JustPearlyThings - November 29, 2023


She Gets PETTY While Defending Her Delusion


Episode Stats


Length

35 minutes

Words per minute

218.06235

Word count

7,832

Sentence count

714

Harmful content

Misogyny

31

sentences flagged

Hate speech

19

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we have a conversation about how to deal with adversity and how to overcome it in order to achieve success in life. We share our own personal stories of how we have dealt with adversity in our lives and how it has shaped us into the person we are today.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 door in this neighborhood and just ask people for a job. Within one day, I got an interview
00:00:04.380 for a sales job. Now, I didn't want the job, so I didn't end up taking it because I was
00:00:07.940 just trying to do YouTube. But the point is, it's all about, you have two choices in life.
00:00:14.140 Everything can be an excuse. I haven't made any excuses. You've made excuses the whole
00:00:19.040 time. I came here 13 years ago. I was learning. I only had $100 in my pocket. How is that
00:00:23.980 an excuse? Is that not involving? It is because honestly, the people, and I'm telling you,
00:00:28.440 I'm around these people. The people that are really successful, they don't talk about
00:00:31.560 that. They just talk about what they're doing. They're so excited about this next
00:00:34.660 project, this, this, and this. Yeah, I'm excited about all the projects that I've got going on. And maybe you are, but I'm saying the way you've represented yourself in this conversation is it's always an excuse. No, I wouldn't say that. I think excuse is a very harsh word you're actually using. But it's describing what it is. Because why are I saying it to be harsh? Wait, wait. It's describing outcomes. And it's like you've had 13 years. Outcomes I had to deal
00:00:58.420 with? Everyone's got stuff to deal with. What did you have to deal with at 26? Did you leave home with nobody? I came to this country by myself. Well, okay. I didn't know anyone in this country.
00:01:10.420 Mm-hmm. So, I mean, have other people had it harder? Did you have it harder? Sure. But I'm telling you, I know people in worse situations that made more.
00:01:18.180 I don't know. I feel like you're talking from a privileged place. Yes. You are. I'm talking from a generational place. No, no, no. I'm talking from a privileged place and being around these types of people. So I can tell you the people that have had good outcomes. And I know people that have had good outcomes. Wait. I know people that have had good outcomes from the bottom. I've known people that have had good outcomes from the top.
00:01:45.180 And I can tell you, the way they talk isn't the way you talk. No. Because they're not always talking about the reasons they didn't succeed. They're talking about the way they're going to succeed.
00:01:53.180 Because of the questions. You've got to answer questions, though. You know what I mean? No, you've got to. I'm answering the questions that you're putting out there, you know?
00:02:01.180 Have you got a boyfriend? No. How old are you? 39. So I'm responding, you know? If you ask me now, okay, what do you do now? Nobody's asked me that.
00:02:12.180 You only be like, oh, you're making excuses. I'm not. I'm evolving.
00:02:17.180 The information you gave you offered, it didn't really have much to do with the question I asked.
00:02:21.180 A response to the question, I believe. Did you want to raise your hand? Yeah, I just wanted to add to her point about you don't have any bills to pay when you're 18 living with your parents.
00:02:33.180 But everyone has their situations. And in fact, during the coronavirus, I was maybe like 19. I had to basically pay for the whole family.
00:02:43.180 My mom and dad went out of business and I was the only man in the house that was earning money and providing for the house.
00:02:49.180 So there is different things that people go through. And again, you can't judge on them and I'm not trying to judge you.
00:02:57.180 And to your point that you had £100 in your account when you came here. To be fair, you don't really need money to make money as long as you're willing to do it.
00:03:07.180 That's true. But I feel like in this conversation, we're trying to put the finger on each person and be like, oh, you did, you did.
00:03:14.180 Each person is different. Each person is a different character. Each person is different.
00:03:19.180 See, what I would say, although we're all having conversations and we're sharing experience and stuff about our own lives,
00:03:24.180 we feel like we're being vulnerable because we're sharing information. Actually, I don't see that anybody here, it might feel like people are being personally attacked.
00:03:31.180 But it's not. And I'm hearing like, I can hear that you're feeling a bit maybe getting a bit defensive.
00:03:35.180 No, because words are powerful.
00:03:38.180 Yeah, I agree words are powerful, but it's also words are down to interpretation.
00:03:41.180 So somebody could say to me that I'm making an excuse. I'm not going to be defensive at somebody saying I'm making an excuse.
00:03:46.180 That might make me think to myself, okay, could I have done something more? Could I have done this?
00:03:52.180 It's all how we take it and how we understand it. So everyone's circumstances are their own. There's no competition.
00:03:59.180 As you said, maybe you felt like Pearl was talking from a place of privilege.
00:04:03.180 Somebody else might think that you're talking from a place of privilege.
00:04:06.180 You know, everyone's circumstances and situations are their own. All you have to do is know that you're doing the best that you can do.
00:04:12.180 But it's also very important that you need to be realistic.
00:04:15.180 I think that I think as soon as we start being honest with ourselves and truthful with ourselves about where we lack, where we could do more, where we need to be more disciplined or the changes that we need to make, then you will really see like a propel of energy and you will go into the area that you want to go in.
