JustPearlyThings - The rise of SEXLESS men

00:00:00.000 We're talking about sexless men.

00:00:02.240 So, a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the number of sexually inactive young adults has increased in recent years.

00:00:11.680 A survey conducted by the General Social Survey which found that the percentage of men under 30 who have not had had sex in the past year has tripled since 2008.

00:00:22.020 A study published in JAMA Pediatrics which found that fewer teens are having sex than in previous generations.

00:00:28.800 A study found in the Journal of Adolescent Health which found that social media use is associated with a decrease in sexual activity among adolescents.

00:00:40.940 According to a 2017 study, the number of sexually inactive men in the U.S. has tripled in the past decade.

00:00:47.160 The percentage of men aged 18 to 29 who have not had had sex in the past year increased from 9.5% in 2008 to 28% in 2018.

00:00:56.720 There are a number of potential reasons for this trend including the rise of technology, social media, and video games which can be addictive and time consuming.

00:01:06.100 Economic factors such as lack of job opportunities and financial insecurity may also contribute to men delaying marriage and sexual activity.

00:01:15.940 Changes in gender norms and expectations as well as a shift towards more casual dating and hookup culture may also be factors.

00:01:22.860 This trend is not unique to the U.S. where there are similar patterns in other countries including the U.K. and Japan.

00:01:31.780 Some experts argue that the trends towards sexual inactivity is not necessarily a negative and may reflect a broader shift towards a greater emphasis on personal fulfillment and self-care.

00:01:43.700 So, according to the article, the number of sexless men under 30 has tripled in the last decade.

00:01:49.780 Why do you guys think that's happening?

00:01:51.480 So, I don't know about the U.S.

00:01:55.620 Yeah. 0.59

00:01:57.040 I think in the U.K. young people are having sex more.

00:02:01.860 I just think we're not having as much kids like as the previous generation.

00:02:08.460 I feel like people were having kids younger or having a lot of children.

00:02:12.480 I feel like we're just not having kids.

00:02:14.560 We're having sex but we're not having kids.

00:02:17.000 So, you think they're like lying when they're surveyed about it?

00:02:19.840 I don't know about the lying.

00:02:21.140 But from being in the U.K. and how I know guys that, you know, are out here, I don't think men have become like sexless at all.

00:02:33.280 But I think, sorry, I tried to cut you off, but you can speak after me.

00:02:38.000 I think also there is a massive change in confidence in men.

00:02:44.380 I don't know what happened with this gender thing. 1.00

00:02:47.320 But also there's a massive impact when men is confused and it's playing in their confidence.

00:02:55.220 Like I think the generation right now, the kids that I'm seeing right now, there's a massive difference between them and the generation that I know.

00:03:02.220 So, boys.

00:03:03.480 What do you think caused that?

00:03:04.600 There's a lot of culture, you know, even the songs that you hear like Six Figure, blah, blah, blah.

00:03:11.520 I think men are questioning if they're good enough to actually go out and date and take girls out and, you know, be with these type of girls that they fancy or they have to settle for something that they're not.

00:03:22.640 Which most of men do, but I think there's a massive crisis, I would say, that's happening to the young generation.

00:03:29.940 And it's the whole songs, the culture, everything that's happening, contributing to the confidence of the young boys right now, comparing to the generation before.

00:03:39.720 And it's a bit shocking.

00:03:40.680 So you think that masculinity was celebrated before and it's not now?

00:03:45.240 I'm just trying to paraphrase what you're saying.

00:03:47.020 A hundred percent.

00:03:47.720 I definitely think so.

00:03:50.820 Yes.

00:03:51.260 And it's funny enough, even I think also a lot of men are put in a lid to who they are and what they need and what they want.

00:03:59.680 And their identity has been really like, there's a crisis of their identity because of what the conversation that we're having and the songs and everything.

00:04:11.020 The whole culture is definitely suppressing that a hundred percent.

00:04:15.200 I definitely think there is a bit of a crisis of masculinity going on with a lot of young men where, I mean,

00:04:20.640 if I think of someone my age, we have so many strong male role models and we didn't have the distraction of this little device in our hands that just sucked in all of our potential almost as men and as human beings.

00:04:34.760 And now men don't have their own models. 0.98

00:04:36.880 They almost don't know how to be.

00:04:38.680 There's a backdrop, I guess, of the Me Too movement.

00:04:40.640 A lot of genuine movements that needed to happen.

00:04:43.060 And I think it's left a lot of men discombobulated how they approach women, should they approach women, what's appropriate.

00:04:48.780 You know, if you think a lot of our parents probably met in social settings or, you know, through families, et cetera.

00:04:53.800 But certainly the social aspect of meeting people at the gym, at the pub, at the bar, I think a lot of men are frightened to do that.

00:05:01.020 Some of it is societal, like this.

00:05:02.960 I guess some people see it as an attack on masculinity.

00:05:05.440 And some of it is the men themselves' failure to almost move with the modern times.

00:05:12.100 So they've withdrawn into their computer games.

00:05:14.020 They've withdrawn into this world where they're almost just with themselves or with their peers.

00:05:18.700 And they've forgot the art of actually engaging in conversations, chatting people up and doing stuff.

