JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023


She Got Rejected and This Is How She Dealt With It


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

219.53111

Word count

1,982

Sentence count

233

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about rejection and how to deal with it. Have you ever been rejected by a guy? Have you approached a guy and have you been rejected? How do you deal with rejection?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Go for what you want.
00:00:00.740 Yeah, and my advice for guys, because I know that's the question, is don't listen to women. 1.00
00:00:06.900 Most of the time, they don't know.
00:00:08.520 Personally, I don't know what I want from a man.
00:00:10.500 Go and find someone that inspires you, a man that really have that perfect relationship.
00:00:16.300 There's so many coaches out there coaching you about relationship, but they're not in one.
00:00:20.000 Go and find a relationship that inspires you and get his advice.
00:00:22.680 He will be able to open his heart and share his advice with you.
00:00:25.640 So, question for the women. Have you ever approached a guy, and have you ever been rejected? 0.85
00:00:33.440 No.
00:00:34.160 Yes.
00:00:34.660 Yes.
00:00:35.100 Yeah.
00:00:35.640 Oh, cool.
00:00:36.260 Okay, tell me about it.
00:00:37.780 No, I've approached, but not been rejected.
00:00:39.340 Oh, you've never been rejected. Have you approached?
00:00:42.040 Yeah.
00:00:42.520 Have you been rejected?
00:00:43.360 Yeah.
00:00:43.820 What happened?
00:00:45.120 It's just when I open up and say what I want for my future, and what I, like, for example, that I want to be married, and I want to have a family.
00:00:52.920 Wait, you said that immediately?
00:00:55.320 Yeah.
00:00:56.160 Okay, pretend I'm the guy.
00:00:58.800 Well, not at a bar. Not at a bar and say, oh, I want to get married now. 0.99
00:01:01.360 Like on the first date or something like that.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, on the first date.
00:01:03.800 No, so I'm talking about, like, approaching a guy, like, cold approach.
00:01:06.720 Oh, no, no, no.
00:01:07.420 No, never. Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:09.840 I think I have.
00:01:12.620 At a bar, at a club, yeah.
00:01:14.040 And they're always into it?
00:01:15.180 Yeah.
00:01:15.500 Okay, what about you? Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:17.560 No.
00:01:18.100 No?
00:01:18.680 No.
00:01:19.040 Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:19.860 Hell no.
00:01:23.080 I don't think so.
00:01:24.380 No.
00:01:25.040 That's interesting, right?
00:01:25.900 I would know. I don't know. I don't think so. No.
00:01:29.060 I have.
00:01:30.200 Yeah, okay.
00:01:30.760 No, but I'm not cold with a husband.
00:01:32.340 You knew me.
00:01:32.780 No, never.
00:01:33.680 Yeah.
00:01:33.940 You've never cold a friend.
00:01:35.600 And what about you? Have you ever approached a guy?
00:01:37.520 Yeah.
00:01:37.720 Were you ever rejected?
00:01:38.820 Yes.
00:01:39.660 Really?
00:01:40.300 Yeah.
00:01:40.740 What do you say?
00:01:42.820 Oh, I remember, like, once I was, like, in the grocery, there was this really hot guy.
00:01:49.240 Like, it was, like, John. Like, exactly.
00:01:51.860 No, it was, like, my type, like this. And then I was, like, oh, my God. But I was, like,
00:01:56.840 you know, it was, like, civil engineer working on site construction. So, like, almost, like,
00:02:03.460 the majority of my time, I wasn't, like, dressed up. I wasn't, like, cute. It was, like,
00:02:07.960 with boots, like, jeans, like, you know? And then, like, I came up to him and he said,
00:02:13.000 oh, I'm sorry, I'm married. And I said, okay. Oh, but he's married. That's good.
00:02:18.820 Yeah, but it happens. And I think, like, when I was younger, too, like, I don't know. I think
00:02:24.700 getting rejected is, like, part of life. Yeah. And it is.
00:02:29.700 I'm curious from the guys. Is there a rejection that was, like, your worst rejection that you
00:02:34.200 can think of?
00:02:34.980 Well, I've called the push, like, probably tens of thousands of times. But, you know, every
00:02:38.960 now and then, there'll be a girl that just tells you to fuck off or, like, tries to insult 0.97
