JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


She Is Just ATTRACTED To TOO Much TOXIC Men


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

209.78172

Word count

2,422

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the recent case of a young man who has been charged with domestic violence against his ex-partner and the allegations that he was involved in a violent relationship with his ex. We also discuss the reasons why he left the relationship and whether or not he should be prosecuted.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 how many relationships have you guys ended and why I've only been in one so
00:00:07.740 and it's not ended so zero three three three and why'd you end them um they
00:00:14.440 just wasn't good towards me all violent all violent you dated three violent men
00:00:19.920 yeah stupid please first time it's okay like you wonder like yeah okay yeah it 0.88
00:00:26.760 happens to anyone second time I should have seen the red flags but I didn't
00:00:31.080 and now the third time I just feel like I need to write mug on my forehead yeah do
00:00:35.340 you know men that aren't violent no I do I know a lot of men which are my friends
00:00:39.360 it just makes no sense I just go for the ones that they show they're nice at
00:00:42.960 first and then it's like once they grab hold of me they don't want me to go so
00:00:48.840 they will do anything in any type of force I and you saw no red flags in the
00:00:53.520 beginning a couple two of them yes one of them no I just like wonder because if
00:01:01.260 I was a guy listening to this I feel like why would I be nice to you because you
00:01:04.920 don't like like you know the nice guys but you don't pick up me just keep oh if
00:01:08.420 anything like it would incentivize them to be abusive see that's the thing I
00:01:12.720 think like normally like I would feel like a guy would come to me thinking oh
00:01:19.440 she's been in three relationships that have just been violent but I've actually
00:01:23.400 had nothing but good guys to come towards me since I just I've been taking my
00:01:27.960 time whether I want to be in a relationship with someone or not because I really
00:01:32.200 don't want to go to a fourth time and that's it I will be getting mug tattooed on my forehead
00:01:36.180 what about you you're only 19 yeah have I ended I have ended one and I think I ended it just
00:01:49.980 because I think I just wasn't I wasn't ready for the commitment yeah fickle I think I just wasn't
00:01:59.640 ready I think it was kind of like I was just like yeah and it kind of just shut me off completely
00:02:05.580 like other after that it was kind of like I don't know why I did it nothing it's just completely
00:02:10.220 cut off and it was like I didn't feel the same way anymore and that was literally the end of it
00:02:15.800 there's no more to that than it than I'm saying but yeah I think we you said you had two
00:02:22.320 relationships and you ended one no no I didn't know they ended both I'm more of a stay in a
00:02:29.820 relationship make it work kind of person and jump off and give up but having said that the first
00:02:36.660 person wasn't a great person so once he left and he had made that choice it was taken away from me
00:02:45.640 so then I could then go and be happy so I was actually grateful that he ended it and that's why
00:02:50.960 I didn't let him come back I actually understand that thinking because when it's like if they break
00:02:55.780 up with you you don't really have a choice in it so you don't have to like guess if it was the right
00:02:59.140 choice because it wasn't your choice I feel like it's easier to detach when someone else breaks up
00:03:02.940 with you than it is for you to break up with them do you think women ever try to get guys to break up 0.55
00:03:08.260 with them yeah 100% yeah all the time everything like that happens all the time I feel like if you're
00:03:14.500 in a relationship where you just feel like it's kind of like he's sometimes maybe a bit more committed
00:03:19.280 but maybe not in the way that you want it to be you're probably going to do everything in your power
00:03:22.880 for him to be like yeah I'm not trying like you're doing madness whereas that's not actually you but
00:03:28.940 it's kind of like you're provoking that because it's just like you don't it's kind of like you see
00:03:34.340 it but then at the same time you don't and it's like it's easier like I can't call it off because
00:03:39.020 he has valid points so therefore I'm going to provoke whatever situation it is to make him break up with
00:03:43.620 me so that I can just be like cool you broke up with me now leave it as it is and just let the case rest
00:03:49.060 yeah I just want to jump off something that you said a moment ago where a lot of times say if you
00:03:53.780 get broken up with it's easier for you to move on um I kind of think with women it's the opposite 1.00
00:03:58.800 because when we break up with someone we break up with them with them in our head and then you know
00:04:04.420 six weeks later then we break up with them so I thought perhaps it'd be a little easier if we leave
00:04:09.920 someone because often we've planned it you know for a lot of women there's a guy already waiting 1.00
00:04:15.040 um whereas if you get broken up with especially if you think things are going fine it's this you
00:04:20.920 know complete change of circumstances sprung up on you so I thought perhaps that'd make it a little
00:04:25.120 worse actually yeah you're probably right actually now that I'm thinking about it because if things
00:04:31.800 were going well like that probably would devastate me yeah but it's like yeah yeah but it's kind of
00:04:38.300 like if you're fighting already you know if you're fighting already you've probably mentally checked out
00:04:42.960 as well you just wait for one or the other person to do it I actually do agree with you yeah like
00:04:46.880 that's never happened when it was like don't like it's you know do you think like women detach quicker 1.00
00:04:52.900 than men depends on a woman I feel like okay I feel like women detach quicker than men most of the time 0.99
00:05:03.480 like if she has 10 relationships like eight or nine of them but there's like one guy that like she cannot
00:05:09.660 detach from okay like to like and I use it because you can see it in pop culture like a lot of a lot
00:05:15.880 of the movies that like women love like Titanic the notebook what is it what is it about about that guy
00:05:21.840 it's like the lady in the Titanic is like 90 talking about her high school fling yeah and she's still
00:05:26.760 talking about that and same with the notebook it's her going back to that guy from high school
00:05:30.080 yeah so I feel like unless it's like that guy like women typically get over it easier than men 1.00
