JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023


The ANSWER She Gave Was SHOCKING


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

202.83264

Word count

2,468

Sentence count

215

Harmful content

Misogyny

17

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the sacrifices women make when it comes to being a mother and a wife. Can a woman pursue a career and a family at the same time without making sacrifices? Not in today's society, does it make sense?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Can a woman pursue a career in a family at the same time without making sacrifices? 1.00
00:00:09.140 Not in today's society, Babs.
00:00:12.560 I think not ever.
00:00:14.020 I think even the women, us modern women that are doing it now,
00:00:18.200 it's just, it's a huge sacrifice.
00:00:20.040 Back then, I think it was a thing where you're a mother, you're a wife.
00:00:24.660 That's just like, that should be your number one priority.
00:00:27.820 Can't afford to live like that anymore though.
00:00:30.280 Exactly.
00:00:31.120 But then again, that's the situation we found ourselves in.
00:00:33.700 In this day and age, you can either do one or you can do both.
00:00:38.280 You can either just stick to the olden days, be the woman at home or whatever, 1.00
00:00:42.300 or you can try to do both.
00:00:43.600 But doing both, you are going to sacrifice a lot of time, energy, money and stuff.
00:00:48.400 So it's a lot.
00:00:50.620 You're going to have to, you can't do equally the same for both.
00:00:55.360 You're going to have to do one or the other.
00:00:56.980 Well, and if you're not watching the kids, who is?
00:00:59.740 Yeah.
00:01:00.140 Is it a nanny? 0.98
00:01:01.160 Immigrant.
00:01:01.640 Yeah.
00:01:02.620 Yeah.
00:01:04.020 He's trying to get fast.
00:01:06.220 Yeah.
00:01:07.320 That's just true.
00:01:08.100 To be fair, I have a child and what is it, I was at uni and I decided to like work on
00:01:17.340 the side as well because I got a really good job, the career that I wanted to go into was
00:01:22.340 selling property.
00:01:23.400 So I got that job and I had one last year of uni and I had a child.
00:01:27.740 So I thought I could do all three, which was silly of me.
00:01:31.940 But then I found that my son at the age of two spent like long hours in nursery and that
00:01:36.700 costs like a thousand pounds a month alone.
00:01:39.520 And then I got to a point, I'm like, wait, you're actually being silly.
00:01:42.420 You can't do it all.
00:01:43.900 You need to give one up.
00:01:45.360 So obviously I had to stop the job, even though it was like the last thing that I'd rather,
00:01:49.900 I wanted to give up.
00:01:51.320 That's why it took me so long and I sacrificed so much, but I'm like, I'm not even enjoying
00:01:56.400 the job anymore because I'm not choosing the things that as a woman I should be prioritizing.
00:02:02.140 So when I gave that up, I was a bit more like happier.
00:02:05.560 I could spend more time with my son, focus more on my uni, get the grades that I needed.
00:02:10.820 So it just shows you there.
00:02:12.760 Do you feel like your son was happier?
00:02:14.680 What, in nursery?
00:02:15.600 No, home.
00:02:17.060 Oh, 100%.
00:02:18.140 I would say I'll put my hands up and say that's something that I had to go through
00:02:21.240 to know, to understand, because I just thought, you know what?
00:02:25.060 Yeah, this age that he is, his friends are in nursery and stuff.
00:02:28.480 But I realized that the week that I stopped working and I spent more time with him,
00:02:33.920 I realized stuff that I never really acknowledged.
00:02:36.640 And he was really, really sad.
00:02:38.280 I literally sat down in his bed.
00:02:39.820 I was crying.
00:02:40.380 I was like, I'm never going to work again.
00:02:42.460 And you don't know who's influencing your kids.
00:02:44.960 Yeah, who's raising them.
00:02:45.860 That's where you get, like, even I have a little sister and like, I come from a pretty
00:02:50.420 conservative background.
00:02:51.440 And she came out like a raging liberal out of high school because she had some, 0.96
00:02:55.400 it was like a horseback riding teacher that was like this hippie. 0.63
00:02:58.320 Yeah.
00:03:00.160 And now she's like, free love.
