JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023


She Got Rejected and This Is How She Dealt With It

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Pearl John
The Reason Women are Sh1tty Wives She tried To Slither Her way Through This Topic

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

219.53

Word count

1,982

Sentence count

267

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about rejection and how to deal with it. Have you ever been rejected by a guy? Have you approached a guy and have you been rejected? How do you deal with rejection?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Go for what you want.
00:00:00.740 Yeah, and my advice for guys, because I know that's the question, is don't listen to women. 1.00
00:00:06.900 Most of the time, they don't know.
00:00:08.520 Personally, I don't know what I want from a man.
00:00:10.500 Go and find someone that inspires you, a man that really have that perfect relationship.
00:00:16.300 There's so many coaches out there coaching you about relationship, but they're not in one.
00:00:20.000 Go and find a relationship that inspires you and get his advice.
00:00:22.680 He will be able to open his heart and share his advice with you.
00:00:25.640 So, question for the women. Have you ever approached a guy, and have you ever been rejected? 0.85
00:00:33.440 No.
00:00:34.160 Yes.
00:00:34.660 Yes.
00:00:35.100 Yeah.
00:00:35.640 Oh, cool.
00:00:36.260 Okay, tell me about it.
00:00:37.780 No, I've approached, but not been rejected.
00:00:39.340 Oh, you've never been rejected. Have you approached?
00:00:42.040 Yeah.
00:00:42.520 Have you been rejected?
00:00:43.360 Yeah.
00:00:43.820 What happened?
00:00:45.120 It's just when I open up and say what I want for my future, and what I, like, for example, that I want to be married, and I want to have a family.
00:00:52.920 Wait, you said that immediately?
00:00:55.320 Yeah.
00:00:56.160 Okay, pretend I'm the guy.
00:00:58.800 Well, not at a bar. Not at a bar and say, oh, I want to get married now. 0.99
00:01:01.360 Like on the first date or something like that.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, on the first date.
00:01:03.800 No, so I'm talking about, like, approaching a guy, like, cold approach.
00:01:06.720 Oh, no, no, no.
00:01:07.420 No, never. Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:09.840 I think I have.
00:01:12.620 At a bar, at a club, yeah.
00:01:14.040 And they're always into it?
00:01:15.180 Yeah.
00:01:15.500 Okay, what about you? Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:17.560 No.
00:01:18.100 No?
00:01:18.680 No.
00:01:19.040 Have you ever cold approached?
00:01:19.860 Hell no.
00:01:23.080 I don't think so.
00:01:24.380 No.
00:01:25.040 That's interesting, right?
00:01:25.900 I would know. I don't know. I don't think so. No.
00:01:29.060 I have.
00:01:30.200 Yeah, okay.
00:01:30.760 No, but I'm not cold with a husband.
00:01:32.340 You knew me.
00:01:32.780 No, never.
00:01:33.680 Yeah.
00:01:33.940 You've never cold a friend.
00:01:35.600 And what about you? Have you ever approached a guy?
00:01:37.520 Yeah.
00:01:37.720 Were you ever rejected?
00:01:38.820 Yes.
00:01:39.660 Really?
00:01:40.300 Yeah.
00:01:40.740 What do you say?
00:01:42.820 Oh, I remember, like, once I was, like, in the grocery, there was this really hot guy.
00:01:49.240 Like, it was, like, John. Like, exactly.
00:01:51.860 No, it was, like, my type, like this. And then I was, like, oh, my God. But I was, like,
00:01:56.840 you know, it was, like, civil engineer working on site construction. So, like, almost, like,
00:02:03.460 the majority of my time, I wasn't, like, dressed up. I wasn't, like, cute. It was, like,
00:02:07.960 with boots, like, jeans, like, you know? And then, like, I came up to him and he said,
00:02:13.000 oh, I'm sorry, I'm married. And I said, okay. Oh, but he's married. That's good.
00:02:18.820 Yeah, but it happens. And I think, like, when I was younger, too, like, I don't know. I think
00:02:24.700 getting rejected is, like, part of life. Yeah. And it is.
00:02:29.700 I'm curious from the guys. Is there a rejection that was, like, your worst rejection that you
00:02:34.200 can think of?
00:02:34.980 Well, I've called the push, like, probably tens of thousands of times. But, you know, every
