JustPearlyThings - June 02, 2023


The Court System Found Every Way To Finesse Him


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

160.34709

Word count

1,583

Sentence count

128

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a woman who is fighting for her son's custody battle with his mother. We discuss why fathers only get primary custody of their children 10% of the time and why Women's Aid should be doing more to help.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Do you think the courts value fathers? Why do fathers only get primary custody ten
00:00:05.640 percent of the time? I think a lot of it goes back to the female activism. I agree 0.82
00:00:13.620 with equality and I agree with feminism, I haven't got an issue with that, but I
00:00:17.280 think there's a toxic side of it. And when Margaret Thatcher was in
00:00:27.600 government, that's when a lot of this stuff was being put in place, the mother
00:00:31.560 was primary. Because it was believed that the mother could be the only one who
00:00:38.220 provides the best parenting. Got it, so you think that brainwashing of constantly
00:00:46.980 saying that the kid needs to be, that's a common phrase I think, the kid needs his
00:00:51.180 mother. There's never a comment of the the kid needs a father. Yeah, I've never,
00:00:56.160 before I got into, I mean now I've heard that because I'm in this specific space,
00:01:00.840 but like how many people even know this exists? Like I don't think it's the
00:01:05.480 majority. So you think it's the brainwashing, then most of the judges grew up
00:01:13.920 in that media, grew up with that narrative. Grew up in the media, but obviously then what goes on in the
00:01:18.120 government, the judiciary have to abide by those set rules. Explain that a little more.
00:01:26.440 So in the judiciary, you mean the judges. Okay. All the laws and parenting laws and things,
00:01:41.920 let's call them laws or rules. It's all, first of all, created by the local government, the governments,
00:01:49.900 to determine bias, to determine, not what they call bias in the Judaism. So I'm trying to explain it,
00:02:02.080 I've got it in my head, but I'm not quite explaining it right. So they've got those, so one of the key
00:02:10.480 things that I told you about, the pillars and the spectrum of DA, that's one of the biggest pushers.
00:02:22.480 Oh. So say in my scenario, in my case, the mother escaped with the child and just went away so much
00:02:33.400 she did with me. She's now, because he's not in my care, primary. If I went with my son, I'd be classed
00:02:44.120 as primary. But technically, I could still lose him. What technique, say that again? I could technically,
00:02:49.780 even though I say, okay, I've got to leave here now, this is not a good environment, I've got to take my son
00:02:54.040 in the same scenario. If a father does it, it's taken shadow over. How dare the father do that?
00:03:01.280 The father can't flee. A mother can flee, a father can't. If the father flees, he's looked
00:03:07.440 down upon, where if the mother flees, she's not. Which is societal, I think. And he's looked
00:03:12.420 at as like, there had to be a reason that she fled. Yeah. And the issue is that when they
00:03:20.720 get to court, she can claim abuse with this point system. Yeah. And Women's Aid obviously 1.00
00:03:27.780 knows the system, because there are people who have got it implemented. So you also mentioned
00:03:32.120 that Women's Aid, 80% of cases, I think you said this before the interview, but you said
00:03:36.840 80% of cases at Women's Aid are fraudulent. Could you explain that?
00:03:41.980 So they know their false allegation. So they know that the people who are going to them,
00:03:54.040 asking for help, that 80% of them, is false allegation. They know that it's not actually true.
00:04:01.680 Now, when I went to court, my ex-wife had what was called a Mackenzie friend, 0.94
00:04:07.100 and it was a lady from Women's Aid in the courtroom, and she was just passing notes.
00:04:13.160 She first tried to refuse to tell the court her name, until the judge ordered her to do
00:04:18.480 it, and even then, on two attempts, said just her first name. The court then said, we now
00:04:25.300 know you, because obviously what they'd done in the first hearing, she'd done in the first
00:04:30.600 hearing. And what this lady was doing was passing notes. Every time I would say something 0.97
00:04:36.760 in court, she would pass a note that would suddenly go, that's where the, in the second 0.63
00:04:44.500 hearing for demanding behaviour came about. That's the best.
00:04:52.840 Oh, so you said that you asked for toys or something?
00:04:56.640 So my ex brought forward as demanding behaviour.
00:05:00.520 And that goes under the abuse. Wow. So she, oh, I didn't realise.
00:05:05.920 And that was the advice she was given from Women's Aid. Wow. So I didn't realise that
00:05:09.600 demanding behaviour, like, I didn't realise that was under abuse.
00:05:12.920 It's like coercive.
00:05:13.660 So because you asked for toys for your son. And she came in and said this is demanding behaviour
