JustPearlyThings - The REASON You Shouldn't Listen to Women

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.920 I just don't want somebody to make me feel like I got to back us up

00:00:04.420 and you ain't doing nothing.

00:00:06.900 You know what I'm saying?

00:00:08.020 No.

00:00:08.920 Okay.

00:00:09.720 I don't want to feel like I'm in a situation where a man is being disrespectful.

00:00:16.620 Maybe I'm out with my fiancé and we're out to dinner

00:00:20.880 and maybe somebody's being really disrespectful on the table next to us.

00:00:25.680 I don't want to feel like I'm going back and forth with this person

00:00:28.840 and you're just sitting there watching us go back and forth.

00:00:31.940 I don't want to feel like I'm not protected that way.

00:00:34.040 So you do like the bad boys a little bit?

00:00:35.820 It doesn't necessarily have to be bad.

00:00:37.880 It just has to be...

00:00:40.900 He knows how to make me feel safe.

00:00:42.860 It doesn't have to be bad, though.

00:00:44.200 That's Cap.

00:00:44.760 I'm both of their friends and they both like bad boys.

00:00:48.180 I cut my hands up.

00:00:49.380 I accept that.

00:00:50.400 I don't like...

00:00:51.520 Is he a bad boy?

00:00:53.040 Is he a bad boy?

00:00:53.960 You know who I'm talking about.

00:00:55.540 Is he a bad boy?

00:00:56.920 Is he got time to be a bad boy?

00:00:58.400 No, seriously.

00:00:59.460 He might not be a bad boy now, but he was previously.

00:01:01.900 Men...

00:01:02.720 Men vet other men better than women do.

00:01:05.520 Let them talk.

00:01:06.480 I'm telling you, like, they're lying.

00:01:09.260 They both like bad boys.

00:01:10.240 Well, you told the truth, but she's lying.

00:01:12.640 She likes bad boys.

00:01:14.300 Felons have 30% more kids over their lifetimes than non-felons.

00:01:20.400 Why do modern women love bad boys?

00:01:23.820 I can't answer that one.

00:01:25.400 I can.

00:01:27.020 Well, I can answer from my perspective.

00:01:28.760 I feel like we like bad boys because we feel like we want to feel protected.

00:01:35.500 But what makes you feel like a good guy can't protect you?

00:01:40.040 It's not that they can't.

00:01:41.860 It's just I haven't seen that they can.

00:01:45.280 Whereas with bad boys, you kind of know what they're on.

00:01:48.900 So, like, you can...

00:01:50.420 So, sorry, carry on, but I just want to ask you something.

00:01:53.180 So, do you feel it's a man's job to protect you always?

00:01:56.660 Yeah.

00:01:57.660 No, that's cool.

00:01:58.560 No, I do.

00:01:58.980 My dad protects me, so I feel like my man should do.

00:02:02.220 Yeah, that's cool.

00:02:02.860 That's what I feel.

00:02:03.760 That's what we prescribe to you.

00:02:05.740 But there seems to be something that goes on when we speak like this.

00:02:08.960 There seems to be a different narrative that gets pushed about how we speak about wanting to protect women and be there.

00:02:13.400 So, when I heard you say protect, that's one of the things that we always talk about.

00:02:17.780 So, I just picked up on it.

00:02:18.840 Carry on.

00:02:19.180 No, that's fair enough.

00:02:21.040 Yeah, that's why I would rather...

00:02:25.020 Yeah.

00:02:25.980 Do most of your friends like the nice guys or the bad boys?

00:02:29.740 Most of my friends, they like bad boys as well.

00:02:34.200 What about each other?

00:02:35.720 What are each other's types?

00:02:38.800 I just don't want somebody to make me feel like I've got to back us up

00:02:42.540 and you ain't doing nothing.

00:02:45.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:02:46.160 No.

00:02:46.600 No.

00:02:47.060 Okay.

00:02:47.940 I don't want to feel like I'm in a situation where a man is being disrespectful.

00:02:54.760 Maybe I'm out with my fiancé and we're out to dinner

00:02:59.020 and maybe somebody's being really disrespectful on the table next to us.

00:03:03.940 I don't want to feel like I'm going back and forth with this person

00:03:06.960 and you're just sitting there watching us go back and forth.

00:03:10.060 I don't want to feel like I'm not protected that way.

00:03:12.100 So you do like the bad boys a little bit?

00:03:13.900 No.

00:03:14.200 It doesn't necessarily have to be bad.

00:03:16.020 It just has to be...

00:03:18.100 He knows how to make me feel safe.

00:03:20.980 It doesn't have to be bad though.

00:03:22.320 That's Cap.

00:03:22.900 I'm both of their friends and they both like bad boys.

00:03:26.480 I have my hands up.

00:03:27.520 I said that.

00:03:28.540 I don't like...

00:03:29.640 The guy...

00:03:30.160 Is he a bad boy?

00:03:31.160 Is he a bad boy?

00:03:32.240 You know who I'm talking about.

00:03:33.700 Is he a bad boy?

00:03:35.280 Has he got time to be a bad boy?

00:03:36.600 No, seriously.

00:03:37.580 He might not be a bad boy now, but he was previously.

00:03:39.920 Men...

00:03:40.840 Men vet other men better than women do.

00:03:43.660 Let him talk.

00:03:44.620 I'm telling you, like...

00:03:46.620 They're lying.

00:03:47.440 They both like bad boys.

00:03:48.380 Well, you talk the truth.

00:03:49.380 But...

00:03:49.720 I don't lie, yeah.

00:03:50.200 She's lying.

00:03:50.780 She likes bad boys.

00:03:52.540 Do you know what?

00:03:53.060 It's not that she's lying, guys.

00:03:54.600 Yeah.

00:03:55.020 It's...

00:03:55.720 She believes that that's not what she likes.

00:03:59.240 But it is what she likes.

00:04:01.600 Po, you know what I found interesting?

00:04:03.000 I don't think she does.

00:04:04.700 I feel like deep down, like, we know.

00:04:06.460 We just don't like to admit it.

00:04:07.740 Yeah.

00:04:08.120 So she believes that she doesn't like them, but she does.

00:04:10.820 And so then later, when we get bamboozled, we're like, oh, no.

00:04:14.100 She's like, I can't believe it.

00:04:15.800 And it's like, come on.

00:04:17.500 More time, for these guys, if they tell me they're seeing someone,

00:04:20.020 I can just assess the situation and know what's going to happen.

00:04:22.560 But obviously, I can't say, because then I'm just being negative.

00:04:25.680 So what about my situation now?

00:04:27.520 I told you about that already.

00:04:28.980 Tell us.

00:04:30.040 Tell us.

00:04:31.480 I don't want to answer it on camera, because obviously,

00:04:33.540 he might be watching right now, innit?

00:04:34.860 And I don't want to, you know.

00:04:36.080 You've already said enough, still.

00:04:38.300 You know what?

00:04:38.840 He's really got the gist of it.

00:04:39.620 You know what I find interesting, yeah?

00:04:41.500 You know what I find interesting?

00:04:42.580 You both mentioned, talked about being protected.

00:04:44.960 But then when we spoke about you going to certain places

00:04:47.100 and putting yourself in certain dangers about...

00:04:49.120 You wasn't worried about being protected then.

00:04:51.560 So...

00:04:51.960 I don't go to clubbing festivals.

00:04:54.420 Okay.

00:04:55.080 I go out for drinks.

00:04:55.900 Yeah.

00:04:56.260 And I go, like, places with my friends.

00:04:58.140 Yeah.

00:04:58.220 But, for instance, if my man didn't want...

00:05:00.520 Like, I go out because I work Sunday to Thursday.

00:05:04.660 Yeah.

00:05:04.800 And I'm stuck in a house from Sunday to Thursday.

00:05:06.960 Can't leave.

00:05:07.760 So on the weekend, I like to go out and let my hair down.

00:05:10.240 But if I had a partner and he didn't want me to go out with my friends,

00:05:13.000 I'd go out with him.

00:05:14.100 Like...

00:05:14.260 Yeah.

00:05:14.580 It doesn't...

00:05:14.920 Okay, so we're going to move that.

00:05:16.820 Yeah.

00:05:17.300 But the reason why I say it is because you spoke about protection.

00:05:20.040 I don't want to be out in a restaurant and a man says something

00:05:22.540 and he can't handle it.

00:05:23.600 And that's perfectly fine.

00:05:25.160 But now you listen...

00:05:26.580 Now you're starting to think how men think.

00:05:28.960 I don't want my girl to be out in a club or something and something happens

00:05:32.160 and I'm not there to protect her.

00:05:34.420 So, see, a lot of the things that men think about, we mitigate and we see dangers.

00:05:38.440 A lot of dangers you may not see.

00:05:39.800 And it's the part of, you know, loving your family, loving your girl.

00:05:44.240 I have sisters and I've had relationships where your girl's going to go outside

00:05:48.980 and then something's going to happen.

00:05:50.960 And, you know, now you get the call and upset girl.

00:05:53.420 Now you have to come outside.

00:05:54.440 You might be giving your bedroom a call now.

00:05:56.300 He has to come outside.

00:05:57.460 Now, so when we step outside now, two things can happen.

00:06:00.940 Well, more than two things can happen.

00:06:02.300 But now I'm putting my safety at jeopardy because I'm about to go into a scenario

00:06:05.960 which I don't know because something could have happened to you.

00:06:08.820 And on top of that, I'm potentially putting my freedom on the line as well.

00:06:12.300 So, these are two scenarios that have happened

00:06:15.120 all because potentially you went into somewhere where you didn't have to go.

00:06:18.780 And that's not stopping you from going out.

00:06:20.380 It's just when we say, when your man asks you certain things,

00:06:24.020 these are the things that we think of.

00:06:25.500 So, you already likened it to being at a restaurant

00:06:28.660 and my man's there to protect me in case someone disrespects me.

00:06:32.460 But if your man's not there, this is how we think.

00:06:34.460 What if someone disrespects her then?

00:06:36.180 So, I just want you to think about that a little bit.

00:06:38.260 Just to add to that point, sorry, as well,

00:06:39.980 is that you have the expectation for the man to protect you.

00:06:43.280 That's got to be a man that you listen to.

00:06:44.640 Because why is a guy going to be willing to do all of these things

00:06:47.180 to protect someone that when he says something,

00:06:49.060 she won't even listen to him?

00:06:50.720 You know what I mean?

00:06:51.220 It's like having your cake and eating it.

00:06:53.900 And a guy is willing to do a lot more for a girl

00:06:55.840 that he knows will listen to him when he says something.

00:06:58.480 Facts.

00:06:59.500 Like, anything.

00:07:00.200 Like, there's so much power in femininity.

00:07:04.100 Do you know how mad it is?

00:07:05.060 Like, you women sometimes don't understand

00:07:06.440 how much power that you have.

00:07:07.620 Like, just by listening and just by actually just saying,

00:07:10.260 you know, actually, I agree.

00:07:11.040 Oh, you know, she listens to me.

00:07:12.200 Oh, she's a winner.

00:07:13.460 Let me go and do something nice for her.

00:07:15.100 Just something as simple as that.

00:07:17.260 But instead, you want to battle.

00:07:19.120 And we're like, ooh, not actually.

00:07:20.680 Gonna go cheat on her.

00:07:21.460 No, I'm joking.

00:07:21.780 So, I asked this question earlier.

00:07:31.380 How, to the guys, would you rather date a girl

00:07:36.140 that has, let's say, 75 bodies or a child?

00:07:44.100 But how much bodies does the girl, the child, have?

00:07:46.620 Oh, let's say low, five, three, three, two, two.

00:07:52.940 Probably the girl with the child,

00:07:54.240 but it's still awkward at the same time.

00:07:57.240 Yeah.

00:07:59.700 Okay, wait.

00:08:00.480 Do I know any of these 75 bodies?

00:08:05.980 Let's say, 75, you gotta know one.

00:08:10.380 You gotta know one.

00:08:11.680 75 bodies, you know?

00:08:17.700 75 bodies over a child?

00:08:19.240 Yeah, every time.

00:08:21.640 Definitely the child,

00:08:22.980 because today the amount girls demand from boys,

00:08:26.620 they get boys to work hard like anything.

00:08:30.160 And they hardly even give a child.

00:08:33.360 And they part up very quickly

00:08:35.540 if boys don't work hard and earn an amount.

00:08:38.680 So, you would date the woman with the child

00:08:40.880 over 75.

00:08:42.100 Yeah, and today many times

00:08:43.760 that the basic benefit for a boy

00:08:46.060 to marry a girl

00:08:46.880 is just pushing on generation.

00:08:49.780 There's hardly any other benefit

00:08:51.480 of marriage today.

00:08:52.860 There isn't.

00:08:53.640 That's why many people are getting married

00:08:55.260 if you look at our generation.

00:08:56.660 For me, I'd say,

00:08:57.920 I would choose the girl with a child

00:09:00.460 because the woman who's got 75 bodies

00:09:03.880 is less valuable.

00:09:04.840 It's like, I don't want her

00:09:05.800 because now everybody wants her.

00:09:07.600 Or everybody's had her.

00:09:08.680 So, it's like, you can put her to the side.

00:09:10.260 Yeah, but reality,

00:09:11.820 someone that's got a child

00:09:12.700 is actually less valuable

00:09:13.680 because they're already given

00:09:14.440 the highest honour they can give to a man

00:09:15.800 by pushing out someone else's child.

00:09:17.500 So, you might see it different

00:09:18.640 because you've got a child.

