JustPearlyThings - April 30, 2023


The Reason Modern Women Can't Keep a Man


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

200.1139

Word count

1,874

Sentence count

161

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Melanie King grew up in a strict Christian home in the D.C. area. She talks about growing up with strict parents and how it shaped her into the woman she is today. She also talks about how she dealt with being a teen mom growing up.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What up guys? Welcome to the Just Pearly Things YouTube channel and welcome to The Sit Down.
00:00:06.240 Today I have a special guest on the channel, Melanie King. Welcome to the show.
00:00:12.780 Hi guys. Hi. Tell them a little bit about your channel.
00:00:17.320 Well, my channel is just basically, you know, pointing out kind of like a lot of the foolishness
00:00:23.080 that's out here, especially that women are doing, trying to hold them accountable, 1.00
00:00:25.780 you know, giving a female perspective on things, on dating and relationships, marriage, divorce. 1.00
00:00:33.820 I've been through all of it. So, you know, that's basically what I do.
00:00:38.960 So, I'd like to start from the beginning. I got questions. Okay.
00:00:43.060 Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
00:00:44.260 So, no. So I was wondering, where are you from originally?
00:00:47.640 D.C. Well, actually, PG County, Maryland, Pretty Girl County, Prince George's,
00:00:52.400 anybody who's out there, shout out. So, but it's around D.C. D.C. area.
00:00:56.160 Okay. Did you have siblings growing up?
00:00:58.120 I do. I have two older sisters. Um, so, but they're each, one is eight years older than me.
00:01:03.860 The other one's 16 years older than me. So we're all kind of spread out.
00:01:06.840 I grew up almost like an only child.
00:01:08.880 And how did you grow up different than the women today, would you say?
00:01:12.920 Um, I was in church three to four days a week.
00:01:15.900 Okay.
00:01:16.160 I went to Christian school my whole life, Southern Baptist.
00:01:18.520 So I was raised pretty strict. Um, I grew up with a lot of strong male leaders, um, from,
00:01:26.080 and my dad, my uncles, uh, you know, that type of thing.
00:01:31.280 I also, I grew up in the Pentagon. My mother worked, um, in the Pentagon most of my life.
00:01:36.460 And so growing up and around the federal government, you're just around, like, military men and that
00:01:41.420 type of presence. And so you get used to how men are and their kind of authority and how they
00:01:46.780 do things. And it's just, it's just ingrained in me, I guess.
00:01:50.660 Yeah.
00:01:51.200 Yeah. Cause I was, I'm surprised you didn't grow up with brothers.
00:01:54.580 Like I found a lot of the girls in this space grew up with brothers, but you didn't.
00:01:58.680 So it makes sense to me that it was a military family.
00:02:01.460 Well, they, my, my parents weren't really military. It's like they had left the military.
00:02:05.940 They were more like very religious and strict. They aren't now anymore. I'm like, okay.
00:02:10.560 Right. Now they're like completely different, but I grew up that way. And then just, I was around a
00:02:16.680 lot of people who, you know, in DC, it's a very conscious area in terms of just, you know, you're
00:02:22.920 aware of social issues, you know, just being around military people in power, people, you know, um,
00:02:31.200 making a difference in the world. And so I was raised with that type of mindset.
00:02:35.160 Did you think that was good for you as a kid to grow up in like a strict household?
00:02:38.380 No, absolutely not. No, no.
00:02:41.020 Well, you came out so grounded. Like, it's not like, you know, these girls with no, you
00:02:45.420 know, no parents around that are just wild. And you know, you, when I was younger though,
00:02:49.540 I did, I knew I was different. Like I used to say all the time because girls will be talking 1.00
00:02:54.060 about certain things and doing certain things. And I would always say, I always thought naturally
00:02:59.080 like, that's stupid. Like, that's dumb. You're going to be a teen mom. Like you're going to
00:03:02.700 get pregnant or that boy is like not going to marry you. Like I wouldn't naturally think of
00:03:07.440 those things, but my parents would talk to me about it. And so, but growing up, I couldn't do
00:03:12.240 certain things. Other people could, other girls could, um, like, like I said, I couldn't wear 0.98
00:03:16.560 dresses above my knees. I couldn't, you know, and everyone else was free and I was just, I felt
00:03:22.460 restricted. Um, but I got used to it, but I didn't think it was special. I just thought I was just,
00:03:27.960 you know, my, this is what my life was.
00:03:30.360 No, it's interesting. Cause I grew up sort of, my parents were kind of like free range
00:03:34.000 parents. Okay. So I've always wondered like what it would be like to grow up in a strict
00:03:37.800 household. Yeah. My dad is strict. My mother is not. So there's like this, my father's like
00:03:44.360 ultra masculine and like hardcore. And my mother's like ultra soft feminine to the point where she's 1.00
00:03:50.940 never even punished me. Now my dad, he was a different. So I had this, it was, she would be 0.96
00:03:55.960 free range if she could, but he wouldn't let her be. So I don't know. It was a good balance. I think
00:04:01.520 that has to be good though. Has a kid to have like the masculine and feminine, you know, the 1.00
00:04:06.180 difference in parenting styles. Now I can see it, but when you're younger, it's like you, you know,
00:04:12.340 even when you're young, you just don't know better. You just feel like it's just your life. My dad's