00:03:01.740 I'm like, where did this come from?
00:03:04.380 That is so true.
00:03:05.440 She's got all these tattoos. 0.99
00:03:06.300 I'm like, what the?
00:03:06.840 No, that is so true because at that point I realized that, oh, actually someone else is
00:03:13.160 raising my son, even though to society and this day and age, it's like, oh, he's in
00:03:18.620 nursery.
00:03:19.060 You have to work.
00:03:19.720 You have to do this.
00:03:20.420 But no, I'd rather actually be the typical woman at home that takes care of my child. 0.96
00:03:24.580 So then I know that I have a part in him being raised and what's going into his head.
00:03:30.100 He started speaking, saying the words that I've never heard him speak about, speak certain
00:03:35.460 conversations we're having after.
00:03:37.060 And I was like, I don't know my child.
00:03:39.140 I could sadly say that I did not know my child.
00:03:41.440 Because it wasn't your child at that point.
00:03:42.700 It was the state's child.
00:03:44.120 Basically, they were raising him with that small £1,000 a month.
00:03:48.180 It wasn't worth it at all.
00:03:51.100 Do you not think that having diverse friendship groups is important for a child to grow?
00:03:57.880 Not really.
00:03:58.880 Because don't you reckon, like, when we travel the world, right, I love that you're, like,
00:04:03.260 shaking your head, ready?
00:04:04.260 You're like, oh, I'm ready.
00:04:05.680 I'm going to gear up for this motherfucker.
00:04:07.960 But, like, you know, all of us are adults.
00:04:09.860 We've all traveled the world.
00:04:11.060 We've got to meet new people.
00:04:12.500 We've had a great time.
00:04:13.540 And in that has meant that our personality and our person has grown.
00:04:18.180 Then why can't you teach all of that to your child?
00:04:20.260 I'm not saying why not.
00:04:21.600 I'm definitely not.
00:04:22.700 Absolutely not.
00:04:23.620 You don't need a million different influencers to tell them what to do.
00:04:26.320 Not at all.
00:04:27.300 Not at all.
00:04:28.100 But part of that comes from playing with other friends.
00:04:32.000 And, you know, having experiences from other people.
00:04:34.040 That's very different.
00:04:34.840 Like, having your child having friends is totally, totally different from the state.
00:04:40.360 As in, you know, schools or nannies or, you know, whatever.
00:04:43.280 Like, these examples we've given.
00:04:44.400 It's very different from them influencing your child with a certain doctrine and a certain worldview and certain values.
00:04:50.700 That's very, very different.
00:04:51.580 Because you want your child to have the whole, ideally, I would hope, wholesome values that you and your partner believe in.
00:04:59.160 Because you want them to be your kid.
00:05:00.980 Because at the end of the day, that's your child.
00:05:03.200 That's one thing I realized.
00:05:04.160 If you don't protect your children in certain specific ways when they're growing up, even if they end up being fucked up or being influenced by something, even slightly so small, that's your child that is fucked, not them. 0.75
00:05:16.320 So I would say that I'm really glad I didn't grow up to be like my mum.
00:05:21.100 I'm just going to say that with all the love to her.
00:05:24.480 Like, she did some pretty bad things.
00:05:26.960 Yeah, but would you want your kids to grow up to be like you?
00:05:29.800 I'd like them to make their own choices to a degree.
00:05:32.760 Do you think a kid's just messing up the world?
00:05:35.100 I think that I'm going to help, for sure.
00:05:37.560 But if my kid's like, fuck you, I don't want to stay at home.
00:05:41.280 I don't want to do this kind of like education.
00:05:43.260 What if he's 12?
00:05:44.220 Are you going to let him go?
00:05:45.740 Make his own choice in the world?
00:05:47.180 I think that's a bit of a sweeping generalization.
00:05:51.500 I'm putting it into reality.
00:05:55.540 So you said you want your kids to make your own choices.
00:05:57.480 So I'm saying a 12-year-old wants to make his own choice.
00:06:00.220 He's going out into the world.
00:06:01.360 So I think what the container might be is like we're worried that it's going to be a completely different upbringing.