00:04:32.180 But I think that people spend a lot of time procrastinating and hesitating. And I'm not saying that you're doing that, but people do spend a lot of time procrastinating, hesitating.
00:04:40.180 They're not in the right circles. They're not having the right influences, but they still believe that they're going to achieve the things that they want to achieve.
00:04:47.180 That's okay. You can still believe that. But I don't think that you, I don't think that the word excuse was supposed to be an attack on you.
00:04:55.180 I think excuse is what a lot of people do.
00:04:57.180 A lot of people do.
00:04:58.180 Yeah, it is a lot of what people do, but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta look at the timeline, you know, the timeline.
00:05:05.180 But that's just for your personal, that's for your personal.
00:05:08.180 Even though there could be some, I could have probably done this a bit more, I could have done this, I could have went to college earlier.
00:05:12.180 But at the end of the day, you don't know the challenges one has to face to make me end up and sit next to you guys today.
00:05:20.180 You know what I mean?
00:05:21.180 You know Pearl, right? You now know Pearl, you've met, there she is. 0.80
00:05:23.180 Now I've met her today, yeah.
00:05:24.180 You have a wonderful, you have a wonderful example of somebody that came to a new country that has created a significant following.
00:05:30.180 And this is why I've met you today.
00:05:32.180 Hang on.
00:05:33.180 Because now I'm evolving around these type of people.
00:05:35.180 Significant following, significant future.
00:05:37.180 Yeah, but it's like I give you, I tell you something and you argue with it.
00:05:40.180 And you argue, and you argue.
00:05:41.180 It's like no!
00:05:42.180 I have to stand my ground up because I know my heart.
00:05:44.180 And if you're saying, oh, you make excuses and da da da.
00:05:47.180 But that has never occurred to me.
00:05:49.180 I've had successful people tell me that before.
00:05:52.180 And my reaction is, oh shit, you're probably right.
00:05:55.180 Because they know something you don't.
00:05:57.180 You have to be open to it.
00:05:58.180 Yeah.
00:05:59.180 And so it's like.
00:06:00.180 It's not an attack.
00:06:01.180 It's not an attack.
00:06:02.180 I don't feel attacked or anything, but I'm a very strong woman and I will stand my ground.
00:06:08.180 And I would like to be heard.
00:06:10.180 And I'm going to be heard regardless.
00:06:12.180 We've heard you.
00:06:13.180 I want you to understand.
00:06:14.180 Not even understand.
00:06:15.180 I want you to overstand.
00:06:17.180 Like the way you did.
00:06:18.180 You know the type of background I'm coming from.
00:06:21.180 If I tell you some horror stories that I've done.
00:06:24.180 Yeah.
00:06:25.180 It will.
00:06:26.180 It will.
00:06:27.180 I had to change my mentality.
00:06:29.180 I had to de-program and re-program.
00:06:32.180 I, I, you know, I actually, I actually get you basically.
00:06:36.180 You know what I mean?
00:06:37.180 I don't know if it's cute.
00:06:38.180 Not everybody's going to get it.
00:06:39.180 You know what I mean?
00:06:40.180 Not everybody's going to get it.
00:06:41.180 I don't know.
00:06:42.180 Okay.
00:06:43.180 I don't know.
00:06:44.180 I don't want to share something personally.
00:06:45.180 But I get the process and I get how, and it's different for different people.
00:06:49.180 It's upbringing and how we've also been taught how to deal with certain situations in life.
00:06:55.180 If we're not taught initially just by not sorting out certain situations, we go back.
00:07:00.180 So that's where people get some advantage, some where people get disadvantage.
00:07:04.180 And it is what it is.
00:07:06.180 Journeys are journeys.
00:07:07.180 Simple as.
00:07:08.180 And imagine you changing your mentality and you're going back to your friends that you
00:07:12.180 used to speak to in 16, 18, 20, and you're telling them the journey who don't even understand
00:07:18.180 it.
00:07:19.180 And you think to yourself, you know what?
00:07:20.180 I need new friends.
00:07:21.180 I need.
00:07:22.180 I ain't going to lie to her.
00:07:23.180 You know, you know how.
00:07:24.180 So I can speak to them.
00:07:27.180 Do you know, Gail, just be.
00:07:28.180 And they understand.
00:07:29.180 Just being plus size, right?
00:07:30.180 I'm not even going to lie.
00:07:31.180 In different weight changes, I was being treated differently.
00:07:34.180 So that just goes to show, like when I, so pre pandemic, I became 28 stones.
00:07:40.180 I got ill.
00:07:41.180 So I was 28 stones.
00:07:43.180 And I'm not going to lie.
00:07:45.180 People were really being mean to me.
00:07:47.180 I'm a person who I'm quite happy to be a person.
00:07:49.180 I love speaking to elderly people on the tube and just talking to people and making conversation.
00:07:54.180 But when I lost that weight, I'm telling you, after pandemic, I lost eight stones.
00:07:59.180 And people treated me differently.
00:08:01.180 And I'm not even going to lie.
00:08:02.180 Even business way.
00:08:03.180 A lot of people come up to me like, Oh my God, you've got something.
00:08:06.180 And we'd like to work with you.
00:08:07.180 So it just goes to show how sometimes by looks and how you are.
00:08:12.180 People also get different.
00:08:13.180 You have to be the change that people will believe.
00:08:16.180 Yeah, honestly.
00:08:17.180 You know?
00:08:18.180 What do you mean to change?
00:08:19.180 You got to be the change.
00:08:20.180 See, I just, sometimes you're, you guys are saying things and I feel like they mean nothing.
00:08:24.180 No.
00:08:25.180 That's because if you feel the hardship and the, and if you feel the, if you've been through
00:08:30.180 the hardship and you've gone through the cycle of actually, okay, getting out from this hardship,
00:08:35.180 then you'd, you'd understand the feeling.
00:08:37.180 If you don't understand the feeling and if you haven't gone through the process, it's really
00:08:41.180 hard to understand.
