JustPearlyThings - March 13, 2023


She Got OFFENDED When She Said This： Fat Women Are Not RESPONSIBLE


Episode Stats

Length

20 minutes

Words per Minute

212.106

Word Count

4,365

Sentence Count

434

Misogynist Sentences

43

Hate Speech Sentences

23


Summary

In this episode of Thick Privilege, we discuss the controversial topic of thin privilege and how it relates to Adele and her weight loss journey. We also talk about the importance of eating healthily and why it's not always a choice.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 It was men had really high standards. They wouldn't swipe right 50% of the time on dating apps.
00:00:04.760 But also, when you look at ethnic cultures, like Chinese, African, or anything like that,
00:00:10.540 it's always the mums telling the daughters, oh, you're putting on weight, you need to lose weight.
00:00:14.020 So it's not that that's, it doesn't tend to be a dad.
00:00:17.540 To be desirable because she's a woman.
00:00:20.040 Sorry, but again, I said before that there's certain things that we know are objective truths
00:00:24.000 and those women know that the objective truth is that men tend to like slimmer women.
00:00:29.460 They tend to. And so if you're going to make yourself more of a desirable female for men,
00:00:35.580 then yes, they are going to tell you, you need to lose weight.
00:00:39.200 Can I quickly dial back to thin privilege? Just something I've been thinking about.
00:00:43.260 So for anyone who doesn't agree that thin privilege is a thing,
00:00:46.780 what do you think about how people perceive Adele, how she, her weight before to her weight now?
00:00:53.240 Good point.
00:00:53.760 Like, so is she not perceived in a different way? Is she not treated differently?
00:00:57.480 But then it's not privileged though. It's more like she's being treated like,
00:01:01.800 it's, it's, it's like, that's, it's the norm, right?
00:01:04.720 It's like, yeah. So, so how, okay.
00:01:07.920 Even while she had a lot of weight on the, you know, the body positivity,
00:01:11.900 positivity movement was in there trying, like propping her up and everybody, you know,
00:01:16.180 body positivity movement's been around since like 2012.
00:01:19.220 It's been around for a long time.
00:01:20.380 But 2012 or anything is a, is a, is a long time to be honest. But, um, so she's lost weight now
00:01:25.440 and people are praising her, but she was also getting a lot of hate from a lot of the people
00:01:28.900 in the body positivity movement who were, who looked at her and saw that, okay,
00:01:32.100 maybe the message she's trying to send to other women is not, um, uh, a good one in that she's
00:01:38.040 losing weight. It's like that whole movement. It's, it's just an agenda. Like, it's like,
00:01:43.520 why not see that this person has worked in the gym, eating, eating healthy to lose weight,
00:01:50.240 to make herself look more attractive and even to make herself look healthier. Right.
00:01:54.200 Wouldn't it be more positive to say that that it would have been like, that's the positive
00:01:57.400 aspect of her losing weight. Right. Rather than looking at it and saying, okay, she's lost weight.
00:02:02.120 Now a lot of these girls are going to want to lose weight as well. Like what's wrong with,
00:02:05.380 but also, sorry to interrupt. I thought the body positivity, um, movement, um, on the basis of it
00:02:11.640 was the acceptance of all body types. Yeah, but you can't force people to like you.
00:02:15.900 Yeah, but why, why should we accept all body types? Because it's unhealthy.
00:02:23.500 Yeah, but sometimes it's not a choice. It's not as simple as that.
00:02:26.320 What do you mean? It is a choice. No, no, no, no, no. It's not always a choice.
