The Level of Delusion is SICKENING
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the difference between being single and being single for a lifetime. Do you need a partner to be happy, or do you need companionship? Do you want to be in a long term relationship, or are you looking for a companion to share your life with?
Transcript
00:00:00.940
One of my single friends say, if I don't find the right guy, I'll just, when I'm old and I'm fragile,
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I'll get all my single girlfriends and we live in the same house and we live happily together.
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Like, you know, because at that time you need help.
00:00:30.600
Like, what does life at 60 look like without a man?
00:00:33.180
So today we are going to talk about being married versus being single for a lifetime.
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So my first question is, do you think that women can be happy for a lifetime single?
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To be honest, I think it depends on how you have a relationship whilst you're single.
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Are you single and still seeking a companionship?
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And I feel like if you're solely by yourself, I don't think you can actually 100% be happy on your own.
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I don't think you have to be married to be happy in particular, but I do feel like you would need some kind of companionship, whether that's a long lasting one or one that lasts two or three years.
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But I feel like everyone seeks to have that kind of someone that they can share part of their life with.
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I think the main mission of women is to be in love.
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And when you're not in love, you will never be happy.
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You can have a career, you can be in Forbes, you can have millions, but when you're not in love, you have one gap inside you and you will be very looking for this because we're born to be in love.
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It's our main mission, even not to be a mother, to be in love.
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So I feel that no one wants to be lonely, really.
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And I think even if you have everything in life materialistic ways, you want to share it with someone, whether it's family, a companion.
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And so, yeah, whether it's a husband or your life partner, definitely something that adds value to life because we want to share our happiness.
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For me, there is millions answer for this question because there is millions factors that indicate and bring happiness.
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And has a different definition for being single.
00:02:51.280
But if the single, your question means not being in a relationship with someone, and which sort of relationship, marriage, being a partner, friendship?
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So, yeah, so when I say single, I say not in a long-term relationship or married.
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I know some people do like the seven, eight-year relationships.
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I think that's a little different, but single for a lifetime or constantly between relationships.
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There is no rules that anyone must marry to be happy.
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And many people are not single and are in a relationship and happy.
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Yeah, I think it's possible, but very unlikely.
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Yeah, like, I don't think women in general, and I think you can see that because women get on antidepressants when we're old and single over the age of 45.
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That's, like, the most women you see on antidepressants.
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But for me as a healthcare professional, I met many people, many patients, many clients that are single.
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And they're happy, but what is the definition of happy?
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Defined as how, if a scale of one to ten, how much you're happy.
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You know, if you say happy, it's just very vague for me.
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Yeah, I think women can be happy single till their looks fade.
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I think that's typically when the happiness goes, in my opinion.
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And you've seen women that stayed single, right?
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Do you think women can stay single and happy for a lifetime?
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I would say for a man or a woman, I mean, happiness comes from within, but I think it is.
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I think when you get older, you start seeing your parents pass away, your grandparents pass
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I know when I got sick, my wife helped me when I was bleeding, sick.
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And when I got out of the hospital, my daughter was there and my wife was there.
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I couldn't imagine someone going through something where they get sick and they don't have a wife
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So I would say you might feel happy when you're single and alone, but what are you going to
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do when your wife, you know, your boys, your girls, they got married, they get married, they
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get family, and they got kids, and, you know, they move on.
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Once your friends start getting married and having kids, you're going to start seeing a
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Literally, following on from what this gentleman is saying, I agree.
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And taking points of what everyone has said, it's like, what is happiness first and foremost?
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And yes, we're, you know, centering this conversation around women, but I think it applies equally
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A man, and you were saying, as their looks fades, beauty, it doesn't mean one thing for
00:06:09.280
Our beauty and our looks fade over time equally.
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But if you look at, even if they've done studies on facial elasticity, so it's how
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much men's, like, the wrinkles in your skin come, women versus men.
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However, I stand on the point that I'm saying that, you know, taking away the point you're
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making about beauty, even if you're not married and you choose to be a single person in terms
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Even if you tick the box and you're cohabiting or, you know, you have a partner.