00:08:42.180 I'm saying it's not about the feeling.
00:08:43.180 Like if we're talking about success, right?
00:08:45.180 Business success.
00:08:46.180 If we're talking about business success, it's what, what are you doing?
00:08:49.180 So I'll give you an example.
00:08:50.180 When I first started this, all right, it was just me.
00:08:52.180 I was in a living room in a small apartment in East London and I was running to the gym,
00:08:58.180 trying to get people to get the gym to come on my podcast.
00:09:01.180 And then I could say, this is what I'm doing.
00:09:03.180 But it's like, when we talk about, Oh, this is a feeling revolving mentally.
00:09:07.180 It's like, it's like, what is that?
00:09:09.180 That's what I'm saying.
00:09:10.180 You've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you.
00:09:15.180 I had to change my mindset, babe.
00:09:17.180 I had to change it.
00:09:18.180 You're 39.
00:09:19.180 This is like a conversation with a 16 year old.
00:09:20.180 And I started changing my mindset, say about 27, 28, when I realized that I had to deprogram.
00:09:26.180 Your new mindset as a teenager.
00:09:29.180 So, but, but what are the results?
00:09:33.180 Like, that's my thing.
00:09:34.180 The results is you still can't have a conversation without, without getting defensive.
00:09:39.180 No, because I need to be right.
00:09:40.180 I'm telling you.
00:09:41.180 When you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story.
00:09:44.180 When nobody's attacking you.
00:09:45.180 Or know your current.
00:09:46.180 This is what I just said.
00:09:47.180 Oh, not attacking me.
00:09:48.180 Not attacking me.
00:09:49.180 Okay, not attacking.
00:09:50.180 What's the word?
00:09:51.180 What's the word?
00:09:52.180 Give me the right word then.
00:09:53.180 Give me the right word.
00:09:54.180 Not attacked?
00:09:55.180 Not attacked?
00:09:56.180 And the topic was, yeah.
00:09:57.180 You've got to be.
00:09:58.180 You've got to be.
00:09:59.180 The subject was about profession, like in business, being successful in business.
00:10:02.180 Yeah.
00:10:03.180 We want to be.
00:10:04.180 Yeah.
00:10:05.180 So, but what you, but the conversation has gone into like a spiritual journey and uplifting.
00:10:09.180 It has been.
00:10:10.180 Yeah.
00:10:11.180 But that's not business.
00:10:12.180 That's totally separate.
00:10:13.180 Logic and emotion are two completely different things.
00:10:14.180 No.
00:10:15.180 I feel like.
00:10:16.180 Okay.
00:10:17.180 We're in the mood.
00:10:18.180 I can see.
00:10:19.180 Basically.
00:10:20.180 I get what you're saying.
00:10:21.180 Everything's about feelings, emotions, but that's not what business is about.
00:10:25.180 Sometimes people actually don't know business and they need to learn their lessons and then
00:10:30.180 they get business and then they flourish.
00:10:32.180 And I think that's where she's coming from.
00:10:35.180 And I get your point as well, because I get it when you say, but you're talking about
00:10:39.180 feelings and things, but feelings get involved when you learn a lesson and then you need
00:10:44.180 to try again, get back up, fail, try again.
00:10:47.180 So is that what happened to you?
00:10:49.180 I don't know.
00:10:50.180 You don't need to answer.
00:10:51.180 Actually don't answer it.
00:10:52.180 I had to reprogram.
00:10:53.180 So probably did.
00:10:54.180 I'm going to, I'm going to read super chats really quick.
00:10:57.180 Um, okay.
00:10:58.180 Um, guys, thank you for the super chats.
00:11:00.180 Blessing.
00:11:01.180 What are we saving for right now?
00:11:02.180 We're doing a third studio.
00:11:03.180 What do you, what do you want in it?
00:11:04.180 What's your dream?
00:11:05.180 Wishlist.
00:11:06.180 Yeah.
00:11:07.180 We need more cameras.
00:11:08.180 I've given you so many cameras.
00:11:10.180 How many more do you want?
00:11:12.180 More.
00:11:13.180 Feel the camera.
00:11:14.180 Oh my gosh.
00:11:15.180 Can you pass her?
00:11:16.180 I'm going to drink.
00:11:17.180 Fine, guys.
00:11:18.180 We're going to get blessing on another camera.
00:11:20.180 Do you see how many cameras we have?
00:11:22.180 There are so many.
00:11:23.180 That's blessing.
00:11:24.180 Really?
00:11:25.180 He's a camera.
00:11:26.180 addict. He's lucky he's talented. Okay, Chris, Abby prioritizes winning an argument over learning
00:11:34.260 from others. Stand your ground and be wrong. You were being heard, but you were still broke and
00:11:37.940 alone. Amelia, have her back in a year to see if she made it. Zoroslaw, notice how masculine men 1.00
00:11:43.760 in suits and feminine women left of the couch listens to understand, but masculine women and 1.00
00:11:48.520 feminine men listen to respond with emotion. Zoroslaw, thank you, 39 years old. You're a
00:11:55.160 prime example, that I've made a great decision to invest in nimble food, wine, and IVF. Fellas,
00:12:01.520 let's make our monies. Johnny, Dimitri is king. I need to afford a maid. You're something. Some
00:12:09.540 women only believe in spousal abuse statistics. Matt Butcher, ladies, if you're in a good man's 1.00
00:12:14.620 shoes, men lose half their shit in kids. Women very, very rarely go through that. I've seen 0.54
00:12:19.060 men go through that repeatedly. Men get F'd. It's extremely disappointing. 90 frito pie.
00:12:24.200 Women cannot be honest because they always have someone in mind. They don't want to hurt. You 1.00
00:12:29.860 can't be honest about relationships until you've realized the truth about your own parents. Have
00:12:34.000 you done that? Fast, Clara. Women don't like numbers, and they don't paint a pretty picture 1.00
00:12:39.440 for them. Say this. Women are beautiful. You know what you're worth. Not really. Reality 1.00
00:12:47.220 is harsh. Only women and children are allowed to live in delusion. 90 frito pie. Pearl, 0.84
00:12:52.420 scream for peace. Successful wives of wealthy men are like good dance partners and know how to lead 1.00
00:13:00.900 and when to back lead. Interracial relationships. Coming from a sex-positive lifestyle trauma, 0.58