00:04:16.360 being tough on me. I'm going to go to mom, but then mom will say, go talk to your father. Cause she
00:04:21.080 wasn't going to undermine his authority. So it was that kind of thing. So what did you do next?
00:04:25.540 You turned 18, you went to college, you got married. What'd you do next?
00:04:28.460 I went to college. Um, I dropped out. Um, and then I went on because I knew college wasn't
00:04:35.700 for me. School was never for me. I was more like, I did, I was very creative. So I ended
00:04:41.620 up getting like really good jobs. So my first job out of college, I worked at XM radio.
00:04:46.480 I got a job there and then I moved on to PBS and then I moved on to Vogue in New York. Um,
00:04:53.560 but then also I did a lot of production and things for like national geographic.
00:04:57.560 I interned at the white house. I interned at the Smithsonian Institute in DC.
00:05:02.620 So I always had like a, you know, had a lot that I had going on when I was younger.
00:05:06.700 So when, um, you got married when I got married when I was 29, so, um, I got married, uh, and
00:05:16.420 then I had two, my two daughters and then I got divorced. I was married for about 11 years
00:05:22.680 or so. Yeah. And how did you, cause a lot of times, um, women seem to think that they 1.00
00:05:27.800 have to have one or the other, like they can't have a family and a career. And you, you seem
00:05:31.220 to have been able to do both. I never wanted a career. I grew up, um, cause in the religion
00:05:36.200 that I was in Southern Baptist, being a housewife was aspirational. So I never wanted a career.
00:05:42.000 So that I would just, that's why I didn't want to finish school. I just wanted to float around
00:05:45.100 and experience different things. I was like, Oh, it'd be cool to work at XM radio. Oh,
00:05:48.960 it'd be cool to work at PBS. It'd be cool to work at Vogue. And so I just, I just want,
00:05:53.700 I just got jobs just to try them out. But I always, my destination was to find a husband,
00:05:59.260 um, and be a stay at home mom. Like is that's what, how we were raised. That's how I was raised.
00:06:06.280 My parents didn't make me or put that in my mind, but there were a lot of women I knew 1.00
00:06:11.060 like that. And I was like, that seems pretty, pretty cool. Were you able to do that to be
00:06:18.540 a stay at home mom? Yeah. I haven't worked a job, a real job in 17 years. Oh my gosh.
00:06:22.820 That sounds amazing. Worked a real job in 17 years. So, uh, so yeah, you know,
00:06:28.980 somehow it worked out for me, but I was raised like, again, in an environment that like taught
00:06:36.600 me, like, like a lot of women nowadays, like submissions are dirty work. Like this was what 1.00
00:06:41.100 I cut my teeth on, like submission wives, submit yourself to your husband and men were the leaders 1.00
00:06:46.300 and authority. We were serving the men food. Like you listen to what a man says. He's the final
00:06:52.100 authority in a household. You, you can't talk to him a certain way. You know, like I was
00:06:57.680 raised that way. So to me, it was a natural transition. I think a lot of women today, they
00:07:03.940 weren't raised in that environment and they're trying to learn it now, like femininity and 0.99
00:07:08.600 submission and serving a man a plate or to me, those are bottom of the barrel basics. Like
00:07:13.480 that should be standard model for every woman. Why do you think it isn't? Um, I think, I think,
00:07:20.100 I mean, there's a, there's layers to it. Um, the household that people are raised in, um,
00:07:27.340 the philosophies and how people are raised, like, uh, say if someone's raised in a single
00:07:31.660 mother environment, a lot of times a girl in that environment almost has to be masculine, 0.99
00:07:37.620 be like a man, take care of things very early. Um, and if there's toxicity, you know, negativity
00:07:44.380 about men, if she doesn't have positive male role models, men to practice these things on, 0.87
00:07:49.580 or she doesn't see it demonstrated, it's just not natural. And, and if you know, in society
00:07:54.740 and modern media, no one puts this out there, you know, it's actually put down and it's seen
00:08:00.560 as almost shameful and being independent, free of a man and his authority is the dominating
00:08:07.740 thought process nowadays, or how girls are being raised. And even women who have had fathers 0.99
00:08:13.500 in the home, they're so concerned about their daughters not succeeding is like, you know,
00:08:18.000 grow up and get your education, get your job. You know, you don't, even a lot of fathers nowadays
00:08:23.420 are saying you don't need a man. And so I think that's why, like, there's no one, no one pushing
00:08:30.040 it. No one cares until they hit a certain point in the dating world and they realize it's important.
00:08:35.440 You know what I noticed too, that a lot of people from two parent homes, like the mom wore the pants 0.99
00:08:40.820 in the relationship. So they never really saw what a traditional relationship looks like,
00:08:45.700 where the, where the man leads, because the woman's running the household. I mean, 1.00
00:08:49.080 they say happy wife, happy life for a reason, right? Yeah. That her happiness will determine 0.98
00:08:53.740 the happiness of the family. Exactly. That, that is what people say. And see,
00:08:58.240 I never grew up with any of that. And, and I never had that modeled to me, or said to me,
00:09:05.700 or the men were the leaders. Like, it's just what it was. Um, from, from my home to school,
00:09:13.220 because I was in Christian school my whole life. Very, very strict Christian school too.
00:09:16.700 And a Catholic school. Okay. So a Catholic school, the same thing. It's like, you know,
00:09:20.560 it's just, it is what it is.