00:02:30.840 Um, sorry, say that again. I said, it's not always a choice.
00:02:34.620 It's not a choice what you put in your mouth. Look at pictures from the 1950s, 1940s, 1930s, 1920s.
00:02:40.640 Girls did not look like this. What's the difference? It's eating.
00:02:45.360 In countries where there's famine, in countries where there's famine, do you see people morbidly obese?
00:02:52.020 Okay, I think we're being extreme. No, no, no, no. It's a good question. It's a good question.
00:02:55.520 Because, no, no, do you know why I'm asking? Because if it was something that comes about,
00:02:59.360 it just happens, I didn't choose to gain this weight. You would see it in countries where people
00:03:03.400 don't have food, yet you don't. So what does that say?
00:03:05.960 Okay, and that's a fair enough point. I do feel like we're being a little extreme because
00:03:10.000 girls can, I can put on weight if I just decide to change my contraception.
00:03:13.860 Yes, but however, however, however, however, not even just that, not just that.
00:03:17.660 Let's say you couldn't, you couldn't, um, choose. You have to take it.
00:03:21.280 Right.
00:03:21.520 Usually, if you're taking less calories, then you're, um, sorry, if you're taking less,
00:03:25.520 if you're burning less, uh, more calories than you're taking in, you will lose weight.
00:03:28.600 Right.
00:03:28.940 So that just means that you're, you're not, um.
00:03:31.940 But I think the issue, what I, the issue that I'm having with what you're saying is that
00:03:35.660 you're making it heavily seem like it's a choice. You're, you're fat because you want to be.
00:03:39.360 Because it is.
00:03:40.260 You might not want to be, but it's a consequence of your actions.
00:03:43.060 Yeah, like, how is it not a consequence of your actions?
00:03:46.580 If you eat more, you gain weight.
00:03:49.100 Just quickly, I, I suffered from an eating disorder for many years.
00:03:53.360 So when I went into an eating disorder clinic, that was, I was surrounded by people who not
00:03:58.080 only suffered from anorexia, bulimia, but also binge eating disorder.
00:04:02.220 And I can tell you for a fact that is not choice.
00:04:04.740 But we're not, but, but, but, but, but.
00:04:06.620 But we're not talking about that. We're talking about people that are obese.
00:04:09.580 Yeah, no, I'm talking about people who are obese.
00:04:11.680 But if you look at them, you don't know what is happening behind the scenes.
00:04:14.860 And that is, you can't be obese and have an eating disorder.
00:04:18.540 Yes, you can. It's binge eating disorder.
00:04:20.380 It's, well, then you're eating.
00:04:21.920 Yeah, yeah, you are eating, but it's emotional eating.
00:04:24.500 It's not a choice.
00:04:25.060 Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine. You can say they eat too much.
00:04:28.080 Yeah, but if you go into mental health, it's emotional eating.
00:04:31.720 Okay, but can I ask you a question?
00:04:32.620 It's not a choice.
00:04:33.080 Can I ask you a question?
00:04:34.260 Do you think that 80% of people, sorry, do you think that 80% of people in America have a binge eating disorder then?
00:04:40.480 Goddamn.
00:04:40.920 I do think that probably the percentage of people in America with binge eating disorder is a lot higher than in the UK.
00:04:47.260 I'm not saying 80% of people in the USA do, but I suspect a lot more people in the USA, if you look at statistics, maybe let's look at some statistics, probably a lot more people in the US do than in the UK.
00:05:04.020 The obesity, I actually did look this up.
00:05:07.360 So out of the ages of 24 to 25 to 34, 23% in the UK are obese, 35% are overweight, and 42% are normal.
