JustPearlyThings - October 12, 2023


She Gets ROASTED for Asking For This Kind Of Men in 2023


Episode Stats


Length

27 minutes

Words per minute

209.97755

Word count

5,800

Sentence count

516

Harmful content

Misogyny

33

sentences flagged

Hate speech

22

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about vulnerability in relationships and how to deal with it. We discuss how to be emotionally strong in a relationship and what to look out for in a partner. We also talk about what it means to be a good provider for your partner and what they need to do to make sure they can provide for their partner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 But that's different when she said on the first day, why would you be so comfortable to open up someone?
00:00:08.600 But the point is every girl's different, right? 0.99
00:00:10.900 So every girl's different with what they'll tolerate. 1.00
00:00:13.400 So why are they going to play, like, roll the dice when they could just not deal with it at all?
00:00:17.780 I think, again, the balance of probabilities, if you had 10 men and 10 women lined up.
00:00:22.580 I mean, it seems to me that women, like, they want the guy to be the leader. 0.98
00:00:25.480 They want the guy to be emotionally strong.
00:00:26.780 They want the guy to be the rock, basically.
00:00:28.600 Not the rock as in the rock, but they want the guy to be their rock.
00:00:31.900 And if the dude is, I mean, obviously, he's not going to be crying every night.
00:00:34.580 But, you know, if the dude is, like, emoting the whole time and he's looking to her for support excessively, that's going to, it just seems to me it's going to put her off.
00:00:42.140 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:42.700 And there is a school of thought in the sort of men's online self-help space that basically says, you know, you should not be vulnerable in front of the woman that you're with because she's going to lose attraction for you.
00:00:52.640 And if she loses attraction for you, then that's the, that's, you know, it's game over there, basically.
00:00:57.120 Yeah, she's got the ick.
00:00:58.100 Exactly, exactly.
00:00:59.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:00.400 I think that's too extreme, though.
00:01:02.860 Because it's like.
00:01:03.740 Yeah, it may well be, but I'm just saying that that's, there's that school.
00:01:07.180 Everyone is vulnerable, including men.
00:01:09.000 So if you need a bit of hard time, it's like, I wouldn't like to, oh, yeah, don't come to me.
00:01:13.820 Just go and fix your stuff and then come to me.
00:01:16.380 I think, I think some guys, though, I've never been married, so I can't speak to this personally, but I think some guys, you know, you feel like you meet this, you meet the woman and you guys are in a relationship.
00:01:24.480 It's all great.
00:01:25.160 And you think, oh, now I can, now finally I can relax.
00:01:27.640 Now I can, now I've got somebody who I can talk to and she can help me with my feelings and blah, blah, blah.
00:01:32.760 But the problem is, when you then do that, that can sometimes give the woman the ick, you know, and the woman's like, oh, wait a minute, this isn't the strong, you know, stable oak that I signed up for.
00:01:42.340 And then you're, and then you're in trouble.
00:01:43.880 So, but I agree, it's a sliding scale.
00:01:46.320 Not everyone's the same, right?
00:01:47.340 I mean, there's, you know.
00:01:49.540 I think it matters about timing and duration, depending on how long you guys have been together for.
00:01:54.300 Depends on when you need to open up, because my partner opens up to me, but that took a long time.
00:01:58.560 And even when he does, it's limited information.
00:02:01.560 He's not going to cry to me.
00:02:02.960 He's not going to cry to me.
00:02:03.860 Would it be attractive if your partner cried to you all the time?
00:02:08.460 Baby, don't cry to me.
00:02:12.120 But he doesn't cry to me, but I always let him know that, you know, I'm supposed to be your safe haven.
00:02:18.000 You know, your partner is supposed to be that safe space.
00:02:20.440 But doesn't mean cry to me from Monday to Friday to Sunday.
00:02:24.560 Not every day, but, you know, that I'm supposed to be your safe space.
00:02:30.720 So, I'm curious for you, because you said you want a guy to meet your standards.
00:02:36.800 What are your standards?
00:02:38.880 I would say he needs to be tall.
00:02:41.340 I'm 5'6", so 5'10", minimum.
00:02:43.800 Okay.
00:02:45.060 He needs to be earning.
00:02:47.160 Do you know what?
00:02:47.860 I'm not specific about numbers, because I actually don't, like, I'm not on a salary.
00:02:51.160 Like, I work for myself, so, do you know what I mean, I don't get salary, so I don't really know how people manoeuvre.
00:02:55.900 But he needs to be able to look after me, pay the bills, pay everything, and then also give me money on top.
