JustPearlyThings - May 28, 2023


She THINKS She INTIMIDATES Men

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Lizzo
Pearl DESTROYED O.F Model for Saying This! This Explains Why Modern Women Are Miserable

Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

210.25

Word count

1,711

Sentence count

150

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are joined by Lizzo, an Italian-born Ghanaian-born Afrobeat host and host. We talk about her experience growing up in Ghana and how she dealt with the challenges of being a black woman in the UK.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I'm a host and presenter for Enercover Afrobeat events but nobody knows I did my
00:00:03.720 masters, nobody knows I did undergrad, nobody knows I'm a STEM student and now
00:00:07.620 I'm a BSc and I'm actually a geek no one knows that no one cares for that no one
00:00:10.860 asks. That was a fun fact why didn't you say it? Because it's boring, because it's boring.
00:00:15.960 Who is it boring for? And maybe that's the same thing Lizzo was saying, because modern people
00:00:23.400 think it's boring I find that I find it really fascinating and that for me
00:00:27.840 that's something you should lead with. That's true. Because Lizzo does that. Because that's special, that's special, that is something that... Be careful, it makes you on the track, sister.
00:00:35.520 That is something that not everybody else... Exactly, but at the same time as a black woman and you're now what, you're educated, double educated, you're, you know, this, that, you want to be a mom. You scare men away, guys, I want to get married, I'm afraid. No, no, no, no, but that's what society, that's what society makes you believe.
00:00:54.120 Men aren't, men aren't scared by that unless you act like you're better than them because of it.
00:00:57.800 That's how hard you say. You're a woman, no man, no, an average guy can beat you up, no man is intimidated by you. 1.00
00:01:03.800 No, not physically, not physically, but I have had people, no people come to me and tell me they're intimidated.
00:01:09.800 They're not the people for you, sounds like they're not that intimidated.
00:01:13.800 And I look at them and I'm like, excuse me? They're not the ones for you.
00:01:15.800 No, no, of course they're not. You can't be intimidated by me. You have to see me and love my energy.
00:01:20.920 But when women say this to you, what does that typically mean? 1.00
00:01:26.280 It means like she's, she's mad egotistical, like men are intimidated, might be this and that.
00:01:32.360 And it's men judge you by your body language and like how feminine you are. 1.00
00:01:36.280 And so if guys looking at you being like, I'm intimidated because of like a degree or something like that. 0.99
00:01:40.840 I've never met a guy who gave a flying fuck anything. No one ever, no one cares. 0.98
00:01:45.480 I think it's the type of people that say that are always people who behave in a way that creates that image.
00:01:50.600 And then they say, Oh, it's because I'm a woman because I'm this and that. That's my experience.
00:01:53.640 No. Okay. But I'm saying to you that I don't wake up like this. Okay.
00:01:56.840 I came here even just be myself, not here as in here, here to the UK in general, even the way I speak,
00:02:02.680 because I speak with an Italian mentality to say it's rude. It's too strong. It's too forward. 1.00
00:02:07.160 Italians get that as well. A lot of people don't, cannot work with that. You understand?
00:02:12.280 I'm not saying that I'm intimidating. I'm saying that I'm being told I'm intimidating. I don't think I am.
00:02:17.240 You need to change your circle. Navigate it.
00:02:21.080 If you understand enough that it's like part of your Italian habits, habits from another language,
00:02:25.560 then surely you can just like, you know, self evaluate and be like, all right, I'll adjust.
00:02:29.240 There's a lot of Italians there who managed to not be seen as rude.
00:02:32.360 It's very difficult.
00:02:33.640 It's not. It's not. You see it now. It's adjusting yourself. So I have to be myself,
00:02:37.480 have self-love instead at the same time, adjust myself. Like, this is why this society is going
00:02:41.160 babash. This is another fallacy, right? This is another fallacy.
00:02:43.880 I have to be myself. I appreciate myself, have self-care, but at the same time I need to adjust myself.
00:02:47.880 I don't understand. That's a fallacy.
00:02:49.640 To not scare somebody. That's a fallacy.
00:02:52.280 Now, when you're saying about the Italian news, I've got a Ghanaian friend and she's Italian.
00:02:56.360 Yeah. And she's the most calmest.
00:02:57.800 No, no, no, I know.
00:02:58.360 And I don't understand about, it don't make no difference.
00:03:03.000 I'm just talking about adjusting yourself as an Italian.
00:03:05.480 Yeah.
00:03:05.800 Because Italian is who you are. The culture and all of the, the firiness is something that can be toned down. 1.00
00:03:13.480 So that's what I'm asking about. What is it about your Italian that they find it intimidating? 0.79
00:03:18.680 Sometimes it's also regional, regional. People from like the South or from Rome and stuff,
00:03:23.400 sometimes a bit different, but it's just how the tone of voice comes out. It's not really what I'm
00:03:27.720 saying. Like if I, if I speak, I can speak. To me, a lot of Italian people sound passionate when they