00:05:18.060 And it's so small, the underweight category, that I can't even see it.
00:05:22.520 So even in the UK.
00:05:24.180 But you can equally have people who are of a healthy BMI that actually have a very unhealthy relationship with food.
00:05:33.200 So, I mean, you can have a good BMI and eat bad foods, yes.
00:05:39.320 Yeah.
00:05:39.820 That's possible, but it's still a choice.
00:05:41.940 The foods you put in your body are a choice.
00:05:44.740 We're trying to make excuses for people not eating right.
00:05:47.780 Like, we can't keep on doing that.
00:05:49.500 Yeah.
00:05:49.660 I don't think it's excuses, but I just, I can't, I don't think I can agree how heavily we're putting it on the fact that it's a choice.
00:05:56.860 But this is what I absolutely do.
00:05:58.400 But this is what women do.
00:05:59.980 Like, honestly, anytime a man has a standard, we shame them for it and take accountability away from women.
00:06:05.040 Oh, no, I'm not shame.
00:06:05.440 No, and this is, this is, I'm not saying specifically you, right?
00:06:08.340 But I'm saying in general, like, the men say they want thin girls or in-shape girls.
00:06:12.280 And then the body positivity movement comes.
00:06:14.440 There's no, but I'm saying there's no, there's no broke man positivity.
00:06:17.720 Hell no.
00:06:18.220 Yeah, because it doesn't exist.
00:06:19.280 Like, we take away accountability from women's poor choices.
00:06:22.580 And even now, like, when we're talking about, hey, it's a choice if you eat too much and you gain weight.
00:06:26.920 Yeah.
00:06:27.200 It's like we're taking accountability away from the women by saying it's not a choice.
00:06:30.680 But even within the context, sorry, go on.
00:06:32.680 Even within the context of bodies, right?
00:06:35.500 If, I'm, I was born six foot, so I'm, I'm happy, I'm good, but.
00:06:39.200 You were born six foot?
00:06:39.860 Sorry.
00:06:40.060 Genetically, I was, genetically predisposed.
00:06:44.400 I was genetically predisposed.
00:06:46.020 I was genetically predisposed.
00:06:48.540 I was genetically predisposed to be six foot.
00:06:50.900 Cool.
00:06:51.440 But if I wasn't, if I was born, if I was meant to be five foot, there is no one here that would say to me,
00:06:56.100 women should love you anyway.
00:06:57.220 Women should go for you anyway.
00:06:58.220 Women should find you attractive anyway.
00:06:59.880 You might say that, but most women won't.
00:07:01.960 So, date a fat guy.
00:07:04.160 I have.
00:07:05.640 I have.
00:07:05.880 Where is he now?
00:07:06.740 Where is, where is he now?
00:07:09.400 Where is he now?
00:07:10.240 I understand what you're saying.
00:07:11.040 You have money.
00:07:11.500 Back where I left.
00:07:12.700 I think, I understand what you're saying.
00:07:14.360 You're like, there's some people, for example, who might emotionally eat.
00:07:17.320 Yeah.
00:07:17.500 Right?
00:07:18.200 So, we can say, we understand why they made the decisions they did in those moments.
00:07:25.300 Right?
00:07:25.820 Because it may be to cope with something.
00:07:27.740 Right.
00:07:28.060 Right?
00:07:28.320 So, it's not saying that we can't have compassion for why they made those choices.
00:07:31.940 But at the end of the day, they did make those choices.
00:07:34.940 Yes.
00:07:35.420 Right.
00:07:35.680 And that's what we're saying.
00:07:36.600 So, they are worthy of love.
00:07:37.320 No, no, no, no.
00:07:38.300 Hold on.
00:07:39.220 Hold on.
00:07:40.120 No, you're taking it.
00:07:41.460 I'm sorry.
00:07:41.820 No one is saying that they're not worthy of love.
00:07:45.560 Or worthy of certain privileges that maybe a thinner woman would be a fool.
00:07:48.100 Well, here's the thing.
00:07:49.380 When it comes to thin privilege, I think it actually comes down to beauty or attractive privilege.
