JustPearlyThings - July 09, 2023


The BEST Way To TRAIN Your CHILDREN

Topics
bitterness
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Panelists Share Their Relationship STORY Woman EXPOSES Her Gold Digging Tendencies

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

183.48

Word count

1,817

Sentence count

141

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Pastor Ken and I talk about how we raised our kids and how we were able to raise them in a Christian home. We talk about our parenting style, how we disciplined our kids, and the impact it had on them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 What do you think is the difference between parents where like the kids grow up to resent them for the strictness and the like the ones that grow to appreciate it?
00:00:09.860 Because I've seen both like, you know, the stereotypical pastor's daughter or like that sort of thing.
00:00:16.000 What do you think is the difference?
00:00:20.300 I don't know.
00:00:21.240 Both Ken and I were very eye to eye on the way we trained and disciplined our kids.
00:00:25.540 And we were very strict.
00:00:26.920 But they knew they were very loved, very loved.
00:00:30.560 And we were very strict with, you know, disciplining them, spanking them before the age of five.
00:00:35.680 So they don't even remember us disciplining them, you know, but they just always we taught them to obey from a very young age.
00:00:41.840 So they obeyed us.
00:00:43.120 And we didn't have terrible twos.
00:00:44.860 We didn't have rebellious teenagers.
00:00:47.820 We did.
00:00:48.080 They just always we taught them to respect us from a really young age.
00:00:52.280 So they always respected us and listened to our opinions.
00:00:55.000 And because we taught that to them and we were joyful.
00:00:59.820 We let them know like a lot of kids raised in, quote, Christian homes, walk away from the faith. 0.95
00:01:05.560 And from what from what I've observed, it's my the friends I know who are critical, complaining, negative.
00:01:12.900 I know who's children walked away from the Lord, my grandma.
00:01:16.720 I know.
00:01:17.720 Oh, that's so true.
00:01:19.980 But then I my my kids saw that and my mom loved Jesus and was joyful.
00:01:26.580 So all three of us love Jesus.
00:01:28.540 And, you know, and so we raised our kids strict boundaries.
00:01:33.960 But they knew we always gave them reasons why we gave them.
00:01:37.540 We didn't just say because it's I because I said so.
00:01:39.840 We always try to back it up with scripture and they saw the love of Jesus.
00:01:45.560 And it's that living for Jesus is a wonderful thing.
00:01:47.940 It's not a it's not an awful thing.
00:01:50.400 It's not negative and quarrel and joyless, you know, so.
00:01:54.980 Wow, that's so because all of our are they all walk in truth.
00:02:04.140 They're all great kids.
00:02:05.420 They all they're all our oldest just turned 40 and they're all in their 30s.
00:02:09.220 They all have families of their own and they're all doing great.
00:02:12.460 And we're just so blessed.
00:02:14.280 We just are so thankful because I know some families who did everything right, you know, and they've had one prodigal when they all go astray.
00:02:23.680 You kind of wonder about the parenting, but they have one prodigal.
00:02:27.340 Like one woman said that she sent her daughter off to college, university, and she's totally leftist now.
00:02:33.580 See, we wouldn't do that.
00:02:34.500 We didn't we hope we homeschooled.
00:02:36.960 And when we saw that, oh, I didn't want to send my kids, my boys to junior high.
00:02:41.400 I felt like I was spinning off to a cliff because I knew it was great.
00:02:44.040 So I started homeschooling him.
00:02:45.140 Then we were going to maybe send one of them to the local high school because he's a really good athlete.
00:02:49.840 He'd have been the point guard there in the picture.
00:02:52.140 But then a good friend of mine called up and told me what was going on, how the girls were chasing the boys and what they were doing to them, ran upstairs.
00:03:00.320 I don't want that.
00:03:01.520 So we sent them to a private little private Christian high school that was incredible.
00:03:06.060 So we just did whatever we could throughout the years.
00:03:09.060 Each one we did a little bit differently, what we felt what they needed.
00:03:13.500 And that's what we how we raised our children.
00:03:18.400 You mentioned 40.
00:03:19.980 So you said women, you have a video talking about how women lose their minds after 40, 40. 1.00
00:03:25.680 They start they start because of living in rebellion to their husbands. 0.96
00:03:30.180 So for so many years being contentious that they go mad.
00:03:34.560 And I've seen it with women. 1.00
00:03:35.860 They can no longer really think straight and you can't bitterness.
00:03:40.300 There's a verse in the Bible that says that bitterness defiles many.
00:03:43.700 And when you're always angry, you're bitter and bitterness.
00:03:47.900 You got to pull that thing from the root.
00:03:50.180 You cannot have bitterness in your life.
00:03:52.540 My parents were not bitter, even though they fought constantly with each other.
00:03:57.120 They never were bitter towards other people or held grudges.
00:04:00.420 Even with each other, they could still, you know, do OK.
00:04:04.820 But so my husband was raised in a home like that, too.
00:04:07.760 And so my husband, I never had bitterness or or held anything against anybody.
00:04:13.060 So my children are raised that way.
00:04:14.500 So none of them are either have that problem.
00:04:18.200 So that's one thing you have to really nip the bud in with your children.
00:04:22.280 If you see any type of bitterness or unforgiveness or holding things against people,
00:04:27.180 we just have to forgive and pour grace upon people.
00:04:29.820 Yeah, what do you what do you mean by bitterness?
00:04:32.920 Like, can I have an example?
00:04:35.120 Um.
00:04:40.200 When I was so sick.
00:04:42.540 One of my sisters, well, both my sisters, they didn't there was something