00:06:06.080 Like we're going to bring in wholesome values and then the kid's going to go off and go, oh, I'm going to go do tattoos or I'm going to go in like.
00:06:12.520 It happens.
00:06:13.160 I've seen it happen in my own house.
00:06:15.000 With your sister, right?
00:06:16.160 Yeah.
00:06:16.320 No, I've seen it happen.
00:06:17.860 So why do you think like there'll be conservative Christian parents?
00:06:21.960 They come home with these liberal ass kids. 1.00
00:06:23.580 Who taught them that?
00:06:24.380 Is she happy, your sister?
00:06:27.320 I think that's what it comes down to, right?
00:06:29.220 No, I would say she struggled more with mental health than any of my other siblings.
00:06:31.760 She's confused.
00:06:32.720 That's what happens.
00:06:33.580 Confusion happens.
00:06:34.340 Do you think that's like correlation or causation?
00:06:36.980 I think the liberals caused it.
00:06:38.300 Yeah.
00:06:38.860 Yeah.
00:06:39.600 Yeah.
00:06:40.360 Yeah.
00:06:40.980 Yeah.
00:06:43.640 That was the moment.
00:06:44.440 I think my sister was a baby loving, wanted to be a nurse, wanted all these, like, like, she's probably more naturally like motherly than any of the girls.
00:06:55.040 I would say she's a better cook than all of us. 1.00
00:06:56.840 She's better with babies than all of us. 0.96
00:06:58.540 She's like the most natural mother and the liberals got her. 0.91
00:07:02.060 Destroyed her.
00:07:02.860 Just got her.
00:07:04.340 But look at this.
00:07:05.600 Like, so fundamentally, like, if you're a parent and you're trying to instill your worldview in your kids, you want the best for them because they're your kid.
00:07:13.280 You want them to be happy.
00:07:13.940 In an ideal scenario.
00:07:14.200 You genuinely want, okay, ideally, right?
00:07:16.480 I mean, I think that applies to 99.99% of parents, right?
00:07:19.860 There's a minority of maybe dickheads, okay?
00:07:22.600 Or concede that there's some dickheads.
00:07:24.540 Yeah.
00:07:25.060 But I think the majority of parents want the best for their kid.
00:07:27.780 They want them to be fulfilled in life and have a happy life.
00:07:30.240 However, when you put that child under the influence of the state or whoever else, they have an agenda.
00:07:37.300 And they're going to – they don't have the best interests of that child at heart.
00:07:40.160 They have their own interests at heart.
00:07:41.640 So they're going to try and manipulate and adjust that child to follow a certain agenda, which is beneficial to them in the long run.
00:07:47.520 And they do it en masse in the form of public schooling.
00:07:50.240 Yeah, I was going to say, so why do you have your children go to like a public school?
00:07:53.080 Oh, hell no.
00:07:53.620 My kids are getting homeschooled.
00:07:55.140 All 20 of them homeschooled.
00:07:57.300 All 20?
00:07:58.500 What's the agenda?
00:07:59.720 I don't understand what the agenda is.
00:08:01.360 Well, everything – feminism is one of the big agendas we're looking at. 1.00
00:08:03.900 Everything that she just talked about with her sister.
00:08:05.940 If they can control – if they can – if the government can have influence over your children, they have more power.
00:08:12.200 Yeah.
00:08:12.900 100%.
00:08:13.180 Because the children are the future.
00:08:14.760 They can influence elections, they can influence public policy, they can influence financial decisions, they can influence everything.
00:08:19.640 I mean, Nick might be able to talk about this more than I can.
00:08:21.840 Yeah.
00:08:22.380 Well, it's not – but it's not just about a political agenda.
00:08:26.020 It's about the immigrants, right? 0.99
00:08:27.200 Well, that's part of it.
00:08:30.540 Well, here.
00:08:32.520 Because I think it's a very simple axiom that mothers should raise their babies.
00:08:39.200 You know, we all have mothers.
00:08:40.320 We all came from mothers.
00:08:41.560 And it's a mother's role not just to have the baby but to nurture the baby, take care of the baby.
00:08:47.020 It's actually very important for a child's development, specifically in the first three months that they're with the parent.
00:08:53.460 And the only – I'm Catholic, just full disclosure – the only moral way to have sex is within marriage and without contraceptives.