00:07:55.220 Because chances are, most people will probably find you more attractive if you're on the slimmer
00:07:59.280 side than if you're obese.
00:08:01.060 So, you think it's a thing of attractiveness and pretty privilege?
00:08:03.840 Not necessarily weight.
00:08:05.520 Well, being thin or being slim is a contributing factor to how attractive some people find
00:08:12.580 you.
00:08:13.020 That's just the way it is.
00:08:14.100 So, who?
00:08:15.120 Okay, do you know what?
00:08:15.760 So, pick a celebrity that you would say, a female celebrity that you would say you're
00:08:19.360 attracted to.
00:08:20.100 That you think is...
00:08:20.560 Megan Good.
00:08:21.160 Right.
00:08:21.720 If Megan Good was a size 20 tomorrow.
00:08:25.180 How big is that?
00:08:25.820 I don't know how big that is.
00:08:26.660 That's for me.
00:08:27.020 It's very big.
00:08:27.520 That's like older.
00:08:29.740 That's so big.
00:08:30.700 That's bigger.
00:08:31.260 That's bigger.
00:08:31.380 That's bigger.
00:08:31.640 That's bigger.
00:08:31.700 That's bigger.
00:08:32.200 That's bigger.
00:08:32.640 That's bigger.
00:08:32.700 That's bigger.
00:08:33.640 Like, she's obese?
00:08:35.200 She's obese.
00:08:35.840 She's obese.
00:08:36.540 It's affected every part of her from her knees, hairs, face, everything.
00:08:39.840 Okay.
00:08:40.140 Cool.
00:08:40.520 Cut your lips.
00:08:40.980 Would that suddenly change your level of attraction to her?
00:08:44.140 You've just said it's a contributing factor.
00:08:46.120 Of course.
00:08:46.840 Yeah, because it's not just the looks.
00:08:48.120 Of course.
00:08:48.320 It's the self-respect.
00:08:49.460 Let me ask you a question.
00:08:50.600 Let me ask you a question.
00:08:51.360 Her face ain't changed.
00:08:52.100 It has...
00:08:52.860 It will change.
00:08:53.640 Let me ask you a question.
00:08:54.800 Right?
00:08:55.100 Do you think Michael B. Jordan is hot?
00:08:56.820 Yeah.
00:08:58.240 He's like, what would you rate him out of 10, physically?
00:09:00.440 Seven.
00:09:01.020 Okay.
00:09:01.940 Hold on.
00:09:02.420 Hold on.
00:09:02.680 Hold on.
00:09:02.960 Hold on.
00:09:02.980 Michael B. Jordan?
00:09:04.800 That's the most controversial thing you've said.
00:09:07.020 A seven?
00:09:08.140 A seven?
00:09:09.180 You should have chose that.
00:09:10.020 Do you know what?
00:09:10.360 That's not a 10.
00:09:11.840 I don't know who is a 10.
00:09:12.820 That's an Idris.
00:09:13.240 Idris Elba.
00:09:14.080 Idris Elba.
00:09:14.340 Okay.
00:09:14.680 So Idris Elba.
00:09:15.380 Would you physically, would you rate him?
00:09:17.000 Oh, solid eight.
00:09:18.120 Solid eight.
00:09:18.500 Okay.
00:09:18.720 Are you telling me, yeah, if you became obese, yeah, you would still rate him an eight physically?
00:09:24.700 Are you saying your attraction to him would be the same?
00:09:27.060 So him working hard to be in shape for you is nothing?
00:09:30.340 Okay, it wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn't.
00:09:31.620 Thank you.
00:09:32.080 That's what we're saying.
00:09:32.700 Yeah, that's exactly the same.
00:09:33.980 That's what we're saying.
00:09:34.560 Everyone wants to know who you think is a 10.
00:09:36.580 So the one who has the highest standard, yeah, is the one that's saying if they were fat,
00:09:52.000 they'd still be the same.
00:09:53.000 The thing is, the thing is, I just think a lot of times we lied to like to women that
00:10:00.220 are overweight and say, oh, you're still worthy of love, right?
00:10:03.100 Because it's not, it's not that I say like nobody will love you.
00:10:06.280 But the guys that you want, aren't going to be interested in you because even bigger
00:10:10.220 girls, they don't want to date bigger guys.
