JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022


The DELUSION of MODERN WOMEN

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Tate
Modern Women DON'T Look At BIG PICTURE

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

208.08

Word count

2,141

Sentence count

214

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend, author, entrepreneur, and mom, Kelsea Ballerini. Kelsea talks about her single mom life and how it has changed her dating life since becoming a mom. She also talks about what it's like being a single mom and how she deals with the pressures of being a mom and writing a book.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Have you noticed a difference in dating since you became a single mother?
00:00:02.880 Yes.
00:00:03.880 Okay, tell me about that.
00:00:05.880 Do you feel like that has been the biggest difference?
00:00:08.760 What was bigger, having a kid or the book?
00:00:11.160 The book.
00:00:12.000 Really?
00:00:13.720 Oh, I thought the kid would be bigger than the book.
00:00:16.720 The book for sure.
00:00:17.720 Like, there was a time, I'm telling you,
00:00:21.480 at one point, the DMs were looking like a Nike store with all the checks, right?
00:00:27.080 After the book?
00:00:28.080 Must be nice.
00:00:29.200 I'm telling you, but after the book, it was quiet.
00:00:33.520 I feel like it took a, I don't even really want to say when it picked back up.
00:00:37.080 I don't even know.
00:00:38.080 Probably, maybe like eight, seven or eight months after the book,
00:00:43.960 it started to kind of bounce back out, but I'm talking, it was quiet.
00:00:46.880 And that was how old?
00:00:48.760 I think I was 26 when I released my book, yeah, 2018.
00:00:50.840 Okay, 26.
00:00:51.680 They say the wall is undefeated.
00:00:54.080 It's like 27.
00:00:55.160 Would you date someone like Tate?
00:00:59.480 Would I date someone like him?
00:01:01.480 Yeah.
00:01:02.480 Could you do the multiple wives if he was open with you from the jump? 0.91
00:01:06.040 It's like, I would want him to myself, but I like the way he carries himself.
00:01:17.920 I feel like he has that Mufasa energy. 0.94
00:01:20.240 And I do think it's a lot different if you are, it's full transparency.
00:01:26.360 I'm never going to say never because a lot can happen between now and never, but I like
00:01:33.320 the idea of someone just being fully transparent and I don't know exactly.
00:01:39.120 I don't know if I could be one of several, but I just don't want to say never.
00:01:42.680 I don't know.
00:01:43.680 I'm just going to keep an open mind.
00:01:44.680 So I like transparency.
00:01:45.680 I like honesty.
00:01:46.680 I can respect honesty.
00:01:47.680 If you could have a perfect man that you wanted 666, you know what that means?
00:01:53.360 No.
00:01:54.360 I was like, what?
00:01:55.360 Okay.
00:01:56.360 Six feet, six inches.
00:01:57.360 Six inches?
00:01:58.360 That's funny.
00:01:59.360 Six figures.
00:02:00.360 Oh my God.
00:02:01.360 I love all these terms.
00:02:03.360 Would you give up your career?
00:02:05.360 Give up my career?
00:02:06.360 Yeah.
00:02:07.360 For the perfect guy.
00:02:08.360 So I'm just, what?
00:02:11.360 I'm at home doing nothing?
00:02:12.360 Or what am I doing?
00:02:13.360 You're being a mother.
00:02:14.360 Being a mom?
00:02:15.360 Kids.
00:02:16.360 Yeah.
00:02:17.360 I have to have more kids? 0.73
00:02:18.360 Is that a part of the deal?
00:02:20.360 Do I have to offer on my uterus?
00:02:22.360 Or can't we just be in love?
00:02:24.360 Um, you don't want to have more kids?
00:02:27.360 I don't know.
00:02:28.360 Never say never.
00:02:29.360 Again, I don't want to like make, I don't want to say, I never want to have more kids.
00:02:33.360 I would never do this.
00:02:34.360 Cause I just feel like I've been humbled in a lot of ways.
00:02:37.360 So right now, unless a man wants to marry me, why would I have more kids?
00:02:41.360 I already have baby daddy. 1.00
00:02:43.360 You know, like can't imagine more, you know, especially with all that commitment.
00:02:47.360 Even if something, we get married and it doesn't work out.
00:02:48.360 That's a whole, you know, whatever.
00:02:49.360 But if what I give my career, have the perfect guy, like he sees the beauty in the Grand Canyon
00:02:56.360 and dance, like does the bachata in the restaurant and is romantic.
00:03:00.360 God, I don't know.
00:03:01.360 That's hard.
00:03:02.360 Sometimes when you talk, it sounds like La La Land, respectfully.
00:03:07.360 And just cause you'll talk about these guys and I'm like, these men aren't real.
00:03:12.360 See what man sees the beauty?
00:03:15.360 Let's talk about the beauty in the Grand Canyon.
