JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


She Gets REPAULSED By This Kind Of Men


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

210.38623

Word Count

2,424

Sentence Count

167

Misogynist Sentences

24

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with a good friend of mine and talk about our unconventional relationship. We talk about how we met, how we started dating, and how we ended up in a one-sided relationship.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Can I ask about the one-sided?
00:00:01.860 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:02.240 Okay.
00:00:02.700 Yeah, sure.
00:00:03.260 Okay.
00:00:03.560 So you, you guys do a little bit unconventional of a relationship, right?
00:00:08.220 Yeah, totally.
00:00:09.040 Can you tell me about it?
00:00:10.260 So, yeah.
00:00:10.760 So in the beginning, you know, I'll admit it.
00:00:13.260 You're going to make me sound like a dick.
00:00:14.440 But in the beginning, like I was like seeing girls behind her back.
00:00:17.860 And then eventually we came to terms with the fact that, you know, we're just like what made it work the best was that I'm just fully upfront and honest about all of it.
00:00:25.200 And then we have like certain rules.
00:00:27.180 So like, I don't have girls sleep over.
00:00:29.080 I don't go on dates with girls.
00:00:31.360 I shower if I see a girl, you know, I shower afterwards and stuff like that.
00:00:35.700 But I'll let you speak to it because it was like a big process in the beginning.
00:00:39.040 I mean, it's definitely not normal.
00:00:41.500 No, it was like step by step, you know?
00:00:44.400 Like, like I used to like before I, I've always liked girls.
00:00:50.600 So it wasn't like a big deal for me, like be actually attracted for girls.
00:00:55.620 So, and I don't think it was like a trend.
00:00:58.120 Like for me at the time, because like I would look different.
00:01:02.140 So, uh, to girls, that's what I mean.
00:01:05.700 And it was like step by step.
00:01:07.920 So first thing, like, uh, actually we started our relationship really fast.
00:01:12.440 It was like, we started like dating for real, like in two, three weeks.
00:01:17.400 It was like super, super fast.
00:01:19.760 And it was like one thing at the time, one thing at the time.
00:01:23.000 I wasn't like okay with everything.
00:01:24.680 But like, I think the way that we build this thing, this like relationship with a lot of like, um, um, like rules, like try and air was like, I decided to stay through all of that.
00:01:39.180 And we were really happy now, but it was like, of course it's not like she had never had a threesome prior to, prior to dating me, she'd never had a threesome.
00:01:47.340 And now she's had like over 75.
00:01:49.300 Right.
00:01:49.680 So like, like even last night, right, like we, we go to the ministry of sound, we see a girl we like, and then she approaches the girl likes us.
00:01:57.200 The girl likes us, she comes back with us and it's cool, but like, it's more just like a fun thing for us, but I also see girls on the side by myself.
00:02:04.440 Right.
00:02:04.880 But all the like love and affection and companionship is with her and other girls are more just for fun.
00:02:11.580 Didn't you guys do like, you had multiple girls living in the house?
00:02:15.080 Yeah.
00:02:15.320 In 2021, um, we moved two girls in and then we moved to third girl and we had, there was like some rotating girls in living for periods of time.
00:02:23.660 But at the height of it, there was like three girls besides her and it got to be too much for her and she left.
00:02:29.820 And like, I lasted like another week after that.
00:02:32.440 And I just kicked the other girls out and moved her back in and said like, let's not live with girls anymore.
00:02:36.600 I was going to ask if, how do you not get jealous?
00:02:39.140 Cause I'm like, I would be so jealous.
00:02:40.320 Cause two of the girls fell in love with me and it was like a big, it was like, it was like nonstop drama.
00:02:44.400 I was trying to basically try what Hugh Hefner was doing where he was living with like, like on the girls next door.
00:02:49.060 And it sounded good in theory, but in practice, you know, people, there's like so much drama every day about every little thing.
00:02:56.340 So it's like lots of stress, lots of BS.
00:02:59.040 I think the jealousy part is like about like, I was okay.
00:03:03.300 Like living with the girls, but like the part is when you put a bunch of people together to live together, like the real world kind of thing.
00:03:10.260 It's like, it's like those TV shows, like those, um, shitty shows, you know, that people started like arguing for nothing.
00:03:18.360 It's like so much drama all the time.
00:03:20.760 And it was like, make me like really bad.
00:03:23.760 It's like, it was like for nothing.
00:03:26.460 Like for example, oh, I want apple juice.
00:03:29.320 And someone said, oh, but you should take orange juice.
00:03:32.100 And then, no, no, I'm going to take a, oh my God.
00:03:34.380 Did you see that she said that?
00:03:35.880 Oh my God.
00:03:36.640 It's like everything.
