talking about arranged marriage

00:05:48.640 no no i'm talking about like when you're single and you're young you're navigating you're traveling

00:05:52.000 you're saying i should be thinking as each each day every step i take what all the men on my

00:05:56.240 instagram are thinking of me as i'm going to france as i'm doing this as i'm doing what i think

00:06:00.400 it is yeah of course carry yourself in the best way i don't by the way i'm not i'm not condoning like

00:06:06.080 being a whore and i'm just saying the realistic thing of just enjoying and living your life and 0.89

00:06:11.280 learning who you are before getting with somebody because what you don't want is to just get with

00:06:16.160 somebody at 21 and then you've never lived and then you get to 40 you realize you're not compatible

00:06:20.960 you never even lived your life what results does that yield though as women as women have pushed the 1.00

00:06:26.000 age of marriage up and up and up and found themselves before the divorce rate goes up and up and up so it

00:06:32.320 doesn't like the results aren't there did we not slightly as humans like create this idea of marriage

00:06:40.880 i was going to say that and monogamy where really it like obviously you see in in the animal kingdom

00:06:46.800 that's for example you see a lot of obviously you know the male lion goes out and the lioness looks

00:06:53.040 after the cubs but that lion wasn't wouldn't stay with that lioness for the whole of his life where

00:06:58.960 else apart from penguins there's a couple of little animals that do it but you actually don't see

00:07:03.440 monogamy really in any other thing is this not something that we've created out of religion out of

00:07:08.800 like is this not something that humans have created i don't know this is just me just speaking

00:07:14.960 i talked to a biologist or he wrote this book called the history of sex the other day so i'm

00:07:19.360 trying to recite it right but he basically said that when we were um more intertwined with like

00:07:24.960 animals because like we came from like chimps or whatever it was super non-monogamous but actually

00:07:29.760 the majority of human history has been monogamous for 85 percent of the population however the top 15

00:07:36.400 percent of women um or the top 15 of men have been in non-monogamous relationships so um essentially

00:07:43.600 now the top like we're going more towards a non-monogamy because again women are choosing 1.00

00:07:47.680 non-monogamy in their 20s where we most women used to pick monogamy but now that's something that we 0.99

00:07:53.360 created like was that something that we actually assumed through thousands and thousands of years you

00:07:58.000 go right back to you know the romans when they had wives is this not something that we've created

00:08:03.440 yeah i think so i don't think it's something we created i think it's something that's just

00:08:07.760 it's just a thought i actually don't know that i'm not saying this like i actually know what i'm on

00:08:11.040 about i'm just it's just it's just it's something that's actually baffled me for a long time like

00:08:14.640 you actually look at animal kingdom where where else do you actually see this idea of marriage and

00:08:19.600 and when you actually look at a lot of it has come when you when you go and get married it's in a

00:08:23.120 church or a union in thailand it's in a temple so a lot of it comes down to something i just think it's the best for

00:08:30.160 building families and i think it's i honestly think it's a natural like at least from women to

00:08:34.880 men i don't know i'm just like i don't i don't know any animal that really it's actually it's

00:08:40.880 actually because um these kind of constructs are necessary for society to exist because without us

00:08:48.960 being monogamous and all of that if you were to look in the animal kingdom where monogamy doesn't exist

00:08:54.000 the males have to fight each other usually to the death to get sex and human beings can't function

00:08:59.600 in that way because what then happens that's interesting is that society can't stand so

00:09:04.880 that's the reason it's not that's a fair point again is this is not again something it's still

00:09:09.200 constructive though so that doesn't deny the temptation or the ability to then look elsewhere

00:09:15.520 but you know i mean it's still a contract been consciously aware that that we wouldn't be able to

00:09:20.480 function it used to be a compromise of our mating strategies because like what's what's the female 0.53

00:09:29.280 mating strategy to get the best guy you possibly can right you to get the best genes right or the 0.99

00:09:34.080 best resources right that's women to get attention from from men right so um it used to be that like 1.00

00:09:40.560 women would bring purity and youth so they would come to the like marriage and they would say i'm not 0.99

00:09:44.240 going to sleep with anyone else and i'm going to stay with you for your lifetime and i'm not going 0.97

00:09:48.480 like i'm not going to try to go higher and higher and higher and the men used to come in and say

00:09:52.560 you know i'm not going to sleep with anyone else because their mating strategy is to sleep with a 1.00

00:09:56.560 bunch of different women so it used to be a compromise but the problem is women don't bring 1.00

00:10:00.240 purity anymore because what percent of women are virgins so it's kind of an unequal exchange because