00:13:08.340 a life-changing experience when changes your entire core belief and or personality. Do women 1.00
00:13:13.700 understand the importance of sex men require for commitment? Matt Butcher. Can you wife a 304?
00:13:20.320 Unstable people seek out enablers to validate their behavior. Thus, a downward spiral. Identify
00:13:25.360 it. Don't get sucked into it. Great job reading Super Chats today, Pearl.
00:13:30.720 Dion, Dimitri is the godfather of this show. The others need to pay attention to him and listen to
00:13:34.920 him. He knows his stuff. Doug, MPA. The panel doesn't deserve to share the room with Dimitri. He has so
00:13:41.080 much knowledge and you are squashing this opportunity. Listen and learn. YT Silk is a woman over a woman who
00:13:48.200 overlooks red flags. Trustworthy. Matt Butcher. 50s to 60s ladies. I want someone to grow old with 1.00
00:13:55.080 equals I want someone to fund my retirement. Okay, so back to the wife of health. 0.99
00:14:00.340 Yeah, me too. Can someone please fund my retirement as well?
00:14:05.460 Yeah, me too. Nothing, by the way, gives me more pleasure than to provide for my wife. It's so
00:14:12.420 fun because, man, I went to the airport this morning and I'm stupid. I forgot my passport.
00:14:17.460 I called my wife. She's like, did you forget passport? I'm like, yes, I did. She's like, I'll be right there.
00:14:22.180 She literally dropped everything, like got whichever kid was at home in the car and drove straight to 1.00
00:14:28.260 the airport. And I, and I, as I said, it's her 10 year wedding anniversary. And I said, I'm so glad,
00:14:34.020 you know, if I wasn't married to you for these last 10 years, I would be missing a flight right now.
00:14:38.820 But you know, but there are so many, there's so many little things that she'll do to like actually
00:14:42.820 make my life easier because she's, because she's actually figured, but it wasn't, but it wasn't
00:14:47.620 because like, it just, she figured out that like, because she loves you as well. Well, well, of course,
00:14:52.180 I hope, I mean, I would, I would hope. She loves you and she knows that you love her. But, but you know,
00:14:57.300 it's like, I'd love to find somebody to fund my retirement. Well, actually, let's just say that's
00:15:00.660 true. Of course you would. Of course you would. Who wouldn't want that? Right. But it's like, are you
00:15:04.020 the person, like, are you a person that guy picks? And that's, that's a question. We talk about this in
00:15:08.820 business. It's like, you see a prospect he doesn't buy. It's like, are like that prospect is going to buy
00:15:13.460 that product somewhere at some point. But are you, are you being the person that that
00:15:17.380 that prospect wants to buy from? You know, like, and so it shifts the responsibility on me to better
00:15:23.300 my, and so I'll tell you guys, I was 20, I was 22, I was 22 years old. I was sitting down with a mentor
00:15:29.140 of mine who had like a massive impact on my life. He was about 40 years old, like extremely successful
00:15:33.860 with women, with finances, everything. The guy was just a stud, went on to become a VP of a public
00:15:38.820 company that sold for like a billion dollars. Just crazy. Private company sold like it. It was crazy.
00:15:43.300 And I asked them and I was really, really frustrated. I was 22 years old. I hadn't got
00:15:47.220 laid in about a year. That's 22. Sorry, 22. I was 22 and been laid in about a year.
00:15:52.820 Wow, it was a bad choice. Um, because, because look, look, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20.
00:15:57.460 That's why, because I needed to, I didn't understand the reality of what I was dealing with. I had
00:16:01.300 delusions in my mind. Like I thought I would meet a girl 20 and marry her because my grandparents
00:16:04.820 were both married until everybody died. All both sets of grandparents. Dimitri, can I ask you something?
00:16:09.300 Yeah. Like, what's your thoughts? Obviously you're a married man. And I've always wanted to ask
00:16:15.620 Amanda this, obviously of your level. And it's like, what do you think about, um, what's it called
00:16:22.180 again? The pre-nup. Yeah. What do you think about that? Does it go against the marriages of this girl?
00:16:27.700 I have a really, I have some really controversial opinions on this. And if you'd like me to share,
00:16:31.380 I'll share. Um, so I had two conditions, uh, three conditions for, for getting married. The first
00:16:39.060 condition was my wife has to take my last name. It wasn't a religious choice. It was that a mentor 0.98
00:16:43.860 of mine told me that it signified something. My mom didn't take my dad's last name and they got
00:16:47.620 divorced. And I saw that my mom didn't respect my dad. Like I felt he deserved the respect, even
00:16:51.300 though he suffered, he suffered with dignity. That was number one. Uh, number two, no prenup. That was a
00:16:57.700 decision I made principally. I made the decision, no prenup. Like I told my wife, like, I didn't know
00:17:02.980 if I was ever going to get married, but if I went for it, I was going to go all in, but I'm going to
00:17:07.380 make a real strategic decision. I'm going to go all fricking in. That's the way it should be. That,
00:17:12.820 that was the way that was love. That was my choice. And I admit it might not be the most,
00:17:17.220 because people are going to say, Oh, but you're a businessman. You're making a discount,
00:17:20.580 not a risk mitigating decision. I made a choice, but you know, I'll tell you something. My wife's told me
00:17:24.820 this many, many times, like sort of in a playful way, kind of talk, you know, because we have hard
00:17:28.420 conversations sometimes. She's like, look, if you divorce me, I don't want any money. I just,
00:17:31.220 she just said, I just want to make sure that I have the kids. And I said, that's great. That's what
00:17:35.220 I want too. Right. Um, but, but that's, but I made that decision. I made that decision to step into
00:17:40.820 that and say, I'm going to risk everything because maybe it's a courageous, you know, delusion that I had
