JustPearlyThings - She Tried Justifying Not Reporting Abuse

00:00:00.000 i'm not doing it for no reason i'm doing it so that the women that go through something and don't 0.97

00:00:03.520 have the balls to go to the police they can actually say do you know what at least there's

00:00:07.800 somebody there that says if i leave at least i'm free of it now because not everybody go to the

00:00:12.580 police go to the police if you can if you can't i understand why you didn't and if you want message

00:00:17.200 me denival.ao i'll help you don't worry my sisters i got you what you're going through nobody knows

00:00:22.480 until you're going through it nobody trust me um okay but i would also like to add a slightly

00:00:28.540 analytical perspective has any of the viewers noticed that around these conversations there's

00:00:34.400 a there's a strong pattern with feminists right so normally it's everyone's being abused none of 1.00

00:00:40.740 them report it and their personal experience counts for the reality so it's normally like

00:00:46.920 you know everyone i i know two people who got jumped by by you know guys on the street um so that makes

00:00:55.120 it a problem i didn't tell anyone at the time but i was suffering inside i was damaged in all these

00:01:00.180 ways that no one can really prove or evidence um but i will tell you i was damaged because i guess

00:01:05.100 no one can prove it um and you know it's an issue for everyone well that's why boys don't report it so

00:01:12.340 domestic abuse for boys don't exist because the police don't see it no what alex is saying is that

00:01:17.180 you can't use the statistics when you're not contributing to the statistics to defend what

00:01:20.920 you have not reported that's basically what you're saying i think you can't use that you can't use

00:01:25.180 that to your advantage if you don't help contribute that because you reporting it no matter when it

00:01:30.820 happens you can report a year later two year letters report it help contribute to that statistic in

00:01:36.460 such a way it now shows and proves that you know because even if they don't press charges today

00:01:42.520 or tomorrow or for your case like people have patterns of behavior exactly and so you're just

00:01:47.280 contributing to the problem by not reporting it like like by like by going on a on a podcast using

00:01:53.500 the story to make you look good and i don't need it to make me look good and then not reporting it

00:01:59.400 and then saying that under the guise of i'm doing this to help women it's like if you wanted to help

00:02:04.140 women then you would have went to the police okay they're all noble victims it's it's like i don't know

00:02:09.060 like i think that sometimes when people like talk about these situations they haven't gone through they

00:02:14.200 really get and don't get the image for example the reason why i don't even need to report it because

00:02:19.020 a lot of these things have happened in public i never i i actually said withdraw the charges i don't

00:02:23.520 want him to go to prison why because i loved him and i didn't want him to be in prison over something

00:02:27.680 that i thought me and him could actually resolve family could be involved in help but you're fighting

00:02:33.440 a lot against against a lot of factors that's why i say if you're going to use the argument of

00:02:37.840 oh you're here talking about it but you didn't report it didn't happen then men don't get abused

00:02:42.300 and it's the the point still remains women get abused more than men that's like as simple as

00:02:47.020 that and that's why i'm saying like because men don't report it so it don't happen no women 0.99

00:02:52.040 one-sided abuse is more common for women to do so so if it's if you're not if it's not mutual hitting 0.99

00:02:58.440 okay because like i i wouldn't say that's an abusive relationship if you guys are hitting each 0.96

00:03:03.140 other like i wouldn't i wouldn't say you're a victim if you're hitting each other you're just toxic

00:03:06.580 yeah it's just and so like i would argue you're not a victim if you're hitting each other constantly

00:03:11.420 this this reminds me of the theory of hysteria if you read like the victorians used to talk about

00:03:16.900 this this is this is like you know quite controversial but the victorians had this idea that um of

00:03:22.560 hysteria that sometimes women would get into hysteria about things and and like just make stuff up and 1.00

00:03:28.060 a lot of the time when i talk to the feminists i meet outside i do get the vibe that like she might be 1.00

00:03:33.360 because because there's people that they all say the same thing it's like apparently everyone's