00:09:19.720 But to a man like me,

00:09:21.360 I get no benefit from coming in

00:09:24.240 and bringing up another man's child.

00:09:27.060 There's no benefit for me at all.

00:09:28.860 I can't pass on my seeds.

00:09:31.000 So, have you ever dated a girl

00:09:32.620 that's got a child before?

00:09:33.700 It doesn't sound like you have.

00:09:35.220 No, but...

00:09:36.240 No, I've slept with women with children.

00:09:39.020 No, that's not the question I asked.

00:09:40.820 Have you ever dated a girl

00:09:42.600 that's got a child?

00:09:43.640 No, but I wouldn't.

00:09:45.100 Why?

00:09:45.740 Because men don't finish other men's games.

00:09:50.640 And this is the truth of the matter.

00:09:51.900 Like, end of the day,

00:09:52.620 you're going to see something differently

00:09:53.780 because you've got a child.

00:09:54.700 But myself, I've got to a good age

00:09:56.760 and I'm with no children.

00:09:57.720 My friend over there as well

00:09:58.720 got to a good age with no children.

00:10:00.240 There's some responsibility you need to have.

00:10:01.700 So, I think when we grew up,

00:10:04.140 we were told that, you know,

00:10:05.520 if you went out there,

00:10:06.240 you had a child out of bed,

00:10:07.260 that could be a lot harder for you.

00:10:08.740 So, we knew that.

00:10:09.940 But there seemed to be something now.

00:10:10.920 They're trying to push being a stepdad

00:10:12.240 is some type of good thing

00:10:13.600 that men should do

00:10:14.540 and it's an honour.

00:10:15.060 It's not an honour.

00:10:15.720 It's a big disrespect for us

00:10:16.860 because we get a continuous reminder

00:10:18.420 that we were not the first choice.

00:10:20.540 As far as I'm concerned,

00:10:21.580 both of you women are virgins.

00:10:22.880 The only way I know you're not a virgin

00:10:24.140 is when you come with a child

00:10:25.180 and that's how the world looks at it.

00:10:26.940 So, there's no benefits for us, man.

00:10:31.700 Why do you feel that it's so good

00:10:36.180 without a child?

00:10:37.760 Otherwise, how do we progress

00:10:39.240 our generation?

00:10:40.700 No, that's not my...

00:10:41.720 She should have married the guy

00:10:42.400 before she had the child.

00:10:43.860 She should have married the guy, man.

00:10:45.340 He wants to have a kid with a girl.

00:10:47.040 He doesn't want to raise

00:10:47.520 someone else's kid.

00:10:49.420 It comes down to poor decision-making

00:10:50.640 again as well, you know.

00:10:52.060 And I think a lot of...

00:10:53.840 You know what?

00:10:54.920 What really annoys me,

00:10:56.040 I'll tell you what annoys me,

00:10:56.940 is meeting women

00:10:57.820 outside the nightclub

00:10:58.980 with newly born kids

00:10:59.900 one year old

00:11:01.000 and they're looking for a new man.

00:11:01.960 I just do not understand it.

00:11:03.780 You pushed out a whole man's kid

00:11:06.400 that you have no idea

00:11:07.940 that you don't want to be with.

00:11:09.400 Now you're outside

00:11:10.320 looking for a new man

00:11:11.540 and you really think

00:11:12.580 you're going to get

00:11:13.660 a good quality man.

00:11:14.480 No, you're just going to get dates

00:11:15.720 and get your back blown out.

00:11:17.000 Do you know what I'm saying to you?

00:11:17.460 That's all you're going to get

00:11:18.280 because society has lied to you

00:11:19.740 and made you think

00:11:20.260 that you can go and get higher.

00:11:21.760 Typically, you don't get higher

00:11:22.760 than your baby dad.

00:11:23.560 So, wherever your baby dad is,

00:11:24.980 when women are cussing their baby dad,

00:11:26.640 we look at you and say,

00:11:27.360 oh, but you bred from that man.

00:11:29.240 And now you're trying to come to me

00:11:30.640 and you want me to come

00:11:31.600 and pick up the mess.

00:11:32.600 So, for example,

00:11:33.260 let me say something to you.

00:11:34.060 If I meet you

00:11:34.560 and you've got one child,

00:11:36.360 if I want to get married to you

00:11:38.400 or want to move in with you,

00:11:39.140 I want to get a place for us,

00:11:40.920 if we started a one-bedroom

00:11:42.540 it might have been enough

00:11:43.100 because we could have started

00:11:43.560 even a two-bedroom.

00:11:44.740 Cool.

00:11:45.100 But I have to think about your child.

00:11:46.500 So, when I want to have my own child,

00:11:47.920 we need to actually have a three-bedroom.

00:11:49.040 It's already costing me.

00:11:50.180 So, if I want to send my children to school,

00:11:52.180 you know,

00:11:52.380 I want to send my child to private school.

00:11:54.240 Can I send my child to private school

00:11:55.500 and send your kid

00:11:56.040 to the local comprehensive?

00:11:57.100 Will you like that?

00:11:58.120 If I want to buy my child

00:11:59.660 for example, Jordans,

00:12:01.260 but your child wants trainers,

00:12:02.200 I'm like,

00:12:02.480 no, I'm going to buy them high-tech.

00:12:04.160 Is that okay with you?

00:12:05.320 If we go out,

00:12:06.360 if we go out,

00:12:07.220 for example,

00:12:07.920 to the fun fair,

00:12:09.260 to Thorpe Park,

00:12:09.920 Alton Towers,

00:12:10.980 my child wants to get ice cream,

00:12:13.280 wants to get some,

00:12:13.980 you know,

00:12:14.420 wants to get some teddies

00:12:15.160 and I'll buy them

00:12:15.740 and then your child says,

00:12:16.600 can I have some?

00:12:17.120 I said, no,

00:12:17.900 go and call your dad

00:12:18.560 and pay for him.

00:12:19.060 Are you going to be okay with that?

00:12:20.420 The fact remains is

00:12:21.340 these childs are going to be a cost for us.

00:12:23.020 Women don't look at it like that,

00:12:26.040 the benefits of me raising your child

00:12:28.140 other than the ones

00:12:28.820 that you will see fit.

00:12:29.920 Can I discipline your child

00:12:30.880 the way I want to?

00:12:32.200 Can I hit your child if I want to?

00:12:33.400 You might not see hitting your child,

00:12:34.400 but I may want to do that.

00:12:35.320 Can I do that?

00:12:36.260 In the future,

00:12:36.840 if you have a female daughter,

00:12:37.880 in the future,

00:12:38.340 she gets old enough

00:12:39.040 and she makes an accusation against me.

00:12:40.740 Are you going to treat me like a father

00:12:41.960 or are you going to treat me as someone?

00:12:43.460 These are all things

00:12:44.220 that men mitigate and think to

00:12:45.660 and because you don't think as far as head,

00:12:47.560 you don't realize

00:12:48.180 why it's so dangerous

00:12:48.980 and it's not worth us being stepdads.

00:12:53.020 Boom.

00:12:54.700 What do you guys think of that?

00:12:56.880 It's the truth.

00:12:58.320 I'm sorry, you too.

00:13:00.100 You seem shocked.

00:13:01.480 I don't know.

00:13:03.060 Or does that make sense to you?

00:13:04.860 I don't know how to feel

00:13:06.720 simply because

00:13:07.780 I have a stepdad,

00:13:10.060 which is her dad.

00:13:10.620 Yeah, my dad raised her from the age of two.

00:13:12.520 So if I didn't get a father figure in life,

00:13:15.160 I might have not understood

00:13:16.380 the way that I think to this day.

00:13:19.000 And it doesn't necessarily have to mean

00:13:20.520 me being in a relationship,

00:13:21.720 but maybe just simple things in life

00:13:24.380 or how I can look at life

00:13:25.880 or my beliefs in life

00:13:27.340 or how to be open-minded,

00:13:29.780 who I am as a black woman.

00:13:31.240 If I didn't get those certain things,

00:13:33.060 could I just hope that my mum

00:13:35.220 was going to give me all of that?

00:13:36.520 And also,

00:13:37.220 our dad treats us the same.

00:13:39.340 Yeah.

00:13:39.380 He doesn't differentiate.

00:13:41.100 If I get, she gets.

00:13:42.380 If she gets, I get.

00:13:43.240 Well, I think that's also representative

00:13:44.580 of your mother.

00:13:45.540 So your mum's recognised

00:13:46.400 this man's going to be a stepdad

00:13:47.700 and she's going to treat him

00:13:48.700 like probably like...

00:13:49.400 We have different mums.

00:13:49.900 Different mums.

00:13:50.640 Okay.

00:13:51.320 Wait, so...

00:13:52.020 Yeah.

00:13:52.860 It's complicated.

00:13:54.440 Our younger siblings have...

00:13:56.400 So I have the same dad

00:13:58.240 as our younger siblings

00:13:59.340 and she has the same mum

00:14:00.340 as our younger siblings.

00:14:01.140 Just a different dad.

00:14:01.900 I'm the only one

00:14:02.680 with a different dad

00:14:03.640 and I'm the only one

00:14:04.260 with a different mum.

00:14:05.980 So they both brought a kid

00:14:07.520 into the relationship.

00:14:08.400 Yeah.

00:14:08.740 Okay, cool.

00:14:09.420 I understand.

00:14:10.000 I understand.

00:14:11.520 Yeah, but I'll still say

00:14:12.540 the same thing.

00:14:13.340 I think before men

00:14:15.860 were respected

00:14:16.880 for being stepdads.

00:14:17.960 Like they were respected.

00:14:18.900 They were seen as

00:14:19.480 they were picking up

00:14:20.100 another man.

00:14:20.900 There was literally

00:14:21.460 women would be like,

00:14:22.780 oh my God,

00:14:23.080 I can't believe I'm getting married.

00:14:24.100 This guy's come.

00:14:24.820 But now it's like,

00:14:25.820 they think being a single mother

00:14:27.780 is like empowering

00:14:28.900 and it's something

00:14:29.520 to be proud of.

00:14:30.220 I'm like, girl,

00:14:30.840 you can't even keep the man

00:14:31.820 that you bred from.

00:14:32.920 We don't respect that over here.

00:14:34.240 And when we say it loud,

00:14:35.280 it sounds mad

00:14:36.820 because men don't say this

00:14:38.440 because they're not going

00:14:39.120 to stay around long enough.

00:14:40.180 They're just going to hit it

00:14:41.000 and keep it moving.

00:14:42.000 I think there's also

00:14:42.560 a correlation between that

00:14:43.480 and the promiscuous behavior

00:14:45.420 of women as well.

00:14:46.140 Because you know,

00:14:46.480 we were talking about

00:14:47.140 hoes before.

00:14:48.160 When you sleep around

00:14:49.240 indiscriminately

00:14:50.020 and you're not really

00:14:50.760 trying to filter out

00:14:51.680 who you've got a connection with,

00:14:53.100 who you see something

00:14:53.740 long term with,

00:14:55.100 that's when you're more likely

00:14:56.020 to end up being a single mum

00:14:57.220 because you're having sex

00:14:58.060 with a guy that probably

00:14:58.940 you've got no future with

00:14:59.960 and then you just end up

00:15:00.700 with this kid.

00:15:02.060 So I think there's a lot

00:15:02.620 of that going on as well.

00:15:04.280 How these women

00:15:04.700 end up single mums.

00:15:05.700 Well, and the problem is

00:15:06.860 it's a lot bigger liability

00:15:08.220 nowadays to become

00:15:09.540 a stepfather

00:15:10.660 because one,

00:15:11.460 like if she leaves,

00:15:12.180 you have no rights

00:15:12.880 to that child.

00:15:14.100 So you could raise a kid

00:15:15.040 for 10 years

00:15:15.700 and you could never

00:15:16.480 see that child again.

00:15:18.420 And then on top of that,

00:15:19.540 like if you get married

00:15:20.600 to her and you get divorced,

00:15:21.880 like she can take half

00:15:22.940 and put you on child support

00:15:26.300 if you have more kids.

00:15:27.300 And women leave

00:15:31.280 70 to 80% of the time,

00:15:32.700 90% if they're college educated.

00:15:34.460 Oh no.

00:15:35.900 We're the ones,

00:15:36.720 a lot of times women

00:15:37.460 are afraid of being left,

00:15:38.500 but we're the ones leaving.

00:15:41.520 Does that surprise you?

00:15:43.320 Not really.

00:15:44.160 No?

00:15:44.520 No.

00:15:45.100 Do you think that's normal

00:15:45.880 with like what you've seen?

00:15:47.100 Yeah, definitely.

00:15:48.720 From what I've seen

00:15:49.880 in my lifetime,

00:15:50.560 I feel like,

00:15:51.440 like my mum was with

00:15:54.120 our dad for a while

00:15:57.160 and then she ended up

00:15:59.040 doing the independent thing

00:16:00.280 and like doing it herself.

00:16:01.940 But I don't know.

00:16:03.020 I just think like they,

00:16:03.720 they understood each other,

00:16:05.480 but they were two different people

00:16:06.500 at the same time

00:16:07.340 of what they wanted

00:16:08.120 to achieve out of life.

00:16:09.540 Did she get remarried?

00:16:10.980 No, my mum was never married actually.

00:16:13.340 Do you,

00:16:13.640 do you think she was happier

00:16:14.560 when she was in a relationship

00:16:15.620 or out of it?

00:16:17.980 In it.

00:16:18.700 In it?

00:16:19.000 I don't think she would

00:16:19.680 want to admit that,

00:16:20.820 but yeah.

