JustPearlyThings - The Delusional Woman Got CONFUSED

00:00:00.000 I don't think that, I don't think women are being believed at all.

00:00:03.160 I do think it's very detrimental.

00:00:04.920 There's literally a social media campaign called Believe All Women.

00:00:08.080 Yeah, literally.

00:00:08.880 It's called Believe All Women.

00:00:10.320 And I think the reason why they say that is because a lot of the time

00:00:13.120 were not believed because people would just assume that,

00:00:15.440 like, if I was to say, if I'm to sit down with my friend and be like,

00:00:18.640 oh, I got sexually assaulted, a lot of people's first answer would be like,

00:00:21.600 oh, well.

00:00:22.800 What if there's a campaign that came out that said Believe All Men?

00:00:25.920 Oh, that sounds fantastic.

00:00:27.120 That's good.

00:00:28.160 You think that's good?

00:00:29.440 I might support it, you know what I mean?

00:00:31.520 That should be the name of all mixtapes.

00:00:33.920 And then, so you said in what context, let's flip the question back on you.

00:00:38.000 Believe All Women in what context?

00:00:39.600 Because there have been documented cases where women, I mean, 0.98

00:00:43.120 that one girl here in the UK who said she was graped by a bunch of Asian dudes

00:00:48.800 and she took a hammer, her name was Ellie, she busted her face open, 1.00

00:00:53.040 and she went on this huge thing, and these two guys were locked in prison for a while,

00:00:58.080 and it came out that she made up the entire thing.

00:01:02.800 So do we believe all women still? 1.00

00:01:05.040 I think when they, sorry.

00:01:07.600 No, go.

00:01:07.920 You will see.

00:01:09.040 Oh, no, no, no, it's coming on.

00:01:10.640 But I think it's, we can say, be very careful who you choose to communicate with, because

00:01:19.200 it seems like there's bad women and there's bad men. 0.68

00:01:21.840 For sure.

00:01:22.640 So I think that can cover the issues that we're talking about right now, rather than it's all,

00:01:30.560 everything's on the woman, everything's on the man.

00:01:32.480 Yeah.

00:01:32.960 So I think it's everything on the individual, and we have to make our choices and live with them as well.

00:01:39.200 Basically judge it by a case by case basis. We look at the information, the facts, both the

00:01:45.120 individuals, and then we deduct it from there. Anything else is kind of dangerous.

00:01:49.280 A due process, which they're throwing away nowadays.

00:01:52.480 You know, a lot of places you're guilty. If social media says you're guilty, you're guilty.

00:01:57.040 I almost think we like convince women to be traumatized by things we shouldn't be traumatized by. 0.64

00:02:01.920 I just can't get over this coercion. He convinced you to have sex?

00:02:05.280 Yeah. 0.99

00:02:05.840 Okay, you take an L. Like sometimes in life you take an L.

00:02:09.280 I was literally just listening to all of this, and I just, I have an issue understanding.

00:02:14.240 If, let's say, it doesn't matter if you're a feminist or not a feminist, but this thing of 1.00

00:02:20.080 think like a man and act like a woman or something like that, right?

00:02:24.240 So why don't you just take it into action? Why don't you actually do it where you think,

00:02:31.360 okay, well, a masculine trait is too assertive. So why don't you be assertive in that situation?

00:02:37.440 I mean, fair enough. Okay. So you're in a room with a guy because you decided to get attention

00:02:43.200 from him. You decided that you want to go out with him and let him, I don't know, pay for your dinner

00:02:48.560 and then go back home with him. So you have the right to say, you know, okay, well, I don't think

00:02:54.400 this is a good idea. I don't want to have sex with this guy. But the thing is, why in that specific 0.96

00:03:00.960 moment would you lose that completely? And just be like, oh my God, he absolutely and completely

00:03:07.120 did whatever else, you know? Yeah. Just say no. And most guys, and I promise you,

00:03:15.040 obviously we have cases we spoke about, but most guys would be like, okay, I'm sorry. Are you

00:03:19.520 uncomfortable? If you are, that's fine. We don't have to do this.

00:03:23.280 But what, so I think you're misunderstanding what I mean by sexual coercion.