00:03:02.580 Not that I won't do the same for him, but I'm just saying what he needs to be able to do.
00:03:04.460 Wait, so you want him to pay 100% of the bill and give you, how much money does he have to give you on top?
00:03:09.140 He needs to pay 100% of the bills.
00:03:10.400 He just needs to give me money, like, if I want to buy something.
00:03:12.720 So, how much of a month, roughly?
00:03:14.500 For example, I might want to buy a Dior bag this month.
00:03:18.380 If I start from about 2, 3K, then I might need that.
00:03:22.660 But it won't be all the time.
00:03:23.960 It'll be sometimes.
00:03:24.800 Can you know just about it by yourself?
00:03:26.820 I can definitely buy it by myself, but sometimes things feel nicer when it's a gift from your partner.
00:03:31.560 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:03:33.000 Yeah.
00:03:33.360 What do you mean?
00:03:33.740 What's the point of having a boyfriend?
00:03:35.200 So it can be a gift.
00:03:36.360 I don't think your boyfriend's supposed to take care of you.
00:03:39.020 Yeah, he doesn't need to be a bagel.
00:03:39.800 You know, he doesn't need to take care of you, but it's nice if he does.
00:03:42.060 That's something that I like.
00:03:43.120 I like luxury items, so that's something that I like.
00:03:46.540 If you go to Walthamstow Market, you can get them for $29.
00:03:52.380 But if you're the one who likes the luxury items, why does he have to pay for it?
00:03:55.700 No, I'm not saying I won't buy it myself, but this is the thing.
00:03:58.600 I'm not saying he even has to pay for it.
00:04:00.040 I'm just saying that he needs to make enough whereby there's capacity and there's room where he can afford to give me money for a bag if that's what I want to get at that present moment in time.
00:04:09.060 So I need him to be extremely comfortable.
00:04:10.860 There needs to be spare money everywhere.
00:04:12.740 Even on my part as well, there needs to be spare money where we can spend it luxuriously.
00:04:16.860 That's how I would like to live personally.
00:04:18.760 And what does he get in return?
00:04:21.220 He gets a loyal, loving woman who will eventually have his kids take care of the house. 0.98
00:04:26.920 You know, we'll also look after him.
00:04:29.040 If he likes gifts, he can get a gift as well because there's money there.
00:04:33.980 Okay.
00:04:35.120 Okay.
00:04:36.700 So how much money do you think that would cost?
00:04:38.700 Have two and three grand on the go?
00:04:40.720 Because that's what some people make in a month.
00:04:42.720 Yeah, yeah, that is true.
00:04:44.260 I mean, based on people around me, definitely 100, 100K plus salary for sure.
00:04:50.440 What percent of men do you think make that? 1.00
00:04:52.660 Oh, I know it's a low percentage, 100%.
00:04:55.040 I know it's not that high, but personally, the people I'm around to make that amount of money.
00:04:59.640 So I feel like it's accessible to me.
00:05:01.200 And that's why I have that standard.
00:05:02.860 Okay.
00:05:04.420 I think it's like 5% of men.
00:05:06.600 Yeah, it's very low.
00:05:07.760 So then do you think you're in the top 5% of women? 1.00
00:05:10.400 That make that amount?
00:05:11.360 No, no.
00:05:11.880 Just in terms of like what men look for.
00:05:13.960 Oh, I believe so, yes.
00:05:15.780 So like youth, purity, femininity. 0.83
00:05:18.700 I mean, I don't know.
00:05:19.660 I mean, men like men like me, but I don't know if I'm in the top 5%.
00:05:22.520 I would say I am.
00:05:23.540 I'm a very confident woman, but I don't know.
00:05:26.280 Okay.
00:05:27.040 What do you look for?
00:05:29.180 I look for someone who can match me in terms of like, for example, I drive.
00:05:34.020 I want a man that drives. 0.99
00:05:35.260 I live alone.
00:05:36.320 I want a man who lives alone. 1.00
00:05:37.800 I work.
00:05:38.740 I want a man that works. 0.76
00:05:41.800 And then on top of that, he needs to be at least like 5'10.
00:05:44.900 Yeah.
00:05:48.360 And yeah, that's it.
00:05:49.560 And when it comes down to money, I don't really have a figure on that.
00:05:53.000 The same as like 40%, 40%, 40,000.
00:05:58.440 I'm okay with that.
00:05:59.800 I've noticed in London, the girls aren't as picky about money. 1.00
00:06:03.240 Well, except her.
00:06:04.120 But I get a lot more 40, 50,000 like here than I do when I was doing podcasts in Miami.
00:06:13.440 Like here, I don't know why it's a lot lower here.
00:06:16.800 Because I think the percentage, there's not that many men, like you said, that are making
00:06:20.820 too many bro keys.
00:06:24.600 Yeah, but there's not a ton.
00:06:26.060 It's not a higher percentage.
00:06:27.880 I don't know what the difference is.
00:06:29.520 I could look it up maybe, but it's similar in the US.
00:06:32.600 It's still only 5%, 10% of men that make over six figures.
