JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022


The DELUSION of MODERN WOMEN


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

208.07956

Word Count

2,141

Sentence Count

168

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend, author, entrepreneur, and mom, Kelsea Ballerini. Kelsea talks about her single mom life and how it has changed her dating life since becoming a mom. She also talks about what it's like being a single mom and how she deals with the pressures of being a mom and writing a book.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Have you noticed a difference in dating since you became a single mother?
00:00:02.880 Yes.
00:00:03.880 Okay, tell me about that.
00:00:05.880 Do you feel like that has been the biggest difference?
00:00:08.760 What was bigger, having a kid or the book?
00:00:11.160 The book.
00:00:12.000 Really?
00:00:13.720 Oh, I thought the kid would be bigger than the book.
00:00:16.720 The book for sure.
00:00:17.720 Like, there was a time, I'm telling you,
00:00:21.480 at one point, the DMs were looking like a Nike store with all the checks, right?
00:00:27.080 After the book?
00:00:28.080 Must be nice.
00:00:29.200 I'm telling you, but after the book, it was quiet.
00:00:33.520 I feel like it took a, I don't even really want to say when it picked back up.
00:00:37.080 I don't even know.
00:00:38.080 Probably, maybe like eight, seven or eight months after the book,
00:00:43.960 it started to kind of bounce back out, but I'm talking, it was quiet.
00:00:46.880 And that was how old?
00:00:48.760 I think I was 26 when I released my book, yeah, 2018.
00:00:50.840 Okay, 26.
00:00:51.680 They say the wall is undefeated.
00:00:54.080 It's like 27.
00:00:55.160 Would you date someone like Tate?
00:00:59.480 Would I date someone like him?
00:01:01.480 Yeah.
00:01:02.480 Could you do the multiple wives if he was open with you from the jump?
00:01:06.040 It's like, I would want him to myself, but I like the way he carries himself.
00:01:17.920 I feel like he has that Mufasa energy.
00:01:20.240 And I do think it's a lot different if you are, it's full transparency.
00:01:26.360 I'm never going to say never because a lot can happen between now and never, but I like
00:01:33.320 the idea of someone just being fully transparent and I don't know exactly.
00:01:39.120 I don't know if I could be one of several, but I just don't want to say never.
00:01:42.680 I don't know.
00:01:43.680 I'm just going to keep an open mind.
00:01:44.680 So I like transparency.
00:01:45.680 I like honesty.
00:01:46.680 I can respect honesty.
00:01:47.680 If you could have a perfect man that you wanted 666, you know what that means?
00:01:53.360 No.
00:01:54.360 I was like, what?
00:01:55.360 Okay.
00:01:56.360 Six feet, six inches.
00:01:57.360 Six inches?
00:01:58.360 That's funny.
00:01:59.360 Six figures.
00:02:00.360 Oh my God.
00:02:01.360 I love all these terms.
00:02:03.360 Would you give up your career?
00:02:05.360 Give up my career?
00:02:06.360 Yeah.
00:02:07.360 For the perfect guy.
00:02:08.360 So I'm just, what?
00:02:11.360 I'm at home doing nothing?
00:02:12.360 Or what am I doing?
00:02:13.360 You're being a mother.
00:02:14.360 Being a mom?
00:02:15.360 Kids.
00:02:16.360 Yeah.
00:02:17.360 I have to have more kids?
00:02:18.360 Is that a part of the deal?
00:02:20.360 Do I have to offer on my uterus?
00:02:22.360 Or can't we just be in love?
00:02:24.360 Um, you don't want to have more kids?
00:02:27.360 I don't know.
00:02:28.360 Never say never.
00:02:29.360 Again, I don't want to like make, I don't want to say, I never want to have more kids.
00:02:33.360 I would never do this.
00:02:34.360 Cause I just feel like I've been humbled in a lot of ways.
00:02:37.360 So right now, unless a man wants to marry me, why would I have more kids?
00:02:41.360 I already have baby daddy.
00:02:43.360 You know, like can't imagine more, you know, especially with all that commitment.
00:02:47.360 Even if something, we get married and it doesn't work out.
00:02:48.360 That's a whole, you know, whatever.
00:02:49.360 But if what I give my career, have the perfect guy, like he sees the beauty in the Grand Canyon
00:02:56.360 and dance, like does the bachata in the restaurant and is romantic.
00:03:00.360 God, I don't know.
00:03:01.360 That's hard.
00:03:02.360 Sometimes when you talk, it sounds like La La Land, respectfully.
00:03:07.360 And just cause you'll talk about these guys and I'm like, these men aren't real.
00:03:12.360 See what man sees the beauty?
00:03:15.360 Let's talk about the beauty in the Grand Canyon.
00:03:17.360 But why can't I have a guy that sees the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:21.360 Why would I want someone that doesn't see the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:24.360 Why can't, why can't I have a millionaire?