00:03:17.360 But why can't I have a guy that sees the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:21.360 Why would I want someone that doesn't see the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:24.360 Why can't, why can't I have a millionaire? 0.93
00:03:26.360 But he doesn't see the beauty in the Grand Canyon?
00:03:29.360 Bro, you're going to be able to make your own money.
00:03:32.360 So why, like, at the end of the day, you grew up with money.
00:03:35.360 So money, why would that even really impress you?
00:03:37.360 No, my point is like, it's just sometimes I think when we talk about like these perfect
00:03:41.360 guys, and it's, look it, when I was younger, oh God, it's so embarrassing.
00:03:46.360 I don't really want to say it online.
00:03:48.360 Everyone's going to roast me.
00:03:49.360 Why would they roast you?
00:03:50.360 Because it's embarrassing.
00:03:51.360 When I was a kid, like, oh my gosh, like I totally had like a list of like what I wanted
00:03:56.360 in my future husband. 0.72
00:03:57.360 That's not dumb.
00:03:58.360 That's really smart.
00:03:59.360 It does. 0.98
00:04:00.360 But when I read it back, I was like, God damn, I was delusional. 0.99
00:04:02.360 No, I think for me that I've, I'm not looking for like a fucking perfect guy. 0.98
00:04:10.360 I just want a guy that has similar values.
00:04:12.360 And yeah, like, I don't know how to be, to be quite honest with you.
00:04:16.360 Like, why would a guy see the value in me if he doesn't even see the value in, this is
00:04:22.360 going to sound so crazy.
00:04:23.360 I don't care how I'm going to say it.
00:04:24.360 If you don't see the beauty in like the world and the land and all of these things, why, 0.97
00:04:29.360 why the fuck would you think I'm valuable? 0.96
00:04:31.360 You don't even think the Great Canyons, like its value speaks for itself. 0.99
00:04:35.360 So you're not going to see the value in me.
00:04:39.360 Like, so yeah, I mean, for me, I don't, I don't want a millionaire over someone who would
00:04:45.360 want to do that with me.
00:04:46.360 That's just where I'm at.
00:04:47.360 And I'm okay with that.
00:04:48.360 It's not like,
00:04:49.360 I said Grand Canyon is a big ditch in higher.
00:04:54.360 Oh my God.
00:04:55.360 Whatever.
00:04:56.360 But that's what I'm saying.
00:04:57.360 Like you're looking at the world with a feminine lens. 0.97
00:05:00.360 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:01.360 Like the man will see the Grand Canyon.
00:05:03.360 Like, I just think of my brothers.
00:05:04.360 Okay.
00:05:05.360 And they're not, they're not trying to look at the Grand Canyon and see the beauty in it.
00:05:09.360 And my dad is, I look up to my dad more than anyone in the world.
00:05:12.360 He is a great, he is a great man.
00:05:14.360 Okay.
00:05:15.360 And like, I go to him for like everything.
00:05:18.360 And I'm like, he would think it was cool, but he's trying to bike it.
00:05:23.360 But that, but that to me is cool.
00:05:25.360 No, but that's what I'm saying though.
00:05:27.360 Like somebody who would want to bike is someone who would want to hike.
00:05:29.360 Like that to me, it's not about like, Oh, wow.
00:05:32.360 Just the Grand Canyon.
00:05:33.360 It's more so that, like, I think that's cool.
00:05:36.360 Him even wanting to bike is cool to me.
00:05:38.360 That's the kind of guy I would want.
00:05:39.360 Like, I would love to bike the Grand Canyon with someone that I love that it's like,
00:05:43.360 but it's like, see, this is where I often like kind of see where the guys are coming from.
00:05:47.360 Cause it's like, my dad probably would be looked over by most women when he was in his twenties.
00:05:52.360 He was a little nerdy guy.
00:05:53.360 The university of Chicago.
00:05:54.360 Shout out dad.
00:05:55.360 Shout out.
00:05:56.360 Yeah.
00:05:57.360 Shout out.
00:05:58.360 Shout out father.
00:05:59.360 Um, I already know these comments are hilarious.
00:06:04.360 Oh my God.
00:06:05.360 Can I read you one?
00:06:06.360 It's kind of mean though.
00:06:07.360 I won't.
00:06:08.360 I won't.
00:06:09.360 I won't.
00:06:10.360 I just had asked her to stop being a ho. 1.00
00:06:12.360 What did they think would happen?
00:06:14.360 Like what she's going to say.
00:06:15.360 Yeah.
00:06:16.360 Um, okay.
00:06:17.360 Oh guys, the Tate and the Tate Brittany Pearl video.
00:06:23.360 Um, it's probably coming out Friday.
00:06:25.360 My thumbnail guy is out of town this week.
00:06:27.360 Um, so he's out of town until Thursday.
00:06:29.360 So Friday, we're going to do it.
00:06:32.360 Um, how did you feel about that conversation?
00:06:34.360 Like as a whole?
00:06:36.360 Good.
00:06:37.360 Um, I think I was saying, I think if I had to do it over again, I would have had one, maybe
00:06:42.360 two less people on the panel.
00:06:44.360 Okay.
00:06:45.360 Cause I really wanted to hear you more and I felt like there was some people on the panel