00:10:12.040 Look at Lizzo.
00:10:12.820 Do you feel that they should?
00:10:14.140 Yeah.
00:10:15.140 I mean, no, I think, I think let's get them the best results.
00:10:19.840 So you can either say, A, lose weight.
00:10:22.260 That's probably the best way, right?
00:10:23.860 If Lizzo lost weight, she, she'd be cute.
00:10:25.900 Like a lot of guys would be interested.
00:10:27.640 And then you'll say she's not cute.
00:10:28.760 No, not, not.
00:10:30.040 I mean, smash or pass Lizzo guys.
00:10:31.920 One, two, three.
00:10:32.960 Pass.
00:10:33.400 Yeah.
00:10:34.160 Okay.
00:10:34.520 No, no, guys, guys.
00:10:35.720 If she was 120 pounds, smash or pass Lizzo.
00:10:38.060 One, two, three.
00:10:39.060 I don't know how much that is.
00:10:42.060 I don't know.
00:10:43.060 That's that.
00:10:44.060 Like if she was, she would be more attractive.
00:10:45.560 Yeah.
00:10:46.060 Yeah.
00:10:46.560 Like I'm saying more guys would be interested.
00:10:48.280 I'm not saying everyone, but like, but like she could possibly get the results that she
00:10:53.600 wants.
00:10:54.060 Right.
00:10:54.560 Right.
00:10:55.060 Right.
00:10:55.560 Or we could lie to her and say, you're beautiful at any size.
00:10:57.920 Guys will still be interested, but maybe some, but.
00:11:01.060 What would you say your issue lies?
00:11:02.400 Because it sounds like your issue lies in.
00:11:04.400 Okay.
00:11:05.400 Cool.
00:11:06.400 If you're going to be fat, fine.
00:11:07.400 But it's like, know it, own it and be okay with the limitations.
00:11:10.400 Okay.
00:11:11.400 So I have, I have a couple issues with it.
00:11:13.400 I have one, the issue that we lie to women.
00:11:15.400 Okay.
00:11:16.400 I don't like telling girls things that aren't true.
00:11:18.740 Right.
00:11:19.240 So saying like guys will still love you at any size.
00:11:21.240 Not true.
00:11:22.240 That's not true.
00:11:23.240 It's not.
00:11:24.240 Some guys.
00:11:25.240 Okay.
00:11:26.240 Okay.
00:11:27.240 The guys, the guys that you don't want will want you.
00:11:29.240 So you can, a guy, any guy that gets a lot of money has a pretty model on his side.
00:11:35.300 Or maybe, maybe she might not be a model, but she's in, she's attractive, right?
00:11:39.300 You don't see any billionaires with obese whale wives.
00:11:42.740 So that's, that's, that's, it's not because, because a lot of times, but we're talking about
00:11:48.740 exceptions and not the rule, right?
00:11:50.580 You might find a one-off and usually with the, if the rich guy does have a bigger, a
00:11:55.500 bigger girl with him, she got him young and she gave him that loyalty young and maybe she
00:11:59.580 gained weight later.
00:12:00.580 That's so unfortunate.
00:12:01.580 Also, we're talking about observable reality.
00:12:03.720 We're not just, you know, making blank statements, we're talking about observable reality.
00:12:08.320 We're not saying that women who are bigger cannot find love.
00:12:11.540 You can.
00:12:12.540 However, as a result of the fact that you're fat, you're bigger, your pool of men is become
00:12:17.140 smaller, unfortunately.
00:12:18.140 I'm not denying that.
00:12:19.140 But where I have an issue, I'm really not denying that.
00:12:21.260 But where I have an issue is pushing any narrative that makes it seem that they're not deserving
00:12:25.000 of the man that they want.
00:12:26.000 But I'm not saying that they are.
00:12:27.000 But they aren't.
00:12:28.000 But they aren't.
00:12:29.000 You are deserving of it.
00:12:30.000 Just do the work together.
00:12:31.000 No, no.
00:12:32.000 I'm saying you're not deserving if you're obese.
00:12:33.100 You don't deserve a guy that makes six figures if you're obese.
00:12:35.780 Why not?