00:04:46.700 that they were holding against me and they didn't come and see me for many years.
00:04:52.580 And I could have easily, easily been bitter and angry towards them.
00:04:57.320 And I wouldn't allow myself to.
00:05:01.460 And I just decided that I was just going to love them and be kind to them and not be angry
00:05:06.460 and bitter towards them.
00:05:08.440 And I now we have a close relationship and and one of them's apologized and we love each
00:05:13.840 other deeply.
00:05:15.340 You know, there's just some.
00:05:17.700 Bad thinking going on on their part, bitterness always stems from bad thinking, I think not
00:05:21.980 really understanding things, but I'm so just being angry, being angry at someone and not
00:05:27.680 forgiving them and holding on to that and not letting it go and just always keeping it
00:05:34.620 against them.
00:05:35.160 A lot of wives do that with their husbands. 1.00
00:05:36.860 They're bitter towards our husband and that I was that way with my husband because he went
00:05:41.640 to eat the way I wanted him to eat.
00:05:43.280 How do you how do you balance?
00:05:46.940 Because I would say I don't really hold grudges, but sometimes like it at the same time, like
00:05:54.280 people will say, oh, you're letting people walk all over you.
00:05:58.760 Or you have no backbone like that sort of thing.
00:06:03.620 You know, people say to me, because I watch my grandkids so much that I get exhausted and
00:06:08.600 well, I hope they're not taking advantage of you.
00:06:11.240 People will say to me, your kids are not take it's like my goal in life is to serve other
00:06:17.700 people, you know, and I I just don't even think about that of being a doormat or like 0.84
00:06:24.180 women say, oh, you're a doormat. 1.00
00:06:25.420 If you submit to your husband, no, you're not. 0.99
00:06:27.360 You're obeying God.
00:06:28.520 Jesus said the greatest of all is the servant of all.
00:06:31.160 So I don't know exactly the situation here.
00:06:33.720 But my kids, if I'm too tired, I'll let them know, you know, OK, I.
00:06:39.060 I'm hitting the wall here.
00:06:40.200 You have to take over, you know, and they're fine.
00:06:42.740 Yeah.
00:06:43.440 Well, that's what I realized on the show when girls would say, like, I did so much 0.98
00:06:47.440 for him because it's like so common to say, oh, like you give and you give and you give.
00:06:51.620 And what I realized is like red pill moment.
00:06:53.820 I'm like, it actually says more about her because she's keeping score and you're not
00:06:58.860 supposed to keep score.
00:07:01.160 Right.
00:07:02.360 You're very wise for a woman who doesn't know her Bible very well. 1.00
00:07:06.160 We're not supposed to keep score.
00:07:07.560 We're supposed to outdo each other.
00:07:09.260 It's not a 50 50 thing.
00:07:10.800 It's 100 100.
00:07:11.940 You know, you just I used to be that way.
00:07:16.080 You know, we we'd argue about who does more. 1.00
00:07:18.960 And it's like, what a stupid thing to argue about. 0.96
00:07:22.160 Well, what I realized, too, because I've definitely done that before. 0.98
00:07:26.840 And like I even think of a time in high school, I did that to my dad where I was like, because
00:07:31.860 my dad's just not the most like how do I put it like he just shows that he loved like just
00:07:39.240 like men, like they'll show you they love you more than tell you.
00:07:42.160 Right.
00:07:42.540 Like it's more like they're going to show you.
00:07:44.320 I remember one day I was like kind of complaining about my dad.
00:07:47.580 And my mom just looked at me and she was just like, he does this for you.
00:07:52.140 He does this for you.
00:07:53.500 He does that.
00:07:54.280 Like she just listed all of the things that he does for me every single day and that I
00:07:59.900 was just being a brat about.
00:08:01.500 And it really humbled me.
00:08:02.860 And I realized like a lot of times we're focused like on what they don't do for us.
00:08:06.740 But like you don't notice all the stuff they like usually when you're mad, like there's
00:08:12.360 more that they're doing than you realize.
00:08:14.760 I know that's totally just a self-centered, self-pity, selfish attitude.
00:08:20.360 It's all about us instead of just forgetting ourselves and living for other people, you
00:08:27.720 know, and that's you because I used to be so selfish.
00:08:30.500 I wanted my husband to serve me.
00:08:32.680 Even when I was with my mom on vacations, I want to do everything.
00:08:35.680 And now I love serving people.
00:08:39.120 I, I, and I'm so much more fulfilled and happy and joyful, actually not keeping score, but
00:08:45.860 just serving people and loving people.
00:08:47.380 Cause that's what we're, that's where we find the greatest fulfillment, not all that
00:08:51.020 other garbage.
00:08:52.140 How did you train yourself to do that? 0.97
00:08:55.320 In the mind, like, like you do, you're used to see things and go, Oh, that just doesn't
00:09:01.500 seem right.
00:09:02.180 You know, and just, you know, reading my Bible every day and, um, knowing truth and
00:09:08.500 taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
00:09:11.140 It's sale.
00:09:12.360 I read in one of my devotionals that self-pity is satanic.
00:09:15.880 And that was life-changing because that whole thinking that you were saying is just self-pity.
00:09:20.520 It's satanic and instead taking our eyes off of ourself and putting them onto others and
00:09:26.980 wanting what's best for them and serving and loving them.
00:09:30.680 And as a mother and a wife, you must have that attitude.
00:09:33.460 If you're going to be a good wife and mother, you cannot go into marriage thinking, what's
00:09:37.580 he going to do for me? 1.00
00:09:38.800 Happy wife, happy life garbage. 1.00
00:09:40.740 You have to go into, into marriage thinking, what kind of wife am I going to be to him? 0.99
00:09:46.600 How am I going to make his life better?
00:09:48.680 How am I going to be that help me that God calls me to be?
00:09:52.780 That's how you go into marriage.