00:03:26.360 But he doesn't see the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:29.360 Bro, you're going to be able to make your own money.
00:03:32.360 So why, like, at the end of the day, you grew up with money.
00:03:35.360 So money, why would that even really impress you?
00:03:37.360 No, my point is like, it's just sometimes I think when we talk about like these perfect
00:03:41.360 guys, and it's, look it, when I was younger, oh God, it's so embarrassing.
00:03:46.360 I don't really want to say it online.
00:03:48.360 Everyone's going to roast me.
00:03:49.360 Why would they roast you?
00:03:50.360 Because it's embarrassing.
00:03:51.360 When I was a kid, like, oh my gosh, like I totally had like a list of like what I wanted
00:03:56.360 in my future husband.
00:03:57.360 That's not dumb.
00:03:58.360 That's really smart.
00:03:59.360 It does.
00:04:00.360 But when I read it back, I was like, God damn, I was delusional.
00:04:02.360 No, I think for me that I've, I'm not looking for like a fucking perfect guy.
00:04:10.360 I just want a guy that has similar values.
00:04:12.360 And yeah, like, I don't know how to be, to be quite honest with you.
00:04:16.360 Like, why would a guy see the value in me if he doesn't even see the value in, this is
00:04:22.360 going to sound so crazy.
00:04:23.360 I don't care how I'm going to say it.
00:04:24.360 If you don't see the beauty in like the world and the land and all of these things, why,
00:04:29.360 why the fuck would you think I'm valuable?
00:04:31.360 You don't even think the Great Canyons, like its value speaks for itself.
00:04:35.360 So you're not going to see the value in me.
00:04:39.360 Like, so yeah, I mean, for me, I don't, I don't want a millionaire over someone who would
00:04:45.360 want to do that with me.
00:04:46.360 That's just where I'm at.
00:04:47.360 And I'm okay with that.
00:04:48.360 It's not like,
00:04:49.360 I said Grand Canyon is a big ditch in higher.
00:04:54.360 Oh my God.
00:04:55.360 Whatever.
00:04:56.360 But that's what I'm saying.
00:04:57.360 Like you're looking at the world with a feminine lens.
00:05:00.360 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:01.360 Like the man will see the Grand Canyon.
00:05:03.360 Like, I just think of my brothers.
00:05:04.360 Okay.
00:05:05.360 And they're not, they're not trying to look at the Grand Canyon and see the beauty in it.
00:05:09.360 And my dad is, I look up to my dad more than anyone in the world.
00:05:12.360 He is a great, he is a great man.
00:05:14.360 Okay.
00:05:15.360 And like, I go to him for like everything.
00:05:18.360 And I'm like, he would think it was cool, but he's trying to bike it.
00:05:23.360 But that, but that to me is cool.
00:05:25.360 No, but that's what I'm saying though.
00:05:27.360 Like somebody who would want to bike is someone who would want to hike.
00:05:29.360 Like that to me, it's not about like, Oh, wow.
00:05:32.360 Just the Grand Canyon.
00:05:33.360 It's more so that, like, I think that's cool.
00:05:36.360 Him even wanting to bike is cool to me.
00:05:38.360 That's the kind of guy I would want.
00:05:39.360 Like, I would love to bike the Grand Canyon with someone that I love that it's like,
00:05:43.360 but it's like, see, this is where I often like kind of see where the guys are coming from.
00:05:47.360 Cause it's like, my dad probably would be looked over by most women when he was in his twenties.
00:05:52.360 He was a little nerdy guy.
00:05:53.360 The university of Chicago.
00:05:54.360 Shout out dad.
00:05:55.360 Shout out.
00:05:56.360 Yeah.
00:05:57.360 Shout out.
00:05:58.360 Shout out father.
00:05:59.360 Um, I already know these comments are hilarious.
00:06:04.360 Oh my God.
00:06:05.360 Can I read you one?
00:06:06.360 It's kind of mean though.
00:06:07.360 I won't.
00:06:08.360 I won't.
00:06:09.360 I won't.
00:06:10.360 I just had asked her to stop being a ho.
00:06:12.360 What did they think would happen?
00:06:14.360 Like what she's going to say.
00:06:15.360 Yeah.
00:06:16.360 Um, okay.
00:06:17.360 Oh guys, the Tate and the Tate Brittany Pearl video.
00:06:23.360 Um, it's probably coming out Friday.
00:06:25.360 My thumbnail guy is out of town this week.
00:06:27.360 Um, so he's out of town until Thursday.
00:06:29.360 So Friday, we're going to do it.
00:06:32.360 Um, how did you feel about that conversation?
00:06:34.360 Like as a whole?
00:06:36.360 Good.
00:06:37.360 Um, I think I was saying, I think if I had to do it over again, I would have had one, maybe
00:06:42.360 two less people on the panel.
00:06:44.360 Okay.
00:06:45.360 Cause I really wanted to hear you more and I felt like there was some people on the panel