00:06:37.460 That's interesting.
00:06:41.440 So we're not that picky then, are we?
00:06:43.440 I mean, as well, I think if women weren't picky, then like we wouldn't be single. 1.00
00:06:51.120 Because there's always a guy that wants to date you.
00:06:53.460 Yeah.
00:06:54.660 Miami does seem to be particularly like money focused though.
00:06:57.780 Not that London isn't in certain pockets, but there's also a lot of more regular people
00:07:01.020 in London who maybe they're, you know, they're not as bothered.
00:07:04.680 What do you look for, Troy?
00:07:06.440 What do I look for?
00:07:07.920 Are you picky?
00:07:09.000 Extric, well, no.
00:07:10.140 No, I don't think it's all.
00:07:12.120 It's kind of an open.
00:07:12.880 He's extremely open.
00:07:14.260 It's an open door policy basically.
00:07:17.140 I mean, look, as a guy, I mean, what do I look for?
00:07:19.660 Obviously, I look for somebody that I'm attracted to, you know, somebody who I think is aesthetically
00:07:23.700 nice, you know, but equally it's about, is she pleasant?
00:07:29.480 You know, is she cool to hang around with?
00:07:30.740 I think that's really what it comes down to.
00:07:32.300 It's like you said before, I'm not bothered about what she makes.
00:07:36.040 I'm not bothered about her job.
00:07:37.340 I'm not bothered about really any of those things.
00:07:39.520 But is she somebody that I can chill with and she's just going to be pleasant and it's
00:07:43.640 not going to be, you know, hard work basically.
00:07:46.880 It's a pretty low bar really, but that's kind of what it is, you know?
00:07:50.440 I mean, but there has got to be that initial attraction to be fair.
00:07:55.220 So, yeah, I would say that really, you know, I don't think guys have a huge shopping list
00:07:59.920 of things that they're looking for really.
00:08:02.300 Right.
00:08:02.680 So can I ask why you're single then?
00:08:04.900 If your standards are not that high?
00:08:06.040 I just haven't met the right woman yet.
00:08:07.960 Then if your standards are low, but you're single, that means you're somewhat picky.
00:08:13.440 I am, no, I am somewhat picky.
00:08:15.380 And I was joking.
00:08:17.980 No, of course, I'm somewhat picky because, no, I was joking before.
00:08:20.800 I'm somewhat picky because like, I mean, look, I'm at an age now.
00:08:23.980 I mean, when I was in my 20s, you know, running around like a lunatic and, you know, whatever.
00:08:29.220 These days, I'm slightly less motivated by that.
00:08:33.180 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:33.580 So if I get to spend time with somebody, they've got to have certain, you know,
00:08:36.420 they've got to have a certain quality about them, you know?
00:08:38.220 And for me, the most important thing really is pleasantness.
00:08:40.700 And also, do we vibe?
00:08:41.820 You know, that's important as well.
00:08:43.400 It's not like she has to be super intellectual or she has to know about certain things
00:08:47.140 that I'm interested in.
00:08:48.040 But if we vibe, do we have a good chemistry?
00:08:50.200 You know, that's the important thing.
00:08:51.740 That's what I'm looking for.
00:08:53.260 But I'm single for other reasons.
00:08:55.320 I mean, I was in a relationship for a couple of years.
00:08:57.360 I came out of that a couple of years ago.
00:08:59.800 I just haven't really wanted to really get serious with anybody.
00:09:02.980 Do you know what I mean?
00:09:03.460 And also the nature of my job.
00:09:04.820 I'm traveling quite a lot and stuff like that.
00:09:06.460 So, you know, it's a number of reasons, really.
00:09:08.140 What are some turnoffs for you?
00:09:09.680 Well, a friend of mine, James Tusk, who's also a dating coach, has got a YouTube channel.
00:09:18.020 He was telling me about this.
00:09:19.720 He went on a date with an American woman in, it was in Tulum, I think, in Mexico.
00:09:24.660 And he went on a date with this American woman.
00:09:25.980 She was like from New York, bit of a ball breaker, you know, whatever. 1.00
00:09:28.520 And they played the question game.
00:09:29.740 So he's got this like thing where, say, right, I'm going to ask you a question.
00:09:33.280 You'd be completely honest.
00:09:34.600 Answer the question.
00:09:35.120 And then you get to ask me a question and you get to know each other like that.
00:09:37.860 So he's doing this question game with the girl.
00:09:39.420 Her first question was, what did you make last year?
00:09:43.620 So he was just like in the bar and he was just like, all right.
00:09:47.140 Isn't that rude?
00:09:48.120 Yeah, no, completely.
00:09:49.200 I would not ask someone.
00:09:49.880 No, completely.
00:09:50.720 But so he was like, well, all right, this date's over.
00:09:52.940 And then he just walked out and left her to it.
00:09:54.360 Really?
00:09:54.920 Yeah.