00:12:36.780 Because they don't want you.
00:12:37.780 No, because they don't want you.
00:12:38.780 Why are we entitled to a man's time, affection, and money?
00:12:41.780 Because I'm big.
00:12:42.780 No, I'm saying.
00:12:43.780 I'm saying.
00:12:44.780 No, guys, guys.
00:12:45.780 Let me.
00:12:46.780 So what I'm saying is that you were not entitled.
00:12:49.780 Nobody's entitled to love you.
00:12:50.780 Like, so I'm not going to go to a broke guy and say, oh, you deserve love.
00:12:55.000 I'm going to say, no, get a job.
00:12:56.500 And so with the girls, I'm not going to say, oh, you deserve love.
00:12:59.980 I'm going to say, look, I'm sorry.
00:13:01.020 If you want those guys, get on the treadmill.
00:13:03.220 Do you correlate?
00:13:04.060 It's very similar because men and women are valued for different things.
00:13:08.400 Unfortunately.
00:13:08.980 Yeah.
00:13:09.320 And so I wouldn't say unfortunately because it's a lot easier for a girl to just be thin and
00:13:14.560 pretty.
00:13:15.200 But it's easier for a fat guy to get a girl.
00:13:17.400 So what if he has money and money is very much money is money.
00:13:20.860 I would say it's much harder to get money than to stay in shape.
00:13:24.020 Yep.
00:13:24.900 Absolutely.
00:13:25.560 100%.
00:13:25.920 So if a guy wants to make 120 pounds, right, a year, I think that's much harder than losing
00:13:32.700 50 pounds.
00:13:34.160 Yeah.
00:13:34.500 Okay.
00:13:34.920 And so what I don't like is lying to women and we coddle them from bad decisions and we
00:13:40.600 take all the accountability off of them and keep allowing them to make bad decisions instead
00:13:45.560 of, instead of telling them the truth and saying, Hey, if you want this guy, this is
00:13:50.360 the way you can get it.
00:13:51.900 But it's not a lie to tell a bigger woman that she's beautiful.
00:13:54.620 That's not a lie.
00:13:55.500 But here's, here's the thing.
00:13:58.040 It is because most of society doesn't see her as beautiful.
00:14:02.600 And so you could say, Oh, F beauty standards, but we know they exist.
00:14:07.180 You, you know, who's your prettiest friend.
00:14:09.060 You, you, you guys know, you guys know deep down when you walk into a room, you, you know,
00:14:13.880 I'm saying like, I, I, that's true.
00:14:20.560 Yeah.
00:14:20.760 And so you, you know who it is, but that doesn't mean that the bigger girls are not beautiful.
00:14:26.260 Can I ask you a question?
00:14:27.280 Okay.
00:14:27.540 What is beauty?
00:14:28.420 Someone, someone can find them beautiful.
00:14:30.280 I think what we're saying is that it's, it's in the observable reality.
00:14:34.480 It shows to be a minority of people.
00:14:37.840 But Pearl's not saying that she's, if I'm wrong, correct me.
00:14:40.480 I really feel like she's saying, Oh no, no, no, honey.
00:14:42.660 You're not deserving.
00:14:43.340 But the thing is, no one deserves love.
00:14:45.080 No one deserves love.
00:14:46.220 No, that's not true.
00:14:47.140 That is simply not true.
00:14:48.360 Here's the thing.
00:14:48.980 Here's the thing.
00:14:49.460 From a partner.
00:14:50.600 You, especially in the dating marketplace, you get what you deserve.
00:14:54.040 Right.
00:14:54.540 So if you are not, so if there is some, if there's somebody, if you are wanting, if a man
00:14:59.840 is wanting a certain kind of woman and he is not attracting her, then he probably hasn't
00:15:03.780 done the work and done the things where he deserves that woman.
00:15:07.240 Because if he did, then she would come to him.
00:15:09.540 And it's the same for a woman as well.
00:15:10.880 I think I'm struggling with the word deserve.
00:15:12.340 Because I just got to say it guys.
00:15:13.500 Okay.
00:15:13.640 No one's entitled.