00:06:50.360 that just like kept talking for a very long time.
00:06:53.360 Yeah.
00:06:54.360 And I think too, I want to clarify cause I, like I know that they're going to love that
00:06:58.360 video.
00:06:59.360 Like I love that you even put that together and thought about adding me to that.
00:07:02.360 Um, when I am in a group setting, especially like that, that type of panel, I'm an active
00:07:07.360 listener.
00:07:08.360 So when somebody is talking, you be quiet, you don't talk.
00:07:11.360 So I think that's why for me, when people are going around and there's three people that
00:07:14.360 have made a point, whatever I had to say, I'm just like, I kind of didn't get to say
00:07:18.360 it because again, I believe in just listening and let people, letting people talk.
00:07:21.360 And then when it's my turn to talk, I'll talk.
00:07:23.360 So I didn't have a lot of times where it was my turn to talk.
00:07:25.360 Yeah.
00:07:26.360 And when I did, I thought I kind of had to like, Hey, actually, you know?
00:07:29.360 So yeah, it wasn't like, like I, and again, I liked a lot of the stuff that we talked about,
00:07:33.360 you know?
00:07:34.360 Yeah.
00:07:35.360 I think if I had to do it again, but something tells me, you know, there may be another one in
00:07:40.360 the future.
00:07:41.360 Yeah.
00:07:42.360 Do you want to get married?
00:07:43.360 Are you okay?
00:07:46.360 Would you be okay with a long-term relationship without marriage?
00:07:50.360 Yes.
00:07:51.360 I've actually thought about this because I would, I don't even think it's really the paper that
00:07:57.360 I want.
00:07:58.360 I think it's just the commitment.
00:07:59.360 And like, I would love, I think I like the idea of a wedding more than we have to go sign
00:08:04.360 this.
00:08:05.360 And then when we divorce the courts are in our business because of like what I'm going through
00:08:09.360 with the child support custody stuff, getting out of that contract is going to be hard.
00:08:13.360 Right?
00:08:14.360 So yeah, I would be, I would want like, still I want to ring, still want a wedding, but
00:08:20.360 I wouldn't have to, I don't think we would have to do it in front of the courts.
00:08:23.360 Yeah.
00:08:24.360 It would just be a commitment to each other.
00:08:25.360 And like I said, I've actually thought about that because I think I was watching one of
00:08:28.360 your videos where a lot of women just want the celebration, the wedding and they, and
00:08:32.360 they don't actually care to get married.
00:08:34.360 Um, so yeah, I would be open to that.
00:08:36.360 Would you be okay with like, cause I always say, I would be cool with just, I want to
00:08:40.360 say a courthouse wedding.
00:08:41.360 Okay.
00:08:42.360 But you know, I, then I'm like, you know, if he doesn't want to do the contract, that's
00:08:47.360 fine.
00:08:48.360 But I was thinking like, just like a small thing with like my parents and my immediate
00:08:51.360 family.
00:08:52.360 Like I think that sounds nicer than like this big, like who needs 300 people at a wedding?
00:08:57.360 Yeah.
00:08:58.360 I don't even know 300 people that would show up.
00:08:59.360 So no, I, I love the idea of just like the ceremony and reception and people just celebrating
00:09:04.360 your, your guys' union.
00:09:06.360 And it doesn't have to be in front of, like I said on paper.
00:09:09.360 So that's kind of where I have changed my views a little bit where I'm like, it's not
00:09:13.360 even really the contract that I'm wanting.
00:09:15.360 Cause like, whatever, who gives a fuck?
00:09:16.360 I just want you and like all the fun stuff that comes along with it.
00:09:21.360 That's, you know.
00:09:22.360 Sorry.
00:09:23.360 I just know how the guys are going to see.
00:09:26.360 They're like the fun stuff that comes with it.
00:09:28.360 They're like, they've been sold a fairytale to Disney.
00:09:30.360 I mean, it is what it is, but it's like, yeah, I mean, cause it's not just about like,
00:09:36.360 like, I want to be able to, again, if I, especially if I'm marrying someone who has all of this,
00:09:40.360 I've always been open to prenups.
00:09:42.360 Like I, cause it's never about like, oh, I want to take half of everything.
00:09:45.360 Um, even when I was with my ex, like we had talked about prenups, like whatever, you know,
00:09:51.360 I'm cool with that.
00:09:52.360 But I think that's just where it's like, yeah, you, you want the, the cute stuff that comes
00:09:56.360 with marriage.
00:09:57.360 But I don't even really know if people actually want to go through the process, especially
00:10:00.360 of getting out of it.
00:10:01.360 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:10:07.360 on this platform.
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