00:10:04.560 most men out earn most women most men still have to protect most women but women don't bring the 1.00

00:10:09.280 purity or the youth and like that's why i think we see men walking away from marriage because like

00:10:13.360 honestly women like what what do modern women bring to the table not much like what percent of women 1.00

00:10:18.640 have the skills of our grand or grandmothers and great grandmothers where we can we have a full

00:10:22.400 cookbook and we can cook where we're virgins where we um you know we can sew guard like all of the 0.95

00:10:28.400 traditional skills women don't have anymore but the problem is women still want to be courted 1.00

00:10:32.560 like traditional women even though we're not i do i do agree i think to answer that and the funny thing is

00:10:37.840 as well now when it gets hard they're running away so you get married back in the days they will work

00:10:43.600 and work and work until we can make it and that's why women bring less to the table because that used 1.00

00:10:48.800 to be the thing that the man got even if she wasn't a virgin he's like you know if we get married she 1.00

00:10:53.440 cannot leave me but now 80 of women are um 80 of women half of marriages end in divorce and women 0.85

00:11:01.120 leave 80 percent of the time children with them and they take the kids and their money so that's why we see

00:11:06.480 less and less men getting married today but we also have to look at why is the the generation

00:11:11.840 society also they're not teaching you in schools what are they teaching you they're not teaching

00:11:16.240 you how to how to how to wash how to sew how to do all of these things as a woman so when you come

00:11:21.680 out of school you don't know what you're doing your mom and your dad's not together do you know what i

00:11:25.760 mean no i think i think there's an agenda right but but but it still doesn't change the product yeah and

00:11:31.920 and the truth is the product of women as a whole is just worse than ever before no i agree and also 0.77

00:11:37.280 factor in the fact that everything is very convenient so like you've got a dishwasher you've got you can

00:11:42.000 just go up the road everything has changed you don't even have to have those skills anymore because

00:11:46.400 it's not it's not a necessity back then it was a necessity to have these skills yeah but the problem

00:11:50.800 is like what kind i disagree with it and i wish it was like that that's the thing i'm actually super old

00:11:54.800 school in so many ways like i wish so many of the habits we had today would just come back to how it

00:11:59.920 was i don't actually like the way things are going i don't so but i just have to also be aware

00:12:06.240 of what what we have right now and also to answer your question um about whether it was created i

00:12:11.040 don't think it was something that was created i think it's something that's just natural and just

00:12:14.480 work i think what was created was the idea to actually go against it and go against the family

00:12:19.600 structure i think yes what has been that's what's happened and i feel like if we go back to like just

00:12:23.840 statistics if we look at modern society today and you know how that divorce rates are skyrocketing

00:12:30.800 what has that done to society like society is literally falling apart do you know what i mean

00:12:34.800 so i feel like it's something that's natural and it's something that works and it's definitely not

00:12:38.880 something that just we just decided let's just create it i think that's all been that's all been

00:12:43.120 done for a reason exactly because your kids are getting taken away from you from young for a reason

00:12:48.480 there's a reason why dishwashers and all of these things have been created is to split up the families

00:12:53.840 so that they can take you on board and they can raise you to what they want you to be do you get

00:12:59.520 what i'm saying so now you're not with your husband and your and your children raising them how you want

00:13:04.080 they're going to take them from young yeah for me for me i think you don't get to be a traditional

00:13:08.240 woman anymore i think for me no i think women choose not to be traditional women that is true but it's also

00:13:14.160 a bit of both no i think i think women kind of use excuses for yeah yeah yeah like okay i'll give 1.00

00:13:19.760 you an example one in three women have had an abortion do traditional women go abort their 0.98

00:13:24.640 children they wouldn't have done that no and so it's like those those are like we constantly make

00:13:28.480 choice after choice after choice that makes us less all by yourself even if you're you get out in

00:13:32.720 the world at 18 there's nothing stopping you from learning how to cook learning how to clean so you

00:13:36.720 know studying what men want and study what women want all the time there's a million self-improvement

00:13:42.480 things for guys there's a million dating courses for guys all the women dating like self-help it's 1.00

00:13:48.400 literally just reaffirming women there's no actual actionable steps it's just like be confident yeah

00:13:53.760 and society can lead you to be exactly what i just said but then on the other hand it's what you just

00:13:58.640 said it's for you to fight for what's right you can either go down the easy path or the hard path

00:14:04.160 it's up to you and what you choose to do as a woman i think like feminist what is it called 1.00