00:02:38.960 now and then, there'll be a girl that just tells you to fuck off or, like, tries to insult 1.00
00:02:42.200 you personally or something like that. And that can hurt sometimes, right? You get over 1.00
00:02:45.860 that. Like, you just learn that it's going to happen sometimes. But especially for, like,
00:02:50.540 clients that aren't used to approaching, if they hear something that early on where the
00:02:54.340 person says, like, oh, no, I don't like you because of this and this, that sticks in their
00:02:57.840 head. And they think every girl thinks that. And it can be, like, debilitating. And that can
00:03:01.880 take them out of the game.
00:03:03.500 I think, for me, the worst approach, rejections I can remember is when they don't say anything.
00:03:09.360 They pretend they don't hear you.
00:03:10.300 No, they look at you, like, how dare you even think you have what it takes to come up
00:03:15.700 to me. And they don't say it. It's just everything in the eyes is saying that. And you feel like
00:03:20.660 shit. 1.00
00:03:20.920 Some girls, they don't hear you, too. Like, they just stand there. 1.00
00:03:23.660 But it'd be nice if they're pretending they don't hear you.
00:03:25.960 But the ones that heard you and they look at you like, they almost insult you that you
00:03:31.200 come up to them.
00:03:31.900 That happened to me, like, two days ago with a girl, okay? I just was complimenting her outfit.
00:03:37.260 I was like, oh my gosh, that's so cute. She just looked at me.
00:03:40.300 And I know she heard me. And then she just, like, kept, like, because I was sitting at,
00:03:46.160 like, a table bar. You know what I mean? And she just kept, she just, like, looked the other
00:03:50.140 way. Okay, then, then I go to this other place, right? And she's there. And then she starts
00:03:56.400 talking to me. And she's like, can you take my Instagram picture? I'm like, bitch. 0.99
00:03:59.600 I'm like, bitch. I just said hello before. 1.00
00:04:05.680 So I feel you. That was hard. But that was when I was young. Now I'm like, I'm sad.
00:04:10.300 It becomes almost, like, funny, though. Like, in the beginning, like, if a girl would ignore 0.87
00:04:13.620 her, I'd be like, oh my God. Like, I'm horrible. But now, like, if I go out to a bar and I'm
00:04:17.040 like, yeah, I want to meet you real quick. And the girl's just, like, pretending she isn't 1.00
00:04:19.860 here, I'll be like, I know you're hearing me. Can I just talk to her a sec? And if they're
00:04:22.860 still not responsive, then I'll just walk away. You know, I just walk away right away.
00:04:26.700 But it doesn't even register. Yeah, you get to the point. I mean, if I was single as
00:04:29.480 well, it's like, you just don't care. Yeah. And it's almost like, it's almost like funny
00:04:32.760 to you. You're like, look at this. Okay. The chat is saying, tell me you didn't take
00:04:36.160 your picture. I did. I'm not even going to lie. Social pressure. Wow. I did. I was just
00:04:43.920 like, what? Because I was so confused because she just handed me her phone and then she starts
00:04:48.360 like doing these poses. Was it a half-assed one? No, it was a full Instagram. It was in a
00:04:55.580 restaurant. So it was just like, she's in a restaurant. The servers are walking by
00:04:59.940 and she's just like doing these full out, like, poses. And you were taking pictures and
00:05:03.540 she was approving them or not. Yeah. Again. No, no. It was just, because I was kind of
00:05:08.200 confused. Did you ask her why she ignored it before or no? No. That's even worse. I was
00:05:12.480 just kind of taken aback, to be honest. I was just like, is this what men go through?
00:05:16.460 That is what men go through. Yeah. That's what men go through. I feel like I'm a part
00:05:22.600 of this. You had one minute of a lifetime for so many men. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I don't
00:05:27.460 like this. Look at that woman that became a man for a bit. Wasn't it? The story where 0.99
00:05:31.880 she became a man for a bit and committed suicide. She unalived herself, as they say. Yeah.
00:05:36.880 And she was only a man for a short time. Well, I don't think most women, like, I don't think 1.00
00:05:40.200 we really notice the privilege we're given in society just from being young women where we're
