JustPearlyThings - June 03, 2023


She Has UNREALISTIC Relationship Goals


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

217.28514

Word count

1,661

Sentence count

114

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the age difference between an 18 year old and a 32 year old when it comes to a potential partner. Why is it important to date someone younger than you? Is it because you are more likely to be a virgin? Or is it because they are older? We also talk about the benefits and drawbacks of dating someone older than you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I think it's really down to the different stages of emotional maturity and growth.
00:00:05.460 When you're 18, although yes, you can be mature and this and that, but you've not experienced
00:00:10.100 the how many extra, 14 years extra of life that he has experienced, he has that over
00:00:15.040 you.
00:00:16.040 And I think that it's not about manipulation, it's just about the point to the fact that
00:00:19.620 there'll be a certain moment in both of their lives where you're just going to realize we're
00:00:24.140 not on the same level, we're not in the same frequency.
00:00:27.620 And that's really important.
00:00:28.620 What do you mean in the same?
00:00:29.620 Because a lot of times we use these words, I don't even know what they mean, in the same
00:00:32.540 frequency?
00:00:33.540 Yeah.
00:00:34.540 The same frequency meaning like, okay, when you're now 40, I'm just about to turn 30.
00:00:40.340 Every five years, I feel like every five years I go through quite a lot of change.
00:00:44.080 You know, you, especially then with decades, you look back on your life and you think about
00:00:47.180 so many things you reflect and your mind may change.
00:00:49.440 That's why you can see the difference between a 20 year old woman and a 30 year old woman. 1.00
00:00:53.440 So I just think it's a bit dangerous when you're kind of dealing with somebody that's so far
00:00:57.240 away from where you're at at your age.
00:00:59.240 So for example, for me, that's why I say I'll date somebody that is younger than me by two
00:01:02.620 years max and max five years older, because I don't want it to be too far away.
00:01:07.240 Do you think that limits your pool a little bit?
00:01:11.240 I think that at this point, I'm more just looking for the right person.
00:01:15.500 And from what I know about myself, I feel like what I need is that limit.
00:01:20.240 Okay.
00:01:21.240 What do you think?
00:01:23.240 Um, yeah, I think an 18 year old, obviously there's different kinds of 18 year olds, but
00:01:29.240 they've got a lot of experiences to go through.
00:01:32.240 I think a 32 is a bit old.
00:01:34.240 I think like 28, 29 is fine, but why would a, and maybe you guys can answer that you men,
00:01:42.240 why would a 32 year old want an 18 year old?
00:01:45.240 Is it just because she's more likely to be a virgin?
00:01:49.240 And is that the main reason why you would go for one?
00:01:53.240 Cause I wouldn't like be like, uh, but I'd be a bit confused.
00:01:58.240 Like, why wouldn't you go for someone who's maybe like mid twenties or like even 21?
00:02:03.240 Like what's the reason?
00:02:04.240 I don't know.
00:02:05.240 Yeah.
00:02:06.240 I think it's wild to be honest.
00:02:07.240 I wouldn't like legit.
00:02:08.240 So I can't, can I, can I just make a side note on this?
00:02:10.240 Um, not that I agree with the 32 and the 18 year old, but I, I feel like it comes down
00:02:17.240 to the individual.
00:02:18.240 Yeah.
00:02:19.240 I've come across 40 year olds, 50 year olds that are in many cases less mature than 18 year olds.
00:02:25.240 So, and I think it goes both way, irrespective of your gender.
00:02:29.240 Um, but what was your question?
00:02:32.240 Just in terms of.
00:02:33.240 I just wanted to know what the, what would be the reason for that?
00:02:35.240 Would it just be because she's likely to have less bodies? 0.73
00:02:38.240 Is that the main reason?
00:02:40.240 If I could jump on that.
00:02:42.240 Cool.
00:02:43.240 Um, cause like initially what I do think of it, 30 to an 18 year, that is a pretty big
00:02:47.240 like gap.
00:02:48.240 And I would like look at it a type of way, but I feel like if we come to a common agreement
00:02:54.240 on what a guy is usually looking for or what a girl is usually looking for, they kind of
00:02:59.240 meet each other where they need.
00:03:00.240 You know what I mean?
00:03:01.240 Cause I'm, I'm, I'm hope you guys can agree well, but, um, you know, men very, I value
00:03:07.240 beauty and I value youth fertility.
00:03:10.240 So if I'm at the age of 32, sure, I could go with someone 25, 26, but I think like nowadays,
00:03:19.240 most of those women already, they're very like career driven. 1.00
00:03:23.240 They're very, they have like this boss babe mentality. 0.92
00:03:26.240 So I feel like they're going to be way more combative than the 18 year old.
00:03:31.240 Cause I feel like if she comes into this, um, space, she's going to value that I reached
00:03:39.240 this point.
00:03:40.240 And then she's going to be more agree agreeable with me.
00:03:43.240 Cause then I, I can also like teach her.
00:03:46.240 I won't, okay.