00:17:46.100 at the time. And maybe I'm just lucky that it worked out the way it has so far. So would you say that
00:17:50.420 there's no wrong or right when it comes to that kind of decision? Like, is it down to you as an
00:17:55.060 individual? Cause it is like a business kind of marriage, marriage to marriage to me was, uh,
00:17:59.940 look, look, again, 85%. Is it, is it the, are the laws different in the country you're in?
00:18:04.420 I got married in Canada first. Okay. So that's like, that is a terrible place to do it. Right. Okay.
00:18:10.740 Um, well, because the Canadian court system just is like Australia or the U S it just really favors
00:18:17.380 women. And I, but, but you know what, but I felt like I vouched my wife's character. You know, 1.00
00:18:21.620 what's crazy is my wife's never had a public Instagram. I'll just tell you right now. She 0.95
00:18:24.420 never had it. And by the way, people that meet my wife, they're like, wow, Dimitri, like really,
00:18:27.460 like they're impressed that I got a girl of that caliber. Cause she's, you know, five, 0.94
00:18:30.580 10 blonde. Don't nod your head. You met her. No, not cool. You know, my wife's like, like, 1.00
00:18:36.020 I have a type and it's her like five, 10 blonde. Like, you know, people say, wow, 1.00
00:18:39.860 is she like a model or something? Because, you know, so I did well in that regard,
00:18:43.620 but I vouched her. I like vetted her character. So like no public Instagram,
00:18:47.620 I'm going to say this about no tattoos, no piercings. Okay. Hate me. I don't care. No
00:18:50.900 tattoos, no piercings, no public Instagram, great relationship with her dad. Her dad's a heart
00:18:54.980 surgeon, like incredible, like successful stern man, great relationship. One of three sisters.
00:18:59.540 She's the oldest of three, uh, educated, uh, could have a lot of dudes chose not to. Uh, and in fact, 0.85
00:19:07.460 I was my wife and I have my wife's first and only serious relationship.
00:19:11.700 Wow. So I guess if you choose right, you don't need to choose for life. Well, and of course,
00:19:17.060 like what bigger decision can a man make than to get married? Like everything right.
00:19:21.620 I kind of hear what he's saying. I think when you're looking for a partner,
00:19:26.580 you need to actually look at, do they actually, the little things, does it match with the person?
00:19:33.860 And if the little things match, and if you can deal with one another's differences in opinions,
00:19:39.220 I think that's, that's a winner because then you're showing that you have respect and you're
00:19:44.020 listening and you're working as a team, how a relationship should be.
00:19:48.180 So I have a, I have a question.
00:19:49.460 Can I finish my, sorry.
00:19:50.980 Go ahead, go ahead.
00:19:51.620 I was going to say, so I'm sitting with my mentor. I'm 22 years old. I remember it very vividly.
00:19:54.980 Like I, I got to the party late, you know what I mean? Like I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20.
00:19:59.140 Um, and then like, I'm 22 and I'm single and I'm frustrated and my life is not going the way I
00:20:04.100 wanted to go. And I'm like, why am I like, why? By the way, by 23, a lot of things, I bought my
00:20:08.740 first house at 23 and I was a full-time university student. So like, there was a lot of changes that
00:20:12.420 I was undergoing. Like I started going to the gym. I started doing things that sucked. Like I took
00:20:16.740 cold showers every freaking morning. In fact, my 1988 Toyota Corolla, actual 1988 Toyota Corolla that
00:20:22.740 I took a girl on a date on told me that she'll never go on a date with me again because my car smells
00:20:26.340 like old people. And she thought I was a psycho, which makes sense because my Corolla had a Ferrari 1.00
00:20:30.580 sticker on the steering wheel. Tony Robbins. No, it was Napoleon Hill secrets of whatever Napoleon
00:20:34.980 Hill playing and motivational quotes posted on all the mirrors. So I look like a crazy person,
00:20:39.220 right? Okay. So anyways, 22, I'm sitting with a mentor of mine. I'm like, and I said, dude,
00:20:43.220 like, how do I get a happy and successful girlfriend? I want a girlfriend. I don't want to-
00:20:47.700 You're saying you've done the mentoring for the girlfriend.
00:20:50.260 Well, I just, that's who I was at 22. Yeah. And I said, I respect it though.
00:20:54.020 I went through the other phase too, by the way, like, I went through that.
00:21:05.380 And if you're listening to Napoleon Hill at 22, wow.
00:21:13.380 Because I lived in the actual projects. Well done.
00:21:16.420 Like I lived like, you know, the projects are social housing.
00:21:18.820 Who introduced you to him?
00:21:20.580 Literally, I was rollerblading and somebody's recruited me to go into sales. Like,
00:21:24.420 hey, you look really motivated. Come to sales. And I'm like, oh, they think I'm motivated.
00:21:27.460 I'm just poor. I'm just poor. But here's the, and by the way, like, so, so he, I said,
00:21:32.100 how do I get a happy and successful girlfriend? At the time I was just,
00:21:34.660 I just wanted a girl to like me. I wasn't thinking about like anything else. He goes, he goes, oh,
00:21:38.740 that's easy. You just have to be happy and successful. Yeah. And I thought about that a lot.
00:21:43.220 And it comes back to, you know, McConaughey quote, he does the thing like,
00:21:45.620 don't chase a butterfly, build a garden, the butterflies will come. So a mentor of mine
00:21:49.780 that had a really huge impact on my life. Like he really told me like, he's like,
00:21:53.940 just build your own value, focus on you and do everything you need to do to be the most
00:21:57.700 attractive guy to the, to, to women around you. Cause I wasn't an attractive guy to women around
00:22:01.220 me. I was rollerblading to university in the 1988 Corolla was falling apart.
00:22:05.300 The driving test I took the first time he didn't let me drive the car to borrow my dad's car
00:22:09.380 because he said the car does not look safe.
