JustPearlyThings - She EXPOSED Her Red Flags

00:00:00.260 I've noticed a lot of people who say these kind of things have this idea that like they're never

00:00:04.020 they never had anything to do with it right I couldn't have solved my own problem for this that

00:00:07.880 this that this that but they can come out and tell the whole world about it but when you ask

00:00:12.380 them what did you do in the time I know people who are like staunch feminists and they're still 1.00

00:00:16.160 dating guys and being abused and telling me about like it's some like oh I'm a victim I was like

00:00:19.660 oh you've been reading all these like Margaret Atwood books for time you still didn't know when

00:00:22.920 you were being punched in the face that you should maybe leave and you can't like you can't just be

00:00:26.840 like I hold the L you know I stayed in a bad situation too long I should have moved but

00:00:32.140 you rarely get that it's normally everyone else's fault so I respect I respect your admittance

00:00:36.460 thank you accountability is important in a relationship I guess everyone looking at

00:00:40.660 of course it's who does more than the other but accountability is important I guess

00:00:45.420 can I just say right I'm listening to you the young lady in the middle Lucy Lucy Lucy have you had

00:00:53.640 any counselling or anything like that for what you've been through I uh with my first relationship

00:01:00.280 no the whole thing because as far as I'm concerned I'm looking at you and it's still raw

00:01:03.740 I have to say I have to say I am uh I am like a feisty little something um but yes I have I have had

00:01:14.660 counselling and I'm and I'm still having it okay on on my anger and my um and my explosiveness which

00:01:21.360 has calmed down a lot um but do you mean a lot relationship wise or no I'm just glad that you're

00:01:27.080 getting some kind of help I uh a hands up for that I like I like that because you can tell in your face

00:01:32.340 that the way you're talking about it like it happened yesterday hmm and it still has that same

00:01:37.060 effect on you that's why I just thought you look you look traumatized oh wow I didn't see that at

00:01:41.540 all but don't forget I've been abused I've been abused as well and I can see why when she was

00:01:47.060 talking it was like she was reliving it it was like me mine's all gone do you know I mean I just

00:01:51.860 packed that away a long time ago got rid of it had counselling sorted it out but for her to me it was raw

00:01:57.700 I expected her to burst out crying like to relive it all over again that's what I picked up from her

00:02:02.100 that's why I asked and the fact that it's still ongoing that council is still ongoing I got listen

00:02:06.660 I'm not that good at reading the backs of people's heads so maybe that's it you're right no I I am

00:02:11.620 taking I am still taking counseling like in the relationship I am now it's very healthy though

00:02:16.020 there are some things that that don't go right you know my the partner I have now he's like very smart

00:02:20.900 and he tries to like outsmart me sometimes and I don't want him to outsmart me but I recognize that

00:02:25.300 he is smarter than me so we have like we we clash sometimes um so for that reason I do take

00:02:31.300 counseling but the counseling I have taken before has absolutely helped me control my anger because

00:02:36.740 I would be one that if someone was beeping at me in the car I would come out like and punch them

00:02:41.620 that would be on one whereas now whereas now yeah whereas now I I am not that person like

00:02:49.540 let's say road rage has calmed down but I can't say that I'm perfect no yes I yes I do take counseling

00:02:56.500 and and I love it yeah and he he he the other day he was like here's here's 80 pounds for your

00:03:01.140 counseling like a Colombian lady back home and then he he's like I support that because we are going

00:03:06.260 to do anything that that means for our relationship to be healthy we do we have to invest and put some

00:03:12.180 money down hey ho why not but I'm I'm I'm all for that I'm not going to say okay I took some counseling

00:03:17.220 and I'm fine now no like I'm yeah I'm still I have a question so you said like you're the kind

00:03:22.420 of person that something happens you get out of your car and you're ready to get into an altercation

00:03:26.420 right you used to be I literally I did yeah do you think that played any part in like your past

00:03:31.700 relationships because I could imagine at one point that would that would affect of course because even

00:03:35.940 though you're in a relationship it gets to a point where when you're arguing with him you forget he's

00:03:40.100 your boyfriend and the way you're seeing is oh you're squaring up to me so I'm going to square up to you

00:03:44.100 it this relationship and laughing goes out the window uh he's trying to prove a point but no

00:03:49.460 this is the point that I think um so so yeah it absolutely it absolutely does go out the window

00:03:55.540 and then all this the way I was brought up like in school I was in a school where I'd like