00:03:38.260 Every little thing is like, you know, but the part about me not getting jealous is because I don't know.
00:03:44.160 I just don't like, uh, like my first relationship, like I started like my relationship with when I was 18, it lasts almost three years.
00:03:52.040 Right.
00:03:52.840 And in the end of like my relationship, like I was with such a nice guy, but it was like truly, truly nice, you know?
00:03:59.200 And I was, he was really, really cool.
00:04:02.400 And like, in the end of our, my relationship with him, like I tried to help him like to be with other girl.
00:04:08.200 You know, that was like a friend of him that he had a crush at before.
00:04:11.780 And she was like, really cool.
00:04:13.000 She was like, so sweet.
00:04:14.180 And it was like, no, you guys should be together now.
00:04:16.600 You know, and like that thing about jealousy is something that doesn't bother me.
00:04:22.060 So it was like this all the time, because I think it's natural for the men to have other women.
00:04:28.380 So you, you were more annoyed with the girls in the house.
00:04:31.160 You weren't even jealous.
00:04:32.720 No, whether I was jealous, not jealous, but like Superman is like the amount of bullshit that happens every day for nothing.
00:04:41.500 Yeah, because like I, like I used to work, I was like doing my like engineer job.
00:04:46.360 I'm like civil engineer.
00:04:47.300 I used to work and I would come back home and they would treat me like the boss.
00:04:51.040 For example, all the girls would come with me with problems.
00:04:54.600 And like, since like John works a lot, I always took like the part of the house as my responsibility.
00:05:00.820 So I hate, for example, imagine like a lamp is not working, right?
00:05:05.740 It's like, I don't, I won't even go to him like to say, oh, that's not working.
00:05:10.380 Let's like, no, I'll go there.
00:05:11.840 I try to fix when he has to come to me to say, oh, that wasn't working.
00:05:15.900 I feel like I fail on that because like I took that part for me, you know?
00:05:19.460 So it was like, I would come to the house and one of the girls, oh, did you see that the maid didn't do that?
00:05:24.880 Oh, but she was supposed to do that.
00:05:26.480 And so it was like, dude, you could have solved that.
00:05:30.120 Why you're making this a thing, you know, go there, talk to the person, talk to the maid, like,
00:05:36.260 like, you don't need me to like, to come to see what's going on.
00:05:39.920 And then I would take one part, one side, like, oh, I think it's better.
00:05:43.980 But then the other part would be like, is the, is the, would you say the culture in Brazil is a bit different?
00:05:50.420 Is that why you're more open?
00:05:51.600 Yeah.
00:05:51.880 Like most girls are bisexual, like most girls are kind of like sexually liberated.
00:05:56.360 Like we would go out to the clubs together.
00:05:58.280 We'd end up bringing home like, you know, two other groups of girls a lot of nights.
00:06:02.180 And we had like a stripper pole in the house.
00:06:03.360 So there'd be a lot of nights where we'd get back to the house.
00:06:04.920 And there's like 10 Brazilian girls like running around naked in the house.
00:06:07.420 I'm like the only guy.
00:06:08.140 Yeah, I think we're more open.
00:06:09.440 How does it work the other way around?
00:06:11.600 So if she brings back a dude, well, that's not allowed.
00:06:15.140 I've got a question about this as well.
00:06:17.220 I've never come across anyone that has this set up.
00:06:20.340 Do you think that you're okay with how you're living?
00:06:22.940 Because he meets your other needs?
00:06:24.460 Like, does he meet your needs emotionally?
00:06:26.820 So is that, does that make it okay?
00:06:28.680 Because like, when, like, what I like when he goes out, like to the other place to bang is like, he comes back happy.
00:06:36.960 If he's happy, my life is like, becomes like, so much easier, you know, like, if it comes, like, if it comes back of a smile, oh, it's okay.
00:06:45.480 I always ask, how was your banging?
00:06:47.460 Oh, it's okay.
00:06:48.160 Cool.
00:06:48.420 Nice.
00:06:49.040 But like, what?
00:06:51.320 She always says, have a nice banging before I go.
00:06:53.540 Because I have a second place now.
00:06:54.680 Like, we were doing it like in the same house and that got to be too much.
00:06:57.220 Like, there was literally, and this is like quality problems.
00:06:59.200 There was like periods of time when those three girls were living in the house where I was still having other girls over all the time.
00:07:04.380 And the three girls would like be in their room while I would have other girls in the house.
00:07:07.860 Because you had like two floors place.
00:07:10.840 So it was like easier because the up floor was like a set up like with food, nice stuff, the bar, you know.
00:07:20.020 So it would like use the other, but it's like, it was too much at that time.
00:07:24.000 So then why do you think that you need more women?
00:07:26.440 And is it because you can't live without sex, which is what we're thinking about?
