The UNREALISTIC DEMAND Of Modern WOMEN
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
202.29843
Summary
In this episode, we talk about generational trauma and what it means to grow up in a broken family. We talk about the effects of generational trauma in our lives and how it affects our relationships with family. We also discuss the difference between living with family vs. living with roommates and moving in with a man.
Transcript
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a question for the the girl so you're you're 29 i don't i'm sorry how old did you guys say you are
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you're i'm 19. oh wow you're very young yeah 26 26 26 okay so i know you guys said right now
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you wouldn't um you'd rather live with roommates than a man right that's not
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is the way that you phrased the question you were asking us like how like where would we have to be
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in our lives to be reliant on a man and his income and i think phrasing it that way like okay okay
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fine fine fine but like when when there's a recession if you had to make a choice right if
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if your income was getting slim you would pick family over a man yeah right i have the
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i have the option to do that so yeah if i was in a relationship that's different but i have the
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option okay so so let's say like you lose your job tomorrow and you have to think i either have
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to move home or i have to get into a relationship right right right now right now right now right
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right right now you would pick moving home or moving in with a roommate that's that's what you
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guys said earlier i would i would i would suggest that to be fair if you had no income coming in
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moving in with a guy you don't really know what his real financial circumstances and you might become
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a bit of a burden and that might actually crash the relationship yeah home i'm not i'm just asking
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yeah home first i'm not responding to this question i just my question is would that change if you were
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older if i was older like if this happened at 32 33 34 35 would you ever start prioritizing relationships
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over um like moving home or moving in with roommates me personally no i like i don't view really or
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i don't even get into relationships where um money is a main proponent of that like i i it's nice if
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we can go out on like dates and we go out to eat and we're going we're having a great time and things
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like that but i'm also fine with like picnics in the car and it's just cheese and crackers like you
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know like like it doesn't always have to be well i'm not even talking about dates i was talking about rent
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yeah like you're right like you're in a situation your rent needs to cut in half you either find a
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man or you go home right exactly so i'm just trying to put it together like there's just no situation
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where like even when i'm making money where i'm going to be financially relying on a man i'm definitely
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not going to do it when i'm when i'm not like i i personally i would go with my family do you want kids
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no oh you don't want kids okay okay well then fair enough then you don't need it yeah yeah i mean
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i feel like because even you asked earlier like how how do i feel about being 60 years old
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do i have a man or do i have a roommate i mean being 16 and having a roommate we're just out here
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you know pushing little kids hitting people with our canes like that sounds like a good time like
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i'm just curious have you always felt like that um you know different relationships have shown me
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different things so i have been in relationships with men where i was like okay i could have children
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with you i can see us moving in that direction i can see us getting married i can see us owning the
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house i can see us reproducing and and like creating a legacy that way um but it's not in
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every relationship and even now that i'm single like i'm definitely not pursuing that okay but for
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it sounds like for the right guy you still would yeah yeah yeah would you say like your intentions
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changed before you met someone so like did you think oh i'd never want to have kids before i met
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someone and then you got in a relationship and you're like actually maybe i would change my mindset or
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was it always i'll never have kids in relationship you're like i'll never have kids and it got to
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like a certain point and you're like actually like it so it was more so like i don't know i don't know
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how to get into this without saying like i i have both of our families are pretty large right all
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together there's 10 grandchildren right and so we grew up in a yeah like yeah summers at grandma's house
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were always super fun and um seeing sort of like the effect that our parents had on us and like on
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our other cousins and things like that it was just kind of like i don't want to have that effect on
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people um and so when i got into a relationship and i was like oh if we got together and we were
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taking care of kids we wouldn't have that effect on people we could actually build like a very like
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beautiful prosperous like family like i was like okay okay i can see myself doing that but otherwise
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it's just kind of like i can see us recreating like you were saying before generational trauma like i can
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see us recreating a generational trauma and that's not something i want to do that's a negative way to look at life
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yeah can i ask a quick question that no no no because you're looking at you're looking at the
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worst case scenario but did you say um yeah did you say your life is not full of rainbows and sunshines
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like it's not gonna be like all good all the time i know bad all the time you're gonna have to
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have a balance of both yeah so to just look at the wrong that's happened to you it's like but did you
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say you were from a family that like i'm not sure if you said your parents were still together or
