JustPearlyThings - Single Mother Gets DESTROYED For Lying About Her Ex

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.920 You see like how it sounds when you say like your story like keeps contradicting itself like it like I haven't even really asked you like like you've been going on like talking about it and like volunteering this information and then like you keep contradicting yourself.

00:00:15.740 And I think the reason is is because I am a clash of cultures.

00:00:19.200 So I am very, you know, obviously I'm Bangladeshi British Muslim and I think the modern side is what is me, what I'm fighting against.

00:00:27.280 Does that make sense?

00:00:27.880 So the more I'm realizing actually I'm not this modern woman is the more comfortable I'm getting in who I am.

00:00:33.020 I don't I don't think you can really go back.

00:00:35.280 Like I don't think you can really claim traditional if you're separated from your like your husband.

00:00:40.540 It's no when I say traditional I say traditionally my values in my morals not that I'm I'm I'm going to stick in a marriage that I'm unhappy in because I'm a traditional woman.

00:00:48.480 It's more I know what I want for myself and I know that this right but like that rhetoric right there that sounds very modern.

00:00:55.520 Tell us how to keep a man.

00:00:57.080 And auntie.

00:01:00.220 She had some stuff we could all learn from.

00:01:05.160 Just say listen to him and make him the head to keep it simple.

00:01:10.220 No, no, no.

00:01:10.760 What did you say last time?

00:01:11.760 I said what empty is.

00:01:18.060 Philly's belly and empty is sack regular every day as much as possible.

00:01:24.020 What do you.

00:01:24.720 Is that what they want to hear?

00:01:25.600 Yeah, yeah, they this is their bellies and empty their sacks.

00:01:31.220 All men will be happy.

00:01:36.320 She got into more detail last.

00:01:39.560 Oh, yeah.

00:01:43.080 No, I just think I don't know.

00:01:45.340 I just think that the traditional women, they always had sex all the time.

00:01:50.600 Hence all the children and the happy men.

00:01:53.280 You know, they just didn't just stay at home.

00:01:55.960 They just worked really hard.

00:01:57.300 And sometimes modern women just don't like to give their husbands lots and lots and lots and lots.

00:02:02.620 Most modern women don't like sex.

00:02:05.100 How long have you been?

00:02:05.800 Really?

00:02:06.380 How long has your relationship been?

00:02:08.140 32 years and we're still having sex regular.

00:02:11.340 Yes, auntie.

00:02:12.500 Regular.

00:02:12.940 And not no old people sex either.

00:02:17.360 What do you.

00:02:17.600 Right?

00:02:17.920 Regular.

00:02:18.560 What do you.

00:02:18.920 What do you say to girls that say they're tired?

00:02:21.560 Too tired for what?

00:02:23.260 Too tired for what?

00:02:23.960 I'm never tired.

00:02:25.340 I'm never tired.

00:02:26.240 I drove 135 miles just to have sex with him.

00:02:31.220 That's how good it is.

00:02:32.320 That's wild.

00:02:32.680 Because he wanted to.

00:02:33.940 And he said to me, you're up for it.

00:02:35.160 And I said, yep, I'm in the car.

00:02:36.780 And there I was.

00:02:37.920 How many modern women would do that?

00:02:39.700 And then when I'd finish, you went to work and then I went back home.

00:02:43.040 What do you.

00:02:43.580 What do you say to women that say they can't do it every day?

00:02:49.000 Just don't put on your makeup and you'll find time.

00:02:52.300 Because they always find time to put on makeup.

00:02:54.560 But they ain't going to five times for like, how long does it take to put on makeup?

00:02:57.860 How long does it take to have sex?

00:02:59.120 What, five, ten minutes?

00:02:59.940 What about when they're pregnant?

00:03:04.580 That's the best sex.

00:03:06.120 That is the best sex when you're pregnant.

00:03:07.740 I think it depends on how your pregnancy is going.

00:03:09.760 Yes.

00:03:09.980 If you're really ill and you're on bed rest.

00:03:11.460 Not if you're sick.

00:03:11.940 Obviously.

00:03:12.900 Obviously, if you're sick, that's an exception.

00:03:15.160 I'm not going to say that the man's going to say, hey, you're sick.

00:03:17.320 Let's have sex.

00:03:18.300 And you're going to say, no, he's going to say, because we got.

00:03:20.220 I'm talking about.

00:03:21.600 In general.

00:03:22.040 Every day.

00:03:22.680 In general.

00:03:23.340 What about a headache?

00:03:25.740 What about a headache?

00:03:26.820 That is the biggest lie.

00:03:28.060 After that last show that I was on here, right?

00:03:31.080 The biggest lie gets rid of a headache.

00:03:32.500 It does.

00:03:32.680 No, as in the biggest lie that women say is, oh, I'm part tonight.

00:03:36.080 I have a headache.

00:03:36.720 Well, then men should know that sex gets rid of a headache.

00:03:39.320 Sex relieves pain.

00:03:41.180 So you would accept that.

00:03:42.620 You see, there's a lady.

00:03:44.160 And she confirms it.

00:03:45.440 Aunty, I have a question.

00:03:46.600 I'm not saying it's me.

00:03:47.420 But how about for the women that don't enjoy it or like sex?

00:03:50.420 Women don't have a man.

00:03:51.280 Or allow your man to go and find a woman.

00:03:54.820 If you want to be a housewife without sex, allow him to step out and have sex.

00:03:58.840 Because you can't just get, you can't tie down a man and then once you put the ring on your finger and say, sorry, I don't like it no more.

00:04:04.240 What if you turn around and say to you, sorry, I don't like you no more?

00:04:07.000 That's a load of rubbish.

00:04:08.080 Every woman ain't having sex with you.

00:04:09.800 Leave her.

00:04:10.200 What if sex isn't like the main thing in a relationship?

00:04:14.440 What?

00:04:14.960 What kind of relationship is that?

00:04:16.260 It's not the main thing, but it's extremely important.

00:04:18.940 You need to be connected on a deeper level.

00:04:20.020 Listen, right, after your children, it's sex with your man.

00:04:22.600 Okay.

00:04:22.980 Yeah, you need sex to be healthy.

00:04:24.640 What if the guy doesn't want to have sex with the girl?

00:04:26.840 Oh my gosh.

00:04:27.420 Well, then he's getting it.

00:04:28.240 He's dead, isn't he?

00:04:29.020 He can't be alive.

00:04:30.040 He's got to be dead.

00:04:31.140 He's got to be dead.

00:04:32.480 He can't be alive.

00:04:33.400 He's got to be a corpse.

00:04:34.180 I feel like women have a higher sex drive anyway, naturally.

00:04:37.100 So why do they keep on pretending like they don't and don't free it up more often?

00:04:40.080 I don't know.

00:04:40.640 That's not me though.

00:04:41.360 That's my issue.

00:04:42.760 I mean, because the men aren't satisfying the women.

00:04:44.260 That's why they come up with excuses.

00:04:46.060 Oh, please.

00:04:46.700 When you find the right guy that actually does what he needs to do, then you have to be successful.

00:04:49.180 How can you say that a man is not satisfying you when people have opened their legs and you

00:04:53.800 won't say to the man, men need tips sometimes.

00:04:56.320 Help him out.

00:04:57.480 As I say, help out a brother.

00:04:58.400 Yeah, but...

00:04:58.900 Do you know what I mean?

00:04:59.460 The women don't always know what they're doing.

00:05:01.320 They say, oh, men.

00:05:01.980 What?

00:05:02.220 The women don't always know what they're doing?

00:05:03.340 The men don't always know what the women is.

00:05:04.680 So the women need to help them.

00:05:06.700 Listen, right.

00:05:07.440 If you're having bad sex, it's the woman's fault because she knows her body.

00:05:10.700 The man knows it.

00:05:11.340 It's just all hanging out.

00:05:12.100 He can bang it against some.

00:05:13.120 He can get an ard on.

00:05:14.040 Do you know what I mean?

00:05:14.680 But the women know what they like.

00:05:16.060 So as far as...

00:05:16.600 Not bag it, but you know what I mean.

00:05:17.740 But the women, they know what they want.

00:05:22.260 It's more internal.

00:05:23.200 You know what I mean?

00:05:23.520 There's more bits and pieces to fiddle around with.

00:05:25.360 Help out the man.

00:05:26.220 You need to teach him not to do what you like.

00:05:28.580 If it's bad sex, it's the woman's fault.

00:05:30.420 But even guys can be like, guys don't like certain things.

00:05:32.980 So as a guy, you tell the woman...

00:05:34.540 It's simple to make a guy not, bruv.

00:05:36.120 No, yeah, obviously.

00:05:37.440 But I think the best thing is for both of you to explore what you like.

00:05:42.700 And tighten your pelvic floors, women.

00:05:44.600 Tighten your pelvic floors.

00:05:45.920 Get the grip in there.

00:05:48.480 Explain to each other what you like and what makes you happy.

00:05:53.020 And then sex will be great.

00:05:54.240 There's nothing stopping it.

00:05:55.420 The only person stopping it is you by not saying anything.

00:05:57.740 That's right.

00:05:58.140 The only person that can stop you from having fun is you.

00:06:00.620 So, auntie, is this your first relationship?

00:06:03.900 No.

00:06:04.720 It's the longest though because it's the most sexiest.

00:06:06.960 Okay.

00:06:07.900 So what happened with your previous relationship?

00:06:09.940 Like, why did they break up or end or...

00:06:11.660 She told the two cheated.

00:06:12.800 Yeah, she said with the bus driver.

00:06:14.660 But this one, yeah, if they cheat, if they're abusive.

00:06:17.440 But this one's a lifer.

00:06:19.500 So do you feel like women are to blame if a man cheats?

00:06:22.300 No.

00:06:22.900 I don't think the women are to blame if a man cheats.

00:06:24.700 I feel women are to blame if they keep on staying with the man

00:06:27.080 and then complaining that he cheats.

00:06:28.860 If a man cheats, he don't like it, get rid of him.

00:06:31.500 If you stay with him and he continues cheating, shut up about it.

00:06:34.760 So would a man cheat because you were offering him good sex?

00:06:38.780 Yes, a man would cheat if he wants to cheat.

00:06:41.780 I've just found one that doesn't.

00:06:43.180 No matter what, you do.

00:06:43.880 I've just found one that doesn't.

00:06:45.280 There's literally nothing you can do to stop him.

00:06:47.100 No, but I've found one that doesn't.

00:06:48.540 They're the rarity, but they're out there.

00:06:51.080 So if you were, like, just say, the traditional good woman,

00:06:53.840 why did the man cheat or what happened?

00:06:56.040 That's a traditional woman.

00:06:57.160 I've got nothing to do with his dick.

00:06:58.500 He does what he likes with it.

00:07:00.600 As a traditional woman, how can I say,

00:07:03.980 the men will tell you it doesn't matter.

00:07:05.800 It's not, I didn't take it personal.

00:07:07.420 It's not about, oh, they're in love with this woman.

00:07:09.760 That's what, it's just like, as I heard a young man say,

00:07:12.600 they've got a nut to bust and they did.

00:07:14.760 That's it.

00:07:15.220 But why would he not bust it with you?

00:07:16.920 Maybe you weren't there at the time.

00:07:18.420 You could have been at work.

00:07:19.280 She was hard and there.

00:07:20.700 She was hard and available.

00:07:22.380 That's what I'm saying.

00:07:23.160 You were there, right?

00:07:23.640 Like Eddie was saying earlier,

00:07:25.420 sex is different for guys than it is for girls.

00:07:27.560 We, not all girls, some girls can just have sex,

00:07:30.380 but most girls have an emotional level to it,

00:07:32.640 whereas guys can just bust a nut to anybody.

00:07:34.620 But didn't you notice that?

00:07:35.260 It doesn't matter whether they're your girlfriend or not.

00:07:37.520 I didn't take it personally when they cheated on me,

00:07:39.640 because shit happens.

00:07:41.500 Right, if he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat.

00:07:43.060 There's nothing you can do to stop it.

00:07:44.160 And often the guys in the cheat of a girl

00:07:45.640 that doesn't even look as good as his main girls are.

00:07:47.280 That's how you know a brother's a dog.

00:07:50.740 When this girl's not, it's like, cool.

00:07:52.140 If the girl's nicer, then you can kind of validate,

00:07:54.660 all right, cool, it makes sense.

00:07:55.800 But more time, it's just, she was there,

00:07:58.040 right place, right time, right circumstances,

00:07:59.960 and shit went left.

00:08:01.060 And I'm not advocating for it.

00:08:02.340 I'm not advocating for it.

00:08:04.580 Like I said, I say, modern day men need discipline.

00:08:07.240 Do boys ever look back and think,

00:08:09.060 oh, you know what?

00:08:09.700 My girl's actually really pretty.

00:08:11.160 Why did I cheat with this ugly girl?

00:08:12.440 Of course, as soon as they bust a nut,

00:08:13.780 they feed that straight away.

00:08:14.840 How do boys even get hard over that girl?

00:08:18.720 A man who bust a nut and then take you on holiday,

00:08:21.020 that's how you know it's a mad thing.

00:08:22.440 He's not buying your bare shit.

00:08:24.800 That's how much he loves you.

00:08:26.760 That's how much he loves you.

00:08:28.100 Because as soon as he bust that nut,

00:08:29.420 he's like, do you know what?

00:08:30.400 I miss my babes.

00:08:31.840 Oh, true love.

00:08:34.260 It's the worst day when you realise

00:08:35.760 you have to worry about ugly girls too.

00:08:37.400 You're like, I'm sorry.

00:08:39.640 But like Kyle said,

00:08:41.460 women don't like 8% of men.

00:08:43.180 Men don't have that standard.

00:08:44.460 They just...

00:08:45.100 They're like 50.

00:08:46.180 They swipe right on dating apps

00:08:47.220 around 50% of the time.

00:08:48.760 Yeah, they would probably just...

00:08:50.060 That's swiping.

00:08:51.040 But if the woman's in front of them,

00:08:52.920 that goes up to 80, 90%.

00:08:54.680 Antti, what did you say earlier?

00:08:57.460 You said if the guy turns the girl down for sex,

00:09:00.300 he should be dead.

00:09:01.660 Is there a...

00:09:02.120 She'll kill him?

00:09:02.880 Yeah, but...

00:09:03.200 No, I mean...

00:09:03.840 Okay, go, go.

00:09:04.400 I wouldn't...

00:09:05.760 There's got to be something wrong with the girl

00:09:06.880 because I can't see no man turning down a woman.

00:09:08.660 That's why I said he must be like a corpse.

00:09:10.220 He himself must be dead.

00:09:11.680 Nah, I don't disagree with that.

00:09:13.100 It's got to be something that's...

00:09:16.180 Maybe it's a...

00:09:17.200 She smell, I don't know.

00:09:18.600 Maybe it's...

00:09:19.140 Maybe he might add a stamina.

00:09:22.180 Maybe he's to believe.

00:09:23.240 Nah, nah, nah.

00:09:24.200 This is where I have to come in

00:09:25.480 because, all right, cool.

00:09:27.160 I believe fundamentally

00:09:28.480 that men need to learn sexual discipline, yeah?

00:09:30.500 To not be a dog in doggy situation.

00:09:33.520 So for me personally,

00:09:34.320 I took a year out of sex

00:09:35.440 to learn sexual discipline

00:09:36.820 just so I could have the power to say no

00:09:38.700 when the time was right.

00:09:40.040 So there is times when I've got a girl in bed

00:09:42.080 and she said,

00:09:44.200 look, I'm going to come over,

00:09:45.000 we're going to watch a movie.

00:09:46.480 Before, I probably would have tried to make a move.

00:09:48.280 Now we're genuinely just going to watch a movie

00:09:49.800 because I've learned sexual discipline.

00:09:51.320 I think that's important.

00:09:52.700 But not every guy has been a very small minority.

00:09:56.360 I got invited onto a date

00:09:58.120 and they said, where do you want to go?

00:09:59.520 And I said, I want to go to the movies.

00:10:01.480 And because I don't have people in front of me,

00:10:03.820 so I just chose the back, the back row.

00:10:06.480 Me not thinking now,

00:10:07.680 we're older people, back row.

00:10:10.100 I was like, what are you talking about?

00:10:11.960 What are you doing?

00:10:12.900 He goes, oh, but I thought,

00:10:13.740 I said, listen, all right,

00:10:14.540 I want to come to watch the movie.

00:10:15.920 That's what I'm going to do.

00:10:16.680 I want to watch the movie.

00:10:18.020 It's about the movie.

00:10:18.840 I said, I've got a house there

00:10:19.580 if I want to go back to.

00:10:20.980 But no, all this Netflix and chill, no.

00:10:23.440 No, that's what I'm saying.

00:10:24.380 So sexual discipline for a man

00:10:25.540 is important to mitigate those situations.

00:10:27.480 Was that with your partner?

00:10:28.040 For both, for both.

00:10:29.380 Was that with your partner at the cinema?

00:10:30.420 No, it was a friend.

00:10:31.940 It was just a date.

00:10:32.620 It was supposed to be a date.

00:10:33.540 Okay.

00:10:34.060 Like an old-fashioned date.

00:10:35.760 Like back years ago.

00:10:37.020 An old-fashioned date.

00:10:37.820 32 years ago.

00:10:38.580 You trying to check me?

00:10:39.460 No, no, no.

00:10:39.840 I'm just asking you.

