JustPearlyThings - She Proved That Women Love Bad Boys

00:00:00.000 knows who Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee yeah honey yeah you know I don't follow

00:00:04.560 social okay you know Pamela Anderson's huge okay so Pamela Anderson is an 0.96

00:00:11.100 actress Tommy Lee is a rock star for those of you that don't know and they I

00:00:17.100 was researching them for this show and they've had just like an on-again off

00:00:21.880 again relationship since let me see it says 1994 so they got married after four

00:00:30.640 days of knowing each other yeah after they got married in Cancun Mexico and

00:00:38.880 literally they were just on again off again they also had a sex tape that was

00:00:42.940 released during when they were together they had two sons and he also

00:00:51.700 was arrested for abuse and she still actually got he went to jail for it and

00:00:58.960 she actually still got back with him after and then again on again off again

00:01:03.580 on again off again until now they're not together they've separated and he's

00:01:07.420 married to someone else and she's single now the reason that I bring this up is

00:01:11.620 because recently she has been doing a documentary and in the documentary she

00:01:17.560 said that she texted at 55 she hasn't been with him for five years she texted

00:01:23.920 Tommy Lee that he is her one true love while he's married to someone else so my

00:01:33.560 question for the panel was have you ever had an ex that was incredibly hard to get

00:01:39.520 over and what made him so hard to get over that one for me I would say it was

00:01:51.280 really like my first kind of love so I was at a young age I think I was like 18

00:01:55.420 at the time when I got with him so I feel like when you're at that age

00:01:58.540 especially us women being so emotional I just felt really attached to him and even

00:02:04.600 though I'd see him doing a lot I feel like I always want to run back to him

00:02:07.960 everything I was doing he just knew the right word to kind of say and I feel

00:02:11.240 like I was just I was too good at getting sucked in how long were you on

00:02:14.520 again off again with him so from 18 to when from 18 until I was turning 20 so

00:02:21.460 like nearly three years no I'm sorry nearly two years okay but that one was

00:02:25.240 very serious we kept going back we initially started talking in like 2019 and

00:02:31.340 then by the end of 2021 that's when we called it quits but during that stay

00:02:36.760 during that um that time period we got together about three times and broke up

00:02:41.000 three times so yeah and would you say he was a nice guy or a bad boy

00:02:45.280 looking back now definitely a bad guy a bad boy bad guy bad guy yeah what makes you say

00:02:52.880 that just like obviously the age I am now and the maturity I have looking back

00:02:57.860 there's a lot of things that he used to do that he'll be very good with his words I

00:03:01.740 know now when certain guys say stuff they don't mean it but back then it's very

00:03:06.480 easy to get sucked in like I said before and he just used to always know the right

00:03:10.260 words to say which can be a good trait sometimes but in relationships especially

00:03:13.640 as a guy and what made it so hard to leave just because he knew the right

00:03:19.080 things to say he was selling you a dream pretty much and you know it's that puppy

00:03:23.920 love it was puppy love for me because obviously that was like my first real proper

00:03:27.600 like relationship like we moved in together and everything so it was very

00:03:31.300 serious and obviously at that age as well I'm thinking like this is some

00:03:35.860 fairy tale going on but realizing now and looking back at it now I wouldn't have

00:03:41.080 done so many things that I did do and listen to him the way that I did if that

00:03:45.340 makes sense okay um you want to go next yeah um I feel like my the love that I had um is

00:03:53.180 kind of different to yours in the sense that mine wasn't a bad guy um we both

00:03:58.500 really cared about each other and it was was kind of on and off for some time but

00:04:03.140 he went jail and for like three years he went to jail yeah but three years but he

00:04:10.540 wasn't a bad guy okay okay so the reason why we always want to see the good in the

00:04:15.720 drug

00:04:15.860 I feel like I feel like a lot of times certain situations it's a cop-out answer

00:04:23.820 sometimes to say oh you're not situation things like that but genuinely for this

00:04:27.640 guy like the way that um he was brought up from very very young was was not good

00:04:33.460 and it kind of like that was the path that was predestined for him but then he's

00:04:36.860 kind of like got out of it now and I'm like we're good and everything but for

00:04:41.480 me it was very difficult to get over him when he came out of jail um we wanted to

00:04:47.740 get back together but I was like you know what you have to change yourself

00:04:50.240 everything like this fast and he took a year to do it and by that time um I was