00:09:55.280 So that would be a massive turnoff for me.
00:09:58.500 That kind of ball breakery sort of very.
00:10:00.840 And it's very transactional as well, isn't it?
00:10:03.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:10:03.600 Like really, really transact.
00:10:04.440 So even if that is a, obviously, yeah, you know, you want to have a certain life, maybe
00:10:07.680 in the back of your mind.
00:10:08.600 But to come out with it like that, I mean, that sort of behavior.
00:10:11.520 It's almost like entitlement.
00:10:13.540 Absolutely.
00:10:13.860 She feels entitled to your money.
00:10:15.720 Yeah, completely.
00:10:16.500 And look, I mean, I'm sure British women would do that as well. 1.00
00:10:19.880 This is an American woman from one of the big cities. 1.00
00:10:21.920 It's just that whole thing.
00:10:23.620 It's not very feminine and it's not very attractive. 1.00
00:10:25.740 You know.
00:10:26.660 What are some other masculine things that you see women do often?
00:10:31.420 Oh, geez.
00:10:32.140 I mean, I think it's not even so much masculine things.
00:10:38.220 It's sort of like turning up late.
00:10:40.000 It's being disrespectful.
00:10:41.580 It's like being on their phone during the day.
00:10:44.180 You know, anything like that.
00:10:45.760 It's just like, look, this is this is game over.
00:10:47.720 Do you know what I mean?
00:10:48.300 Like there's got to be an element of sort of give and take in that.
00:10:51.760 Well, are you laughing?
00:10:52.560 Is that what you do?
00:10:53.180 No.
00:10:53.380 I'm on Tinder.
00:10:56.640 Sorry.
00:10:58.300 Yeah.
00:10:58.700 So just just general sort of bad behavior.
00:11:00.900 And I'm not saying like, oh, you know, she's got to, you know, live up to this strict code or something.
00:11:05.440 But it's a bit like, come on, you know, and just being difficult as well.
00:11:09.380 Not allowing the thing to flow easily because we're both here.
00:11:11.820 We're both trying to communicate, see if we can get on whatever.
00:11:13.780 So just, you know, just just just be chill, you know, what do you guys look for?
00:11:19.460 I feel like I look for someone who will provide me with emotional support and someone who's supportive, someone who does work.
00:11:28.460 I mean, I don't want to be someone who hasn't got a job and has no money.
00:11:31.440 No.
00:11:32.320 Yeah.
00:11:32.740 Someone who's just respectful, has money.
00:11:36.520 You don't have to be the richest guy in the world for me personally, as long as you've got some sort of income coming in that can support himself and me.
00:11:43.780 Once in a while, you know, it doesn't have to be a thing where he's taking care of me because, you know, I do make my own money.
00:11:49.220 But it's just always good to have a man that who has his own money and he can take care of the both of you as well.
00:11:54.680 So, yeah, that's what I look for.
00:11:56.560 And someone who's not shorter than me.
00:11:59.220 Yeah.
00:12:00.060 How tall are you?
00:12:01.080 I'm five foot five.
00:12:02.220 Five foot five.
00:12:02.680 So five six is good?
00:12:03.840 No, at least five seven.
00:12:06.380 Yeah.
00:12:07.000 Five seven.
00:12:07.760 Yeah.
00:12:08.340 Okay, go ahead.
00:12:10.160 I'm not going to say what I look for because I already have a boyfriend.
00:12:12.740 Oh, what made your boyfriend different?
00:12:14.620 You could say that.
00:12:15.740 He ticks all the boxes.
00:12:17.640 You know, he's ambitious, he's intellectual, he's successful, he looks after me.
00:12:25.680 You can tell she's happy.
00:12:27.200 She's got like that hair. 1.00
00:12:28.900 Happy.
00:12:30.440 He puts you first, what I want to get.
00:12:34.080 He just makes me feel special.
00:12:36.240 And that's what I think a man's supposed to make you do.
00:12:38.220 I don't feel like you should settle.
00:12:40.340 I feel like everybody has someone out there for them.
00:12:44.600 And that's what I believe because I found mine.
00:12:47.600 So I think everyone else.
00:12:48.340 Period.
00:12:48.920 You think everyone is someone out there for them?
00:12:51.220 Absolutely.
00:12:51.920 I feel like, you know, absolutely.
00:12:54.600 I got to say this.
00:12:56.180 I feel like a lot of people would say my list is very, very, very, very picky.
00:13:00.460 But I found mine.
00:13:01.480 I mean, he's got fear in suit.
00:13:03.140 I can't go wrong.
00:13:04.000 I got to say that.
00:13:05.580 How can everyone have someone out there for them when there's more women than men? 1.00
00:13:10.400 Some of them are incarcerated right now.
00:13:12.160 So y'all got to wait.
00:13:15.160 No, don't do that.
00:13:16.680 Even if you just look at the population, there's 55% women, 45% men.
00:13:20.880 What are the 5% of women? 1.00
00:13:22.340 What are we doing?
00:13:22.800 I feel like some women then choose to just settle for anything. 1.00
00:13:26.720 No, some women don't want men. 1.00