00:03:37.900 been abused doesn't matter whether they go to the top uni or the or the worst uni everyone's abused

00:03:41.800 especially when there's a big media event all of a sudden everyone comes out and they've had the

00:03:45.580 same story and i'm like really like because because amber heard got punched in the face now you were

00:03:49.520 getting whipped yesterday really i've known you for like three years you know and i just it just shows

00:03:54.320 a lack of accountability like when you ask them these questions they start throwing out all these words

00:03:58.460 well it's because like it goes back to if you really cared about women you'd report it if you 0.91

00:04:03.620 if you genuinely like because you can report it you can report it later and you might not win but at

00:04:08.820 least it goes on record and police can pull up those records to use in a case later cool like i said so

00:04:15.000 any records i need to be used will be used the reason why i would prefer to use this platform to speak

00:04:19.640 about and to do that is because like i said i don't only just champion women and men and sometimes men

00:04:26.260 today i'm meant to be on the voice side and i also champion the black community culturally there's

00:04:30.780 certain things that i decided not to do because i i have a complete a complex makeup so i'd rather sit

00:04:36.780 here and tell girls if you're being abused and you don't know what to do and you're lost and you feel

00:04:41.920 like your world is so lonely and nobody can help you i'm telling you can get out of it you don't if you

00:04:47.660 don't feel like reporting to the police don't go speak to somebody somebody will understand because

00:04:52.140 people have gone through and they've come out out of it stronger than whatever situation they were in

00:04:56.540 so that's all i'm saying abuse exists it's real it's very very deep and that's why people sometimes

00:05:02.180 don't talk about it the same way it goes for men same way it goes for women but let's not try and act

00:05:05.940 like women don't actually go through this and a lot of the time like you said women will all then say

00:05:10.260 oh yeah i was abused as well yeah because a lot of people go through things and they hide it they

00:05:13.880 embarrassed or they they feel ashamed or especially when you're not talking about oh yeah but you're

00:05:17.780 damaged goods and you know things like that people won't speak up that's what it is listen right you

00:05:22.200 can go if you're abused and you can report it and nobody will know about it nobody would know about

00:05:30.480 it they've even got special codes now that you can go into a shop and you can say to them you know

00:05:36.840 give them a keyword i can't remember what the name is it's a woman's name yeah where is the code exactly

00:05:41.520 at the bar it's called angela if you go to the bartender and you tell them i need to call angela

00:05:46.060 even in any shops or chemists or you know i mean some pharmacies where is that for men so it's not

00:05:53.480 to say that oh you're gonna feel shame listen right if anybody's out there getting abused report it

00:05:58.280 don't go and talk to your friends about it go and report it there's nothing to be ashamed about

00:06:02.580 nobody needs to know don't go out there and advertise it go and talk to somebody about it that's what you

00:06:08.540 need to do i am champion for the women it's nothing to do with culture it's nothing to do with the 0.87

00:06:13.980 blackness it's to do with women and men full stop if you are getting abused go and report it don't

00:06:20.140 talk to your friends about it as soon as it happens go and report it because there is help for you and

00:06:25.480 i would like them to be codes for men too and there should be codes for men so that if a man is getting

00:06:29.940 abused rather than going somewhere and you think to yourself well i'm a man and i have to go and

00:06:34.440 report this there should be a code where a man goes into a police station said the code and then he gets

00:06:39.860 treated the same way as if a woman says the code i hear you auntie but um you get some people out

00:06:45.860 there that they just won't go to the police either because um they feel like the police ain't gonna do

00:06:51.360 nothing about it you know what i'm saying don't knock it till you've tried it i hear you but um

00:06:54.720 there's this i'm just saying in general there's a lot of people you can't say that to everyone if

00:06:58.240 you've been abused go report to the police because not everybody's gonna do that some people don't

00:07:01.720 even trust the police like some people might have like oh maybe say if someone put on yeah the

00:07:06.000 police killed my son or you know i mean they don't trust the police so everybody's not gonna go to