00:03:47.240 I won't say teacher, but you can guide her.
00:03:49.240 Someone that's older is more set in their ways.
00:03:51.240 Exactly.
00:03:52.240 Yeah.
00:03:53.240 100%.
00:03:54.240 So I just feel like this 18 year old, maybe she has, she's, she's as mature as I
00:03:56.240 mean, I would say it's the same thing.
00:03:57.240 Like if you date an older guy and you try to change him, you're mad.
00:04:01.240 Like why would you, if you, if I dated a 50 year old, am I expecting him to change after
00:04:06.240 50 years of living his life one way?
00:04:08.240 Exactly.
00:04:09.240 That's all they know.
00:04:10.240 So it's like at the younger you go, because obviously most of the time, 18 year old is
00:04:15.240 going to look better than 26, 28 year old.
00:04:18.240 So it's like, if I value that, then, and I see that they can agree to me what I want to
00:04:24.240 do a long term.
00:04:25.240 It's like, why, why not choose that instead of.
00:04:27.240 Okay.
00:04:28.240 So I have a question.
00:04:29.240 So we're talking about changing people.
00:04:31.240 So in this scenario, in the scenarios I usually posed, we're talking about the fact that there's
00:04:37.240 a need to change a woman because obviously he's older, he's going to be setting his way. 0.97
00:04:42.240 So the man is cool.
00:04:43.240 We always just have to assume that the man that is 30 is mature and doing his ting all the time.
00:04:47.240 And he can take care of a 18 year old woman and mold her to be what he wants. 0.91
00:04:51.240 When in fact he probably doesn't even know what he wants exactly.
00:04:54.240 So I think it's really quite dangerous to play that game.
00:04:56.240 And if we were to twist, to turn the, the, the story and make it.
00:05:00.240 You don't think it's good to influence the person you're with?
00:05:02.240 Like you don't want a guy that you can follow.
00:05:04.240 Yeah.
00:05:05.240 But I also want a guy that can also follow me too, because I'm not just going to be adapting
00:05:09.240 to someone on my own.
00:05:10.240 So you want to follow and then he follows.
00:05:13.240 Yeah.
00:05:14.240 I want us to grow together.
00:05:15.240 Yeah.
00:05:16.240 I want it to be like this, but I think it's a dangerous game playing with the idea.
00:05:18.240 We want to change people.
00:05:19.240 Like you're dating someone because you like them.
00:05:21.240 You're not dating them because you see potential and you want to manipulate them into the person you want.
00:05:25.240 I think relationships compromise.
00:05:27.240 Yeah.
00:05:28.240 Yeah.
00:05:29.240 I just think if you're the person, um, I looked up political ideologies, this is seems off topic,
00:05:34.240 but I have a point.
00:05:35.240 Um, when I was younger, cause I was curious, like what makes people change their minds and like what
00:05:39.240 things influence them.
00:05:40.240 And the number one thing that influences your political ideology over time is your partner.
00:05:45.240 Like you kind of rub off on the person you're with.
00:05:47.240 Yeah.
00:05:48.240 And I agree.
00:05:49.240 The longer you're with someone, the more you become like them and you agree because you want
00:05:51.240 to be familiar.
00:05:52.240 You want to be the same to them.
00:05:53.240 It's not necessarily a good thing, but to answer my girl's question, that would be the
00:05:58.240 reason why a guy would, that's 32 is going to go for 18 year old.
00:06:01.240 So he can mold her into the girl that he wants. 0.95
00:06:03.240 More submissive, agreeable.
00:06:04.240 Exactly.
00:06:05.240 Yeah.
00:06:06.240 Don't you think that people should like, as they're like so young, they're 18, like,
00:06:10.240 don't you think they should find their own way in life?
00:06:12.240 Like, yeah.
00:06:13.240 Like dating a 32 year old might be helpful for them.
00:06:15.240 And like working out these life, like problems and stuff and like fight, like they can guide
00:06:19.240 them in their way.
00:06:20.240 But like, I think trying to change someone that's so young, it's just like backwards. 0.98
00:06:23.240 Like they need to find their own way in life.
00:06:24.240 They need to find who they are.
00:06:26.240 And I don't think they should depend on somebody else to find that way in life.
00:06:29.240 I don't think they should like, like, I don't know.
00:06:31.240 It's just like, they're so young and impressionable.
00:06:33.240 Like a year ago, they were 17, like, and you wouldn't date a 17 year old.
00:06:36.240 So I don't know.
00:06:37.240 I just think back to when I was 18 and I don't think I was that crazy different than the way
00:06:41.240 I am now.
00:06:42.240 I don't know.
00:06:43.240 I just think like in general, I mean, 18 is a bit young for like, I don't know if I
00:06:50.240 would push like 18 year olds to get married, but I don't know.
00:06:55.240 I don't know.
00:06:56.240 I just think like as women, you kind of avoid a lot of like heartbreak and trauma if you
00:07:00.240 get married earlier.
00:07:01.240 I have a friend that got married at like 21, 22.
00:07:04.240 She's probably the happiest like person I know.
00:07:06.240 How old is she now? 0.92
00:07:08.240 27, 28.
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