00:13:29.000 Some women don't want men. 1.00
00:13:31.320 Some women don't want men. 1.00
00:13:32.860 Yeah, that's true.
00:13:34.200 When you take out the percentage that don't want men and don't want to have a family.
00:13:37.880 But then there's also guys that don't want girls, right?
00:13:40.420 Yeah.
00:13:40.660 So you got to, it's on both ends, you know.
00:13:43.680 Y'all guys are for God.
00:13:44.680 Yeah, I feel like it just depends, really.
00:13:46.700 But I definitely feel like if you're on here and if you're on this earth,
00:13:51.580 there's definitely someone for you.
00:13:53.340 And I don't feel like anyone should settle.
00:13:55.240 Definitely not.
00:13:56.080 I don't agree with that.
00:13:58.000 Yours is to come.
00:13:59.640 What if you think you deserve someone that's 6'5", makes $250,000 a year?
00:14:08.060 Yeah.
00:14:08.780 Let me tell you how my God works.
00:14:10.140 My God works.
00:14:10.940 Your God.
00:14:11.600 My God.
00:14:12.060 It's not his God.
00:14:14.560 He might not give you 250, but he might give you 200.
00:14:17.440 And baby, you're going to settle if that's what you want.
00:14:19.900 Like, there's different attributes when it comes to people.
00:14:23.120 But then you won't settle.
00:14:23.860 He might not be higher.
00:14:25.000 Yeah, but he might not be, you might want like 250 in regards to money.
00:14:29.340 And he might have the best personality.
00:14:32.400 So, you know, it's going to accommodate the 50K less than what he initially owes,
00:14:38.120 than what you initially wanted.
00:14:39.600 You know, so it works.
00:14:41.660 So then you do have to settle in some way, don't you think?
00:14:45.560 Yeah, but it just depends on how much you settle.
00:14:48.300 Yeah, how much you settle for.
00:14:49.420 Yeah, because I don't agree in settling less.
00:14:51.540 No, it's not too much.
00:14:53.160 Yeah.
00:14:54.000 Why don't you guys women always talk about we can't settle instead of maybe we should bring more? 1.00
00:14:58.820 No, I bring to the table.
00:15:00.140 That's why I can have such.
00:15:01.440 I'm not talking about you.
00:15:02.440 I'm just talking about women in general. 1.00
00:15:03.840 Like, because I always hear like, and again, I do these panels so much.
00:15:07.480 So we always, like, I always hear that we can't settle,
00:15:09.460 but we never talk about like bringing more to the table for men.
00:15:12.500 So like getting in better shape, you know, learning how to cook,
00:15:15.300 learning how to clean, like offering more as a way.
00:15:16.800 But I do all of that.
00:15:18.020 That's why I feel like I'm allowed.
00:15:19.940 No, but me personally, that's why I feel like I'm allowed to have such high requirements
00:15:24.300 because I play my part.
00:15:25.920 Do you play yours?
00:15:27.060 Why do you think women in general don't talk about self-improvement 1.00
00:15:29.880 other than surgeries mostly?
00:15:33.840 I feel like some women are entitled. 1.00
00:15:36.560 I feel like, again, a woman's going to hold a home and be all kids. 1.00
00:15:41.600 So they feel like they have the, I can look, or I can be a particular way.
00:15:46.300 And you just adjust to that.
00:15:48.260 But I feel like that's how society has created women. 1.00
00:15:52.180 Society has created that.
00:15:53.940 Yes.
00:15:54.820 Well, in society, sorry, in society in general, women are put on a pedestal, aren't they? 1.00
00:15:58.520 So I think there's a general, not every single woman, 0.92
00:16:01.120 but I think there's a general perception of like, well, I'm the girl,
00:16:04.040 so he's lucky to get me.
00:16:05.300 Yeah, 100%.
00:16:05.880 But I feel like some men want different things as well.
00:16:09.640 Not every guy wants, not every guy minds having a girl that cooks, 1.00
00:16:12.700 that does this, because some men do it themselves.
00:16:15.100 So I feel like it just depends on the man.
00:16:17.720 I mean, I don't think it has to be cooking,
00:16:19.100 but I think that like, most men want a woman that has some degree of femininity,
00:16:23.140 where they feel like they're taken care of, taken care of.
00:16:26.160 Femininity, I think, is really important.
00:16:27.800 And I think it's, sadly, it's a little bit of a lost art in the West,
00:16:32.740 without wanting to sound too, you know.
00:16:35.020 Oddly.
00:16:37.940 But one thing you guys didn't mention was physique.
00:16:40.240 How important is physique?
00:16:41.200 Because there's this classic thing, is there 666 women look for six pack? 1.00
00:16:44.320 So, sorry, six figures, six foot tall, six pack abs.
00:16:47.560 So, I mean, is physique important?
00:16:48.860 Yeah, my man goes to the gym, so I'm good.
00:16:51.420 Nice.
00:16:52.100 I'm not particular about physique.
00:16:53.780 Yeah, I'm not either.
00:16:55.000 So, if he's, I don't know, 300 pounds, cool.
00:16:59.280 Absolutely not.
00:17:00.220 Not that he's a huge person, but like, he doesn't have to have six packs.
00:17:04.220 He can be chubby, like, he can be XXL, like, I don't mind.
00:17:07.640 Really?
00:17:08.200 But 300 pounds, no.
00:17:11.220 How big is 300 pounds?
00:17:13.000 No, if that's huge, no, please.
00:17:15.080 I'm a small girl.
00:17:17.200 No.
00:17:18.280 Okay, what about you guys?
00:17:19.440 He's here to be in shape.
00:17:21.180 No.
00:17:21.520 No, I'm not bothered about shape like that.
00:17:23.300 Yes, but not like, 30 degrees, not like, obsessed.
00:17:27.120 Height?
00:17:27.660 Yeah, you've got to be taller than me.
00:17:28.740 I like, when I wear heels, can you please still look a bit taller than me?
00:17:31.600 That's all I ask for.
00:17:32.820 What about you, in shape?
00:17:34.880 Um, yes.
00:17:38.900 Yeah, he does have to be in shape.
00:17:40.540 Um, and by that, I don't mean that he has to, um, you know, have like the rock hard abs
00:17:46.180 and, you know, be looking like the rock.
00:17:48.280 No, but, um, for me, I feel like it does come down to health as well.
00:17:53.620 Like, it's not just about the way the person looks, but if they're healthy with it, but
00:17:57.740 someone can be big and they can also be healthy.
00:18:00.040 So it just depends on obviously how they are and how they decide to live.
00:18:04.680 Yeah, do you, do you feel like you're healthy?
00:18:07.800 Yeah.
00:18:09.060 I might not look it, but I am.
00:18:11.600 Would you be okay with a guy that was bigger than you?
00:18:14.720 Um, no.
00:18:15.720 As long as he was healthy?
00:18:17.220 No, um, no, because I'm actually in the process of losing weight.
00:18:21.720 Okay.
00:18:22.080 So, no.
00:18:23.180 Okay.
00:18:23.680 So how, how big about would you want him to be?
00:18:25.940 Um, we can say about, um, I'm going to say around 150.
00:18:32.440 Around 150.
00:18:33.440 Yeah.
00:18:34.440 Okay.
00:18:35.440 Yeah.
00:18:36.440 Or are you?
00:18:37.440 No, I was just going to say for, it's interesting because a lot of guys out there become, you
00:18:42.940 know, just, just gym addicts because they think that that's the answer.
00:18:46.440 Do you know what I mean?
00:18:47.440 You think if I, I'm just going to get massively ripped and then women are just going to flock 1.00
00:18:51.320 to me.
00:18:52.320 And it's kind of interesting that pretty much everyone's response was actually, that's not
00:18:55.320 the case.
00:18:56.320 Cause I, I mean, look, I mean, I think we should all be going to the gym.
00:18:58.040 I think, I think that's, you know, taking care of yourself, exactly, exactly, exactly.
00:19:02.480 But I think it's just interesting for any guys watching this, the, this idea that you
00:19:05.500 have to, you know, look like the rock in order to, you know, get female attention does 0.99
00:19:09.940 is not really the case.
00:19:11.560 I'm actually curious, um, what would you guys take a guy that's funny or a guy with a really
00:19:17.760 good body?
00:19:18.760 Pick, pick one.
00:19:19.760 You don't get both.
00:19:20.760 Funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny.
00:19:25.320 Really?
00:19:26.320 Funny.
00:19:27.320 But are they just saying that?
00:19:28.320 Are they just saying that to virtue signal to look good on us?
00:19:30.320 I don't know.
00:19:31.320 Never really, no.
00:19:32.320 No, cause why would you want someone that's super ripped, but they're so serious all the
00:19:38.320 time.
00:19:39.320 It's like, how can you have fun?
00:19:40.320 But what about, what about that?
00:19:42.320 Um, you know, what, what is the case then?
00:19:43.320 Cause like, you know, in London, they've got that magic mic or whatever it is.
00:19:46.320 You know, that the thing that Channing Tatum was in and there's a picture of those guys,
00:19:49.320 you know, the rips and everything.
00:19:50.320 I mean, girls often when they go to that, they'll say, Oh, it's just a laugh.
00:19:53.320 It's just me and my mates, you know, but is it really, or is it just like the girls who
00:19:56.320 go to that?
00:19:57.320 They're just like these, you know, they're like, is it a serious turn on or not?
00:20:00.320 And if it's not, then why are you guys all saying body, body's not that important?
00:20:04.320 Oh, I was just going to say, I've never been, but I know what you're talking about.
00:20:18.320 I think, um, I think it's just nice to watch.
00:20:20.320 Like, I feel like I've heard guys say this before.
00:20:22.320 Like, Oh, she got the nicest bum, but like, no, it's not for me. 1.00
00:20:25.320 It's just like us for women. 1.00
00:20:26.320 Like, it's just nice to look at, you know, guys that are ripped, that have six pack, that
00:20:30.320 are dancing, that are moving sexy, but I don't have to be with a guy like that.
00:20:33.320 Can I just pose a quick question?