00:16:21.740 Yeah.

00:16:22.000 She had happy times

00:16:22.760 when she was single too,

00:16:23.600 but I think just being a family

00:16:25.580 as a whole

00:16:26.000 would just make any woman

00:16:27.100 or any couple happy.

00:16:30.560 What,

00:16:31.300 does that like,

00:16:33.520 do you feel like

00:16:34.220 having that model growing up,

00:16:35.700 like was it,

00:16:36.980 did it help you with men

00:16:38.140 or no?

00:16:38.940 No.

00:16:42.480 I respect him.

00:16:44.280 I love him

00:16:45.000 as a father figure,

00:16:46.060 definitely.

00:16:46.980 But there's always going to be

00:16:48.700 that I'm not really chosen

00:16:50.300 kind of feeling

00:16:51.240 because he's not really

00:16:52.220 my biological dad

00:16:53.340 and it's not nothing against him.

00:16:55.120 It's just how I feel.

00:16:56.420 Maybe a lot of people

00:16:59.140 or kids

00:17:00.180 when they're in mixed

00:17:01.100 or blended families

00:17:01.960 probably feel that way too,

00:17:03.180 but I mean,

00:17:04.660 it's not their fault.

00:17:05.280 They do the best that they can.

00:17:06.600 How I feel

00:17:07.020 is just how I feel

00:17:07.760 based on

00:17:08.360 how I would like

00:17:10.320 my family to be,

00:17:11.300 I guess.

00:17:11.760 Like,

00:17:12.080 I would love my dad

00:17:13.060 to still be in the picture,

00:17:14.260 but that's not necessarily

00:17:15.700 the case.

00:17:17.760 I know who my dad is,

00:17:19.160 but we don't have

00:17:19.720 a relationship at all.

00:17:22.320 Do you feel like

00:17:23.060 having your dad

00:17:23.680 in the picture

00:17:24.140 would have helped you

00:17:24.800 like vet guys better?

00:17:26.080 I don't know

00:17:26.760 because now I know

00:17:27.380 who my dad is,

00:17:28.120 I don't think he would

00:17:28.840 have really made a difference.

00:17:31.700 Just being honest.

00:17:33.040 You know what?

00:17:33.480 What I get from this

00:17:34.840 is just even listening to you

00:17:36.300 and I feel for you

00:17:38.080 in a way,

00:17:38.640 but I feel for your stepdad

00:17:39.780 because just listen,

00:17:40.440 imagine your stepdad

00:17:41.520 hears this.

00:17:42.640 He's stepped in,

00:17:43.560 he's done as best he can,

00:17:45.320 does all of these things,

00:17:46.400 but yet you still just feel

00:17:47.440 like for some reason

00:17:48.260 that I just don't belong,

00:17:49.360 even though he's tried

00:17:50.080 to make you belong.

00:17:51.100 Obviously he's,

00:17:51.920 obviously he's...

00:17:52.200 I feel like nobody

00:17:52.900 would understand

00:17:53.540 unless they're in that situation.

00:17:54.520 No, no, no,

00:17:55.240 but I...

00:17:55.880 No, I hear you.

00:17:56.680 I hear you.

00:17:57.100 I'm just saying like

00:17:57.900 it probably would hurt him

00:17:59.780 and it's nothing new

00:18:00.600 that I haven't

00:18:01.620 not said to him before.

00:18:02.880 But once again,

00:18:03.820 when I talk about

00:18:04.620 not wanting to be a stepdad,

00:18:06.320 look at what you just gave me.

00:18:07.760 You gave me,

00:18:08.540 I can bring you up,

00:18:09.480 I can come in,

00:18:10.120 I can do all these things,

00:18:11.240 but you're still not

00:18:12.380 going to see me as your dad.

00:18:13.560 But I don't know

00:18:14.000 if it would have made a difference

00:18:14.960 if I had a relationship

00:18:16.080 with my dad too,

00:18:17.240 if that makes any sense.

00:18:18.300 Yeah, I hear that.

00:18:18.980 But now we don't know about that.

00:18:20.560 But the one thing we do know,

00:18:22.100 you did have a man,

00:18:22.980 father figure in your life

00:18:23.900 and he was constant

00:18:24.760 and he was there.

00:18:25.700 And he taught me a lot.

00:18:26.720 And he taught you a lot.

00:18:27.900 But you still have a feeling of...

00:18:30.040 This is not...

00:18:30.680 It's an incomplete feeling.

00:18:32.420 And this is why I say

00:18:33.360 it's important for us

00:18:34.420 to vet the relationships

00:18:35.460 and we stay

00:18:36.180 and keep our families together.

00:18:37.760 Because one of the biggest things

00:18:39.200 that I've seen

00:18:39.800 is that my mum and dad

00:18:40.740 have been together

00:18:41.200 through freaking thing.

00:18:42.540 And it's been the basis

00:18:43.740 of how I see my life

00:18:45.180 and relationships.

00:18:45.800 And when women

00:18:46.880 don't prescribe to that,

00:18:47.920 I automatically know

00:18:48.720 this is not someone

00:18:49.360 I want to be with

00:18:50.140 because of what

00:18:50.740 I've been brought up to.

00:18:51.740 Well, let me not make it

00:18:52.660 seem like that.

00:18:54.100 No, I'm not...

00:18:54.480 Because I do want to make sure

00:18:56.020 that we're showing appreciation

00:18:57.140 for somebody that

00:18:58.100 actually did make a difference

00:18:59.280 in my life.

00:18:59.720 Because if he wasn't in my life,

00:19:00.800 I don't know

00:19:01.300 who I would actually be today.

00:19:02.620 I'm not going to make it

00:19:03.600 seem like that

00:19:04.380 because the conversations

00:19:05.820 that I've had,

00:19:06.540 the things that he's taught me,

00:19:07.600 the books that he's told me

00:19:08.540 to read,

00:19:09.180 me making music

00:19:10.240 and wanting to do more

00:19:11.900 about my artistry,

00:19:13.280 that was down to him.

00:19:14.700 But the inside feeling,

00:19:16.540 I don't know how to explain it.

00:19:18.380 It's an incomplete feeling

00:19:19.780 of knowing that

00:19:20.660 my dad didn't want,

00:19:22.220 my dad didn't want

00:19:23.040 nothing to do with me.

00:19:23.920 But one of the things

00:19:25.060 that I think is important to it

00:19:26.360 is that people always talk

00:19:27.500 about how easy

00:19:28.220 it's to go get another man

00:19:29.320 to just step in.

00:19:30.580 Like, but they don't speak

00:19:31.740 to the children

00:19:32.300 that have stepped,

00:19:33.020 that have actually grown up

00:19:33.880 in these things

00:19:34.380 where they never had

00:19:35.480 their dad or,

00:19:36.620 and a lot of times

00:19:37.800 I've spoken to a lot

00:19:38.600 of my friends

00:19:39.120 and I see all the hurt

00:19:40.740 and all the trauma

00:19:41.340 that's been caused

00:19:42.440 from just women saying,

00:19:43.640 oh yeah,

00:19:43.860 I'll pick a next man

00:19:44.460 or your dad can't be in there.

00:19:45.600 Like people need to,

00:19:46.620 there's something about identity

00:19:47.720 and the reason I have

00:19:49.280 such a strong sense

00:19:50.000 of identity

00:19:50.480 is because I have my history,

00:19:52.240 my roots back through my village.

00:19:53.520 I go back there,

00:19:54.180 I know my grandfather,

00:19:55.280 I know all the history

00:19:56.180 back through the walls

00:19:56.960 and that puts you

00:19:58.020 a sense of identity

00:19:59.160 and so when you step

00:19:59.940 into the world

00:20:00.580 and then you meet

00:20:01.540 all these people

00:20:02.080 that just have all these

00:20:02.920 broken ideas

00:20:04.400 of how things should be,

00:20:05.640 it makes it sound

00:20:06.740 like you're some anomaly

00:20:07.640 or some crazy person

00:20:08.780 but you're actually not.

00:20:10.180 No, I'm not

00:20:10.820 but I think it's also

00:20:12.060 as much as we all

00:20:13.740 want things to be

00:20:14.700 a type of way

00:20:15.400 and that goes with culture

00:20:16.680 as well as religion,

00:20:18.060 I'm not going to try

00:20:19.040 and act like my life

00:20:19.920 was a complete blowover

00:20:21.200 because I had a stepfather

00:20:22.440 in my life

00:20:22.920 and I didn't have

00:20:23.560 my dad in my life.

00:20:24.380 Like I'm still grateful

00:20:25.280 for everything that I've got

00:20:26.560 because I'm still here.

00:20:28.520 I could have drank the,

00:20:30.660 like I could have done

00:20:31.420 a lot ages ago

00:20:32.680 but that's not the case.

00:20:34.000 I feel like

00:20:34.540 there's still a normality

00:20:35.700 when it comes to

00:20:36.400 blended families.

00:20:37.340 I feel like

00:20:37.840 it might not necessarily

00:20:39.580 have to be a dad,

00:20:40.240 it could be a woman

00:20:41.440 inside the picture too.

00:20:43.160 Do you think we should

00:20:44.000 make blended families

00:20:45.020 normal or try to have

00:20:46.200 women better vet

00:20:47.420 the men they sleep with

00:20:48.400 and a family stay together?

00:20:49.860 I feel like both

00:20:51.040 because you do need to know

00:20:51.940 who you're sleeping with

00:20:52.940 but at the same time

00:20:53.800 if you've like

00:20:54.520 gone and done

00:20:55.440 what you've did,

00:20:56.260 how do we move forward?

00:20:57.440 Are we just going to

00:20:57.960 keep looking back at

00:20:58.920 like where it all went wrong?

00:21:00.740 And some people

00:21:01.340 they notice afterwards

00:21:03.400 having kids.

00:21:04.160 I know like

00:21:05.280 obviously

00:21:05.920 what are the women

00:21:07.140 with children going to do?

00:21:08.460 What else can they do

00:21:09.560 other than try to move forward?

00:21:10.840 But I'm saying

00:21:11.280 for the next generation,

00:21:13.100 you don't think it's better

00:21:14.080 to push them

00:21:14.820 to keep families together?

00:21:16.340 Yeah.

00:21:16.600 And I think that's

00:21:17.140 the only point

00:21:17.680 he's trying to make.

00:21:18.380 It's not to diminish

00:21:20.240 what, like

00:21:20.900 he sounds like a great man.

00:21:22.500 Like it's not to diminish

00:21:23.340 anything he did.

00:21:24.160 I would say that

00:21:24.820 for myself's sake.

00:21:25.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:26.600 It's just for like

00:21:27.560 the next generation

00:21:28.440 we should probably push

00:21:29.420 for families to stay together.

00:21:31.180 And as like

00:21:31.900 the next generation

00:21:32.760 or looking at it

00:21:33.560 in a way where

00:21:34.080 I've seen my mum

00:21:35.020 be in blended families

00:21:36.340 and like

00:21:37.000 how it worked out for her

00:21:38.260 not in that way

00:21:39.000 but I personally

00:21:40.180 would like to be

00:21:41.100 in a family where

00:21:42.200 this is my man,

00:21:43.960 this is my kids,

00:21:45.420 this is us

00:21:46.080 us as a family.

00:21:47.020 It's not like

00:21:47.700 divorce would never

00:21:48.340 be an option.

00:21:49.320 So I'm like

00:21:50.760 the next example I guess.

00:21:52.440 Do you feel like

00:21:53.200 the men that you pick

00:21:54.480 would make good husbands

00:21:56.140 and fathers?

00:21:57.080 The ones I've done previously?

00:21:58.360 No.

00:21:59.520 The one I'm speaking to now?

00:22:01.420 Yes.

00:22:01.660 Yeah, but

00:22:02.180 what about

00:22:03.280 actually I don't want

00:22:04.460 to get him in trouble.

00:22:05.780 I don't want to say it.

00:22:06.900 No, go ahead.

00:22:07.460 I speak Freedy.

00:22:08.900 Like what

00:22:09.340 do you agree?

00:22:10.960 He'd make a good husband

00:22:11.800 good father?

00:22:15.680 Do you even remember

00:22:16.580 his name?

00:22:19.280 Yeah, that's what

00:22:20.040 I'm saying.

00:22:20.640 Yeah, you guys

00:22:21.540 are asking me

00:22:22.120 if this guy...

00:22:22.780 Yeah, and I said

00:22:23.640 I don't want to get you

00:22:24.400 in trouble

00:22:24.780 and then you said

00:22:25.360 speak Freely.

00:22:26.800 Sorry,

00:22:27.440 missed the question

00:22:28.320 completely.

00:22:30.240 Obviously,

00:22:31.040 of what I've heard

00:22:32.180 of this guy,

00:22:32.760 he's a good guy.

00:22:33.680 He works.

00:22:34.120 He does his thing

00:22:34.820 but obviously

00:22:35.420 I haven't met him

00:22:37.480 personally.

00:22:38.080 He doesn't live

00:22:38.560 in this country,

00:22:39.200 so it's like

00:22:40.020 another drops mic

00:22:40.760 situation.

00:22:41.320 How many drop

00:22:46.320 the mic situation

00:22:47.080 do you have in one episode?

00:22:48.060 Wait, wait, wait.

00:22:49.000 Wait for a treat, huh?

00:22:50.180 Okay, and I just,

00:22:51.580 you know,

00:22:51.720 you don't have to answer

00:22:52.520 if I get to you.