00:22:12.260 So, you know, 22, I'm not a good prospect for women. So like now my mind changed like, oh,
00:22:16.740 it's not that I'm not good at getting women. It's that women don't want me. 1.00
00:22:21.060 Why not? Well, because I'm 22 and I was at the time I was going to university.
00:22:25.540 I was professionally gaming. I was playing games 14, 15 hours a day. I stunk.
00:22:30.100 So why do you, why do you, why do you think you were able to take that feedback where most women, 1.00
00:22:34.980 if you say the men you want, don't want you to get offended?
00:22:37.220 Because the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change. It just hurt too fricking
00:22:41.700 much. To be fair at 22 men are at that level where they're not, um, they're not as highly,
00:22:49.780 you know, I'm, I'm talking from a perspective of 22 year old man and a 22 year old woman. Yeah.
00:22:55.380 Yeah. A 22 year old role, a 22 year old woman is a lot more desired than a 22 year old man. 1.00
00:23:02.820 Yeah, but we could use the opposite, like a 42 year old man and a 42 year old woman.
00:23:07.860 Yes. The man's going to be a lot more desired than the woman. 1.00
00:23:10.900 Definitely, because now he's in his game. It actually, it switches for women about 30, 0.61
00:23:15.540 um, according to dating apps. Yeah. Yeah. It's all facts. It's like where the tables turn.
00:23:21.300 Well, and there's, and there's a wisdom there too. Like, why did I get married? I'll say why.
00:23:24.340 I have friends that are 40 that are very successful. They never got married, right?
00:23:27.140 Mm-hmm. Um, I kind of looked at it like, I understand obviously that men's value grows 0.91
00:23:31.860 with time and women value, like it's whatever you call sexual market value goes down. Yeah, 0.59
00:23:35.300 yeah. Um, but, but that's like what actually, in my opinion, my, this is an opinion. In my
00:23:40.500 opinion, it's what makes a successful man, a man who can be dangerous, but chooses not to be and
00:23:44.340 chooses to control it. That to me is like a really high aspiration for a way of living. And I might be
00:23:49.300 wrong, but, but I love that. I love the aspiration of being able to do the things that are dangerous,
00:23:54.820 but choosing to control that danger. So I have a question with the prenup stuff.
00:23:59.300 I feel like I, it's tough because it's almost like if you have a kid, you're screwed anyway.
00:24:05.300 Yeah. When it comes to marriage, like just, I've been doing this documentary on the court system,
00:24:09.780 but even so, I just don't think I could ever advise a guy not to get a prenup because, um, because just
00:24:16.020 the outcomes are so catastrophic, especially when I'm learning like about, um, men like committing
00:24:21.460 suicide a lot during that process. It's like a really big problem. And I started, um, asking Uber
00:24:26.340 drivers that I drive with and I'll just start asking them questions. And I found out like,
00:24:31.460 I would guess like one out of four of my Uber drivers, they somehow were in the court system
00:24:37.060 in some way. So it's like all these men that were just financially ruined at their 40s or their 50s
00:24:42.020 to the point they're never going to come back. So do you, do you advise men to like do the same route
00:24:46.980 that you did? Because I would just have a hard time doing that. My, you know, I'm a logical guy
00:24:50.820 and I like to think of like, and things about mitigating risk. Probably I made a very suboptimal
00:24:54.980 decision. Um, I'm very happy with my decision. That was a personal choice for me to, you know, I,
00:25:01.380 I get really hard for commitment. I get hard for discipline. It's just how commitment turns me on.
00:25:06.740 I've done one thing in my life, you know, at a university selling door to door, I started to sell a
00:25:11.220 company that's, I sold suits door to door in office buildings, which has just grown to 20 countries. We now have
00:25:15.540 over a hundred people working at our company. I've only, that's the only thing I've done.
00:25:19.060 I don't like jumping around. I don't like to, I don't like to look for success in places that I
00:25:24.820 don't know they exist. I don't like to, I don't like to look at my neighbor's lawn. I like to fertilize
00:25:29.380 my own lawn. So for me, that decision of commitment was actually bigger than the risk that I felt.
00:25:34.180 And that's just me. Not everybody's going to feel that way. And, um, and that's okay. I mean, I don't
00:25:40.020 think, I don't know if there's a right answer. I think this is part to me, it's just personal.
00:25:42.420 I was just wondering, you have so many guys you mentor. So I was just curious if you advise them
00:25:46.260 the same way. I tell my guys this, never marry from a weak position, never commit from a weak
00:25:49.700 position. What I mean from a weak position, you know, when you see red flags and you're like,
00:25:53.860 everybody's, you know, everybody knows that you see the red flags and you choose to ignore them.
00:25:57.620 Why? Because that's the only option you have. And like, I tell guys in our company, when they joined
00:26:01.540 their early twenties, I'm like, don't like, don't commit to the first girl you fricking kiss, man,
00:26:08.180 because you're like, there's things you're not going to see, like go and run the hose just straight
00:26:12.020 up. Like, Oh, go through the three or fours, run it, run it, run it, run it. So that you, sorry,
00:26:16.500 man. That's a very different, I expected you to have more of a trap. No, that's very opposite.
00:26:21.540 No, no, that is, that is the optimal, the op, the optimal thing that a man can do
00:26:26.500 is make himself as highly attractive to women as possible, as possible to increase his pool,
00:26:32.500 and then pick the option that optimizes for him and then commit to that. Now,
00:26:36.740 some people might say, Oh, you should have three or four wives. Some people want that. I don't want
00:26:39.620 that. Like, I'm, I'm happy. What did you think about what he said earlier about guys liking,