00:15:14.200 Who is deserving of love is every single human being just for being born innately.
00:15:19.100 I feel like innately.
00:15:20.120 Hitler.
00:15:20.800 And that's what, yeah.
00:15:22.280 I think, I think, I think, okay.
00:15:23.520 No, I mean when he was born.
00:15:24.760 Obviously when he started doing mad stuff.
00:15:26.320 I don't disagree with you.
00:15:27.180 I don't disagree with you.
00:15:28.120 Right.
00:15:28.280 Let's change it.
00:15:28.920 Instead of saying love, let's say be chosen.
00:15:31.500 No, no.
00:15:32.020 I mean love.
00:15:32.620 I mean love.
00:15:33.100 Okay.
00:15:33.300 No, no, but what I'm trying to say is love is, love is very broad, right?
00:15:36.340 I think nobody is entitled to be chosen by anyone else in the world.
00:15:41.340 I'm not entitled to be chosen.
00:15:42.880 You're not entitled to be chosen.
00:15:44.180 But I have an entitlement in this world as a human being to be loved.
00:15:47.960 Yeah, but you can be loved by your people.
00:15:49.380 But what if you're not, what if you're not lovable?
00:15:53.080 No, I'm serious.
00:15:53.780 Everyone's lovable.
00:15:54.640 That's not true.
00:15:55.580 Some people are shitty people.
00:15:57.040 Yeah.
00:15:57.220 Some people.
00:15:58.200 Okay, maybe at least I say innately as in your born.
00:16:00.320 I'm saying as a child, sure.
00:16:02.240 I think every child deserves to be loved, but some adults are shitty people.
00:16:05.880 Oh, 100%.
00:16:06.460 A bigger child don't deserve love?
00:16:08.160 A bigger child.
00:16:08.840 A bigger child.
00:16:09.540 A bigger child.
00:16:10.240 I would actually talk to the parent because I think it's child abuse if you're making...
00:16:13.700 Damper.
00:16:14.020 Yeah, no, I'm serious because that's the biggest disadvantage you can put your kid at.
00:16:20.280 And you're in charge of their food.
00:16:21.700 So if you have an eight-year-old that's obese, I'm talking to the parent.
00:16:24.440 Wait for a little bit.
00:16:25.120 Can I just say something in fact?
00:16:25.940 Can I just say something just really quickly?
00:16:27.720 One at a time, guys.
00:16:29.060 I just want to say, yeah.
00:16:29.560 So I think the main issue we have here is what we see over and over again is people
00:16:37.620 who are obese, fat, out of shape, trying to shame men into liking them.
00:16:45.540 And that's the main problem.
00:16:47.020 So let's say if I was with someone right now, I mean, we're not dating her.
00:16:50.640 I just met her, right?
00:16:51.940 She was on the larger side.
00:16:53.340 I wouldn't be trying to put her down or anything, right?
00:16:55.940 I would never have an issue, like an ounce of any issue with her, right?
00:16:59.220 But where I might start to develop issues is maybe when she starts to tell me, like,
00:17:04.380 I should love her for who she is.
00:17:06.260 Like, it's like, as a person, you're fine.
00:17:09.080 You're, you know, you're friendly, you know, all that stuff.
00:17:11.820 But just on an attraction level, it's just not there.
00:17:15.620 But when you start to try and shame me into wanting you, like, into being attracted to
00:17:20.460 you, that's just not going to work.
00:17:22.400 I feel like it's not mature as a man.
00:17:24.040 Yeah, I feel like for you not, it's just childish.
00:17:25.940 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:17:26.860 Childish to one of our attraction, wasn't it?
00:17:29.060 Can I respond to that?
00:17:30.400 Attraction is not a choice, right?
00:17:33.040 It's your, you can't negotiate what you're attracted to and who you're attracted to.
00:17:37.140 So you wouldn't say a woman solely because, I don't even necessarily agree with you.
00:17:40.300 I would say yes.