00:03:27.280 So I understand that you could feel guilty because you spoke enough about this and I understand.

00:03:32.640 Because you said there's no physical thing. With sexual coercion, a lot of the time,

00:03:37.280 the woman has said no. That's what I'm trying to say. So when you're in a room with a guy,

00:03:42.160 the woman's already said no. And the man is trying to convince you to have sex. 0.97

00:03:45.360 Okay. If he's trying hard, one, you can call your brother. You can call the police. You can say, 0.99

00:03:50.480 listen, please don't touch me. Please stop doing this because I genuinely do not want to have sex 0.99

00:03:54.320 with you. You're doing everything to get out of the situation. And most women have got intuition. 0.99

00:04:00.160 So if you go on a date with someone, you can already tell that this guy is a little bit off.

00:04:04.640 And I have like, you have this as a woman within you, that femininity that tells you, okay, 0.93

00:04:09.920 I need to be careful around this person. And how would you get naked?

00:04:13.920 Like, you know, you don't even need to be naked, but I've, I've got a question then. 0.98

00:04:17.040 To have sex? So I've got a question. So if, if you, 0.94

00:04:20.320 if someone wants to have sex with you and you've already said, no. Yeah. So you said the word, 0.96

00:04:33.040 no. And that person is still trying to persuade you to have sex. 0.80

00:04:36.880 Do you, you get angry. You move away. You're assertive. 0.52

00:04:39.920 No, listen, I said, no, unless you're young.

00:04:42.160 What about just leaving? Yeah.

00:04:43.280 Can you just, was the door locked?

00:04:44.800 Yeah. And what I'm trying to say is,

00:04:46.240 I'm not trying to say that a woman shouldn't do any of them things.

00:04:48.720 They're the kinds of things that we should be talking about.

00:04:50.800 But I'm saying that sexual coercion is a thing because a lot of the time, women don't, 1.00

00:04:55.600 women don't have that strength. And we can't blame women for not being assertive. 1.00

00:04:58.720 No, either we're equal or we're not.

00:05:01.520 We want to be equal under the law.

00:05:03.040 We're equal, but each person is different.

00:05:05.040 Each man is different.

00:05:06.640 We're equal, but there's men that are not dominant.

00:05:09.040 There's men that are...

00:05:09.760 Are you mute? Like, why can't they say no?

00:05:12.960 Yeah, but I'm saying women have said no. 1.00

00:05:14.960 Are their legs not work? Can they not?

00:05:16.880 Their legs can spread. Why can't the legs walk away? 1.00

00:05:19.440 I know, but I just, I just wouldn't...

00:05:20.960 I think I get what you're saying.

00:05:22.800 ...blaming a victim.

00:05:24.800 If a woman said no and a man still is really just crying, 0.96

00:05:28.880 like you don't understand how scary men can be a lot of the time.

00:05:31.760 If a man is really trying, a lot of the women would just feel scared. 1.00

00:05:34.720 A lot of women are vulnerable, vulnerable. 0.99

00:05:37.200 A lot of women are vulnerable as well.

00:05:38.960 So they'll end up saying yes just out of fear or just feeling like they have to.

00:05:43.360 Is he threatening them?

00:05:44.880 Not threatening.

00:05:45.840 Well, some men can, but a lot of women would just do it out of a state of vulnerability. 1.00

00:05:49.920 Have men threatened you? 0.71

00:05:52.080 Threatened me to have sex. 0.85

00:05:53.120 Yeah, because you just said men, some men can threaten you. 0.96

00:05:55.920 They can threaten me.

00:05:56.960 Like what, I'm going to punch you in the face if you don't take off your top?

00:06:00.480 No, but a lot of the time women just feel fear just to say no. 1.00

00:06:04.960 Because you just said that men will threaten you, so how are they threatening you?

00:06:08.720 They could.

00:06:09.520 A man's not threatened me personally, but they could say that.

00:06:12.480 So then you can't use that as anecdotal evidence when you don't have any experience.

00:06:17.040 Women have got threatened.

00:06:18.560 Because all that's happening right now is like you're...

00:06:20.320 Or they could also be guilt chipping as well.

00:06:22.160 Brilliant.

00:06:22.720 But it's still, but if you know is no.

00:06:23.920 Can I ask you a question quickly?

00:06:25.280 So if you guys, so before you get to the situation where you're back at the house

00:06:29.600 and the sexual coercion happens, when you guys are having a dinner or whatnot,

00:06:34.800 and a check comes, and everything's unspoken, and then he goes to pay, 0.99

00:06:40.160 and your ass is quiet, is he being financially coerced right then and there? 0.99

00:06:45.360 Yes. 1.00

00:06:46.800 That is financial coercion.

00:06:48.400 No, it'll be financial coercion if he's saying I don't want to pay,

00:06:52.160 and I'm forcing him to pay.

00:06:53.120 You guys are not understanding.

00:06:54.080 It starts with the no.

00:06:55.920 That's what it starts with.

00:06:57.040 It starts with the no, and then you're still trying to make...

00:07:00.320 Well, doesn't it kind of start with the context of the situation?

00:07:05.360 Because in the sexual coercion situation, there's the context of you two being alone,

00:07:10.160 being amorous before, and then the situation...

00:07:13.440 Do you know, everything before then is unspoken,

00:07:16.000 and then it gets to the part where, you know what, you're not down with it.

00:07:19.600 Same thing in a restaurant.

00:07:20.560 You guys are eating, you guys are having a good time, 0.99

00:07:22.800 then that motherfucking check comes. 0.99

00:07:25.200 So, explain the nuance. We need to know the nuance. 0.99

00:07:30.080 Yeah, I mean, then it goes back to just personal responsibility.

00:07:33.840 Like, because if you're a guy, and you think that a girl may not be trustworthy,

00:07:39.840 or she has a history of accusing people, or, you know, she just seems a little edgy,

00:07:45.840 like, you have to understand that, like, if you get involved with this girl, you know,

00:07:50.080 there could be repercussions as well.

00:07:52.560 And I think a lot of guys calculate that risk as well.

00:07:55.040 I actually think men should not date, and nothing personal,

00:07:59.040 but I actually think men shouldn't date women that think coercion is sexual assault,

00:08:03.040 because you don't know what she's going to, like, say that you did.

00:08:05.600 Yeah.

00:08:06.080 You do not know what, yeah.

00:08:07.920 You should not date women like that, because men have too much to lose in this society. 1.00

00:08:15.120 Yeah, I mean, if they have any of the symptoms, if she has, like, pronouns in her bio,

00:08:19.760 like, all right, swipe left on that one, you know.

00:08:24.640 There's certain symptoms of women you have to avoid, not saying you, just general. 0.97

00:08:27.680 Well, and I just don't understand, if these men are so scary, like, why are you alone with them?

00:08:31.120 Yeah.

00:08:31.680 If you don't want to do it, like, why are you alone with them before you're married?

00:08:34.160 Then just don't be alone with them until you get married.

00:08:36.240 Yeah, which is true, and that's why I'm saying it is true, but.

00:08:39.520 I think I can understand a little bit where you're coming from, in the sense that you might get a certain,

00:08:49.760 let's say, we know that something like this is more likely to happen to younger women than older women.

00:08:58.400 We know, let's say, women, this is now a personal opinion. 1.00

00:09:12.320 When you're bringing a child up, it's a little girl, it might not be like this for every upbringing,

00:09:25.120 but you say to a little girl, oh, darling, do this for me, be a good girl.

00:09:30.720 Can you do this for me? Can you do that for me?

00:09:34.320 For me, more than the boy, mum going to the boy, can you do this for me? Can you do that for me?

00:09:39.760 So, as a basis, I feel like, women get asked, can you do, can you take out the trash? 1.00

00:09:49.200 Or, can you do this? Can you do that? And we're, yes, yes, I can do this, I can do this.

00:09:54.080 Really? I heard, I don't cook, I don't clean.

00:09:57.920 That's some women as well, but, and that's a lot of women. 1.00

00:10:02.720 That's a lot of women, but let's say the women were, when they were little girls, 1.00

00:10:07.680 they had their mum and dad go, please, can you do this? Please, can you do that?

00:10:11.040 Even if you don't want to, do it for me.

00:10:13.520 So, when she grows up and when she's like 17, she might meet a guy that says the same thing,

00:10:19.760 do this for me, do that for me. And I get it, the girl should know better. 0.95

00:10:24.160 But when she's had that all her life, and then this feels kind of like,

00:10:28.400 oh, it's not that big of a step from what I've known.

00:10:30.640 And then it happens, and then she wakes up the next day and thinks,

00:10:36.960 all my life, I've had this, and then this has happened to me.

00:10:39.600 I thought it was okay, it's now not, I feel really bad.

00:10:42.800 She shouldn't blame the guy, but look at herself, and then make adjustments through that.

00:10:49.520 Yeah, so I'm just pulling up the definition of the word coerce.

00:10:52.720 So, coerce is to persuade an unwilling person to do something by using force or threats.

00:11:00.480 So, putting those two words together, sexual coercion, based upon your definition,

00:11:06.400 you are not sexually coerced.

00:11:08.480 Okay, if it's by force, then you're going to get...

00:11:10.480 Because that's what the, unless Google's wrong, but it says,

00:11:13.360 persuade an unwilling person to do something by using force or threats.

00:11:17.760 So, do you think that maybe you felt regret after it, or, and that's why?

00:11:22.240 As I stated, sexual coercion, I'm not saying it's something that's happened to me,

00:11:26.160 I'm talking about in general.

00:11:27.600 I thought you just said it happened to you.

00:11:28.880 I said sexual assault has happened to me, not coercion.

00:11:33.200 Okay, an essay.

00:11:35.840 Okay, what I'm trying to say is, in general, if a woman has said no,

00:11:42.960 I think anything after that, you should really be looking at the guy.

00:11:48.000 If, if you have said no, and the man is really just trying to force it and really trying to make,

00:11:54.000 like, I don't understand why nobody can see how that's wrong.

00:11:57.840 I don't, and what you just said is really interesting.

00:12:00.000 I liked what you said, especially when we're growing up as women.

00:12:03.760 I think overall, like what you were saying is that a woman grows up to be assertive.

00:12:08.000 Like, we have to do this, we have to say yes, yes, mum, duh, duh, do you know what I'm saying?

00:12:12.640 Whereas there's women that grow up, who are able to, I feel like women that grow up who are taught how to be more dominant, 0.99

00:12:19.520 and are able to say no, would be more better in them situations.

00:12:23.040 But a lot of women are vulnerable, a lot of women don't really know how to say no in them situations. 1.00

00:12:27.200 And a lot of guys take advantage of that. A lot of men can see that when a lot of men take advantage of weaker women and take them back to their place.

00:12:35.920 But why are those women in dangerous situations then? Why are they in potentially dangerous situations? 1.00

00:12:41.360 And as I said, they shouldn't be in them situations, but they're in it now. They're in it.

00:12:45.280 But this is my issue. This is my issue. It's like, nothing is ever our fault. It's always the men's fault. 0.74

00:12:51.520 Nothing. It's always, oh, poor me. I was convinced to do this, where it's like, no, you made that choice, then don't be alone with men.

00:13:01.360 So, if you, you don't have any children, do you?

00:13:04.320 No kids, no.

00:13:05.440 So, when you eventually have a female daughter, and your female daughter, God forbid, touch wood, but if your female daughter comes up to you and says, 0.82

00:13:17.520 crying in your arms, and says that she ended up sleeping with some guy, she said no to him multiple times, she said no to him on multiple occasions.

00:13:25.200 And then she decided to?

00:13:26.240 And then one day, she went to a party, and then they went, they were in a room together, and he ended up, obviously, you don't believe in coercion, so he ended up, um...

00:13:35.360 Convincing her?

00:13:36.240 Not convincing her, but just kept on...

00:13:38.000 Did she, did she open her legs willingly?

00:13:40.160 So, even if your daughter came up to you crying, you wouldn't feel any...

00:13:42.960 I'm asking, okay, the crying doesn't matter. I'm asking the facts of the case.

00:13:46.000 Yeah, because you're trying to use an emotionally manipulative thing right now.

00:13:49.360 Did she open her legs willingly? 0.85

00:13:51.680 Did he force her, or did she open them?

00:13:53.760 She would have done it, yeah.

00:13:54.880 Oh, okay.