00:22:53.320 I'm just going to ask you,

00:22:54.620 how did you meet him?

00:22:56.320 It's a long story.

00:22:57.280 I met him here.

00:22:58.640 I met him here

00:22:59.140 if that makes...

00:22:59.920 You met him like out

00:23:01.100 or online?

00:23:02.380 Out.

00:23:02.860 Out,

00:23:03.220 and so you met him

00:23:03.920 and then he moved?

00:23:05.820 No.

00:23:06.740 He was on holiday.

00:23:07.640 Yeah.

00:23:08.160 Oh, he was on holiday.

00:23:10.620 And where is he now?

00:23:13.260 What country?

00:23:14.300 I'm not going to stay there.

00:23:16.920 Is it in Europe

00:23:17.740 or is it like far, far?

00:23:19.160 Africa, Western, Caribbean.

00:23:20.360 It's not in London.

00:23:21.580 No, it's not in the United Kingdom.

00:23:23.380 Is it short haul

00:23:24.020 or long haul?

00:23:24.740 Oh, short...

00:23:25.740 Long haul.

00:23:26.860 Man said long haul.

00:23:27.700 How you get on my list?

00:23:28.900 You can stay in the country

00:23:29.800 without saying where.

00:23:30.940 Okay, United States.

00:23:32.820 Bumble.

00:23:35.240 Americans will get you.

00:23:37.340 It's an accent.

00:23:39.140 It's not.

00:23:39.920 It's him.

00:23:41.540 This is what I said

00:23:42.400 at the beginning.

00:23:43.060 I have my thoughts

00:23:43.860 and obviously

00:23:44.360 I can't say too much more

00:23:46.460 on the topic.

00:23:47.320 Yeah, you can't.

00:23:48.060 Listen, I have to talk about yours.

00:23:49.240 The only reason I say

00:23:49.720 it's just interesting

00:23:50.540 because a lot of times,

00:23:51.280 and it's not just you,

00:23:52.100 it's really common,

00:23:52.920 but like it's a lot of times

00:23:54.000 as women,

00:23:54.880 we say we want one thing

00:23:56.080 but our actions

00:23:56.960 dictate that we don't

00:23:58.840 because it's like even

00:24:00.140 how would that work out

00:24:01.280 if you really want a family?

00:24:03.140 I would have to move.

00:24:04.140 I would want to move.

00:24:05.160 I've never looked at my life

00:24:06.480 like I'm going to stay here

00:24:07.820 for the rest of my life

00:24:08.580 to be honest with you.

00:24:09.480 I've always found interest

00:24:10.580 with people

00:24:11.000 that aren't from here.

00:24:13.240 Well,

00:24:14.180 it just doesn't seem

00:24:16.360 like a super good prospect

00:24:17.880 from the outside looking in.

00:24:19.740 Maybe for some.

00:24:20.420 Look,

00:24:21.220 this is what I mean about

00:24:22.180 Okay,

00:24:22.400 wait,

00:24:22.580 can I just say this?

00:24:24.620 My best friend

00:24:25.500 is with somebody

00:24:27.620 that is not from this country

00:24:28.760 and I promise you

00:24:30.180 it's going exactly

00:24:32.180 the way that you thought

00:24:33.520 it was never going to go.

00:24:34.600 Does she have a ring?

00:24:37.720 We can't disclose that right now.

00:24:39.320 We can't disclose that.

00:24:40.080 That's how we judge results

00:24:41.080 if she hasn't got a ring.

00:24:41.660 No,

00:24:42.120 she's going to get a ring.

00:24:43.100 But I just think

00:24:48.320 a lot of times

00:24:48.880 like as women

00:24:49.340 we live in

00:24:50.040 and possibilities

00:24:51.360 instead of probabilities.

00:24:52.980 I'm here.

00:24:53.480 So it's like

00:24:54.080 it's possible.

00:24:54.980 It's definitely happening.

00:24:55.900 The reason why

00:24:56.360 they can't say it

00:24:56.980 is because she's probably

00:24:57.720 No,

00:24:58.620 no,

00:24:59.060 no,

00:24:59.280 no.

00:24:59.500 I'm talking about

00:25:00.540 I'm saying like

00:25:02.480 just because you know

00:25:03.320 one person

00:25:03.780 it doesn't seem probable.

00:25:05.440 It's possible

00:25:06.040 but it doesn't seem probable.

00:25:07.880 Okay,

00:25:08.320 what I'm going to say

00:25:09.020 here is

00:25:10.000 see,

00:25:11.940 this is the bit

00:25:12.440 where we're talking about

00:25:13.200 the decisions that women make

00:25:14.360 and

00:25:14.940 you're 28

00:25:17.940 you're about

00:25:18.940 you are

00:25:19.740 you see that sign

00:25:20.980 that says there

00:25:21.580 Thane Mitchell

00:25:22.060 the wall is undefeated.

00:25:23.820 You are at the wall now.

00:25:24.860 Do you know what the wall

00:25:25.380 do you know what the wall is?

00:25:26.760 No,

00:25:27.040 please tell me.

00:25:27.660 Can you explain to her

00:25:28.340 the wall please?

00:25:30.320 There we go.

00:25:32.160 Yeah,

00:25:32.600 the wall is basically

00:25:33.500 the part where

00:25:34.560 I would say roughly

00:25:35.820 around age

00:25:36.640 when a woman reaches

00:25:37.320 age 30

00:25:37.920 and her looks

00:25:39.280 28 is about the start

00:25:40.500 of it.

00:25:40.700 Yeah,

00:25:40.760 it's about the start of it.

00:25:42.100 Yeah.

00:25:42.440 But I think 30

00:25:43.540 is a typical benchmark

00:25:44.480 and that's when

00:25:45.520 her looks start

00:25:46.120 to go downhill.

00:25:47.460 Her ability

00:25:48.300 to attract men

00:25:49.500 or the same standard

00:25:50.620 of men that she did

00:25:51.360 when she was in her prime

00:25:52.540 which is usually

00:25:53.180 sort of late teens

00:25:53.940 to mid-20s

00:25:54.780 starts to shrink

00:25:56.120 and at that point

00:25:57.680 her dating pool

00:25:58.660 obviously starts

00:25:59.340 to shrink as well.

00:26:01.160 And really

00:26:01.920 the goal

00:26:02.500 for a lot of women

00:26:03.300 is to bag

00:26:04.720 the guy

00:26:05.360 that

00:26:06.640 she wants

00:26:07.960 when she's in her prime.

00:26:09.620 So I would say

00:26:10.440 that at the age

00:26:11.040 of 28

00:26:11.840 you're pretty much

00:26:13.080 at that upper limit

00:26:14.100 towards the end

00:26:14.880 of your best period

00:26:15.720 to be able to get

00:26:16.400 the guy that you want.

00:26:18.120 Because what happens

00:26:18.940 with a lot of women

00:26:19.560 right

00:26:19.860 is during their prime

00:26:21.600 they'll have a certain

00:26:22.260 standard of guy

00:26:22.980 and that's what

00:26:23.440 they're used to.

00:26:24.580 Once they hit the wall

00:26:25.540 they still

00:26:26.240 because you know

00:26:26.880 it's very hard

00:26:27.380 for them to go down

00:26:28.060 once they've had a guy

00:26:28.840 that meets a certain

00:26:29.580 type of criteria

00:26:30.360 right.

00:26:31.560 So they end up

00:26:32.500 in this perpetual cycle

00:26:33.560 once they've hit the wall

00:26:34.520 where they still have

00:26:35.380 these high standards

00:26:36.120 but they can't get

00:26:36.880 that guy anymore.

00:26:37.580 So yeah

00:26:38.460 the aim of the game

00:26:39.200 is really to try

00:26:39.940 and bag that guy

00:26:41.100 and commitment

00:26:41.800 long term commitment

00:26:42.760 from that guy

00:26:43.460 before they hit the wall.

00:26:45.060 So I think

00:26:45.440 what this guy

00:26:46.840 is basically saying

00:26:47.640 is that

00:26:48.180 you haven't really

00:26:49.580 got much time

00:26:50.400 and

00:26:51.220 do you really

00:26:52.240 want to be

00:26:52.740 using the

00:26:53.940 latter stages

00:26:55.860 of your prime

00:26:56.560 on basically

00:26:57.460 a long shot?

00:26:58.920 Yeah I'll be winning.

00:27:00.580 So

00:27:01.060 I just have some stuff

00:27:03.140 that I've written

00:27:03.680 about the wall.

00:27:04.500 Our primary agency

00:27:05.520 is our sexuality

00:27:06.820 and how good we look.

00:27:08.580 SMV is

00:27:09.280 a desirability

00:27:10.240 to the opposite sex.

00:27:11.980 18

00:27:12.220 we

00:27:12.680 between

00:27:14.040 the wall

00:27:14.780 is between

00:27:15.280 the ages of

00:27:15.840 18 and 28

00:27:16.860 or

00:27:17.200 our primary agency

00:27:18.560 is between

00:27:19.040 the ages of

00:27:19.620 18 and 28

00:27:20.520 when we live

00:27:21.080 to be 90.

00:27:22.680 Men

00:27:23.120 between the ages

00:27:23.800 of 20 and 70

00:27:24.880 rate 22

00:27:25.680 23 and 24 year olds

00:27:27.440 as the most attractive.

00:27:28.760 It's not an age

00:27:29.680 but a mindset.

00:27:30.560 It is the subconscious

00:27:31.380 acknowledgement

00:27:32.020 that she cannot compete

00:27:33.320 in the same way

00:27:34.040 she did when she was younger.

00:27:35.520 Yeah so

00:27:37.760 the reason I want

00:27:38.340 them to explain it to you

00:27:39.300 because I want you

00:27:39.700 to understand that

00:27:40.540 if you are 28

00:27:41.800 and you're without

00:27:42.700 you don't have any children

00:27:43.800 and I'm trying to make

00:27:44.560 you understand

00:27:44.900 right now

00:27:45.640 that makes you

00:27:46.300 high over here

00:27:47.440 you know what I'm saying

00:27:47.820 we are respecting that

00:27:48.860 you don't have any children

00:27:49.580 so remember what we said

00:27:50.620 we treat you as a virgin

00:27:51.780 so if a woman

00:27:52.720 hasn't got any children

00:27:53.700 we don't want our body count

00:27:54.900 she's good to go.

00:27:56.360 For you to be

00:27:57.240 to waste the next

00:27:58.480 year or two years

00:27:59.800 and push you potentially

00:28:00.720 to 29, 30

00:28:01.880 for a guy that lives

00:28:03.100 in the USA

00:28:03.660 when you already know

00:28:04.920 geriatric pregnancy starts

00:28:06.240 and this whole thing

00:28:07.040 about freezing eggs

00:28:10.700 and IVF

00:28:11.480 I know people

00:28:12.440 that have done IVF

00:28:13.160 have spent over 50 grand

00:28:14.220 in IVF

00:28:14.900 and it still didn't work.

00:28:16.780 I have family members

00:28:17.720 that have spent a lot of money

00:28:18.600 and it didn't work

00:28:19.460 in the end

00:28:19.860 God had to

00:28:20.460 you know what I mean

00:28:21.360 God had to bust them.

00:28:23.280 You're not a Kardashian

00:28:24.360 so you won't be able

00:28:25.480 to just freeze your eggs

00:28:26.260 so a lot of the options

00:28:27.980 that women think they have

00:28:28.980 they're not reserved for them

00:28:30.040 they're reserved for

00:28:30.860 for people that have

00:28:31.820 a lot of money

00:28:32.320 that can do these things

00:28:33.100 and on top of that

00:28:34.080 these things don't guarantee

00:28:35.080 any results

00:28:36.240 so I think

00:28:37.180 for you to be speaking

00:28:38.880 to someone

00:28:39.500 potentially that

00:28:40.420 and stop you from

00:28:41.840 interacting with anyone else

00:28:43.600 and they're in America

00:28:44.400 I just

00:28:44.920 unless a man is telling you

00:28:47.320 and he's literally

00:28:48.640 putting money

00:28:49.360 into your account

00:28:49.940 and saying

00:28:50.340 I'm setting up a life

00:28:51.460 for you to come

00:28:52.200 I suggest you start

00:28:53.760 looking for different options.