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so my parents are still together my parents are divorced yeah and there's so my my mom is her
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brother her sister yeah so yeah but there's only two of them so two people made 10 grandchildren yeah
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no that's surprising yeah obviously because obviously it was the whole what you said i would
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would have expected it to be the opposite obviously where you said that you come from um your parents
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are still together i would have expected the opposite where you would have said um you would
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you would have want children because obviously from what your parents you've got two large families and
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when it's come to like comes to festive events you're all together that's why i was surprised when
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you said that's why i asked the question like the opposite yeah i'm the one who wants kids yeah and
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it's funny to see like obviously generational like children everyone experiences it yeah yeah i i i i
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hear this question i've heard it on your podcast before um but nobody's ever like mentioned the fact
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that the process of having kids is like having kids raising children yeah the best of your ability
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you know without obviously going too far field and fucking it all up i'm scared and then you get old
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and your children look after you like what happens when you get old with no kids who's going to look after
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you and i think this brings up a good point that we were making before you you mentioned community
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and you were talking about how you would like your partner to help you build your community with you
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and i assume like you're you and your partner have kids and that creates your community me personally
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like i i build my community with like my church when i'm going out to friends i go to like a chess club
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like uh even like my work friends and things like that like those people are my my main community and
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i'm not necessarily expecting them to um like be by my bedside feeding me porridge when i'm you
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know i can't they might come to that time i'm sorry yeah but if you need that i'm sorry if you
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have a question i have a question you said so your church community that's where you'd find like
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that sense of community when you're old interesting um currently right now i'm still like looking for
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churches that align with how i personally experience christianity but yes like i'm looking for a church
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that would allow me to do that that would allow me to like rely on people work with people if i needed
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food and i'm 60 and i or i mean 60 is kind of young less like yeah yeah like i'm 80 and i can't afford
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do you think that's realistic to expect a church to take care of you when you're old this is what i'm
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saying i'm looking for the right church and i'm looking for the right community like i'm still i don't
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necessarily have my decrepit 80 year old community yet but that's what i'm building it i'm building
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and also she has a sizable family like i will have children my brother will yeah her kids can take
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care of me are you honestly going to be like sorry but are you honestly going to be as happy as you
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think that let's say you're 60 or 75 do you honestly believe you're going to be as happy like let's
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say for example you have children and those children that let's say you're 75 years old you
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know let's say for example your husband ain't there but you have your children who are going to look
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after you they're going to come and if you need some shopping they're going to come and shop for
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you and all of that do you want anything you don't want that at 75 because like let me let me keep it
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real they might even at 75 mandem out there you know the mandem you're looking at right now they're not
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going to look at you when you're 75 i'm sorry they're going to stop looking at you when you're 50
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maybe even 40. right push it at 35 you feel me i'm sorry but like like do you honestly believe
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like keep in mind from like 30 is that someone's phone sorry his phone was going off so i'm going
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a bit of a rant but like do you honestly whoever's phone that is step off camera and turn it off we said
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to turn the phones off before the show but go ahead i don't know whose phone that is sound like a weird
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mario game yeah yeah mad taste but like honestly do you sit in there yeah okay i don't i don't know
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whose it was okay okay go ahead yeah sorry but do you honestly believe like after the age of 35
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like keep in mind women in general they look for a certain type of man you feel me like if a man who's
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five foot two looks like a bowling ball you know it's like it's smelly and all of that if he walks up to
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you you're not going to give him the time of day you feel me so you want a certain type of man okay
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right and whatever your standards are understand that certain type of man he's going to look for a
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certain type of woman and i'm so sorry to tell you this and i hope i don't get cancelled for this
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but usually women over 35 they ain't the type of man they're looking for sorry they're not the type of
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woman they're looking for you feel me so do you honestly believe when you get parts sorry how old
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are you 26 you've lived 26 years of your life already you feel me do you honestly and do you
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know how long 26 years are you know because you've lived 26 years you feel me when you get to that 50
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you're going to live up to like 75 80. do you honestly believe that time by yourself is going to be
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an enjoyable time um so yeah so i want to bring up a couple of points that you mentioned so first
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things first like i don't want to bring kids into this world with the intention of having somebody
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to take care of me okay so it's not why you have children as many of you know i was just banned on
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