00:04:55.380 like we're not gonna get back together but I was still very much in love of him

00:04:58.380 but I had to just realize that the amount that I loved him and the amount that I

00:05:02.340 love myself I'm very solid on what I want and what I do not want from a man

00:05:06.840 and um he had a child as well and in that time the year that he took to change I

00:05:10.760 realized that I do not want to be with someone who has already has a child

00:05:13.340 because I'm selfish I want to be first for a little bit of the relationship at least

00:05:16.060 but um did he change in that year yeah he did the total 160 so he was he was a bit

00:05:23.120 like more of a bad guy before and then he like changed into more of a nice guy

00:05:27.040 he was I mean he was in jail we can't he was I think he was always a nice guy he's

00:05:31.300 very good got a beautiful heart but I just feel like he saw that there was

00:05:34.940 another way to live life rather than the one that he had been stuck in for that

00:05:38.860 time um it just was a thing where I realized that as much as I love him and

00:05:44.080 as much as he loves me and all these kind of things like there's a greater kind of

00:05:48.120 love like I feel like when you love people and when people love you it's a

00:05:50.820 very selfish kind of thing because it's like I love you I want I want you to be

00:05:54.980 with me and we're gonna make it work and what I want but I was just like you know

00:05:58.720 what for the best for what I want and what you want you can't just keep on going

00:06:02.540 down this path what what made him different than other guys that made it

00:06:06.780 hard for him for you to get over him everyone says that they want honesty I

00:06:11.140 had this all the time we're talking about it earlier but he was genuinely very

00:06:14.080 honest if he did something bad he did something good like I had a lot of issues

00:06:18.920 of trust and even if he did something bad he was honest and it kind of made me

00:06:23.740 accept that you know what even if I might feel like people are down a wrong road and

00:06:29.040 I have a stereotype of road men that they're that they're dishonest and that

00:06:32.500 they like to use words because men know that women want to hear certain things

00:06:36.280 right and I feel like men use that to manipulate women and he showed me that

00:06:40.680 you know what someone can go be in that lifestyle want better for themselves and

00:06:44.760 not manipulate you was they could just tell you the truth and if you don't

00:06:47.860 accept it you don't accept it and then you have to do a sort out what you're

00:06:50.800 gonna do from there on so you like that he told you what it was exactly yes okay and

00:06:54.540 that's what made him different you feel like other guys told you what you

00:06:56.960 wanted to hear where he told you the truth and yes and also another thing

00:07:00.180 which I think a lot of men nowadays really struggle with is being assertive

00:07:03.980 in a respectful way like he would not allow me like I can be a bit um I think

00:07:09.460 everyone can be a bit um push the buttons a bit sometimes you know push the

00:07:12.340 boundaries and stuff but he always let me know this is not how it's gonna be do

00:07:15.780 not continue this behavior and I respected that because he knew the right way

00:07:19.360 to do it and a lot of men do not know how to do that nowadays they get angry or

00:07:23.060 they don't know how to express themselves or they um blame you and yeah this is

00:07:27.420 just another one okay and what about you right okay so when I um was going out with

00:07:35.380 my ex I was very young compared to him so I old were you how old was he okay you're

00:07:43.060 going to be underage I just steal it yeah I was 14 and he was 19 sorry shock horror everyone

00:07:53.100 yeah but he actually did ask permission from my mom and dad because he was like I really

00:07:58.660 like your daughter and he was he wasn't like a creep he wasn't giving creep okay he was giving

00:08:06.500 like gentleman actually and he was very kind and sweet but it was also long distance as well

00:08:15.680 so he was living in Holland and I was living here but he would get like um I think it was like a 12

00:08:23.800 hour coach every two weeks to come and see me and he was working like two jobs as well at like 19 years

00:08:30.760 of age um but I think from that because I was so young he was my first everything as well like first

00:08:38.980 well you know what I mean like first everything and so I think that's what kept the attachment

00:08:44.980 for so long but how long were you with him three years three years yeah but I think because I was so

00:08:54.680 young I think I was just so excited that like an older boy had liked me really and when I look

00:09:03.020 back on it now at 21 years of age I'm thinking I don't think that's too right if one of my friends

00:09:12.140 would come to me and say I like a 15 year old what do you think why did your parents allow that

00:09:18.920 because they saw how he was because he was a nice yeah and I was he was a good dude I was literally