00:13:55.840 Well, then I would say, well, take that out.

00:13:58.240 Wait, it's just...

00:13:59.120 Fair enough, yeah.

00:14:00.400 And that's like a little, that's like a little bit of an emotionally manipulative statement to, like, a theoretical thing to make, to just try to prove your point.

00:14:10.400 You know, because personal responsibility is personal responsibility.

00:14:13.920 Okay.

00:14:14.400 No matter what, if somebody, if you're in a situation where you're telling the person no, and they're still pushing, then you have to leave the situation.

00:14:21.920 Because now that person has showed you that they are not socially there.

00:14:27.200 Like, they don't get it.

00:14:28.080 Uh-huh.

00:14:28.640 So, you got to leave, because that person has showed you they're now straying from the social norms, and this is not a normal person.

00:14:36.160 And you got to get away from normal people, because that's not okay.

00:14:38.720 I mean, you spoke about maturity and, like, I think both of you, about, like, growing up and stuff and upbringing.

00:14:44.240 I'm very into the upbringing of people in general, because it's kind of what makes you a person and the person that you are right now.

00:14:51.520 Um, so, okay, let's say you said women, um, I don't want to quote exactly, but women who grew up to be more dominant, uh, have it easier, they find it easier to say no, right?

00:15:05.040 This is just from my opinion, not a fact.

00:15:07.040 Okay, so that's, so from your opinion, yeah?

00:15:09.360 Mm-hmm, yeah.

00:15:09.840 So, that's subjective.

00:15:10.960 Okay, so, they find it easier to say no, but then, okay, if you're from a household where you grew up to be, um, extremely timid as a person, and you're in this situation, you found yourself in this situation, wouldn't you know, or wouldn't you be scared in the beginning, to start with, that, hold on, if I go home with this guy,

00:15:34.480 something like this could have happened.

00:15:37.140 Yeah, and like, yeah, like I've said already, um, if you're in them kind of situations, you shouldn't put yourself in them kind of situations.

00:15:46.480 If you think the guy's a creep, do not go home with the guy.

00:15:49.040 If you think the guy's weird, do not go home with the guy.

00:15:51.240 If you don't want to sleep with the guy, but you feel like the guy would want to sleep with you, don't go home with him.

00:15:55.640 I'm agreeing with absolutely everything that you guys are saying, but what I'm trying to say is, once it's got to that point where a woman has said no, 0.99

00:16:04.480 I do not want to sleep with you, and the guy is still trying to force it, despite everything that's happened, the woman still said no, and the guy's a fucking creep. 0.98

00:16:13.980 Does she say, does she say no, or does she say, ha, ha, ha, no, no, stop? 0.99

00:16:20.020 Because you know they're different.

00:16:23.020 I'm just saying no.

00:16:23.680 Because you know, you hear girls, like, that's how they flirt half the time, stop it. 1.00

00:16:27.800 You've never heard that?

00:16:28.860 No, I know what you're saying, but I just don't know, but just from what I'm saying, there's women that will literally say no, and this is coming from experiences where I've spoken to people.

00:16:39.660 There's women where they will literally say no, and the guy will still carry on, and I just really wish, and your mindsets, if this is the mindset you guys want to have, it's literally fair enough. 0.98

00:16:48.700 But I just really wish that people could just, I don't know, I feel like there will be a man that is watching this right now.

00:16:54.580 He's nodding his head, thinking, yeah, thinking it's right, but I feel like, no, we should be saying that once a woman has said no, don't carry on. 1.00

00:17:02.380 No, no, I get what you're saying.

00:17:03.840 Yeah, we're not saying it's okay.

00:17:04.940 What do you have to say for a woman who says no to a guy that's trying to make certain sexual advances, but then stays in the same situation with homeboy?

00:17:14.060 So she literally has said no, she's made it clear that she's uncomfortable, the guy's made it clear that he's been persistent, but she still continues to be around said guy.

00:17:23.960 Like, she could say, no, you're making me feel uncomfortable, I'm going to remove myself from the situation.

00:17:30.180 Yeah, and that's true, and that's the message that I feel like podcasts, especially because you're such a powerful person, Pearl, and I feel like that's the message you should be spreading then.