00:26:44.420 um, alpha women sometimes like certain guys? Well, I found myself very, my, my mom is an alpha woman.
00:26:50.660 She's a high, high income earner, um, compared to my dad. So she actually, her career took off,
00:26:55.220 you know, in computer science, she's got a master's computer science. So when we moved to Canada,
00:26:58.900 she was like the Soviet engineer and her career took off and my dad just remained a humble mechanic.
00:27:04.500 Um, and so I found myself at a young age, attracted to these women that were sort of like
00:27:08.260 argumentative, uh, sometimes would cause a scene in public cause that's my mom, um, and, and wanted
00:27:14.180 control. And I made a, and again, I, I started finding myself attracted to those women. And I
00:27:19.140 remember my first serious girlfriend for two years, she never cooked the meal. She said, 0.56
00:27:23.380 I think it's beneath women to cook for men. In the bin. 1.00
00:27:26.340 They were there. It wasn't, and that wasn't the only, and that was the only,
00:27:28.820 that wasn't the only thing she would do. Can I share something? Something that came
00:27:31.780 in my mind, basically what you're saying is I get it because you know, for example,
00:27:39.060 a lot of people DM me saying they talk about my chest and that, and I'm like, is it because they've
00:27:44.900 got a fat mom and they've been like, you know, when they're breastfeeding. So that's why they DM me 1.00
00:27:50.980 talking about wanting to lick my nipples and all that. So I get it. It comes from childhood
00:27:55.460 and it comes from like little things. Like, you know, I mean, do you guys get it?
00:27:59.940 It comes from certain feelings must come from childhood for them to have those things as adults.
00:28:05.540 And I really believe people that have fat mothers also like fat people.
00:28:09.940 Uh, there's a study that's been shown that poor men prefer, uh, corpulent, you know,
00:28:15.860 larger women. And what's interesting about that. I'm like, I wonder, I'm like, I wonder if it's because,
00:28:19.940 I wonder if it's because that's just the pool that they have available to them, you know,
00:28:24.260 and obviously if you grow up poor, there's more likelihood you will be poor. Like, of course,
00:28:27.460 there is that. Like, we know that. Um, yeah, sorry, you were going to say that.
00:28:32.340 No, I was just going to ask you that in terms of obviously every man's different.
00:28:35.220 Yeah. You see me, I couldn't be of a girl for two years, one year, six months.
00:28:40.500 No food. No dinner. What's going on? You're probably just naturally better with women than I was. 1.00
00:28:48.180 I wasn't naturally good at it, but, but you know what I did? No, I'm just serious.
00:28:50.900 Like if you worked where you worked and you were getting some good for you, man.
00:28:53.620 I'd like to know. You got good ribs. I don't want to like, maybe I argue and I'm being too,
00:28:59.300 you know, we're talking about being picky. Some men don't care about cooking.
00:29:02.660 They'll teach the girl how to cook. Oh, you do care? 1.00
00:29:05.060 Very much. And my wife cooks all the time and it's amazing. And it's only steak at our house now.
00:29:08.660 That's the rule this month. I've only, I've only eaten steak at home this month.
00:29:12.020 It's the only thing I eat. But anyways, um, I, I, I was intentional about again,
00:29:15.460 I'll just share my thing. This everybody's different. I had a book, uh, a vision book.
00:29:20.100 I believed in actualization because my mentor said, you need to believe in it. Okay.
00:29:23.220 I said, fine. I don't believe in astrology, but I'll try this stuff, whatever.
00:29:26.500 I had a book and one of the, it was like a folder. There was like, you know,
00:29:30.660 goals in different areas. And one of the, uh, one of the dividers was about my ideal mate.
00:29:36.100 And I actually described very vividly with pictures, what my ideal mate would be to me.
00:29:40.500 That included not only looks, of course, looks was there. It was number one, uh, for me.
00:29:45.060 It also included, you know, background family. Really? Like I got really detailed.
00:29:49.380 I had another mentor who was 39. He sold his company at 39 for 50 million bucks. And just look,
00:29:53.700 a guy put me on the board of his fricking company. Just, I said, dude, I'm, I was like 24.
00:29:58.820 I'm like, what are you doing? He goes, Dimitri, I want you to just sit there and listen.
00:30:03.140 We're not going to pay you. I just want you to sit and listen so you can be around these people
00:30:06.020 and just see how they talk, see how they think and just learn from them. And I learned a ton
00:30:09.540 from that. Right. And, and he was like, girl's relationship with her father matters a lot.
00:30:14.100 I didn't know why I didn't understand it, but I said, okay, so I wrote down, I want my future
00:30:17.700 wife to have an amazing relationship with her dad and respect her father. That was the words he said,
00:30:20.820 respect her father. So I, I got really, really detailed right now, as I got into like 24, 25,
00:30:26.580 26, my options opened up profusely. Like it was like, it was like good times at that time.
00:30:32.180 But then I was choosing from the women that made themselves available to me. And I, and I didn't 0.96
00:30:36.180 turn the sex down, let's put it that way. But in terms of like who I was going to wife up, 0.65
00:30:39.940 I knew exactly what I wanted. And that may be different from different people, but I really
00:30:43.060 want to take a strategic position. And I was willing to wait, you know why I was willing to wait,
00:30:46.900 because the sex was available. You know, I think, I think if the guys aren't getting laid,
00:30:50.820 then they're probably just going to get married for the pee. That's a terrible decision.
00:30:54.260 Yeah. I got married for the character and I, I, you know, and that, and that's been the intent.
00:30:59.300 Yeah. Dimitri, you've been sharing some sort of special wisdom,
