JustPearlyThings - The Downfall Of Modern Women

00:00:00.000 It's nasty.

00:00:00.840 Get away from me.

00:00:01.660 I don't even want guy friends who don't take accountability.

00:00:03.880 Get away from me.

00:00:04.960 But me personally, as a man,

00:00:06.640 who do you go to to talk to about it?

00:00:08.680 Because personally, I don't have anyone.

00:00:10.880 I don't know about the other men, but I know-

00:00:12.680 You don't have mentors?

00:00:14.600 I have people I think of mentors,

00:00:16.440 but not people that I would go to emotionally

00:00:18.160 to talk about my problems.

00:00:19.760 As a man, you sit there and deal with them yourself.

00:00:22.600 But I know all women mates, 1.00

00:00:24.600 and my missus mates and so on,

00:00:26.240 where if they're in trouble,

00:00:28.040 something went wrong, whatever,

00:00:29.040 and I was like, oh my God,

00:00:29.880 and he talked to someone about this.

00:00:30.880 Where's your father?

00:00:31.640 They have five, 10, 15.

00:00:32.840 Oh, my father's alive, he's all right, yeah.

00:00:34.240 Why can't you go to your father?

00:00:36.520 I don't know, we have this-

00:00:37.600 We have this relationship.

00:00:38.440 No, we have a great relationship.

00:00:41.080 He's my role model in some ways,

00:00:43.800 but he has his own problems that I don't wanna-

00:00:47.160 You don't wanna go and bother someone else

00:00:49.200 with your problems.

00:00:50.040 So then it's an issue with you then?

00:00:51.600 No, my number one is my pops.

00:00:53.440 If things are, right, like my pops,

00:00:55.880 you know, he's my example of what to be a man

00:00:59.520 in modern day society today is,

00:01:01.600 especially, you know, being a black man in America.

00:01:04.360 He is my example.

00:01:05.680 And I make sure that big decisions

00:01:07.680 that are within my life,

00:01:09.120 of things that I may not know the answers to,

00:01:11.040 and I consider myself a genuinely,

00:01:13.000 sometimes, most of the times, a wise guy.

00:01:15.360 You know, but for things that, you know,

00:01:16.760 I just can't quite figure out,

00:01:17.960 I make sure that I go to him.

00:01:19.360 Now, I know at the same time,

00:01:20.560 there's a lot of young men out there

00:01:22.200 that don't have that father figure.

00:01:24.200 And actually, I think that's a large degree

00:01:25.720 and a component.

00:01:26.720 That's why channels like mine have blown up,

00:01:28.600 is because there's a lot of young men out there

00:01:30.400 that might've been raised in a single parent household

00:01:32.800 that have questions regarding things

00:01:34.960 that are happening to themselves within their lives

00:01:37.080 that they don't quite have the answer to.

00:01:39.200 So I'm actually surprised to hear

00:01:40.680 that your father is as active as what he is,

00:01:42.440 but you don't go to him.

00:01:43.520 It might be different between England and America,

00:01:47.120 but from over here where I'm from in Southampton,

00:01:49.840 pretty much every guy that I know

00:01:51.880 would say the same as me.

00:01:53.280 So maybe it's a, I don't know, a difference there.

00:01:55.760 Do you think culture, are you saying that culturally,

00:01:57.800 men are taught not to say anything then?

00:02:00.640 Growing up in schools, yeah.

00:02:01.960 I think it was always man up,

00:02:04.000 get on and do this, sort this out.

00:02:06.160 And I think that's the struggle men go through.

00:02:09.040 And men can actually talk about it.

00:02:10.880 That's what it is.

00:02:11.880 What you guys don't understand

00:02:12.880 is that women relate emotionally. 0.96

00:02:15.040 Like we can empathize.

00:02:16.720 And so when a woman goes through something 0.99

00:02:18.640 or she cheats, we feel this, we can,

00:02:21.920 we try to like bring empathy to what's going on with her.

00:02:26.240 Men are, you know, are more logical

00:02:29.120 in their thinking and deductive reasoning.

00:02:31.120 This goes into biology and how men's brains are wired.

00:02:35.320 So logically women will always try to, you know, 1.00

00:02:38.680 there's confirmation bias as well

00:02:40.560 because there are other women. 1.00

00:02:42.120 So like we wouldn't give an excuse to a woman 1.00

00:02:44.360 who sleeps with our husband or our man. 0.51

00:02:47.080 And like, we got a problem with that.

