She Proved that Women Love The Bad Boy
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
209.85446
Summary
Pamela and Tommy Lee have been married since 1994 and have been on and off again since. They have a daughter together and have a son together but they have not been together for 5 years. Pamela recently revealed that she has been in love with Tommy for over 5 years and they have been texting and talking about getting back together.
Transcript
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Okay, so I know we have a mixed crowd when it comes to age.
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So who knows who Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee?
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Tommy Lee is a rock star, for those of you that don't know.
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and they've had just like an on-again, off-again relationship since...
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So they got married after four days of knowing each other.
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And literally, they were just on again, off again.
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They also had a sex tape that was released during when they were together.
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They had two sons, and he also was arrested for abuse.
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He went to jail for it, and she actually still got back with him after.
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And then again, on again, off again, on again, off again, until now they're not together.
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They've separated, and he's married to someone else, and she's single.
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Now, the reason that I bring this up is because recently she has been doing a documentary.
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And in the documentary, she said that she texted at 55...
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She texted Tommy Lee that he is her one true love while he's married to someone else.
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So, my question for the panel was, have you ever had an ex that was incredibly hard to get over?
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For me, I would say, it was really like my first kind of love.
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I think I was like 18 at the time when I got with him.
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So, I feel like when you're at that age, especially us women, being so emotional, I just felt really attached to him.
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And even though I'd see him doing a lot, I feel like I'd always want to run back to him.
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Everything I was doing, he just knew the right word to kind of say.
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And I feel like I was too good at getting sucked in.
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How long were you on again, off again with him?
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And then by the end of 2021, that's when we called it quits.
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But during that stage, during that time period, we got together about three times and broke up three times.
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And would you say he was a nice guy or a bad boy?
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But just like, obviously, the age I am now and the maturity I have, looking back, there's a lot of things that he used to do.
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I know now when certain guys say stuff, they don't mean it.
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But back then, it's very easy to get sucked in, like I said before.
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And he just used to always know the right words to say, which can be a good trait sometimes.
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But in relationships, especially as a guy, I don't know.
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It was puppy love for me because, obviously, that was like my first real proper, like, relationship.
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And, obviously, at that age as well, I'm thinking, like, this is some fairytale going on, da-da-da-da.
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But realising now and looking back at it now, I wouldn't have done so many things that I did do and listened to him the way that I did, if that makes sense.
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I feel like my, the love that I had is kind of different to yours in the sense that mine wasn't a bad guy.
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We always want to see the good in the drug deal.
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I feel like, I feel like a lot of times, certain situations, it's a cop-out answer sometimes to say, oh, you're not a situation, things like that.
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But generally, for this guy, like, the way that he was brought up from very, very young was not good.
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And it kind of, like, that was the path that was predestined for him.
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But then he's kind of, like, got out of it now.
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But for me, it was very difficult to get over him when he came out of jail.
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You have to change yourself, everything like this, fast.
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And by that time, I was like, we're not going to get back together.
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But I had to just realize that the amount that I loved him and the amount that I love myself, I'm very solid on what I want and what I do not want from a man.
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And in that time, the year that he took to change, I realized that I do not want to be with someone who already has a child because I'm selfish.
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I want to be fast for a little bit of the relationship, at least.
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But I just feel like he saw that there was another way to live life rather than the one that he had been stuck in for all that time.
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It just was a thing where I realized that as much as I love him and as much as he loves me and all these kind of things, there's a greater kind of love.
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I feel like when you love people and when people love you, it's a very selfish kind of thing because it's like, I love you.
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I want you to be with me and we're going to make it work and what I want.
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But I was just like, you know what, for the best, for what I want and what you want, you can't just keep on going down this path.
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What made him different than other guys that made it hard for you to get over him?
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We were talking about it earlier, but he was genuinely very honest.
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If he did something bad, he did something good.
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And even if he did something bad, he was honest.
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And it kind of made me accept that, you know what, even if I might feel like people are down the wrong road.