00:10:41.440 You trying to check me?

00:10:42.500 Don't fuck it on here though.

00:10:43.780 I'm 54 years old.

00:10:45.020 No, no, no.

00:10:45.360 You're trying to check me.

00:10:46.600 My son's 36.

00:10:47.660 What else you want to know?

00:10:48.440 No, I'm saying,

00:10:49.180 was this date before you met your this partner?

00:10:52.180 Yes.

00:10:52.660 Okay, so this was when you were dating.

00:10:54.320 And what have I said to you

00:10:55.120 that it was a date when I had my partner?

00:10:57.300 No, I'm not.

00:10:58.100 I'm just asking.

00:10:59.080 Okay then.

00:10:59.780 No, I'm just asking.

00:11:00.660 Does it make a difference?

00:11:02.620 It should though, shouldn't it?

00:11:03.480 Think about it.

00:11:04.180 It should.

00:11:05.400 It should.

00:11:06.480 No, I'm just asking.

00:11:07.300 No, but you're asking for a stupid reason

00:11:08.720 because it should.

00:11:09.500 No, I'm asking.

00:11:10.000 Because what you're asking

00:11:10.700 don't make no difference.

00:11:11.400 No, because you said old people

00:11:12.900 because obviously I'm trying to say

00:11:14.380 because you said something about old people.

00:11:16.420 My son's 36 so I've got to say that, isn't it?

00:11:18.960 No, no, but I just thought that you went like

00:11:21.140 obviously if you went in your even early 20s

00:11:23.140 you're not old.

00:11:23.780 Do you get what I mean?

00:11:24.440 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:24.700 It's only because you said as old people

00:11:26.680 you know you didn't know what the back was.

00:11:28.380 So I thought it was 20s not old.

00:11:30.380 Do you get what I mean?

00:11:30.880 That's what I was asking you.

00:11:32.480 Yeah, like no.

00:11:33.380 Would it make a difference?

00:11:34.320 You still not get what I'm saying.

00:11:36.100 It should make a difference.

00:11:37.100 It should make a difference.

00:11:37.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:38.420 Why are you asking the question basically?

00:11:40.100 The answer for you shouldn't be asked.

00:11:41.280 Do you just want to check my numbers?

00:11:42.440 Even wrong.

00:11:43.120 Like as old people something.

00:11:44.600 No, what I'm saying is that

00:11:45.340 you're missing the point.

00:11:47.080 Because if I'm saying to you

00:11:48.260 that I'm in a relationship

00:11:49.160 and I've been on a date

00:11:50.060 you're not interested in that.

00:11:51.280 No, because you're saying

00:11:52.000 you're a traditional woman

00:11:52.640 so I know that's not the fact.

00:11:53.920 I'm going to be a traditional woman.

00:11:55.160 I'm not married.

00:11:55.740 I'm having sex regular.

00:11:57.260 How's that traditional?

00:11:58.020 I thought you were traditional.

00:11:59.640 Sorry.

00:12:00.020 I can't be.

00:12:00.460 No, no, no, no, no.

00:12:01.280 That's not you.

00:12:01.780 No, sorry.

00:12:02.540 Okay.

00:12:02.700 I don't come for you

00:12:03.140 as traditional at all.

00:12:04.200 I would not say that.

00:12:04.920 I would say that I'm old

00:12:05.960 and I've got a bit of wisdom.

00:12:07.780 Would you say you're a traditional woman?

00:12:08.960 No, I'm not traditional.

00:12:10.300 I'm not married.

00:12:11.040 How can I be traditional?

00:12:12.120 I'm having sex outside of marriage.

00:12:13.620 How can I be traditional?

00:12:14.840 Okay, because when you were saying

00:12:15.940 Because traditional means

00:12:17.140 that you have sex in a marriage

00:12:19.600 and that you're married.

00:12:20.680 That's traditional.

00:12:21.620 So don't get confused.

00:12:22.760 You can behave traditional.

00:12:24.480 I might behave traditional

00:12:26.080 but I'm not traditional.

00:12:27.480 Sorry, my apologies.

00:12:27.980 And I'm not a hypocrite either.

00:12:29.380 No, my apologies.

00:12:30.080 Only because obviously

00:12:30.800 when you were saying

00:12:31.320 being a traditional woman is better

00:12:32.700 or whatever,

00:12:33.120 I thought you were.

00:12:34.260 No, no, no.

00:12:34.680 I was asking you

00:12:35.520 because when you said

00:12:36.540 about the modern and the traditional.

00:12:37.700 Okay, no, no.

00:12:38.240 Sorry, my apologies.

00:12:38.980 Because you stand a dance

00:12:39.980 of being traditional

00:12:40.760 because you're married.

00:12:42.080 But as far as I'm concerned,

00:12:43.560 when you're not married,

00:12:44.480 when you get divorced

00:12:45.300 and you move on,

00:12:45.960 you're not traditional no more.

00:12:47.220 That's the difference

00:12:47.860 between you and me.

00:12:49.180 You've got a chance

00:12:49.940 to be traditional

00:12:50.580 because you've got a ring.

00:12:52.420 If you get divorced now,

00:12:53.480 in my view,

00:12:53.960 you're not traditional anymore

00:12:54.900 because you're divorced.

00:12:56.380 So between you and me,

00:12:57.380 I would say

00:12:57.940 traditional values

00:12:59.300 doesn't make you traditional.

00:13:01.440 Can you be traditional again

00:13:02.600 even after a divorce

00:13:04.200 and you get married again?

00:13:05.460 Will you then be a traditional woman?

00:13:06.180 No, traditional is

00:13:07.200 you're a virgin

00:13:07.920 and then you get married.

00:13:09.120 Okay.

00:13:09.380 That's traditional.

00:13:10.620 If you didn't do that,

00:13:11.420 you're not traditional.

00:13:12.340 Okay.

00:13:12.760 I'm not traditional.

00:13:13.640 I have traditional values

00:13:14.840 as in I prefer like old school.

00:13:17.180 I don't like all,

00:13:17.980 you know,

00:13:18.240 the dating apps

00:13:18.980 and stuff like that.

00:13:19.700 I personally don't do them

00:13:20.920 but I wouldn't be able to say

00:13:22.300 I am traditional

00:13:23.460 because I've had sex

00:13:25.080 out of wedlock.

00:13:25.820 I've had kids out of wedlock.

00:13:27.240 You know,

00:13:27.500 I'm not with the dad.

00:13:29.380 I am,

00:13:29.840 I have a very modern life

00:13:31.500 but I just,

00:13:32.520 deep down,

00:13:33.140 it's when it comes to love

00:13:34.600 and stuff like that

00:13:35.460 and values,

00:13:36.200 it's, you know,

00:13:37.320 what our parents grew up with

00:13:38.540 or our grandparents.

00:13:39.260 You've got a traditional foundation.

00:13:39.700 Yeah, like,

00:13:40.600 you know,

00:13:40.940 back in the 1900s,

00:13:42.560 whatever.

00:13:42.800 So I have a question

00:13:54.600 for the panel

00:13:55.280 for the ladies actually.

00:13:58.020 If a guy had everything you wanted,

00:14:00.440 could you look past him

00:14:01.900 stepping out

00:14:02.460 from time to time?

00:14:04.180 Not,

00:14:04.460 not another wife,

00:14:05.360 not another like main chick,

00:14:06.720 just like hoes

00:14:08.000 here and there.

00:14:08.820 No.

00:14:10.940 No.

00:14:11.340 I don't know.

00:14:12.340 I don't know.

00:14:14.040 That should be such an easy yes.

00:14:16.000 No,

00:14:16.340 it's not easy though.

00:14:17.260 I don't know.

00:14:18.440 You need to weigh up

00:14:19.660 what options you would have

00:14:21.380 because, yeah,

00:14:22.100 he might be cheating

00:14:22.740 every now and then.

00:14:23.700 Of course,

00:14:24.040 you don't want that.

00:14:24.640 You want him to be with you

00:14:25.520 but you have everything you want

00:14:27.360 but also,

00:14:28.940 getting everything you want

00:14:30.120 should you then sacrifice

00:14:31.180 happiness

00:14:32.080 that is cheating on you.

00:14:33.620 You know,

00:14:33.980 wouldn't you rather be

00:14:34.840 with someone

00:14:35.340 that isn't cheating on you

00:14:36.680 and maybe gives you

00:14:37.980 some things you want

00:14:38.820 and then you work

00:14:39.760 for the other things

00:14:40.780 you want yourself.

00:14:42.800 See,

00:14:43.280 I would rather have

00:14:43.980 my partner

00:14:44.980 have a full partner

00:14:46.000 than have women

00:14:47.120 he's just...

00:14:47.460 It's not the question.

00:14:48.900 Yeah,

00:14:49.120 no,

00:14:49.340 I wouldn't.

00:14:49.640 You wouldn't do that.

00:14:50.480 I wouldn't respect that.

00:14:51.440 No.

00:14:51.500 Okay.

00:14:52.040 What about you two?

00:14:52.640 I think,

00:14:56.080 I don't know,

00:14:57.000 like...

00:14:59.120 See,

00:14:59.540 in this day and age,

00:15:00.620 I feel like

00:15:01.400 the realest

00:15:02.660 no bullshit thing is

00:15:04.020 whether a man has money,

00:15:05.460 whether he has a Porsche,

00:15:06.540 whether he has whatever,

00:15:07.500 he's going to cheat.

00:15:08.560 That's the...

00:15:09.060 Like,

00:15:09.580 if I'd be lying to myself

00:15:11.340 if I said

00:15:12.600 to this question

00:15:14.100 that I was going to say,

00:15:15.040 you know,

00:15:15.300 oh no,

00:15:15.760 I'd rather have a man

00:15:17.100 that doesn't cheat

00:15:17.680 because if I go to the man

00:15:19.540 that I think doesn't cheat,

00:15:20.660 he's going to cheat as well.

00:15:21.720 So they all cheat.

00:15:23.240 That's the realest.

00:15:24.060 Like,

00:15:24.160 all this fairytale bullshit,

00:15:26.660 it's not real.

00:15:28.080 It's not.

00:15:28.600 It's very rare.

00:15:29.620 It's very rare.

00:15:30.940 It's like 0.01111%.

00:15:32.880 Like,

00:15:33.420 it's...

00:15:34.180 Well,

00:15:34.200 Arnie has that.

00:15:34.660 Arnie has that 0.01111%.

00:15:36.700 Yeah,

00:15:37.000 but like,

00:15:37.580 Arnie's generation,

00:15:39.260 she's that bit older

00:15:40.540 where it makes that difference.

00:15:41.680 Do you get it?

00:15:42.160 In our generation,

00:15:43.180 I'm 23.

00:15:44.180 I was born in 1999,

00:15:45.320 yeah?

00:15:46.060 It's very,

00:15:47.540 very,

00:15:48.000 very rare

00:15:48.700 that I'm going to find

00:15:50.020 a man that's not going to cheat.

00:15:51.100 It's not.

00:15:51.520 It's not.

00:15:52.020 It's not.

00:15:52.060 It is.

00:15:52.520 It is.

00:15:53.140 It is.

00:15:53.400 It's not.

00:15:53.900 It's not.

00:15:54.400 It's not.

00:15:54.900 It's not.

00:15:55.400 It's not.

00:15:55.940 It's not.

00:15:55.960 It's not.

00:15:57.000 It's not.

00:15:57.900 It's not.

00:15:58.080 Wait,

00:15:58.620 it's not.

00:15:59.120 It's not rare.

00:16:00.120 One out of three men are virgins

00:16:01.180 or haven't had sex in the past year.

00:16:02.600 But it's just the men of.

00:16:04.020 What place is the study from?

00:16:09.080 As in the one in three guys?

00:16:10.440 Like,

00:16:10.560 is it just in England

00:16:11.360 or is it the whole?

00:16:12.360 I think the BBC did that study,

00:16:13.600 you know?

00:16:14.440 I don't remember off the top of my head.

00:16:16.500 But London is a very different place.

00:16:19.420 Don't get me wrong,

00:16:20.120 it doesn't get better outside of London.

00:16:21.620 And I just say this.

00:16:22.420 I would argue that in London,

00:16:24.880 it's the same.

00:16:25.460 You're in a big city.

00:16:26.340 Hypergamy is the thing.

00:16:27.540 Like,

00:16:27.800 I think when people have more options,

00:16:30.540 like women sleep with a smaller

00:16:31.780 and smaller percentage of guys

00:16:33.080 when they have more access.

00:16:34.560 Yeah,

00:16:34.700 but like in the countryside,

00:16:37.280 the men are a lot more traditional.

00:16:38.580 Women are a lot more like,

00:16:39.760 it's very,

00:16:40.380 I've come from Lincolnshire

00:16:42.500 and I can promise you now

00:16:43.780 it is 10 times worse over there.

00:16:46.960 It's not even city centre.

00:16:48.160 Like,

00:16:48.400 we're out by the seaside

00:16:49.620 or you can be out in the sticks

00:16:50.880 like in the middle of nowhere.

00:16:52.160 It is so bad over there.

00:16:53.520 Yeah,

00:16:53.740 I don't necessarily like think all men cheat.

00:16:56.480 Like,

00:16:56.660 my dad's like top 1% earner.

00:16:58.360 He never cheated on my mom.

00:16:59.540 It's there.

00:17:00.000 But like,

00:17:00.680 I just think it's rare.

00:17:03.480 And so,

00:17:04.100 like,

00:17:04.340 you kind of have to be realistic

00:17:05.520 with what your values are.

00:17:07.640 And especially if you want a guy

00:17:08.600 that's like really good looking

00:17:09.660 and gets girls,

00:17:10.720 like,

00:17:11.160 can I just say this?

00:17:12.240 Can I just say this?

00:17:13.220 I just want to say this one thing.

00:17:14.820 No one here,

00:17:15.860 other than auntie,

00:17:17.440 maybe Eddie,

00:17:18.420 just about myself,

00:17:19.540 just about,

00:17:20.680 has the life experience

00:17:22.200 to say

00:17:23.700 that all men cheat

00:17:25.280 because you're 23.

00:17:27.360 When you're 23,

00:17:28.340 you've hardly lived an adult life.

00:17:31.040 I think that-

00:17:31.520 I haven't been this year.

00:17:32.760 I'm saying for my,

00:17:34.080 generation,

00:17:35.120 do you get it?

00:17:36.060 Yeah,

00:17:36.260 I do get it,

00:17:36.840 but you're 23.

00:17:37.880 That's the thing.

00:17:38.840 So to say that all men cheat at 23,

00:17:41.500 it's like you're setting yourself up.

00:17:43.900 I'm just not setting myself a dream.

00:17:45.960 Can I just say that,

00:17:47.940 when Poe asked that question,

00:17:51.540 she said,

00:17:52.040 if a man had everything that you want,

00:17:54.300 straight away people think about money,

00:17:56.080 this,

00:17:56.220 none of that thought about,

00:17:57.660 I'm thinking,

00:17:58.620 can you fix the sink?

00:18:00.060 You know what I mean?

00:18:00.660 Can you wear a plug?

00:18:02.420 Can you fix my car?

00:18:03.660 That's what I was thinking about.

00:18:04.540 I could do that myself.

00:18:05.840 That's the realest.

00:18:06.580 No, no, no.

00:18:07.120 That's when I,

00:18:07.920 I can fix the sink,

00:18:09.380 bro,

00:18:09.540 there's YouTube videos.

00:18:09.840 You know what,

00:18:10.220 I can do it,

00:18:10.820 but I won't.

00:18:11.880 There's plumbers.

00:18:13.180 No,

00:18:13.720 but the first thing I actually thought was,

00:18:16.500 is that everything I want?

00:18:18.220 You see the cheating part,

00:18:19.300 is that something I want?

00:18:20.500 No,

00:18:20.840 it's not.

00:18:21.280 It's not something you should give up your happiness for.

00:18:23.040 That's what I said.

00:18:23.700 The cheating part,

00:18:24.480 is that something I want?

00:18:25.400 The answer is no.

00:18:26.560 Okay,

00:18:27.180 what are the things that I want in a man?

00:18:29.540 These attributes that I like in a man,

00:18:31.760 direction,

00:18:32.880 the way of thinking,

00:18:33.880 the way of leading,

00:18:35.000 these things are rare in men anyway,

00:18:36.700 so I know in myself,

00:18:38.360 if I find a man like that,

00:18:40.000 and he cheats,

00:18:41.320 I'm not going to be feeling it,

00:18:43.280 but who knows?

00:18:44.180 I might just,

00:18:45.420 you know,

00:18:46.580 I might just turn a blind,

00:18:48.080 just because,

00:18:49.220 but,

00:18:50.280 I will say this,

00:18:51.120 when,

00:18:51.540 like what auntie said,

00:18:52.740 when Pearl asked that question,

00:18:54.520 a lot of people think of materialistic things,

00:18:57.580 and that's the point,

00:18:58.600 isn't it?

00:18:59.400 What can he buy me?

00:19:00.800 Is he giving me a nice house?

00:19:02.780 Is he giving me the ability to spend money?

00:19:06.160 Is he giving me financial freedom,

00:19:08.180 without me working for it?

00:19:09.780 Is he fulfilling my entitlement?

00:19:11.740 I understand that's how,

00:19:13.260 obviously it's come across,

00:19:14.140 I've said Porsche,

00:19:14.820 this,

00:19:14.960 that.