00:05:22.340 and abuse. Correct.
00:05:23.540 Because the woman from Women's Aid was writing this down. And there's no way in hell these
00:05:29.380 women are stupid. Like, they know that's not abusive. But because they get more money, 1.00
00:05:34.920 I'm guessing. It's a silver bullet. It's just about silver bullets.
00:05:38.100 They get more money based on winning in court.
00:05:42.660 And the stats go, we've got more people who are being domestically abused. Therefore,
00:05:46.440 we need more funds from the government.
00:05:48.820 Oh, so they like, they almost inflate the numbers.
00:05:51.780 Of course. So I, one guy told me that in 2013, when they switched the law for abuse, where
00:05:58.960 you get free counsel, that abuse allegations went up over 200%.
00:06:03.900 Free counsel.
00:06:06.040 Yeah. So in the UK, you get legal aid.
00:06:07.940 Oh, yeah.
00:06:09.060 Legal aid.
00:06:09.540 I get the words confused here.
00:06:11.320 But yeah.
00:06:12.940 So, yeah. So if you get, say, Women's Aid to say... 0.96
00:06:16.400 So, so basically, you go to court and you don't have a, you don't have a lawyer or anything
00:06:20.540 because you're broke, because she's drained you at this point.
00:06:24.520 And it's usually, I found six months to a year, roughly, that till you, and usually the dads
00:06:30.100 haven't seen their sons in six. So they're already high stress, I'd imagine. They're already
00:06:36.620 really frustrated. Some of them lose their jobs in this time, because if you take your kid,
00:06:42.280 like, I wouldn't be mentally stable if someone took my child from me.
00:06:45.680 So then you go to court, and they're kind of waiting for you to say any, like, one,
00:06:52.480 they already have a list of everything you've done wrong in the past couple of years, or
00:06:57.260 they could construe as wrong to call it abuse. So they can file it under the abuse court system.
00:07:03.080 So that's like financial abuse, coercive control, and emotional abuse. And the last one you just
00:07:09.440 said, which, is that demanding?
00:07:12.060 Demanding behavior.
00:07:13.000 I'm going to write that over here.
00:07:13.960 I think it's part of the coercive, coercive control is, I just ran out, but don't, demanding,
00:07:21.240 no, it's back. Demanding behavior. So then, and they're also, these women are waiting on 0.87
00:07:27.700 everything you say in court. So if you, one, if you act agitated, then they say, see, he did abuse
00:07:34.680 me. If so, and if you say anything wrong, then the women's aid are just writing things down and
00:07:41.360 handing it and handing it. And oftentimes I think women's aid will give you counsel too. So that she 0.92
00:07:46.960 might have a lawyer from women's aid, but the lawyers, I've also heard that even if you get a 0.87
00:07:51.840 lawyer, they might not have your best interests at heart because they, um, their number one customer
00:07:59.340 is women's aid. So they can't win too many cases. Otherwise women's, why would women's aid give you 1.00
00:08:04.620 the customers? Right.
00:08:07.000 Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So, so it's, it's kind of a money train. Right. And what you have is a solicitor
00:08:12.540 who that, so if they're dealing with me, they're dealing with the father. Yeah. But also they're
00:08:19.500 also dealing with a mother somewhere else as well. So it's giving me advice as a father to go, okay,
00:08:25.500 you need to angle it this way and angle it that way. And then they're going to a mother who is being
00:08:28.880 toxic and going to get the best out of, out of him, you need to do this and that and the other.
00:08:35.240 And then she's saying to me, um, uh, well, we'll have to wait and see what they say and then we'll
00:08:42.380 decide what we're going to do. But it's usually, it's all, so I once spent in three months with,
00:08:49.640 with a solicitor, £1,000. Okay.
00:08:54.460 Yeah. And I had nothing. All I did was hand over statements and they picked holes in the
00:08:59.400 statements and that's all they did for £1,000. They picked holes in your statements? Oh, okay.
00:09:04.780 So they, they didn't help you at all. No, no. And at that point you're, you're struggling. So
00:09:09.480 it's kind of like to get to a lawyer that could help you, you probably have to go through good,
00:09:14.180 like we're, we're doing some legal stuff here and we have to go through bad lawyers, good lawyers,
00:09:19.360 because you kind of have to spend money, but it's not like you have money to spend. No. But her, 0.77
00:09:23.640 on the other hand, she gets it all for free. Yeah. So she can go through lawyers, find the 1.00
00:09:28.520 best lawyer, get the best counsel. All for free. Yeah. Wow. Well, I have to pay for it.
00:09:34.440 And then there's also, it doesn't seem like there's any consequence for alienating the father.
00:09:39.840 Like there's no jail time. There's no. Nothing. None at all. Well, some people have, there are
00:09:46.260 some people who have been taken to prison for very extreme PA, apparently alienation.