00:28:54.680 I'm being real with you

00:28:56.400 so because

00:28:57.080 because

00:28:57.920 because if I was your brother

00:28:59.760 there's no way

00:29:00.720 I'm going to be like

00:29:01.260 so what you're holding out

00:29:02.420 for this guy over

00:29:03.020 no my sister

00:29:04.140 this is what we need to do

00:29:05.120 and I don't want to see you

00:29:07.140 get to 30

00:29:08.140 and then you're out in

00:29:09.940 we are festival

00:29:10.660 looking for man

00:29:11.360 to get me

00:29:12.380 I don't

00:29:13.520 it don't make sense

00:29:14.840 no

00:29:15.460 no because

00:29:16.440 no because

00:29:17.320 I think you're a good case

00:29:18.320 I think you're a good case study

00:29:19.620 I think you're a woman

00:29:20.340 sorry

00:29:21.280 no

00:29:21.640 I think you're a woman

00:29:23.000 that you said you know

00:29:23.760 for 10 years

00:29:24.340 you've been out of the game

00:29:25.240 necessarily

00:29:25.720 you know

00:29:27.160 when we've spoken to

00:29:27.960 what you want

00:29:28.460 you want a complete family unit

00:29:30.180 probably based on

00:29:31.020 some of the things

00:29:31.520 that you have experienced

00:29:32.480 you're 28

00:29:33.440 you don't have any child

00:29:34.800 like and you know

00:29:35.640 you had therapy

00:29:37.480 so you've understood

00:29:38.400 some of the things

00:29:38.900 you've gone through

00:29:39.360 you're a candidate now

00:29:40.860 for a good man

00:29:41.960 but you need to listen

00:29:42.960 to some of the things

00:29:43.600 that I've said

00:29:44.040 so when this good man comes

00:29:45.220 you don't scare him away

00:29:46.460 with saying stuff like

00:29:47.180 I won't listen to you

00:29:48.100 you know what I mean

00:29:48.800 I never said that

00:29:49.580 no but what I'm trying

00:29:50.680 to say to you is

00:29:51.360 this whole

00:29:51.840 I feel like if you

00:29:52.200 if you explained it

00:29:53.420 the way that you did

00:29:54.380 afterwards

00:29:54.920 about like how men

00:29:56.520 would feel when it comes

00:29:57.560 to women going out

00:29:58.740 to the club

00:29:59.060 like you made it seem

00:29:59.940 a little bit more different

00:30:00.940 babe I gotta give it to you

00:30:02.320 like that

00:30:02.640 I know but I didn't

00:30:03.620 I didn't

00:30:04.100 I personally wasn't looking

00:30:05.700 at it the way that

00:30:06.380 you explained it

00:30:07.280 like you

00:30:07.860 he said it in more

00:30:09.300 in a secure way

00:30:10.220 like it made it seem

00:30:11.200 a little bit more

00:30:11.760 like okay I can understand

00:30:12.660 your point of view

00:30:13.360 before it was just like

00:30:14.720 blunt like

00:30:15.320 if I said you can't go

00:30:16.640 you can't go

00:30:17.260 like oh well

00:30:18.780 I don't know

00:30:19.900 you're talking to you

00:30:21.120 I didn't say it like that

00:30:23.300 I didn't say it like that

00:30:23.720 no but it came across

00:30:24.640 that way to me

00:30:25.520 well if you know

00:30:27.200 for the modern women

00:30:28.600 out there

00:30:29.040 that want to learn

00:30:29.680 to be wives

00:30:30.300 we're opening a wife school

00:30:31.680 we're gonna bring in wives

00:30:34.100 from all over

00:30:34.900 to teach modern women

00:30:36.460 how to cook

00:30:37.340 clean

00:30:38.020 oh no

00:30:38.840 ballroom dancing

00:30:40.620 and shit

00:30:41.200 why cooking I clean

00:30:42.980 can I ask you a question

00:30:44.020 though yeah

00:30:44.440 so you got this guy

00:30:45.740 in America right

00:30:46.580 let's say you were

00:30:47.760 to be out wherever

00:30:48.480 and you met a guy

00:30:49.200 that was you know

00:30:50.260 ticked all your boxes

00:30:51.300 and he was serious

00:30:52.340 about trying to get

00:30:53.200 to know you

00:30:53.720 would you say no to him

00:30:55.460 for the guy that's in America

00:30:56.200 I've gone through that

00:30:57.220 and I've come right back

00:30:59.220 to square one

00:31:00.020 explain

00:31:00.960 I've done that

00:31:01.680 so somebody that I

00:31:03.060 saw as a potential

00:31:04.620 saw me as a potential

00:31:05.720 wanted to move forward

00:31:06.860 I don't know what happened

00:31:09.120 but it didn't go the way

00:31:10.740 I wanted it to go to

00:31:12.680 or the way that he said

00:31:13.800 it was going to go to

00:31:14.880 so I just left it

00:31:15.900 for what it was

00:31:16.700 and then I rekindled

00:31:18.360 what I have now

00:31:19.140 going on right now

00:31:20.300 so

00:31:20.520 was he a bad boy

00:31:21.280 what the guy that

00:31:22.580 I used to talk to

00:31:23.560 yeah the one

00:31:24.320 the one over here

00:31:25.340 no he was a good boy

00:31:26.460 he was

00:31:29.340 he was actually

00:31:30.000 a good boy

00:31:30.460 but I told her

00:31:31.600 already

00:31:31.840 with this situation

00:31:33.000 that she has

00:31:33.560 over there

00:31:34.000 I told her

00:31:34.480 wait

00:31:36.080 without waiting

00:31:37.580 if that's what

00:31:39.040 you're going to do

00:31:39.540 then that's what

00:31:40.360 you're going to do

00:31:40.880 but don't expect

00:31:42.460 yeah

00:31:43.240 see I want better

00:31:44.500 results for men

00:31:45.540 I'm a man

00:31:45.980 so I want better

00:31:46.520 results for us

00:31:47.160 but I want better

00:31:47.860 results for women

00:31:48.540 so this thing

00:31:49.420 when I said to you

00:31:50.100 about yo

00:31:50.560 we're champion for women

00:31:51.540 like it sounds mad

00:31:52.560 because men haven't

00:31:53.280 spoken like this

00:31:54.040 but we have to get

00:31:55.420 the backlash

00:31:55.900 and the corn for it

00:31:56.740 we have to get

00:31:57.460 people chopping us up

00:31:58.300 and making edits

00:31:58.960 and trying to make it

00:31:59.940 change the narrative

00:32:00.880 we have to get this

00:32:01.740 we have to get our

00:32:02.320 colleagues

00:32:02.700 that said oh my god

00:32:03.580 I see oh your views

00:32:04.800 are so misogynist

00:32:05.460 we have to get

00:32:06.100 all of this

00:32:06.700 but the reason we get

00:32:07.920 this because it's

00:32:08.600 that vitally important

00:32:09.640 for us to get

00:32:10.120 this message across

00:32:10.860 there's so many men

00:32:12.060 that don't have a voice

00:32:13.380 there's so many men

00:32:14.060 that are scared to speak

00:32:15.000 and more importantly

00:32:16.140 women are scared to speak

00:32:17.460 so since I've come on

00:32:18.420 this my third time

00:32:19.080 I've been on here

00:32:19.680 I did not think

00:32:20.620 it would cause

00:32:21.060 as many ruffles

00:32:21.660 as it has right

00:32:22.440 but I understand why

00:32:23.680 but what we need

00:32:24.520 I get so many women

00:32:25.640 in my DMs

00:32:26.460 that call me

00:32:27.360 that message me

00:32:28.080 that's even a few

00:32:29.040 in the comments

00:32:29.560 that support what we're doing

00:32:31.140 but the problem

00:32:31.900 is there's a minority

00:32:32.900 of

00:32:33.580 women that are speaking

00:32:34.400 for the majority

00:32:35.020 and this minority

00:32:35.720 is loud

00:32:36.520 and they are rude

00:32:37.700 and they are crude

00:32:38.500 and they are now

00:32:40.060 their voice is representing

00:32:41.040 the larger

00:32:41.500 their voice is representing

00:32:43.420 for the majority right

00:32:44.260 so when we speak

00:32:46.260 and then it doesn't sound

00:32:47.560 in the beginning

00:32:48.040 we maybe bump our heads

00:32:49.020 a little bit

00:32:49.560 but we actually come to a place

00:32:50.760 of where you understand

00:32:51.440 that actually you know what

00:32:52.240 I didn't think of it like this

00:32:53.620 my man's got a point

00:32:54.500 that's the point

00:32:55.300 we need women to jump by us

00:32:57.020 and be like right

00:32:57.620 okay cool

00:32:58.220 these guys are actually trying

00:32:59.260 to help people get better results

00:33:01.020 because by you understanding now

00:33:03.100 automatically

00:33:04.240 I know

00:33:05.040 you're going to get better results

00:33:06.140 you're going to look at yourself

00:33:06.980 you're going to look at your time

00:33:07.800 you're going to think to yourself

00:33:08.580 it's all how you say it too

00:33:10.420 because like

00:33:11.160 like I said

00:33:12.080 the beginning

00:33:13.180 from where we was

00:33:14.260 that's not what you sounded like

00:33:15.740 to where we are right now

00:33:16.860 I feel like if you sit down

00:33:18.160 and talk to me

00:33:18.900 I will listen

00:33:19.840 if I feel like you're demanding me

00:33:21.320 and I don't understand

00:33:22.040 what you're saying to me

00:33:23.200 I'm going to be a bit like

00:33:24.680 who are you talking to

00:33:25.920 you know

00:33:27.260 no but it was a hypothetical situation

00:33:28.940 though wasn't it

00:33:29.380 because it came down to your friendship

00:33:30.940 with your friend there

00:33:33.340 and you were kind of just like

00:33:34.260 no I wouldn't listen

00:33:35.780 so I guess we were just given

00:33:37.540 how a man would perceive that

00:33:39.660 you know what I mean

00:33:40.480 I also think you're asking

00:33:41.620 men to communicate like women

00:33:43.320 and so

00:33:44.500 and so

00:33:44.980 you're asking

00:33:45.600 men are very blunt

00:33:46.480 and they're very direct

00:33:47.240 and they're not really

00:33:48.080 trying to think about your feelings

00:33:49.640 and be considered

00:33:50.380 unless they're more feminine

00:33:51.400 typically

00:33:51.980 within

00:33:52.460 and so

00:33:53.080 and so

00:33:53.700 when you say like

00:33:54.580 you need to communicate to me this way

00:33:56.120 you're basically saying

00:33:56.800 be more like a woman

00:33:57.760 I don't feel like I'm saying that

00:33:59.880 I don't think you mean to

00:34:01.300 no I don't feel like I'm saying that

00:34:03.260 I feel like

00:34:04.060 I don't think it's a problem

00:34:06.000 for anybody to be very

00:34:07.680 open

00:34:10.360 and explain

00:34:11.460 thoroughly

00:34:12.580 about what they're talking about

00:34:14.080 because

00:34:14.420 why is it that you say jump

00:34:16.360 I must

00:34:16.900 I must jump

00:34:17.880 because men don't have the time

00:34:19.620 to

00:34:20.260 explain every single decision

00:34:22.320 that they make

00:34:23.080 and so it's like exhausting to them

00:34:24.960 so if you

00:34:25.360 if he says hey

00:34:25.940 can you do this

00:34:26.520 and you say why

00:34:27.220 and then he has to have

00:34:28.240 a 10 minute conversation with you

00:34:29.620 for you to agree with it

00:34:30.560 and now

00:34:30.840 and now you'll do it

00:34:31.760 it's like that's exhausting

00:34:33.100 to a guy

00:34:33.760 they would rather just have a guy

00:34:35.020 a girl that just says

00:34:36.220 okay

00:34:37.040 it's because at that point

00:34:38.220 I'm not that girl

00:34:38.880 at that point

00:34:39.460 yeah that's what I mean

00:34:40.380 yeah it goes back to what we're saying

00:34:42.020 about a woman who

00:34:42.920 a girlfriend

00:34:43.720 a wife who won't listen

00:34:44.720 is really a big turn off to a guy

00:34:46.700 I feel like

00:34:47.520 and it's

00:34:47.880 and on a podcast

00:34:48.580 like it's cool

00:34:49.320 I mean it gives me content

00:34:50.560 it's cool

00:34:50.900 I'm not

00:34:51.280 I'm not complaining

00:34:52.000 but like in a day-to-day relationship

00:34:54.180 like that's exhausting to men

00:34:55.860 they don't

00:34:56.320 they don't

00:34:56.640 men don't like to sit around

00:34:57.620 and talk to us

00:34:58.400 I feel like I'll be the voice

00:35:00.300 for women that

00:35:01.100 can actually say

00:35:02.780 if you speak to me

00:35:04.140 where I understand

00:35:05.000 then I can listen

00:35:05.860 if you're demanding me

00:35:07.000 from somebody

00:35:07.660 who doesn't have

00:35:08.940 a father figure in her life

00:35:10.300 like that

00:35:10.760 you have to understand

00:35:11.700 how to treat certain women

00:35:12.720 not every woman's gonna be the same

00:35:14.120 and not every man

00:35:14.860 is gonna be the same

00:35:15.580 what outcomes are you looking for there?

00:35:17.460 what outcome am I looking for?

00:35:18.700 understanding

00:35:19.540 no but in terms of relationships

00:35:20.880 what are you looking for?

00:35:21.560 like do you want to be married?

00:35:22.500 do you want a long-term relationship?

