The BEST Way To TRAIN Your CHILDREN
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
183.47975
Summary
In this episode, Pastor Ken and I talk about how we raised our kids and how we were able to raise them in a Christian home. We talk about our parenting style, how we disciplined our kids, and the impact it had on them.
Transcript
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What do you think is the difference between parents where like the kids grow up to resent them for the strictness and the like the ones that grow to appreciate it?
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Because I've seen both like, you know, the stereotypical pastor's daughter or like that sort of thing.
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Both Ken and I were very eye to eye on the way we trained and disciplined our kids.
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But they knew they were very loved, very loved.
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And we were very strict with, you know, disciplining them, spanking them before the age of five.
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So they don't even remember us disciplining them, you know, but they just always we taught them to obey from a very young age.
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They just always we taught them to respect us from a really young age.
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So they always respected us and listened to our opinions.
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And because we taught that to them and we were joyful.
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We let them know like a lot of kids raised in, quote, Christian homes, walk away from the faith.
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And from what from what I've observed, it's my the friends I know who are critical, complaining, negative.
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I know who's children walked away from the Lord, my grandma.
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But then I my my kids saw that and my mom loved Jesus and was joyful.
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And, you know, and so we raised our kids strict boundaries.
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But they knew we always gave them reasons why we gave them.
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We didn't just say because it's I because I said so.
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We always try to back it up with scripture and they saw the love of Jesus.
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And it's that living for Jesus is a wonderful thing.
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It's not negative and quarrel and joyless, you know, so.
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Wow, that's so because all of our are they all walk in truth.
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They all they're all our oldest just turned 40 and they're all in their 30s.
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They all have families of their own and they're all doing great.
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We just are so thankful because I know some families who did everything right, you know, and they've had one prodigal when they all go astray.
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You kind of wonder about the parenting, but they have one prodigal.
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Like one woman said that she sent her daughter off to college, university, and she's totally leftist now.
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And when we saw that, oh, I didn't want to send my kids, my boys to junior high.
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I felt like I was spinning off to a cliff because I knew it was great.
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Then we were going to maybe send one of them to the local high school because he's a really good athlete.
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He'd have been the point guard there in the picture.
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But then a good friend of mine called up and told me what was going on, how the girls were chasing the boys and what they were doing to them, ran upstairs.
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So we sent them to a private little private Christian high school that was incredible.
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So we just did whatever we could throughout the years.
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Each one we did a little bit differently, what we felt what they needed.
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So you said women, you have a video talking about how women lose their minds after 40, 40.
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They start they start because of living in rebellion to their husbands.
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So for so many years being contentious that they go mad.
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They can no longer really think straight and you can't bitterness.
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There's a verse in the Bible that says that bitterness defiles many.
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And when you're always angry, you're bitter and bitterness.
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My parents were not bitter, even though they fought constantly with each other.
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They never were bitter towards other people or held grudges.
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Even with each other, they could still, you know, do OK.
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But so my husband was raised in a home like that, too.
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And so my husband, I never had bitterness or or held anything against anybody.
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So that's one thing you have to really nip the bud in with your children.
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If you see any type of bitterness or unforgiveness or holding things against people,
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we just have to forgive and pour grace upon people.
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Yeah, what do you what do you mean by bitterness?
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One of my sisters, well, both my sisters, they didn't there was something
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that they were holding against me and they didn't come and see me for many years.
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And I could have easily, easily been bitter and angry towards them.
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And I just decided that I was just going to love them and be kind to them and not be angry
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And I now we have a close relationship and and one of them's apologized and we love each
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Bad thinking going on on their part, bitterness always stems from bad thinking, I think not
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really understanding things, but I'm so just being angry, being angry at someone and not
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forgiving them and holding on to that and not letting it go and just always keeping it
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They're bitter towards our husband and that I was that way with my husband because he went
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Because I would say I don't really hold grudges, but sometimes like it at the same time, like
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people will say, oh, you're letting people walk all over you.
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Or you have no backbone like that sort of thing.
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You know, people say to me, because I watch my grandkids so much that I get exhausted and
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well, I hope they're not taking advantage of you.
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People will say to me, your kids are not take it's like my goal in life is to serve other
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people, you know, and I I just don't even think about that of being a doormat or like
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Jesus said the greatest of all is the servant of all.
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But my kids, if I'm too tired, I'll let them know, you know, OK, I.
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You have to take over, you know, and they're fine.
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Well, that's what I realized on the show when girls would say, like, I did so much
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for him because it's like so common to say, oh, like you give and you give and you give.
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I'm like, it actually says more about her because she's keeping score and you're not
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You're very wise for a woman who doesn't know her Bible very well.
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And it's like, what a stupid thing to argue about.
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Well, what I realized, too, because I've definitely done that before.
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And like I even think of a time in high school, I did that to my dad where I was like, because
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my dad's just not the most like how do I put it like he just shows that he loved like just
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like men, like they'll show you they love you more than tell you.
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I remember one day I was like kind of complaining about my dad.
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And my mom just looked at me and she was just like, he does this for you.
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Like she just listed all of the things that he does for me every single day and that I
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And I realized like a lot of times we're focused like on what they don't do for us.
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But like you don't notice all the stuff they like usually when you're mad, like there's
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I know that's totally just a self-centered, self-pity, selfish attitude.
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It's all about us instead of just forgetting ourselves and living for other people, you
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know, and that's you because I used to be so selfish.
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Even when I was with my mom on vacations, I want to do everything.
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I, I, and I'm so much more fulfilled and happy and joyful, actually not keeping score, but
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Cause that's what we're, that's where we find the greatest fulfillment, not all that
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In the mind, like, like you do, you're used to see things and go, Oh, that just doesn't
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You know, and just, you know, reading my Bible every day and, um, knowing truth and
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taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
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I read in one of my devotionals that self-pity is satanic.
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And that was life-changing because that whole thinking that you were saying is just self-pity.
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It's satanic and instead taking our eyes off of ourself and putting them onto others and
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wanting what's best for them and serving and loving them.
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And as a mother and a wife, you must have that attitude.
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If you're going to be a good wife and mother, you cannot go into marriage thinking, what's
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You have to go into, into marriage thinking, what kind of wife am I going to be to him?
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How am I going to be that help me that God calls me to be?