00:05:24.000 And I think also another aspect is I think we're a bit in the victim culture a little bit in life as well, where people see themselves as victims.

00:05:30.680 And poor me and almost the world owes them something.

00:05:33.660 I'm sure there are a lot of, and I don't mean to be bad when I say it, but a lot of angry men who seem that they by default should just have stuff without having to put the work in.

00:05:41.760 So it's almost like an entitlement with guys because they're not putting the work in.

00:05:45.540 They don't know how to or they're scared to do it.

00:05:47.620 But as a result, a lot of them are unintentionally sexless.

00:05:51.240 I don't think they want to be, but I think it's unintentionally.

00:05:53.820 So there's so many different factors that are contributing to it, especially more so with men.

00:05:57.760 And then I guess there's also the factor of women going for that top 20% or the top 30% of men, as we see with these Tinder studies.

00:06:05.000 So most men are not going to pass that standard anymore.

00:06:08.140 So they're going to be left, they're sort of scratching their ears thinking, what can I do?

00:06:12.220 And a lot of them are choosing to withdraw.

00:06:13.580 And I think it's quite dangerous as well.

00:06:14.920 Well, you've seen it with a lot of the shooting and stuff that's happened in America.

00:06:18.960 They can become quite angry and quite disaffected and it can become quite dangerous for society.

00:06:24.260 Can you expound a little bit more what you said that you said phones are ruining men's potential?

00:06:28.440 Yeah, because phones are this illusion of life, but it's not real.

00:06:33.640 So if you've always got your head in your phone or you've got your head in video games, how the hell do you become who you're born to be?

00:06:41.340 How the hell do you get the level of charisma, the level of confidence you need if you're always in the phone?

00:06:46.240 It's not a real world.

00:06:47.760 Go and talk to that woman at a bar. 1.00

00:06:49.380 Go and talk to that woman on the street. 1.00

00:06:51.220 Go and engage with an actual human being rather than your phone.

00:06:53.800 It's very easy, I think, to be buried in your phone.

00:06:56.400 And the more you do it, the more disengaged you are from actual real world where you need to speak to people.

00:07:01.060 But you can't blame them.

00:07:02.240 It's actually, there's so many different factors that are contributing to them needing almost, I guess, they feel they need to disengage from society.

00:07:10.680 And I think also the access to corn as well.

00:07:13.140 To what?

00:07:13.520 Access to corn, how easy it is.

00:07:15.560 How easy it is.

00:07:17.080 I can't say the word.

00:07:18.040 Yeah, I think that, exactly.

00:07:19.380 Yeah.

00:07:19.880 And again, that's another aspect of your phone and technology.

00:07:22.400 It's much easier for guys to get online and engage in corn and again, not be engaged in the real world.

00:07:27.520 And then get into this unrealistic world of what, you know, intimacy is.

00:07:32.800 For them, intimacy, if it's just born, that's not intimacy.

00:07:34.980 That's just one side of it.

00:07:36.960 But real intimacy is engaging.

00:07:38.620 It's sharing.

00:07:39.140 It's being vulnerable.

00:07:40.040 It's allowing yourself to be seen and to see others.

00:07:43.040 And they're not engaging in that anymore in that same way.

00:07:45.560 Do you think that's true for men and for women?

00:07:48.080 I think more so for me.

00:07:49.200 We were just speaking about this before everyone came in.

00:07:51.200 I think it's genuinely harder for men because men have to graft.

00:07:55.180 No one's coming to save a man.

00:07:56.260 And I think society would happily step over a man's corpse.

00:08:00.280 And you see it, what, 75% of homelessness is men.

00:08:02.920 Something like, again, similar stat when it comes to suicide.

00:08:05.860 I don't think society cares about men.

00:08:08.140 In fact, people probably laugh.

00:08:09.940 Oh, men are not having sex.

00:08:10.960 Oh, it's just funny.

00:08:12.400 Do you know?

00:08:12.720 So there's all these different things, you know?

00:08:14.380 And I think, and because I do a lot of advocacy for men, I think from my stance is men need to be responsible for the state of their lives.

00:08:22.960 I don't necessarily think society owes them anything.

00:08:26.220 I'd love society to care about men, to care about masculinity, to see the value that men bring to the world.

00:08:31.800 But society may not.

00:08:32.900 In fact, the trend seems to be going the other way.

00:08:34.520 I want men to start actually looking, what can I be responsible for? 0.57

00:08:38.060 Let me put my phone away.

00:08:39.440 Let me put down call of duty.

00:08:40.860 Let me actually start to engage.

00:08:42.460 I know that, especially for younger people, it's a bit of a minefield because what was normal for my generation, chatting up a girl on the street or wherever it might be, for some people might be seen as some sort of attack almost.

00:08:51.920 That's what society said.

00:08:52.960 But I think men need to almost stand in their courage and just go for it.

00:08:56.820 And I think if they can do it with charisma, with respect, they can start to engage.

00:09:00.620 But men are checking out.

00:09:01.500 And I think the amplification of that disaster is not to mention the fact that relationships break down.

00:09:07.020 There are a lot of men from single parent families who are not taught a lot of these things, you know?

00:09:11.300 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.

00:09:15.000 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.

00:09:18.920 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.

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JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023

The rise of SEXLESS men

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