00:20:35.320 So there's this whole, this whole movement online of these guys, these black pill guys, 1.00
00:20:40.320 and they, their belief is that the only thing that matters is looks.
00:20:44.320 And if you haven't got looks, then you're, that's it, out of the equation.
00:20:47.320 So what do you guys say to that?
00:20:48.320 Presumably you don't.
00:20:49.320 That's a lie.
00:20:50.320 But to an extent, I disagree.
00:20:52.320 I feel like you must be attracted to someone to even initiate a conversation with someone.
00:20:56.320 I don't think you're going to initiate a conversation with someone that you don't find attractive.
00:20:59.320 But how does the conversation go on?
00:21:02.320 What makes you stay?
00:21:03.320 Yeah.
00:21:04.320 That's the personality.
00:21:05.320 Yeah.
00:21:06.320 Because if you're talking to a brick wall, I'm pretty sure you're not going to engage in
00:21:09.320 any more conversation.
00:21:10.320 Yeah.
00:21:11.320 Try something.
00:21:12.320 Is there a guy that you can think of, we could put on screen that we could ask them
00:21:16.320 if they find attractive, like a celebrity?
00:21:18.320 I don't know if there's someone you could think of.
00:21:19.320 What, you mean who's good looking or who isn't good looking?
00:21:21.320 No, not.
00:21:22.320 Like just to see if they date him if he was funny.
00:21:27.320 No, there's literally like, I'm not being funny, but like Jay Huss, for example, he's not the,
00:21:33.320 he calls himself ugly, but like he's got a funny, Jay Huss.
00:21:38.320 He's got a funny personality.
00:21:40.320 Like I keep up with him.
00:21:41.320 He's jokes.
00:21:42.320 I would speak to him, not just because he's an artist and he has lots of money, but he's
00:21:45.320 actually funny.
00:21:46.320 He's an ugly guy.
00:21:47.320 I don't think he's ugly.
00:21:48.320 I don't care.
00:21:49.320 He's not ugly.
00:21:50.320 I don't think he's ugly.
00:21:51.320 He's in shape.
00:21:52.320 Yeah, he's nice.
00:21:53.320 I've got one.
00:21:54.320 What about, there's a blogger, a podcaster called James Altucher.
00:21:56.320 James Altucher.
00:21:57.320 James Altucher.
00:21:58.320 He's got a really good podcast, like more of an audio podcast than this.
00:22:01.320 A-L-T-U-C-H-E-R. 1.00
00:22:03.320 Yeah.
00:22:04.320 Could you put him on the screen?
00:22:06.320 I could have put someone on it.
00:22:08.320 Okay, you can put both of them.
00:22:11.320 You can put two.
00:22:12.320 So if this, if this person was funny, right?
00:22:15.320 Yeah, if he was funny.
00:22:16.320 If you date him.
00:22:17.320 This is the thing.
00:22:18.320 He's short.
00:22:19.320 Absolutely not.
00:22:20.320 Absolutely not.
00:22:21.320 No way.
00:22:22.320 Absolutely not.
00:22:23.320 Too short.
00:22:24.320 Anyone?
00:22:25.320 He's funny.
00:22:26.320 Anyone?
00:22:27.320 He's funny.
00:22:28.320 Anyone?
00:22:29.320 No, thank you.
00:22:30.320 We already said about height.
00:22:31.320 You can't do that to us.
00:22:32.320 How old is he?
00:22:33.320 If he was tall and he was funny.
00:22:35.320 No.
00:22:36.320 I think he looks like he would have a funny personality though.
00:22:38.320 No, he looks funny.
00:22:39.320 Yeah, he could be my friend.
00:22:40.320 No, he looks funny.
00:22:45.320 What was the other guy's name?
00:22:47.320 James Altucher.
00:22:48.320 A-L-T-U-C-H-E-R. 1.00
00:22:51.320 He is funny.
00:22:54.320 He might be a bit older for you guys though.
00:22:55.320 That's the only problem.
00:22:56.320 That might validate it.
00:23:03.320 Can you get a younger picture of him as well, please?
00:23:05.320 Yeah?
00:23:06.320 No.
00:23:07.320 No, thank you.
00:23:08.320 No, no.
00:23:09.320 But look, guys, he's got a really good podcast.
00:23:10.320 So his podcast, right, he talks about success and he interviews like all different people,
00:23:27.320 sports personalities, finance people, you know, movie stars and stuff like that.
00:23:32.320 He's very funny, very intelligent, and he made a load of money.
00:23:35.320 Is nobody going there?
00:23:36.320 No.
00:23:37.320 No, thank you.
00:23:38.320 That just goes to show that looks does play a part as well, apart from being funny.
00:23:43.320 Yeah.
00:23:44.320 That's what I've just noticed.
00:23:45.320 Like, London girls seem to be more looks-based. 0.87
00:23:48.320 Looks definitely does play a part because, I'm sorry, I'm just not going to go for someone
00:23:52.320 that I'm not attracted to.
00:23:53.320 Unless, I mean, they could be capping though.
00:23:55.320 I don't know.
00:23:56.320 Have any of you dated a guy that makes $40,000 a year?
00:23:58.320 Or pounds?
00:23:59.320 40,000 pounds?
00:24:00.320 Anyone?
00:24:01.320 No.
00:24:02.320 You have?
00:24:03.320 Wait.
00:24:04.320 Yeah.
00:24:05.320 What do you mean?
00:24:06.320 Have you guys, because you all said around 40, not you, but everyone else said that.
00:24:11.320 Everyone else said around 40,000 pounds is what you would date.