00:09:23.480 begging them as well like if your daughter's growing like I love him you know what I mean

00:09:28.560 what can you do right um but I think the attachment was is because I was so young and I think I was

00:09:37.040 with him for that long because I was so young and also didn't really know what I want so you you

00:09:43.660 would have said he was a good guy though yeah not a bad boy good boy no he wasn't a bad guy at all

00:09:49.060 but I'm in a relationship you know um and what made him different was that you were young it was

00:09:57.020 your first like guy that you were with yeah okay yeah literally but um I look on it I look on it now

00:10:05.000 as in it was an okay experience but we also broke up in between as well and that's I think

00:10:13.580 because I was so young I like missed the the love and like the kind of like he kind of led the way

00:10:22.640 through everything so I think that's why I went back but I actually broke up with him because I was

00:10:26.340 bored you broke up with him because you were bored I broke up with him like three times just because

00:10:31.220 you were bored because I one because I was bored because we what do we have in common really what do

00:10:37.160 you have in common with a 14 year old and 19 like we are actually in different paths of life and then

00:10:43.340 he was long distance as well and it's just I was growing up and I was starting to like other things

00:10:51.880 and I was starting to actually know what my type was maybe you know so yeah that's that's the reason

00:10:59.040 why I think I kept on going back because of the age okay yeah what about you yeah I can kind of

00:11:05.220 relate to some of what you're saying there because my first relationship I was 16 and he was 20 and

00:11:10.720 he was already a father um and again my mum did not want me to date this guy she would literally pin

00:11:17.240 me down uh to stop me from going to see him what was wrong with him the fact that he had a child and

00:11:22.340 he was 20 right okay yeah yeah so yeah it was like that's not what you want for your 16 year old

00:11:26.680 daughter um but yeah I fell head over heels in love with him um I moved out of home when I was 17

00:11:33.400 got my own place he moved in with me so we were having a very adult relationship from the age of

00:11:38.800 17 um I did end up breaking up with him because actually what was interesting was I ended up taking

00:11:46.560 on quite a masculine role in that relationship I started earning very well and he wasn't and I was

00:11:53.140 then paying for everything and it was I lost respect for him to be honest um and I kind of made it known

00:12:00.240 it kind of came out as quite an outburst one day and I was like you know don't feel embarrassed

00:12:04.300 about the fact that every time we go to the movies I'm getting my purse out and every time we get you

00:12:08.500 know and all this so he and how old were you did you say um so at that point when I broke up with him

00:12:13.640 I was getting on for 19. okay so you're with him for three years yeah yeah um broke up with him um but

00:12:19.440 I loved him you know I really loved him he retaliated when I brought that two cents and

00:12:23.980 by throwing furniture around so I was like right you're out you know that was that he was a bad boy

00:12:29.120 too well he actually wasn't but he was so ashamed that it was like he reacted by just throwing a

00:12:35.020 drawers like punching the wall but I'd never seen that side of him before oh okay he was soft as a

00:12:40.560 kitten up until that point and then you said I pay I pay for all our dates like you you yelled at him 0.98

00:12:46.320 and then he started punching the wall yeah but but and three years I'd never seen that side of him

00:12:50.980 okay but at that point I was like pack your bags you're gone right you yeah you had to kick him to

00:12:56.220 the curb I had to he had to go he had to go right but then when he moved on and got into another

00:13:02.300 relationship I then started to feel like actually maybe I still love him and wanted to be with him

00:13:07.900 so it was almost like when he when someone else wanted him I wanted him back you know and then it

00:13:13.280 actually took a while for me to get over him which was strange um wait so you were you were good you

00:13:19.280 were moved on then you found out he was dating someone else and you you wanted him back yeah

00:13:23.140 he wanted me back did you did you get him back or no um no so he he actually was trying to get me

00:13:29.620 back for a period of time I didn't want to know but then the moment he got with somebody else it was a

00:13:34.540 bit of a toxic trait in me you know I then wanted him back um and that that time it was too late because

00:13:40.680 he'd then moved on moved him moved him with someone else and it actually did take me a long

00:13:44.500 time because I sort of thought oh you know maybe he is my my one true love you know um he made a

00:13:50.020 mistake but he's still a good guy and I still love him so it did take me a while to get over that one

00:13:54.820 I think because it was that first significant

00:13:56.840 in.

JustPearlyThings - May 29, 2023

She Proved That Women Love Bad Boys

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