00:09:00.800 So, really, women should be – they should be popping these kids out one after the other. 1.00
00:09:05.860 If you're popping these kids out and you're with them –
00:09:08.880 And you're with them.
00:09:12.380 You'll be occupied.
00:09:14.500 And you're with them for the first three years or four years, whatever.
00:09:17.960 You know, a mother – that really should be their full-time job is making their food and tucking them into bed and all that. 1.00
00:09:24.080 And it's – so, I agree, you're totally right about education and putting them in daycare or government schools.
00:09:29.600 But I look at the epidemic of people today who are messed up in the head.
00:09:34.740 Low self-esteem.
00:09:35.980 You know, they got mommy issues, daddy issues. 1.00
00:09:38.540 It's because mom wasn't home.
00:09:39.620 It's because dad wasn't home.
00:09:40.840 They literally didn't get enough love as a child.
00:09:43.040 Now, they seek validation through dating, sex, romance, which really, you know, that – I don't think that's actually the healthiest thing.
00:09:50.940 So, the other thing, the immigrant thing, which, you know, hit me back on that.
00:09:55.580 Here's the thing.
00:09:56.260 You put them in daycare, who's going to be raising these kids? 1.00
00:09:59.660 That's a real question.
00:10:01.380 It's going to be these, like, low-income people who are usually the immigrants or it's going to be other types. 1.00
00:10:06.960 And if you look at, like, retirement homes, if you look at daycares, there's some raunchy stuff that goes on in there.
00:10:12.500 You look at, like, daycares where these old white ladies are getting thrown around by these black daycare workers or retirement home workers. 1.00
00:10:20.680 There's a lot that happens.
00:10:22.360 It's not a race issue.
00:10:24.420 I don't think it's just purely immigrants.
00:10:26.580 Where is the statistics to prove that?
00:10:28.660 You know, you should look on Twitter.
00:10:30.080 You look at the video.
00:10:30.900 Look at Twitter.
00:10:32.400 Are you saying Twitter?
00:10:33.780 No, but my question is how data?
00:10:36.500 Your data is coming from Twitter.
00:10:38.360 Oh, yeah.
00:10:38.940 Am I hearing this right?
00:10:39.680 Twitter is a real world.
00:10:40.860 Yeah, she's set it up really well.
00:10:44.980 So, can I just say, I wanted to bring along today, like, two little signs, right?
00:10:49.960 One that says generalization and the other one that said subjective.
00:10:54.860 So, you have just come out with so much sweeping generalization.
00:11:00.580 Going, all of the schools are like this.
00:11:02.640 All the nannies are like that. 1.00
00:11:04.220 All the women need to be like this. 1.00
00:11:05.880 And all the mothers are like that. 1.00
00:11:07.140 We are literally in such a diverse planet.
00:11:10.500 How on earth?
00:11:11.680 But seriously, how the fuck can you sit there and go, all things should be A when we live
00:11:17.120 in a huge planet with loads of different societies in it?
00:11:20.240 Because we're all basically the same.
00:11:22.000 Are we?
00:11:22.680 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:23.520 Come on.
00:11:24.480 That's true.
00:11:25.100 Oh, for God's sake.
00:11:25.840 That's the fundamental conceit.
00:11:28.040 I'm going to plunk you in the Middle East and then ask you that question.
00:11:31.480 Are you the same as everyone around you?
00:11:33.780 I could jump in really quickly.
00:11:34.960 I've spent a significant amount of time in the Middle East.
00:11:37.200 You'd be surprised.
00:11:37.580 You're a very unique individual, darling.
00:11:38.880 I'm going to say, you'd be surprised how similar that everybody is.
00:11:44.620 I've traveled to a lot of different countries and everyone is very, very similar in terms
00:11:49.080 of what makes a good, happy family.
00:11:51.860 Oh, it's a loving mother and a father.
00:11:54.280 The mother stays at home and looks like things. 0.99
00:11:55.720 These generalizations are generalizations for a reason.
00:11:58.920 It's a pattern recognition thing.
00:12:00.640 When you start to see the same thing making a positive impact again and again and again,
00:12:04.600 you start to realize, okay, that's probably the correct way for humans to operate.
00:12:07.880 So you have got a basis.