JustPearlyThings - The Man EVERY Woman WANTS

00:00:00.000 but being real it's not is it really a like to think of a guy in that manner that is that's not

00:00:05.480 really a sexy is it no do you know what i mean like there's a time and a place it depends where

00:00:10.240 you're at if that's your partner that's your person you've been together for a long amount of

00:00:14.280 time then his problem is your problem but if you meet you on day one and you're telling me about

00:00:18.620 your emotional self i don't want to hear it and that's happened to me before and i was put off

00:00:22.580 and i didn't want to speak to him i'm so sorry yeah yeah you can't tell me on day one what's

00:00:26.660 going on emotionally because i'm not even telling you and i'm the woman yeah sorry definitely

00:00:32.140 see i feel like this is why guys don't want to open up

00:00:37.940 no but that's different when she said on the first day why would you be so comfortable to open up

00:00:45.820 someone but the point is every girl is different yeah right so every girl is different with what 1.00

00:00:49.840 what they'll tolerate so why are they going to play like roll the dice when they could just not deal

00:00:54.000 with it i think it's i think again the balance of probabilities if you had 10 men 10 men and 10

00:00:59.600 women lined up i mean it seems to me that women like they want the guy to be the leader they want

00:01:03.320 the guy to be emotionally strong they want the guy to be the rock basically not the rock as in the rock

00:01:07.620 but they want the guy to be their rock and and if the dude is i mean obviously he's not gonna be

00:01:11.480 crying every night but you know if the dude is like emoting the whole time and he's looking to her

00:01:15.380 for support excessively that's gonna it just seems to me it's gonna put her off do you know what i mean

00:01:20.220 yeah there is a school of thought in the sort of men's online self-help space that basically says

00:01:26.120 you know you should not be vulnerable in front of the woman that you're with because she's gonna

00:01:28.840 lose attraction for you and if she loses attraction for you then that's the that's you know it's game 1.00

00:01:33.980 over there basically yeah she's got the ick sorry exactly exactly yeah yeah yeah i think that's too

00:01:38.980 extreme though because it's like yeah it it may well be but i'm just saying that that that's everyone is

00:01:45.140 vulnerable including men so if you need a bit of hard time it's like i wouldn't like to oh yeah

00:01:50.500 don't come to me just go and fix your stuff and then come to me i think i think i think some guys

00:01:55.380 though i've never been married so i can't speak to this personally but i think some guys you know you

00:01:59.280 feel like you meet this you meet the woman and you guys are in a relationship it's all great and you

00:02:03.080 think oh now i can now finally i can relax now i can now i've got somebody who i can talk to and she

00:02:08.640 can help me with my feelings and blah blah blah but the problem is when you then do that that can

00:02:13.200 sometimes give the woman the ick you know and the woman's like oh wait a minute this isn't the 1.00

00:02:17.420 strong you know stable oak that i signed up for and then you're and then you're in trouble so

00:02:21.740 but i i agree it's a sliding scale not everyone's the same right i mean there's you know um i think

00:02:27.680 it matters about timing and duration depending on how long you guys have been together for

00:02:31.620 depends on when you need to open up because my partner opens up to me but that took a long time

00:02:36.160 and even when he does it's limited information he's not gonna cry to me he's not gonna cry to me

00:02:41.380 would it be attractive if your partner cried to you all the time baby don't cry to me

00:02:47.240 but he doesn't cry to me but i i always let him know that you know i'm supposed to be your safe haven

00:02:55.280 you know your partner is supposed to be that safe space but doesn't mean crying to me from monday

00:03:00.620 to friday to sunday no not every day but you know that i'm supposed to be your safe space

00:03:07.740 so um i'm curious for for you because you said um you want a guy to meet your standards what are

00:03:14.560 your standards um i would say he needs to be tall i'm five six so five ten minimum okay um he needs

00:03:23.300 to be earning do you know what i'm not specific about numbers because i actually don't like i'm

00:03:28.120 not on a salary like i work for myself so jammy i don't get salary so i don't really know how people

00:03:32.420 maneuver but um he needs to be able to look after me pay the bills pay everything and then also give

00:03:38.680 me money on top not that i won't do the same for him but i'm just saying you want him to pay 100%

00:03:43.420 of the bill and give you how much money does he have to give you on top he needs to pay 100% of

00:03:47.760 the books he just needs to give me money like if i want to buy something so how much roughly

00:03:51.440 exactly for example i might want to buy a dior bag this month they start from about two three k

00:03:57.920 then i might need that but it won't be all the time it'll be sometimes can you know just buy

00:04:03.120 it by yourself that well i can definitely buy it by myself but if i sometimes things feel nicer

00:04:07.900 when it's a gift from your partner what's the point of having a boyfriend yeah what's the point

00:04:11.660 of having a boyfriend so it can be a gift i don't think your boyfriend's supposed to take care of

00:04:15.740 you yeah there's a need to you know he doesn't need to take care of you but it's nice that i like

00:04:20.640 i like luxury i like luxury items so that's something that's something that if you go to

00:04:24.500 walthamstow market you can get them for $20 but if you're the one who likes the luxury items why

00:04:32.140 does he have to pay for it no i'm not saying i won't buy it myself but this is the thing i'm not

00:04:36.400 saying he even has to pay for it i'm just saying that he needs to make enough whereby there's capacity

00:04:40.280 and there's room where he can afford to give me money for a bag if that's what i want to get at

00:04:45.620 that present moment in time so i need him to be extremely comfortable there needs to be spare money

00:04:49.480 everywhere even on my part as well there needs to be spare money where we can spend it

00:04:53.580 luxuriously that's how i would like to live personally and what is what does he get in

00:04:57.500 return he gets a loyal loving woman who will eventually have his kids take care of the house

00:05:04.520 you know will also look after him if gift if he likes gifts he can he can get a gift as well

00:05:09.240 because there's there's money there okay okay um so how much money do you think that would cost

00:05:16.220 of two and three grand on the go because that's what some people make in a month

00:05:19.900 yeah yeah that is true um i mean based on people around me definitely 100 100k plus salary

00:05:27.380 for sure what percent of men do you think make that oh i know it's a low percentage 100 i know

00:05:33.160 i know it's not that high but personally the people i'm around to make that amount of money so i feel

00:05:37.640 like it's accessible to me and that's why i have that standard okay um i think it's like five percent

00:05:43.500 of men yeah it's very low so then do you think you're in the top five percent of women

00:05:47.280 that make that amount no no just in terms of like what men look for oh i believe so yes

00:05:52.500 so like youth purity femininity i mean i don't know i mean men like men like me but i don't

00:05:59.000 know if i'm in the top five percent i would say i am i'm a very confident woman but i don't know

00:06:03.200 okay uh what do you look for um i look for someone who can match me in terms of um like for example

00:06:10.920 that i drive i want a man that drives i live alone i want a man who lives alone i work i want a man 0.62

00:06:16.820 what that works um and then on top of that he needs to be at least like five foot ten

00:06:22.520 yeah and yeah that's it and when it comes down to money i don't really have a figure

00:06:29.420 on that the same as um like uh 40 40 40 000 i'm okay with that i've noticed in london the girls 1.00

00:06:39.120 aren't as picky about money well except her but

00:06:42.040 i get a lot more 40 50 thousands like here than i do when like i was doing podcasts in miami

00:06:51.080 like here i don't know why it's a lot lower here because i think the percentage there's not that

00:06:56.620 many men like you said that are making too many bro keys 0.89

00:06:59.380 yeah but there's not a ton it's it's not a higher percentage i don't know what the difference is i

00:07:07.200 could look it up maybe but it's it's similar in the u.s it's still only five ten percent of men

00:07:11.800 that make over six figures that's interesting

00:07:15.920 so we're not that picky then are we

00:07:20.540 i mean well i i think if women weren't picky then like we wouldn't be single 1.00

00:07:26.200 because there's always a guy there's always a guy that wants to date you yeah yeah miami does

00:07:32.780 seem to be particularly like money focused though not that london isn't in certain pockets but

00:07:37.140 there's also a lot of more regular people in london who maybe they're you know they're not as

00:07:40.760 bothered what do you look for troy what do i look for are you are you picky it's strict well no

00:07:47.720 it's kind of an open it's extremely open it's it's an open door policy basically um i mean look

00:07:55.420 as a guy i mean what do i look for obviously i look for somebody that i'm attracted to you know

00:07:59.940 somebody who i think is aesthetically nice you know um but equally it's about is she pleasant you

00:08:07.140 know is she cool to hang around with i think that's really what it comes down to it's like you said

00:08:10.400 before i'm not i'm not bothered about what she makes i'm not bothered about her job i'm not bothered

00:08:15.360 about really any of those things but is she somebody that i can chill with and she's just

00:08:20.200 going to be pleasant and it's not going to be you know hard work basically it's a pretty low bar

00:08:25.540 really but that's that's kind of what it is you know i mean but but there has got to be that initial

00:08:30.020 attraction to be fair um so yeah i would say that really you know i don't think guys have a huge

00:08:36.900 shopping list of things that they're looking for really right so can i ask why you're single then

00:08:41.980 if your standards are not that high just haven't met the right woman yet then if yours if your

00:08:47.220 standards are low but you're single that means you're somewhat picky i am so no i am somewhat

00:08:52.180 picky and um i was no of course i'm somewhat picky because no i was joking before i'm somewhat picky

00:08:58.960 because like i mean look i'm i'm at an age now i mean when i was in my 20s you know running around

00:09:04.580 like a lunatic and you know whatever these days i i'm slightly less motivated by that you know what i

00:09:11.040 mean so if i'm going to spend time with somebody they've got to have certain you know they've got

00:09:14.220 to have a certain quality about them you know and that and for me the most important thing really

00:09:17.620 is pleasantness and also do we vibe you know that's that's important as well it's not like she

00:09:21.660 has to be super intellectual or she has to know about certain things that i'm interested in but if

00:09:26.040 we vibe do we have a good chemistry you know that's that's the important thing that's what i'm

00:09:29.780 looking for um but i'm single for for other reasons i mean i was in a relationship for a couple of

00:09:34.520 years um i came out of that a couple of years ago i just haven't really wanted to really get

00:09:39.780 serious with anybody do you know what i mean and also the nature of my job i'm traveling quite a

00:09:43.100 lot and stuff like that so you know it's a number of reasons really as many of you know i was just

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JustPearlyThings - April 05, 2023

The Man EVERY Woman WANTS

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