00:17:39.340 Yeah, in these kind of situations, you should be removing yourself away from it.

00:17:43.860 It shouldn't be something where we blame the woman.

00:17:46.040 I want to make a quick, so what are you trying to tell Pearl her message should be here on this podcast?

00:17:54.260 Your message can be whatever you want to say.

00:17:55.720 No, no, no, because in this context, you just said she is a powerful podcast, so in a perfect world, what would you like her to say in regards to the situation?

00:18:05.180 If a guy is hearing the words no, you want all guys to stop.

00:18:11.120 That should just be common knowledge, to be honest.

00:18:13.300 Nobody said, nobody argued that, the opposite to that here.

00:18:17.380 No, I'm saying it in general.

00:18:18.440 I'm just saying in general it should be common knowledge.

00:18:20.220 Right. 0.98

00:18:20.620 It also should be common knowledge for women not to lie about certain things, like who's the baby daddy and shit, but that still happens. 1.00

00:18:26.960 But that's not what we're talking about.

00:18:28.940 I know, I know, but you're trying to argue for a utopian right here, and it doesn't like, nobody has argued against your point, so we don't really know what you're going on about.

00:18:43.000 Because nobody said, like, yeah, she should stay there and have sex with that guy, even though she said no, because she was leading him down a false reality, a false belief.

00:18:53.680 You know, she was misguiding the guy. 0.98

00:18:56.140 Nobody's saying that.

00:18:57.260 Can I answer the question, please?

00:18:58.960 Okay.

00:18:59.060 Because we've been on this topic for a little bit now, we're kind of going in circles.

00:19:01.960 It doesn't, I don't understand what's happening.

00:19:03.440 Am I able to answer the question?

00:19:04.880 So, I'm confused if you're saying nobody understands what I'm saying.

00:19:08.200 What I'm trying to say is extremely clear.

00:19:10.580 I feel like in situations where if a woman says no, and a man still carries on to try and persuade that woman to have sex, that man is wrong.

00:19:20.800 I feel like there should be more responsibility on the man.

00:19:22.620 To answer your first question that you said.

00:19:25.680 To add to that.

00:19:27.120 So, nobody, I want to clarify, nobody said the man was not wrong.

00:19:33.600 Okay.

00:19:34.240 I'm just saying.

00:19:35.260 So, that's point one.

00:19:35.840 Go ahead.

00:19:36.660 I'm literally just, okay.

00:19:38.380 Anyway.

00:19:38.920 So, to answer his question, I just generally think that conversations where we're talking about, oh, so many women lie, duh, duh, duh. 0.82

00:19:47.800 I think it's very detrimental for women that are watching this, that will be watching it because.

00:19:53.640 No, no, keep going, keep going.

00:19:55.220 Now, I'm just saying, I just think it's just detrimental when there's just constant conversations about women lying about this, women lying, women lying. 0.99

00:20:01.360 I think there should be more conversations, which they have a lot of conversations on it.

00:20:04.320 But I just think we should just really be talking about how these women could protect themselves. 0.82

00:20:07.600 So, yeah, I think that we would stop having conversations about women lying if women lied less. 1.00

00:20:14.160 Excellent.

00:20:14.480 Yeah, I think we would see the conversations go down when we stop seeing story after story after story of women lying. 0.99

00:20:24.240 And, you know, it's like when men lie, it's like, yeah, you know, I slept with that girl. 0.89

00:20:28.340 When a woman lies, it's like, yeah, I was gang raped by a bunch of people over there and I hit my face under the hammer. 0.99

00:20:32.740 Yeah, and honestly, my message to guys would be to protect yourself, get ring cameras in your entire apartment, get everywhere, because women do have a lot of power and they can't say damn near everything. 1.00

00:20:45.740 And tech is starting to catch up with these women who are lying. 1.00

00:20:49.220 You know what I mean?

00:20:49.600 They're starting to catch up with a lot.

00:20:51.780 Thank God for modern technology.

00:20:53.160 Like, it's happened to the guy with an Arizona Cardinal cheerleader.

00:20:57.240 I mean, it's happened so many times where modern women have been debunked. 1.00

JustPearlyThings - June 27, 2023

The Delusional Woman Got CONFUSED

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