00:06:50.360 that just like kept talking for a very long time.
00:06:53.360 Yeah.
00:06:54.360 And I think too, I want to clarify cause I, like I know that they're going to love that
00:06:58.360 video.
00:06:59.360 Like I love that you even put that together and thought about adding me to that.
00:07:02.360 Um, when I am in a group setting, especially like that, that type of panel, I'm an active
00:07:07.360 listener.
00:07:08.360 So when somebody is talking, you be quiet, you don't talk.
00:07:11.360 So I think that's why for me, when people are going around and there's three people that
00:07:14.360 have made a point, whatever I had to say, I'm just like, I kind of didn't get to say
00:07:18.360 it because again, I believe in just listening and let people, letting people talk.
00:07:21.360 And then when it's my turn to talk, I'll talk.
00:07:23.360 So I didn't have a lot of times where it was my turn to talk.
00:07:25.360 Yeah.
00:07:26.360 And when I did, I thought I kind of had to like, Hey, actually, you know?
00:07:29.360 So yeah, it wasn't like, like I, and again, I liked a lot of the stuff that we talked about,
00:07:33.360 you know?
00:07:34.360 Yeah.
00:07:35.360 I think if I had to do it again, but something tells me, you know, there may be another one in
00:07:40.360 the future.
00:07:41.360 Yeah.
00:07:42.360 Do you want to get married?
00:07:43.360 Are you okay?
00:07:46.360 Would you be okay with a long-term relationship without marriage?
00:07:50.360 Yes.
00:07:51.360 I've actually thought about this because I would, I don't even think it's really the paper that
00:07:57.360 I want.
00:07:58.360 I think it's just the commitment.
00:07:59.360 And like, I would love, I think I like the idea of a wedding more than we have to go sign
00:08:04.360 this.
00:08:05.360 And then when we divorce the courts are in our business because of like what I'm going through
00:08:09.360 with the child support custody stuff, getting out of that contract is going to be hard.
00:08:13.360 Right?
00:08:14.360 So yeah, I would be, I would want like, still I want to ring, still want a wedding, but
00:08:20.360 I wouldn't have to, I don't think we would have to do it in front of the courts.
00:08:23.360 Yeah.
00:08:24.360 It would just be a commitment to each other.
00:08:25.360 And like I said, I've actually thought about that because I think I was watching one of
00:08:28.360 your videos where a lot of women just want the celebration, the wedding and they, and 0.99
00:08:32.360 they don't actually care to get married.
00:08:34.360 Um, so yeah, I would be open to that.
00:08:36.360 Would you be okay with like, cause I always say, I would be cool with just, I want to
00:08:40.360 say a courthouse wedding.
00:08:41.360 Okay.
00:08:42.360 But you know, I, then I'm like, you know, if he doesn't want to do the contract, that's
00:08:47.360 fine.
00:08:48.360 But I was thinking like, just like a small thing with like my parents and my immediate
00:08:51.360 family.
00:08:52.360 Like I think that sounds nicer than like this big, like who needs 300 people at a wedding?
00:08:57.360 Yeah.
00:08:58.360 I don't even know 300 people that would show up.
00:08:59.360 So no, I, I love the idea of just like the ceremony and reception and people just celebrating
00:09:04.360 your, your guys' union.
00:09:06.360 And it doesn't have to be in front of, like I said on paper.
00:09:09.360 So that's kind of where I have changed my views a little bit where I'm like, it's not
00:09:13.360 even really the contract that I'm wanting. 0.99
00:09:15.360 Cause like, whatever, who gives a fuck? 0.97
00:09:16.360 I just want you and like all the fun stuff that comes along with it. 0.99
00:09:21.360 That's, you know.
00:09:22.360 Sorry.
00:09:23.360 I just know how the guys are going to see.
00:09:26.360 They're like the fun stuff that comes with it.
00:09:28.360 They're like, they've been sold a fairytale to Disney.
00:09:30.360 I mean, it is what it is, but it's like, yeah, I mean, cause it's not just about like,
00:09:36.360 like, I want to be able to, again, if I, especially if I'm marrying someone who has all of this,
00:09:40.360 I've always been open to prenups.
00:09:42.360 Like I, cause it's never about like, oh, I want to take half of everything.
00:09:45.360 Um, even when I was with my ex, like we had talked about prenups, like whatever, you know,
00:09:51.360 I'm cool with that.
00:09:52.360 But I think that's just where it's like, yeah, you, you want the, the cute stuff that comes
00:09:56.360 with marriage.
00:09:57.360 But I don't even really know if people actually want to go through the process, especially
00:10:00.360 of getting out of it.
00:10:01.360 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:10:07.360 on this platform.
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