00:17:42.380 But on the flip side, on the flip side, if you went to a man and he wasn't making the
00:17:48.240 money that you wanted him to make, you wouldn't give him the time of day.
00:17:51.440 If he's personality banks.
00:17:53.220 No.
00:17:53.580 You wouldn't give him the chance to, can I, can I say something?
00:17:58.120 This is what you would do.
00:17:59.660 You would date him and hope he gets a job, but at some point, if he doesn't get a job
00:18:03.760 or start making the money you want him to make, you're gone.
00:18:06.040 Okay.
00:18:06.220 You're only going to, you're only going to put up with that for so long.
00:18:08.500 Is that true?
00:18:09.060 Is that true?
00:18:09.380 Is that true?
00:18:10.580 Yes or no?
00:18:11.100 Are you going to date a bum?
00:18:12.100 Are you going to marry a bum the rest of your life?
00:18:14.180 I don't know.
00:18:14.520 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:18:15.400 Okay.
00:18:15.560 Hold on guys, let Jess finish.
00:18:17.440 Jess is two different things when it comes to a size of a woman and how much money a man
00:18:23.840 makes.
00:18:24.100 But that's what men value is how a woman looks.
00:18:28.140 And women value how much a man makes because it's innate in us for a man, for someone to
00:18:33.340 be able to provide for us at the end of the day, no matter how much money we have.
00:18:36.460 And so it's a harsh reality to understand, like men look at looks, they don't care how
00:18:41.200 much money we have.
00:18:41.920 They don't care where we are at in the totem pole with finances, but they want to be able
00:18:46.160 to look at us and be like, they're presentable.
00:18:48.700 And as women, we want to be able to look at our man and be like, maybe, yeah, we're attracted
00:18:53.900 to him, but does he have the money?
00:18:55.560 Does he have the coins that we need?
00:18:57.120 If anything happens, he can provide for me and our family.
00:19:00.460 But also on top of that, sorry, on top of that, you mentioned that, you know, would
00:19:07.180 you not date a woman solely on the fact that she's bigger?
00:19:12.320 The thing is, I'm not saying that no man should date a woman that's big.
00:19:16.180 If he wants to date her, he should.
00:19:17.980 However, for me personally, I would not date a woman that's big because it's not conducive
00:19:22.440 for the sort of relationship I want.
00:19:24.480 Because inherently, if you are bigger, that means there are certain things you haven't
00:19:29.060 done.
00:19:29.320 You know, it means, unfortunately, it means you haven't worked out in a gym.
00:19:33.840 It means you haven't watched what you're eating because there is no, as I said, you
00:19:39.260 cannot go to a country with famine and see fat people that you won't.
00:19:42.140 So for me, for the woman that's going to raise my children, I don't want her to, you
00:19:46.660 know, teach them that you should just give into your inhibitions and, you know, just lack
00:19:52.800 discipline because it takes discipline to not get fat.
00:19:55.480 And I want that in a woman.
00:19:56.540 I want discipline in a woman.
00:19:57.540 Because if she's overweight, like that's one area of her life, she doesn't have discipline.
00:20:01.900 So it probably trickles down into other areas.
00:20:05.120 So she's, no, I'm serious.
00:20:06.780 It's typically, if you don't have discipline in one area, it trickles down into other areas.
00:20:10.960 The same way if a guy goes to a job and he's a bum, that trickles into other areas of his
00:20:15.740 life.
00:20:16.160 So with her, she might not be good at spending either.
00:20:18.540 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:20:25.100 this platform.
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