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Everybody wants to know that they are cared for by somebody, that they are loved by somebody,
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that somebody is going to take care of them in their time of need.
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Even if men are alone, you can earn all the money that you want.
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You can buy all the big houses, but you're going to buy a big house and live in it alone.
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You can buy the big, fast cars and drive them alone.
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And I kind of go, I go both sides because sometimes I think of Hugh Hefner.
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I've seen Hugh Hefner on a Wednesday night at Concord.
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And I remember seeing Hugh Hefner with like on a Tuesday night, like five women.
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I don't know if he was deep down happy or not, but he seemed like he was having a good time.
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Well, because it's like we have this idea that like men are, if they don't get married and have kids,
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And I just don't see it the same for men and for women.
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I think women get much more lonely the older they get.
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Because I feel like men, when they lose their spouses, they tend to actually become more
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depressant, entering the depression, actually women losing their spouses.
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I don't think that's the same though, because that's like the loss of a partner.
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Oh, so your question is if a woman never gets a partner.
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I think my point is, it depends on the community she has and the other relationships she has.
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There is this thing about, but there are so many women who are married and not happy as
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Like, you know, so when we say about single woman being happy, my question then arises is,
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Like I'm from a very big family and I, I tell you from friends to my neighbors, to everybody,
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I am much happier right now than I've ever been.
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And if you ask me, would I rather be with the person with him?
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I'm miserable or not because, you know, it also about compatibility and stuff like that.
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But as a single woman right now, I feel like it's about compatibility with the men as well,
00:09:07.220
because obviously a man or the other person can't make, keep you happy all the time either.
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So when we are talking about our happiness, then it comes from within.
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So if it comes from within, I think the only thing I would say then the odd is, okay,
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that physical connection with somebody you can hug and say, this is the person, it's mine.
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But anything else, you know, if you want to go for a cup of coffee, a man probably doesn't,
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So I was just saying, you can go by yourself and have that coffee.
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Do you translate that as single yourself, although you are still in a relationship with someone?
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So my point is, a woman can stay single and happy.
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It's just how you're interpreting it in the sense of, like, a woman cannot stay single.
00:10:00.940
If she has really good relationships around her, her girlfriends could be her closest friends.
00:10:06.460
Like one of my single friends say, if I don't find the right guy, I'll just, when I'm old and I'm fragile,
00:10:13.480
I'll get all my single girlfriends and we'll live in the same house and we'll live happily together.
00:10:18.500
Like, you know, because at that time you need help.
00:10:36.220
Like, what does life at 60 look like without a man?
00:10:38.400
I'm basically, I disagree with this statement that men brings happiness.
00:10:46.380
It's a very old and classic statement and phrases that they said, happiness should come through the within of you.
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You find happiness, definition of happiness in your life.
00:11:02.300
And if there is a gentleman wants to come to your life, they will add something to that.
00:11:12.280
Well, my point is I don't think women typically are happy over a certain age with no man or kids.
00:11:18.180
I think women get happiness from relationships.
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And when women don't have relationships, I just don't, I don't think that they're happy.
00:11:23.740
When people are in a relationship and are unhappy, I don't see any, you know, scientific logic behind this sentence that we need a man at a certain age.
00:11:34.220
Well, I'll say, like, what I would say to indicate that is that women are in antidepressants at a higher rate when they don't get married and they don't have children.
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Like, that is the single most, like, most medicated group.
00:11:49.280
They want to be, why should everyone be a mother?
00:11:53.780
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not saying every person has to be a mother, but the majority of women wanted kids.
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So the majority of women that don't have kids, like, initially wanted kids.
00:12:05.060
I, you know, in science or in my part, you have to bring the numbers and you have to bring them, you know, you have to bring some, a very strong logic.
00:12:20.920
Well, they surveyed, they surveyed, they surveyed, they surveyed a couple thousand women.
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I can't remember the exact institution, but it was a college in the U.S.
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They surveyed, I think, 3000 to 5000 women asking if they wanted, that were single and did not have kids, asking if they wanted kids.
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And I want to say it was 80, 85, I can't, off the top of my head, 85, so yes.
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In many countries, the rate of, you know, having a child is, goes negative, you know, so they are not happy.
00:12:48.740
Well, I do, I do think, I do think it has short-term happiness.
00:12:53.840
I think there's, what does it mean, short-term happiness?
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Short-term happiness, that means they're happy now, but they're not happy in the long term.
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Because, again, life, life looks really different at, at 60 than it does at 25, at 35.
00:13:06.560
Pearl, I actually think that most women don't really know what happy is.
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But I actually read a statistic that showed that women are the happiest when they're given a blowjob.
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So, predominantly, I think we have middle-aged women here, all may be married, divorced,
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we're in that situation where I think most of us are divorced at the moment.
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And I think we're kidding ourselves when we're saying we're going to be happy without a man
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So, if any, like, most, I think, have said, yes, they can.
00:14:03.000
Because when they're single, they're still looking.
00:14:07.060
And, you know, you're like, you said you were 43 and you're happy and you're single
00:14:16.280
But you will age, you will get older, comes health and, you know, you will need a partner.
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But who guaranteed it, that partner will be there when I needed him, you know, in terms of that happiness?
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Because I feel like one man cannot provide you with everything.
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If you have a community of people, if you have lots of amazing relationships.
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I'm not saying, see, there are other needs that a man can fulfill for a woman.
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But happiness is not the grounding for, oh, I need to have a man because he's going to make me happy.
00:15:00.000
You have to learn to love yourself, make yourself happy.
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But God made a man because you cannot fulfill that gap.
00:15:12.460
I personally think, my personal experience, after being in a marriage for 18 years, I always see men as like a security for me.
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Coming from an Asian background, it's always just like he's my back.
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That's something I can say, yes, a man can provide for life.
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And when I become single, I'm exposed to all these men because I'm single now.
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So I've learned, I've learned for men to approach me and I've done so much self-work and growth.
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If a man approaches me, like, no, I'm not available.
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You need to work on your self-love and you need to, your self-control.
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So if somebody comes to you and wants you, no, I'm in a relationship.
00:15:58.540
You can say that, but what I'm saying is once you're married, you just have that, okay, that's my protection there.
00:16:08.400
Like, you know, so for me, that urge of, okay, having that protection or leaning on someone when you're finding, like, as a single mom challenges around kids and stuff, who can I lean on?
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I just, you know what I wonder, cause like, then who, if you don't get married, who takes care of you?
00:16:31.480
Well, no, but I'm saying at some point you're going to have health, everyone does.
00:16:37.400
There's a difference between a woman choosing to be single, because I feel that...
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It's not when, like, there's a whole group of men that have no choice because no women want them.
00:17:10.960
All right, now, in modern times, what starts relationships?
00:17:16.740
There's always someone willing to sleep with a woman.
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There's always someone willing to date a woman.
00:17:22.600
There's not always someone willing to date a man, right?
00:17:29.260
Okay, let me tell you why that is true and also not true.
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A woman does have control of the sex part in terms of, like, introducing sex.
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But once the sex relationship is established, the power dynamics completely change.
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Some of you guys are a bit older, but in modern times, in modern times, in most relationships
00:18:00.600
Dating apps are the number one way people are meeting under the age of 30.
00:18:05.640
Because we can't speak from a personal experience because we have to speak.
00:18:14.020
But we can't ignore the fact that the power dynamics do change with men in terms of they
00:18:18.640
take leadership of where the relationship will go.
00:18:21.480
Most women actually wait on a man to define the relationship, whether where we are, where
00:18:32.320
So, you either pick a marriage-minded guy or you don't.
00:18:37.320
But what I'm saying in terms of, like, waiting until you're 60, you could, for example, I
00:18:41.260
was in a relationship for 13 years, was married, but I got married quite young.
00:18:49.100
And then in my late 20s, I was my first partner from the time I was 16 years old.
00:18:54.760
So, I start actually dating dating at the age of 28, right?
00:18:59.980
Now, I've only been, let's say, single roughly around six years.
00:19:05.260
So, now I'm now looking for a relationship because I love love.
00:19:15.280
But I can find a partner and we may be married for, like, 20 years.
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I'm not saying I'm not putting that into the atmosphere.
00:19:25.520
But let's say we may be married for 20 years and anything can happen.
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People lose, you know, I lost my close friend, my best friend in January and her partner now
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And he's only in his, they're both in the mid-30s.
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And it could be life, we're not the same people as we are 10 years ago.
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I don't think it matters if you're the same people.
00:19:53.180
But what I'm trying to say is, so now you're 55, for whatever reason now, the separation,
00:20:01.220
I don't think that you take away your experience that you've had for the past 20 years.
00:20:08.420
It's just like many people, like our grandparents, a lot of them lose their partners, but they
00:20:12.860
still are, you know, yeah, they become lonely, but sometimes it's not all about choices.
00:20:19.140
Sometimes things in life happen as humans, we're human individually.
00:20:22.840
Well, no, but I would say the majority of single women, it's a choice.
00:20:45.260
So, both men, so I have a role in my marriage and the man has a role in his marriage.
00:20:50.360
So, what if the man is not fulfilling those marriages?
00:20:53.160
But then it's like, it's so hypocritical because it's like, well, women are supposed to be virgins on their wedding night.
00:21:01.540
But yet, we expect perfection from our husbands.
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We're talking about standard expectations within a marriage.
00:21:16.060
So, if that man, for example, because you said people change, people, I mean, the matter of changing doesn't exist.
00:21:27.720
I said, I implied it was a silly reason for divorce.
00:21:31.280
The reason why I say that, for example, I met my partner at 16 years old.
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When you meet someone at 16, we're both kids, what you're looking for a partner when you're 16 is completely different when you become an adult.
00:21:44.940
You know, who now knows in a way what they want because they become, they come into their own adult or they, you know, who they are as a person.
00:21:53.060
So, in that time, as we're growing up, when we became adults, we got to a point where we both knew in a way, because I think someone mentioned about compatibility, right?
00:22:03.740
There is more to marriage and relationships than love.
00:22:09.220
We both didn't understand what constituted marriage, maybe because of our age at the time.
00:22:13.640
We didn't have, we weren't equipped with the right mindset when we got into the situation because it's not just, oh, I love you.
00:22:22.760
So, what I'm saying to you is if you, if two people that are not compatible end up in the marriage, there are things that are going to happen eventually that's going to bring up issues.
00:22:31.780
It's either resentment towards each other because one person is expecting that person to mirror the other person that's going, and that goes vice versa between male and women.
00:22:38.360
What is the, can I have a specific example of what this means?
00:22:41.320
Because I, it's just, this is very broad, so I need, I need to.
00:22:43.940
So, for example, a man, for example, you're in a relationship and let's say you start earning more than your partner because we're growing slightly more than your partner.
00:22:53.840
You know, you both grow halves on each other, but for some reason that man feels less than a man because he's earning less than you.
00:23:03.520
Now, this is nothing really that I can actually do because that's an individual thing for a person to do.
00:23:09.960
Well, I would ask why he feels that way because a lot of times what women do is they throw it in the guy's face and they constantly bring it.
00:23:23.300
I'm not, but I'm not talking about, a lot of women do, but I think sometimes as well, we have to be very balanced in terms of sometimes we push this narrative that women, there's a hundred percent toxic women that you're speaking of, but we're not talking in this context.
00:23:37.740
So there are, there are sometimes that men within themselves feel that they haven't found themselves, which is in a way in our twenties, we're still finding ourselves and then they may feel inferior because they might be earning less.
00:23:48.900
I've never heard a guy talk about finding himself.
00:23:51.240
That's like, that's like, that's like a, that's like a, I've heard guys talk about maturing, but I've, I've.
00:24:02.720
Typically when men talk about finding themselves is because they've heard it a lot from women and they know that that is a language that works with women.
00:24:08.620
So most of the time they're just lying to you because they want to get something from you.
00:24:14.580
When you're talking about, um, they've heard it from women.
00:24:16.660
Sometimes it's not, it could be a very, it could be various circumstances that come about that a man has to find himself.
00:24:22.620
It could be, yes, he's come out of a relationship.
00:24:24.420
It could be, he's trying to find the right career path to go down.
00:24:27.380
It could be, it could be, it could be a religious, from a religious perspective, he needs to look within himself to, to, you know, become this greater being.
00:24:34.880
It's not just, and we're putting a lot of things, oh, it's the woman, it's the woman, and not a woman throwing something in the mouth.
00:24:39.800
The reason we say it's the woman, because the data indicates that it is.
00:24:45.980
So the data, the data talks about who files for a divorce.
00:24:54.180
For example, you, what I'm saying to you is, you said statistics, statistics might be fact, in the Western world, because that's what the stick, but I don't know.
00:25:04.260
But there is no context as to the reasons why, because I'll tell you something, why I, why I'm saying this, a woman will stick more in a relationship, a toxic relationship, an abusive relationship, for many, many, many, many, many, many more years than a man would.
00:25:27.100
How do you, how do you, how do you get into a relationship with someone if you don't pick them?
00:25:40.100
This is an excuse that women use, this is an excuse that women use to justify picking poorly.
00:25:46.100
90% of the time when women are in toxic relationships, it's because they didn't get their father's advice, their brother's advice, or their friend's advice.
00:25:54.100
Half the time, everybody is warning them, telling them not to date them, and they do anything.
00:25:59.100
Yeah, you are, Perra, are you the same person you were ten years ago?
00:26:03.100
I would say I have very similar traits than I did ten years ago.
00:26:06.100
Can I, can I say, can I, I, I, I, I think, no one is ten years the same.
00:26:11.100
And, and, and, and, and I, I, and I just think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think this stuff matters.
00:26:17.100
Because nobody, when you take vows, it's for better or for worse, and sickness, and it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not for when, for when we grow apart, no.
00:26:26.100
I'm not a man obviously but I think a man will leave if he's not if it's not 100% there and he
00:26:33.220
doesn't want to be with you he will leave he would cheat he would disrespect you he will not call you
00:26:37.800
he will not return those messages he's left he's not interested you're holding on to something
00:26:42.440
you're you're almost like begging to be with somebody you're trying to make this work a woman
00:26:47.220
will do that but a man has already left and but the men don't leave the majority of the time
00:26:52.520
when they're cheating when they're speaking to somebody else but again it's only it's only
00:26:59.680
it's only a small percentage of men that can cheat it's a very small percentage of men that actually
00:27:04.720
can I can I add dynamic I want to know where these facts are coming from to be honest
00:27:09.300
to be honest it also takes it also takes courage and good that you're saying that a lot of women
00:27:17.340
are the one who leaves it takes courage to leave a relationship no I disagree it does
00:27:24.500
especially in a society that sees you know it takes courage to do the easy thing no
00:27:30.660
what's the easy thing the easy thing is to leave
00:27:34.620
why why is that easy it's hard it's hard it's hard it's hard it's hard to stick it out oh my god
00:27:44.780
it's not easy it's hard no no no no no let's answer the question
00:27:49.180
this is the this is the crazy thing this is the crazy thing
00:27:55.780
the thing is what I want to say is because you're making it personal when it's not personal
00:28:01.560
no no no no let me have a general conversation with you because I asked Pearl I'm having a really
00:28:07.920
normal constructive um conversation with you I shared my experience within my marriage and I said
00:28:12.680
to you I got with someone that was 16 we were both young yeah and I think at 16 like I said your your
00:28:18.440
your views and relationship in terms of what you want is very different when you're thinking
00:28:21.720
I understand your point of view that if a woman at a certain age when they're adults now should
00:28:28.960
make now healthier choices and better decisions so when they do make those choices as adults they
00:28:35.360
should make you know healthier and better decisions so when they are in the marriage that
00:28:39.940
that marriage actually is a healthy marriage I understand that point of view but when I'm giving you
00:28:44.660
examples I'm saying that there's a lot of context behind your so-called statistics that you get
00:28:48.680
from wherever you get but when I ask you are you married it's not a dig at you it's because you
00:28:54.220
can only speak of what like our knowledge and our experience our knowledge is only can I just finish
00:29:00.740
sorry I don't think I don't think I don't think the person I don't think I don't think the person
00:29:04.420
say I don't think the person I don't think that the person saying something matters is it true or is
00:29:10.960
it not true is it harder to stick something out or to leave like you can only know it makes no sense
00:29:18.680
unless you've been in someone's shoes what's the question you want to ask if she was married so if
00:29:23.620
she if she's been married if she's been married what's the thing is it's the experience so she's
00:29:28.320
married that she would understand and I want to say wear her perspective because usually women
00:29:32.300
do you know why do you know why because women usually that haven't been married are usually the
00:29:36.740
women that come at women that have been married it's usually the case so no let me say something
00:29:41.860
to you no happily married people no ever my point is my point is my point is my point is if you say
00:29:50.900
have you been married it makes complete sense okay can you change your question then let me just make
00:29:56.040
my point is if you ask her have you been married and you don't follow it up with a question I just did
00:30:01.600
you know what was the question she didn't even answer no no so I don't know what she answered
00:30:06.360
everything she needs to answer the question it doesn't matter you've never let me say what I
00:30:09.520
want to say okay go on speak you've asked her have you been married I did which isn't really
00:30:14.580
necessarily relevant in your opinion are you gonna let me speak you've asked her have you been
00:30:21.180
married which is not necessarily relevant to what we're talking about because some of us are married
00:30:26.460
so we're talking about marriage we're talking about marriage you guys stop stop stop stop stop
00:30:33.220
stop over talking my producer I'm just trying to get a point across you're not even letting me speak
00:30:37.220
my point is we were yes the general topic is about marriage but we were on a particular trajectory
00:30:43.420
within the discussion and then you brought up have you been married to this to derail that
00:30:48.140
conversation because if you're asking if she's been married what is the relevance of that to what
00:30:52.940
we're talking about in this very second so you'd have to ask that then follow it up with a relevant
00:30:57.740
question or then it's a dig no answer sorry go on and I say this respectfully women are meant
00:31:05.420
to be quiet docile and submissive in almost every case when you see a woman is the opposite of that
00:31:14.240
it's a for example for example what's your name in the white in the white top right it's a put-off
00:31:20.260
a man doesn't want a woman like that go ahead no it's just it's just an observation and to the
00:31:26.900
earlier point about you know the question that you said earlier I was actually once driving my date home
00:31:34.180
and she said to me I don't need a man I said are you sure she said yeah I said so get the fuck out the
00:31:42.900
car and hitchhiked turned out she got kidnapped and that's a great example of why women need men
00:31:52.440
excuse me I just wants to add something in my opinion the woman coming to the relationship
00:32:01.760
with many reasons either I'm finding it really hard to keep a straight face I'm sorry I'm finding this
00:32:10.480
so hilarious either they want to fill the gap in their life because they feel they are not enough
00:32:18.680
at themselves are they either they want to add something to their life they think I'm good I'm
00:32:25.800
in a good point I know myself I work on myself I'm fulfilled you know I don't need someone else to give
00:32:33.200
me that positive energy you know bring something to me but I want I would love to someone come to my life
00:32:39.400
as a man and add something like when the child coming add something and a good friends coming
00:32:44.820
add something and you have a good brother and sister they add something to our life
00:32:48.820
and the same the men and women can go out of their relationship for many reasons
00:32:56.580
it can be because they are not compatible because there is first of the time you know when they meet
00:33:02.500
each other or with each other there's a loss of hormone engage and when the hormones suppressed
00:33:07.560
during the time they said oh she's not thinking like me he's not behaving the way I want you know
00:33:13.920
we are two different personalities doesn't mean if we are good or bad we are just different
00:33:18.560
or negative things they are cheating um they are you know at the really to the point that's you know
00:33:28.020
we don't want each other we don't like each other anymore yeah but I yeah I understand that that
00:33:32.800
happens but I just don't think it's a good reason when you have kids what do you mean because kids
00:33:37.300
are more likely to go to prison they're more likely to drop out of school they're more likely
00:33:40.420
to be abused by a step parent because when we talk about growing apart it's like you're going to
00:33:45.580
divorce over growing apart when you have a kid because it's not supposed to be about you it's
00:33:49.720
supposed to be about the kid oh my god I'll give you my if I give you my example my son is at
00:33:55.180
university at warwick university I left my husband I'm not I'm not talking about you though
00:33:59.800
like this is like a lot of times people take this stuff personally what I'm saying is um in fact
00:34:05.820
both my kids said to me and that's a feedback given to a parent by the children is mom I cannot
00:34:12.480
believe you stayed in that relationship for so long we are so happy you did that they even try to
00:34:17.460
approach their dad on camera but what I'm saying is um there is a perspective towards it but can I
00:34:24.620
interrupt I have to interrupt because I have two children I've I've seen witnessed everything I know
00:34:29.240
the world I know everyone for a child not having a personal dig at anyone hypothetically speaking
00:34:35.200
for a child I'm a mom of two for a child to come to a parent and say mom I can't believe you stayed
00:34:42.740
with dad it's like what have you said to that child for that child to say that to you it should not have
00:34:48.840
witnessed it should love his mom and dad equally it that's what you call narcissistic toxic abuse
00:34:55.400
feeding it to the children at its highest level it depends what the child are older children are
00:35:00.880
human beings they are observant as well 20 and as a good mother as a good I'm sorry don't raise my
00:35:06.140
voice I have a microphone but as a good mother you tell that child it's your father have a good
00:35:10.960
relation healthy relationship with that father and even if it's toxic hang on hang on even if it's
00:35:15.680
she hasn't finished her point I haven't finished my point let me finish my point I tell my children
00:35:20.440
whenever your father is ready go and meet him it's not personal I was hypothetically speaking I know but
00:35:26.600
what you are trying to say is I have always put positive projection towards your dad I said he give
00:35:32.560
you birth he has done his job after that there is no responsibility of him to you know what do you
00:35:37.820
what do you mean that's not positive projection that he no I mean I mean like positive projection of this
00:35:43.120
he's an honorable man he's a good man he gave birth to you no no I mean when they feel the need of
00:35:50.660
uh he's not financially there he's not physically he doesn't have to be financially there why does the
00:35:55.500
kid know if he's not financially there why does he not have to be there but why does a man have to be
00:36:01.480
the financial financier why does he have to he doesn't have to but what I'm saying is children did
00:36:08.080
you marry someone parents responsibility no no it's it's both parents responsibility but what I'm
00:36:13.740
saying is during COVID time my son decided to approach his dad his dad was so bitter that he
00:36:20.780
got he came back to me and I said what happened like you know go and talk to him why was the dad
00:36:26.540
bitter he was just bitter and angry but why with me why for leaving him okay so he was angry that you
00:36:33.680
left him yeah isn't that a valid reason to be angry yeah I had it absolutely it will it should
00:36:39.180
be a valid reason for him to angry but what I'm saying is staying in a relationship where you are
00:36:44.680
miserable and making he is miserable as well is not healthy for him but I think this is the problem
00:36:50.540
this is such a modern this is such a modern mindset it's like marriage isn't supposed to be about
00:36:55.700
your happiness your happiness is going to come and go like and you shouldn't rely on another person
00:37:00.400
to make you happy if you don't have no communication with somebody my marriage was an arranged marriage
00:37:05.640
I never spoke to the guy on another wedding night I I never I only met him once before I got married
00:37:12.540
to him so 18 years living with somebody who doesn't speak to you and you're just living in a house and
00:37:17.520
sleeping together he never talked to you ever no it's literally just about no I mean like you guys
00:37:22.520
never had conversations like this isn't 18 years exactly you can live with somebody for but I think
00:37:28.380
but I think a lot of times as women like we put our expectations on men but can I say men don't
00:37:33.680
communicate but men but like wait wait but when men don't communicate the same way we do like men just
00:37:38.700
want to sit like they don't want to talk to us he was from a different place I was born I was born
00:37:43.900
around six brothers in Pakistan so my my my context about men was very different to his context of a woman
00:37:53.780
a modern woman from England right so it was but we never communicated with each other for 18 years
00:38:00.080
now what I know if I've known that 18 years ago that relationship would have stayed for life
00:38:04.980
but what I'm I'm sorry to cut you off this is just getting a bit out of control I agree viewers
00:38:09.720
this is what happens when it's only ladies having a conversation in a room
00:38:14.700
so please everybody please everybody just let's ladies let's just try to have a coherent conversation
00:38:21.720
I think it's very sexist to talk like this it's not like that they are telling their experiences
00:38:27.660
I was no I was actually going to say excuse me excuse me the lady are here I know many of them
00:38:34.500
you don't know their background you were not being their situation and you were not you don't know
00:38:40.840
anything he's just observing he's just observing he's just episodes
00:38:46.400
stop you're sorry no no no no no no no no no could not stop me like this
00:38:53.720
can you can you mute her mic no you don't get to just no no then build your own show go build
00:38:59.100
your own show it's like entitlement you're not entitled like this is such entitlement
00:39:04.600
no no wait wait wait wait wait actually I forgot what I was gonna say
00:39:10.280
sorry did you want to finish your point I mean I mean after listening to all of
00:39:14.480
this I know this might sound crazy I saw a tweet you did once where you said
00:39:22.280
women shouldn't be permitted to vote yes yes take it away repeal the 19th yeah
00:39:30.280
yes I saw it you know and I could see how you would think that you know I could
00:39:37.940
see how you think but I've actually spoken with some women oh yeah oh yeah
00:39:43.340
get rid of it no but but really I I realize this might sound crazy but the
00:39:48.080
tweet you said women it should be illegal for them to vote and I can I can see how
00:39:53.300
you would think that but I've actually had some conversations personal ones
00:39:59.000
with women and I now firmly believe that not all women are complete morons
00:40:07.880
that's actually alpha king rule number 202 some women can actually be pretty smart
00:40:18.020
sometimes and including yourself pearl thank you well you are married so I am I
00:40:24.020
assume your wife is a wonderful woman she's a she's she's my pride of joy
00:40:28.280
exactly so there you go so you there are women pearl pearls pearls are a great
00:40:32.780
example of a unique oh unique okay yeah well she's successful entrepreneurs
00:40:39.560
you organized everything here the iron irony one last thing here one last thing the
00:40:45.960
irony here would be that someone like pearl would be viewed as someone like a far
00:40:52.560
right maybe but in reality if you look at all her staff she embraces uh quite a bit
00:40:57.960
of diversity in her staffing so you know for example she she's created jobs in this
00:41:03.140
neighborhood she and she's an employer she put aside capital she saved capital she
00:41:07.860
built the equipment she took the office space she built a couple studios right she's
00:41:12.840
not counting on a man to take care of her she's doing everything same as me
00:41:17.120
so can I say something on that point what pearl is doing right now on this so you gotta respect
00:41:21.220
there is some respect no I don't I don't take nothing away from pearl we have been
00:41:24.860
different we have different opinions so it's nothing towards pearl as a human
00:41:29.100
being and what she does we have difference of opinion she doesn't have to
00:41:32.040
respect my opinion I don't have to respect her opinion or agree let's say
00:41:35.000
so because just like she said she wants to take voting away wherever you said
00:41:39.020
I'd completely take you know I mean so for me I find us the biggest bullshit
00:41:42.960
because only reason why I say that okay is for example I'm not going to mention a
00:41:47.020
name because we're not allowed but during the period that we went that we've just
00:41:50.500
passed what countries had the best rates all right or the lowest the management in
00:41:59.420
terms of management were led by whom were led by who not men oh and oh you know
00:42:05.020
you know wait wait this would actually prove my point because all of all of the
00:42:09.740
countries that followed that stuff right you're talking about yeah yeah do you
00:42:16.740
know who pushed that women yeah women yes but who could be the the the thing was
00:42:23.000
well that was an L I'm not even gonna lie it's very funny how it's very funny how
00:42:29.060
when we talk about leadership and countries that are led by women yes the
00:42:33.500
the president might be a woman but does that mean that it is the president that is
00:42:37.820
running the country you might be right might be wrong so what you're saying is
00:42:45.180
not facts neither no but but then you can you can make an analogy but it says that
00:42:49.460
if you were to look throughout all of human history whenever you see a woman at
00:42:53.500
the top of anything there's usually a team of men usually very competent men