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And I have a stereotype of road men that they're dishonest and that they like to use words because men know that women want to hear certain things, right?
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And I feel like men use that to manipulate women.
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And he showed me that, you know what, someone can go be in that lifestyle, want better for themselves and not manipulate you with words.
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And if you don't accept it, you don't accept it.
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And then you have to sort out what you're going to do from there on.
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You feel like other guys told you what you wanted to hear where he told you the truth.
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And yes, and also another thing which I think a lot of men nowadays really struggle with is being assertive in a respectful way.
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Like he would not allow me, like I can be a bit, I think everyone can be a bit, push the buttons a bit sometimes, you know, push the boundaries and stuff.
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But he always let me know, this is not how it's going to be.
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And I respected that because he knew the right way to do it.
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And a lot of men do not know how to do that nowadays.
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They get angry or they don't know how to express themselves or they blame you.
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So when I was going out with my ex, I was very young compared to him.
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But he actually did ask permission from my mom and dad because he was like, I really like your daughter.
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And he was very kind and sweet, but it was also long distance as well.
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So he was living in Holland and I was living here, but he would get like, I think it was
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like a 12 hour coach every two weeks to come and see me.
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And he was working like two jobs as well at like 19 years of age.
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But I think from that, because I was so young, he was my first everything as well.
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And so I think that's what kept the attachment for so long.
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But I think because I was so young, I think I was just so excited that like an older boy
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And when I look back on it now at 21 years of age, I'm thinking, I don't think that's
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If one of my friends would come to me and say, I like a 15 year old, what do you think?
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Like if your daughter's growing, like, I love him.
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But I think the attachment was, is because I was so young.
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And I think I was with him for that long because I was so young and also didn't really
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So you, you would have said he was a good guy though.
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But I'm in a relationship, you know, I'm in a relationship now.
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And what made him different was that you were young.
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But I look on it, I look on it now as in, it was an okay experience, but we also broke
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And that's, I think, because I was so young, I like missed the, the love and like the kind
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of like, he kind of led the way through everything.
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So I think that's why I went back, but I actually broke up with him because I was bored.
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Because I, one, because I was bored, because we, what do we have in common really?
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What do you have in common with a 14 year old and 19?
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Like we are actually in different paths of life.
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And it's just, I was growing up and I was starting to like other things and I was starting
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to actually know what my type was maybe, you know?
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So yeah, that's, that's the reason why I think I kept on going back because of the age.
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Yeah, I can kind of relate to some of what you're saying there.
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Cause my first relationship, I was 16 and he was 20 and he was already a father.
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Um, and again, my mom did not want me to date this guy.
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She would literally pin me down to stop me from going to see him.
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So yeah, it was like, that's not what you want for your 16 year old daughter.
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Um, but yeah, I fell head over heels in love with him.
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Um, I moved out of home when I was 17, got my own place.
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So we were having a very adult relationship from the age of 17.
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Um, I did end up breaking up with him because actually what was interesting was I ended up
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taking on quite a masculine role in that relationship.
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And it was, I lost respect for him, to be honest.
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It kind of came out as quite an outburst one day.
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And I was like, you know, don't feel embarrassed about the fact that every time we go to the
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movies, I'm getting my purse out and every time we get, you know, and all this.
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Um, so at that point when I broke up with him, I was getting on for 19.
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Um, but I loved him, you know, really loved him.
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He retaliated when I brought that two cents and by throwing furniture around.
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Well, he actually wasn't, but he was so ashamed that it was like he reacted by just throwing
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And then you said, I pay, I pay for all our dates.
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Like you, you yelled at him and then he started punching the wall.
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But, but I, and three years I'd never seen that side of him.
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But then when he moved on and got into another relationship, I then started to feel like,
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actually, maybe I still love him and wanted to be with him.
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So it was almost like when he, when someone else wanted him, I wanted him back, you know?