00:19:15.040 No,

00:19:15.220 not you.

00:19:15.960 No,

00:19:16.180 just in general,

00:19:16.840 in general,

00:19:17.360 like the generation in general,

00:19:18.900 it was always straight away money,

00:19:20.520 but like,

00:19:21.280 see,

00:19:21.760 see me as personally,

00:19:23.540 I make my own money,

00:19:24.840 I've got my own car,

00:19:26.260 do you get,

00:19:26.500 all these things that a man,

00:19:27.820 I'm asking for,

00:19:28.640 I've got myself.

00:19:29.560 Yeah.

00:19:29.800 It's not like,

00:19:30.400 I'm a broke girl,

00:19:31.220 I sit at home,

00:19:32.200 and I'm bummy,

00:19:33.140 I claim universal credit,

00:19:34.740 and I'm asking for a man with a fucking Ferrari.

00:19:36.940 Yeah.

00:19:37.200 Not at all.

00:19:37.920 I've got all this shit myself,

00:19:39.680 so,

00:19:40.140 why is it that,

00:19:41.080 you know,

00:19:41.340 I can't ask for a man,

00:19:42.720 with the same level as me,

00:19:44.780 as well as,

00:19:45.420 I feel like it goes without,

00:19:46.580 like why do I have to say,

00:19:47.480 I want love from a man in a relationship,

00:19:49.820 I feel like it should go without saying,

00:19:51.600 all these attributes,

00:19:52.640 like,

00:19:52.820 that's,

00:19:53.300 like loyalty,

00:19:54.180 all of that.

00:19:54.900 That is a relationship,

00:19:56.080 isn't it?

00:19:56.480 Trust,

00:19:56.960 loyalty.

00:19:57.740 But it's like the bare minimum,

00:19:59.400 do you get like,

00:19:59.960 why should I have to ask for that?

00:20:01.000 Because the standard,

00:20:02.060 you don't.

00:20:02.840 The standard has been,

00:20:03.860 the standard has been changed.

00:20:05.260 Society has made you think that you have to.

00:20:07.080 The standard has been changed,

00:20:08.960 and outlined by a younger generation of women,

00:20:12.020 that the standard is,

00:20:13.440 you have to have materialistic things,

00:20:16.340 and this is what happens.

00:20:17.320 Men adjust themselves,

00:20:19.500 to accommodate the women in society,

00:20:22.000 because their biological response is to breed.

00:20:25.700 Women get BBLs and surgery,

00:20:27.980 for men to look at them,

00:20:28.980 but they'll say it's for them.

00:20:30.140 And the men,

00:20:30.480 no,

00:20:30.920 because they play you.

00:20:31.720 No, you did it because you were a guy's attention.

00:20:33.720 You're playing into a man's biology,

00:20:35.820 but then you're angry when a man talks to you,

00:20:37.700 that you don't like,

00:20:39.000 right?

00:20:39.460 So if it was Drake or whoever,

00:20:41.060 you'd be happy,

00:20:41.760 but if it's the average guy down the road,

00:20:43.760 driving a,

00:20:44.720 I don't know what,

00:20:45.600 or riding a bike,

00:20:46.940 it's not for you,

00:20:47.740 do you know what?

00:20:48.300 Because of that,

00:20:48.900 because of that,

00:20:50.240 I truly believe now,

00:20:51.540 I've changed my mind,

00:20:52.300 yeah?

00:20:53.100 Most women today,

00:20:54.840 want to be cheated on.

00:20:56.420 I'm running with that.

00:20:57.480 I'm running with that.

00:20:58.160 I'm running with that because,

00:20:59.660 because what literally sitting here and listening to what women say about it,

00:21:04.380 well,

00:21:04.500 would you accept a guy that wouldn't cheat on you,

00:21:06.020 but we'll think about materialistic things,

00:21:07.820 et cetera.

00:21:08.640 There is pure men that would know,

00:21:11.980 that make money,

00:21:12.760 bearing in mind,

00:21:13.180 there's tech nerds,

00:21:14.000 that these guys got money.

00:21:15.160 Yeah,

00:21:15.500 but they might not have the alpha and stuff like that.

00:21:18.620 But you wouldn't,

00:21:19.260 these guys don't even register on your Richter scale.

00:21:20.860 You can't even see them,

00:21:22.580 but then you want to go for the guy who you know is going to have bad girl on him,

00:21:26.460 who you know is going to cheat on you,

00:21:27.820 but for some reason,

00:21:28.580 you're the special one that is going to stay loyal to you.

00:21:30.680 That is just pure delusion.

00:21:32.060 You want to be cheated on.

00:21:33.120 And then when he gets rid of you,

00:21:34.880 then they want the geek.

00:21:35.620 We can't say we don't like it if we pick these guys,

00:21:44.960 because there's guys that won't do it,

00:21:46.120 but we don't pick them.

00:21:47.560 And I say this because I've talked to probably what,

00:21:49.980 hundreds of women at this point,

00:21:51.540 and the amount that have a toxic ex,

00:21:54.420 it's like all of them.

00:21:55.920 Everyone's got one.

00:21:57.100 But it's their fault.

00:21:59.060 Yeah,

00:21:59.800 that's what they say.

00:22:01.120 I think the balance comes into play with the tech nerds or whatever.

00:22:05.960 They don't even have the confidence to talk to women,

00:22:08.420 and they're not in the forefront.

00:22:09.040 Yeah,

00:22:09.180 but is that because we've made them feel like that?

00:22:12.040 Some people's personalities are introverted.

00:22:14.080 I was just going to say,

00:22:15.080 in this society,

00:22:16.200 we reward bad behavior.

00:22:18.100 Think about it.

00:22:19.340 I'll give a prime example.

00:22:21.400 Jeremy Meeks,

00:22:22.340 criminal.

00:22:23.440 Oh,

00:22:23.620 his mugshot came out.

00:22:24.660 Do you remember this?

00:22:25.260 This guy's mugshot came out.

00:22:26.720 All of a sudden,

00:22:27.300 all these girls are like,

00:22:27.820 oh,

00:22:27.960 he's so hot.

00:22:29.300 But he's a bad person.

00:22:30.820 This guy came out of prison

00:22:31.960 and became a model,

00:22:32.940 and now he's like top level.

00:22:34.200 non-felons have 30% more children than non-felons.

00:22:36.600 So when girls say they like nice guys,

00:22:38.100 they don't.

00:22:40.540 I think we've made nice guys

00:22:43.080 to feel like they don't have the confidence

00:22:45.560 to come up and talk to us

00:22:46.620 because we've made them feel like that

00:22:47.960 because we're constantly choosing the bad guys.

00:22:50.540 Some of the nice guys

00:22:53.540 don't even want the modern women.

00:22:55.200 They just had enough of them.

00:22:57.540 What's it called?

00:22:58.080 Men gone their own way.

00:22:59.380 Oh,

00:22:59.480 yeah,

00:22:59.680 big towel.

00:23:00.220 That's it.

00:23:00.860 And they just go

00:23:01.520 because they've had enough.

00:23:02.540 I think some nice guys know

00:23:04.800 that some women can be absolutely.

00:23:06.800 But wait,

00:23:07.280 quickly,

00:23:07.580 you said the onus isn't on...

00:23:09.260 I don't think the onus

00:23:10.500 of guys who don't have confidence

00:23:12.760 to speak to women

00:23:13.220 is on women.

00:23:14.000 That is your personality trait,

00:23:15.720 aren't you?

00:23:16.040 That's got nothing to do with me.

00:23:17.140 I feel like we're nice guys.

00:23:18.460 I think it can be bad.

00:23:19.200 I think this conversation

00:23:21.240 is that we tend to generalise a lot.

00:23:24.420 And I get it

00:23:25.480 because I guess that's what is in your view.

00:23:27.700 So it's easy to generalise.

00:23:29.080 But I think there are nice guys who...

00:23:31.340 Because really and truly,

00:23:31.960 it's not like there's a lot of nice guys

00:23:34.220 that are single.

00:23:35.080 Yeah.

00:23:35.480 They're getting girls.

00:23:36.440 Yeah,

00:23:36.660 and some of them are very committed

00:23:37.880 in relationships.

00:23:38.540 I think it's easy for us

00:23:41.260 to obviously say that,

00:23:41.980 you know,

00:23:42.340 we can talk about certain type of girls

00:23:43.600 and blah, blah,

00:23:44.120 because that's really what's in our view.

00:23:46.220 But I don't believe...

00:23:46.960 If I meet a guy who's shy and whatever,

00:23:49.200 I don't believe that women have...

00:23:51.200 I think his personality anyway,

00:23:54.940 he's an introvert

00:23:55.980 or he's shy anyway.

00:23:57.480 And maybe that is heightened

00:23:58.440 when he meets other women

00:23:59.340 and he doesn't have the confidence.

00:24:01.180 But I don't think that onus is on women

00:24:02.660 making him shy.

00:24:04.880 I don't believe...

00:24:05.440 It's not that onus is on women.

00:24:08.360 It's like we're responsible

00:24:09.420 for the men that we pick.

00:24:11.360 Yeah,

00:24:11.540 I agree with that part.

00:24:12.960 But she was saying how

00:24:13.840 she thinks that guys are

00:24:15.580 like the shy guys.

00:24:17.220 They don't have the confidence

00:24:17.960 to approach women

00:24:18.620 because we need to do that.

00:24:19.740 But it's partially our fault

00:24:22.280 because feminism

00:24:23.040 had this whole Me Too movement.

00:24:24.900 Yeah, that's the one that's true.

00:24:26.020 And so,

00:24:26.640 like,

00:24:27.040 we're complaining,

00:24:27.980 like,

00:24:28.600 they're shy

00:24:29.200 because they don't know

00:24:30.160 if they're going to be Me Too'd

00:24:31.180 if they approach the wrong girl.

00:24:32.620 No, no, seriously.

00:24:33.900 I agree with that.

00:24:34.200 There is,

00:24:34.520 there is,

00:24:34.820 there is,

00:24:35.520 guys, guys, guys.

00:24:36.440 There is a YouTuber

00:24:37.620 that just came out

00:24:38.680 where he approached a girl

00:24:40.140 in public

00:24:40.780 and she literally called

00:24:42.660 the park police on him.

00:24:44.720 And this was in 2022.

00:24:46.160 Yeah,

00:24:46.800 but there was guys

00:24:47.540 that were shy

00:24:48.160 before the Me Too movement started.

00:24:49.960 So what's the excuse?

00:24:50.720 That's why I say it.

00:24:52.400 Wait,

00:24:53.360 how old are you?

00:24:54.260 I'm 27.

00:24:55.180 Like,

00:24:55.460 so,

00:24:55.840 Me Too was what,

00:24:57.160 five,

00:24:57.780 seven years ago?

00:24:58.820 Yeah.

00:24:59.060 How long were you really

00:24:59.740 in the dating game?

00:25:00.560 Yeah,

00:25:00.720 but that's the thing

00:25:01.780 because I've,

00:25:02.540 I've got a lot of life experiences.

00:25:03.820 Okay,

00:25:04.060 actually,

00:25:04.420 I'm going to ask Auntie,

00:25:05.340 do you feel,

00:25:05.560 Auntie,

00:25:06.320 Auntie,

00:25:06.560 do you feel like men

00:25:07.500 approach women more

00:25:08.600 or less now?

00:25:09.700 Can they approach women less now?

00:25:11.620 Because the women look more fierce.

00:25:13.200 They wear more war paint.

00:25:15.660 And because the men are scared.

00:25:18.500 Because nowadays,

00:25:19.740 it takes a couple of rare things to happen

00:25:22.540 for all men to be labeled.

00:25:24.960 So now you don't even know

00:25:26.120 whether to approach a woman or not

00:25:27.680 because you don't know

00:25:28.520 whether she's going to say

00:25:29.400 that you're harassing her,

00:25:30.900 leave her alone.

00:25:32.160 And sometimes you might even just want,

00:25:33.960 a woman might just,

00:25:35.020 a man might just want to say,

00:25:35.980 excuse me,

00:25:36.420 love,

00:25:36.580 do you know the time?

00:25:37.200 No!

00:25:37.520 Another time,

00:25:39.140 check your watch!

00:25:40.380 A girl dropped something

00:25:41.580 and I've gone to give it back.

00:25:42.760 And she gave me some dirty look.

00:25:44.480 I was like,

00:25:45.000 so I took it,

00:25:45.580 I snapped it,

00:25:45.960 it was an oyster card,

00:25:46.560 I snapped and went my way.

00:25:48.240 And that's why a lot of men

00:25:50.780 just don't approach women.

00:25:53.300 I do believe like your personality trait,

00:25:55.400 you can be quite shy and an introvert.

00:25:57.820 Me personally,

00:25:58.540 I'm very,

00:25:59.080 very shy.

00:25:59.700 But when you are in a situation

00:26:02.660 where you feel comfortable,

00:26:03.560 you can come out of your shell.

00:26:05.080 And with some guys,

00:26:06.520 you know,

00:26:06.760 with some girls,

00:26:07.320 they can come out of their shell.

00:26:08.740 Whereas other women have made them feel,

00:26:10.920 no,

00:26:11.400 you stay shy.

00:26:12.980 Women are becoming a little.

00:26:14.020 I don't think that.

00:26:15.760 I think guys will approach you

00:26:17.060 if they feel good about themselves.

00:26:18.400 So if they feel like they're,

00:26:20.020 you know,

00:26:20.540 pushing gym or whatever,

00:26:22.220 to build their own self-confidence,

00:26:24.040 they will do it.

00:26:24.780 I know guys that feel good about themselves.

00:26:26.720 Like,

00:26:26.820 they're like,

00:26:27.200 yeah,

00:26:27.420 I'm good looking,

00:26:28.220 I go to the gym,

00:26:29.180 you know,

00:26:29.400 I'm a nice person.

00:26:30.040 And he won't approach a girl.

00:26:31.240 But he'll look at a girl

00:26:32.260 and be like,

00:26:32.980 no,

00:26:33.160 I won't approach her.

00:26:33.800 Because we,

00:26:34.760 we like,

00:26:35.620 or that girl looks so good.

00:26:37.900 No,

00:26:38.180 no,

00:26:38.400 no.

00:26:39.340 This is the death of femininity.

00:26:42.460 I think a lot more women are masculine

00:26:43.840 because back in the day,

00:26:44.920 women would signal.

00:26:46.260 And even when we had Kit on the other day,

00:26:48.260 he educates women.

00:26:50.040 Yeah,

00:26:50.480 he educates women how to signal,

00:26:52.280 to allow a man to feel comfortable enough

00:26:55.180 to get,

00:26:55.900 to approach a girl for safety of the interest.

00:26:57.480 So maybe that's the problem,

00:26:58.780 Eddie.

00:26:59.120 Maybe the problem is,

00:27:00.160 men aren't actually looking for women's signal

00:27:02.140 before they're approaching.

00:27:03.420 So when a girl is now calling park patrol,

00:27:05.440 it's because she's not signaled to you.

00:27:06.880 She's not showed you she's any interested.

00:27:08.700 You don't know what her relationship status is.

00:27:10.520 And maybe wait for the queues

00:27:11.660 for a woman to now signal.

00:27:12.680 But I also think that women

00:27:14.280 are way less women.

00:27:15.640 jump the gun on that one as well.

00:27:17.200 Can I just say this?

00:27:18.260 Can I say this?

00:27:19.420 I think women embody masculinity more now.

00:27:22.200 Yeah, 100%.

00:27:22.600 No, I'm not saying that.

00:27:23.420 No, no, but look at this.

00:27:24.560 Check this.

00:27:24.960 Go on.

00:27:25.460 I don't know if anyone else uses TFL regularly.

00:27:27.680 Maybe I'm poor.

00:27:28.560 But, you know,

00:27:29.360 go on the tube.

00:27:30.760 You see the advert,

00:27:31.960 I'm staring,

00:27:33.640 harassment.

00:27:34.320 Yeah.

00:27:35.280 So it puts men on edge.

00:27:37.460 Yeah, report.

00:27:38.180 There's a phone number to call

00:27:39.300 who stares at you too long.

00:27:40.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:40.820 No guy's going to want to approach a girl

00:27:43.360 because he's going to be like,

00:27:44.120 No, but if we flip it,

00:27:45.120 to like countries

00:27:45.820 where there isn't that,

00:27:47.260 a lot of men take advantage.

00:27:48.780 So it's not,

00:27:49.540 these aren't put in there for women.

00:27:51.380 Do the majority of men,

00:27:52.820 are the majority of men

00:27:53.580 the men you're describing?

00:27:55.100 Sorry?

00:27:55.520 Are the majority of men

00:27:56.460 the men you're describing?

00:27:57.460 So the men you're saying

00:27:58.000 that take advantage.

00:27:58.500 In a country like where this isn't

00:28:00.420 the social norms

00:28:01.100 where you have to ask them.

00:28:01.760 No, but Martin,

00:28:02.140 is that the majority of men?

00:28:04.540 Sorry,

00:28:04.920 in what?

00:28:05.540 Is that,

00:28:06.360 do you think the majority of,

00:28:07.240 yeah, go on.

00:28:07.800 Do you think the majority of men

00:28:09.000 are doing that

00:28:09.560 in those countries?

00:28:10.400 In those countries?

00:28:11.240 What?

00:28:11.460 Going up to women unsolicited?

00:28:13.340 Yeah, 100%.