00:07:29.020 No, I just like, like, I devoted my whole life towards like, you know, the dating game.
00:07:33.440 And I just enjoy like going through the whole process and stuff like that.
00:07:36.740 And if you look like, you know, back in history, like monogamy isn't natural anyways.
00:07:40.400 It was mostly imposed by the church and the state to have familial units and stuff like that.
00:07:45.280 It's not natural at all.
00:07:46.500 If you look at the animal kingdom and stuff like that, right?
00:07:48.740 There's like a tribal leader, like in monkeys, for instance, and that sleeps with all the different females.
00:07:53.300 And the females are all attracted to that tribal leader, but they'll go to other tribes and try to sleep with the alpha leader of that tribe.
00:08:00.120 Right.
00:08:00.580 And then there'll be like fights and stuff like that.
00:08:02.400 But don't you think that's like a self-esteem thing though?
00:08:06.200 Because I'm trying to look at the, I'm trying to get deep.
00:08:09.460 Also, you're not monkeying.
00:08:10.220 Because, yeah, because I'm thinking, because I'm from a Caribbean culture and African culture.
00:08:16.460 I've got both sides and I'm telling you right now, I, I'm too, no, it just could not happen.
00:08:27.020 Like, it could not happen.
00:08:28.840 And I think also in the UK, like what she's saying.
00:08:31.640 Have you ever been in a situation, Shep?
00:08:35.680 Yeah.
00:08:36.280 So you're sharing a guy anyway.
00:08:37.720 Without knowing.
00:08:38.780 I've been in a relationship and the man's been for the streets.
00:08:42.220 But yeah, no, I hear that, I hear that, but actually like, yeah, like co-sign it.
00:08:48.540 And allowing it to be like part of the lifestyle.
00:08:49.820 Would you rather they lie to you and you just don't know?
00:08:53.060 Could you be okay with it if you didn't know?
00:08:55.520 Wait, would I, no, I wouldn't be with that person.
00:08:59.020 But you wouldn't know.
00:08:59.860 Yeah.
00:09:00.220 Yeah, but they don't know.
00:09:01.400 That's the thing.
00:09:02.040 What I value most is like the truth, you know?
00:09:04.960 Yeah, exactly.
00:09:05.740 It's like the thing is about like, he can be like sure.
00:09:08.820 Like if he sits by my side and if he opens his mouth to tell me anything, he can be sure.
00:09:16.140 The truth, 100%.
00:09:17.120 Because there's no lies, you know?
00:09:19.280 Because men are going to do what they want anyway.
00:09:21.120 And that's why it's better for communication, which I understand.
00:09:24.140 I think it's so authentic.
00:09:26.580 It is.
00:09:27.220 I'll tell you something though.
00:09:28.720 And I all do respect to you, right?
00:09:31.320 But men will find it, at least the men that I'm surrounded by, and I'm 32 and I'm surrounded by loads of men, especially how quality men coaches, blah, blah, blah.
00:09:40.820 But anyway, men will find it very difficult to get married to a prostitute just because of her work, period.
00:09:49.120 And other way around, I think women is the same, right?
00:09:52.660 Like some men will marry a prostitute, but on the promise of like, okay, she will change her job, blah, blah, blah.
00:09:57.560 But you will find it very difficult for a man to settle down with a prostitute.
00:10:01.660 I've dated a lot of strippers, for instance, like they were like reversing it.
00:10:05.080 But did you get married to them?
00:10:06.140 No, but like I had a lot of stripper girlfriends in different places.
00:10:08.520 Yeah, girlfriends is different when you're married and having children to a stripper or a prostitute.
00:10:13.540 Now listen, there's a lot of prostitutes that are amazing girls, and they're out there doing that job to support their families and their circumstances is just different.
00:10:23.120 They could look me better than me.
00:10:23.720 A hundred percent.
00:10:24.980 Now, but they do get pushed down or like not looked at because they're prostitutes or strippers.
00:10:30.820 It's the same for men, the quality of men, and he can make a lot of money, whatever it is.
00:10:34.880 Wait, you think it's the same for men when they've slept around?
00:10:38.180 When they slept around and openly sharing about it, and it's just everyone knows about it.
00:10:42.400 I have a question, I have a question.
00:10:44.880 Are women skeptical and reluctant to sleep with Drake?
00:10:51.220 Now here is the thing, right?
00:10:53.660 This is the thing.
00:10:56.160 Definitely, I will just answer your question.
00:10:57.920 It's a no-no, right?
00:10:59.800 They're not.
00:11:00.520 Yes.
00:11:01.080 What about, I've been asking you another thing, what about rappers, ballers?
00:11:03.680 Nick Cannon, look at Nick Cannon, he's got all the baby ones.
00:11:05.900 But here's the thing, who are they going for?
00:11:08.320 Yeah.
00:11:08.540 Listen, if they're going for a certain type of girls that's like unknown, they earn less
00:11:15.080 than them, kind of like structure, yeah, they will not hesitate in two seconds.
00:11:23.100 And Drake had a kid with a stripper.
00:11:25.300 But high quality women will definitely not sleep with Drake and so many other rappers.
00:11:30.980 That's true.