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And then it actually took a while for me to get over him, which was strange.
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Then you found out he was dating someone else and you, you wanted him back.
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So he, he actually was trying to get me back for a period of time.
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But then the moment he got with somebody else, it was a bit of a toxic trait in me.
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Um, and that, that time it was too late because he'd then moved on, moved in, moved in with
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And it actually did take me a long time because I sort of thought, oh, you know, maybe he
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Um, he made a mistake, but he's still a good guy and I still love him.
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So it did take me a while to get over that one.
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I think because it was that first significant relationship.
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Um, my ex-partner and the father of my children, um, I met him when I was 14 years old.
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So, um, so he was like, he was my first ever boyfriend.
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And when I met him, I remember this, I was at school and I met him.
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He came and chatted me up at the bus stop after school with his friends.
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Um, and I thought he was the most handsome guy that I'd ever seen in my life.
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And I was super flattered that he was talking to me.
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Um, so we dated, I say we dated, we were in a little bit of a relationship for maybe like
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Um, and then he broke up with me and I was just, I was heartbroken.
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I think at that time I really convinced myself that I loved him and that I was mature enough
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And my friends and my family were like, no, he's not for you.
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They were obviously seeing something that I didn't see because you're in that bubble of
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being in love and this juvenile sense of, he's my everything.
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Like at 14, I don't think you can know what your everything is.
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Um, so we, we were together first kind of intimate experience and things like that.
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And I think that I put that, uh, I held that to quite an, you know, on quite a pedal store
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that I was intimate with somebody for the first time.
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And so this must be love and we're going to be together forever.
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Um, we, our relationship came to an end when we was, I don't know, I think maybe like a
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Um, and I saw other people and things like that, but he would always contact me.
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So it will be like, we wouldn't speak for maybe like six months or something.
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And then I'd randomly bump into him in the street, which just kept fueling this sense
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in my mind of, oh my God, we're clearly meant to be together.
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Um, I would say again, sort of in line with that whole us bumping into each other and me
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feeling like it's fate, it's meant to be on my gosh.
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Um, and again, I moved, I moved into a place and on my first day of living there, I've
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gone to the, like the local shop and he's just there and he's like, this is the pub.
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The pub next door is where he like cashed his checks after work and stuff.
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We separated when I was 30, when I was 30, he's only two years older than me.
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It was very, I wouldn't say it was very toxic, but I didn't see him for what he was.
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I was just in this bubble of, I love him and he's who I'm going to be with forever.
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I would say that I believed he was a nice guy, but in hindsight, he's not a very nice
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He's a bad, like if you, if you had to classify one, he'd be bad boy category.
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But not like your, your stereotypical bad boy, like he's got edge about him more like
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And I think that was particularly when we had our children, um, we moved away from my
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So all of my relationships started to take a bit of a, a hit for this love that I thought
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Um, and I would say by the time, by the time I got to 29, I started to see it for what it
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And I started to see he was quite narcissistic.
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He was quite, I would never want to, um, deform his character and say he was narcissistic.
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But from my experience, I felt like I was being emotionally manipulated, mentally manipulated
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Um, so we separated when I was 30 and it was actually a really bad breakup, like really,
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Um, so we've been, we haven't been together for five years, four and a half, five years
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My children absolutely adore him and he adores them.
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They see him very regularly, but he, we, he doesn't even give me eye contact.
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Um, to be honest with you, I think, I think that he didn't take the time to heal from our
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And if I'm being really transparent, um, I checked out in like the last year of our
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relationship, I checked out he, you know, he was doing his thing.
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He was unfaithful in the beginning of our relationship.
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Um, it prompted like an open relationship for like a year, which I didn't really want
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to have, but because he wanted to have it, I kind of agreed with it because I felt like
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Um, I never stepped out and did anything, but I would like tell him I was going on a
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date and I'd go to like my girlfriend's house and just chill with her so that he thought
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I was going on a date because I knew that he would be with someone else.
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