00:05:45.200 treated better by people. And the first time this happened to me, I worked in a sales job
00:05:51.040 and I was the only girl in the office. And people would always help me with whatever I
00:05:54.540 wanted. You know what I mean? Yeah. And all the guys around me would be like, oh, it's
00:05:58.000 because you're a girl. It's because you're a girl. And I was like, no, it's because I'm
00:06:00.720 so bubbly and I work hard. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I found out it was, in fact, because
00:06:07.200 I was a girl. Because I feel like, not even in, like, a romantic way, but I think that men
00:06:11.520 just have more of an inclination to, like, help women. Yeah. It's more fun than helping
00:06:16.360 a guy. What? It's more fun than helping a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Even if it's not, like...
00:06:20.520 It also goes the other way, though, because then there's also a sense of not taking women
00:06:24.040 as seriously as well. So it flips, doesn't it? I've never, like, I've never felt that was
00:06:29.620 an issue, to be honest. And I've worked in, like, predominantly male-dominated fields.
00:06:34.660 I think it's an advantage, not a disadvantage. Yeah. But I think you've probably learned how
00:06:38.480 to, you know, you're a powerful woman, so you've learned how to... I'm the same. I
00:06:41.860 will always circumnavigate whatever, you know, limitations based on me. As a black man, for
00:06:47.600 instance, I don't care. Yeah. But some people don't learn that skill, so they actually internalize 0.81
00:06:52.000 I'm not enough in some ways, in some ways. No, I think it's an excuse. I think there's
00:06:55.340 zero limitations as a woman. Like, zero. None. Unless it's, like, a strength thing. I agree.
00:06:59.800 I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I feel like the girls that whine about going to corporate and
00:07:04.220 having a hard time, like, I just think it's an excuse. They're just big whiners. 0.97
00:07:08.000 I don't think so, Pearl. I have to say, there is. Listen, there's... Women do get treated 1.00
00:07:14.940 by compassion. People help them out. But there's also the view of, like, a woman is weaker
00:07:19.420 than a man. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, physically, a woman is weaker than 1.00
00:07:23.900 a man. But if a woman's trying to get some level of finances or authority, she will definitely 1.00
00:07:31.320 get a backlash of, like, you're a woman, you should... I disagree. I think there's quotas 0.82
00:07:35.260 for women. I think women get put in positions they shouldn't be in all the time. 1.00
00:07:39.200 What do you mean? Like, I feel like women get put in positions they're actually not qualified 0.99
00:07:43.100 for and they're not the best person for the job because of quotas and diversity hires.
00:07:46.780 Yeah, some. Some. 100%. That's for sure. That does happen. That's for sure.
00:07:50.720 But there are times, I think, where women or people of colour do have to prove themselves
00:07:54.360 more in order to be taken seriously. Yes. No, I just think, as for women, in my experience,
00:08:01.120 I don't think there's any disadvantage. And most of the girls I know that complain about 1.00
00:08:04.740 it are just kind of lazy, to be honest. I don't agree with you, Pearl. I get you. But I don't
00:08:08.680 agree with you, given that I'm with my partner. And sometimes I go for what he's going for.
00:08:13.140 I put my hands up. I don't speak as perfect English and I'm not intelligent as much as
00:08:17.800 he is. But there's a lot of positions that he gets picked when I don't.
00:08:21.880 Maybe he's just better. He is. Unfortunately, yes. That's right. But there's sometimes when
00:08:26.820 they give him chances, but give me a chance to just prove that I'm better. Or maybe I'm
00:08:32.480 equal in some. There is a lot of places that I'm quite equal. But I feel like it's like a
00:08:37.720 mindset thing. Like, if I get passed up for a job with a dude, like, I'm not going to
00:08:41.820 think it's because of my gender. I'm going to think it's because I'm not good enough.
00:08:45.000 Yeah, but that's what I mean. There's two different things at play.
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