00:07:10.040 the police i understand i understand what you're saying right but if they're not gonna report it

00:07:14.480 and you don't want to say nothing about it shut up about it don't go on social media and advertise it

00:07:20.840 i agree shut up about it because i don't understand how somebody could be too scared too frightened to

00:07:27.520 report it to a police but they're not too scared too frightened to go on a public platform and talk

00:07:33.060 about it it don't make no sense it don't make no sense to me do you know what it is right you get

00:07:37.360 some people right they feel like if they announce it on the social media they feel like they're releasing

00:07:42.220 their stress you know i'm saying this from my experience i've seen this you know i'm saying in

00:07:46.440 this generation right now back in the days in one of that but in this generation right now i've seen a

00:07:50.260 lot of people when they're going through this that they feel like if they're going on social media

00:07:53.580 going to life and then express their feelings because they just want the world to know what they're

00:07:57.200 going through yeah but there's there's therapists i hear that but a lot of people don't do that

00:08:01.400 friends and family like why are you going to on a pot like if if you're saying you're afraid

00:08:05.780 if you're afraid of not being believed if that's that's what you're saying then you're going to go

00:08:11.700 talk to more people about it that doesn't like two plus two doesn't equal four it doesn't make sense

00:08:16.780 but i'm just saying you get some people like that yeah but like why do you i don't believe it

00:08:21.400 i don't buy i think it's a form of social currency now have you been abused yeah oh how was it did you

00:08:27.780 report it no then don't say you've been abused then same as me sorry no that's that's not how

00:08:32.880 that works so so you don't you don't use your your experiences as a way to kind of prove a point

00:08:38.240 but that doesn't mean you can't factually state that like you asked the question so i'm going to

00:08:42.520 answer your question factually anyway moving on um yeah i think it's a form of social currency i think

00:08:47.960 because we've we've seen we see this a lot right whether they all come up here and they've all you know

00:08:52.020 everyone's got their victim story and they're all noble victims and i just feel like they get a kick

00:08:55.340 off it like it's it's cool to be like to be one of the downtrodden it's cool to be a victim

00:08:59.860 sorry i wouldn't say it's it's like cool to be a victim i went through it and i think maybe because

00:09:07.760 time has passed like you said you you are now you are now able to vent about what happened but maybe

00:09:16.200 when you're going through that and i'll say it's someone who did go through that in two relationships

00:09:20.800 there was no way i could speak about it because to me no one would believe me

00:09:24.880 to me i just had a baby with him and you know you've given this this guy a son and

00:09:31.660 you made your bed lying yeah and to society especially to like latin american

00:09:35.560 cultures portuguese okay uh you have to you have to like even though as stupid as it sound

00:09:42.900 okay you've had a child with someone okay make it look like you're doing well in life

00:09:47.580 so you don't want to come out and say you know what i am being abused i am being

00:09:51.000 mentally uh being abused i have to say mentally because it wasn't physical with this one right

00:09:56.620 um so what happened the second time can i ask what happened the second time uh the second time was um

00:10:02.140 it became physical but with this one it was both so i have to say that i was also i got i also got

00:10:10.100 physical with him and there was a time that there was a time there was a time i headbutted him so hard

00:10:15.400 in the mouth and he had to bustle it for a whole week did he call the police on you no no he didn't

00:10:20.360 because he would always say i'll never call the police on you because that's not me i'm a man

00:10:24.040 and i'll take it and in my and in my head auntie jenny i was like i'm i'm a piece of shit because 0.78

00:10:31.020 even though he's tall and he's bigger than me i still hit him and i have no right to do that so i

00:10:36.280 am abusing him even though he did that so it was just like you say it was it was it was an

00:10:41.000 absolutely toxic relationship but now when i look back at it i'm like i i don't blame him i don't

00:10:46.440 see him any i don't see him any less because i was just as bad as him like we were just as we were

00:10:51.800 just as bad as you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

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JustPearlyThings - April 01, 2023

She Tried Justifying Not Reporting Abuse

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