00:28:14.240 It's normal to them.

00:28:14.780 100%

00:28:15.160 and they're grabbing girls

00:28:16.100 and they're,

00:28:16.540 you go to like.

00:28:17.320 The majority of men

00:28:18.680 in those countries

00:28:19.280 are grabbing girls.

00:28:20.420 100%.

00:28:20.820 The majority of men

00:28:22.000 in those countries

00:28:22.600 are committing assault.

00:28:23.780 Yes,

00:28:24.340 I've been to countries.

00:28:25.000 That's your view on men?

00:28:26.480 No, no,

00:28:26.960 that's not my view on men.

00:28:27.980 That's cultural differences.

00:28:29.380 In my country even

00:28:30.740 where women's rights

00:28:31.820 are not like,

00:28:32.480 I'm not here saying

00:28:33.640 women are equal to men.

00:28:34.980 I'm saying,

00:28:35.480 but if a woman

00:28:36.020 doesn't want to be touched,

00:28:37.160 don't touch her.

00:28:37.900 That's even a religious side

00:28:39.120 if you don't touch her.

00:28:40.300 I'm with you.

00:28:41.440 Yeah,

00:28:41.720 so in them countries

00:28:42.840 where.

00:28:43.060 What countries?

00:28:43.880 Even parts of Asia,

00:28:45.420 Africa.

00:28:46.080 Can you name them?

00:28:48.140 The countries that I've traveled to.

00:28:49.380 Egypt.

00:28:49.920 Morocco,

00:28:50.440 just say.

00:28:51.000 Morocco.

00:28:52.100 Morocco has a lot up in there.

00:28:53.600 Sorry.

00:28:54.420 Let's say Morocco.

00:28:55.600 I've had men approach me millions

00:28:57.980 and I've said no,

00:28:58.940 no,

00:28:59.220 no.

00:28:59.840 Approaching.

00:29:00.680 No,

00:29:01.000 no,

00:29:01.380 no,

00:29:01.500 no.

00:29:01.580 You said,

00:29:02.140 wait,

00:29:03.020 wait,

00:29:03.240 you said,

00:29:03.620 you said grabbed.

00:29:04.760 They will grab you.

00:29:06.660 Even in Dubai,

00:29:07.480 they grabbed one of my friends

00:29:08.500 and she literally switched.

00:29:09.080 I've been to Dubai.

00:29:09.980 I was fine.

00:29:10.560 I had no issues.

00:29:11.100 Yeah,

00:29:11.280 exactly.

00:29:11.780 What I'm saying again.

00:29:12.860 And I went with my family.

00:29:13.680 And I went with my family.

00:29:15.340 Family.

00:29:16.000 Sorry.

00:29:18.600 But also,

00:29:19.600 and again,

00:29:20.280 maybe this is where the cultural differences are.

00:29:22.920 When it comes to even like me traveling as an Asian woman,

00:29:25.860 they don't see me as my British passport.

00:29:27.540 They see me as an Asian woman.

00:29:29.140 If I go to Dubai,

00:29:30.020 they see me as a Bangladeshi woman

00:29:31.560 and they will take advantage of that thinking.

00:29:33.820 I'm a Bangladeshi woman.

00:29:34.880 It's just interesting.

00:29:36.200 Cause I know a couple of people from those countries

00:29:38.400 and they don't actually have the same views as you.

00:29:41.100 A hundred percent.

00:29:41.800 That grew up in those,

00:29:42.940 like,

00:29:43.160 like you said,

00:29:44.220 well,

00:29:44.380 I think you said Morocco.

00:29:46.020 Is that correct?

00:29:46.280 Can I just say,

00:29:46.940 as a Moroccan,

00:29:47.800 as a Moroccan myself,

00:29:49.720 majority,

00:29:50.600 as a Moroccan,

00:29:51.580 I'll say this.

00:29:53.200 The context in which this happened,

00:29:56.040 you were on holiday,

00:29:56.880 right?

00:29:57.620 And you're saying that people grabbed you.

00:29:59.660 What was the context of that?

00:30:01.080 No,

00:30:01.240 I'm not saying that they're constantly grabbing.

00:30:02.800 I'm saying this approach,

00:30:04.000 constantly trying to talk.

00:30:05.320 Yeah,

00:30:05.720 but are you,

00:30:06.420 but can I say,

00:30:07.160 as a Moroccan,

00:30:07.840 were you a tourist?

00:30:08.920 Were you in a tourist area?

00:30:10.500 Were you in the Medina?

00:30:12.120 Were they approaching you to sell you things?

00:30:14.540 No,

00:30:14.900 no,

00:30:15.040 I was just walking the beach.

00:30:16.240 I was walking the beach.

00:30:16.940 Even if it's a touristy area,

00:30:18.200 what I'm saying is,

00:30:19.120 some countries,

00:30:20.180 like,

00:30:20.360 even just say when I go to Bangladesh

00:30:21.460 and I'm not a tourist,

00:30:22.520 and I'm in my own clothes,

00:30:24.300 everything,

00:30:25.260 guys will still feel like they can,

00:30:27.480 they have a right to come and speak to you.

00:30:29.480 Okay,

00:30:29.640 okay.

00:30:32.560 I'm not saying it's wrong.

00:30:34.000 I'm saying,

00:30:34.460 again,

00:30:34.660 look at social cues.

00:30:35.720 If,

00:30:35.920 like you said,

00:30:36.380 the guy's teaching girls what signaling is,

00:30:38.480 if she's not making eye contact,

00:30:39.640 if she's not,

00:30:40.340 maybe don't approach her,

00:30:41.620 especially.

00:30:42.340 And that's how we make guys feel.

00:30:44.120 No,

00:30:44.240 no,

00:30:44.340 no,

00:30:44.540 no,

00:30:44.560 no,

00:30:44.620 no,

00:30:44.640 no,

00:30:44.660 no,

00:30:44.680 no,

00:30:45.120 no,

00:30:45.140 no,

00:30:45.200 no,

00:30:45.620 no,

00:30:46.120 no,

00:30:46.620 no,

00:30:47.120 no,

00:30:47.140 no,

00:30:47.640 no,

00:30:48.140 no,

00:30:48.160 no,

00:30:48.640 no,

00:30:48.660 no,

00:30:49.080 no,

00:30:49.160 no,

00:30:49.660 no,

00:30:50.160 no,

00:30:50.660 no,

00:30:51.080 no,

00:30:51.160 no,

00:30:51.660 no,

00:30:52.160 no,

00:30:52.660 no,

00:30:53.080 no,

00:30:53.160 no,

00:30:53.660 no,

00:30:54.160 no,

00:30:54.660 no,

00:30:55.160 no,

00:30:55.660 can I just say as a victim who has been sexually abused as a child,

00:30:59.920 it's yeah,

00:31:00.960 it is deep,

00:31:01.740 it is deep.

00:31:02.440 And I don't want,

00:31:03.100 if I don't want you accessing my personal space,

00:31:05.560 don't do it.

00:31:07.320 It's not just me to talk to you.

00:31:08.860 No,

00:31:09.080 I talk to everyone.

00:31:10.480 I'm a very social being.

00:31:11.620 Eddie knows I'm very social.

00:31:13.620 You trying to cross that line?

00:31:15.480 No,

00:31:16.160 like if I've not necessarily the guy's fault,

00:31:18.280 because if he,

00:31:19.180 I personally myself,

00:31:20.480 I've been through the same thing,

00:31:21.600 but I would never be able to look at a guy and say,

00:31:24.160 you know,

00:31:24.740 it's your fault.

00:31:26.220 If I'm getting mad that you're coming up and to talk to me,

00:31:28.220 I'm not saying I get mad.

00:31:29.300 He doesn't,

00:31:30.080 he doesn't know what's happened to you.

00:31:32.300 So he shouldn't be able to feel like too shy to still come.

00:31:36.320 Okay.

00:31:36.700 I will never call a man,

00:31:38.680 a cool police on a man trying to say hello to me at the park.

00:31:41.300 I will smile and I'll go off on my way.

00:31:43.480 If he is now following me and trying to take advantage of that situation.

00:31:47.460 Yes.

00:31:47.620 I will panic.

00:31:48.260 And that's again,

00:31:49.040 my traumas.

00:31:49.780 I'll panic.

00:31:50.360 If he understands,

00:31:51.560 Oh,

00:31:51.660 she doesn't want to say hello.

00:31:52.540 And he minds his business.

00:31:53.460 There's no problem.

00:31:55.060 And I think that's what it is.

00:31:56.500 But you said the majority of men are grabbing girls in country.

00:32:00.320 It's not the majority.

00:32:01.560 And that's,

00:32:02.000 and that's where like,

00:32:03.140 I have an issue with that because I don't think you're correct.

00:32:06.260 I know people from those countries and they would not say the same thing.

00:32:09.260 So it's interesting to me.

00:32:11.760 That's your view.

00:32:12.380 Cause it,

00:32:12.720 to me,

00:32:12.980 that's like,

00:32:13.380 that's like your view on men.

00:32:14.800 But I want to be,

00:32:15.180 we're not saying that it doesn't happen.

00:32:20.180 We're not saying it doesn't happen.

00:32:21.620 We're saying it's not the majority.

00:32:24.160 Okay.

00:32:24.400 It happens.

00:32:25.020 I mean the majority of the time I go out and it might be my figure.

00:32:28.320 It might be my,

00:32:29.100 and that's why,

00:32:29.700 again,

00:32:29.960 I don't like to,

00:32:31.120 when I go,

00:32:31.560 especially abroad,

00:32:32.280 I don't wear clothes that will extenuate my figure as much or my skin because I like to protect myself.

00:32:38.460 Yeah.

00:32:38.720 It might be that they find me attractive and they want to,

00:32:41.100 maybe every girl doesn't experience that.

00:32:42.400 But every time I go out,

00:32:43.500 I do get approached or I do get spoken to.

00:32:45.840 And I have to now,

00:32:46.600 I smile.

00:32:47.360 It's not like I'm calling police,

00:32:48.660 but I'll be like,

00:32:49.260 no,

00:32:49.520 sorry,

00:32:49.780 I'm not interested.

00:32:50.420 Or,

00:32:50.840 okay.

00:32:51.080 Yeah,

00:32:51.520 no,

00:32:52.080 you know,

00:32:52.340 I'm not single.

00:32:53.400 And I guess,

00:32:54.020 I guess every girl says that to guys,

00:32:55.600 I'm not single.

00:32:56.600 Then they'll be like,

00:32:57.300 Oh,

00:32:57.420 what?

00:32:57.620 So yeah,

00:32:58.000 you can't have a side boyfriend.

00:32:59.880 It's just the approach.

00:33:03.500 But I don't think like if a guy's persistent,

00:33:05.980 like I'm not,

00:33:06.720 I don't think that's that bad.

00:33:08.260 Like who cares?

00:33:08.740 No one saying it's bad.

00:33:09.600 I don't think he should grab you.

00:33:11.640 I think that's like,

00:33:12.680 okay,

00:33:12.920 don't,

00:33:13.280 don't,

00:33:13.500 but like you're telling me you,

00:33:15.320 you went to this country and every single guy you saw are like,

00:33:18.560 let's say,

00:33:19.080 so the majority,

00:33:20.480 so let's say six out of 10 guys you saw grabbed you.

00:33:22.920 No,

00:33:23.060 not grab.

00:33:23.640 They will approach me.

00:33:24.620 Okay.

00:33:24.820 But approaching is an assault.

00:33:26.440 No,

00:33:26.560 no,

00:33:26.820 it's not that it's an assault,

00:33:27.800 but it could lead to that.

00:33:29.180 Hold up.

00:33:29.560 If I keep smiling and entertaining it and not saying,

00:33:32.580 putting my boundary up,

00:33:33.600 he might think,

00:33:34.140 Oh,

00:33:34.220 she's interested.

00:33:35.060 And it's very hard for when times I feel like we say yes,

00:33:37.520 just because it's easier.

00:33:38.420 Like I take guys number just because it's easier.

00:33:40.200 That's not their fault.

00:33:41.640 Like to me,

00:33:42.460 like if a guy approaches me again,

00:33:43.920 again,

00:33:44.100 like it's annoying,

00:33:46.020 but who cares?

00:33:47.920 Like I,

00:33:48.320 I've been in,

00:33:49.140 like I went to Martinique.

00:33:51.080 I don't know if you've heard of me.

00:33:51.980 Yeah,

00:33:52.000 it's nice.

00:33:52.540 It's nice.

00:33:53.920 And like guys there,

00:33:54.900 they're like at this beach would like come up to me and I'm like,

00:33:57.740 who cares?

00:33:58.260 I'd be like,

00:33:58.520 go away.

00:33:59.300 Okay.

00:33:59.560 Maybe.

00:34:00.540 Sorry,

00:34:01.020 I think it can be intimidating.

00:34:02.940 I think the way a person can approach you,

00:34:05.120 like I think some people,

00:34:05.840 and I think it depends on each person's like how you are,

00:34:08.860 I guess,

00:34:09.220 but I think sometimes the way,

00:34:10.760 even the way a guy will approach you can make you uncomfortable.

00:34:14.100 I'm a confident person.

00:34:16.220 And I've had guys approach me.

00:34:18.020 That's made me feel intimidated.

00:34:19.160 I've given guys my number just so that this interaction can end.

00:34:23.040 I've had some,

00:34:24.080 I went to a party one time and the guy was like,

00:34:25.780 I think it was the security at the venue.

00:34:27.260 And I left and I didn't realize he was following me.

00:34:29.440 And I'm walking down a dark road.

00:34:31.060 I get in my car.

00:34:32.400 Thankfully,

00:34:32.660 as soon as I get in the car,

00:34:33.340 I locked the doors.

00:34:34.040 I locked the door.

00:34:35.220 He's like,

00:34:35.980 he's like,

00:34:36.920 oh,

00:34:37.160 trying to get my attention.

00:34:37.960 I was like,

00:34:38.200 oh,

00:34:38.400 I'm not interested because this is,

00:34:40.420 I feel unsafe in this situation.

00:34:42.100 He stood there.

00:34:43.140 He stood there getting his phone out.

00:34:44.500 Like he's talking to me and I'm looking at him like,

00:34:46.400 bro.

00:34:46.840 And I was annoyed because I was in a tight space.

00:34:48.140 I couldn't just kind of just drive off.

00:34:49.900 So I think some guys,

00:34:51.420 it can be like,

00:34:52.340 it's just the way they approach you.

00:34:53.920 They don't approach you in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

00:34:57.260 I'm with you.

00:34:58.040 I'm saying that's not the majority.

00:35:00.200 That's my,

00:35:00.640 that's my problem is when,

00:35:01.900 and you guys are saying that's the majority of men.

00:35:03.980 So that means six out of 10 guys are approaching you in that way.

00:35:07.420 We're not saying it doesn't happen.

00:35:08.940 We're just saying it's not the majority of men.

00:35:11.840 I'm using the words,

00:35:12.880 I'm using the words that you say.

00:35:15.860 I'm not saying majority men will physically grab me,

00:35:18.100 but they will try to come in my personal space.

00:35:20.180 And they might try to put their hand around me.

00:35:21.940 They might try to,

00:35:22.640 I just think what,

00:35:23.420 what world are you in that six out of 10 men are approaching you?

00:35:26.560 Well,

00:35:26.580 maybe the young lady at the end,

00:35:30.240 I don't know her name.

00:35:31.360 The young lady at the end.

00:35:32.760 I've had lots of friends go to Morocco and depending on where they go,

00:35:37.220 it depends on how they get treated and the tourist areas,

00:35:40.720 people that approach people and when you travel.

00:35:44.020 So it might be the majority in that particular area.

00:35:48.100 Well,

00:35:48.220 that's the only majority I can speak about.

00:35:49.960 No,

00:35:50.140 but you're saying the majority of men in Morocco.

00:35:52.820 No,

00:35:53.000 no,

00:35:53.080 no,

00:35:53.400 that's not how I started.

00:35:54.780 That's not how I started.

00:35:56.480 Hold up.

00:35:56.840 Sorry.

00:35:57.180 That's what you said.

00:35:58.200 No,

00:35:58.220 that's not how I started.

00:35:59.360 I said,

00:36:00.000 I said there's in this country,

00:36:03.100 we have these protections in other countries.

00:36:05.060 We don't.

00:36:05.740 And when I've traveled to other countries,

00:36:07.160 which is obviously going to be touristy areas,

00:36:09.480 men have been quite in my space.

00:36:11.560 And then I asked you,

00:36:12.300 is it the majority?

00:36:13.000 Majority of men in that time have been in my space.

00:36:15.400 I said in those countries and you said,

00:36:17.260 yes,

00:36:17.640 I promise to God we will clip this.

00:36:19.800 Can I say that?

00:36:22.320 I do think that as much that she can go to Morocco,

00:36:25.060 I can go to Morocco,

00:36:26.180 we go to the exact same place.

00:36:27.200 I mean,

00:36:27.320 it could be different experiences.

00:36:28.240 So I think each person's experience,

00:36:29.960 like whatever they say,

00:36:30.980 whatever conversation they have is going to be based off their experiences.

00:36:33.760 It could be a thing where when she does go out,

00:36:35.860 maybe she goes out seven days a week,

00:36:38.160 maybe four hours,

00:36:38.780 seven days a week,

00:36:40.280 she feels harassed by men.

