The BIPOLAR PERSONALITY Of a Modern Woman
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
198.91273
Summary
In this episode, I sit down with a good friend of mine to talk about her experience with cheating on her husband while pregnant with her son and how she dealt with the aftermath. We talk about how she handled the aftermath of the scandal, how she coped with the fallout, and what she's learned from it all.
Transcript
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so what did you do after the tweet did you come and like defend yourself or what no and that's
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because i was silent because literally oh and that's when all the videos came out yes yeah so
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that's what happened because when all like i'm telling you i have been through some different
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things given birth how i felt after i don't know it was just like a crash like hormonally i don't
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i was going through all this stuff and you just feel like for me i just felt like i was like
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he just wanted to die right and when he said that i was like delete the tweet you know like
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he ended up deleting but the damage already been done all the blocks picked it up all these stories
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started circulating and i did not tell my story because quite frankly nobody gives a fuck nobody
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cares that i was cheated on nobody cares what i went through when i was pregnant nobody
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fucking cares so what do i look like going on live crying about my baby daddy about a decision i
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made ultimately right this is who i picked to be my child's father i don't need your fucking sympathy
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and i don't need your fucking empathy you're not going to understand even if i even just in this
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interview right here people may have a better idea but you're still going to think what you want to
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think about me so i for months i was silent but you know what i did i leaned into being a villain
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okay well you guys think i'm a piece of shit you think i'm a monster well i'm going to show you
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what a monster really is so then i'm on jackson state's campus taking selfies hide your sons
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and because you guys are already saying that in my comments so instead of crying that's kind of
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funny no it was funny it was it was hilarious i loved it you know so i'm like let me just laugh at
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my pain just like with you like when people say mean stuff about you okay this is what it is
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this is how i feel you're not going to use this and hurt me and that is probably something like
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so you're almost like sometimes you're you're trolling the comments oh yeah absolutely but
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people don't know my personality people think you're being serious because they don't because
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they don't know my humor they don't know my personality they don't actually even know how i cope
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and i have been on social media since july of 2012. i have seen instagram in its many phases before
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there was even videos on there right i don't know another way because if you read shit and you
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obsess about it you're crying in the car right it's i feel like kind of a guinea pig because i'm one of
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like the original instagram girls right so i just feel like i don't like to explain myself to strangers
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now me and you are talking where i want you to understand you're asking me questions i'm telling you
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the truth right but to a bunch of strangers who have no desire to listen to me as you are i'm not
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explaining myself go hide your son i don't care you already think i'm this anyways i can't convince you
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otherwise and again i'm not jehovah's witness i don't convert people you ain't a believer i ain't here
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to convert you so yeah a lot of it is like my personality people don't really know how i am now now
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moving forward i don't really like to troll as much because i realize how damaging being something i'm not
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a villain how damaging it has been because that's not my truth like you've seen me i'm really just
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a little sweetie pie that's just kind of how i am i don't like people to see me vulnerable and nice and
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she's actually likable because i would at one point i would have rather people fear me think i'm a
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succubus evil whore because i i didn't want people to see this mushy part because it's disgusting right
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and that's why i've always judged that part but i've told myself i'm going to authentically be myself
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if it's not as exciting as being a villain right if i don't get as many clicks if i don't get any
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more followers moving forward today at least i can say i'm being myself because all that
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shitshow that wasn't me being myself that was me playing into a character that is like not even a
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fraction like five percent of who i am what do you think about the phrase life is about choices and
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trade-offs i agree i mean i love kevin samuels i feel like that was definitely a message like
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what was it like meeting kevin and he's much taller in person and did you take any of his
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i felt like i started to think about my life and what i wanted to do moving forward
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which kind of i don't want to say it's scary i don't want to judge it but like
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he talked about a lot of uncomfortable truth about the perception of men and like family structure and
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my situation and um it was a lot of difficult truths that were really hard to hear and i feel
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like i started thinking more of a having more of a business mentality after i spoke to kevin and i
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think he's was very kind i listened to him a lot when i was pregnant and i felt like his message often
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went missed because they would sensationalize um him being hard on women i've heard him be hard on men
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i've heard both you know but the internet's gonna run with what's the most viral but no i i loved meeting
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him he was a fellow pisces like myself he's very charming he's very funny very open-minded
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but he he was tough he was just like tough love so yeah i miss him you know yeah that's the one
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that's the one and i as i've told you this but i really wish i could have interviewed him or like
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had him on my show like that's the one person that i i just used to watch it's like you watched
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him so much you felt like you knew him absolutely and i'd only talk to him i think i talked to him
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twice like once about my channel and once about an ex like boyfriend of mine and it was like i don't
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know you just like felt like you knew him even though like i'd only talked to him twice really yeah
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and i think people underestimated how much he really cared he put a lot of time energy and effort into
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talking about family structures and talk and having people be accountable and calling out the
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the i have a phd you know die with a dog like he called out a lot of things that are going to be
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people's reality if they don't look at their lives now so i think that's why a lot of his content was
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rub people the wrong way my perspective you know everyone has their own feelings but because he was
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necessary he was about outcomes not really what felt good yep and a lot of people would like i hate
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him when people would like question his intentions or like you know what i'm saying yeah but i'm just
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like what who cares his outcomes are good he has people making videos about how they got married
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because of him yeah and it's like how can you argue with outcomes right um what do you
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so did you answer did you take his advice yeah i've started focusing more on the business and figuring
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out like what do i even like to do like how do i plan to make money like what is going to change here
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like pretty it's relationship advice that what oh relationship advice um well we talked more
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about business oh okay yeah our like the stuff that we talked about in like when we would talk on the
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phone every now and then um funny he talked to me about business yeah he was more business so that's
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why like when it came to relationships we didn't really talk about that stuff not really to be honest
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because i just felt like that i wasn't really focused on that i was trying to figure out my
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life i have a kid now and i feel like he was you know he was uh really insightful of that first of
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that perspective and topic so yeah sorry i'm looking at the question what are the pros and cons of only
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fans are we talking about like typically what people post on only fans or like are these people like
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posting like uh like cooking corn corn corn to to nudes nudes okay um i have i think it's easy money
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i don't think there's gonna be much longevity with it and for me
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i don't like the idea of selling a picture of me like a personal picture that maybe i'd send a guy
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i like like you can subscribe for like ten dollars and you can see it and i think it just takes away
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intimacy for me um i think it's too invasive but there are people who obviously make money
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sex workers that do can i say that sex workers okay um sex workers that make bank and they serve
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their like there's an audience for that they they they fulfill their audience's desires but it's not for
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me i i wouldn't want to do it no i i don't like taking the easy way out either and that's just my
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opinion i think it's an easy way out but it's not like you're not actually asking yourself what you
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want to do and you're not thinking about longevity unless you're using that money to like invest in
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other things but most likely you're not and then not only now you kind of have to carry that stigma of
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you sell content online and there's guys that don't care about that but like the stuff we've been
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talking about there's more guys that care that you're an only fans girl than not so i feel like
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why do it if you don't have to you know because it's just like i feel like it has such a
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mark yeah see we we agree again yeah i would avoid it i'm like i already got enough fucking
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shit like i can't be adding now and i just feel like it's an easy way out do you think you could
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respect a man and submit to a man that makes significantly less than you so 45 000 a year
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yes but it's it's not about the money that brings the respect it's about it's about the mufasa energy
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and like really caring about me and respecting me and valuing me have you ever met a guy that makes
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45k a year that has the mufasa energy um the only guy i've talked to besides like my first boyfriend
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and the lawyer i don't even i really haven't had many guys oh wait i'm trying to think
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i talked to a trainer we talked about that last night what was the question again could i could
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you respect like yeah could you submit to him yeah because i respect him i'm going to submit to him
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that's naturally what i want to do like i want somebody who's gonna love he says he says don't
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go don't go out would you would you delete your instagram that's my money maker so if i'm not if
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i don't care about a guy's money that means obviously i'm taking care of like myself and providing the
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lifestyle that i want for myself so i wouldn't delete my money maker now would you would you go
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down in lifestyle for a family go down in lifestyle what what does that mean because i provide my own
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lifestyle okay so okay so this is this is like often kevin samuels would talk about how women
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don't want a husband they want the lifestyle and you you kind of agreed with that a little bit because
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a lot of people do want a lot of people do because they don't have any earning potential so and like
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his point was back in the day you would work you both would work at times and you'd have to work
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twice as hard just to have children so it's like you wouldn't you and he wouldn't make like more
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money so it would be like i try not to butcher this too much sorry kevin samuels okay but basically
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but so the whole point is like you don't get to go on trips you can't go to london for a week
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you can't i mean this is different because but you see what i'm saying you don't get to go on trips
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you don't get to eat out like even growing up we even though we were in a one percent family like i was
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very much jealous of some of the lifestyle that some of my friends lived um like where they would eat
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out they had cable like we didn't have cable tv my parents like i want to say we still went on
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vacations but we never flew and it's like a lot of times like women would rather have the lifestyle
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than a family well to me what you're describing sounds like money management because that's you
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make money and the reason that your family has stayed wealthy is because they don't eat out every
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night they're not taking trips here there everywhere they are even though you guys could do that right
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it's like that sounds like just money management yeah they do they do now i will say they do yeah
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but that sounds like money management that sounds smart so yeah if you have more kids it doesn't
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make sense to go out and spend three hundred dollars at outback when you could buy groceries right but
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the whole point is like let's say you deleted your instagram tomorrow you you could hypothetically get
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a part-time job make twenty thousand a year date a guy that makes fifty thousand dollars a year that's 70k
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you could live off of that it just wouldn't be the lifestyle you'd want yeah and so that's that's the whole
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question is like would you go down and lifestyle for a family because you get you get a family out
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of it and that's like legacy that's like what we all want yeah it's like a lot of times as women we
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don't want to give up you know the the nails done the hair done the makeup yeah all of that you know um
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my answer is going to be no because that's something i can provide for myself so i would never downgrade
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my lifestyle because again i'm not asking a man to provide something i can't provide for myself
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so again i feel like i'm very i've gotten so much better at money management not spending six
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hundred dollars at sephora you know what i mean i feel like there's because i have a son now because
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i have to think of money um and be a lot smarter i have downgraded my lifestyle already so to go from
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this six figures a year to twenty thousand doesn't make sense like i want to tap into my fullest potential
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me tapping into my fullest potential does not entail working twenty thousand working a twenty
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thousand dollar a year job it just doesn't that's not what i'm here to do i wouldn't be given this
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platform i wouldn't be given this voice if i was if i was meant to have a twenty thousand dollar
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a year job that's just what it is like and i'm just speaking for me like i'm meant to do this so
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i just can't relate to that now as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are
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