00:31:03.380 because I've actually really been enjoying this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:31:06.180 It's actually your wisdom to hear your experiences to, to how it is for you. Also,
00:31:12.100 the fact that you've come from a hardship background. I must say, I think you deserve a clap.
00:31:16.580 Might as well give him a clap, guys. Yeah.
00:31:18.660 Yeah.
00:31:19.220 Dimitri, can I touch on, you guys know, you guys, you guys know, you guys know that statistically,
00:31:23.860 if you're, yeah, I was going to say, statistically, if you're wearing a suit,
00:31:26.100 people just believe you more as an expert. So, uh, LGBT fashion house. 0.93
00:31:29.060 Dimitri, you know what's interesting when you were talking about, um,
00:31:34.580 no tattoos, no, I don't know if you said piercings.
00:31:37.620 No piercings. For my wife, no piercings, no tattoos.
00:31:40.340 Earrings or no?
00:31:41.860 Little earrings, but no hoops.
00:31:42.900 Yeah, yeah, sorry.
00:31:44.580 No, no, no, no, no big, no, no big hoops.
00:31:46.660 That's someone with a, that's someone with a, that's someone with a tattoo sitting up.
00:31:49.860 It's, it's interesting because when I was growing up, my mom would always say that to me.
00:31:52.820 She'd be like, you can't get a tattoo. Like, you, and I'd be like, mom, you're so judgmental. 0.95
00:31:58.180 Why would you say, like, you know, and I would, I would always be, you know,
00:32:01.140 just arguing with my mom about it. And she would always tell me, you can't get tattoos,
00:32:04.660 no piercings, no this, no that. And, um, I made it to 18, right?
00:32:08.660 And I went to Germany for the summer and I was thinking, I was like, maybe I will just to piss my mom,
00:32:13.300 you know, you're 18, right?
00:32:14.340 Please don't get a swastika.
00:32:15.460 No, no, no.
00:32:17.460 So I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't end up doing it, but it's like, one of the things I'm so thankful
00:32:22.580 for now is that like my mom just like beat that into me, like no heavy makeup, no, no tattoos,
00:32:29.140 no, don't like stay in shape, like all that stuff. Like I'm just, yeah.
00:32:33.140 And it's interesting you say that because what I noticed is like my brothers,
00:32:37.220 like they won't even give a girl like a second look if they say she's got any tattoos that are
00:32:40.900 visible. And it, and it's interesting. It's sad because sometimes like girls are so beautiful,
00:32:45.940 but it's like, they'll get like a sleeve or they'll get something. I'm like, why are you wasting that?
00:32:49.540 Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:50.180 That's true. But is it, is it someone without tattoo or without piercing better than someone that has them?
00:32:55.780 Like, that's a great question.
00:32:56.980 Very good question.
00:32:58.180 Does it make them greater than the one that doesn't have them?
00:33:00.580 Yeah.
00:33:01.060 I mean, I don't think it's the same and there's no tattoos, no tattoos.
00:33:06.020 I love makeup. I love, that's just me. I'm a girly girl.
00:33:08.980 You know what I mean? But it's true.
00:33:10.420 Like my mom was always like, no tattoos, no, no, no, no, very judgmental.
00:33:14.580 I mean, I was, I was raised as a Roman Catholic.
00:33:18.740 Yeah. What is the, what is it about tattoos?
00:33:21.700 You want to hear something crazy? I value purity.
00:33:27.700 I had to learn about myself. Like, why do I feel that way?
00:33:30.020 And then I introspect. I value purity is number one. And, and, and again, I don't,
00:33:34.100 I know that some people listen to this or even here are not going to agree with me. That's okay.
00:33:37.380 I don't, I don't make your decisions. You make your decisions. I'm just telling you my own
00:33:40.900 perspective. Like I value purity and I think it shows a lack of impulse control.
00:33:45.140 Uh, what do you, uh, sorry, what do you define as a purity?
00:33:49.540 Just clean body? 0.63
00:33:51.300 Yeah.
00:33:51.540 That's partially.
00:33:52.100 Yeah. Like it's symbolic, right? I understand. It's not, it's not physical. It's metaphysical. It's symbolic.
00:33:56.340 Okay.
00:33:56.660 Yeah.
00:33:57.220 They're like, and by the way, I see you have tattoos. I'm not like you're,
00:33:59.620 I'm sure that like 99% of men would disagree with me on this. So I'm probably not statistically
00:34:05.060 correct here. So just know that you're more qualified in many men's eyes than less qualified
00:34:09.540 because I'm sure other men would see that as fun and, uh, and expressive and, and maybe,
00:34:14.580 um, no, they don't, whatever. I don't know. I don't know.
00:34:17.380 But I don't find it attractive.
00:34:19.380 It depends on the type of guy you're going for.
00:34:21.380 Yeah. Guys that, guys that from like, um, a corporate background, like that's not what
00:34:26.660 they go for typically from a business.
00:34:28.580 You know what they say when they say birds of a feather flock together.
00:34:35.540 I think we need to always circle back around to that because if I date somebody completely
00:34:42.340 out of my character, completely out of the people I vibrate on like this frequency,
00:34:48.340 of course I'm gonna have to challenge myself. I'm going to want to get my tattoos lasered and stuff.
00:34:54.260 So if you want to get into that, um, level of, of people, you know, those, those kind of people,
00:35:01.620 you want to be around millionaires and you want to have a millionaire husband and all of those things.
00:35:06.180 Hmm. It comes at a price.
00:35:08.180 Yeah, but do you actually feel like just because like people don't have tattoos and piercing,
00:35:13.460 they can be more successful than people not necessarily.
00:35:16.020 In relationships. Yeah. My, my brother, so I just, you know, I, I'm one of 10.
00:35:20.740 So I have, I have, um, a family at 10, five boys, five girls.
00:35:24.180 And, um, out of my five brothers, I think four makes six figures. So four are in the top,
00:35:28.660 like five to 10% of earners. As many of you know, I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized
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