00:35:23.440 I would love

00:35:23.840 I would like to be married

00:35:24.920 I'm not gonna pinpoint

00:35:25.920 and just say like

00:35:26.900 I'm gonna be married tomorrow

00:35:27.920 if it doesn't happen

00:35:28.660 it doesn't happen

00:35:29.220 but I feel like

00:35:30.080 my main source

00:35:32.020 or what I'm looking for

00:35:33.160 is true happiness and peace

00:35:34.740 irrespective of whether

00:35:36.920 that's a relationship

00:35:37.500 because the reason

00:35:37.920 in a relationship

00:35:38.660 so in a relationship

00:35:40.440 like you were saying

00:35:41.720 and I agree

00:35:42.480 men tend to be

00:35:43.800 the gatekeepers

00:35:44.420 and the decision makers

00:35:45.180 as to whether something

00:35:45.980 goes to a relationship

00:35:46.800 or a marriage

00:35:47.420 so if you're not behaving

00:35:49.020 so what you'll do

00:35:49.760 you'll set in a criteria

00:35:50.660 and say a guy has to explain

00:35:51.820 this to a certain way

00:35:52.620 but as far as relationships

00:35:54.600 and marriage is concerned

00:35:55.420 you're not in a position

00:35:56.240 to lay out that criteria

00:35:57.400 it's the guy that's laying out

00:35:58.620 the criteria

00:35:59.080 and saying listen

00:35:59.680 I expect my girlfriend

00:36:02.260 if she trusts me

00:36:03.100 and she wants to be with me

00:36:04.180 to listen to what I'm saying

00:36:05.180 it doesn't mean

00:36:05.660 she doesn't have a voice

00:36:06.620 but ultimately

00:36:07.640 if I have something to say

00:36:08.980 I can't

00:36:09.740 I haven't got time

00:36:10.260 to be drawing her a diagram

00:36:11.340 and giving all these

00:36:12.140 long-winded explanations

00:36:12.960 if she's not willing

00:36:13.600 to listen to me

00:36:14.360 she hasn't really selected me

00:36:16.200 as her man

00:36:16.700 and another thing

00:36:18.000 when you say

00:36:18.660 what are you looking for

00:36:19.800 relationships and marriage

00:36:20.980 it's not about happiness

00:36:21.900 it's about duty

00:36:23.060 and so when a guy

00:36:24.120 when a guy hears

00:36:25.360 and I'm just telling you

00:36:26.400 this is just from

00:36:26.960 a guy's point of view

00:36:27.800 when they hear

00:36:28.580 what do you want

00:36:29.320 out of a relationship

00:36:30.000 and they say happiness

00:36:30.920 that's a red flag

00:36:31.660 because your happiness

00:36:32.300 can come and go

00:36:33.140 and it's like

00:36:33.900 if you're not happy tomorrow

00:36:34.840 are you going to leave

00:36:35.560 and the number one thing

00:36:36.360 that men look for

00:36:37.040 is loyalty

00:36:37.640 and so if you're not

00:36:39.380 that says to a guy

00:36:40.860 I'll leave

00:36:41.660 if I'm not happy

00:36:42.640 and that

00:36:44.020 with all the risk

00:36:45.180 that men have to take today

00:36:46.880 in order to get married

00:36:48.540 it's like

00:36:49.420 you know

00:36:50.260 we're asking them to do this

00:36:51.400 but we give them

00:36:52.060 red flags along the way

00:36:53.300 and this is why

00:36:54.060 there's not a lot

00:36:55.040 of marriages going on

00:36:55.980 there's less marriages

00:36:56.920 in comparison

00:36:57.540 to our parents generation

00:36:58.840 feminism sorry

00:37:00.200 has given women

00:37:01.000 an unrealistic expectation

00:37:02.500 of what relationships

00:37:03.920 and marriage really are

00:37:05.280 you know

00:37:06.260 I genuinely believe that

00:37:07.640 and it's not

00:37:09.920 just you know

00:37:10.380 this is like very common

00:37:11.540 it's not just like

00:37:12.440 I do these shows

00:37:13.240 four times a week

00:37:14.100 so like a lot of these answers

00:37:15.340 I think a lot of answers

00:37:16.320 we have are like

00:37:17.140 kind of programmed

00:37:17.940 yeah

00:37:18.520 where we don't really

00:37:19.640 we don't really

00:37:20.200 you know that's what I mean

00:37:20.980 like we don't really

00:37:21.520 think about it

00:37:22.360 because like we're sold

00:37:24.040 this Disney fairy tale

00:37:25.200 from a young age

00:37:26.260 okay so on that topic

00:37:27.940 this is something that

00:37:29.440 I was having a conversation

00:37:30.560 with JD the other day

00:37:31.520 I said that

00:37:32.600 love has an expiry date

00:37:34.200 how do you guys feel

00:37:35.720 on that

00:37:36.720 oh I agree

00:37:37.580 a million percent

00:37:38.500 I think love is a young person's game

00:37:40.320 the average person

00:37:41.100 only falls in love

00:37:41.820 like three times

00:37:42.540 so you really don't have

00:37:43.380 that many shots at it

00:37:44.560 um

00:37:45.620 see

00:37:47.320 the type of love that

00:37:48.660 wait

00:37:50.060 how many loves are there

00:37:51.740 can you find it Pearl

00:37:52.820 there's Eros love

00:37:53.780 there's

00:37:54.320 there's like three separate

00:37:55.820 types of love

00:37:56.660 I don't know

00:37:57.120 yeah okay

00:37:57.580 I think yeah

00:37:58.160 because I don't want to

00:37:58.920 quote it wrong

00:37:59.540 but I know there's

00:38:00.800 there's different types of love

00:38:01.820 and I'm gonna tell you

00:38:02.620 the type of love

00:38:03.220 that we want

00:38:03.820 but essentially

00:38:04.940 any girl that I want

00:38:06.660 like

00:38:07.500 that I want a future with

00:38:08.900 I want to marry

00:38:09.780 I want to be my girlfriend

00:38:10.480 the type of love she has to have for me

00:38:11.600 is the type of love to have for my

00:38:12.640 for my brothers

00:38:13.220 and the reason I say this is

00:38:14.420 is

00:38:15.020 we can fight

00:38:16.640 we can go back

00:38:17.800 whatever

00:38:18.200 but at no point

00:38:19.180 is

00:38:19.820 are we ever gonna break the relationship up

00:38:21.920 between my brothers

00:38:23.280 and

00:38:24.120 some guys

00:38:25.760 you

00:38:26.000 you know you won't keep all friends

00:38:27.500 but for the day ones

00:38:28.400 you're always gonna fix it

00:38:29.400 even when you're mad

00:38:30.200 even when

00:38:30.640 this

00:38:31.000 like even if when you don't speak

00:38:32.380 something is gonna bring

00:38:33.300 the two of you to fix it

00:38:34.680 because you know

00:38:35.400 that's that deep love

00:38:36.380 when you let it go too far

00:38:38.160 you know when you let it go too far

00:38:40.320 between

00:38:40.740 and then you

00:38:41.640 and then you don't speak to someone

00:38:42.720 and maybe you buck up to them one time

00:38:44.220 then you maybe try to

00:38:45.120 you know let's go out again bro

00:38:46.440 and it's not the same love

00:38:47.760 that's what happens with relationships

00:38:49.060 it just takes one person not to give up

00:38:51.640 as soon as one person says

00:38:52.640 I'm gonna give up

00:38:53.700 that's it

00:38:54.340 it's all over

00:38:54.960 so I just

00:38:56.000 I need that type of love

00:38:57.400 that got all my bros

00:38:58.120 and my family

00:38:58.580 there's four types of love

00:39:00.040 eros

00:39:00.520 which is erotic

00:39:01.260 passionate love

00:39:02.280 um phila

00:39:02.980 which is love of friends

00:39:04.080 and equals

00:39:04.740 uh storage

00:39:06.360 um love of parents for children

00:39:08.740 and agape

00:39:09.360 the love of mankind

00:39:10.500 okay so yeah

00:39:11.780 so the

00:39:12.140 I was talking about this

00:39:13.060 it was a second one

00:39:13.840 the love of friends

00:39:14.440 is that the one I was talking about

00:39:15.880 love of um

00:39:17.040 love of friends and equals

00:39:18.880 it can be the love between lovers

00:39:20.400 when they've been together

00:39:21.200 for a long time

00:39:22.100 and are not so hot

00:39:23.040 and bothered anymore

00:39:23.840 it's called brotherly love

00:39:25.160 is the city of Philadelphia

00:39:26.740 the city of brotherly love

00:39:28.520 of course

00:39:29.040 it could be sisterly love

00:39:30.400 but it is the accepting

00:39:31.640 love of good friendship

00:39:33.280 that is the love

00:39:34.640 that is your

00:39:35.300 for good health

00:39:36.620 the love of

00:39:37.260 the touch of a loved one

00:39:38.600 the phila

00:39:39.060 like lowers blood pressure

00:39:40.360 yeah you get the idea

00:39:41.120 that's the love

00:39:41.720 and that's the love

00:39:42.640 all them other loves

00:39:43.420 are like not fake

00:39:44.400 but all them other loves

00:39:45.280 are based upon something

00:39:46.560 that phila love

00:39:47.280 is the one where it's your bros

00:39:48.420 and you're gonna

00:39:48.880 yeah you're not

00:39:50.140 it's never gonna break

00:39:51.220 and it's the

00:39:51.680 and the bond

00:39:52.320 and the love only gets stronger

00:39:53.680 it doesn't fade

00:39:54.860 and that's the

00:39:55.900 that's the love

00:39:56.600 that that relationship

00:39:57.640 that's the love

00:39:58.380 that I would want

00:39:59.040 but in this day and age

00:40:00.720 I was saying

00:40:01.660 when we had our conversation

00:40:02.800 I feel like

00:40:03.440 there's an expiry date on love

00:40:04.880 because it's like

00:40:05.680 you love me until when

00:40:06.780 until you fuck

00:40:08.160 I can do something

00:40:09.360 and then you'll just

00:40:10.400 give up on the love

00:40:11.200 and then that's it

00:40:11.820 the situation is done

00:40:12.780 you're now saying

00:40:14.080 that you're gonna move on

00:40:14.920 and start chatting

00:40:16.260 to other guys

00:40:16.820 just because

00:40:17.280 a situation happened

00:40:18.760 this is why

00:40:19.280 I don't know

00:40:19.820 if I could get married

00:40:20.600 because

00:40:21.380 it's like

00:40:22.060 I could do something

00:40:22.980 maybe do something

00:40:24.000 that you don't like

00:40:24.840 and then you're just gonna

00:40:25.560 stop loving me

00:40:26.280 because of that situation

00:40:27.500 so it's like

00:40:28.000 there's an expiry date

00:40:28.960 on love

00:40:29.400 you love me

00:40:30.280 until when

00:40:31.120 are you pressed?

00:40:33.020 no

00:40:33.420 what about the unconditional love?

00:40:35.460 why do you say

00:40:37.460 that are you pressed?

00:40:39.100 because

00:40:39.500 when me and Kyle

00:40:40.400 were speaking about this

00:40:41.540 I had to let him understand

00:40:42.960 that

00:40:43.600 to an extent

00:40:46.180 I understand

00:40:46.920 love has an expiry date

00:40:48.240 but it wouldn't have had

00:40:49.060 that expiry date

00:40:49.960 if he

00:40:50.720 didn't love me back

00:40:52.580 if he was

00:40:53.680 I thought this was all

00:40:54.860 over and done with

00:40:55.520 I was just saying it today

00:40:57.260 wait say

00:40:57.720 say if he what

00:40:58.660 say that again

00:40:59.300 it's just

00:41:00.280 a little bit of

00:41:01.420 pettiness

00:41:02.060 put it this way

00:41:02.960 I felt like

00:41:03.560 the reason why

00:41:04.440 while I was looking at it

00:41:06.240 like when we were

00:41:06.940 speaking about it

00:41:07.720 I wouldn't have had

00:41:08.480 an expiration date

00:41:09.600 for Kyle

00:41:10.140 if I felt chosen

00:41:11.520 okay sorry Pearl

00:41:13.040 this is the

00:41:13.980 Alpha Whittleson scenario

00:41:15.100 I'm picking up on it

00:41:16.480 like because

00:41:16.860 he can't be your friend

00:41:18.420 he can't be your friend

00:41:19.160 really?