00:14:10.080 feminism feminism has ruined a lot of like traditional women and as has ruined us as well 1.00

00:14:16.320 um i'll give an example even like working i'll give an example working um now i'm working as them as a

00:14:22.960 mom and you're working as a dad sorry i'm gonna take care of the kids yeah exactly now someone else

00:14:28.400 gonna program our children and not just that i'm paying tax and he's paying tax it's it's we're trapped

00:14:35.040 it's it's not supposed to right but that's why i think being like a housewife when you have kids

00:14:39.680 is actually essential like i think that is so important to just be with your kids during those

00:14:44.720 at least during those first like very incremental years of their lives like i'm not saying it just

00:14:49.520 for sure i'm saying because i actually want to look after you my kids the thing is women have always 1.00

00:14:54.160 worked they just worked in the home true and the man paying a lot of things like women like they think 1.00

00:14:59.520 they're just gonna do nothing as a house but it's so true like you know what our grandmothers great

00:15:05.440 grandmothers had to maybe great great grandmothers great great like they worked on the farm yeah i want

00:15:10.160 an allotment i want like all of this when i at my house i'm not here you're gonna be sitting listen

00:15:15.120 i don't even do that now i don't sit on my ass that's the thing so i know what i bring to the 0.89

00:15:18.880 table i i cater to my man literally in this day and age you have social media as well so if you're sitting

00:15:24.480 at home as a as a you know stay at home mom yeah you can also have your own business you can

00:15:30.240 there's so many things that you can do how do you how do you cater to your man if you don't care what 0.97

00:15:34.560 men want because i don't care what other men want i care what he wants yeah but most men are the same

00:15:41.280 well he's not i have a question for you if you think you're an average woman why wouldn't you date 1.00

00:15:47.840 an average man like a bus driver that's an average man the reason why is because i don't aspire to stay

00:15:54.240 average that's why that's why i am i want to become an above average person so if i just date

00:15:59.760 an average man more than likely we are going to stay on that level yeah but how old are you you said

00:16:03.680 you're 23 23 yeah you're only going to get less average from now you're not going to get better do

00:16:08.480 you think so no you're i mean women fertility you're just going to get less and less fertile the older you 1.00

00:16:13.760 get like women like if you look at women on dating apps like half of your options are gone by 30. 0.94

00:16:20.160 like half of the options you have at like 21 or 22. if you look at like men from the ages of 20 to 80

00:16:26.000 they ask them what age they find women the most attractive it's like 22 23. and uh some say 18

00:16:31.520 some say lower than 18 is a little but if you don't tell them the age but like actually yeah it's just

00:16:37.440 gonna get worse like you you have the most value you're ever gonna have about now really yeah i mean

00:16:41.920 personally i feel like i'm doing that work right now it's not a thing where i'm just sitting on my bum just

00:16:46.160 doing nothing not trying to manage myself i'm definitely doing the work now and i'm hopeful

00:16:50.320 of the fact that i will actually find someone because um yeah that's what i definitely feel

00:16:55.760 like i will find someone before that time i'm not like a silly girl that just sits down and does

00:16:59.520 nothing i'm realistic i know the actionable steps that i need to take i'm taking those steps and it's

00:17:04.880 definitely working for me and i'm curious what steps are you taking so one thing i'm definitely

00:17:10.080 trying to do is lose weight i definitely want to get in shape another thing i'm trying to do is i want to

00:17:14.560 learn how to cook especially traditional food another thing i'm trying to do is grow closer

00:17:19.120 with god as well i feel like you know when you're closer to god that's when you actually reach your

00:17:24.160 peak of femininity and uh what else how much weight do you want to lose i'm a size 12 right now i want

00:17:30.160 to be a size 10. size 10 yeah okay and like how much do you cook in a week how much do i cook i cook

00:17:35.920 once a week only because i work from no yeah i cook once a week um yeah it's not like my cooking skills

00:17:42.000 are bad i just want to my cooking skills actually good when would you like to have lost the weight

00:17:45.840 by i want to lose it by the end of this year okay you can come back into this year yeah i'll be skinny

00:17:51.680 sized then come back we do we're pro self-improvement here so no i think that's great but i i just think

00:17:58.720 a lot of times like like women we always think we're going to get better tomorrow and when like 1.00

00:18:03.280 honestly it's better to cash out when you're young i think that's what i'm doing yeah i think that's what i'm

00:18:08.480 doing do you mean like if you find somebody just hold on to them yeah yeah yeah i would agree

JustPearlyThings - August 18, 2023

She Coud NOT Accept This Fact and This HAPPENED

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript