JustPearlyThings - March 18, 2023


The Downfall Of Modern Women


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

208.2937

Word Count

2,920

Sentence Count

234

Misogynist Sentences

37

Hate Speech Sentences

19


Summary

In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a man in modern day society and how important it is to have a good relationship with your father. We also discuss the importance of a good father figure in our lives and how to deal with problems that we may not be able to handle on our own.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 It's nasty.
00:00:00.840 Get away from me.
00:00:01.660 I don't even want guy friends who don't take accountability.
00:00:03.880 Get away from me.
00:00:04.960 But me personally, as a man,
00:00:06.640 who do you go to to talk to about it?
00:00:08.680 Because personally, I don't have anyone.
00:00:10.880 I don't know about the other men, but I know-
00:00:12.680 You don't have mentors?
00:00:14.600 I have people I think of mentors,
00:00:16.440 but not people that I would go to emotionally
00:00:18.160 to talk about my problems.
00:00:19.760 As a man, you sit there and deal with them yourself.
00:00:22.600 But I know all women mates,
00:00:24.600 and my missus mates and so on,
00:00:26.240 where if they're in trouble,
00:00:28.040 something went wrong, whatever,
00:00:29.040 and I was like, oh my God,
00:00:29.880 and he talked to someone about this.
00:00:30.880 Where's your father?
00:00:31.640 They have five, 10, 15.
00:00:32.840 Oh, my father's alive, he's all right, yeah.
00:00:34.240 Why can't you go to your father?
00:00:36.520 I don't know, we have this-
00:00:37.600 We have this relationship.
00:00:38.440 No, we have a great relationship.
00:00:41.080 He's my role model in some ways,
00:00:43.800 but he has his own problems that I don't wanna-
00:00:47.160 You don't wanna go and bother someone else
00:00:49.200 with your problems.
00:00:50.040 So then it's an issue with you then?
00:00:51.600 No, my number one is my pops.
00:00:53.440 If things are, right, like my pops,
00:00:55.880 you know, he's my example of what to be a man
00:00:59.520 in modern day society today is,
00:01:01.600 especially, you know, being a black man in America.
00:01:04.360 He is my example.
00:01:05.680 And I make sure that big decisions
00:01:07.680 that are within my life,
00:01:09.120 of things that I may not know the answers to,
00:01:11.040 and I consider myself a genuinely,
00:01:13.000 sometimes, most of the times, a wise guy.
00:01:15.360 You know, but for things that, you know,
00:01:16.760 I just can't quite figure out,
00:01:17.960 I make sure that I go to him.
00:01:19.360 Now, I know at the same time,
00:01:20.560 there's a lot of young men out there
00:01:22.200 that don't have that father figure.
00:01:24.200 And actually, I think that's a large degree
00:01:25.720 and a component.
00:01:26.720 That's why channels like mine have blown up,
00:01:28.600 is because there's a lot of young men out there
00:01:30.400 that might've been raised in a single parent household
00:01:32.800 that have questions regarding things
00:01:34.960 that are happening to themselves within their lives
00:01:37.080 that they don't quite have the answer to.
00:01:39.200 So I'm actually surprised to hear
00:01:40.680 that your father is as active as what he is,
00:01:42.440 but you don't go to him.
00:01:43.520 It might be different between England and America,
00:01:47.120 but from over here where I'm from in Southampton,
00:01:49.840 pretty much every guy that I know
00:01:51.880 would say the same as me.
00:01:53.280 So maybe it's a, I don't know, a difference there.
00:01:55.760 Do you think culture, are you saying that culturally,
00:01:57.800 men are taught not to say anything then?
00:02:00.640 Growing up in schools, yeah.
00:02:01.960 I think it was always man up,
00:02:04.000 get on and do this, sort this out.
00:02:06.160 And I think that's the struggle men go through.
00:02:09.040 And men can actually talk about it.
00:02:10.880 That's what it is.
00:02:11.880 What you guys don't understand
00:02:12.880 is that women relate emotionally.
00:02:15.040 Like we can empathize.
00:02:16.720 And so when a woman goes through something
00:02:18.640 or she cheats, we feel this, we can,
00:02:21.920 we try to like bring empathy to what's going on with her.
00:02:26.240 Men are, you know, are more logical