00:36:41.600 And that's,

00:36:42.360 that's her,

00:36:42.900 we can travel to the same places.

00:36:44.280 Okay,

00:36:44.420 this is dangerous.

00:36:47.240 This is,

00:36:47.540 this is that,

00:36:48.160 that,

00:36:48.340 no,

00:36:48.620 what you said right there,

00:36:49.540 stop.

00:36:50.000 But that,

00:36:50.400 that,

00:36:50.700 that is dangerous.

00:36:51.900 You feel harassed.

00:36:53.240 Were you harassed?

00:36:54.500 Yes.

00:36:55.480 Feeling harassed is not harassed.

00:36:56.980 No,

00:36:57.060 no,

00:36:57.160 if I feel harassed,

00:36:58.000 it's because I've been harassed.

00:36:59.080 Yeah.

00:36:59.260 What,

00:36:59.420 what is,

00:36:59.900 what is harassment?

00:37:01.680 Being harassed and feeling harassed is different.

00:37:03.620 What is feeling harassed?

00:37:05.080 Feeling harassed.

00:37:05.420 You could be walking down the road

00:37:06.400 and the man could be walking behind you

00:37:07.660 and you turn right,

00:37:08.280 he turns right,

00:37:08.900 he turns left,

00:37:10.200 you might feel harassed.

00:37:11.640 He's actually going the same direction you are.

00:37:13.500 Okay,

00:37:13.800 and then you can be,

00:37:15.060 the man could follow you,

00:37:16.360 talking to you,

00:37:16.980 excuse me,

00:37:17.380 can I have your number,

00:37:17.960 can I have your number,

00:37:18.540 touch you,

00:37:18.860 can I have your number,

00:37:19.440 following you.

00:37:20.180 That is being harassed.

00:37:21.000 Okay,

00:37:21.260 that's what happens.

00:37:22.300 The being harassed happens.

00:37:24.260 So him following me,

00:37:25.380 every step I'm taking

00:37:26.200 and trying to get my number

00:37:27.460 is what happens.

00:37:28.200 So we're not saying that it doesn't happen.

00:37:29.860 We're just saying it's not the majority of men.

00:37:32.000 Okay,

00:37:32.020 and like I said,

00:37:32.920 maybe again,

00:37:33.660 my figure,

00:37:34.460 my figure might attract a lot more men

00:37:36.520 than someone else.

00:37:37.280 Someone else might be size six,

00:37:38.900 and not attracted,

00:37:39.920 right?

00:37:40.200 Men might not be attracted to that.

00:37:41.760 My figure might be what attracts them

00:37:43.260 and when I go on the streets of Marrakesh,

00:37:45.100 they might feel like,

00:37:45.860 ooh,

00:37:46.080 this is a nice one.

00:37:47.180 I don't know.

00:37:47.800 I can't say my experience with someone else

00:37:49.300 is going to be exactly the same,

00:37:50.520 but what I have experienced

00:37:51.840 when I have gone to certain countries,

00:37:53.760 I have been physically touched

00:37:54.940 and again,

00:37:55.380 maybe it's because I'm too smiley.

00:37:56.860 Sometimes when I'm too smiley,

00:37:58.280 guys think they can physically just come

00:38:00.180 and get a bit more comfortable.

00:38:01.740 So I've had to be a bit more standoffish.

00:38:04.200 Jeff Bezos' ex-wife.

00:38:05.820 So do everyone know who Jeff Bezos is?

00:38:09.760 Auntie,

00:38:10.240 you don't?

00:38:11.400 Amazon girl.

00:38:12.080 Amazon.

00:38:12.600 Owner of Amazon.

00:38:13.500 It's like one of the,

00:38:14.080 so he's one of the richest,

00:38:15.600 he's one of the richest men on the planet.

00:38:18.340 And so about a couple years ago,

00:38:23.020 it came out that he was cheating

00:38:24.320 on his wife at the time.

00:38:26.460 And his wife was there from the beginning.

00:38:28.040 So she was like,

00:38:29.100 they've been together,

00:38:29.780 I don't know,

00:38:30.040 like 20 years,

00:38:30.720 something like that.

00:38:32.080 And she divorced him,

00:38:34.520 took half the money

00:38:35.500 and got remarried.

00:38:37.400 And at the time,

00:38:38.320 everyone was saying,

00:38:39.020 oh,

00:38:39.080 it was so sweet.

00:38:39.800 She married a teacher

00:38:40.660 and it all seemed like,

00:38:42.620 you know,

00:38:42.760 she got the fairytale ending.

00:38:44.080 However,

00:38:45.240 she is now divorcing her second husband.

00:38:48.720 So knowing that women

00:38:50.900 typically don't do well

00:38:53.160 when they date someone

00:38:56.060 that's like less than their ex

00:38:57.820 in their head,

00:38:58.980 should she have stayed with Jeff

00:39:00.700 knowing that she can't do better?

00:39:04.240 I guess she wouldn't have known.

00:39:05.960 What?

00:39:07.200 Didn't Bill Gates,

00:39:08.140 didn't he get divorced as well?

00:39:09.640 Yeah,

00:39:10.220 yeah,

00:39:10.400 yeah.

00:39:10.700 I guess she wouldn't have known

00:39:11.760 she can't do better

00:39:12.420 until she knows

00:39:14.120 she's like in her 40s.

00:39:16.060 Yeah,

00:39:16.180 but you don't know.

00:39:17.200 Because you know what?

00:39:17.940 Billionaire?

00:39:18.520 We know people think,

00:39:19.380 you know,

00:39:19.560 the grass is greener.

00:39:20.460 And if you're in that circle,

00:39:22.820 like you're,

00:39:23.820 I guess you're,

00:39:24.780 what you're,

00:39:25.200 like the people you're,

00:39:26.240 you got accessible to,

00:39:27.620 you're not different.

00:39:28.420 You're in a different ballgame.

00:39:29.540 Like,

00:39:29.900 you know,

00:39:30.400 when you date a celebrity,

00:39:31.560 I am now in this world.

00:39:32.960 I've got access to other billionaires,

00:39:34.560 I guess.

00:39:34.880 So she wouldn't have known

00:39:36.020 she couldn't do better

00:39:36.880 when she's already in that world.

00:39:38.800 What,

00:39:38.980 a teacher?

00:39:39.420 I mean,

00:39:41.560 well,

00:39:41.880 she knows that now,

00:39:43.000 but,

00:39:43.380 she probably thought

00:39:44.080 the teacher won't cheat on her.

00:39:45.360 So she probably thought

00:39:46.080 it's better for her to date,

00:39:46.980 let Noah.

00:39:47.860 Why did they,

00:39:48.420 why did they split up?

00:39:49.440 Because he cheated.

00:39:50.620 Is that it?

00:39:51.760 No,

00:39:51.980 I don't know why.

00:39:52.480 No,

00:39:52.880 them two,

00:39:53.600 because he cheated.

00:39:54.420 He cheated.

00:39:55.240 And that's why she left him?

00:39:56.140 Yeah,

00:39:56.260 yeah.

00:39:56.540 Four.

00:39:56.900 So not because she wanted

00:39:58.180 half of his fortune.

00:39:59.100 But she's incentivized to,

00:40:00.180 she became the richest woman

00:40:01.120 in the world

00:40:01.520 just for divorcing him.

00:40:02.560 But wait,

00:40:02.860 why is that such a bad thing?

00:40:03.940 She actually had to divorce him.

00:40:05.700 One at a time.

00:40:07.800 Auntie,

00:40:08.080 go ahead.

00:40:08.340 He cheated.

00:40:09.220 Did they say that he was cheating?

00:40:11.280 He stepped out.

00:40:12.340 How do you know?

00:40:12.880 Maybe she won't give him no sex.

00:40:15.320 But she could have forgiven him.

00:40:16.920 Talk about it.

00:40:17.740 Look how long they've been together.

00:40:18.820 They've been together long.

00:40:19.900 No,

00:40:20.020 but you were saying that

00:40:20.780 if a woman stays,

00:40:21.780 she's stupid then.

00:40:22.960 So if she stayed with him

00:40:24.180 after he cheated,

00:40:25.240 would she not be stupid?

00:40:26.420 And look what she done.

00:40:28.020 And look what she done.

00:40:28.760 Made more of a fool of herself.

00:40:30.340 She might as well stay there

00:40:31.140 and worked it out.

00:40:31.780 Auntie didn't,

00:40:32.380 Auntie didn't say you're stupid.

00:40:33.840 She says the girls are stupid

00:40:35.040 when they get back with the guy

00:40:36.420 and then complain about him cheating.

00:40:38.340 So like you make his life

00:40:39.620 a living hell.

00:40:40.840 You chose to get back with him

00:40:42.660 and maybe she couldn't forgive him

00:40:45.120 and then put it back.

00:40:46.000 Yeah,

00:40:46.120 maybe she couldn't forgive him.

00:40:46.880 Couldn't let go.

00:40:47.440 Yeah,

00:40:47.660 so she had to leave.

00:40:48.380 Maybe she's just thinking

00:40:49.060 about the money she would get

00:40:49.900 as she divorced him

00:40:50.700 that she could start again.

00:40:51.980 I think that.

00:40:52.600 But she should have gone

00:40:53.180 and find another billionaire

00:40:54.240 to match her money then.

00:40:55.440 I do think he was wrong though

00:40:57.160 because I do believe that

00:40:58.680 if a woman was there

00:41:00.140 from the start

00:41:00.940 then you owe her

00:41:02.000 that level of loyalty

00:41:02.820 for helping you get

00:41:03.540 to the position

00:41:04.040 that you got to.

00:41:04.940 I only believe that

00:41:05.760 if he remarries

00:41:06.940 or finds a new woman

00:41:08.000 then he'd just do

00:41:08.800 what the fuck you like

00:41:09.420 because she's buying

00:41:10.800 into a lifestyle

00:41:11.500 that she could never have.

00:41:12.420 She just got lucky.

00:41:13.260 I want to know

00:41:13.740 if she gets divorced

00:41:14.560 has she got to give

00:41:15.140 the teacher half?

00:41:16.380 Nah,

00:41:16.820 of course not.

00:41:17.360 She'll be smart to do a prenup.

00:41:18.480 Just checking.

00:41:19.220 Yeah,

00:41:19.400 sure.

00:41:19.660 I hope she did a prenup.

00:41:20.600 Well,

00:41:20.720 she didn't smart enough

00:41:21.320 so it's nice for her

00:41:24.100 to take that

00:41:25.040 but it's not nice

00:41:25.880 for someone to do it to her.

00:41:27.120 Yeah,

00:41:27.260 because the teacher

00:41:28.500 didn't help her

00:41:29.020 from the beginning,

00:41:29.560 did he?

00:41:30.120 Exactly.

00:41:30.680 She didn't get that money

00:41:33.580 from the beginning.

00:41:34.100 Yeah,

00:41:34.220 she helped her husband

00:41:35.220 in the first marriage

00:41:36.500 but she didn't like

00:41:38.600 She didn't build Amazon.

00:41:39.740 She didn't make the money.

00:41:41.060 She took care of the family.

00:41:42.340 She did her part.

00:41:42.960 Yeah,

00:41:42.980 but is that

00:41:43.820 half his fortune?

00:41:45.280 You're telling me

00:41:45.780 if it was her

00:41:46.740 she could have built Amazon

00:41:47.700 by herself?

00:41:48.540 No,

00:41:48.800 she didn't do that.

00:41:50.000 But you know,

00:41:50.400 the thing is,

00:41:50.840 that was their partnership,

00:41:51.920 right?

00:41:52.120 That was what they worked together.

00:41:53.320 It's like men

00:41:54.460 when they used to pay off

00:41:55.500 the mortgage

00:41:56.020 when women then divorced

00:41:57.600 they were entitled to half

00:41:58.880 only because they couldn't earn

00:42:00.200 and they wouldn't have enough

00:42:00.800 I held it down

00:42:01.700 for you to build that fortune.

00:42:03.180 You know,

00:42:03.360 the thing is,

00:42:03.840 why are you entitled

00:42:04.680 to his money?

00:42:05.560 Like,

00:42:05.660 that's so much like

00:42:06.560 I'm just thinking

00:42:07.280 from the man's point of view

00:42:08.540 like if I'm building

00:42:09.380 this business,

00:42:10.740 right?

00:42:11.300 And I have a boyfriend

00:42:13.280 or a husband,

00:42:14.080 right?

00:42:14.580 Why would he leave

00:42:15.680 and get half

00:42:16.220 if I built it?

00:42:17.860 So why do women

00:42:18.780 feel entitled?

00:42:19.620 Because with them,

00:42:20.960 say they've got children,

00:42:22.780 he obviously had to work

00:42:23.940 like tirelessly

00:42:24.640 to build Amazon,

00:42:25.400 right?

00:42:25.920 She was probably,

00:42:26.940 I don't know,

00:42:27.340 I don't know the situation,

00:42:28.080 I don't know the story,

00:42:28.700 but let's just say

00:42:29.280 she was at home.

00:42:30.420 She held down the home

00:42:31.680 for him to be able

00:42:33.160 to build that.

00:42:34.520 I definitely deserve that.

00:42:35.540 It's not worth half

00:42:36.920 of Amazon.

00:42:38.080 Billions of dollars?

00:42:39.420 You can't raise two kids?

00:42:40.940 Oh, come on.

00:42:41.600 I grew up with nannies.

00:42:44.040 I grew up with nannies.

00:42:44.920 That shit's like

00:42:45.420 $12 an hour.

00:42:46.780 Stop it.

00:42:47.460 Stop it.

00:42:48.060 Exactly.

00:42:48.360 You grew up with nannies,

00:42:49.240 but not,

00:42:50.100 I don't know

00:42:50.600 if they had nannies

00:42:51.100 or whatever,

00:42:51.660 but a woman

00:42:53.140 staying at home

00:42:53.980 to take care of kids

00:42:54.500 is hard work.

00:42:55.320 That's why you had nannies.

00:42:56.440 Billions of dollars?

00:42:58.240 Billions of dollars?

00:42:59.560 Do you know the thing is,

00:43:00.380 right,

00:43:00.640 is that she got half his money,

00:43:03.580 but I would like to see

00:43:05.640 what he does with his half

00:43:07.320 because Amazon's

00:43:08.240 still going to stay there.

00:43:09.780 I bet he still makes

00:43:10.860 more money

00:43:11.340 than she does with hers.

00:43:13.320 I bet sooner or later

00:43:14.200 she's got no money

00:43:15.300 and he's still building on his.

00:43:17.060 She wants to give her money away.

00:43:18.900 That'd be cool.

00:43:19.520 Then she shouldn't have

00:43:20.160 taken it in the first place.

00:43:21.200 Why?

00:43:21.660 Why should she not

00:43:22.120 take it in the first place?

00:43:22.880 Why take it in the first place

00:43:24.240 if you're not going to want it?

00:43:25.980 No, that's different.

00:43:26.720 I can take money from you

00:43:28.040 and then give it to

00:43:28.740 whoever I want to give it

00:43:29.420 and spend it

00:43:29.800 however I want to spend it,

00:43:30.920 but I'm not going to decline

00:43:31.660 the money because

00:43:32.180 I'm going to give it away.

00:43:33.040 I'd like to see her

00:43:33.780 give it all away.

00:43:34.200 But I don't think

00:43:34.520 she should have got the money

00:43:35.440 in the first place.

00:43:36.500 Can I say,

00:43:37.900 I think Jeff Bezos

00:43:39.700 doesn't give a fuck.

00:43:41.040 How about that?

00:43:42.300 Because,

00:43:43.060 simply because

00:43:43.940 that's his ex-wife

00:43:45.120 and she got half the money,

00:43:47.360 but he's got his money

00:43:48.220 and he knows

00:43:48.640 he's going to make more.

00:43:49.440 That's not right to say.

00:43:51.320 He don't give a fuck

00:43:51.980 because it's Jeff Bezos.

00:43:53.020 The average man

00:43:53.840 has to give a fuck

00:43:55.020 because that's his livelihood done.

00:43:56.920 I get you,

00:43:57.480 but in context

00:43:58.860 of the situation,

00:44:00.720 I don't think

00:44:01.240 Jeff Bezos,

00:44:02.820 he doesn't care

00:44:04.180 because at the end of the day,

00:44:05.700 maybe she's miserable.

00:44:06.280 Okay, what about this?

00:44:07.460 What about this?

00:44:08.400 Would you rather

00:44:09.160 you lose your money,

00:44:11.240 yeah,

00:44:11.680 but,

00:44:12.080 and you don't have to deal

00:44:12.960 with that woman

00:44:13.480 that's weighing you down

00:44:14.300 for the rest of your life

00:44:15.280 and you can make some more money

00:44:16.460 and be happy and content.

00:44:18.320 I agree with you.

00:44:19.440 He's so rich.

00:44:20.220 He probably,

00:44:20.740 I doubt he cares.

00:44:21.860 He's so rich,

00:44:22.480 but the point is like,

00:44:24.300 why do as women

00:44:25.220 we feel entitled

00:44:25.980 to a man's money

00:44:26.800 because you helped raise the kids?

00:44:28.240 No,

00:44:28.340 but that's a law in the States,

00:44:29.720 right?

00:44:29.940 This doesn't apply

00:44:30.680 like in most other countries.

00:44:31.620 Okay,

00:44:31.800 but we're not,

00:44:32.520 we're in the UK.