00:02:42.200 you personally or something like that. And that can hurt sometimes, right? You get over
00:02:45.860 that. Like, you just learn that it's going to happen sometimes. But especially for, like,
00:02:50.540 clients that aren't used to approaching, if they hear something that early on where the
00:02:54.340 person says, like, oh, no, I don't like you because of this and this, that sticks in their
00:02:57.840 head. And they think every girl thinks that. And it can be, like, debilitating. And that can
00:03:01.880 take them out of the game.
00:03:03.500 I think, for me, the worst approach, rejections I can remember is when they don't say anything.
00:03:09.360 They pretend they don't hear you.
00:03:10.300 No, they look at you, like, how dare you even think you have what it takes to come up
00:03:15.700 to me. And they don't say it. It's just everything in the eyes is saying that. And you feel like
00:03:20.660 shit.
00:03:20.920 Some girls, they don't hear you, too. Like, they just stand there. 1.00
00:03:23.660 But it'd be nice if they're pretending they don't hear you.
00:03:25.960 But the ones that heard you and they look at you like, they almost insult you that you
00:03:31.200 come up to them.
00:03:31.900 That happened to me, like, two days ago with a girl, okay? I just was complimenting her outfit.
00:03:37.260 I was like, oh my gosh, that's so cute. She just looked at me.
00:03:40.300 And I know she heard me. And then she just, like, kept, like, because I was sitting at,
00:03:46.160 like, a table bar. You know what I mean? And she just kept, she just, like, looked the other
00:03:50.140 way. Okay, then, then I go to this other place, right? And she's there. And then she starts
00:03:56.400 talking to me. And she's like, can you take my Instagram picture? I'm like, bitch. 0.99
00:03:59.600 I'm like, bitch. I just said hello before.
00:04:05.680 So I feel you. That was hard. But that was when I was young. Now I'm like, I'm sad.
00:04:10.300 It becomes almost, like, funny, though. Like, in the beginning, like, if a girl would ignore 0.87
00:04:13.620 her, I'd be like, oh my God. Like, I'm horrible. But now, like, if I go out to a bar and I'm
00:04:17.040 like, yeah, I want to meet you real quick. And the girl's just, like, pretending she isn't 1.00
00:04:19.860 here, I'll be like, I know you're hearing me. Can I just talk to her a sec? And if they're
00:04:22.860 still not responsive, then I'll just walk away. You know, I just walk away right away.
00:04:26.700 But it doesn't even register. Yeah, you get to the point. I mean, if I was single as
00:04:29.480 well, it's like, you just don't care. Yeah. And it's almost like, it's almost like funny
00:04:32.760 to you. You're like, look at this. Okay. The chat is saying, tell me you didn't take
00:04:36.160 your picture. I did. I'm not even going to lie. Social pressure. Wow. I did. I was just
00:04:43.920 like, what? Because I was so confused because she just handed me her phone and then she starts
00:04:48.360 like doing these poses. Was it a half-assed one? No, it was a full Instagram. It was in a
00:04:55.580 restaurant. So it was just like, she's in a restaurant. The servers are walking by
00:04:59.940 and she's just like doing these full out, like, poses. And you were taking pictures and
00:05:03.540 she was approving them or not. Yeah. Again. No, no. It was just, because I was kind of
00:05:08.200 confused. Did you ask her why she ignored it before or no? No. That's even worse. I was
00:05:12.480 just kind of taken aback, to be honest. I was just like, is this what men go through?
00:05:16.460 That is what men go through. Yeah. That's what men go through. I feel like I'm a part
00:05:22.600 of this. You had one minute of a lifetime for so many men. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I don't
00:05:27.460 like this. Look at that woman that became a man for a bit. Wasn't it? The story where 0.99
00:05:31.880 she became a man for a bit and committed suicide. She unalived herself, as they say. Yeah.
00:05:36.880 And she was only a man for a short time. Well, I don't think most women, like, I don't think 1.00
00:05:40.200 we really notice the privilege we're given in society just from being young women where we're
00:05:45.200 treated better by people. And the first time this happened to me, I worked in a sales job