00:04:00.660 loads of fights went on and and and I was always involved I got bullied in like year seven year eight

00:04:05.060 and then in year nine I was like you know this is not happening and then I became I just like um

00:04:11.540 developed like this shield I'm gonna say and then of course I reflect that in my relationships but

00:04:17.380 so with the baby dad it was horrible it was like that then with the next partner I had he was

00:04:22.420 he was lovely I'm not gonna say he wasn't but there was physical violence involved

00:04:28.260 from both from both so in the relationship I am now that doesn't happen and here I am I'm like okay

00:04:35.540 I need therapy and I'm taking it and you know this I'm gonna do my absolute best and whatever it takes

00:04:41.860 to make this one work why because I have a man that sees me the same way he knows my past

00:04:46.740 he knows all the madness he even knows I've got a criminal record he knows that and he

00:04:51.780 record yeah and he accepts me and he accepts me for that and he's like you know I'm gonna work with you

00:04:57.700 because I believe that that you can be this good person and he knows that that deep down

00:05:01.540 I am and I and I you know I just want the best for both of us so all this all this bs that went

00:05:07.460 on in the past relationships I'm like okay that that that and that that's not happening again

00:05:14.020 do you feel like because you're a woman um when it comes to like physical abuse that you get away

00:05:18.980 with it more a hundred percent a hundred percent and we should we should test men respect 100 we do

00:05:26.500 that because I'm I'm I consider myself a very feminine woman so if I have a guy that gets into

00:05:33.620 a relationship with me I need to know you are that man that's gonna like hold me down because we do need

00:05:39.780 that we do need that um assurance yeah we we do need that I'm gonna hold you down uh you're too

00:05:46.020 feisty let me hold you down girl because you ain't going nowhere you know every now and then I'm gonna 1.00

00:05:50.180 tell you what's what and we like that but when we get a guy that doesn't do that let me test you and if

00:05:56.260 once once twice three times and then we just take you guys I'm not gonna say for granted but we we 0.95

00:06:02.660 we fuck about with you you know I think I like I like what you're saying because I think it shows 0.94

00:06:09.300 that like you you're aware of being a flawed person and it's a it's a it's a way of speaking 0.99

00:06:14.820 I I almost never hear I'm generally shocked did you say a fraud person yeah like like you're you're

00:06:19.540 flawed like you're you know you're cool with saying listen I can be very physically kind of domineering

00:06:25.140 I can be aggressive have you noticed when you hear people talk about these kind of women talk 1.00

00:06:28.580 about these they never say anything that you know anything is on their part then the idea is that

00:06:34.020 they're perfect human beings no no no not not you but I'm saying like in general it's always that

00:06:39.380 the man's the bad guy they're the victim can I can I just answer a question with all your experiences

00:06:46.420 has it made you fear men has it made me fear men yeah do you fear men no okay she's aggressive 1.00

00:06:53.140 be I don't I don't fear men trust you know I agree with you it made you gave me a different type of

00:06:59.700 confidence and it's a thing where I know that if I know that if I'm going to fight a man he will

00:07:05.460 he will me up but I'm still gonna give you my all you know say it again girl say it again 0.58

00:07:12.580 but I know that biologically I can't take on a man if I was to go and fight my boyfriend

00:07:17.860 he'll pin me down and box me and knock me out but I and I'm kind of thankful for that because I

00:07:25.620 now I don't like I don't see myself being like like a little squirrel and scared to speak no

00:07:31.460 I don't see myself doing that so in a way it's good but sometimes I go overboard and then I just

00:07:35.540 take it too far and then you know like all these problems I've had in the past okay that is good

00:07:42.260 can I just say something I also don't fear men because of my situation because I feel like

00:07:46.980 when you're when you've already gone through so much like crazy stuff you look at it now and

00:07:51.060 you've gone over it it's you know it's normal it's nothing so like I said I wouldn't girls you 1.00

00:07:56.980 don't need to fear men obviously they are physically more they're stronger than you but what I always

00:08:02.900 say is if someone if a man was coming coming to hit me I wouldn't even hit him back to show him

00:08:06.500 like I want to hit you back if he hits me I'll just use my my fluidity to fall a little bit more

00:08:12.020 and find ways to squirrel my way out of it you just don't be afraid just as many of you know I

00:08:16.660 was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want

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00:08:30.660 do possible

JustPearlyThings - April 01, 2023

She EXPOSED Her Red Flags

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