00:02:29.120 in their thinking and deductive reasoning.
00:02:31.120 This goes into biology and how men's brains are wired.
00:02:35.320 So logically women will always try to, you know,
00:02:38.680 there's confirmation bias as well
00:02:40.560 because there are other women.
00:02:42.120 So like we wouldn't give an excuse to a woman
00:02:44.360 who sleeps with our husband or our man.
00:02:47.080 And like, we got a problem with that.
00:02:48.760 But if it's our girlfriend, someone we like,
00:02:50.840 or someone in the sisterhood,
00:02:52.280 there's this kind of like this camaraderie.
00:02:54.200 Men do it as well.
00:02:55.160 Men feel a camaraderie for each other.
00:02:57.000 So, but I will say overall, men are much more,
00:03:00.120 you know, like they're going to,
00:03:02.360 men are made to, to discipline men are made.
00:03:05.160 They're not going to get into the emotions of like,
00:03:07.400 I don't like my father, I don't care what you felt.
00:03:09.880 What did you do?
00:03:11.400 Like, like quit the, quit the crying, quit the tears.
00:03:15.240 I get it.
00:03:16.200 You feel this way, but you have real world consequences.
00:03:19.960 And I think most women are either treated like princesses
00:03:23.240 by their fathers or they don't have accountability growing up.
00:03:26.360 They don't know what it looks like.
00:03:27.720 And this is why they're offended by it.
00:03:29.480 And if something happens to another woman,
00:03:31.480 we want to be understanding because we automatically,
00:03:34.280 empathy puts us in their shoes.
00:03:36.440 Like we could see how they feel because we may have felt a certain way,
00:03:39.960 even if we've never done that action, but it doesn't excuse it away.
00:03:43.160 They still need to be held accountable.
00:03:45.080 But that's why so many women buck against conversations like this,
00:03:48.200 because it's like, how dare you say something?
00:03:50.520 It's all these men and men and women cheat at almost the same rate,
00:03:53.800 but yet it's always men, women.
00:03:56.920 Maggie, I wonder, what were you shaking your head at?
00:03:58.840 Uh, yeah.
00:03:59.880 I mean, you said a few things there, Melanie, some I agree with.
00:04:03.080 I think we ended up where we agreed,
00:04:04.760 but I think ultimately men have the burden of duty and honor put on them
00:04:10.760 that women don't.
00:04:12.280 And so to answer your question as to why a man would be labeled a cheater
00:04:16.120 is because you're supposed to do right.
00:04:18.360 Where a woman is coddled and kind of given the there there,
00:04:23.000 which I don't agree with.
00:04:24.760 We can still empathize and still call it wrong.
00:04:28.440 For example, back to the other point,
00:04:30.120 if I'm speeding through a traffic light because my son is in an accident,
00:04:33.480 I'm trying to get to the hospital.
00:04:34.760 I go through a red light.
00:04:35.720 It's still wrong.
00:04:37.160 I may explain the reason why, but if I have to pay a ticket for it,
00:04:40.760 I pay a ticket for it where we are.
00:04:42.600 It's like, oh, I understand.
00:04:43.960 Go ahead and, and, you know, go scot-free.
00:04:45.880 So that's what I wanted to say.
00:04:46.920 What are, what do you think of this conversation?
00:04:49.800 I, I think, um, I don't, you know, no, no, no, no.
00:04:54.920 What were you going to say?
00:04:55.640 Can I, can I?
00:04:55.960 Yeah, I was gonna say a bunch of different things,
00:04:57.800 but I, one of the things that you said is kind of the, the empathy of, um,
00:05:02.520 women, um, and why you guys, you know, kind of communicate like that.
00:05:06.520 And I often think like, you know, I, you know,
00:05:08.520 if I think of like,
00:05:09.080 like the entrance of like a therapist is,
00:05:11.000 I would say a lot more beneficial to most modern women than they are to
00:05:14.600 modern men, depending upon the type of therapist that you go to.
00:05:17.160 I think men should go to male therapists.
00:05:19.320 But the thing is,
00:05:19.960 is like the downfall of a lot of modern women today outside of the simps,
00:05:23.400 the white knights is other modern women that are unwilling to hold them
00:05:27.800 accountable and they'll get into these echo chamber circles and just
00:05:32.120 kumbaya around the totally incorrect thing.
00:05:35.400 And that's why, right?
00:05:36.440 Like I, I suggest, and you know,
00:05:38.120 Kevin used to do it as well to suggest therapy to a lot of modern women
00:05:41.080 because they can get a third party arbitrator to understand the situation
00:05:45.240 and be like, do you know what?
00:05:47.080 I hate to be the bearer in the bad news.
00:05:48.680 However, do you know what's wrong?
00:05:50.520 You know, one of the reasons why I do that into competition,
00:05:54.600 women see each other as competition.
00:05:56.680 Women never give each other's the keys to the game.
00:05:59.640 Okay.
00:05:59.960 So when older women get older, right,
00:06:02.440 they never give younger women the game because the older women are actually
00:06:06.120 vying for the same types of men that the younger women are vying for.
00:06:09.400 Right.
00:06:09.880 And so you never,
00:06:11.240 ever tell your opponent the key to the game.
00:06:13.640 You can console them.
00:06:14.600 Oh, my baby.
00:06:15.800 You're so bad.
00:06:17.000 That's what you've done.
00:06:17.880 Oh my God.
00:06:18.600 Amazing.
00:06:19.320 But the same types of men that the older women want is the same types of men
00:06:22.440 that the younger women want.
00:06:23.480 So the older women are never going to give you the game because they see you
00:06:26.600 as competition.
00:06:27.480 Yeah.
00:06:27.880 We talked about that earlier.
00:06:29.320 Pearl and I were talking about that earlier.
00:06:31.080 I want to come back to you, baby, because you aren't,
00:06:33.720 you aren't talking much.
00:06:34.680 Do you feel,
00:06:35.480 do you have older women in your life that hold you accountable?
00:06:38.120 Um, well,
00:06:39.400 I actually hold myself accountable.
00:06:41.000 No, no, no, no.
00:06:41.720 No one can hold you.
00:06:42.600 You can't hold yourself accountable because we're our own.
00:06:45.080 Like if you don't have outside voice,
00:06:47.000 we just see ourselves how we see ourselves.
00:06:49.240 Accountability comes from someone saying,
00:06:51.320 listen, accountability hurts.
00:06:53.320 We don't hurt ourselves.
00:06:54.360 We don't tell ourselves the things that we need to hear.
00:06:57.240 You're dating a guy, you like him and an older woman say,
00:07:01.080 I see this is going on.
00:07:02.200 I see like this guy is not, you know,
00:07:04.760 that you can trust and notice she's not competing with you.
00:07:07.880 Do you have an older woman in your life?
00:07:09.560 Yeah, definitely.
00:07:10.520 You know, um, some of my mom's friends,
00:07:13.000 when I was a bit more open with my relationship,
00:07:15.880 they would always like throw things at me.
00:07:17.720 Like, oh, if he does this, oh, he's probably cheating,
00:07:21.400 things like that.
00:07:22.120 And it's just, I could tell, you know,
00:07:24.600 they were in competition and they just didn't want me to be happy.
00:07:27.720 So definitely.
00:07:29.000 Really?
00:07:29.400 Well, so it's like,
00:07:30.200 so they actually tried to put your relationship and your man down.
00:07:32.760 Did you feel like they were trying to,
00:07:34.440 they, they, their negativity or their negative experiences,
00:07:37.320 they were trying to put on you and him?
00:07:39.000 Extremely negative. They would just,
00:07:41.000 it would just always be something.
00:07:42.600 And then now I'm very,
00:07:44.440 very private with my relationship and just private with my life.
00:07:47.560 But like, they've never met him.
00:07:49.240 So it's like, how, how do you have so much to say?
00:07:51.720 So do you have anybody,
00:07:53.880 do you have anybody, a woman,
00:07:55.560 an older woman who says, I love you.
00:07:57.960 The only thing I want is the best for you.
00:07:59.880 They're not in competition.
00:08:01.000 They're not trying to put negativity.
00:08:02.760 They want to hear what you have to say.
00:08:04.040 They want to meet him,
00:08:04.920 love on him and actually get the real thing.
00:08:07.160 Do you have any woman in your life like that that's older?
00:08:09.640 No.
00:08:10.200 Okay.
00:08:10.760 So this is a failure, Maggie,
00:08:13.160 what we talked about just on her podcast.
00:08:15.720 We did yesterday, older women.
00:08:18.440 We have failed younger women like her.
00:08:20.840 I'm 41.
00:08:22.200 You just, you're about to turn 21.
00:08:23.880 Yeah.
00:08:24.200 Like we're a 20 year difference.
00:08:25.480 I think it's parents as well, you know,
00:08:25.960 like mothers as well.
00:08:27.800 Mm-hmm.
00:08:28.120 I sometimes feel like mothers in competition with their daughters.
00:08:31.000 Absolutely.
00:08:31.400 Yeah.
00:08:31.960 Yeah.
00:08:32.680 We just talked about,
00:08:33.800 do you feel as though,
00:08:34.920 and I don't want to put your mother on the spot or anything.
00:08:36.760 You can talk in general,
00:08:37.640 but do you find like with your friends or your experience that the moms,
00:08:42.200 they put like a competition.
00:08:43.640 They don't want you to win because they failed.
00:08:46.440 Yeah.
00:08:46.840 Yeah.
00:08:47.160 Definitely.
00:08:47.560 And they, and they will talk you into failure.
00:08:49.880 Right.
00:08:50.360 Don't, don't worry about it.
00:08:51.480 They will console you though.
00:08:52.840 Right.
00:08:53.160 But, but they'll talk you into failure.
00:08:54.840 And then once you fail, they'll be like, oh, it's okay, baby.
00:08:56.840 And like I said, it's for, it's a,
00:08:58.360 if in my personal point of view,
00:08:59.800 it's for competition about men,
00:09:01.400 because the same man that is going for the 21 year old,
00:09:04.280 that will sleep 21 year old,
00:09:05.320 he will sleep with you too, Melanie.
00:09:06.680 Right.
00:09:07.240 And misery,
00:09:08.840 and misery loves company.
00:09:10.520 Yeah.
00:09:10.760 It's like when you, when you fail a test,
00:09:12.360 what, what's the best feeling in the world?
00:09:13.960 When you turn to someone and they're like,
00:09:16.040 I failed too.
00:09:18.040 If you're the only one in the class that failed,
00:09:20.360 or the only one in your circle that failed,
00:09:22.680 I actually noticed it on Tik TOK.
00:09:24.120 Like it would,
00:09:25.640 there is a group of like moms and they did like the mom content and then one
00:09:29.960 gets divorced and the other gets divorced and the other gets to,
00:09:32.680 it's like the whole damn friend group.
00:09:34.120 And it's just like misery really loves company.
00:09:36.760 They don't want to be alone in their bad decisions.
00:09:38.600 Single women keep single women single.
00:09:40.360 Right.
00:09:40.920 Right.
00:09:41.160 If the older women have not kept their own relationship together,
00:09:44.840 then it's really hard to wish that a blessing on someone else.
00:09:49.000 So I think you have to be very selective and find someone that is in a
00:09:52.920 relationship that you actually admire and they're secure in that
00:09:56.040 relationship.
00:09:56.680 I think if you're trying to get advice from older single women,
00:10:00.040 that's where it can really go.
00:10:02.120 But sometimes married women as well,
00:10:03.960 because how many married women do we know wish they could be back in the
00:10:06.600 streets?
00:10:07.000 Right.
00:10:07.240 They're miserable in their marriage.
00:10:09.240 I know so many who are just like,
00:10:11.720 they see the glamor of being flown to Dubai and they don't know they're
00:10:16.120 getting flown.
00:10:16.680 These single ones get flown to Dubai because they're laying down with a camel.
00:10:19.960 They're getting flown and blown.
00:10:21.160 No, no, no.
00:10:21.640 They're flown and blown.
00:10:22.920 That is what is going on.
00:10:24.280 They're actually selling, but we don't,
00:10:26.600 because what happens is younger guys that you may be,
00:10:29.240 what's the oldest guy you've dated?
00:10:31.320 Well, this is my second boyfriend and he's 23.
00:10:36.360 Okay.
00:10:36.600 Yeah.
00:10:36.920 So he's not that much older,
00:10:38.200 but that same 23 year old will try to,
00:10:42.280 will sleep with and go after someone my age.
00:10:45.880 Is he serious?
00:10:47.480 This happens every day, but I say to myself like,
00:10:50.200 so what happens is these older women will feel like, okay,
00:10:54.120 well that little 20 something year old,
00:10:55.720 she can't do nothing for you, boo.
00:10:57.000 Let's come over here and I'm going to do this.
00:10:58.680 I'm going to put it on you.
00:10:59.800 She's not grown.
00:11:00.680 She's immature.
00:11:02.040 This is how these older women are thinking these cougars.
00:11:05.080 And so they see you as competition instead of loving on you and wanting
00:11:08.840 you to win.
00:11:09.400 Or they'll use shaming language,
00:11:11.320 like calling the dude a pedo when it's just like,
00:11:13.800 no, he just likes younger women.
00:11:15.480 Yeah.
00:11:15.720 It's,
00:11:16.600 and,
00:11:16.680 but when they were younger or he's creepy,
00:11:18.840 I don't know a single older woman who,
00:11:21.480 when she was younger,
00:11:22.360 did not date an older guy,
00:11:23.960 but once they get older,
00:11:25.080 it's like,
00:11:25.320 oh,
00:11:25.560 well I was naive.
00:11:26.440 Then I didn't know all this other stuff.
00:11:28.520 So like,
00:11:29.400 yeah,
00:11:29.560 I dated an older guy,
00:11:30.600 but it's,
00:11:31.160 it,
00:11:31.400 it really was abusive.
00:11:32.680 And I'm just thinking to myself,
00:11:34.280 were you really abused dating an older guy?
00:11:36.840 No,
00:11:37.240 you weren't.
00:11:37.720 Financial abuse.
00:11:38.680 You want to give me a credit card.
00:11:40.280 Right.
00:11:40.840 They feel that way.
00:11:42.120 And,
00:11:42.520 and,
00:11:42.760 and that's why I wanted to talk to her because I said,
00:11:44.840 as a younger woman,
00:11:45.720 like,
00:11:46.360 you know,
00:11:47.000 this is our whole conversation,
00:11:49.320 Maggie.
00:11:49.720 We were talking about this yesterday about older women are competing for the same men.
00:11:55.080 They don't realize that the older women think,
00:11:58.040 cause these men will,
00:11:58.840 your boyfriend,
00:12:00.120 I'm not saying he is,
00:12:01.320 but your boyfriend will sleep with a woman who's older.
00:12:03.800 And so they think they're in competition with you and they have to prove this,
00:12:07.160 but they should have been out the game a long time ago.
00:12:09.560 You can see in the TikTok videos,
00:12:11.400 right?
00:12:11.600 When you see like mother and daughters,
00:12:12.920 right?
00:12:13.480 And the mother looks quite young and they're all,
00:12:16.520 they're all dancing together.
00:12:17.480 I'm like,
00:12:17.880 that's your competition right there.
00:12:19.880 And it's like,
00:12:20.360 the mother's trying to keep up with her.
00:12:22.360 Yeah.
00:12:22.600 And,
00:12:22.760 but on the flip side,
00:12:24.200 men like MTR,
00:12:25.320 men like myself,
00:12:26.280 right?
00:12:26.600 We may be older.
00:12:27.640 We're trying to give younger men the game.
00:12:29.000 We're trying to say,
00:12:29.560 look,
00:12:29.800 young guys,
00:12:30.520 this is what you do.
00:12:31.400 This is what you don't do.
00:12:32.360 Right.
00:12:32.840 With this older guys,
00:12:35.160 what I've realized that older guys don't mind giving younger guys a game.
00:12:38.200 They don't mind telling them where they went wrong.
00:12:40.280 I don't mind telling a younger guy where I went wrong.
00:12:42.840 Do you know what I mean?
00:12:43.640 Well,
00:12:44.120 and generally,
00:12:44.920 generally dudes,
00:12:46.760 uh,
00:12:47.160 if you're in competition of another,
00:12:48.440 with another dude,
00:12:49.240 usually it's more brute strength fruit,
00:12:51.000 uh,
00:12:51.640 you know,
00:12:52.040 in competition physically,
00:12:53.320 uh,
00:12:54.040 downright to fighting status,
00:12:57.240 financials,
00:12:58.120 uh,
00:12:58.680 generally women compete,
00:12:59.960 uh,
00:13:00.520 utilizing manipulation,
00:13:01.560 innuendo,
00:13:02.520 uh,
00:13:03.400 reputation destruction,
00:13:04.360 um,
00:13:05.320 not giving you the keys to whatever it is that you're trying to do.
00:13:08.200 Right.
00:13:08.680 Cause women don't generally fight just based off of,
00:13:11.400 right.
00:13:11.720 Like physical power s,
00:13:14.360 but there's other things that they do.
00:13:15.400 Many of you know,
00:13:16.040 I was just banned on Tik Tok,
00:13:18.600 and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:13:23.080 If you want to help,
00:13:24.280 please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:13:27.320 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:13:32.080 Like it's possible.
00:13:33.240 Bye.
00:13:33.680 Bye.
00:13:34.600 Bye.
00:13:35.040 Bye.
00:13:35.600 Bye.
00:13:36.420 Bye.
00:13:37.920 Bye.
00:13:38.840 Bye.
00:13:39.120 Bye.
00:13:40.380 Bye.
00:13:40.960 Bye.
00:13:42.700 Bye.
00:13:43.080 Bye.
00:13:43.420 Bye.
00:13:44.600 Bye.
00:13:44.700 Bye.
00:13:45.420 Bye.
00:13:45.600 Bye.
00:13:46.380 Bye.
00:13:46.620 Bye.
00:13:48.580 Bye.
00:13:59.240 Bye.
00:14:00.240 Bye.