00:03:33.480 talk. Yeah. Yeah. And people would take that the wrong way as arrogant, ignorant, loud, but I just
00:03:40.040 think they're passionate. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly, that's exactly the word. But I think, I think 0.95
00:03:44.520 that's like a lack of femininity though. Like, I think like typically when, when I hear girls say 1.00
00:03:49.560 this and some, some behavior that, that they do, that's like a lack of femininity to men and that's
00:03:55.000 what's putting them off. Well, I've never heard that before. I'm absolutely. No, no, no, no. In the
00:04:00.360 sense that even what she said, like, and this is someone like I can be loud too. I'm not, I'm not above
00:04:06.680 it, but I'm, I'm just saying like when, when she said like loud, like the, the traits that auntie just 0.94
00:04:11.960 used that that's not the, none of them are feminine traits. And so men don't typically
00:04:16.680 like loud girls, you know, it was me. I talk about it. My Italian friend, my Italian friend's
00:04:22.520 been married for years and she's gone in and she's Italian and I've never heard her raise her.
00:04:27.800 I've never heard her raise her tone of voice. Yeah. She is just so humbling. She is just so
00:04:34.440 feminine. Her and her husband, I don't know, they're just perfect together. He looks at her like
00:04:41.800 every time he sees her, I look at him, they live together. They've been together for years
00:04:45.800 and they've got free beautiful and he looks at her like as if it was the first day he met her.
00:04:50.920 When he looks at her, he's in, it's like the love is in there. And when I'll see her and she's only
00:04:56.040 tiny. And when I'll see you in a little trainers and I say to her, Hey, are you looking at what's
00:04:59.640 your husband saying? Cause you're losing a bit of weight. You're looking a bit sexy. She's 55.
00:05:03.800 That was what I made a birthday cake for. And her and her husband, even though they're both Italian,
00:05:09.160 they're the most humblest, most quietest, most undercover sexiest people.
00:05:16.520 Thank you.
00:05:17.240 They know, undercover sexy because you can just see that they've got that
00:05:21.880 sexiness deep inside of them.
00:05:23.400 Okay.
00:05:23.640 I do want to add quickly though, that fallacy, that's a fallacy. And I see this a lot in the
00:05:28.840 black community where, you know, a lot of the time black women and a lot of the black community 0.99
00:05:34.680 know the pain points in communication. And there's always a defensive kind of like, oh,
00:05:39.240 it's self editing. It's, you know, if, if I kind of calm myself down and understand this,
00:05:43.240 that it's, it's me not loving myself and there's all this pushback and you realize feminine
00:05:47.640 women don't really do that. Like feminine women like watch, they're calm. They're very careful 1.00
00:05:52.360 with their tone. You know, they fit into every conversation. And I think that's something as
00:05:55.960 a community, we need to, we need to promote that those kinds of values. Like you can be a classy
00:05:59.720 black woman who's not loud, who's kind of, you know, suave about how you engage yourself. It's not, 1.00
00:06:04.200 it doesn't mean you're not, you don't love yourself.
00:06:05.640 Do you know something? If the modern women want to have some of that, then they should do what I do 1.00
00:06:12.440 and mix with, because I find out that a lot of people who have negative ideas about marriage
00:06:19.560 is because they have no positive role models of marriage. And if they, even if they nowadays,
00:06:25.400 I've realized that modern people, even if their parents are together and their parents have like,
00:06:31.000 they're still married, they're looking at their parents' relationship as something negative.
00:06:36.040 When it should be something, you know, they might think, oh, my dad tells my mom what to do,
00:06:39.400 oh, my mom was just a housewife. And they've seen it as something negative,
00:06:42.760 where it's something positive. So me personally, when I, now, even though I'm content with my man,
00:06:48.920 I still surround myself with happily married feminine women and their husbands and their families, 1.00
00:06:56.520 because I sort of, I'm like a sponge. I just want to jump in the middle and soak it all up.
00:07:01.640 Yeah, I tell young women that as well.
00:07:03.640 Okay. I'm gonna, it's getting kind of late, so I'm gonna take a second to read super chats,
00:07:08.600 and then we're gonna do final thoughts. So anything you want to speak your piece on,
00:07:13.000 um, don't, don't go on too long, you know, but we're, we're gonna give you a chance to speak at
00:07:18.040 the end. So, um, thank you guys for all of the donations this show. Um, it really helps us fund
00:07:23.560 the new camera that we're trying to get. We're trying to shoot in 8K, um, blessing. Are we going
00:07:28.440 to be able to stream in 8K at some point? Oh no. Okay. It's just, it's for reaction videos. Um,
00:07:34.360 I really want to be able to see the freckles on my face when I do reactions. I don't have a lot.
00:07:39.720 I have a few though. And I feel like, yeah, it's going to be cool. Okay. And we're just doing the
00:07:43.720 $10 or more. Um, I also heard you guys that you want, uh, as many of you know, I was just banned
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