00:05:38.400 but if you're like that guy to her then she doesn't I feel like the reason why I say women get over men 1.00
00:05:46.100 quickly is because I think we're more of an emotional we're going through more of an emotional
00:05:50.940 time than men are um I feel like you're in certain situations where if something happens it's kind of
00:05:57.460 like you feel it way more than you would feel than your significant other would feel and then
00:06:02.360 yeah fair enough no I feel so I'm talking more from my experience is what I'm trying to say I feel
00:06:09.460 like this I'm a very emotional person if something happens I'm my emotions is in it 100% and it's kind
00:06:16.600 of like if something keeps happening I'll kind of I'll kind of get used to it and I'll kind of be like
00:06:21.040 cool whatever so if so if you're involved in a relationship where like things will keep constantly
00:06:26.740 happening they'll get to a point you like you actually get to a point where you're kind of
00:06:30.640 like yeah like he could do something and I'll just completely like I won't react the same way anymore
00:06:34.740 and it kind of just you just like the relationship will end and you can just like cool whatever
00:06:39.520 because you already felt what you need to felt during the relationship so why do you now go
00:06:43.320 through heartbreak after I think women just underestimate men's emotions yeah I think women are just out 1.00
00:06:49.280 there crying and blubbering and whatever and the men just take it because if they had to turn around
00:06:53.840 and cry and blubber I mean if you had a man and there must be women that swear with men and they 0.98
00:06:58.640 just start crying what do you think about them lose total respect for them yeah that's why they
00:07:03.060 don't do it they just deal with it but women go out there and blubber all her friends will come 1.00
00:07:06.920 around oh he's done this oh he's done that man just try that if a man does that so you're telling me
00:07:12.140 women lose respect for men that would cry to you oh my god yeah of course swear you want 1.00
00:07:17.840 okay you want a guy leading you imagine the CEO of a company just crying in front of his employees
00:07:24.560 it's the same thing with the relationship you're not going to respect a guy's leadership the same
00:07:29.060 way if he's crying all the time can I ask because a man ever cried in front of you um I've had people
00:07:35.340 be emotional towards me and it hasn't made me lose respect for you because I feel like if we're both
00:07:40.260 like establish that type of relationship you can cry to me I'll look at you like cool let me put it this
00:07:45.360 way right you you'd with a man and you tell him you don't want to be with him anymore and he starts
00:07:49.600 crying and blubbering what would you do how would you feel that's kind of different that's what we
00:07:53.740 mean that's what we're talking about even my pride wouldn't let me cry for someone if they broke up with
00:07:57.600 me but I thought you said that you that women cry and get emotional when they get when they
00:08:01.680 split up with a man pardon I thought you said that women cry and they get emotional when they split 0.91
00:08:06.980 up with a man I mean they do right so I'm saying turn it on its head what if it was a man
00:08:13.740 that's probably a woman and he's the one that's blubbering I mean cool like if you're crying then 0.94
00:08:19.760 you care didn't it like I don't I don't know what you actually want me to do how would you feel
00:08:23.660 towards him do you think it'd make you want to get back with him and any like would you be more
00:08:27.500 attracted to him or less attracted to him it depends on who it is yeah if you yeah it depends
00:08:32.880 on who it is if you look ugly crying though sorry but yeah it actually depends who it is
00:08:39.740 like 100 but I think that girls usually and I can say this from having not from my own experience but
00:08:46.940 from friends who go through this uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um
00:08:52.840 that she had an argument with her boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would
00:09:00.420 like kind of chase after him facetime or him caller and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id calls
00:09:07.580 um and she said to me well like I don't really want him to be doing that like I want to go after him
00:09:12.160 and I thought that was quite strange because you know you'd think that you'd want someone to come
00:09:16.020 after you and you know chase after but typically you know women attracted unfortunately to toxicity
00:09:20.980 so yeah but is it not toxic to be harassing someone like that
00:09:26.120 no no no of course that's of course that's toxic um but I'm saying in terms of in terms of the
00:09:33.200 relationship um a lot of time how do I explain it um it's toxic to be harassing someone um but it's
00:09:41.240 also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is what she would see that
00:09:46.680 relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to than someone that's trying
00:09:51.920 to get her back yeah that's what that's what I meant I'm gonna cut and go you lie to me I'm gone
00:09:57.080 you cheat I'm gone so auntie you wanna take back someone that's cheating I ain't like going back
00:10:02.980 there even if there's no no no no why no why should I and then you're gonna cheat again they're gonna
00:10:10.240 cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like I'm the best woman that any man that has ever
00:10:15.600 been able to get right you cheat on me there's no going back I'm moving on but cool what if he told
00:10:20.760 you or like cool I saw us together but I had to go confide in other woman to make me realize that 1.00
00:10:27.040 you're the one I'm looking for well keep on going then keep on thinking
00:10:30.560 no if you lied to me from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning
00:10:35.780 and if I have a man you know don't lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over
00:10:42.500 I don't care why it's over finishing no conversation is done because women will say oh you know if he
00:10:50.860 cheats on me you know and then what he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it
00:10:55.240 again if I told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're
00:11:00.180 even stupid to believe him if he says he's never gonna do it again but what if he doesn't do it
00:11:04.520 men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no I've seen it happen too many
00:11:10.260 times girl goes back cheat some more I would rather just not look like a clown what would you say most 0.86
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