00:44:33.840 Yeah,

00:44:33.960 even in the UK,

00:44:34.820 women don't naturally.

00:44:35.980 That's not true.

00:44:36.480 I'll be honest.

00:44:37.100 I'll be honest with you.

00:44:37.760 In the UK.

00:44:38.140 That's not,

00:44:38.440 that's not,

00:44:38.460 that's not,

00:44:38.680 that's not,

00:44:38.700 that's not true.

00:44:40.100 Even,

00:44:40.900 I don't necessarily know

00:44:42.080 what it is for divorce,

00:44:43.140 but from,

00:44:43.940 I've heard a lot of,

00:44:44.840 like,

00:44:45.020 I get DMs from people constantly

00:44:47.060 and I've gotten horror stories

00:44:48.840 from men in the UK

00:44:49.740 and I do street interviews,

00:44:51.720 horror stories of child support.

00:44:53.500 So it's,

00:44:54.120 it's no different.

00:44:54.920 And it's,

00:44:55.280 you're in the West.

00:44:56.080 We're not talking about global.

00:44:57.840 If I have to give up my career

00:44:58.900 for you to build something

00:45:00.860 and then you cheat on me

00:45:02.180 and we have to get divorced,

00:45:03.360 big man,

00:45:04.260 give me my money.

00:45:07.340 But that's how the courts see it.

00:45:11.160 The courts see it as

00:45:11.940 it's fair for a woman to get this.

00:45:13.520 Like we're saying about the West,

00:45:14.560 the reason that this is a law

00:45:15.700 is because the courts have decided

00:45:17.040 not women

00:45:17.540 that it's fair for women,

00:45:19.000 especially where

00:45:19.600 they couldn't maybe have an income

00:45:20.960 back in the day.

00:45:21.240 The courts favour the women.

00:45:22.220 No,

00:45:22.460 it's not that they favour.

00:45:23.160 No,

00:45:23.380 no,

00:45:23.500 no,

00:45:23.600 no.

00:45:23.660 It's fair.

00:45:25.180 No,

00:45:25.400 but the context is

00:45:26.400 the court is a business.

00:45:27.540 It makes money.

00:45:28.620 Men pay into the court system.

00:45:30.420 I've said this before.

00:45:31.700 And then women claim legal aid,

00:45:34.080 which is taxpayers' money,

00:45:35.460 which men are the taxpayers

00:45:36.420 because they're working,

00:45:37.580 right?

00:45:38.280 Then what happens is,

00:45:40.100 is basically women get

00:45:42.040 half of the man's money

00:45:43.380 because he's working.

00:45:44.680 He has to pay the legal fees.

00:45:46.160 He has to pay child support,

00:45:47.760 which also goes to the woman.

00:45:49.420 And then there's a level

00:45:50.720 of entitlement

00:45:51.640 that women think

00:45:54.060 that they're entitled to it.

00:45:55.440 Why?

00:45:56.340 His children are entitled to it

00:45:58.100 because they're the children,

00:45:59.160 but you as a woman are not.

00:46:00.600 Yeah.

00:46:01.040 And again,

00:46:01.660 coming back to...

00:46:02.440 Sorry,

00:46:02.460 I'll try to say that real quick.

00:46:03.640 Coming back to even

00:46:04.300 the cultural differences,

00:46:05.840 me,

00:46:06.120 myself,

00:46:06.620 in my faith,

00:46:07.600 when you get married,

00:46:08.620 the woman has a dowry

00:46:09.720 and that's the only thing

00:46:10.800 she's entitled to.

00:46:11.860 When she's married to the man,

00:46:13.100 he pays for her upkeep

00:46:14.140 and her life of what she had.

00:46:15.760 So if she started off

00:46:16.500 as a millionaire's daughter,

00:46:17.740 he needs to provide

00:46:18.400 that lifestyle.

00:46:19.000 If she started off

00:46:19.720 as on $10 a month,

00:46:21.380 that's the minimum

00:46:22.080 he has to offer.

00:46:23.200 When they get divorced,

00:46:24.800 she's not entitled

00:46:25.520 to any of his money

00:46:26.600 or assets.

00:46:27.660 While she's working

00:46:28.400 in the marriage,

00:46:29.220 her money is her money.

00:46:30.460 His money is their money,

00:46:32.480 if that makes sense.

00:46:33.260 When they now divorce,

00:46:34.720 she doesn't take

00:46:35.940 any of his money or assets

00:46:37.240 and if they have children,

00:46:38.580 he has to pay responsibility

00:46:39.820 for his children

00:46:40.480 and his assets

00:46:41.800 get divided to his children.

00:46:43.300 Nothing to her.

00:46:44.220 So naturally,

00:46:45.260 I come from a thing

00:46:46.540 where we have like a prenup,

00:46:47.780 let's say,

00:46:48.460 because a woman can't marry

00:46:49.540 as a gold digger.

00:46:50.780 This country,

00:46:51.480 this or these concepts

00:46:52.640 have come from

00:46:53.280 where courts have decided

00:46:54.320 it's fair for women

00:46:55.760 to get this much

00:46:57.820 because when they're left,

00:46:58.920 they're left with nothing.

00:46:59.620 Yeah,

00:47:00.200 but it's called business

00:47:01.220 because men pay into,

00:47:03.580 listen,

00:47:04.380 have you ever been to court?

00:47:05.860 Have you ever actually

00:47:06.600 had to pay?

00:47:07.620 If you realize

00:47:08.420 the amount that people

00:47:09.360 have to pay,

00:47:09.840 oh, sorry,

00:47:11.560 the amount that people

00:47:12.640 have to pay,

00:47:13.260 for example,

00:47:13.700 with children,

00:47:14.840 there's a lot of money

00:47:15.860 that goes into

00:47:16.760 the court system.

00:47:18.140 This isn't a recent,

00:47:18.960 this is a recent law.

00:47:20.440 This wasn't around

00:47:21.220 200 years ago.

00:47:22.220 What?

00:47:22.960 Men and women

00:47:23.880 dividing their assets

00:47:24.820 when they divorce.

00:47:25.620 They won't get into divorce.

00:47:26.260 There's also nothing

00:47:28.420 stopping women

00:47:29.180 from working today.

00:47:30.680 Exactly.

00:47:31.300 But the courts

00:47:32.400 do take that

00:47:33.000 into consideration.

00:47:34.160 I'll put it like this.

00:47:35.300 When women say

00:47:36.000 they're a single mother,

00:47:37.040 yeah,

00:47:37.700 they're not a single mother.

00:47:39.320 They're a woman

00:47:40.760 with children.

00:47:42.180 Yeah.

00:47:42.380 And then they become

00:47:43.200 available if they want to.

00:47:44.820 Right.

00:47:45.600 If a man is,

00:47:46.440 if a man wants

00:47:47.160 to look after his kids

00:47:48.480 and you are separated,

00:47:51.880 you're not a single mother.

00:47:53.160 She's a single woman.

00:47:54.100 Yeah,

00:47:54.260 she's a single woman.

00:47:55.380 But in the court,

00:47:56.740 she'll say,

00:47:57.080 I'm a single mother.

00:47:58.120 I need the money

00:47:59.000 to look after the kids,

00:48:00.740 blah, blah, blah.

00:48:01.180 Right.

00:48:02.280 And she has control

00:48:03.420 of how the money is spent

00:48:04.900 so she can spend it

00:48:05.660 on what she wants.

00:48:07.440 And she's incentivized

00:48:08.420 to not let the man

00:48:09.200 see the kids.

00:48:09.960 Like she's literally paid to

00:48:11.140 because she gets more

00:48:11.900 child support

00:48:12.600 if the father

00:48:14.100 doesn't see the kids.

00:48:15.160 Yeah.

00:48:15.280 And I think that's toxic women

00:48:16.280 who put themselves

00:48:17.020 before their children,

00:48:17.980 which is not.

00:48:18.520 But it's business.

00:48:19.120 Yeah,

00:48:19.480 but again,

00:48:20.220 a woman has to look

00:48:21.400 at herself and say,

00:48:22.240 like you said,

00:48:23.640 it's about her children

00:48:24.480 from then.

00:48:24.940 If she then thinks

00:48:25.640 about herself,

00:48:26.520 that's her as a woman.

00:48:28.000 But I can flip it back

00:48:29.200 to the earlier conversation

00:48:30.480 when we were saying

00:48:31.240 about the whole dynamic

00:48:32.900 that we were talking about

00:48:34.140 where it was

00:48:34.680 I, I, I, I, I.

00:48:36.080 And that comes into play

00:48:37.180 because the woman

00:48:37.840 is not thinking

00:48:38.500 about the children.

00:48:39.720 She's thinking

00:48:40.180 about herself,

00:48:41.360 how she feels

00:48:42.280 at that given time

00:48:43.540 based on,

00:48:44.360 no, no, real,

00:48:46.020 but based on

00:48:46.900 looking through the phone,

00:48:47.760 getting angry,

00:48:48.880 all these feelings,

00:48:49.880 what's happened,

00:48:51.240 the projections

00:48:51.880 that have happened,

00:48:53.100 the lack of,

00:48:53.820 no, emotional management.

00:48:55.760 And then when you're in,

00:48:56.840 no, no, no,

00:48:57.500 when you're in the courthouse,

00:48:59.060 remember,

00:48:59.520 you have to provide evidence

00:49:00.960 in court

00:49:01.780 for why you want

00:49:03.760 to see your children, right?

00:49:04.840 If a woman says,

00:49:05.800 this is,

00:49:06.220 I don't want my partner

00:49:08.000 or ex to see my kids

00:49:09.360 because he's abusive,

00:49:10.200 he's toxic,

00:49:10.680 he sent me these messages

00:49:12.120 on social media,

00:49:13.020 he did this,

00:49:14.060 this and this,

00:49:14.460 then screenshots

00:49:15.040 were given to the court.

00:49:17.100 She could put in

00:49:17.640 an injunction

00:49:18.460 without that,

00:49:19.480 just that evidence alone.

00:49:20.980 Now that man

00:49:21.860 has to pay

00:49:22.780 to get the injunctions removed,

00:49:24.960 prove his innocence,

00:49:26.180 then pay to see his kids

00:49:27.580 and pay for his children

00:49:29.620 even though he's not seeing them.

00:49:31.120 Okay, I feel like...

00:49:32.140 So then he's financially drained.

00:49:34.060 Okay, I feel like

00:49:34.780 there's a lot of responsibility

00:49:35.800 taking off

00:49:36.940 the man cheating.

00:49:38.740 For example,

00:49:39.660 a man who's married

00:49:41.000 and has children,

00:49:42.160 he should understand

00:49:43.040 if I cheat,

00:49:44.420 I'm going to break my home.

00:49:45.700 There's a risk.

00:49:46.980 It's a responsibility

00:49:47.980 on himself

00:49:48.760 that he shouldn't do it.

00:49:49.620 But we can say,

00:49:51.060 we can say it's wrong,

00:49:53.080 but he shouldn't lose

00:49:53.920 half of his shit.

00:49:55.200 I'm not saying that.

00:49:55.880 I'm saying

00:49:56.180 if a woman now

00:49:57.220 goes on his phone

00:49:58.260 and she's now looking,

00:50:00.020 she shouldn't find anything,

00:50:01.220 right?

00:50:01.620 She shouldn't

00:50:02.100 because he should also

00:50:03.120 adhere to his own responsibility

00:50:04.700 and not do anything, right?

00:50:06.180 No, no,

00:50:06.480 but why was she looking?

00:50:07.440 Because she suspects

00:50:08.500 there's something.

00:50:08.720 She suspects

00:50:09.260 because he might be

00:50:10.000 doing something dodgy.

00:50:11.220 That's selfish, man.

00:50:12.360 Hold up, hold up.

00:50:13.240 When you suspect something,

00:50:14.920 you already know the answer

00:50:16.320 90% of the time.

00:50:16.580 A man cheating

00:50:17.580 is selfish.

00:50:18.820 A man cheating

00:50:19.680 and stepping out

00:50:20.440 is selfish.

00:50:20.820 But also breaking up

00:50:21.640 that home is selfish.

00:50:22.920 So he also needs

00:50:24.260 to understand

00:50:24.840 his actions

00:50:25.580 are going to break the home.

00:50:26.520 But wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:50:27.720 What action is more heavy, yeah?

00:50:29.420 Your man cheating

00:50:30.120 or the fact that a woman

00:50:31.180 destroys her home

00:50:32.280 for her children?

00:50:33.160 What act is more heavy?

00:50:34.340 In a marriage,

00:50:35.240 respect should still be there.

00:50:37.160 Whether you like your wife

00:50:38.740 or not,

00:50:39.280 you should respect her.

00:50:40.500 If you're going to step out...

00:50:41.680 Can you answer his question?

00:50:42.820 What did you ask?

00:50:43.940 What has more weight in it, yeah?

00:50:46.280 A man stepping out,

00:50:47.700 just busting a nut

00:50:48.460 or you breaking up a home

00:50:49.820 where your kids

00:50:50.360 will suffer the results?

00:50:51.400 But you've created that.

00:50:52.440 What is more heavy?

00:50:53.220 What's more heavy?

00:50:53.920 You as a man

00:50:54.540 have created that.

00:50:55.100 What is more heavy?

00:50:56.320 The man.

00:50:57.140 The man.

00:50:57.640 So the man cheating.

00:50:58.520 I'm sorry.

00:50:59.060 Okay, okay, okay.

00:51:01.000 This right there,

00:51:02.020 modern women selfish.

00:51:03.300 I swear to God.

00:51:04.100 I swear to God.

00:51:04.480 No, no, no, no.

00:51:05.120 That is crazy.

00:51:06.000 Let me, let me, let me.

00:51:06.800 Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

00:51:09.180 You're over-talking me

00:51:09.960 on my own show.

00:51:10.540 That's rude.

00:51:11.440 Like this is,

00:51:12.120 this is,

00:51:12.560 this is the epitome,

00:51:14.000 modern women selfish

00:51:14.920 because you think

00:51:15.680 because he did something to you

00:51:17.220 that is,

00:51:18.020 that is more heavy

00:51:19.240 than you doing something

00:51:20.460 to your children.

00:51:21.320 No, I'm not saying that.

00:51:22.300 I didn't say that.

00:51:23.480 I didn't say that.

00:51:24.000 This is,

00:51:24.300 this is what,

00:51:24.760 okay, okay, okay.

00:51:25.740 The man stepping out.

00:51:26.820 Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me.

00:51:27.660 Hold on, hold on.

00:51:28.500 I was making a point.

00:51:29.180 Okay, okay, okay.

00:51:30.240 You've talked a lot today.

00:51:31.660 Okay.

00:51:31.780 I've given you a lot of mic time

00:51:33.060 and I'm saying like that,

00:51:35.780 like,

00:51:36.720 I actually forgot what I was going to say.

00:51:37.900 Go ahead.

00:51:38.940 What I'm saying is

00:51:39.940 the man,

00:51:40.640 especially when he has children,

00:51:41.780 he needs to understand

00:51:42.560 the repercussions is

00:51:43.560 the woman's going to be hurt.

00:51:44.560 She might not get over it.

00:51:45.880 He's breaking up his family home.

00:51:47.680 He's putting his selfish needs

00:51:50.460 No, he's not.

00:51:51.160 She's breaking up the home.

00:51:52.360 Like, this is like,

00:51:53.180 like women do something

00:51:54.340 and we still put the accountability on money.

00:51:56.300 You broke up the home.

00:51:57.680 You can't say he broke up the home.

00:51:58.980 You chose to leave.

00:52:00.200 Okay.

00:52:00.520 I think we're not understanding.

00:52:02.280 A man stepping up with transparency

00:52:04.140 is very different

00:52:05.320 to a man going behind her back

00:52:06.920 and causing her.

00:52:07.960 If he said to her,

00:52:09.260 let me finish, sorry.

00:52:10.500 If he said to her,

00:52:11.300 do you know what, babe?

00:52:11.960 I need to sexually fuck this woman

00:52:13.960 because that is,

00:52:15.280 that is something of me.

00:52:16.800 I love you.

00:52:17.480 I want to be in a marriage with you,

00:52:18.900 but I just need to step out.

00:52:19.860 You're probably still going to leave.

00:52:20.540 Hold up, hold up, hold up.

00:52:21.280 No, wait, let me finish.

00:52:22.500 If she then decides to leave,

00:52:23.880 that's on her.

00:52:25.040 If she decides to say,

00:52:26.280 do you know what?

00:52:26.920 He's told me

00:52:27.540 and I can't tolerate it.

00:52:28.660 I'm going to break up my child.

00:52:29.780 That's fine.

00:52:30.400 But if he's now gone behind her back

00:52:32.080 and she's found out

00:52:32.640 and she's reacting and said,

00:52:33.620 this is disrespectful.

00:52:34.580 I'm not going to do it.

00:52:35.500 Very different.

00:52:36.140 This is nonsense.

00:52:37.140 This is just like fluff.

00:52:38.620 It's like,

00:52:38.940 if you chose to leave,

00:52:40.300 then you're responsible for leaving.

00:52:41.620 Can I just...

00:52:42.620 Like...

00:52:43.120 With these two people here,

00:52:45.920 if she was there at the beginning

00:52:47.080 and she worked just as hard as him,

00:52:48.440 I can understand her wanting half.