00:41:20.560 no no

00:41:20.940 because

00:41:21.220 you're not over this

00:41:23.300 like it's

00:41:24.020 like even what you've

00:41:24.880 just said

00:41:25.340 I didn't even realise

00:41:26.840 we're about to go back

00:41:27.500 to you and him again

00:41:28.400 no we was having a healthy

00:41:29.520 no but it is healthy

00:41:30.740 but there's something

00:41:31.360 you just asked him

00:41:31.840 if he's pressed

00:41:32.340 you just asked him

00:41:32.980 if he's pressed

00:41:33.340 no because I was

00:41:34.140 wondering where is

00:41:34.720 this coming from

00:41:35.280 like we hadn't

00:41:35.660 we spoke about

00:41:36.280 okay well then

00:41:37.820 yeah

00:41:38.180 I'm everything

00:41:39.380 you guys say

00:41:40.160 no but see

00:41:41.920 what happened there

00:41:42.640 this is why

00:41:43.720 me as a man

00:41:44.540 I would not have him

00:41:46.080 as your friend

00:41:47.160 because already

00:41:47.800 you're thinking

00:41:48.380 back to memories

00:41:49.340 now of things

00:41:50.140 that you guys

00:41:50.540 this is too much

00:41:51.520 this is too close

00:41:52.280 and I'm not insecure

00:41:53.320 but I know a red flag

00:41:54.560 when I see it

00:41:55.240 yeah

00:41:55.660 and if I

00:41:56.480 and if I

00:41:57.600 I'm just gonna be honest

00:41:59.060 with you

00:41:59.340 because this is

00:41:59.860 education for you

00:42:01.100 yeah

00:42:01.360 when you meet

00:42:02.480 the guy that you like

00:42:03.600 bro you're gonna have to

00:42:04.840 don't even wait for her

00:42:05.760 to do it

00:42:06.100 you do a favour for her

00:42:07.720 and just step the hell out

00:42:08.780 I would do it

00:42:09.360 yeah

00:42:09.580 because

00:42:10.000 I've done it the last time

00:42:11.060 but then obviously

00:42:11.740 like

00:42:12.120 the brother was cool

00:42:13.700 he's from the ends

00:42:14.480 and it was like

00:42:15.020 there was no situation

00:42:16.140 and he knew me

00:42:17.580 from that

00:42:17.920 we have other friends

00:42:18.840 outside of that

00:42:19.520 so we've seen each other

00:42:20.340 but men lie

00:42:20.780 you know men lie

00:42:21.520 we lie

00:42:21.920 possibly

00:42:22.280 I don't like that girl

00:42:23.740 forget that girl

00:42:24.360 do you see

00:42:25.060 but if he came

00:42:27.020 and said something

00:42:27.480 or she said something

00:42:28.140 then I would have

00:42:28.900 taken a step back

00:42:29.560 easily

00:42:29.920 but one question

00:42:30.920 if he steps away

00:42:32.840 that still doesn't

00:42:34.620 deal with the issue

00:42:35.580 of what if the boyfriend

00:42:37.940 said to her

00:42:38.640 I don't know

00:42:39.740 I feel comfortable

00:42:40.360 with this friendship

00:42:41.060 and she wouldn't

00:42:42.420 listen to what he's saying

00:42:43.520 you still got that issue

00:42:44.640 and if a girlfriend

00:42:45.640 won't listen to one thing

00:42:46.760 there's probably gonna be

00:42:48.040 something later down the line

00:42:48.980 where he says

00:42:49.440 babes I'm not happy with this

00:42:50.480 and she goes

00:42:50.940 well nah

00:42:52.620 I don't care

00:42:54.100 and like

00:42:57.320 and this is what

00:42:57.920 I was trying to say

00:42:58.400 to you before

00:42:58.980 because

00:42:59.980 when you first heard it

00:43:02.320 it sounded like

00:43:02.840 controlling

00:43:03.260 it sounded like

00:43:03.740 oh you guys are insecure

00:43:04.720 oh da da da da

00:43:05.580 but when you actually

00:43:07.180 let it play

00:43:08.300 and you speak about it

00:43:09.780 even you

00:43:10.400 you probably might

00:43:11.140 you know

00:43:11.640 some things get brought up

00:43:13.160 you don't even realise

00:43:14.060 you get annoyed by something

00:43:15.120 like oh you're capping

00:43:16.120 no that's not what

00:43:17.240 you know what I mean

00:43:17.760 but you shouldn't even care

00:43:19.000 what he's capping about

00:43:19.880 you shouldn't care about

00:43:20.620 no pettiness

00:43:21.140 you should

00:43:21.520 you should just be like

00:43:22.720 but because you've got history

00:43:24.940 and your families are intertwined

00:43:26.900 we literally spoke about it last week

00:43:28.220 that's why I was like

00:43:28.860 are you

00:43:29.120 like why are we talking about this

00:43:30.860 no but it's just a good topic

00:43:32.080 and based on what we were talking about

00:43:33.900 it related to the conversation

00:43:35.680 hence why I mentioned it

00:43:37.260 but I wasn't relating it to us

00:43:38.800 yeah but bro

00:43:39.540 she loved you

00:43:40.400 and you

00:43:41.160 you

00:43:42.020 you

00:43:42.600 for every reason

00:43:43.540 you wasn't in the right place

00:43:44.420 you said it already

00:43:45.020 you was young

00:43:45.480 but bro

00:43:45.980 obviously she was

00:43:46.780 hurt by it

00:43:48.200 you were someone

00:43:48.980 that she grew up with

00:43:50.040 families were intertwined

00:43:51.420 you was in a relationship

00:43:52.420 and then you chose to

00:43:53.740 break up the relationship

00:43:55.180 and men typically

00:43:55.860 don't leave their women

00:43:56.660 I've never ever left a woman

00:43:57.900 in my life

00:43:58.360 any woman I've been with

00:43:59.300 has left me

00:43:59.760 I'm not saying I haven't

00:44:00.780 tried to come back afterwards

00:44:01.900 but men we don't leave our women

00:44:04.020 like I said the other day

00:44:05.220 if I had a baby with my missus

00:44:06.560 and she put on weight

00:44:07.460 I think I'll leave her

00:44:08.420 I'll try to

00:44:09.020 make her go gym

00:44:10.040 I'll try to

00:44:10.980 and if she didn't want to lose weight

00:44:12.640 I just got a fat wife

00:44:13.460 that's it

00:44:13.860 you know what it is

00:44:15.160 I'll be like

00:44:15.640 you know

00:44:16.000 remember the pictures

00:44:16.860 when you used to be fly

00:44:17.640 you used to be skinny

00:44:18.220 but I'm not going to leave her

00:44:19.400 no because

00:44:19.960 she pushed out her kid for me

00:44:21.860 but you know what I'm trying to say to you

00:44:24.120 like so

00:44:24.720 ah man I just think

00:44:26.440 I think

00:44:27.200 you cheating?

00:44:29.200 he's cheating

00:44:29.900 why you doing that for?

00:44:33.920 I ain't cheating

00:44:34.760 I'm honest

00:44:35.540 why you doing that for?

00:44:37.460 what am I doing?

00:44:38.460 I just asked the question

00:44:39.300 but then can we throw it back

00:44:40.540 to say

00:44:40.940 does love have an expiry date?

00:44:42.160 I want to hear everybody's opinion

00:44:43.300 no

00:44:43.560 no

00:44:44.020 you don't think so

00:44:44.600 my brother do you

00:44:45.640 think that love has an expiry date?

00:44:49.160 no

00:44:49.380 not if there's demand

00:44:51.140 if there's true love

00:44:52.200 it never has an expiry date

00:44:53.960 but

00:44:54.380 if it's only demand

00:44:56.720 then it's not true love

00:44:58.080 if there's a lot of demand

00:45:00.460 then there's not true love

00:45:02.040 but if it's true love

00:45:03.720 it never has an expiry date

00:45:05.420 wait

00:45:06.200 I think I misunderstood

00:45:07.160 I understood your question

00:45:08.180 so my question is

00:45:09.720 does love have an expiry date?