00:24:14.320 I'm just curious, have any of you dated?
00:24:16.320 You said you have.
00:24:17.320 Yeah.
00:24:18.320 Yeah.
00:24:19.320 Yeah.
00:24:20.320 I don't know.
00:24:21.320 Oh, you don't know what they made?
00:24:22.320 No.
00:24:23.320 You know roughly?
00:24:24.320 I mean, because you can kind of tell by someone's lifestyle.
00:24:26.320 Not always, but just rule of thumb, right?
00:24:28.320 Yeah.
00:24:29.320 No, because when you're self-employed, it's difficult.
00:24:31.320 Not every year, you're going to have the same amount of income.
00:24:34.320 So, it really depends.
00:24:35.320 Yeah.
00:24:36.320 Okay.
00:24:37.320 What about you?
00:24:38.320 I haven't.
00:24:39.320 No.
00:24:40.320 They always made more?
00:24:41.320 No, a bit less.
00:24:42.320 Oh, less.
00:24:43.320 Yeah.
00:24:44.320 Yeah, they're telling the truth.
00:24:46.320 I never, I'm always confused about this, because I never know when the money thing really comes
00:24:51.320 up, because we encourage guys.
00:24:52.320 So, when we're teaching guys, you know, right, this is, go and talk to these girls.
00:24:56.320 This is how you interact.
00:24:57.320 We would encourage them to not lead with money, even if they're rich.
00:25:00.320 You know, we were teaching a guy in Colombia, Bogota, Colombia, and he was like a multi-multi-millionaire.
00:25:06.320 And we were saying to him, like, don't brag about that.
00:25:09.320 Like, keep that quiet, especially at the beginning, because you don't want to attract gold diggers. 0.99
00:25:12.320 And also, it can look try hard, kind of like, hey, babe, you know, look, you know, I'm making this amount of cash or whatever.
00:25:17.320 Like, for me personally, dating in London, it never comes up.
00:25:21.320 Do you know what I mean?
00:25:22.320 Like, they might, they might get a sense.
00:25:24.320 They might get, you know, kind of like, oh, they've got a kind of a sense of, from my lifestyle, like, you know, what I might be making.
00:25:29.320 But no, no woman's ever asked me.
00:25:31.320 And it's never been a topic of conversation, because I think the attraction should come from something else.
00:25:35.320 Do you know what I mean?
00:25:36.320 Which is true, I agree.
00:25:37.320 I feel like, me personally, I wouldn't ask a guy how much they're making.
00:25:40.320 But I would judge their, um, judge how much they're making by their lifestyle, like you mentioned.
00:25:46.320 It does show.
00:25:47.320 And, I mean, I feel like, it depends if you're comfortable with the guy.
00:25:49.320 Not everyone would just go out there and ask a guy, oh, how much do you make?
00:25:52.320 That's a bit crazy.
00:25:54.320 I think there are some women that do, but like, like that woman that James Tusk met, but maybe it's more of a, I mean, you've got to be pretty bold.
00:26:01.320 Yeah, I don't feel like a woman in the UK would ever form her lips to say, how much are you making?
00:26:07.320 That's not a UK thing.
00:26:08.320 No, it's not.
00:26:09.320 No, it's not.
00:26:10.320 Go ahead, go ahead.
00:26:11.320 Um, no, I was just going to say that.
00:26:13.320 I do think that, um, women in the UK, we don't judge them by how much they're making. 0.98
00:26:17.320 Our question will be, what do you work as?
00:26:19.320 Yeah.
00:26:20.320 That's the question.
00:26:21.320 What do you work as?
00:26:22.320 And if they're saying, oh, like, you know, I'm a cleaner, okay, cool.
00:26:25.320 Like, I know you're not making the money that I want.
00:26:27.320 If you're saying that, you know, you're, I don't know, like an inspector or you work in real estate or something like that, you're like, oh, okay.
00:26:34.320 Like, you know, so that's, that's UK.
00:26:37.320 That's how we ask.
00:26:38.320 Yeah.
00:26:39.320 I think what, well, we, we encourage guys to, to try to generate attraction through other means.
00:26:45.320 You know, the attraction is visceral.
00:26:46.320 The attraction is created between, you know, the chemistry between the man and the woman.
00:26:51.320 And the money is a peripheral issue.
00:26:53.320 And look, I mean, guys can, you know, they can, they can meet women like that.
00:26:57.320 They can have a, you know, they can get together with them, have one night stands, maybe friends with benefits or something.
00:27:01.320 Whether it, whether that leads on to something more is maybe another question though, because if the woman is looking for a certain lifestyle and the dude just, you know, hasn't got the cash for that, then that is going to become a problem. 0.96
00:27:12.320 But I think create, I think the attraction should just for any, again, any guys watching this, I think the attraction should be generated through something else in the first instance.
00:27:20.320 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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