00:52:51.740 But what I don't understand

00:52:53.720 is that if they've got children

00:52:55.100 and he cheated

00:52:57.160 and she's willing to split up the family

00:53:00.660 because he's cheated

00:53:02.300 and everybody's going to say,

00:53:03.940 oh no, she's right,

00:53:04.860 she's entitled to because he cheated.

00:53:06.860 She's a woman.

00:53:07.840 But look what she's putting her child through

00:53:09.360 by getting married again.

00:53:11.220 So what's worse,

00:53:12.160 putting your child through

00:53:12.960 a second bad relationship

00:53:14.800 or sticking and working it out

00:53:16.620 with the original father?

00:53:18.140 Sorry,

00:53:18.640 I'm struggling here

00:53:20.140 to understand

00:53:21.240 how we're missing the fact

00:53:23.100 that he put the family

00:53:25.200 in this situation.

00:53:27.080 I don't think...

00:53:28.020 Look,

00:53:28.440 I'm not saying that

00:53:29.500 what he did isn't wrong.

00:53:31.100 I'm not saying what he did isn't wrong.

00:53:32.500 I'm just saying that

00:53:33.140 two wrongs don't make a right 100%.

00:53:35.780 But him stepping out

00:53:37.360 and busting out

00:53:38.400 and we discussed

00:53:39.420 how meaningless sex can be to men.

00:53:41.180 We know how meaningless it can be.

00:53:43.480 So you're going to break up a home

00:53:45.760 over something that was meaningless.

00:53:47.060 He doesn't have another relationship.

00:53:48.860 He's not providing resources.

00:53:49.840 He doesn't love this woman.

00:53:51.220 Regardless of the situation

00:53:52.120 as to why he did it,

00:53:54.120 the reasons for him stepping out

00:53:55.920 do not equate to the reasons

00:53:57.580 you're breaking up a home.

00:53:58.520 Can I ask you a question?

00:53:59.280 It doesn't equate.

00:53:59.940 And men and women cheating is different.

00:54:03.100 Like how many women

00:54:03.880 get attention from other men

00:54:05.360 all the time?

00:54:06.960 All the time.

00:54:07.520 Look at half the girls on the show.

00:54:09.280 Like they'll be in a relationship.

00:54:10.600 I'll look at their Instagram.

00:54:11.720 Ass pic.

00:54:12.500 Ass pic.

00:54:13.220 Ass pic.

00:54:13.660 That's cheating too.

00:54:14.720 But the thing is

00:54:15.440 is that everybody's saying that

00:54:17.100 oh then cheating's bad.

00:54:18.540 You're not supposed to cheat.

00:54:19.880 But what's worse?

00:54:21.600 Forgiving your husband

00:54:23.020 for cheating

00:54:23.840 or divorcing

00:54:25.500 when you've got children

00:54:26.660 and putting your child

00:54:28.320 through a second marriage

00:54:29.920 that you've effed up.

00:54:31.580 What's going to be more traumatic

00:54:32.820 for the child?

00:54:33.800 At the end of the day

00:54:34.500 we've all been saying

00:54:35.300 that when you get married

00:54:36.180 it's about the child.

00:54:37.360 I'm not going to say

00:54:38.160 that what he done was right

00:54:39.380 but what I'm saying

00:54:40.420 that what she done was worse.

00:54:43.200 Because she didn't just leave

00:54:44.400 and say I'm going to raise my child

00:54:45.480 we're going to work it out

00:54:46.160 and co-parent

00:54:46.760 or I'm going to forgive you.

00:54:48.920 She went and married somebody else

00:54:50.420 and now she's getting divorced

00:54:51.360 with that person

00:54:52.040 and that's what she's putting out.

00:54:53.340 I think it's funny

00:54:54.100 that we're saying

00:54:54.700 that the woman

00:54:55.340 isn't taking accountability

00:54:56.400 this time.

00:54:57.820 The problem starts with the man.

00:54:59.240 What did I just say?

00:54:59.820 What did I just say?

00:55:00.780 No, it does.

00:55:01.460 I just said that.

00:55:02.560 But do you know

00:55:02.920 the way I think about

00:55:04.220 relationships

00:55:04.780 and marriage and stuff

00:55:05.840 I think it's a partnership

00:55:08.320 absolutely.

00:55:09.480 It is, yeah.

00:55:10.100 I have to be right

00:55:11.120 to be able

00:55:11.900 if I have children

00:55:12.560 I have to be right

00:55:13.180 to be able to take care

00:55:13.800 of my children.

00:55:14.560 My partnership

00:55:15.060 has to be strong

00:55:15.780 and solid

00:55:16.200 for my children

00:55:17.160 to be a good result

00:55:18.800 of this great partnership

00:55:20.420 right?

00:55:20.820 I understand that

00:55:21.560 that's cool.

00:55:22.520 I personally don't believe

00:55:23.800 in staying

00:55:25.280 in any situation

00:55:26.560 because of my children

00:55:28.420 because I believe

00:55:29.280 the way I'm set up

00:55:30.300 I might be more useful

00:55:32.500 to my children

00:55:33.120 I might be a better mother

00:55:34.080 to my children

00:55:34.820 if I'm not

00:55:36.000 in a toxic situation

00:55:37.240 for a minute

00:55:37.900 It don't have to be toxic

00:55:38.900 No, no, wait, wait

00:55:39.600 let me finish

00:55:40.260 please let me finish

00:55:40.840 I don't believe

00:55:42.380 in staying in a situation

00:55:43.440 if someone cheats on me

00:55:45.020 to me I class that

00:55:46.060 as toxic

00:55:46.600 as toxic

00:55:47.140 because I know

00:55:47.640 how it would affect me

00:55:48.900 this is personal

00:55:49.940 to me

00:55:50.600 so I don't believe

00:55:52.000 in me

00:55:52.620 staying in a situation

00:55:53.820 because I don't want

00:55:54.680 to break the family

00:55:55.820 Wait, wait, wait

00:55:57.020 let me finish

00:55:57.940 let me finish

00:55:58.640 in my opinion

00:55:59.900 in a marriage

00:56:01.480 you know

00:56:02.680 you should know

00:56:03.120 your partner

00:56:03.520 so you know

00:56:04.680 what it is

00:56:05.220 that I want

00:56:06.060 what I will tolerate

00:56:06.740 and what I wouldn't tolerate

00:56:07.500 you know

00:56:07.840 the boundaries

00:56:08.180 that I've set

00:56:08.600 you know

00:56:08.840 the vows

00:56:09.280 that I shared with you

00:56:10.640 if you cheat on me

00:56:12.580 there's

00:56:13.940 you should have been

00:56:15.140 you are aware

00:56:15.780 that there's a risk

00:56:16.680 that I might walk away

00:56:18.080 so if the family breaks up

00:56:20.520 you are the starting point

00:56:22.100 of that

00:56:22.300 you started that

00:56:23.260 but you said

00:56:23.900 there's a risk

00:56:24.400 it's not a definite

00:56:25.060 there's a risk

00:56:25.700 so he took that risk

00:56:26.640 no no no

00:56:27.140 it's not a definite

00:56:27.820 it was a definite

00:56:28.720 maybe he wouldn't have done it

00:56:29.620 but you said

00:56:30.880 that he must know

00:56:31.640 there's a risk

00:56:32.240 there's a risk

00:56:33.260 it's not a definite

00:56:34.620 and he took the risk

00:56:35.700 and at the end of the day

00:56:36.740 and the risk

00:56:36.860 has led us to a broken family

00:56:37.940 and that's your fault

00:56:38.700 you know what I can say

00:56:39.740 I can say

00:56:40.280 is it your fault

00:56:40.720 for not managing your emotions

00:56:42.220 no it's not

00:56:43.060 it's not

00:56:43.600 it's not

00:56:44.180 stop stop

00:56:46.300 sorry can I say something

00:56:46.980 managing my emotions

00:56:47.940 does not mean me

00:56:49.020 tolerating bullshit

00:56:49.840 does not mean me

00:56:50.860 neglecting how I feel

00:56:52.320 to be mature

00:56:53.440 okay okay okay

00:56:54.100 okay as an adult

00:56:55.440 it literally does

00:56:56.400 no not in my books

00:56:58.120 it literally means

00:56:59.520 managing your emotions

00:57:00.680 when things just don't go your way

00:57:02.180 it doesn't mean tolerating bullshit

00:57:04.140 can I just say

00:57:04.800 it's okay saying

00:57:06.140 that you would do this

00:57:07.620 and this and this

00:57:08.320 when you've got no children

00:57:09.380 okay

00:57:10.060 I don't think I need to have children

00:57:11.040 to tell you what I would do

00:57:11.780 but

00:57:12.680 I don't need to have children

00:57:15.680 to tell you what I would do

00:57:16.180 because I'm sorry

00:57:17.400 and these are the same women

00:57:18.960 that are going to go and turn around

00:57:20.200 and say that when they're pregnant

00:57:21.540 you're going to get the whole

00:57:22.300 hormones

00:57:22.580 you're going to get feelings

00:57:23.740 your feelings change

00:57:24.840 then it all change

00:57:25.520 when you're pregnant

00:57:26.080 but yet she's going to

00:57:27.100 stop interrupting her

00:57:28.120 I'm going to feel the same

00:57:29.020 when I've had a child

00:57:29.860 when you've had a child

00:57:30.920 come back and tell me that

00:57:32.200 when you've had a child

00:57:32.940 because as far as I'm concerned

00:57:34.060 it's totally different

00:57:35.060 because you're quite happy to say

00:57:36.420 I've just turned around

00:57:37.360 and said

00:57:37.720 I'm not excusing his cheating

00:57:39.220 he's married

00:57:40.280 right

00:57:40.960 to the woman

00:57:41.540 she's decided that

00:57:42.740 she can't accept his cheating

00:57:44.060 so she's going to divorce him

00:57:45.500 fair enough

00:57:45.980 what is worse

00:57:46.700 accepting his cheating

00:57:47.840 or putting the child

00:57:49.080 through a second marriage

00:57:50.520 that is what I'm saying

00:57:51.580 because surely

00:57:52.580 it's got to be better

00:57:53.460 to forgive him

00:57:54.620 move on

00:57:55.800 get counselling for her trauma

00:57:57.400 and then get on with the relationship

00:57:59.540 and raise her child

00:58:00.480 than it is

00:58:01.180 to put her child through

00:58:02.420 a second toxic relationship

00:58:04.480 that's what I'm trying to say

00:58:06.040 and if we're going to turn around

00:58:07.620 and say

00:58:07.960 put your children first

00:58:09.680 all the women are going to say

00:58:11.180 oh my hormones

00:58:12.740 and when I had my child

00:58:13.860 I felt like this

00:58:14.580 that's what I'm trying to say

00:58:15.560 spoken

00:58:16.500 like a person

00:58:17.700 that has

00:58:18.620 no children

00:58:19.800 and I think

00:58:20.640 so are you married to your

00:58:21.860 partner

00:58:22.540 that you've been with

00:58:23.940 why?