00:45:11.420 so I meant like

00:45:12.700 it does

00:45:13.360 like over a certain age

00:45:14.760 I don't think it's love

00:45:15.640 I think it's respect

00:45:16.480 but I don't think like

00:45:17.620 if you meet that person

00:45:18.960 like

00:45:19.620 I think it's love's a choice

00:45:21.560 love is most definitely a choice

00:45:24.760 I can agree with you on that

00:45:26.160 but I just feel like

00:45:27.400 because I've been in

00:45:28.440 various relationships

00:45:29.500 it's like

00:45:30.700 something can happen

00:45:32.100 and then the woman

00:45:32.860 will just move different

00:45:33.920 and it's like

00:45:34.480 you love me until when

00:45:35.900 I'm not saying

00:45:36.720 I've stepped out

00:45:37.460 or done whatever

00:45:38.220 but it's like

00:45:39.280 something can happen

00:45:39.960 something even minuscule

00:45:41.060 and then it's like

00:45:42.260 the woman will just give up

00:45:43.820 and then go and

00:45:44.320 be entertained by someone else

00:45:46.600 so it's like

00:45:46.960 you love me until when

00:45:48.080 well I think

00:45:48.900 I think men and women

00:45:49.480 love differently

00:45:50.680 and I don't think

00:45:51.820 I don't think women

00:45:52.540 can love men

00:45:53.260 the way men love women

00:45:54.300 because that's why

00:45:55.200 when a man is heartbroken

00:45:56.920 it's a lot harder

00:45:57.520 for him to go through it

00:45:58.380 then I feel like

00:45:59.300 when a woman is heartbroken

00:46:00.320 I feel like

00:46:00.800 men deal with heartbreak

00:46:02.100 a lot harder

00:46:02.660 than women do

00:46:03.360 yeah but I think

00:46:04.260 men can love

00:46:04.980 like multiple girls

00:46:05.900 at the same time

00:46:06.560 I don't know

00:46:07.240 because I think

00:46:07.960 if a girl's alpha

00:46:08.880 widowed too hard

00:46:09.800 like she thinks

00:46:11.220 about that guy

00:46:11.780 like there are

00:46:12.940 I can't remember

00:46:15.180 if it was like

00:46:15.900 a comment

00:46:16.740 or where I read this

00:46:17.560 but it was like

00:46:18.000 a lady in her 80s

00:46:18.980 talking about a dude

00:46:19.720 she dated

00:46:20.160 when she was in her 17

00:46:21.180 like

00:46:22.660 and they interview people

00:46:24.320 on the streets

00:46:25.220 and they said

00:46:26.120 tell me about your first love

00:46:27.240 and you just

00:46:27.640 alpha widow

00:46:28.260 alpha widow

00:46:29.060 alpha widow

00:46:29.660 like I don't know

00:46:31.100 I think like

00:46:31.860 women it's like

00:46:32.920 I don't know

00:46:36.440 which one's worse

00:46:37.120 because they both

00:46:37.680 have it bad

00:46:38.320 but I don't think

00:46:39.000 like I think men

00:46:39.920 like have a heartbreak

00:46:41.020 with everyone

00:46:41.660 with girls

00:46:42.260 it's like

00:46:42.740 we either never

00:46:44.160 want to talk to you again

00:46:44.980 and like you're dead

00:46:45.580 like nothing

00:46:46.780 or like it's like

00:46:47.680 the worst thing

00:46:48.160 that's ever happened

00:46:48.800 and we'll talk about it

00:46:49.460 for years

00:46:49.960 fair enough

00:46:51.180 that's my opinion

00:46:52.280 what do you think

00:46:55.460 what is his question

00:46:56.380 you guys

00:46:56.880 but the thing

00:46:58.720 is you listed

00:46:59.120 four types of love

00:46:59.940 right

00:47:00.180 so I don't know

00:47:01.820 if some types of love

00:47:02.640 have an expiry date

00:47:03.460 like obviously

00:47:04.020 love between friends

00:47:06.400 I don't think

00:47:07.600 really has an expiry date

00:47:08.760 if the friendship

00:47:09.280 is still going

00:47:09.880 that's a tough one

00:47:12.240 I don't think

00:47:12.560 I could really answer that

00:47:13.400 they what it love

00:47:15.120 probably the sex one

00:47:15.820 got expired

00:47:16.300 because when you get old

00:47:17.120 didn't it

00:47:17.420 that was probably

00:47:18.820 got expired

00:47:19.300 that was steamy

00:47:19.960 passion

00:47:20.300 all of that business

00:47:20.880 yeah I think

00:47:21.440 that probably dies

00:47:22.280 down at some point

00:47:23.060 like you know

00:47:23.840 what I mean

00:47:24.060 you're just chilling

00:47:24.620 you know what I mean

00:47:26.180 just chilling

00:47:27.000 in your rocking chair

00:47:27.600 she's over there

00:47:28.200 like you're just like

00:47:28.920 you know what I mean

00:47:30.020 yeah

00:47:31.160 someone said

00:47:32.840 Jada's still in love

00:47:34.780 with a Tupac

00:47:35.900 and dead man

00:47:36.640 an alpha widow

00:47:38.200 that's yeah

00:47:39.060 that's that was crazy

00:47:40.680 man

00:47:40.940 because like

00:47:42.140 who's down bad

00:47:43.360 worse

00:47:43.880 but Will or Jada

00:47:45.320 like who

00:47:45.840 who got their

00:47:46.360 heartbroken worse

00:47:47.400 no definitely

00:47:48.320 because Will

00:47:49.740 when that

00:47:50.400 his pride

00:47:51.820 went down

00:47:52.480 okay okay

00:47:52.980 maybe not down bad

00:47:54.280 like who

00:47:54.700 like let's say

00:47:55.380 Will and Jada

00:47:55.940 break up

00:47:56.440 like Jada leaves

00:47:57.360 who is the worst

00:47:58.700 who is the worst

00:47:59.440 heartbreak

00:47:59.860 Will or Jada

00:48:00.500 now

00:48:00.660 now I would say

00:48:02.140 it's Will

00:48:02.560 because he's stuck

00:48:03.400 with her through

00:48:03.980 everything that's

00:48:04.800 going on

00:48:05.140 including him

00:48:06.300 going up to

00:48:06.900 Chris Rock

00:48:07.320 and just humiliating

00:48:08.260 himself in front

00:48:08.940 of the whole world

00:48:09.600 Jada isn't really

00:48:10.760 losing anything

00:48:11.340 like she's built up

00:48:12.280 her credibility

00:48:12.780 if anything

00:48:13.280 I don't feel

00:48:14.100 like she's

00:48:14.640 gonna lose

00:48:15.060 anything

00:48:15.320 from separating

00:48:16.040 with him

00:48:16.340 she might

00:48:16.700 even want

00:48:17.140 to

00:48:17.280 and it's Will

00:48:17.740 from the outside

00:48:19.100 looking it looks

00:48:19.720 like it's Will

00:48:20.220 that's trying

00:48:20.560 to hold on

00:48:20.980 to it

00:48:21.200 and that's

00:48:21.680 possibly just

00:48:22.240 because they

00:48:22.620 have kids

00:48:22.980 together

00:48:23.240 but that's

00:48:24.140 just my

00:48:24.520 perspective

00:48:25.180 on things

00:48:25.600 that's how

00:48:25.940 I look

00:48:26.300 at it

00:48:26.600 from the

00:48:27.020 outside

00:48:27.260 looking in

00:48:27.820 like

00:48:28.980 and even

00:48:29.780 I just

00:48:30.400 I just

00:48:30.940 look at

00:48:31.180 that scenario

00:48:31.680 as that

00:48:32.080 protector

00:48:32.460 scenario

00:48:32.880 situation

00:48:33.420 again

00:48:33.760 let's

00:48:34.180 just look

00:48:34.480 at this

00:48:34.820 your woman

00:48:35.640 has been

00:48:35.900 disrespected

00:48:36.500 you might

00:48:37.500 not even

00:48:37.960 you might

00:48:39.160 have been

00:48:39.380 found that

00:48:39.740 it was a

00:48:43.280 and this

00:48:43.900 is that

00:48:44.100 thing

00:48:44.280 where I

00:48:44.500 talk about

00:48:44.900 as well

00:48:45.340 when I

00:48:45.660 keep talking

00:48:46.040 about men

00:48:46.560 are women's

00:48:46.880 protectors

00:48:47.300 but when

00:48:47.600 we say

00:48:47.980 it they

00:48:48.220 want to

00:48:48.420 act like

00:48:48.720 we're not

00:48:49.140 but when

00:48:49.900 Will did

00:48:50.920 that so

00:48:51.340 many women

00:48:51.860 were like

00:48:52.340 defending it

00:48:53.200 saying yeah

00:48:53.580 they disrespected

00:48:54.280 Jada her hair

00:48:55.000 and she's got

00:48:55.340 alopecia and

00:48:56.040 this and they

00:48:56.840 forget all the

00:48:57.940 other stuff

00:48:58.380 that Jada's

00:48:58.940 done they were

00:48:59.560 just like yeah

00:49:00.000 that's what I

00:49:00.560 want my man

00:49:00.980 to do

00:49:01.300 but you know

00:49:01.660 he didn't

00:49:02.020 even have a

00:49:02.420 problem until

00:49:02.940 he looked at

00:49:03.380 her because at

00:49:03.880 first he laughed

00:49:04.480 at the joke

00:49:04.860 himself and

00:49:05.560 then he looked

00:49:06.260 and saw that

00:49:06.880 she was pissed

00:49:07.640 and then he

00:49:08.400 went over and

00:49:09.120 said you know

00:49:09.440 I gotta do

00:49:09.880 something now

00:49:10.260 because if I

00:49:10.800 don't she's

00:49:11.580 gonna come and

00:49:11.980 chat shit to

00:49:12.440 me in the

00:49:12.700 bedroom and I

00:49:13.380 don't want to

00:49:13.640 hear that and

00:49:13.920 as a man we

00:49:14.700 go through that

00:49:15.240 because you don't

00:49:15.920 want to hear your

00:49:16.340 woman just in

00:49:17.360 your ear talking

00:49:18.140 rubbish so I

00:49:18.980 feel like he was

00:49:19.560 pressured into

00:49:20.500 that situation I

00:49:21.120 don't feel like he

00:49:21.580 don't have to

00:49:21.860 own off his own

00:49:22.700 back I feel like

00:49:23.560 he was pressured

00:49:23.960 into that situation

00:49:24.700 no I fully but I

00:49:25.920 just use it as

00:49:26.600 another example of

00:49:27.660 just us men as

00:49:28.520 protectors and

00:49:29.620 what women look for

00:49:30.440 us to do now if

00:49:31.820 you didn't do that

00:49:32.540 in that scenario look

00:49:33.500 at like Will was

00:49:34.240 laughing and she

00:49:34.840 looked to him like

00:49:35.540 oh you're gonna

00:49:35.940 laugh and then he

00:49:36.540 had to get up and

00:49:37.240 he had to go and

00:49:38.080 become something and

00:49:39.080 look what he threw

00:49:39.620 and thrown away and

00:49:40.340 look what he threw

00:49:41.000 away and this is

00:49:42.000 what I keep talking

00:49:42.620 about women about

00:49:43.940 about scenarios where

00:49:45.200 men have to step in

00:49:46.240 and do things and

00:49:47.500 we put ourselves and

00:49:48.500 our career and all

00:49:49.680 of our things on the

00:49:50.660 line and people

00:49:52.040 completely disregarded

00:49:53.100 but can I just say

00:49:54.000 something as well on

00:49:54.600 that subject I think

00:49:55.360 that in itself sends

00:49:56.140 up a bad message to

00:49:57.160 what's happening like

00:49:58.220 with women these days

00:49:59.100 because she is another

00:50:00.180 woman who doesn't

00:50:00.880 listen to her man yeah

00:50:01.980 yeah you see when

00:50:02.700 there's around a red

00:50:03.240 table talk and

00:50:04.220 remember he says

00:50:05.080 something about oh

00:50:05.660 I'll give you my

00:50:06.380 permission and she

00:50:07.020 was like no you

00:50:08.020 don't give me no

00:50:08.620 permission so this is

00:50:09.440 the message that a

00:50:10.080 lot of these girls are

00:50:10.700 getting that you know

00:50:11.620 you can have a man

00:50:12.240 that's gonna go and

00:50:12.800 risk it all to protect

00:50:13.700 you but you don't

00:50:14.540 have to listen to him

00:50:15.240 when he says anything

00:50:15.800 you can do what the

00:50:16.460 hell you want humiliate

00:50:17.460 him and it's all good

00:50:18.660 you know but it's not

00:50:19.360 the real world really

00:50:20.040 is it?

00:50:20.200 And what does it

00:50:20.840 say about that like

00:50:21.600 what we're teaching

00:50:22.560 men to accept from

00:50:23.640 women you ever think

00:50:25.480 like even when like

00:50:26.880 um like when I hear

00:50:29.700 songs from the early

00:50:30.620 2000s and it's like I

00:50:33.420 I don't want no

00:50:34.220 script it's like Bob

00:50:35.480 I'm gonna still sing to

00:50:36.560 it but yeah but it's

00:50:38.580 like like we have all of

00:50:40.660 these songs about you know

00:50:42.580 that kind of shit on men and

00:50:43.860 I feel like we really

00:50:44.880 haven't taught men to like

00:50:45.940 value themselves and think

00:50:47.340 highly of themselves and

00:50:48.460 say like you don't have to

00:50:49.800 accept that behavior from a

00:50:51.160 woman and that's bad

00:50:51.960 behavior and your woman

00:50:52.760 shouldn't gain weight when

00:50:53.640 she's with you and she

00:50:54.400 shouldn't sleep around

00:50:55.100 before she's met you

00:50:56.100 and you deserve a pure

00:50:57.760 young wife but we shame

00:50:59.680 them when we when they

00:51:00.560 want these things

00:51:01.560 the world has changed

00:51:02.580 that's why I can describe

00:51:03.420 me these hoes ain't loyal

00:51:04.440 that was like that was

00:51:06.040 one for the boys

00:51:06.680 yeah

00:51:06.960 so when those scrubs

00:51:09.920 came out as well that

00:51:10.720 was probably like what

00:51:11.440 maybe 15 20 years ago

00:51:12.900 maybe longer longer

00:51:14.320 yeah cool so that song

00:51:15.720 came out a long time ago

00:51:16.640 this like I'd say

00:51:18.580 relationships were a lot

00:51:19.720 different where men were

00:51:20.740 a lot more masculine in

00:51:22.000 those times now like not

00:51:25.940 to say that men are like

00:51:28.080 B-I-T-C-Hs in

00:51:29.100 relationships but we are

00:51:30.180 like taught to not be as

00:51:33.360 masculine as we once was

00:51:34.620 like say for example if

00:51:35.780 you look at these movies

00:51:36.480 that we're watching these

00:51:37.160 days most guys are guys

00:51:40.880 that are just tired and

00:51:42.040 they just get abused by

00:51:43.220 their women in these films

00:51:44.780 and it's like that's what

00:51:46.740 they want the role model

00:51:48.840 of a man to be now where

00:51:50.360 the woman plays the

00:51:51.700 masculine role in

00:51:53.640 certain relationships

00:51:55.080 whereas before back in

00:51:56.120 the day the man was

00:51:57.580 like this macho man that

00:51:58.700 used to go out and do

00:51:59.660 anything they'll defend

00:52:00.540 their woman they'll do

00:52:01.280 anything but now they

00:52:02.080 want their guy to be

00:52:04.040 Lil Nas for example

00:52:05.120 but even the term toxic

00:52:06.500 masculinity is just

00:52:07.840 it's not real because

00:52:09.620 there's nothing toxic

00:52:10.860 about being masculine

00:52:11.920 so even attaching

00:52:12.920 toxicity to masculine

00:52:14.060 it creates a bad

00:52:15.820 connotation image in

00:52:17.140 people's mind it's like

00:52:17.800 saying toxic femininity

00:52:18.800 right there's nothing

00:52:20.320 toxic about being

00:52:21.280 feminine and if

00:52:21.920 you're hyper feminine

00:52:22.740 that's a good thing so

00:52:23.900 if you're super masculine

00:52:25.060 why would that be a bad

00:52:25.980 thing so but when you

00:52:28.020 create a scenario where

00:52:29.160 where men can't even be

00:52:31.320 what they're supposed to

00:52:32.200 be naturally see what are

00:52:33.780 you doing now so you're

00:52:34.800 if a man wants to be

00:52:35.900 stronger if he wants to

00:52:37.160 go gym if he wants to be

00:52:38.720 actually you know what I

00:52:39.720 want to look after my

00:52:40.920 women I'm our protector

00:52:41.960 all of a sudden now these

00:52:43.540 are things a lot of

00:52:44.080 things that are naturally

00:52:44.820 in us and we want to do

00:52:46.460 it but then when you step

00:52:47.780 out into the world they're

00:52:48.640 going to tell you no no no

00:52:49.820 no and make all these

00:52:50.920 things to be bad and

00:52:52.240 derogatory and

00:52:52.920 misogynistic but in

00:52:53.840 reality these are just

00:52:54.740 things that are naturally

00:52:55.640 in our body so when they

00:52:56.760 start creating movies and

00:52:58.760 stuff where they show

00:52:59.560 hyper feminine males

00:53:00.960 that's the majority of

00:53:02.580 them these days if you look

00:53:03.480 at all of the films that

00:53:04.500 are probably released in

00:53:05.240 the last five to ten years

00:53:06.320 most of the guys are just

00:53:07.640 done out here yeah but a

00:53:08.900 lot of times women support

00:53:09.920 this so you know it is it

00:53:12.560 is a lot of women support

00:53:14.460 this idea of we don't we

00:53:16.120 want feminine men but then

00:53:17.220 when they get feminine men

00:53:18.220 in real life when they

00:53:18.940 meet them you know that's

00:53:20.640 why they hate them yeah

00:53:21.680 they hate them because they

00:53:23.680 no one like you said you

00:53:25.860 want a man to defend you

00:53:26.700 want a man to do certain

00:53:27.540 things so I just think

00:53:29.280 women have to really ask

00:53:30.520 themselves what do they

00:53:31.180 want do you want a man

00:53:32.500 that's gonna he's gonna

00:53:33.920 sit there with you in the

00:53:35.280 in you know in starbucks

00:53:36.540 and they're gonna talk

00:53:37.020 oh babe tell me about

00:53:37.860 your friend tell me about

00:53:38.440 your name you're gonna

00:53:39.120 take it to the nails

00:53:39.660 gonna do your hair all of

00:53:40.880 these things or do you

00:53:42.080 want a man that's gonna be

00:53:42.920 like actually babes here's

00:53:44.760 my card go buy that send

00:53:46.820 a picture oh is that

00:53:47.460 what you're wearing I'll

00:53:48.300 change that um um I don't

00:53:50.820 want you to go there but

00:53:51.600 if you are gonna go there

00:53:52.600 then just make sure you let

00:53:53.840 me know what you're doing

00:53:54.560 who you're with like these

00:53:55.800 are just natural things

00:53:56.920 masculine things that men

00:53:58.080 are gonna do or do you

00:53:59.180 want a man that doesn't

00:53:59.840 care where you go who

00:54:01.100 you're with and doesn't

00:54:02.160 care when you're coming

00:54:02.800 back um he doesn't you

00:54:04.880 know like do you it

00:54:06.400 depends what you consider

00:54:07.500 love is and if you've

00:54:08.780 never had that before

00:54:09.740 there's nothing more than

00:54:10.780 when a man is literally

00:54:11.560 trying to figure out where

00:54:12.400 you are not because he's

00:54:13.360 worried oh babe I'm gonna

00:54:14.120 come and pick you up if

00:54:14.760 you're not driving actually

00:54:15.820 you know what um I'm

00:54:16.720 gonna go grab your mum

00:54:17.460 because actually auntie

00:54:18.600 wants to go to church on a

00:54:19.860 Sunday and I should go

00:54:20.520 these are all masculine

00:54:21.360 things that we do but if

00:54:23.060 you've never experienced it

00:54:24.260 it's because the types of

00:54:25.640 guys you were dealing

00:54:26.180 with the wrong types of

00:54:26.980 guys and I've already

00:54:28.120 taken from some of the

00:54:29.000 things that you said is

00:54:29.840 that maybe you figured

00:54:31.360 out some guys that you

00:54:32.480 should have seen before

00:54:33.160 now we know this you're

00:54:34.840 28 you have no children

00:54:36.580 you have you come from a

00:54:37.980 family with a father

00:54:38.740 figure in there you have

00:54:39.860 your sister next to you

00:54:40.920 you know I'm trying to

00:54:41.500 say to you have your head

00:54:42.180 screwed on go outside

00:54:43.900 and go and get the man

00:54:45.240 that's going to take you

00:54:46.000 down the aisle and it's

00:54:46.800 going to have a beautiful

00:54:47.560 life with you and protect

00:54:50.300 you

00:54:50.640 you

00:54:57.440 so

00:54:57.540 you

00:54:58.120 you

00:54:58.440 you

00:55:00.320 you

00:55:00.740 you

00:55:02.460 you

00:55:02.560 you

00:55:04.460 you

JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023

The REASON You Shouldn't Listen to Women

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