JustPearlyThings - The Truth About Monogamy

00:00:00.000 I don't believe that men can not cheat okay and when I say men I mean most men

00:00:06.720 I think I think I think they're just built to your day in the 20% you mean 0.99

00:00:13.120 we're not designed designed to be with one person designed to cheat because

00:00:17.880 that because you're assuming that the woman is like somehow like deserving of 0.83

00:00:22.980 just me alone no no no that's not her words

00:00:29.560 yeah I don't I don't I don't believe that men can just be one person is that from

00:00:41.260 experience you've been like cheated on a lot I've in fact I've been cheated on but

00:00:45.100 I've never found out until when I was it was way way way way something he's never

00:00:48.700 affected me but I kind of feel like it's a scientific or genetic whatever you

00:00:56.880 want us what however you want to put it I feel like men they they think with

00:01:01.480 their penis penises and I wouldn't I personally if I was with someone for many 0.99

00:01:06.680 many years and then I found out that they cheated on me I wouldn't throw away a

00:01:10.580 whole that you know that whole sort of relationship for for one person who was

00:01:16.640 probably insignificant I wouldn't because she did that's that that was the

00:01:20.640 difference though she did say if it was a side chick like having a

00:01:25.300 relationship on the side you'd still be speaking to them wasn't I'm sorry if it

00:01:30.320 wasn't a one-night stand if it was a one-night stand or a relationship over a

00:01:36.440 period of time is that both acceptable yeah okay and what do you think if if he

00:01:43.540 does cheat on you would you think that he still loves you yeah I would I don't I don't

00:01:48.540 think I don't think I don't think a man cheating means he doesn't love his his

00:01:52.140 partner agreed because I think I think we're not not to be controversial but

00:01:56.040 monogamy is a social construct yeah which isn't bad it's you know it works for 0.88

00:02:01.160 our society and it's very much if without a society societal construct a

00:02:05.340 social construct we would do what we want we do as we please we brought right

00:02:09.160 back down to our biology exactly the 20% will get the 80% so because we have to stay 0.96

00:02:14.280 with one no because we're not because we have to stay with one woman in the

00:02:20.320 West it enables more men to have a woman if they had polygamy yeah the best men 0.99

00:02:26.100 would get the best wives but I mean no I mean I do I do I do think men are 1.00

00:02:33.540 biologically predisposition to cheat but I also think you can make choices to not

00:02:37.660 put yourself in those situations yeah so I kind of I kind of understand what both of

00:02:43.380 you guys are saying because I wanted I really do think a lot of guys if it's

00:02:47.100 thrown at them are gonna have a really hard time turning it down and there's

00:02:50.040 gonna be a very like like Tiger Woods I think of right he he had that hole he

00:02:55.140 had like Facebook groups full of women right and then like that man was wild and

00:02:59.040 but but like most guys don't have a bus full of Brazilian models waiting for 1.00

00:03:04.600 them at the end of a golf course I think most men couldn't turn that down but at

00:03:09.380 the same time like my dad never cheated on my mom right and he's in a top half a

00:03:13.700 percent of earners but he just doesn't drink and doesn't put himself in those

00:03:16.300 situations so I know I was very good at it I don't think just because you're

00:03:21.200 biologically predisposed to to cheat or to be polygamous I don't I don't think that

00:03:27.880 means you need to act on it what I would say as an example is if it's it's men are

00:03:35.460 biologically predisposition to violence far more than women okay now if a man 0.92

00:03:41.620 started to bat the shit out somebody in the street what's the first thing we'd 0.80

00:03:44.120 all say why can't you control yourself yeah right so I think you can also apply

00:03:49.020 it to this I think this is gonna piss a lot of men off I'm sorry but the truth of

00:03:54.000 the matter is yes I will agree you are biologically predisposition to to have

00:03:59.540 more than one woman to seek out more than one woman spread your seeds so to call it 0.98

00:04:03.280 right that doesn't mean you need to act on it and I think as a man you can truly

00:04:08.600 be happy long-term without acting on it I think you can like it's men are more

00:04:17.660 loyal to their friends than the others their women sometimes men will not sleep 0.97

00:04:21.400 with a friends if if men will say I'm not sleeping with a girl that's been with

00:04:26.680 their friend or that's a friend that's not loyal but they'll sleep around behind the

00:04:32.140 woman they're supposed to love more than anything but no no no the reason why I don't

00:04:36.100 sleep with my friends with the girl that's been with my friend is because I don't like 0.99

00:04:40.800 I don't want my I'm not saying the woman that slept around I'm saying if your friend 1.00

00:04:44.420 was in a relationship with a girl or like someone your friend not even a relationship say

00:04:49.860 your friend had fancied a girl who liked a girl and had told you you probably wouldn't

00:04:55.120 go there because of your friend but what I'm saying to you is you will go behind

00:04:58.880 you will sleep out of your marital beds because men show loyalty to women in 0.96

00:05:05.020 different ways yeah and so so them it's protection and provisioning that's like

00:05:09.260 that's how they show loyalty okay and you're protecting they're not

00:05:14.020 protected by sleeping about that's not very good no no no it's resources right

00:05:19.660 there they're not perfect for it's and protection so if someone breaks into your

00:05:23.000 house who's expected to go go fight the robber whatever it is that's protection

00:05:27.760 but if with their friends like they don't get their protection and provisioning

00:05:32.220 yeah you're judging us by the woman's measuring stick yeah I don't think that

00:05:36.540 means men are more loyal to their friends than their partners we as men we

00:05:39.920 provide a different set of values for you so though a man may cheat the values that

00:05:46.160 he is providing to you again it all goes back to the way we are on a

00:05:52.000 biological level this isn't agreed upon by most people from what I've seen yeah

00:05:55.920 but the science is very clear that we are all still our brains are still ancient

00:06:02.220 that's just the truth of matter so if you're gonna act out of impulse that's a

00:06:06.120 biological impulse and your brain the decisions that you make the way you think

00:06:10.300 is actually still very primal so for a man to look at another woman and cheat now I'm

00:06:15.140 not saying he has to do it you can't argue a man for the impulse for the lust and

00:06:20.760 I would even go as far as to say acting on it however the values that he

00:06:26.040 provides you are physical security now in modern day times financial security

00:06:33.880 okay and ultimately he can go out and fend for himself and get all of the

00:06:40.660 resources needed okay I think ultimately women care more about those traits those 1.00

00:06:48.840 qualities that a man can provide if he is to fuck up and accidentally sleep with a

00:06:52.920 woman but he can still provide all of those things for you I think and it I 0.92

00:06:58.800 think it also does depend on age right so if you're younger you're far more

00:07:02.460 likely to go I've got no real investment in this man fine I can move on but I've I

00:07:06.840 can see many situations in my life and we probably all can where the man so she's

00:07:12.420 invested in a man to such that she's now got a house on a mortgage she's now got 0.92

00:07:16.300 many many kids they are married one slip up I think if women are deep down honest 1.00

00:07:21.280 with themselves they'll admit that that one slip up I don't think it does

00:07:24.220 anything I don't think I don't think it means he loves me any less I'm saying

00:07:29.860 having a whole other relationship that's detrimental okay but that's that's

00:07:33.420 different yeah that is that is different a relationship is very

00:07:37.120 different honestly the older generation still got through that they did I know so

00:07:43.140 many grandparents that had like side chicks for a hot minute and I don't I 0.54

00:07:47.700 don't agree with it but I think they were just kind of built of a different

00:07:51.900 cloth right would you know would you would you accept cheating would I accept

00:07:55.980 cheating I always say if I had kids it's not about me anymore because once you

00:08:00.340 have kids you put the kids first so if I had kids know I I or if I had kids I

00:08:04.560 would accept it if I didn't have kids now I'm leaving on the flip side of that if if we're

00:08:11.800 accepting cheating and our children are also seeing the aftermath of that what

00:08:18.400 it's it's it's very so well well the kids shouldn't know I mean I I'm sorry but

00:08:24.580 yeah that's just a responsibility that's irresponsible to let your kids know what

00:08:29.040 your marriage problems are kids kids know a lot and they don't say so you might

00:08:33.640 you might not necessarily want your kids know or even know that your children know

00:08:37.660 but you know that they're not how how would kids know that he cheated not

00:08:43.660 necessarily that he cheated but say for instance they might know there's fighting

00:08:47.740 say for instance I was with a I was with my partner and he cheated and and that

00:08:53.380 affected me in a way where I was completely depressed for my whole year

00:08:57.760 that's gonna affect the children right but you're depressed yeah but if I'm

00:09:03.280 depressed I can't look after my children properly

00:09:04.760 well I feel like that's your that's your that's your

00:09:07.760 that's your problem you're depressed it's not it's not a problem because it's

00:09:11.260 effective okay but but you shouldn't let it affect your kids wait hold on hold on you said what so if

00:09:17.200 counselors you had a lot of depression is is a mental health issue yeah you can't say oh you

00:09:24.280 shouldn't be depressed that doesn't make sense I'm saying you can be sad and you

00:09:27.880 you can be depressed but the way you act is a choice and you should be a mother

00:09:31.600 first and put you before you and put your kids before you it's not about you

00:09:35.920 anymore once you have children but you could try to put them first but

00:09:39.100 ultimately some people you can get yeah you can you could get help but I'm

00:09:44.800 saying that help could take a whole year that that rebuilding of yourself could

00:09:48.880 take a whole year or six months what's the alternative right because the

00:09:53.200 alternative is putting your kid at a statistical disadvantage there's a

00:09:57.080 there's a single mother to prison pipeline so if I put my I put the I put 0.99

00:10:01.420 my kid at the disadvantage not the man that cheated now if it's where does the

00:10:05.520 response it's who breaks up the home who leaves whoever yeah yeah but we also

00:10:16.720 said that in cases of domestic violence is different yeah so what I'm saying is so

00:10:22.060 I'm with I've I've told my partner that I'm gonna have kids with if you cheat I'm

00:10:27.460 leaving he's decided to cheat on me and I have left now I've made my kids become a

00:10:32.200 statistic that's what you're saying

00:10:34.600 only if you act a certain way only if you act a certain way it's my fault okay okay okay I

00:10:40.480 think I think we can agree common sense right yeah if you break up your home then you leave

00:10:47.080 your kids at a statistical disadvantage yeah but when you get married are there not vows

00:10:55.200 therefore if a man then then goes out and cheese then it's isn't it him that breaks he's broken

00:11:02.580 yeah no because he didn't break in the contract he didn't leave he didn't leave the marriage

00:11:06.060 you broke the rules so ultimately you are the catalyst you're the catalyst right break up but

00:11:17.280 you're putting yourself before your children as the mother you are not you're supposed to love your

00:11:21.420 kids more than yourself so did he himself before all of us cannot can I quickly ask a question

00:11:26.020 sorry right this now this is aside from cheating if a man was struggling financially wasn't doing too

00:11:35.220 well with money he couldn't find a job or he was down in the dumps and his ability to provide had now

00:11:41.900 been knocked if he was to basically just sit around and mope and act all depressed what would you say to

00:11:49.700 him I'm going to help you get up and get back on your feet and get back maybe in the beginning

00:11:54.800 but as time goes because a minute ago your example was for a year if I'm depressed does he have a year

00:12:00.160 to be depressed and not get shit done you would now turn around and look at him and go bollocks to that

00:12:04.640 your feelings come second to us and the kids and what goes on in the household and the security

00:12:09.280 I think I think that is a massive double standard that example is a bit different yeah I would

00:12:13.920 because the guy loses his job outside of outside of yeah but I did state from the beginning that it is

00:12:17.940 aside from the thing but yeah ultimately where it's the same principle it's one minute I'm depressed

00:12:23.620 and I'm putting that on my kids and they're suffering and if a man is depressed and he's

00:12:28.200 putting that on the kids and now the wife and the kids are suffering her her attitude is you need to

00:12:33.180 man up and get on with it so why as a woman can you not put it aside and just get on with it 1.00

00:12:36.060 why do the kids have to suffer as many of you know I was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized

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JustPearlyThings - April 04, 2023

The Truth About Monogamy

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