00:05:51.040 and I was the only girl in the office. And people would always help me with whatever I
00:05:54.540 wanted. You know what I mean? Yeah. And all the guys around me would be like, oh, it's
00:05:58.000 because you're a girl. It's because you're a girl. And I was like, no, it's because I'm
00:06:00.720 so bubbly and I work hard. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I found out it was, in fact, because
00:06:07.200 I was a girl. Because I feel like, not even in, like, a romantic way, but I think that men
00:06:11.520 just have more of an inclination to, like, help women. Yeah. It's more fun than helping
00:06:16.360 a guy. What? It's more fun than helping a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Even if it's not, like...
00:06:20.520 It also goes the other way, though, because then there's also a sense of not taking women
00:06:24.040 as seriously as well. So it flips, doesn't it? I've never, like, I've never felt that was
00:06:29.620 an issue, to be honest. And I've worked in, like, predominantly male-dominated fields.
00:06:34.660 I think it's an advantage, not a disadvantage. Yeah. But I think you've probably learned how
00:06:38.480 to, you know, you're a powerful woman, so you've learned how to... I'm the same. I
00:06:41.860 will always circumnavigate whatever, you know, limitations based on me. As a black man, for
00:06:47.600 instance, I don't care. Yeah. But some people don't learn that skill, so they actually internalize
00:06:52.000 I'm not enough in some ways, in some ways. No, I think it's an excuse. I think there's
00:06:55.340 zero limitations as a woman. Like, zero. None. Unless it's, like, a strength thing. I agree.
00:06:59.800 I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I feel like the girls that whine about going to corporate and
00:07:04.220 having a hard time, like, I just think it's an excuse. They're just big whiners.
00:07:08.000 I don't think so, Pearl. I have to say, there is. Listen, there's... Women do get treated 1.00
00:07:14.940 by compassion. People help them out. But there's also the view of, like, a woman is weaker
00:07:19.420 than a man. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, physically, a woman is weaker than 1.00
00:07:23.900 a man. But if a woman's trying to get some level of finances or authority, she will definitely 1.00
00:07:31.320 get a backlash of, like, you're a woman, you should... I disagree. I think there's quotas 0.82
00:07:35.260 for women. I think women get put in positions they shouldn't be in all the time. 1.00
00:07:39.200 What do you mean? Like, I feel like women get put in positions they're actually not qualified 0.99
00:07:43.100 for and they're not the best person for the job because of quotas and diversity hires.
00:07:46.780 Yeah, some. Some. 100%. That's for sure. That does happen. That's for sure.
00:07:50.720 But there are times, I think, where women or people of colour do have to prove themselves
00:07:54.360 more in order to be taken seriously. Yes. No, I just think, as for women, in my experience,
00:08:01.120 I don't think there's any disadvantage. And most of the girls I know that complain about 1.00
00:08:04.740 it are just kind of lazy, to be honest. I don't agree with you, Pearl. I get you. But I don't
00:08:08.680 agree with you, given that I'm with my partner. And sometimes I go for what he's going for.
00:08:13.140 I put my hands up. I don't speak as perfect English and I'm not intelligent as much as
00:08:17.800 he is. But there's a lot of positions that he gets picked when I don't.
00:08:21.880 Maybe he's just better. He is. Unfortunately, yes. That's right. But there's sometimes when
00:08:26.820 they give him chances, but give me a chance to just prove that I'm better. Or maybe I'm
00:08:32.480 equal in some. There is a lot of places that I'm quite equal. But I feel like it's like a
00:08:37.720 mindset thing. Like, if I get passed up for a job with a dude, like, I'm not going to
00:08:41.820 think it's because of my gender. I'm going to think it's because I'm not good enough.
00:08:45.000 Yeah, but that's what I mean. There's two different things at play.
00:08:46.920 I was just banned on TikTok. And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform. If you want
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