00:58:24.940 I'm trying to see that

00:58:25.880 I'm thinking

00:58:26.520 my son is 36 years old

00:58:28.240 that's fair

00:58:28.660 I must say

00:58:29.140 I was a single parent

00:58:30.340 I met him as a single parent

00:58:32.340 and we've been together 32 years

00:58:34.040 because I refused his proposal

00:58:35.500 that's fair

00:58:36.420 but I think

00:58:37.220 and if he cheated on me

00:58:38.900 I will still forgive him

00:58:40.140 because I think that

00:58:41.440 him having a bit of front

00:58:43.000 with someone

00:58:43.480 is less important

00:58:44.580 than me

00:58:45.120 and our relationship

00:58:46.060 and the foundation

00:58:46.800 that we've built

00:58:47.500 so there's no way

00:58:48.500 would I put

00:58:48.980 even though my child's old

00:58:50.760 and I've got no reason

00:58:51.620 to stay because of a child

00:58:52.840 I will stay because

00:58:54.120 I'm worth better

00:58:55.720 than a piece of front

00:58:56.460 that's fair

00:58:56.900 I have to respond to that

00:58:58.560 I'm so sorry

00:58:58.940 the same way you think

00:59:00.060 that I can't comment

00:59:00.740 because I don't have children

00:59:01.520 I can't accept

00:59:03.020 what you're saying to me

00:59:03.600 because you're not

00:59:04.260 in a marriage

00:59:04.740 what is the difference

00:59:05.480 between being with someone

00:59:06.480 for 32 years

00:59:07.360 and being married

00:59:08.080 with a ring for five

00:59:08.840 other than the ring

00:59:09.780 there's a difference

00:59:10.280 what's the difference

00:59:10.820 tell me

00:59:11.300 there's a difference

00:59:12.340 and that's fine

00:59:14.400 no I'm asking you

00:59:15.380 I'm asking you

00:59:16.140 I don't know the difference

00:59:17.400 can you educate me

00:59:18.300 and tell me what the difference is

00:59:19.440 from being in somebody

00:59:20.980 32 years

00:59:22.440 right

00:59:23.180 no problems

00:59:24.180 and being married

00:59:25.320 for two years

00:59:26.560 there are people

00:59:27.140 who are together

00:59:27.740 for 30 plus years

00:59:29.020 and then they get married

00:59:30.660 and then they get divorced

00:59:31.960 in two years

00:59:32.540 because there's a difference

00:59:33.340 there's a difference

00:59:34.160 there's a difference

00:59:34.180 no I'm asking you

00:59:34.900 what the difference is

00:59:35.640 there is a difference

00:59:36.160 okay okay

00:59:36.840 okay okay

00:59:38.020 no no wait

00:59:39.580 so so you said

00:59:41.160 there's a difference

00:59:41.800 name it

00:59:42.520 I think I think

00:59:43.580 the commitment is different

00:59:44.300 I think the level

00:59:44.840 of commitment

00:59:45.180 is absolutely different

00:59:46.200 to when you're just

00:59:46.960 cohabiting

00:59:47.440 and you're living together

00:59:48.140 and you're together

00:59:48.900 for however long

00:59:49.740 so explain it

00:59:50.540 what is the difference

00:59:51.860 it's the commitment

00:59:52.860 you said

00:59:53.340 okay

00:59:53.880 if you're from

00:59:54.400 a religious background

00:59:55.040 for example

00:59:55.540 but okay

00:59:56.180 32 years

00:59:57.200 versus

00:59:57.940 okay 32 years

00:59:58.960 versus a five year marriage

01:00:00.280 which one is more committed

01:00:01.980 I'm a Christian

01:00:03.560 I'm a religious person

01:00:04.480 okay

01:00:04.800 for me I think that

01:00:05.820 making that vow

01:00:06.900 in front of God

01:00:07.700 in front of witnesses

01:00:08.420 it's a whole different

01:00:09.740 ball game

01:00:10.300 to you being in a relationship

01:00:11.860 for 50 plus years

01:00:13.060 or however long

01:00:13.520 what if I'm not Christian

01:00:14.920 what if I'm not religious

01:00:15.780 what if my religion

01:00:17.060 what if what my beliefs

01:00:18.340 don't believe

01:00:19.080 that I should go

01:00:19.860 and sway before God

01:00:21.360 or write on a bit of paper

01:00:22.320 if I think it's just a contract

01:00:23.720 yeah and that's fair

01:00:24.800 I can I can accept that

01:00:25.880 but again

01:00:26.220 this is how I think

01:00:27.280 what makes it different

01:00:28.200 just if you

01:00:28.920 let me finish

01:00:29.420 I accept that

01:00:30.680 I understand that

01:00:31.460 but this is why I'm saying

01:00:32.360 that in my opinion

01:00:33.500 there is a difference

01:00:34.720 so because of my backgrounds

01:00:35.960 my experiences in life

01:00:36.820 and everything

01:00:37.160 things I've seen

01:00:37.740 people I've spoken to

01:00:38.860 all that kind of stuff

01:00:39.640 there's a difference

01:00:40.420 what is the difference

01:00:41.400 I'm asking you

01:00:42.220 what is the difference

01:00:42.980 I've told you

01:00:43.920 what a difference is

01:00:44.500 what religion

01:00:45.040 it's just

01:00:46.060 no it's just making a

01:00:47.080 it's a different level of commitment

01:00:48.200 no I'm asking you

01:00:49.160 what is the difference

01:00:49.800 other than that

01:00:50.320 I've only heard religion

01:00:51.240 I've told you

01:00:52.140 it's a different level of commitment

01:00:52.920 no but religion

01:00:53.600 is what brought marriage together

01:00:55.040 it's like

01:00:55.640 this is kind of what women do

01:00:57.760 it's like we say nothing

01:00:58.580 it's like

01:00:59.400 you're not hearing me

01:01:00.900 no I'm literally listening

01:01:02.140 to the words

01:01:02.620 wait

01:01:03.320 I'm literally listening

01:01:05.420 to the words you're saying

01:01:06.420 and it's like

01:01:07.240 we say

01:01:07.880 you say commitment

01:01:08.520 okay what

01:01:09.120 what is the difference

01:01:09.840 what is the commitment

01:01:10.740 okay marriage

01:01:12.560 is something that

01:01:13.320 you shouldn't walk away

01:01:14.500 because it's a religious thing

01:01:15.660 you do

01:01:16.020 right

01:01:16.460 the new concept of marriage

01:01:17.660 that is done in the state

01:01:18.900 is very different

01:01:19.580 to why people married

01:01:20.800 before

01:01:21.080 and marriage is a commitment

01:01:22.680 you make in front of God

01:01:23.720 to stick by each other

01:01:24.680 in a relationship

01:01:26.140 that you're cohabiting

01:01:27.240 if you aren't

01:01:28.440 just say

01:01:28.780 you might not be religious

01:01:29.940 or for whatever reason

01:01:30.700 you can walk away

01:01:31.860 whereas in marriage

01:01:32.660 religious terms

01:01:33.400 you vow to God

01:01:34.400 that you're going to be

01:01:34.960 with that person

01:01:35.500 okay okay okay

01:01:36.620 so both of you

01:01:38.180 both of you

01:01:38.980 you're saying it's different

01:01:40.000 it's more committed

01:01:40.640 but you said

01:01:41.520 you would leave

01:01:42.240 if your partner

01:01:42.960 does something

01:01:43.460 you don't like

01:01:43.940 like cheat

01:01:44.540 and you're

01:01:46.240 and you're separated

01:01:47.300 so

01:01:47.820 and this is

01:01:49.280 and this is the church

01:01:50.280 can I just say

01:01:51.200 if we bought a house together

01:01:54.180 right

01:01:54.920 and then we decide

01:01:55.960 to separate

01:01:56.460 would the law

01:01:57.200 see me any different

01:01:58.200 for being within 32 years

01:01:59.960 or five years married

01:02:01.200 how would the law

01:02:02.360 see me

01:02:03.000 yes the law

01:02:03.540 won't see you

01:02:04.080 as his partner

01:02:04.640 they won't see you

01:02:06.160 as his legal partner

01:02:07.540 when you tick a box

01:02:08.580 you won't say

01:02:09.140 I'm married

01:02:10.020 I actually

01:02:10.620 cohabiting

01:02:11.380 cohabiting

01:02:12.400 but again

01:02:13.120 even then

01:02:13.840 when you're married

01:02:15.300 the law

01:02:16.080 sets stronger standards

01:02:17.400 on that marriage

01:02:18.260 and relationship

01:02:19.080 and how things

01:02:19.780 are divided

01:02:20.100 if there's an agreement

01:02:21.000 where you both

01:02:21.720 own the house

01:02:22.540 it doesn't matter

01:02:23.180 whether you're married

01:02:23.760 or not

01:02:24.120 that's different

01:02:24.760 I'm not talking about

01:02:26.460 when you both

01:02:26.960 own the house

01:02:27.440 obviously it's going

01:02:27.940 to equally be divided

01:02:28.980 that's what I'm trying

01:02:29.620 to say

01:02:29.920 32 years

01:02:30.760 you're going to have

01:02:31.160 things jointly anyway

01:02:32.100 auntie coming back

01:02:32.860 to the comment you made

01:02:33.940 so now I want to flip it

01:02:35.300 to just say

01:02:35.920 a woman and a man

01:02:36.720 are married happily

01:02:37.500 the woman steps out

01:02:38.920 for whatever reason

01:02:39.840 she steps out

01:02:40.700 she comes and tells her man

01:02:42.120 I've now married

01:02:42.980 he then walks away

01:02:44.220 is he the one

01:02:45.020 that's now breaking

01:02:45.680 the marriage

01:02:46.200 I said it's down

01:02:46.880 to whoever wants to do

01:02:47.680 to forgive him

01:02:48.800 okay so a man

01:02:49.640 and I think

01:02:50.240 if they've got children

01:02:51.860 then they should both

01:02:52.700 stay and work it out

01:02:53.460 okay that's fine

01:02:53.980 I've said this before

01:02:54.780 and people slated me

01:02:55.800 for it

01:02:56.120 I would stay

01:02:57.220 you would stay

01:02:57.900 if my wife stepped out

01:02:59.240 of me I would stay

01:02:59.780 under no circumstances

01:03:01.540 without the kids

01:03:02.260 being there

01:03:02.740 would I stay

01:03:03.640 but when the kids

01:03:04.520 are there

01:03:04.780 I have to put

01:03:05.600 my kids first

01:03:06.240 can I say

01:03:06.660 so what if she does it

01:03:07.400 repeatedly

01:03:07.880 no no no

01:03:08.300 can I just say this

01:03:09.680 I've been dying to say this

01:03:11.360 no no no

01:03:12.000 wait wait

01:03:12.560 can I just say this

01:03:13.520 back to your point

01:03:14.380 about marriage

01:03:15.060 and the kids

01:03:15.700 not once

01:03:17.000 has one person said

01:03:18.360 let the man have the kids

01:03:19.880 and you walk away

01:03:21.280 that's what Islam says

01:03:22.520 Islam says

01:03:23.300 no no no no

01:03:23.720 not once

01:03:24.480 has anybody here said that

01:03:25.760 no I would agree that

01:03:26.840 I'm happy because

01:03:27.080 you're unhappy

01:03:28.020 in the marriage

01:03:28.700 you got cheated on

01:03:29.540 are you happy

01:03:30.580 to let the man

01:03:31.860 have the kids

01:03:32.400 I would

01:03:32.720 and then you

01:03:33.500 do the legal part

01:03:34.960 where you pay child support

01:03:36.660 and you

01:03:37.560 you're not happy

01:03:38.480 no you don't

01:03:39.280 you don't know

01:03:39.840 what I'm happy with

01:03:40.320 you didn't let me

01:03:40.900 answer the question

01:03:41.420 I would be happy with that

01:03:42.220 listen for me

01:03:43.340 I'm doing whatever

01:03:43.980 I think is best

01:03:44.760 for my children

01:03:45.240 if I'm going to be

01:03:46.020 in the marriage

01:03:46.380 and I'm going to be

01:03:46.800 miserable

01:03:47.120 and I can't let go

01:03:48.060 of this hurt

01:03:48.640 that's not going

01:03:50.580 to be good

01:03:51.100 for my children

01:03:51.680 so if for me

01:03:52.880 leaving this marriage

01:03:54.040 will actually be

01:03:55.180 more beneficial

01:03:55.660 to raise my children

01:03:56.540 with healthy parents

01:03:58.440 I'm going to do that

01:03:59.260 for me I'm assessing

01:04:00.320 whatever is best

01:04:01.360 but I don't have

01:04:02.040 the mindset

01:04:02.480 where I

01:04:02.920 I don't believe

01:04:03.940 every woman

01:04:04.360 is able

01:04:05.420 to let go

01:04:06.520 of this

01:04:06.820 like there's

01:04:07.280 certain things

01:04:07.620 I might

01:04:07.940 I may be able

01:04:08.680 to tolerate

01:04:09.140 and but then

01:04:10.360 cheating is where

01:04:10.820 I draw the line

01:04:11.300 but there's something

01:04:11.660 else that you

01:04:12.060 might be able

01:04:12.320 to tolerate

01:04:12.480 and I'm like

01:04:12.800 oh I'm fine

01:04:13.220 I just want to say

01:04:15.980 that the women

01:04:16.560 from the 1950s

01:04:17.760 would think

01:04:18.060 we were so soft

01:04:18.940 I swear to God

01:04:19.720 because they stayed

01:04:20.980 when their man

01:04:21.500 had a whole family

01:04:22.680 across town

01:04:23.360 and they weren't

01:04:23.780 leaving

01:04:24.060 they were not

01:04:25.000 wait let me just

01:04:25.540 ask a quick question

01:04:26.240 yeah

01:04:26.460 so do you see

01:04:27.700 a man stepping out

01:04:28.520 and a woman

01:04:28.920 stepping out the same

01:04:29.700 let's say

01:04:30.040 we're married with kids

01:04:30.780 is a man

01:04:31.260 is it exactly the same

01:04:32.660 I'm saying it's irrelevant

01:04:33.520 because kids are involved

01:04:34.460 no wait I'm laughing

01:04:35.760 is it exactly the same

01:04:37.400 no it's irrelevant

01:04:38.120 so what

01:04:39.740 a man cheating

01:04:40.380 and a woman cheating

01:04:41.040 means the same thing

01:04:41.920 in a relationship

01:04:42.460 yeah because for me

01:04:43.360 the bond

01:04:45.220 the trust is broken

01:04:46.180 I hear that

01:04:47.060 but I'm saying

01:04:47.520 yes it's the same thing

01:04:48.840 to me yeah

01:04:49.200 it's the same thing

01:04:49.860 yeah

01:04:50.040 because okay

01:04:50.740 it's not the same thing

01:04:52.240 because a woman

01:04:52.940 a woman stepping out

01:04:54.240 sorry

01:04:54.660 it's the same thing

01:04:55.980 to me

01:04:56.640 I understand that

01:04:57.380 yeah

01:04:57.640 so you can't say

01:04:58.340 it's not the same thing

01:04:59.000 but it's not though

01:04:59.600 no I hear it in your opinion

01:05:01.040 but generally speaking

01:05:02.400 it's not the same thing

01:05:03.180 because I'm saying

01:05:04.000 if I can accept

01:05:04.900 for my kids

01:05:06.000 for the betterment

01:05:06.520 of my children

01:05:07.160 when it means more

01:05:08.460 for a woman to step out

01:05:09.160 than it means for a man

01:05:09.860 to step out

01:05:10.360 then I don't see

01:05:11.320 how you're saying

01:05:11.860 that you couldn't deal

01:05:12.680 with the situation

01:05:13.680 because I'm thinking

01:05:14.140 to myself

01:05:14.580 I'm thinking to myself

01:05:15.660 if people

01:05:16.540 if we all behaved that way

01:05:17.960 then we wouldn't have

01:05:19.400 a society

01:05:19.780 because if I want to act

01:05:20.580 based on emotion

01:05:21.260 someone could slap me

01:05:22.640 and I'd just kill him

01:05:23.280 yeah then let's all stop cheating

01:05:24.440 let's all stop cheating

01:05:25.940 if you did

01:05:27.040 anyway

01:05:27.760 yeah

01:05:28.140 if you don't cheat

01:05:29.260 you don't put me in this position

01:05:30.840 to have to walk away

01:05:31.940 so the simple solution

01:05:33.680 don't cheat

01:05:34.500 and be honest

01:05:35.300 if you can do monogamy

01:05:36.320 be honest about that

01:05:37.000 if you can't do monogamy

01:05:37.760 be honest about that

01:05:38.660 and then that way

01:05:39.180 I wouldn't have to

01:05:39.640 I wouldn't have to

01:05:40.420 I wouldn't have to make the decision

01:05:42.140 to step away

01:05:43.600 then I could say

01:05:44.700 marry men

01:05:45.480 who are less likely to cheat

01:05:47.060 but you don't want to do that either

01:05:48.040 so again

01:05:48.780 I could easily say to women

01:05:56.400 the way you can blasé say

01:05:58.200 oh just don't cheat

01:05:59.260 and that's the solution

01:06:00.120 I could say

01:06:00.540 well the biggest solution

01:06:01.640 to the betterment of society

01:06:02.560 is by and large

01:06:03.280 is don't sleep with the same men

01:06:05.100 who just fit one certain bracket

01:06:07.280 but women don't want to do that either

01:06:08.420 but you know

01:06:08.700 when I speak about stuff

01:06:10.080 yeah

01:06:10.280 I'm speaking

01:06:10.960 knowing the kind of men

01:06:11.820 like I would go for

01:06:13.100 I'm speaking

01:06:13.640 knowing what commitment means to me

01:06:15.600 I'm speaking

01:06:16.240 do you get me

01:06:17.080 this is where I'm coming from

01:06:18.520 do you get me

01:06:18.800 so I don't

01:06:19.680 my social media does not dictate to me

01:06:21.480 what my relationship is going to be like

01:06:22.780 what my marriage is going to be like

01:06:24.180 what social media

01:06:25.220 or anything that is not me

01:06:27.180 doesn't dictate to me

01:06:28.120 what anything is going to be like

01:06:29.260 do you get me

01:06:29.520 so when I'm saying that

01:06:30.980 if a man cheats on me

01:06:32.400 it's not something I'm going to be able to deal with

01:06:33.880 it's because I know how seriously

01:06:36.000 I take commitments

01:06:36.980 so for me like

01:06:38.760 breaking that

01:06:39.900 it's a massive thing to me

01:06:42.180 but don't you think your kid's future

01:06:44.220 should be a massive thing to you

01:06:46.120 it will be

01:06:46.980 and when it comes to like

01:06:48.340 okay should I manage my emotions

01:06:50.660 or put my kid at every statistical advantage

01:06:53.400 disadvantage that I possibly could

01:06:55.300 maybe you should put them first

01:06:57.520 remember again I said

01:06:58.400 I'm doing the best thing

01:06:59.260 that I think will work

01:07:00.120 even as a Christian woman

01:07:01.760 like they tell you to forgive

01:07:03.020 no but except when it's infidelity

01:07:04.700 infidelity and obviously

01:07:06.520 abuse and stuff is when you can actually divorce

01:07:08.380 and it's in the bible

01:07:09.000 but my thing is again

01:07:10.080 I'm going on what

01:07:11.280 I don't know where I might be

01:07:12.420 God forbid my husband does cheat on me

01:07:13.980 I might be in a place where

01:07:15.280 I'm actually like

01:07:15.820 do you know what

01:07:16.300 I'm able to forgive this

01:07:17.900 and move on

01:07:18.840 so but this all depends on

01:07:21.020 what I'm going to assess my situation

01:07:22.840 and assess what's best for my children

01:07:24.920 if I'm going to be there

01:07:25.920 because I don't believe in staying with a man

01:07:27.520 who cheated on me

01:07:28.320 I'm bringing up every chance he gets

01:07:30.340 I don't believe

01:07:30.840 I can

01:07:31.400 I'm not going to stay with you

01:07:32.660 and then every day of my life

01:07:33.960 you do

01:07:34.200 you make a slight mistake

01:07:35.240 and I'm like

01:07:35.680 well last time you cheated

01:07:37.040 or he's like

01:07:37.480 I'm going at my boys

01:07:38.440 I'm like what

01:07:39.000 are you going to go

01:07:39.380 are you going to go to some girl

01:07:40.460 I don't believe in that

01:07:41.320 I don't believe in torment

01:07:42.180 if I tell you I forgive you about something

01:07:44.220 I'm not bringing that up

01:07:46.200 to make your life miserable

01:07:47.140 so if I actually find myself in a place

01:07:49.040 where I cannot

01:07:49.780 I can't

01:07:50.860 I can't let this go

01:07:51.920 it's not

01:07:52.980 it's not helpful to anybody

01:07:53.980 you know what

01:07:54.240 I would say though

01:07:55.220 that

01:07:55.500 if a man steps out on you

01:07:57.700 and you have the conversation

01:07:58.840 about potentially taking him back

01:08:00.140 you should only take him back

01:08:01.640 on the pretense

01:08:02.180 that he makes a sacrifice

01:08:03.080 so like

01:08:04.180 so it's a situation where

01:08:05.620 if he

01:08:06.500 let's say he got too drunk

01:08:07.940 and he was with the boys

01:08:08.760 and he slipped and fell in the nanny

01:08:10.220 then he can no longer do that

01:08:12.220 do you know what I mean

01:08:12.860 so like

01:08:13.280 you should only really get back with a guy

01:08:15.160 unless he shows

01:08:16.220 how much he's willing to get back with you

01:08:18.080 and he makes a sacrifice

01:08:19.200 to have you build that trust back in him

01:08:21.740 and this is why I'm also the woman who doesn't

01:08:23.480 when something happens

01:08:24.300 I don't react

01:08:25.080 because I like to have conversations

01:08:26.660 I like to

01:08:27.260 I don't like

01:08:27.760 I don't react to stuff in the moment like that

01:08:29.660 because I don't want to do anything I'm going to regret

01:08:31.120 so that kind of conversation

01:08:32.060 I'm having that conversation

01:08:32.880 what is it that led you to cheat

01:08:34.660 what happened

01:08:35.300 what was the circumstance

01:08:36.520 is it the friends you have

01:08:37.400 yes you're right

01:08:38.240 because if it's the friends

01:08:38.920 say for example

01:08:39.540 you're a married man

01:08:40.460 all your friends are single

01:08:41.300 when you go out

01:08:42.160 you feel some kind of pressure

01:08:43.140 because obviously they're pulling girls or whatever

01:08:44.620 we need to talk about that

01:08:45.880 that needs to change then

01:08:46.560 do you get what I mean

01:08:46.920 but again this is

01:08:48.060 again this is all part of my process

01:08:49.820 of assessing what is best

01:08:51.520 so under those circumstances

01:08:52.660 could you potentially take a go back

01:08:55.260 under those circumstances

01:08:56.620 I think yeah

01:08:57.240 I think if we're going to have a conversation

01:08:58.300 because obviously we'll do therapy

01:08:59.560 do all that kind of stuff

01:09:00.260 if I actually feel like

01:09:01.100 do you know what

01:09:01.460 I can be with you

01:09:02.360 and this is not going to be a pattern

01:09:03.260 that repeats itself

01:09:04.120 yes but if you cheat a second time

01:09:06.620 then it's done

01:09:08.540 then I get that

01:09:09.940 but I'm also the person who

01:09:11.380 I have more grace

01:09:12.680 if I

01:09:13.540 if you come to me

01:09:14.460 and tell me the truth

01:09:15.000 hopefully yeah

01:09:15.540 let me find it out

01:09:16.440 yeah okay

01:09:17.100 different ballgame

01:09:17.680 you

JustPearlyThings - August 10, 2023

Single Mother Gets DESTROYED For Lying About Her Ex

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