00:02:48.760 But if it's our girlfriend, someone we like,

00:02:50.840 or someone in the sisterhood,

00:02:52.280 there's this kind of like this camaraderie.

00:02:54.200 Men do it as well.

00:02:55.160 Men feel a camaraderie for each other.

00:02:57.000 So, but I will say overall, men are much more,

00:03:00.120 you know, like they're going to,

00:03:02.360 men are made to, to discipline men are made.

00:03:05.160 They're not going to get into the emotions of like,

00:03:07.400 I don't like my father, I don't care what you felt.

00:03:09.880 What did you do?

00:03:11.400 Like, like quit the, quit the crying, quit the tears.

00:03:15.240 I get it.

00:03:16.200 You feel this way, but you have real world consequences.

00:03:19.960 And I think most women are either treated like princesses 1.00

00:03:23.240 by their fathers or they don't have accountability growing up.

00:03:26.360 They don't know what it looks like.

00:03:27.720 And this is why they're offended by it.

00:03:29.480 And if something happens to another woman,

00:03:31.480 we want to be understanding because we automatically,

00:03:34.280 empathy puts us in their shoes.

00:03:36.440 Like we could see how they feel because we may have felt a certain way,

00:03:39.960 even if we've never done that action, but it doesn't excuse it away.

00:03:43.160 They still need to be held accountable.

00:03:45.080 But that's why so many women buck against conversations like this, 1.00

00:03:48.200 because it's like, how dare you say something?

00:03:50.520 It's all these men and men and women cheat at almost the same rate,

00:03:53.800 but yet it's always men, women.

00:03:56.920 Maggie, I wonder, what were you shaking your head at?

00:03:58.840 Uh, yeah.

00:03:59.880 I mean, you said a few things there, Melanie, some I agree with.

00:04:03.080 I think we ended up where we agreed,

00:04:04.760 but I think ultimately men have the burden of duty and honor put on them

00:04:10.760 that women don't. 1.00

00:04:12.280 And so to answer your question as to why a man would be labeled a cheater

00:04:16.120 is because you're supposed to do right.

00:04:18.360 Where a woman is coddled and kind of given the there there, 1.00

00:04:23.000 which I don't agree with.

00:04:24.760 We can still empathize and still call it wrong.

00:04:28.440 For example, back to the other point,

00:04:30.120 if I'm speeding through a traffic light because my son is in an accident,

00:04:33.480 I'm trying to get to the hospital.

00:04:34.760 I go through a red light.

00:04:35.720 It's still wrong.

00:04:37.160 I may explain the reason why, but if I have to pay a ticket for it,

00:04:40.760 I pay a ticket for it where we are.

00:04:42.600 It's like, oh, I understand.

00:04:43.960 Go ahead and, and, you know, go scot-free.

00:04:45.880 So that's what I wanted to say.

00:04:46.920 What are, what do you think of this conversation?

00:04:49.800 I, I think, um, I don't, you know, no, no, no, no.

00:04:54.920 What were you going to say?

00:04:55.640 Can I, can I?

00:04:55.960 Yeah, I was gonna say a bunch of different things,

00:04:57.800 but I, one of the things that you said is kind of the, the empathy of, um,

00:05:02.520 women, um, and why you guys, you know, kind of communicate like that. 1.00

00:05:06.520 And I often think like, you know, I, you know,

00:05:08.520 if I think of like,

00:05:09.080 like the entrance of like a therapist is,

00:05:11.000 I would say a lot more beneficial to most modern women than they are to 1.00

00:05:14.600 modern men, depending upon the type of therapist that you go to.

00:05:17.160 I think men should go to male therapists. 0.95

00:05:19.320 But the thing is,

00:05:19.960 is like the downfall of a lot of modern women today outside of the simps, 1.00

00:05:23.400 the white knights is other modern women that are unwilling to hold them 1.00

00:05:27.800 accountable and they'll get into these echo chamber circles and just

00:05:32.120 kumbaya around the totally incorrect thing.

00:05:35.400 And that's why, right?

00:05:36.440 Like I, I suggest, and you know,

00:05:38.120 Kevin used to do it as well to suggest therapy to a lot of modern women 0.90

00:05:41.080 because they can get a third party arbitrator to understand the situation

00:05:45.240 and be like, do you know what?

00:05:47.080 I hate to be the bearer in the bad news.

00:05:48.680 However, do you know what's wrong?

00:05:50.520 You know, one of the reasons why I do that into competition,

00:05:54.600 women see each other as competition. 1.00

00:05:56.680 Women never give each other's the keys to the game. 1.00

00:05:59.640 Okay.

00:05:59.960 So when older women get older, right, 1.00

00:06:02.440 they never give younger women the game because the older women are actually 1.00

00:06:06.120 vying for the same types of men that the younger women are vying for. 0.99

00:06:09.400 Right.

00:06:09.880 And so you never,

00:06:11.240 ever tell your opponent the key to the game.

00:06:13.640 You can console them.

00:06:14.600 Oh, my baby.

00:06:15.800 You're so bad.

00:06:17.000 That's what you've done. 0.80

00:06:17.880 Oh my God.

00:06:18.600 Amazing.

00:06:19.320 But the same types of men that the older women want is the same types of men 0.99

00:06:22.440 that the younger women want. 1.00

00:06:23.480 So the older women are never going to give you the game because they see you 1.00

00:06:26.600 as competition.

00:06:27.480 Yeah.

00:06:27.880 We talked about that earlier.

00:06:29.320 Pearl and I were talking about that earlier.

00:06:31.080 I want to come back to you, baby, because you aren't,

00:06:33.720 you aren't talking much.

00:06:34.680 Do you feel,

00:06:35.480 do you have older women in your life that hold you accountable? 1.00

00:06:38.120 Um, well,

00:06:39.400 I actually hold myself accountable.

00:06:41.000 No, no, no, no.

00:06:41.720 No one can hold you.

00:06:42.600 You can't hold yourself accountable because we're our own.

00:06:45.080 Like if you don't have outside voice,

00:06:47.000 we just see ourselves how we see ourselves.

00:06:49.240 Accountability comes from someone saying,

00:06:51.320 listen, accountability hurts.

00:06:53.320 We don't hurt ourselves.

00:06:54.360 We don't tell ourselves the things that we need to hear.

00:06:57.240 You're dating a guy, you like him and an older woman say,

00:07:01.080 I see this is going on.

00:07:02.200 I see like this guy is not, you know,

00:07:04.760 that you can trust and notice she's not competing with you.

00:07:07.880 Do you have an older woman in your life? 1.00

00:07:09.560 Yeah, definitely.

00:07:10.520 You know, um, some of my mom's friends,

00:07:13.000 when I was a bit more open with my relationship,

00:07:15.880 they would always like throw things at me.

00:07:17.720 Like, oh, if he does this, oh, he's probably cheating,

00:07:21.400 things like that.

00:07:22.120 And it's just, I could tell, you know,

00:07:24.600 they were in competition and they just didn't want me to be happy.

00:07:27.720 So definitely.

00:07:29.000 Really?

00:07:29.400 Well, so it's like,

00:07:30.200 so they actually tried to put your relationship and your man down.

00:07:32.760 Did you feel like they were trying to,

00:07:34.440 they, they, their negativity or their negative experiences,

00:07:37.320 they were trying to put on you and him?

00:07:39.000 Extremely negative. They would just,

00:07:41.000 it would just always be something.

00:07:42.600 And then now I'm very,

00:07:44.440 very private with my relationship and just private with my life.

00:07:47.560 But like, they've never met him.

00:07:49.240 So it's like, how, how do you have so much to say?

00:07:51.720 So do you have anybody,

00:07:53.880 do you have anybody, a woman,

00:07:55.560 an older woman who says, I love you.

00:07:57.960 The only thing I want is the best for you.

00:07:59.880 They're not in competition.

00:08:01.000 They're not trying to put negativity.

00:08:02.760 They want to hear what you have to say.

00:08:04.040 They want to meet him,

00:08:04.920 love on him and actually get the real thing.

00:08:07.160 Do you have any woman in your life like that that's older?

00:08:09.640 No.

00:08:10.200 Okay.

00:08:10.760 So this is a failure, Maggie,

00:08:13.160 what we talked about just on her podcast.

00:08:15.720 We did yesterday, older women.

00:08:18.440 We have failed younger women like her. 1.00

00:08:20.840 I'm 41.

00:08:22.200 You just, you're about to turn 21.

00:08:23.880 Yeah.

00:08:24.200 Like we're a 20 year difference.

00:08:25.480 I think it's parents as well, you know,

00:08:25.960 like mothers as well.

00:08:27.800 Mm-hmm.

00:08:28.120 I sometimes feel like mothers in competition with their daughters.

00:08:31.000 Absolutely.

00:08:31.400 Yeah.

00:08:31.960 Yeah.

00:08:32.680 We just talked about,

00:08:33.800 do you feel as though,

00:08:34.920 and I don't want to put your mother on the spot or anything.

00:08:36.760 You can talk in general,

00:08:37.640 but do you find like with your friends or your experience that the moms, 0.79

00:08:42.200 they put like a competition.

00:08:43.640 They don't want you to win because they failed.

00:08:46.440 Yeah.

00:08:46.840 Yeah.

00:08:47.160 Definitely.

00:08:47.560 And they, and they will talk you into failure.

00:08:49.880 Right.

00:08:50.360 Don't, don't worry about it.

00:08:51.480 They will console you though.

00:08:52.840 Right.

00:08:53.160 But, but they'll talk you into failure.

00:08:54.840 And then once you fail, they'll be like, oh, it's okay, baby.

00:08:56.840 And like I said, it's for, it's a,

00:08:58.360 if in my personal point of view,

00:08:59.800 it's for competition about men,

00:09:01.400 because the same man that is going for the 21 year old,

00:09:04.280 that will sleep 21 year old, 0.84

00:09:05.320 he will sleep with you too, Melanie.

00:09:06.680 Right.

00:09:07.240 And misery,

00:09:08.840 and misery loves company.

00:09:10.520 Yeah.

00:09:10.760 It's like when you, when you fail a test,

00:09:12.360 what, what's the best feeling in the world?

00:09:13.960 When you turn to someone and they're like,

00:09:16.040 I failed too.

00:09:18.040 If you're the only one in the class that failed,

00:09:20.360 or the only one in your circle that failed,

00:09:22.680 I actually noticed it on Tik TOK.

00:09:24.120 Like it would,

00:09:25.640 there is a group of like moms and they did like the mom content and then one

00:09:29.960 gets divorced and the other gets divorced and the other gets to, 0.99

00:09:32.680 it's like the whole damn friend group. 0.99

00:09:34.120 And it's just like misery really loves company. 1.00

00:09:36.760 They don't want to be alone in their bad decisions.

00:09:38.600 Single women keep single women single. 1.00

00:09:40.360 Right.

00:09:40.920 Right.

00:09:41.160 If the older women have not kept their own relationship together, 0.93

00:09:44.840 then it's really hard to wish that a blessing on someone else.

00:09:49.000 So I think you have to be very selective and find someone that is in a

00:09:52.920 relationship that you actually admire and they're secure in that

00:09:56.040 relationship.

00:09:56.680 I think if you're trying to get advice from older single women,

00:10:00.040 that's where it can really go.

00:10:02.120 But sometimes married women as well, 1.00

00:10:03.960 because how many married women do we know wish they could be back in the 1.00

00:10:06.600 streets?

00:10:07.000 Right. 0.90

00:10:07.240 They're miserable in their marriage.

00:10:09.240 I know so many who are just like,

00:10:11.720 they see the glamor of being flown to Dubai and they don't know they're

00:10:16.120 getting flown.

00:10:16.680 These single ones get flown to Dubai because they're laying down with a camel.

00:10:19.960 They're getting flown and blown.

00:10:21.160 No, no, no.

00:10:21.640 They're flown and blown.

00:10:22.920 That is what is going on.

00:10:24.280 They're actually selling, but we don't,

00:10:26.600 because what happens is younger guys that you may be,

00:10:29.240 what's the oldest guy you've dated?

00:10:31.320 Well, this is my second boyfriend and he's 23.

00:10:36.360 Okay.

00:10:36.600 Yeah.

00:10:36.920 So he's not that much older,

00:10:38.200 but that same 23 year old will try to,

00:10:42.280 will sleep with and go after someone my age.

00:10:45.880 Is he serious?

00:10:47.480 This happens every day, but I say to myself like,

00:10:50.200 so what happens is these older women will feel like, okay, 1.00

00:10:54.120 well that little 20 something year old,

00:10:55.720 she can't do nothing for you, boo. 1.00

00:10:57.000 Let's come over here and I'm going to do this.

00:10:58.680 I'm going to put it on you.

00:10:59.800 She's not grown. 0.91

00:11:00.680 She's immature.

00:11:02.040 This is how these older women are thinking these cougars. 1.00

00:11:05.080 And so they see you as competition instead of loving on you and wanting

00:11:08.840 you to win.

00:11:09.400 Or they'll use shaming language,

00:11:11.320 like calling the dude a pedo when it's just like,

00:11:13.800 no, he just likes younger women. 0.60

00:11:15.480 Yeah.

00:11:15.720 It's,

00:11:16.600 and,

00:11:16.680 but when they were younger or he's creepy,

00:11:18.840 I don't know a single older woman who, 1.00

00:11:21.480 when she was younger,

00:11:22.360 did not date an older guy,

00:11:23.960 but once they get older,

00:11:25.080 it's like,

00:11:25.320 oh,

00:11:25.560 well I was naive.

00:11:26.440 Then I didn't know all this other stuff.

00:11:28.520 So like,

00:11:29.400 yeah,

00:11:29.560 I dated an older guy,

00:11:30.600 but it's,

00:11:31.160 it,

00:11:31.400 it really was abusive.

00:11:32.680 And I'm just thinking to myself,

00:11:34.280 were you really abused dating an older guy?

00:11:36.840 No,

00:11:37.240 you weren't.

00:11:37.720 Financial abuse.

00:11:38.680 You want to give me a credit card.

00:11:40.280 Right.

00:11:40.840 They feel that way.

00:11:42.120 And,

00:11:42.520 and,

00:11:42.760 and that's why I wanted to talk to her because I said,

00:11:44.840 as a younger woman,

00:11:45.720 like,

00:11:46.360 you know,

00:11:47.000 this is our whole conversation,

00:11:49.320 Maggie.

00:11:49.720 We were talking about this yesterday about older women are competing for the same men.

00:11:55.080 They don't realize that the older women think, 1.00

00:11:58.040 cause these men will,

00:11:58.840 your boyfriend,

00:12:00.120 I'm not saying he is,

00:12:01.320 but your boyfriend will sleep with a woman who's older. 1.00

00:12:03.800 And so they think they're in competition with you and they have to prove this,

00:12:07.160 but they should have been out the game a long time ago.

00:12:09.560 You can see in the TikTok videos,

00:12:11.400 right?

00:12:11.600 When you see like mother and daughters,

00:12:12.920 right?

00:12:13.480 And the mother looks quite young and they're all,

00:12:16.520 they're all dancing together.

00:12:17.480 I'm like,

00:12:17.880 that's your competition right there.

00:12:19.880 And it's like,

00:12:20.360 the mother's trying to keep up with her. 0.98

00:12:22.360 Yeah.

00:12:22.600 And,

00:12:22.760 but on the flip side,

00:12:24.200 men like MTR,

00:12:25.320 men like myself,

00:12:26.280 right?

00:12:26.600 We may be older.

00:12:27.640 We're trying to give younger men the game.

00:12:29.000 We're trying to say,

00:12:29.560 look,

00:12:29.800 young guys,

00:12:30.520 this is what you do.

00:12:31.400 This is what you don't do.

00:12:32.360 Right.

00:12:32.840 With this older guys,

00:12:35.160 what I've realized that older guys don't mind giving younger guys a game.

00:12:38.200 They don't mind telling them where they went wrong.

00:12:40.280 I don't mind telling a younger guy where I went wrong.

00:12:42.840 Do you know what I mean?

00:12:43.640 Well,

00:12:44.120 and generally,

00:12:44.920 generally dudes,

00:12:46.760 uh,

00:12:47.160 if you're in competition of another,

00:12:48.440 with another dude,

00:12:49.240 usually it's more brute strength fruit,

00:12:51.000 uh,

00:12:51.640 you know,

00:12:52.040 in competition physically,

00:12:53.320 uh,

00:12:54.040 downright to fighting status,

00:12:57.240 financials,

00:12:58.120 uh,

00:12:58.680 generally women compete, 1.00

00:12:59.960 uh,

00:13:00.520 utilizing manipulation,

00:13:01.560 innuendo,

00:13:02.520 uh,

00:13:03.400 reputation destruction,

00:13:04.360 um,

00:13:05.320 not giving you the keys to whatever it is that you're trying to do.

00:13:08.200 Right.

00:13:08.680 Cause women don't generally fight just based off of, 1.00

00:13:11.400 right.

00:13:11.720 Like physical power s,

00:13:14.360 but there's other things that they do.

00:13:15.400 Many of you know,

00:13:16.040 I was just banned on Tik Tok,

00:13:18.600 and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.

00:13:23.080 If you want to help,

00:13:24.280 please consider sending a super thanks below.

00:13:27.320 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.

00:13:32.080 Like it's possible.

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JustPearlyThings - March 18, 2023

The Downfall Of Modern Women

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript